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Yuuji buzzes on his seat, like a child that struggles to stay still, clapping along the beat as his two lovers sing.
Satoru isn't away, and Megumi was granted a three-day off from his internship. Took the first train back to Tokyo for Yuuji's birthday. They're complete and together.
"Happy birthday, happy birthday," Megumi's voice is always heavenly. He lights the candles on Yuuji's strawberry shortcake, one from the bakery Nanamin has recommended.
Satoru grins wide, a glint of mischievousness flashing in his eyes, before using a party blower. The loud noise makes Megumi flinch and squeal in surprise, and Satoru laughs.
Megumi has to threaten him by fake aiming a plate his way just so he'd stop.
Yuuji laughs. He's never been this happy before. He blows the lit candle and makes a silent wish.
Yuuji wishes to die surrounded by people who loves him.
They never ask what each other wishes for in their birthdays. Megumi once said that saying it out loud would stop it from coming true. Satoru agrees.
Yuuji just thinks his wish is too innocent, too personal, and is embarrassed to say it out loud.
"Happy birthday, Yuuji." His lovers celebrate with him, all big smiles and lovely faces.
Satoru eventually forgets about the party blower in favor of being the one to slice the cake, putting a large cut on one plate and offering it to Yuuji.
Then of course, immediately getting one for himself. Which earns him a mean pinch from Megumi.
They eat. Satoru would randomly, out of nowhere, sing a skewed version of happy birthday again which would make the two laugh out loud. After eating, they pack up some stuff and go out to visit the nearby zoo.
Yuuji spends the entire day staring at the tigers, getting far too excited at his big age of twenty-nine. But Satoru enables him by being just as excited about the animals, and Megumi watches them with a small smile on his face and a satisfied look on his eyes.
When they return home and settles on bed, Yuuji somehow finds himself straddling Satoru and making out until he can't breathe.
When Yuuji pulls away, he could only take in one short breath before Megumi replaces Satoru on his lips, capturing him in another kiss. He feels Satoru nosing on his neck, featherlight kisses on his skin and making him gasp.
Yuuji's as red as tomato when Megumi finally relents. Mouth still open and gasping for breath out loud.
"Since it's my birthday…" Yuuji starts, breathless. He grips Satoru's dress shirt tightly. "Can we… try…"
"Hm? Try what?" Satoru asks, still sucking small hickeys on Yuuji's collarbone and chest.
"Which one is it this time? Time stop? Personality and common sense change?" Megumi rolls his eyes as he lists down each of the kinks he knows Yuuji has, but there's a soft knowing smirk on his face. "Want Satoru to wear a skirt and panties? Rip 'em off when you bend him over the kitchen counter? Or you wanna fuck me while we do chores as if that's 'normal'? I told you to stop watching those weird AVs."
"No! Not that! I—I—," Yuuji stutters, completely ashamed at Megumi calling out his most twisted fantasies. He hasn't even told Satoru about the skirt thing yet!
Satoru perks up, no trace of shame in his face when he asks, "What skirt? I'll wear it!"
"Stoooop!" Yuuji groans, hiding his face behind his hands. He peeps between the fingers and watches Megumi for any reaction, then braces himself. "I just—I mean, I wanna try. For a baby. Can… Can we?"
Megumi's eyes widen for a fraction of a second, and Yuuji feels like he might just get turned down.
"Ah… You don't have to ask for it like that."
Yuuji swallows down his nervousness and accepts it won't be tonight. It's fine! Megumi didn't promise them anything anyway. Just an openness to the idea. No need to push! "We don't have to, if you don't want…"
"No, yeah, let's try." Megumi simply says, then looks at Satoru. "Help me."
Huh?
Yuuji stops in his tracks, frozen like a rock. Watches Megumi take his place in straddling Satoru. He moves back slowly, gawking when Satoru gingerly remove Megumi's pants and underwear, revealing a pretty pink slit. Megumi raises his ass and leans against Satoru's body for support, hands gripping his shoulders. Each of Satoru's hands grab plump ass cheeks, pulling them apart until Megumi's cunt appears in full, clear display in front of Yuuji.
All of Yuuji's blood rushes down south at the sight. It's like Megumi's presenting himself with Satoru's guidance. Shit, shit.
"We're lovers," Satoru grins at Yuuji's reaction, whistles at the growing tent on his pants. "We expected this."
Megumi looks back, eyes filled with lust. He raises his ass more, back bending to a sexy curve. "Come on, thought you wanted to put a baby in me?"
Yuuji's brain short-circuits, and his heart beats so fast and hard, he can hear it on his head. The few times he remember feeling like this was when Satoru was officially accepted in their relationship, then that time when Megumi left their room for the first time in months after taking him away from his home, and when he stuck his dick in Megumi for the first time years ago.
Yuuji crawls over, hastily pulling his own sweats off. His cock is painfully hard, heavy and dripping. When he reaches Megumi, his hands wrap over the pale skin of his waists so tight he might leave bruises, and slowly he sinks in the embrace of Megumi's warm and inviting hole.
When his hip presses flush against Megumi's ass, Yuuji pauses. Megumi moans, Satoru pressing comforting kisses on his hair, whispering soft compliments, how he's taking Yuuji so well, he's going to be bred nice and full, how he'd look good round with kids.
Yuuji gasps, just as affected as Megumi with Satoru's words. He savors the way Megumi pulses around him. When he oh so slowly pulls out, Megumi's hole flutters around his shaft so beautifully.
He starts a steady pace of fucking Megumi, and when Megumi mewls, hips meeting his thrusts just as enthusiastically, Yuuji realizes just how far they've all come.
The hallways seem to stretch on and on.
Yuuji struggles to breathe, smoke filling his lungs every time he inhales. He struggles to run as distant screams echoes behind him. He doesn't dare look back. His own body doesn't even respond to his own will to turn around for a peek. All he can do is keep moving, one feet after the other in a desperate run towards the door that never seems to get closer.
Then a featherlight touch envelopes him, and suddenly he realizes just how small he is. Has he always been small? No. He remembers being able to reach the doorknob. He isn't this small. But in here, he is. He's so small that the touch easily picks him up, a hand behind him yanking the front door open and—when did the door get this close? Wasn't he running towards it earlier, and so far back?—but it opens to a cool, crisp air, the exact opposite of the raging heat behind him.
Yuuji finally feels like he can breathe, and then slowly he forces his body to turn behind, to look, to see what happened.
Flame crackles. Then an explosion.
"Yuuji!"
Screaming. Yuuji coughs.
"Yuuji!
Debris of wood, sharp splinters, grazing just beneath his eye he thought he'd go blind.
"Yuuji!"
Yuuji gasps and wakes to a warm bed, entire face and neck drenched in cold sweat.
It's silent. The humming of air-conditioning on max is the only sound reverberating through the walls of their home.
He's home.
"Yuuji, baby," Someone coos, and finally, his brain catches up with his eyes as his sight lands on Megumi's face, softly illuminated by the bedside lamp. Feels the gentle arms wrapped around him as he's cradled close to a warm body, as if he's something fragile. "You're fine baby, it's okay. It's just another nightmare."
Then the door opens, and Yuuji watches white hair enter, Satoru holding a glass of water. "He awake?"
"Yeah," Megumi breathes out, a relief washing over him. "Yuuji, can you hear me?"
Yuuji can only nod weakly. When he tries to say, 'yeah,' his mouth seizes in himself.
"Here," Satoru's beside him in an instant, helping him sit and letting him drink off the glass slowly. A hand softly pets his head, Megumi's fingers slipping and massaging the shaven part of his undercut.
"You okay?" Satoru asks once he pulls the glass away. Yuuji nods. Megumi's nibbling on his lower lip, face painted with worry. But he doesn't say anything as they lay back down to bed.
His lovers cuddle with him after, lulling Yuuji back to sleep with Megumi's head resting on his chest and Satoru's lips pressed on his temple.
Megumi went to his internship five months ago. He'll be back by the end of the month.
A week ago, Yuuji signed a package for Megumi. It's not uncommon for them to receive online parcels for each other, mostly things they need at home or food they saw online.
This one, however, has no indication of it's content other than Megumi's name and their address. How did it even clear postal inspections!?
Yuuji calls Megumi, and he was silent for an entire two minutes before finally relenting. "It's… the strap."
The strap?
"A strap?"
Of course Satoru would be listening in on the conversation, his hands already picking at the tape sealing the package. "How big was it, 'Gumi?"
"Uh, average?" Megumi answers. "Around five or six? I honestly don't remember, I ordered that before I even left."
When Satoru successfully rips off the tape, he giggles full of glee. Like a child. "Who's going down on it first?"
"You two pick among yourselves, I don't mind who." Then there's stifled laughter, Megumi trying hard not to laugh as he probably imagines Yuuji struggling on it. "You're both going to get a taste anyway."
Yuuji is dumbfounded. He knows Megumi brought up the idea of a strap before, sometime before he left, even teasing Yuuji and Satoru about making them both his bitches. But he's still not prepared! While he's not particularly opposed to switching, he's just… never had the chance to bottom before.
And that's how Yuuji found himself losing three times to rock-paper-scissors, Megumi laughing at him through the video call, and Satoru promising that he'd be gentle. He wouldn't want Yuuji's first time to hurt, as he says.
This is not gentle at all!
"Satoru…"
Yuuji grunts, tries to adjust his position but ends up only moaning as Satoru's dick slides deeper in his ass.
"Why—holy shit—am I—hahh—doing this!?"
Yuuji trembles, legs flexing as he straddles Satoru. His hands bundle to tight fists resting on broad chests, breathing hard as he slowly gets used to Satoru's length.
He isn't really questioning his choices. Taking Satoru's cock in him has his full, sane consent. It's just that Satoru is so girthy. And while Yuuji knows that, has stared at his lover's dick go to pound town on Megumi's pussy more times than he would admit, gets hard at the thought of seeing pink hole stretched around his shaft, and has loved wrapping his hands around it and stroking Satoru to finishing while he himself fucks him, having that cock inside him, for the first time ever, is proving to be quite the task.
Satoru hums, playful and mocking, "Well, it's not fair Megumi's the only one adjusting for us…"
Then he thrusts, shallow, but it's too much and Yuuji feels like he's going split in half! "W-wait!"
"Relax," Satoru's hand wraps over Yuuji's hips, guiding him to pull up, watches the way his cock leaves Yuuji's puckered hole that clings to his shaft. "Fuuuck, that's hot."
Yuuji has never bottomed before. Satoru was a slut for sex and has always taken Yuuji whenever they get intimate without Megumi. But now he's the one clinging to dear life as he adjusts to the fat cock stretching him open.
"Push your ass out some more," Satoru says, pointedly looking at the phone recording them. "Megumi will want to see how I'm training the hole he's going to strap next week."
Yuuji whines, deep from the cavern of his chest as he juts his ass out some more, back curving, but he freezes when Satoru hit something, white hot pleasure zapping up his spine it actually makes him flinch.
"There we go," Satoru coos, then he holds Yuuji just an inch or so above him and smiles apologetically. "Found it~"
And Satoru starts fucking up to Yuuji in earnest, targeting that same spot that has Yuuji keening. He seizes up for a second before his entire body go numb from the overwhelming heat rising up his body, Satoru pointedly brushing against that sweet bundle of nerves inside him with each thrust. "S-satoru!!"
"So—" Another thrust, Yuuji whining again, "fucking," Satoru pulls Yuuji off and deftly flips them over. Yuuji's chest presses plush against the mattress, ass raised up. Satoru grabs a random pillow and slots it beneath Yuuji for support.
Then Satoru re-enters him in one swift motion, and Yuuji groans at the stretch. "Tight!"
Yuuji gets completely wrecked, Satoru doesn't even give him the chance to complain as every thought in his head is fucked to silence, mind blank as all he can focus on is Satoru's cock reaching deep inside him, dragging on his walls, hips meeting the round of his ass while Satoru pounds him with force.
He drools on the pillows, eyes crossing. His own cock trapped beneath them, heavy and leaking precum enough to soak the pillow. Yuuji has never felt like this before—so this is what Satoru feels every time Yuuji fucks him? This is so—
Blissful.
"Please," Yuuji begs, hands gripping the sheets as Satoru fucks him faster, ruts every so often against his ass that he feels the tip rubbing directly on that spot that sends stars across his vision. Satoru's hands slide down his back, nails digging on skin, leaving red lines as if marking his territory. "Please, please, please!"
"Wanna cum?" Satoru leans down, chest against Yuuji's back and his lips pressed on his ear.
Yuuji nods over and over, stupidly to be honest, until he feels a hand slip down to wrap around his own cock, tugging gently, pulling the foreskin until fingers can roll around the crown.
And that's enough for Yuuji to burst, spill all over Satoru's hands and the pillow with a shout, vision flashing white. His first ever orgasm while bottoming—all from Satoru's relentless thrusts, his hand, and the friction from the pillow underneath.
Satoru groans, thrusting a few more times before he stills, buries himself deep in Yuuji's ass and unloads sticky, thick cum that Yuuji feels deep in his guts.
Shit, Yuuji thinks he's going to get addicted to this.
Yuuji can only watch as his phone explodes with multiple text messages from Megumi. He runs his hands over his face, frustrated and hiding the rising flush in his face. But there's no one to hide from.
First it's emojis, an angry face and a couple of middle fingers up. Then it's incomprehensible keyboard smashing that Yuuji almost laughs at.
Then, "YUUJI!!!"
"CANT WAIT TO GET HOME"
"UR SO HOT BABE OMG"
Yuuji groans at the reminder that the reason why Megumi is blowing up his phone at 4 AM is because he probably just woke up and the first thing he sees in his phone is the video Satoru sent him the night before. Specifically waiting for Megumi to sleep before shooting the video across the country.
It's of Yuuji riding Satoru and then getting creamed, all on an explicit video they recorded to tease Megumi.
And Satoru is just. Peacefully sleeping through the pings. Yuuji groans, again.
"I'M COMING HOME TOMORROW THEY LET ME LEAVE EARLY"
"GET READY"
Yuuji stares at the text and swallows hard as he feels heat rising up to his cheeks.
All of Yuuji's firsts are shared with Megumi.
So it really wouldn't be too much to let Megumi fuck him with a strap, that'd just be another first time they can share together, just like the many others they did. Yuuji remembers everything like it was yesterday.
His first confession, which he did behind their campus building with him carrying a small handwritten note Ozawa helped him make. It was seven pages long, he overworked his braincells thinking of words and poetry to write. All for Megumi. The handwriting might be bad, but that's all his pure feelings for the dark haired mysterious boy he only sees on the school library! Yuuji doesn't even share any class with him, so he just felt like it was destiny to know Megumi.
Then his first date, which he saved up for, taking Megumi to an amusement park and winning him a stuffed dog in one of the games.
His first sleepover, nervous and jittery as Toji-san looked him up and down upon his arrival at the Fushiguro's front door.
His first kiss, after taking Megumi out to watch a movie and escorting him back home, the raven haired love of his life leaning in to give a chaste kiss, cherry lip gloss lingering like ghost over his lips. Yuuji never thought the city was anything special even after moving in here, but that all changed the night Megumi kissed him under the stars that always haunts the city.
And even his first time, at the back of his grandpa's car, knee deep in the seat and eating out Megumi—sloppy and experimental—before making love. It's Yuuji's first time seeing and using a condom, but they were satisfied and happy, even if they did it on something that isn't a comfy bed, even if they were clumsy and inexperienced.
Even if Toji-san hated Yuuji for his daughter, how he supposedly enables Megumi's delusions and antics.
Even the first time Yuuji sees a fight between family in real time, he shared with Megumi. He was just supposed to pick him up for their anniversary date. Yuuji has already planned the entire day to the last detail. But then he receives a frantic series of texts from Megumi and he had never rushed to the Fushiguro household that fast before. As soon as he stands on the front door, he hears the drunken babble of Megumi's father, and it took him an embarrassingly long time to realize that the two is fighting so hard their shouts can be heard outside even if the front door is shut.
If you’re going to date a guy anyway, what’s the point of transitioning!? Dumbass!
Megumi opens the front door wildly, eyes red from crying, and sees Yuuji holding a bouquet of flowers. Yuuji doesn't know what to say.
"Get me out of here," Megumi begs. Grips Yuuji by his shirt, knuckles white as he trembles. "Please, Yuuji."
And Yuuji did. Helped his lover pack his bags instead of going out and by the time the sun set, they're on a cab back to Yuuji's house with two bags worth of Megumi's stuff.
They're like puzzle pieces at that. Where people would say they're entirely different individuals, but they fit together perfectly. A fated pair.
After taking Megumi away, when his lover has fallen into a spiral of self-doubt and depression, Yuuji did his best to stay and be present. Understanding. Open.
It's weeks of full hell. Yuuji can literally say he barely slept a wink.
So when Megumi nods weakly after Yuuji asked for a shared shower, he doesn't celebrate loudly. It's like a crack, with light seeping through it. It feels like Yuuji might combust, but he holds it in. Doesn't say anything too loud, too crass, too lively. He just went to the drawer and picked clothes. A black shirt of Megumi's for himself, a pink hoodie from his own pile for his lover. Sharing clothes, as Panda puts it, is also a form of love.
Yuuji hopes Megumi finally accepts all the love he's giving him.
Yuuji walks to the bathroom, calculated steps of placing clothes on the side and running a bath until the temperature is warm enough, like how he remembers Megumi loves to take them. Arranges the soap, shampoo, and conditioner so it's easier for him to grab. Then when he feels like it's all in place, he goes back to Megumi.
And he sees him sitting on the side of the bed, as if he's ready to join him. After all the weeks he spent not even sitting up on his own to eat. After weeks of Yuuji spoon feeding him oats and soft food. After weeks of crying himself to sleep and waking up with dead cold eyes.
Megumi, sitting, thin legs hanging on the side of the bed. But that's his own actions and that's his Megumi.
It's hard not to actually both beam and cry. He still remembers hiding the knives, locking the cabinet of chemical cleaners, and changing the lock of their front door to a timed one so that whenever he goes out for errands and had to leave Megumi behind on his own, he'd be reassured of his safety.
No, Megumi has not tried to kill himself. Not yet. But sometimes he tells Yuuji, of moments where he thinks he'd be better off dead. But Megumi never does anything drastic, no. Yuuji believes it's because Megumi thinks he'd be upset. And he would be. But if anything, Yuuji's upset that Megumi is letting himself waste away like that.
One time, the words Yuuji has dreaded to hear the most came even.
"We should… break up." Uttered on a hushed tone, as if Megumi is scared that Yuuji will agree despite him being the one to bring it up. "Don't… trap yourself… with damaged shit like me. A freak like me."
What the hell?
Something breaks. Maybe it's Yuuji's brain. Maybe it's his heart. But it's the first time he has ever raised his voice on Megumi, and the only time he ever did. He shouted, screamed his frustration that he's trying oh so hard to help Megumi, but nothing will come out of it if Megumi just gives up. There were surely some choice words as well that Yuuji doesn't want to remember anymore, but he was just so tired of taking care of Megumi, getting the smallest amount of sleep from nightmares still reoccurring, working through an actual lawsuit he still hasn't told megumi about, and working a job while still attending his classes.
Megumi stared at him with wide eyes, like a deer caught in headlights. His lips wobble slightly, then he sniffles, whines, and Yuuji's anger immediately crumbles to dust.
When he comforts Megumi this time, he's not the only one crying. He sobs just as hard as him, begs Megumi to not leave him behind like that. To not say those words to him ever again because he doesn't know if he'll be able to take it.
Because Yuuji absolutely cannot tell Megumi about the on-going lawsuit that threatens the very home that they're staying in. No, he will not be able to survive if Megumi leaves him as well when everything he has can be taken away from him overnight.
But Yuuji pushes through the thoughts, like he always does. Shakes his head to return to reality and sees the way Megumi is watching him. He walks over and offers him a hand.
Which Megumi takes, and Yuuji feels like his entire heart just leapt up to his throat.
With shaky legs, Yuuji helps Megumi to the bathroom. Lets Megumi roam around while he pushes the curtain open only to turn around and catch Megumi doubling over the sink and throwing up.
"Megumi!" Yuuji rushes over, hand on Megumi's back running up and down to soothe him. "What's wrong!?"
Megumi vomits the little food he had that day.
But what surprises Yuuji is after, when Megumi has washed his mouth and face, he looks at him all determined. "L-let's eat after."
An initiation to live, from Megumi's own agency. Yuuji wants to explode from joy.
All the positivity Yuuji exudes is enough to light up an entire room. Behind that brightness, he can count on one hand the number of times he lost his spark and felt his heart literally break into two.
First was when both of his parents died in a terrible house fire. He doesn't fully understand what happened then, but sometimes he'd dream of hallways filled with smoke and his mother's touch pushing him out the door, sharp wooden debris hitting his face, before he wakes to a loud, spine-chilling explosion. How his entire body would violently shake before he realizes that he's in bed, besides his lovers. The room is air-conditioned, but he will always be damp with sweat and breathing heavily.
Megumi would be holding his body softly. While Satoru would come back to the room with a glass full of water. He'd drink, then be wrapped in soft embrace before he falls to sleep again.
Then it repeats. Sometimes it skips a day and Yuuji gets a good night's rest. Sometimes it happens on the same night multiple times. They don't keep track of how much it does. It's just something Yuuji has learned to live with, after realizing when he was just nineteen that the therapy sessions he comes to alongside Megumi was not helping him with the nightmares at all other than drain the money his grandpa left him with.
His grandpa.
Yuuji's second heartbreak isn't the fact that his grandpa passed away. It isn't even the final words left to him, but he can remember those words as clear as day.
The flowers he brought with him two days ago are still standing strong on the vase he put them in. He isn't sure how much water they need and how much leaves he should have trimmed, but somehow, they're glowing. The petals soft and the surface holds little mildew.
The same cannot be said for the man who raised him to be kind and generous. Yuuji knows, that all he is, he owes to his grandpa.
"Yuuji…" Despite the growing ache in his chest, watching his grandpa waste away in a tiny hospital bed is not one of the times Yuuji's heart has shattered. Instead, it's the exact moment where he realizes what he wants in his life. "When you die… make sure… you're surrounded by people… that loves you."
People he loves, huh?
"Papa!" A cacophony of sounds that Yuuji can still differentiate, his children and lover laughing in the background. "Look! I drew you and Daddy!"
Yuuji would look at the painting, and see a house filled with love and happiness. "You did! I'm so proud."
His kid would run back to his lover, sit on Megumi's lap while he still stares at him. Hands accommodating the inane babbling of a happy child while still looking at Yuuji with a small, content smile.
"Papa, it's fine, you've raised us well. You can rest now."
Yuuji watches the people he holds dear in his life be by his side, then closes his eyes.
Yuuji already has a picture of his death on his mind, and somehow, it isn't as scary as other people make it out to be.
His grandpa lived a very fulfilled life despite losing his son and daughter-in-law in a freak fire accident. He spent the rest of his retirement raising Yuuji, putting him in school, and the one to sign him up to therapy after he noticed the nightmares that plagued the child after the fire. So no, it wasn't the death of his grandpa that broke his heart.
It was the lawsuit served on him merely a week after burying his grandpa that shattered him.
It was only him and Megumi together back then. And his lover isn't even capable of leaving the bed, fighting his own struggle that Yuuji tries so hard to help with. Everything fell on Yuuji's shoulders.
There were times in the present, where Yuuji wonders if it could have been handled better if Satoru is already with them.
But then he thinks it happened the way it did because the world wants him and Megumi to be successful, independent adults before they meet Satoru. That it's only fair, a preparation of sorts.
Still, the letter back then was delivered on a simple sunny day. A summon. Yuuji doesn't even recognize whoever it was claiming the land. But the name written, Ryoumen Sukuna, is enough to make Yuuji's stomach drop. It feels… familiar.
Another thing on top of the growing pile of worries Yuuji has to take care of on his own. He nibbles on his lips, the paper on his hand shows words he can understand individually, but not when put together like this. He glances at the cracked door towards the bedroom, towards Megumi curled up in bed sleeping, and thinks there's absolutely no way he could let Megumi know about it now.
It's fine, he'll manage and he'll deal with it on his own.
But he was only nineteen.
As a clueless kid, Yuuji went to court alone. He doesn't realize he should have brought a defense attorney. Doesn't even know how these things work. But as he stand on the court, finally meeting the person suing him, Yuuji barely recognizes the man.
It's his grandpa's brother. The one who always seem to sneer at him when he was a kid and he'd visit. Eventually, he never came back around.
Until now, backed with a petrifying lawsuit.
The judge wasn't kind at all. He looked Yuuji in the eye and scolded him for not preparing anything to defend himself. It wasn't looking good, and he was being grilled on his spot. But when the judge notices Yuuji trembling beneath the gavel, he asks. "How old are you?"
"N-nineteen, you h-honor?" Yuuji isn't even sure what to address the judge as. Just followed what Sukuna's lawyer has been calling people.
Then, to Yuuji's relief, the judge turned and berated someone else Yuuji doesn't know. Went off about how no one told him he should have gotten a lawyer, and was pissed off enough by the end of it to re-schedule the hearing.
"Be sure to actually prepare next time."
That allowed Yuuji to scrape together his remaining money to hire a lawyer good enough to defend his claim. But he doesn't know one. Doesn't even know where to look for one.
He goes to work, helps Megumi take baby steps and manages to convince him to go to therapy, and as well as run small errands for the house while the impending date of his next hearing creeps closer and closer.
While putting away weights after a session of workout with his clients, someone suddenly calls on Yuuji.
"I know of one." Yuuji looks up and sees one of his clients from the gym, a salary man that goes by the name of Nanami Kento. "A good lawyer, I mean."
And Nanamin introduces him to a man named Higuruma Hiromi, who accepts his case pro bono, out of pity or connection, Yuuji doesn't know. Doesn't care to know when he was told that his great uncle's case holds no merit when Yuuji is explicitly stated as the heir of the land and house on his grandpa's will.
When Yuuji came home after meeting with his new lawyer, he finds Megumi sitting on the living room couch and watching the news. His Megumi, out of bed and in another room. Then that head full of black, soft hair turns to look at him, and Yuuji feels his heart swell.
"Welcome home, Yuuji." Megumi greets with a small smile on his face.
Yuuji is a little more confident in his life this time. He walks over to Megumi, leans down and presses a soft kiss on his cheek. "Yeah, I'm home."
Everything in Yuuji's life worked out eventually, even if it started rocky and chaotic. His parents passing when he was just a boy brought his grandpa closer to him. With his great-uncle threatening to claim the land and home his grandpa left him with, he's blessed to know of a lawyer kind enough to help him settle the lawsuits without it worrying Megumi. And, with Megumi hitting rock bottom after Yuuji swept him out and away from his abusive household, Megumi eventually allows Yuuji to love him unconditionally.
So what's left of him now?
Another heartbreak.
Yuuji's last counted heartbreak isn't Megumi asking to break up with him when he was spiraling.
It's when Megumi was finally recovering, half a year into therapy, when it happens. They were getting better. Experimenting on their relationship, Yuuji always accommodating to Megumi's current well-being. They tried out things, rules, and everything in between.
"I don't want to carry kids," Megumi says, voice soft while he hugs Yuuji tightly. Like he's scared Yuuji will suddenly rip him away from him after saying those words. "I'm sorry. I just can't. I'm sorry, I'm so so sorry, Yuuji."
And suddenly, the last words of Yuuji's grandpa echoes in his head. Of cold hospital room where Yuuji listened to his old man babble about Yuuji promising him to die happy, surrounded by people he loves.
And Yuuji loves Megumi. Still do. Will never change. He was, maybe, just hoping to have a bit of a family with him.
Yuuji doesn't ask Megumi why.
Because it's fine. Yuuji will manage. He always does.
"I'm surprised you're taking this so well," Nanamin says, spoken as a matter of fact. "Most young people who are under this type of pressure usually break under. But you're pretty confident, Itadori-kun."
"Honestly, I'm not," Yuuji sighs, slouches on the booth as he stares at the swirling ice on his sweetened tea. They're waiting for Hiromi to come and update them on the progress of the case. "I was really scared. I didn't know what to do until you recommended Hiromi-san." He picks up the glass and takes a sip. It's refreshing. "Just because I act tough doesn't mean I feel like it, but Megumi needs that type of reassurance."
"Well, I guess Megumi-kun's in a better head space now than a year ago."
"He is!" Yuuji beams as he sets the glass down, always happy with the progress Megumi is making through therapy. He just managed to go out for groceries for the first time yesterday, all on his own! Yuuji is so proud.
"Maybe it's time to… tell him?"
Yuuji gives Nanami a look.
"You really don't plan on telling him this?"
Yuuji shakes his head no. Nanami sighs, but doesn't press any further.
"Then, now that Megumi-kun is settled back in. Have you ever thought about things you want that were shelved for him?"
"I guess," Yuuji contemplates over the words. Doesn't want to say that what he wants is something that Megumi doesn't. What he wants is something that will never be. So instead, he deftly turns it away from that train of thought. "But I don't think Megumi's ready for any drastic change yet."
"I thought you wanted…" Nanami trails off when he sees the despondent smile on Yuuji's face. It's a mistake to tell Nanami he wanted a family during a exercise breaks. "Did you ask him?"
Yuuji shakes his head no, again. There's no way he can ask Megumi to start a family, at least, not in that sense. It's just not in the table at all. But it's fine, he'll manage. They're still happy and that's what's important. They're already a family even if there's just the two of them.
Nanamin gives him a sad smile. "How could you know if you haven't asked? Give Megumi-kun more credit, Yuuji. He's a tough kid."
I'm so, so, so sorry, Yuuji.
If only Nanamin knows.
"Sorry, I'm a bit late." Yuuji breaks into a grin that doesn't quite reach his ears as he hears Hiromi's voice, grateful for the arrival to sway the direction of the conversation elsewhere. "I was drafting a contract for a group of intimate partners and lost track of time."
Yuuji's curious little head bites at the question, his mouth opening to ask immediately. "Group of intimate partners…?"
"Yeah," Hiromi sits next to Nanamin, then places a briefcase and opens it to reveal stacks of papers for Yuuji's lawsuit update. "A polycule of sorts. There were four of them, and one didn't want to marry."
It's the first time Yuuji has heard of such a thing, but it must be nice to have that much love gong around, doesn't it?
Hiromi starts getting Yuuji up to speed with his current case, and the thought is pushed to the back of his head.
A year passes. Yuuji won his case against Sukuna. It was unnecessarily cruel, and Hiromi even told him that it took longer than expected because Sukuna was unbelievable persistent. He even asked him if Yuuji ever did anything to the man, because the way he fights doesn't really seem like he cared about the land and title. Just that he seems to want to watch Yuuji squirm, suffer, and struggle.
Thanks to a little payout on that lawsuit, Yuuji manages to resign from his job waiting tables and focus to the relaxed, more interesting (in his opinion) job he has. Sidelining as a personal trainer in their local gym. It's where he met Nanamin and some people who he considers friends as well, like Choso, Panda, and Toge.
Slowly, Megumi returns to the living as well. Yuuji finally tells him about the fight for the land now that the dust has settled. And Megumi was shocked for a fraction of a second before he's screaming at Yuuji about not trusting him enough to share the burden.
Yuuji had to apologize physically, until Megumi's way too spaced out to even think of how upset he was about it and just be filled with thoughts of Yuuji's cock.
Eventually, Megumi forgives him enough.
He also got accepted part time in a local shelter to help with the animals. His Megumi has always been fond of them. Yuuji loves to recount the story, when they were in high school, where Megumi ran through oncoming traffic to scoop a small cat trapped in the middle of the road.
They received a severe reprimanding from a police officer that saw them. But Megumi was holding the cat between his arms and close to his chest the entire time, and Yuuji has never seen him so worried before in his entire life.
After a few months, Megumi manages to catch up with his peers and enter college. While he has to work hard on everything he missed, Yuuji is confident Megumi can do it. He's smarter than him, after all.
Then Megumi would sometimes tell Yuuji about wanting to go to Veterinary School and he'd start working on jobs to save up for the expenses.
Seeing Megumi thinking, talking, and wanting to share a future with Yuuji is all that he can ever ask for.
Everything is starting to work out in their life. It isn't perfect, but they're happy. Thursday traditions, sleeping together, and grocery run turning into casual dates. It's perfect. They have a routine, are living comfortably, and loves each other very much.
Then Yuuji meets him. A man with white hair and a beautiful smile so enchanting it has Yuuji stumbling over his words when he talks to him.
The man becomes one of his clients, Gojo Satoru, he introduces himself. And Yuuji tried so hard to keep himself together. But even a stone would notice the way Satoru stared at him, his touches lingering long enough for Yuuji to doubt his sanity but fleeting fast for him not to assume anything.
It almost feels like cheating on Megumi, and Yuuji hated the feeling. But he can't help the way he craves being in the same space as Satoru.
If only.
There were four in the relationship.
Yuuji shakes the thought out of his head. Replaces it, even. Megumi isn't ready for any drastic change right now.
But if it's just three? Megumi, him, and…
Yuuji growls. Internally chastising himself for thinking such thoughts.
Have you asked Megumi-kun? Give him more credit.
Yuuji groans in frustration. Tapping his cheeks with both palms lightly, as if to wake himself from delusions. Shut up.
The series of emotions blooming on Yuuji's face is enough to give him whiplash.
Satoru has him wrapped around his fingers after an impressive bench press that Yuuji just short circuits when the man throws and arm over his shoulders, grinning wide. "I think we're hitting it off well, and I'd be blind to not admit you're pretty hot."
He almost feels nauseous at how wildly his stomach flipped at the implication of Satoru's words.
"Yuuji, are you free for dinner sometime?"
And it all reaches a cruel crescendo that Yuuji is unfortunately not ready to play. If only he had more time to accommodate Megumi to the idea of…
No, what's he even thinking?
"Thank you for the offer, but I'm already with someone."
The way Satoru's eyes widen, his lips pull to a weird, pained frown has Yuuji almost backtrack.
"Oy, Yuuji!" His coworker at the front desk calls out. "Fushiguro-kun’s here!"
Shit.
"Yuuji, babe! You promised me ice crea—" Megumi freezes mid step towards Yuuji. "Eh?"
Satoru stares at Megumi, then at Yuuji. “Eh?”
Megumi glares at Satoru, as if there's a thick, unspoken tension in the air. Yuuji has gotten a bit better in picking up on those, but he's still left a bit dumbfounded at the situation.
Yuuji slowly disentangles from Satoru, head whipping between the two men. “Eh?”
Yuuji would have found the entire thing funny, if Megumi isn't fuming right now.
"How long have you been talking to that guy!?"
"Megumi, calm down," Yuuji tries, but Megumi just stomps through the living room, not even trying to understand a word from him. Yuuji sighs. "'Gumi, please!"
The moment they left the gym, after Satoru apologized profusely from his mistake of flirting with each of them respectively, Megumi has been giving him the silent treatment. The entire train ride and walk towards their house, Megumi has not even breathed in his direction.
Yuuji was too focused trying to appease Megumi that he didn't really register Satoru's apologies.
As soon as they entered their home… All hell's let loose.
Megumi's voice echoes in the halls, rough and loud. "Calm down!? You think just because—"
The rest of the words, whatever it was that Megumi throws, is blocked out automatically by Yuuji's ears. There's no use listening to Megumi when he's mad. He'd say words he doesn't mean and cry about it later. So Yuuji doesn't take it seriously.
"I swear, we weren't doing anything!" Yuuji follows Megumi towards their bedroom and sees him already opening a suitcase.
Ah, not this again.
"Stop that," Yuuji says, stern, closing the suitcase shut it almost trapped Megumi's arms. He flinches away and glares at Yuuji, who only glares back. "Where do you think you're going?"
"Away the fuck from you, that's where." Megumi's words are sharp and cruel, making Yuuji pause and his glare soften, completely taken aback as he purses his lips. His lover continues. "Maybe when I'm gone you'd be able to invite that old albino geezer over, have fun lifting weights and ogling his muscles."
Megumi pushes past him and turns away, arms folded over his chest.
"Megumi, fucking hell," Yuuji starts, but swallows his words when he hears Megumi sniffle. Even if he can't see Megumi's face, Yuuji knows. He's crying already. "I told you. There's nothing. Absolutely nothing. He was just a client. I told him I'm already with you."
Megumi continues holding his stuttering breath in, shoulders trembling just slightly. Yuuji frowns. Steps towards Megumi and pulls him to an embrace. Megumi lets himself be manhandled, at least. "Hey, look at me."
Megumi shakes his head and hides his face on Yuuji's chest, defiant.
"You…" Yuuji lifts Megumi's head by the chin, softly. And he sees it, Megumi struggling to keep himself together, eyes starting to get red and puffy, shiny and glazed over with tears. "I'm not going to leave you. Megumi, I love you."
He leans in and presses a kiss on Megumi's forehead, his nose, then his lips, swallowing a broken sob from his lover. Until slowly, he's guiding Megumi to lay on the bed, crawling on top of him, hands settled on his waists.
Yuuji licks Megumi's lips, a silent plea to be let in. And Megumi gives, opens his mouth enough to invite, enough for Yuuji to push his tongue in and flood Megumi with the taste of him.
To remind his lover of the now, the here. The never ending love Yuuji has to give.
Megumi's hands fly up to wrap around Yuuji's body, moaning softly against his lips while his fingers dig on muscled back. He gasps against Yuuji's advances, whines when he feels hands roaming his body, palms pressing tight against his clothed cunt.
"I love you," Yuuji sighs, trailing kisses on Megumi's lips, to his cheeks, to his neck. It has always been like this; a fight, then soft intimacy. A pattern of love that Yuuji has memorized like the back of his hand. Megumi always needs the reassurance, in words and in action, and Yuuji is always more than willing to provide.
Gently, he starts rubbing Megumi against his clothes, ecstatic when he feels the radiating warmth beneath his skin.
He nibbles on Megumi's earlobe, whispering sweet nothings, knees pushing his legs to spread further apart. Slots himself perfectly between soft thighs.
Megumi gasps. "Yuuji—babe." He grinds against Yuuji's palms, groaning at the pressure on his clothed sex.
"So eager," Yuuji licks along his ear, another hand pulling at the hem of Megumi's shirt just enough to expose the smooth stomach underneath, to run his fingers over until he can feel goosebumps and his lover's breath stutter.
"You're so beautiful," Yuuji sucks on Megumi's neck, leaving pink hickeys along pale skin, his hand roaming up to cup one soft pec, thumb rubbing soft circles against the uneven skin of Megumi's scar underneath. "So perfect for me, I can't possibly leave."
Megumi doesn't stop Yuuji from pulling his sweatpants off, doesn't stop his lover when two fingers dip between his wet folds, teasing the clit and entrance by smearing his own juices all over. "You're already so wet, babe, you like fighting me that much?"
"N-no," Megumi denies, but Yuuji's middle finger easily slipping inside his cunt says otherwise.
"No?" Yuuji repeats, adding a second finger along with the one rubbing Megumi's walls. "Then is it the sure fucking I'm going to give you after that makes you this excited?"
Megumi looks away, face red and breathing hard.
Yuuji pulls back to look at his lover. "Look at me."
Megumi doesn't move.
"I said—" Yuuji hooks his fingers, on that spot he knows drives Megumi crazy. "—look at me."
Megumi's hips raises from the bed for a moment before dropping back down, his head snaps forward as he looks at Yuuji with half lidded eyes. "Yuuji!"
"There's my handsome man," Yuuji grins, then kisses Megumi hard. Starts fucking his fingers in and out of Megumi's cunt, swallowing each of his moans as he draw them out. Savors the way Megumi squirms against him, hands flying around him and clawing at his back. Nails digging on skin, making Yuuji hiss as his fingers jabs deeper, adding a third one to stretch Megumi further.
And when Megumi is whining against him, hips meeting his fingers desperately, Yuuji pulls all three out.
Megumi opens his mouth to protest, only for Yuuji to then tap Megumi's clit in one quick firm motion after.
Whatever sound Megumi intends to make gets cut out and exchanged for a silent scream, mouth agape as the sudden onslaught of pleasure zaps through his body, cumming on the spot. He chokes out a garbled moan, pussy spasming on nothing as he involuntarily trembles.
When he comes back to, he realizes that Yuuji already got him bent almost in half, legs spread and up in the air.
Soft lips press on Megumi's forehead, contrasting to the calloused hands gripping his thighs apart. Something hot and thick slaps against his weeping slit, and it takes Megumi's brain a second to catch up that that's Yuuji's dick resting against his cunt.
When did he even pull it out? Wait. When did he even put the rubber on?
"W-wait, Y-yu-yuuji—" Megumi's eyes widen when Yuuji rolls his hips, the tip of his cock catching on Megumi's still gaping hole, before he one hand wraps around the base to guide it inside. "—I just cameee—"
Yuuji buries his dick right in, straight to the hilt, balls slapping on soft skin. Megumi's eyes almost cross.
Yuuji leans back, savoring the view of his cock getting swallowed whole by Megumi's pretty little cunt. He rolls his hips, and Megumi keens when the tip presses plush against the entrance to his womb. "You think you'd get a pass from all those mean words you threw earlier?"
Then slap! Yuuji's four fingers, pressed together, snaps down in a cruel slap on Megumi's clit. Again.
Yuuji doesn't even let give him the chance to breathe as he starts a steady, cruel pace fucking into Megumi that has him sliding up the mattress every time Yuuji bottoms out.
Megumi sobs, gasping for air as his clit throbs. The muscles on his thighs clenches, tenses at the jolt of pain-pleasure coursing through his body. His hands scrambles to hold Yuuji tightly. "I'm sorry!"
"Shit," Yuuji groans, his hand raising to the air again before it snaps down. Palm connecting on the silky skin of Megumi's thigh next with another cruel slap! "You like that, hm?"
Megumi's answer is a choked sob and his walls spasming around Yuuji's length. Like it doesn't know if it wants to suck him in further of spit him out. It's exhilarating.
"Tightened—" A grunt, Yuuji adjusting himself to hover on Megumi and bending his lover further, pushing his legs up until both knees press against the mattress, hips rising from the bed, pleas of "W-wait, Yuuji!" falling on deaf ears as he restarts his cruel pace of fucking Megumi like he's nailing him straight to the bed, "—real—hah—good around me for a second there."
Megumi's throws his head back, eyes rolling to the back of his skull, pussy clenching tight and convulsing as Yuuji's thick, hard cock stretches him. Carving the perfect space for his cock, heavy head pressing hard on Megumi's g-spot and rendering him unable to form any words, each attempt turned to whorish sounds that feels like they came from someone else with how pathetic they are.
God, Megumi always feels so good. Like a hot, wet heaven for his dick. The way his lover grips him never changes from the first time they did this, until now. It's still addicting, god please, Yuuji wants to fill Megumi up to the brim with his cum.
Megumi would look so good, round and swollen with his kid.
"Yuuji," Megumi babbles, so out of it as he drools more every time Yuuji bullies his dick in him. "Yuuji—ah—love you! Hah—love you… so much!"
And hearing his lover like that is enough to push Yuuji to the edge, gripping Megumi by the chin and kissing him harshly. Buries himself deep, one hand slipping down to grip Megumi's thigh so hard he's sure it'll bruise, and the other rubbing circles over his clit.
Yuuji groans against Megumi's lips, grinds while still deep inside, edging Megumi closer and closer until he chokes out a scream, pulsing around Yuuji as he an orgasm is ripped out of him yet again, gushing and wetting his thighs and Yuuji's hips.
Yuuji cards his fingers through Megumi's hair. Humming a soft tune he got stuck in his head after the gym played it enough times. Megumi's on top of him, head resting on the crook of his neck. He can feel soft breathing, lips pressed against his skin.
"Yuuji."
Yuuji hums in acknowledgement. Waits for Megumi to choose his words.
"That man… from the gym…" He starts before burying his face on Yuuji's neck again, words muffled. "Is the same one… from the cafe."
Huh?
Ah! So that's why Satoru was apologizing about flirting with both of them.
Yuuji remembers it. Megumi mentioned around a month ago that there was apparently a creepy old guy that hit on him and asked for his number. At their favourite cafe, the one where he's obsessed with the strawberry filled donuts and Megumi enjoys the butterscotch latte.
"He is?"
Yuuji also remembers that Megumi turned the man down. Told Yuuji immediately about what happened as soon as he got home because he doesn't want to keep secrets.
Even if Yuuji has to push back the slight pang of jealousy in him, he still found it cute. While Yuuji wants nothing more than for Megumi to be his forever, it should be good for Megumi to have the outside reassurance that he's not some damaged goods nobody else other than Yuuji would want.
Yuuji feels Megumi nod his head, spiky hair tickling his chin.
"The one you said asked for your number?"
Megumi growls, unspoken 'don't ask' rumbling on Yuuji's skin it makes him giggle. "Megumi! The one you said was hot!?"
"Shut. Up."
Yuuji roars out a laugh, Megumi's head following the uneven rise and fall of his chest. "I should have been the one jealous! Why were you so upset…?"
Megumi clicks his tongue, then lets out his answer in one fast breath. "Because I turned him down and now he's flirting with you and I was scared you'd like him and then you'd leave me!"
Yuuji's hand stops petting Megumi's head, rests just above the nape of his neck. "But you know I'll never leave you."
Megumi bangs his forehead on Yuuji's shoulder, not hard but firm enough to drive his next words. "Yeah, I'm stupid."
"Do you… think he's attractive?"
Megumi raises his head and gives Yuuji an incredulous look. "I mean… I guess? I don't care though. You're the only one I need, Yuuji. Don't wanna replace you, you're the one I love."
Yuuji smiles. "Babe. You don't have to replace me."
"What?" Megumi's lips pull down to a frown. One that Yuuji wants to kiss away again.
"You remember Hiromi-san, right?"
"Yeah, that lawyer who helped you with the house." Megumi stares at him without moving. Then he suddenly pinches Yuuji on one side, making him yelp. "I'm still upset you never told me until it's over."
"Sorry, sorry," Yuuji says, for the millionth time for keeping the lawsuit about their house under wraps until he managed to shake off his great-uncle claiming the land. He did it so Megumi can focus on himself and his therapy. "But he told me about a case he's handling. He was drafting a contract between lovers. And when I asked, he said they didn't want to get married because there were four of them in the relationship."
Megumi's brows furrow in confusion, making Yuuji smile. He continues. "So, that got me thinking…"
Megumi's face scrunches up as he catches on to what Yuuji's going at. "Oh, hell no."
"Come on! We'll just… give it a try!"
Megumi completely disentangles from Yuuji's embrace. "A try!? Are you crazy?"
"It's not like Satoru meant to—"
"Satoru? First name basis, huh?"
Yuuji groans when his hand fell off Megumi's back. "I swear to god, Megumi I just put my dick in you to prove my love—"
"And you're disproving that right now with the bull you're spewing!" Megumi snaps right back at him. Yuuji sits up to be at eye level with his lover.
"Babe, you're my boyfriend. I'm not forcing you," He squishes Megumi's face between his palms to stop him from talking himself to another argument, then lovingly presses a kiss on his pouting lips. "But keep it in mind for now, yeah?"
Megumi just rolls his eyes.
Satoru isn't at the gym. He texted Yuuji, apologizing that he'd have to cancel the rest of their session and that he doesn't need to be refunded. That he needed to leave Tokyo for work and doesn't know when he'd be back. Yuuji thinks it's a sloppy excuse to avoid them after what happened.
It completely slipped his mind, while he was busy reassuring Megumi that he is not cheating, that Satoru could have very well been embarrassed by his mistake as well. So he never had the chance to clear up the air about what happened.
What comes as a surprise, however, is that after a couple of days, Megumi tells him something. They were in the kitchen, preparing meals for the week.
"He hasn't been at the cafe…"
Yuuji continues chopping vegetables. "Who?"
"That guy… Satoru…"
Something drops in Yuuji's stomach. And he doesn't like the bitter taste behind his throat. He sets the knife to the side and glances at Megumi who's sitting on the counter top. Megumi's watching him.
"You think he's avoiding us?" Megumi asks, looking at Yuuji with big doe eyes. "I mean, not that I care, but…"
"It's fine," Yuuji says, walks over to press a kiss on Megumi's forehead.
"You have his number." Megumi looks down to his feet dangling over the edge, swings them absentmindedly, avoiding Yuuji's gaze.
Yuuji tilts his head to the side. "I do. Why…?"
"I thought about it." Megumi's legs stop. He plays with the sleeves of the hoodie he nicked from Yuuji's closet. Takes a deep breath before looking up at Yuuji again. "Maybe… we can try. If you still want to, of course…"
Yuuji takes a second to process Megumi's words.
Then he's fishing for his phone in his pockets to call Satoru's number and the rest is history.
Most of Yuuji's firsts were shared with Megumi.
It used to be all. But apparently, there's a lot more set of firsts he can share with his lovers once Satoru came around.
And it isn't just firsts he shared. He never knew he could share the burden of his longing with Satoru. Didn't think that someone could understand his desire to start a family, have kids running around, raising teens.
That conversation with Satoru…
"I don't know," That was what Yuuji said when Satoru asked him why Megumi doesn't want to carry any children. The question hit him like a truck. But Yuuji can't really blame Satoru for asking. And now, he finally feels like he can share his desire for a family with someone who could understand.
And Satoru understands Yuuji's desire. But they both don't quite understand Megumi's aversion to carrying kids.
Yuuji knows that it's because Megumi has been through a lot. That it took so much more than a simple effort to overcome his insecurities and fears. But still, he never really knew exactly. Maybe it's because Megumi lost his mother when he was born, and it now terrifies him to think of it. Maybe he just doesn't want to lose to societal expectations that he loves to spit on so much when they were teens.
But whatever the reasoning is, one thing remains the same. And Yuuji's chest aches when he thinks about the things he wants… but will never have.
So he was overjoyed when Megumi said those words. A simple set of words that means the world to Yuuji.
"I'm not saying we should try for one right now,"
Yuuji's heart had skipped a beat. He held his breath. He looked at Satoru for grounding and saw the white haired man glancing back at him, just as desperate.
And at that moment, Yuuji felt like his pain was seen by one lover, Satoru comforting him with small glances, "But… I'm not as opposed to the idea as I was… six years ago," and relieved by another finally opening up to an idea Yuuji thought he'd thrown away years ago.
And when Megumi quietly confesses his fears? Yuuji finally understands. Satoru finally gets his answers.
All three of them finally step on the same page.
Yuuji doesn't have to cry alone in the bathroom again—grieving a future he thought would never be—whenever no one's home.
Since then, not much has changed. They still did the same amount of chores. Still spent time together on Thursdays. Still argued over bills before Satoru shoulders it, again. They cuddled, went out on dates, and savored each others' company when they find themselves with free time.
They still all had sex. And Yuuji feels so giddy thinking he doesn't have to wear rubber whenever he devours Megumi anymore.
The hallways seem to stretch on and on.
Yuuji struggles to breathe. Smoke rises up the air and blocks all light, the hallways an eerie, scorching path that seems to lead to hell itself.
"Yuuji, run!" His mother shouts. And Yuuji does as he's told. He runs until he reaches the front door, hands wrapping around the knob and ignoring the way his skin singes at the heated metal.
Then Yuuji throws the door open, expecting the cold uninviting night to wake him.
But instead, he sees a room devoid of color. Blinding lights disorients him for a moment, and when he comes to, the door slams shut behind him.
The sight in front of Yuuji renders him petrified.
It looks like a hospital bed, eerily similar to the one his grandpa died on. But there's someone else laying on top. Soft gasps and sobs echoes as he eyes his two lover.
Satoru, sitting next to the bed, hands holding Megumi's next to his face as he cries. White hair down and damp with sweat.
And Megumi, laying on the bed wearing a white hospital gown.
Yuuji's eyes studies his form and stops short when he sees red.
His feet seems to finally listen to him as he takes quick steps towards his boyfriends, only to see more red.
Red, pooling around Megumi's thighs, blood, dripping from the sheets to the floor, red, staining Satoru's hair, red, blood, bloody re—
Yuuji wakes up with a dread seated deep in his guts, entire body jolting to sit up and his hands flying to the left—to where Megumi always lays—only to find the spot empty.
What?
A flash of white lines and overbearing lights echoes behind Yuuji's eyes. Of red.
"Me—Megumi…?" Yuuji pats the empty space, as if his Megumi would appear from the shadows of he knocks on their surface hard enough.
Where's their Megumi? Where's is… where is he!?
"Yuuji," A voice calls, and Yuuji's head turns to the other side.
An ocean deep blue meets his gaze, and Yuuji immediately grips Satoru's nightshirt so tight, the glass of water he's holding spills to the bed. "Where's Megumi?"
"Calm down," Satoru wraps his own hands over Yuuji's trembling hold. "It's just a nightmare."
Yuuji has to physically grip Satoru's face and make him lean down so Yuuji can check, if there's any blood, bleeding, wound, anything!
But there's nothing. Satoru's fine, perfectly healthy.
"You're fine," Yuuji breathes out, then his eyes scan their entire room, sweating bullets because he can't find his—"Where's Megumi!?"
Satoru's eyes widen for a moment, realization dawning on him that it isn't the same nightmare that Yuuji always suffers from. Whatever it is, it seems to be much worse. He cups Yuuji's face with his hands, forcing the pink haired man to look at him. "I'm fine. Megumi's on his internship, remember? Away for six months."
Megumi's fine?
"Yeah, he's fine, want to call him?" Satoru offers, anything to calm Yuuji.
Yuuji only nods.
Satoru releases a short sigh of relief. "Okay, but drink some water first?"
Yuuji nods again, entire body starting to feel tired and numb as drowsiness makes itself know, but he can't sleep until he hears Megumi's doing well first.
Satoru helps him drink, then grabs his phone and dials Megumi's phone number. It takes a few rings, but Megumi eventually answers, voice deep. "'Toru?"
"Hey…" Satoru starts, but Yuuji reaches for his phone. He hands it over.
"Megumi!?"
There was a bit of ruffling on the other side of the call before Megumi speaks. "What're you shoutin' for?" A soft sigh. "Had another nightmare?"
Yuuji bites his lower lip, tears straining on the corner of his eyes. "Yeah."
"Same thing?"
It did start as the same thing. But Yuuji's chest tightens when he remembers what changed. The hospital room, the blood, the crying.
Yuuji feels Satoru shuffle closer to him, arms wrapping around his back to pull him in a hug. Yuuji lays his head on his shoulder. "I don't want to think about it."
"He was screaming for you." Satoru starts, but Yuuji glares at him and he immediately stops.
"It's just weird," Yuuji relents. "You're fine there, right?"
Silence, some sounds as if Megumi lays on his bed again. "I'm fine, I'll be back next week, Yuuji."
"I know," Yuuji closes his eyes, savoring hearing his lovers voice. Even if it's only over the phone. Proof that they're fine and safe. "Sorry. I woke you up, you need to rest."
"It's fine, need to be up in an hour anyway."
And Megumi tells Yuuji about the animals in the farm he's at, how they know when it's feeding time and gets super agitated if Megumi is late for even just a minute. Yuuji laughs at mental image of the horses neighing and sighing on Megumi.
Megumi tells him more stories of the guard dogs herding him as well as the chickens, and of the ducks that always tries to drive him away when he arrives at their territory.
Until eventually, Yuuji is settled back in bed, eyelids heavy as he listens to Megumi's daily life in his internship.
Satoru eventually plucks the phone out from his ears as he softly snores, lulled back to sleep.
"He's sleeping," Satoru runs his hand over Yuuji's hair, pushing it off his forehead.
Megumi grunts. "Must have been something worse than usual."
Satoru hums in affirmation. "He was panicking when he woke up. Looking for you specifically. Had my face turn all over checking for wounds and stuff. Seems to be a really bad nightmare."
"Think it's that bad? Maybe we should…" Megumi trails off.
Satoru studies Yuuji's sleeping form. "Convince him back to seeking help about it?"
There's silence again, then, "Yeah."
"It didn't work before but maybe it just wasn't a match, you know?" Megumi sighs. "I just… He deserves better than this."
Satoru chews on the inside of his cheeks, glances on Yuuji's sleeping form again. "I'll talk to him about it."
Creation is not necessarily death.
It has only been almost a month since he returned from his internship.
Megumi never thought he'd willingly die for love, but ever since he met his lovers, they could have his heart and he would personally break it in two and give one half to each of them.
Water drips from the faucet of the bathroom sink, the only sound around other than Megumi's shaky breath. He can feel the vibrations of sound coming from the TV still playing in the living room. Yuuji is down there. Satoru texted that he's already on the way home.
Megumi sighs, timid. Then he runs his hands up and down his face, then up again and pushes the hair away from his forehead wet with sweat.
Two daunting lines stare back at him from the counter.
Slowly, his hands roam from his hair, down to his neck, fingers tracing over the soft cloth of Satoru's shirt he hastily grabbed from their dresser, until they reach his—
Megumi pauses. His hands are trembling. His lips feel numb. His entire body is cold.
Then carefully, he cups over the soft fat just a bit lower than his stomach. And for a moment, it all feels like a dream.
Megumi snaps from his trance and grabs a ziplock from the cabinet, then bags the subtle stick carrying little proof of life.