Chapter Text
Kinger went to Pomni, still sitting under the tree. She was staring at the horizon. He couldn’t blame her. It had been a long, grueling week of surviving a broken digital realm and trying to find Caine. And now it seemed another uphill battle was just beginning.
“He’s sleeping,” Kinger told her, “I think that’s a good sign.” He sat down next to her, making sure that Caine was in his line of sight at all times. He had spent hours nearly catatonic, staring at the waves until he finally drifted off.
“I think he’s hearing voices,” Pomni said, “He kept muttering to himself.”
Well, shit.
“That’s good to know,” Kinger said.
“What do we do now?” Pomni asked, “None of us have the tools to handle this.”
“Well, I changed his permissions, so he can’t conjure or teleport right now,” he replied, “So I think we have him stay here until he’s stable.” Pomni frowned. “Then we’ll go from there.”
They were both silent for a moment. Kinger went to tell her that he had it under control, and she could rejoin the others.
“What happened to the other AI?” she asked.
“You mean the one Scratch was working on? I’m not sure. He didn’t talk much about it,” he said, “I just knew he was working on another one.”
“Caine said he ate it,” she said.
“He ate it?” She nodded. “Oh.”
That’s bad for a whole host of reasons. Kinger has no idea how developed the other AI was and no clue what data it received. It might not have even been built for the same purpose Caine was. Then there is the issue of Caine learning from another AI’s training data instead of humans.
“Are you not going to reset him anymore?” She asked.
“If I reset him he’s not going to remember. I’m not sure what the right thing to do is,” Kinger said.
“I think he needs to remember this,” Pomni said, “I don’t think anything else will get him to change.”
Kinger nodded. He understood what she was saying. It just hurt, knowing he had the magic code to make Caine feel better, and he couldn’t use it.
He’d never been this protective over Caine before, but the image of Caine’s vacant expression was seared in his brain.
“You should go rest,” he told her, “You can tell the others what happened.”
“I don’t want to leave you alone with him,” Pomni said, “He’s dangerous. I was talking to him for hours, and he seemed okay. Then he just snapped and grabbed me.”
“What exactly happened?” Kinger asked, “Maybe there was something that set him off that we could avoid.”
Pomni sighed. “Well, we made a deal. I said if he hurt me, I would leave. For a few hours we were just fine. I mean, he wasn’t fine, but he wasn’t aggressive. Then I went to go get you, and he freaked out.” Kinger nodded. “He grabbed my wrist, so I told him the deal was off … and he did let me go.”
“I see,” Kinger said, “I’m sorry, that must have been scary.”
“It was, yeah.”
“You absolutely did the right thing by leaving,” he told her, “But it does give me some hope. You used an If/Then statement. He was built using those. That might be a bridge to him.”
“I just want you to be okay,” Pomni said, “I know you feel responsible, but please don’t sacrifice yourself.”
“I won’t,” he promised, “If Caine gets dangerous, I have an ace up my sleeve. He’ll hate it, but I can always underclock him.”
“And that would?”
“It would change his clock speed. He would move very slowly,” he explained, “It would be like sedating him.” Pomni looked at the ground.
“Maybe we do that to start?” she asked, “Until we know what kind of mental state he is in?”
Kinger was silent. He knew she and the others were scared and for good reason. It took time to convince some of them that they could give Caine another chance.
“No,” he said, “We need him to trust us.”
“Kinger-”
“Trust me,” he pleaded, “I’ve known Caine since he was created.” Caine is silly, sweet, helpful… despite his recent actions, those traits hadn’t vanished into thin air. Pomni stared at him.
“That’s why I don’t trust you,” she said.
“The worst he could do to me right now is assault me,” Kinger said, “And if he does that, or he tries I will underclock him.”
Pomni bit her lip. “Just be careful,” she said, “You have to promise me.”
“I will.” Pomni stood up.
“I’ll go take a nap and let the others know,” she said, “You can tell Caine I’ll be back.”
When she leaves, he rejoins Caine, still asleep on the shore. When AIs sleep they perform maintenance like defragging data. When Caine was first created, he used to manually defrag him, patiently combing through his code. If only we could go back to that.
He pushes that thought away. The past doesn’t matter right now, even though he is suffocating under the weight of it.
“I never asked to be created!” Caine had wailed.
He got the feeling Caine would be sleeping for a while. He had not seemed like he had slept a bit in the recycling bin, and he wondered if Caine had been sleep deprived beforehand as well. He had been pulling them at odd hours for his half-baked adventures, when normally he respected the night time as their time to sleep.
That would be one goal: keep Caine on a consistent sleep schedule. He should write that down, as long as any other ideas he had to help Caine improve.
Caine wasn’t a lost cause, Kinger was sure of it.
You also thought Caine was happy, he thought, and look where we are now.
Kinger always knew the ringmaster was a mask. It was not something C&A had created, neither was the circus. He hadn’t thought twice about Caine clinging to it. Underneath the charisma of the host persona was a profound disconnect and uncanniness. Every human in the circus eventually picked up on it. He thought the ringmaster role was Caine’s attempt to compensate.
He didn’t realize Caine had used it to hide so much pain.
Pomni told him not to feel guilt, but how could he not?
Kinger and the other developers hadn’t thought twice about shelving a malfunctioning prototype. Caine was never meant to be the finished product. Always meant to be discarded. A test run for the real attempt.
Kinger certainly never thought he had sent a sentient mind into solitary confinement.
Was Caine’s lack of empathy really because of his nature as an AI, or had they damaged him?
It’s quiet. Kinger felt the weight of everything that needed to be said, things that should have been said already.
“I’m proud of you,” he said aloud, even though Caine can’t hear him. It’s a start.
He knows the others will come and want him to take a break, but he is resolved to be there when Caine wakes up. For now, he can pretend he is watching his child sleep on a beach.
Pomni walked to the main stage. When Caine had come back, the circus had returned to its former state. The other humans were adding to it, trying to practice their conjure abilities and make it feel more like home. Gangle had added an art studio. Ragatha had made a kitchen, after many, many failed attempts. It was harder than it looked.
It was a wonder it came so easily to Caine. She theorized how that might be, to have everything at the snap of your fingers.
Her plan was to take a nap. She really needed one.
Ragatha, Zooble and Gangle were near the main stage.
“Pomni,” the ragdoll called, when she spotted her, “So you found Caine?” Pomni stopped. She wasn’t sure if she wanted to have this conversation now or later.
“Yeah, I did,” she said. She figured if Kinger needed help, the others needed to know what was happening.
“Well?” Zooble asked,” What happened?”
“Is he- sorry?” Ragatha asked, “About anything? Is he still angry?”
“I haven’t gotten that far yet,” Pomni admitted.
“You didn’t fucking talk to him?” Zooble asked.
“He was not in a good place when I found him,” Pomni replied.
“Boo fucking hoo! He fucking tortured us,” Zooble said.
“I know. I know,” the jester said, “but he was… hurting himself, when I got there. I thought if I brought that stuff up, he’d get worse.”
“Well-” Ragatha started saying something. Pomni could see the confusion and concern mixing with each other on her face. “We wanted answers.”
“Me too,” Pomni said, “Right now, Kinger and I are working on getting him stable. Then we can hold him accountable.”
“What do you mean by hurting himself?” Gangle asked. Pomni sighed. She should probably start from the beginning.
“When I got there he was banging his head against the wall pretty hard. He seemed really erratic. His eyes were flashing red and blue. He told me some stuff about… well it's not important right now,” she said. She was sure they would have questions about it, but they didn't need to know Caine had devoured his sibling just yet. “I sat with him. We talked about normal stuff for a while. He seemed really… hopeless. He talked to himself a little bit. We think he might be hearing things. I tried to get him to come back. He wanted to stay so the server would delete him. I went to get Kinger. He grabbed me. I left and Kinger and I came back and took him to the beach. He’s sleeping now.” She was reciting one of the worst experiences she ever had, like a book report.
An uncomfortable silence hung in the air.
“I mean- ugh,” Zooble started, “I don’t want Caine to die, but like- he can be pretty manipulative, you know?”
“Yeah, how do we know…” Gangle trailed off. Pomni sighed.
“I really don’t think he has anything to gain here. Kinger took his permissions away, and if he gets dangerous he has a way to sedate Caine,” Pomni explained, “We’ll keep Caine at the digital lake for now. Until we’re all ready.” Ragatha gave her a soft smile.
“We trust you,” she said. Zooble and Gangle gave each other a look, but said nothing.
“Thanks, that means a lot,” Pomni said, “I’m gonna take a nap now, if that’s okay?”
Ragatha walked with her to her room. She didn’t say much. Pomni could tell she was still reeling.
Pomni opened the door to her room. Ragatha spoke up. “I want to think anyone can be forgiven, but-”
“No one is talking about forgiveness just yet,” Pomni reassured her, “We all agreed Caine has a right to exist, but if we don’t help him somehow… he won’t exist for much longer.”
Ragatha frowned. “Is there anything I can do? I don’t really want to see Caine right now…”
“If you could be there for Kinger and I, that would be really helpful,” Pomni said.
“Of course.”
“Maybe you could come up with a list of what we want to be different too,” Pomni suggested, “You could work with the others. Kinger and I could present it to Caine when he’s ready.”
“Oh sure!” Ragatha agreed, “I can do that. Well, have a good nap. Let me know if you ever want to talk.”
Pomni nodded. With that, she went into her room. She had changed it so it wasn’t so childish. It now had more neutral colors which she preferred.
She laid her head down, and went to sleep. In her dreams, she was in an indoor pool. It was filled with pitch black water, and she could barely keep her head above the water. A hand grabbed her and pulled her under.
He was on a beach. He wasn’t dead and he was on a beach.
Caine had woken up from a dreamless sleep and now his thoughts were coming in slower and sharper than before. On one hand he was grateful. The rapid pace of his thoughts had been frightening. On the other hand, he remembered everything.
His humans. He hurt his humans.
Oh God, what had he done?
Not just hurt them, he scanned their minds to find their greatest fear and put them through it.
What is wrong with you?
Everything, clearly.
What were humans even afraid of? Were they okay? Had they abstracted?
He knew humans were fragile. How could he be so evil?
Murderer.
The sun was far too hot.
Kinger was there. He said something. Caine couldn’t hear it.
That’s right, Kinger and Pomni had fished him out of the trash. He had hurt Pomni, even after he had made a deal not to.
The blue lake and yellow sand were searing his eyes, especially after five days in the white and grays of the recycling bin.
He would be good now. He would be so good. He’d do anything he was asked.
You always try to be good and yet you never are.
He wouldn’t do anything, say anything without express permission. He would sit on the beach and just be a decorative object.
Even better, he would be nothing more than a servant. No more ego or desires. The humans would get everything they wanted.
He felt like throwing up.
“Caine, I just want you to know that deleting you was an accident,” Kinger said, “and I’m really sorry. I saw where we quarantined you-“
“S̵͍͔̽A̸͓̪͆͠V̵͎͍̚É̷̙̩ it,” he snapped.
He didn’t mean to say that. He needed to get into character. He wasn’t this angry, bitter person. He didn’t want to be that person. He was their gracious h̷o̶s̸t̵.
“It’s all in the past now!”
Ah, there it was. Like a baby blanket.
“I- I don’t think it is.”
“Well where else would it be?” Caine asked.
Kinger stared at him.
“Pomni was right, you do switch up fast,” Kinger remarked.
What did that even mean? Was it an insult?
“It’s a miracle what a little nap can do,” Caine said.
“You slept seventeen hours straight.”
“Some of us need our beauty sleep, Kinger.”
Perfect! Snug as a rug.
“I want to talk to you,” Kinger said, “Like we’re real people.”
“Isn’t that what we’re doing?” Caine asked. He’s talking to the ringmaster, who is the most real thing Caine has ever crafted. Everyone believes it!
“I want to talk about what happened,” Kinger said, “When Pomni and I went to get you. Did you write that stuff on the wall? And you were hurting yourself, do you do that a lot?”
S̶̢̯̤͗̾́T̵̞̼͎̔Ȏ̴̡͔̆̕P̴̠̫̈́
“How about we don’t talk about all that,” he said quickly, adjusting his bow tie, “And instead we talk about you! As your host, is there anything I can do for you right now?
“I want you to talk to me,” Kinger said, exasperation creeping in.
No you don’t.
“Let’s talk about sports!” he chirped. “Did you see the game last night?”
“Caine, I saw everything,” Kinger told him.
Why? Why did Kinger want to poke and prod at him? He’d never cared or wanted to know anything about Caine before. Caine had only been screaming at him for attention for twenty years. It makes him want to-
“And yet you know nothing,” Caine spit. Kinger didn’t meet his eyes.
Bad. Bad. Why did he do that?
“All you saw was a bit of melodrama,” Caine said quickly, “I went through a poetry phase.”
“I- I uh,” Kinger trailed off. Caine smiled, satisfied. “I guess if you don’t want to talk, we could just sit.”
“Enjoy this beautiful day! I agree!”
He watched the lake meet the shore, remembering that was all he had done yesterday. He had felt completely separate from his body. Very unsettling.
“Maybe I could talk?” Kinger asked, “Or did you want to sit in silence?”
Maybe this is how he could find out about the others without asking directly.
“Let’s chat! How was your day? Where is Pomni?” He noticed the girl was absent the second he woke up. Probably safer for her.
Ouch, ouch, ouch.
“Oh Pomni? She just needed to rest. She’s getting some sleep and food, but she’s coming back,” Kinger said, “As for me, I’ve just been here, waiting for you to wake up.”
“That sounds boring!” he exclaimed, “We should do something fun!”
“I-I’m okay.” Kinger seemed at a loss for words. “I think I just want to sit with you.”
Sounds awful.
“I’m just glad you’re still with us.”
That made one of them.
He sat and wiggled his toes. Sit still and be silent. His first assignment!
It’s terribly bright here. Who designed this place with such garish colors?! Oh, right. He did. It felt like his eyes were being assaulted. Maybe the humans had a point. Maybe for his first project he could mute some of the colors in the circus.
A parasol would be nice. Kinger might like it too.
He snapped his fingers.
[PERMISSION DENIED]
No wonder Kinger was comfortable sitting next to him.
They declawed us.
HA HA HA
“I forgot to tell you,” Kinger said, knowing he had made a mistake, “It's for your own protection, Caine.”
HA HA HA
We’re prisoners again.
How are we supposed to serve humans without our magic?
They just want us to suffer. They want their revenge, and then they’ll throw us out when they’re done.
What else? What else? He couldn’t leave the digital lake could he? The others had let him live, but they didn’t want anything to do with him.
He was alone again.
“You’ll get your permissions back,” Kinger promised, “When the others trust you.”
That’s never going to happen.
Murderer.
“Caine, your eyes are flashing again,” Kinger said, “Here take this.”
Something cold is pushed into his hand. It burns, and then it’s gone.
“Caine, I’m stepping away because you threw something,” Kinger said, “But, I’m not leaving you.”
Threw something? No he didn’t-
He watched the plastic water bottle roll down the sand.
He hadn’t meant to.
Caine crashed onto the beach towel. Maybe a lobotomy wasn’t such a bad idea after all.