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Those lips were the softest thing she had ever tasted.
Shinobu was having a good time with Mitsuri in her bed. Since the Love Hashira lived alone, her place was far more convenient than the Butterfly Estate. Don’t get her wrong, Shinobu loved her home, but it was always full of prying eyes and loose tongues. Not exactly the ideal place to spend intimate time with her lover.
Shinobu’s head rested against Mitsuri’s bare chest as her fingers gently traced along her abdômen, savoring this moment as if it were their last.
Because it probably was.
The final battle against Muzan Kibutsuji was approaching.
She felt it deep in her gut.
And not only that.
Her self-sacrifice plan was already in motion… the plan she hadn’t told her lover about, and probably never would.
Shinobu was too much of a coward to break Mitsuri’s heart like that.
Leaving before facing the consequences was way easier.
But to be fair…
All gods, deities — whatever — had witnessed how hard she had tried to keep her distance, how fiercely she had resisted.
Yet Mitsuri’s persistent warmth melted away her cold walls, and more than that, Shinobu found herself chasing that warmth until she was lying beneath the Love Hashira’s covers, finally understanding why Mitsuri bore such a title.
“A penny for your thoughts.” Mitsuri pulled her back to the present, capturing her lips once more in an unhurried, lingering kiss.
Shinobu will miss her lips the most… or perhaps her strong, calloused hands… or maybe her shining emerald eyes…
No… Shinobu would miss all of her equally.
She loved all of Mitsuri, her sweet Mitsuri, who dreamed of building a family with her one day.
And sometimes – just sometimes – the Insect Hashira allowed herself to dream about it too. That they would grow old together, somewhere peaceful, surrounded by their grandchildren, maybe even a dog with them. They would tend a garden – not for poisons, but simply to grow beautiful flowers together.
Mitsuri deserved a future like that more than anyone else.
Because to keep dreaming of a happy life in a hopeless world as theirs was the bravest act Shinobu had ever witnessed.
Shinobu wished she could be that brave. Instead, she was about to make the most selfish request of all.
“Can you make me a promise, darling?”
“Sure.” Mitsuri replied in a heartbeat.
“You haven’t even heard it yet, and you already agreed? What if I asked for your head, hm?” Shinobu teased, a playful chuckle escaping her lips.
“I’d deliver it to you on a silver platter.”
“Oh, we’ve got a sappy one here.”
Mitsuri laughed it off, but in truth, she would do anything for Shinobu. She held the Insect Hashira on a pedestal deep in her heart.
And Shinobu knew it.
She tenderly cupped Mitsuri’s cheek, her thumb brushing over the warm skin. The little dots beneath Mitsuri's eyes were so adorable.
It was far too easy to lose herself in admiring the Love Hashira.
But her expression slowly grew melancholic.
She had to ask… Only with Mitsuri’s promise could she face death in peace.
“Swear to me you won’t die before I do.” Shinobu whispered, almost pleading.
“Wh—what do you mean?” Mitsuri stuttered, her brows knitting in concern.
“That I can’t live in a world without you.” Shinobu simply said, as if it were the most obvious thing.
Mitsuri fell silent, letting those words settle in her mind. She understood what Shinobu was asking – and it was no small thing, especially for a Hashira, when you never know if you’ll live to see the next day.
Honestly, offering her head would be easier.
But Mitsuri knew her lover better.
Witnessing the loss of another person she deeply cared about was Shinobu’s greatest fear. Even death itself paled beside the thought of enduring that kind of grief again.
And Mitsuri would never let that fear consume Shinobu.
Never.
“I promise.”
She gently took Shinobu’s hand and pressed it against her chest, letting her beloved feel the steady beat of her heart to show how sincere she was.
Shinobu was so taken aback by the gesture that the words slipped out under her breath.
“I love you.”
Then they drew closer and kissed again, basking in each other’s warmth until they were finally overtaken by exhaustion.
The next day, they fell into the infinity of Muzan’s castle.
Shinobu couldn’t believe she had survived.
Somehow, humanity had won.
She was alive.
And so was Mitsuri, asleep in the bed beside her own.
But their wounds went beyond the physical, reaching the emotional as well. Forcing Shinobu to face the consequences she had intended to postpone until after her death.
For the first time in nearly twenty years, she was completely unprepared.
For the first time, she had to face her feelings for what they were.
“I’m sorry.” It was a start.
Mitsuri had been silent the entire way from the infirmary to the garden, and now they sat together on a bench beneath the shade of the Victory tree.
The Love Hashira let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and Shinobu could feel the weight of her disappointment in it.
“What hurts the most…” Mitsuri began quietly, “Is that you made me swear to something meaningless… something you had already decided on your own.”
Her voice trembled at the end, yet she forced herself to continue.
“If you were planning to… do that… then why ask me this? You said you couldn’t live in a world without me… but you’d let me live in one without you?” Her emerald eyes held nothing but betrayal. “That was so unfair.”
Indeed, it was.
Mitsuri didn’t deserve that.
The least Shinobu could do was be honest in her defense, if there was any defense at all for what she had done.
“Because I’m selfish.” Shinobu admitted. “I know I’m asking too much of you, and I’ll understand if you can’t give me anything more. I’m not just asking for your forgiveness… I’m asking you to accept this part of me as well.”
Mitsuri’s tears only fell harder.
And Shinobu felt her own vision begin to blur.
She was truly selfish.
Mitsuri might never forgive her. In truth, she shouldn’t.
But Shinobu had to try.
Because even that promise had been a trap.
The reality hadn’t changed.
Shinobu couldn’t live without Mitsuri, not in this world or any other. She needed the Love Hashira in every way. Especially now, after surviving the worst fight of their lives, almost unscathed and with a bright, demon-free future waiting for them.
“I… I need time, Shinobu.” Mitsuri managed between quiet sobs. “Just… time to think.”
Shinobu pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.
Despite how upset she was, Mitsuri didn’t pull away.
“Thank you.”
Mitsuri had always been kind enough to listen, and now she was kind enough to consider giving Shinobu another chance.
No matter how long it took, Shinobu would wait.
Patiently.
On Mitsuri’s thirtieth birthday, Shinobu formally asked for her hand.
They had already been living together in the Love Estate for nearly ten years. They had never felt the need to label their relationship, nor any urgency to go through a ritual like marriage.
They were happy as they were.
Or so Shinobu thought.
Until one day, she caught Mitsuri lingering over a pair of rings in a shop window.
But honestly, it had crossed her mind long before.
There had been an incident at a small village festival, a man had tried to flirt with Mitsuri, arguing that since she wore no ring, she must be available.
Mitsuri had to restrain Shinobu to stop her from tearing the man apart.
Men and their twisted assumptions.
Even if Mitsuri were available, it didn’t mean she’d ever be interested in someone like him.
But back then, Shinobu just let it go. She knew how painful talking about marriage was for Mitsuri, how deeply it was tied to old wounds.
Still… Mitsuri wanted it.
And if Mitsuri wanted it, then Shinobu wanted it too.
So she bought the rings.
After an afternoon visiting Mitsuri’s family, Shinobu led her outside at nightfall.
The night sky was filled with stars, the moon shining brightly – the perfect setting for a romantic gesture.
Shinobu knelt before her, delicately sliding the silver band onto Mitsuri’s ring finger.
“Mitsu-”
“Yes!”
Mitsuri immediately pulled the smaller woman into a tight embrace, lifting her off the ground in pure excitement.
“You didn’t even let me finish… I mean, I didn’t even get to start!” Shinobu couldn’t stop laughing.
“Sorry!” Mitsuri said, though she didn’t sound sorry at all, gently setting Shinobu down as her burst of energy faded.
“It’s alright. That’s more than enough for me.” Shinobu chuckled lightly.
Then she pressed her lips against Mitsuri’s, the taller woman’s arms still wrapped around her waist.
“I’ll always be grateful you gave me another chance.”
“Gosh, Nobu… that was so long ago. Are you still thinking about it?”
“I know I’m difficult…”
“And that’s why I love you.” Mitsuri leaned in to steal another quick peck from her lips.
“You don’t have to lie. I already put the ring on your finger.” Shinobu teased, though deep down, she hoped Mitsuri truly meant it.
Because her life with Mitsuri felt too good to be true, Shinobu feared that one day she would wake up as her old Hashira self and realize that everything they had was just a dream… that this fragile reality could dissipare at the slightest breath of wind.
“It’s true.” Mitsuri murmured, nuzzling against her hair. “I love every part of you, Shinobu. Even the ones you think are bad.”
Mitsuri's voice softened at the tip of her ear.
“They’re what make you… you. So of course I’ll love them too.”
“You really are the sappy one.” Shinobu said softly as a wave of happiness washed over her.
For the first time in her life, she felt more than satisfied.
“You don’t have to go.”
“If I don’t, they’ll send you instead. I won’t allow that.” Shinobu spoke firmly, but her voice remained gentle.
“It’s not fair… we gave everything to fight the demons without their help, and now they expect us to fight for them?” Mitsuri’s indignation was evident in her voice. “And worst of all… against our own kind.”
“I know, but don’t worry, Mitsu. I’ll just stay in the back line to tend to the injured.” Shinobu tried to calm her wife, though in truth her words were meant to reassure herself as well.
They had heard about this new weapon that had struck her country.
It seemed the damage it caused was as bad as, if not worse than, anything demons had done over the years.
The news frightened her to the bone, but the thought of Mitsuri having to face it was even more terrifying.
The government was short on people and ended up calling on anyone still available, even former members of an occult organization that no longer existed.
While Shinobu was preoccupied with what awaited her, she didn’t notice Mitsuri slipping away and returning moments later, holding a familiar white garment.
She had taken great care of it, a keepsake of a dear friend long gone.
“At least take this with you.” Mitsuri’s tears streamed down her face as she gently draped Shinobu in her old haori. Shinobu leaned into the soft fabric, breathing in Mitsuri’s lingering scent. It soothed her instantly.
“Something to remind you of our family.” Mitsuri added, her hands still resting on Shinobu’s shoulders.
“As if I could ever forget.” Shinobu replied playfully, though the sadness of the moment remained.
Farewells always carried a bitter taste.
Then they noticed their daughter sneaking up from the doorway, and it was unclear how much of their conversation she had heard.
How do you even explain to your ten-year-old daughter that you’re leaving for a war you didn’t want to fight?
“Atsu, come here, sweet. Your mother and I need to talk to you.” Mitsuri called gently.
“Mom will have to leave, right?” The girl asked hesitantly, her expression turning sad.
“Yes.” Shinobu’s voice faltered for the first time. Even in that single word, the weight of her departure felt as heavy as the packed bag in her hand.
“Please… come back safely.”
The request from her daughter brought back old memories, memories of Shinobu saying those same words to Mitsuri whenever the other woman had to leave for the most dangerous missions.
Shinobu was grateful their daughter had inherited Mitsuri’s kindness and emotional awareness. In her place, she knew she would have been angry, blaming the world for taking yet another loved one away.
“I will.” Shinobu pulled them both into a tight embrace, not wanting to let go.
But she had to.
It seemed as if they were always condemned to fight. Even so, Shinobu would give her life without a second thought if it meant keeping her family safe.
When Atsu turned twenty, she brought a friend home to meet her mothers.
Her name was Oyuki.
Atsu said they had met in a shamisen class in the city and that she wanted Oyuki to help her improve her playing, though Shinobu suspected there was more behind it.
She and Mitsuri watched from afar as the two girls interacted, sharing their love for music. The sparkle in her daughter’s eyes only confirmed her hunches.
“It seems our daughter is using the same tactics you used to win me over.” Mitsuri’s sweet voice caught her attention.
“What do you mean?” Shinobu asked, feigning innocence.
“You were almost as flexible as I was, remember? Then you suddenly asked me to teach you ‘combat techniques’ to help you improve that trait.” Mitsuri’s eyes gleamed with mischief as she remembered those old days.
“But as you said… almost. My request made sense.” Shinobu tried to defend herself, though she knew she was failing miserably.
“Sure it did. But then your true intentions became clear when you started showing off your moves. That’s when I realized that you just wanted an excuse to spend time with me.” Mitsuri couldn’t help but laugh. “You were always so prideful, Nobu. We would have saved some time if you had just asked me out directly.”
True, her younger self took too much pride in being independent and maintaining an untouchable air. If she were the same as before, Shinobu would have turned away, avoiding eye contact with Mitsuri; she used to hate being embarrassed. But now, after all these years, there was no point in hiding anything.
Also, it wasn’t as if she ever could.
She simply smiled and turned to meet Mitsuri’s gaze, those emerald eyes now lined with delicate wrinkles. Still, the passage of time had never dimmed their brightness.
“Well, you can question my methods, but not my results.”
And then she stole a quick kiss from her eternal lover.
“You’re unbelievable.” Mitsuri said, pulling her closer as they listened to their daughter play.
“I hope we meet each other again in our next life.” Mitsuri murmured, resting her head against Shinobu’s.
There was a time when Shinobu wanted to believe in an afterlife, that one day she would see Kanae and her parents again. But she knew it had been only a comforting illusion for herself. Now, living her life with Mitsuri, she couldn’t imagine any afterlife being better than this.
But she didn’t want to ruin the moment by disappointing her wife, so she just agreed.
“Me too.”
Mitsuri had always felt blessed to reach her sixties with her mother still alive.
That was true until last week.
Mrs. Kanroji passed away peacefully in her sleep, in the warmth and comfort of her bed.
Mitsuri was sad, yes.
But at peace.
Her mother had lived a long and fulfilling life, and she had lived long enough to complete the natural cycle of a daughter burying her own parents.
She embraced her brothers tightly, taking the chance to catch up after their time apart. Their mother would have been happy to see them reunited again.
Shinobu stayed by Mitsuri’s side the entire time, as always.
She too was shaken.
Mrs. Kanroji had been the closest thing to a mother figure she had known since the beginning of her relationship with Mitsuri. But she held herself together for her wife’s sake.
They offered their prayers, hoping for a peaceful passage for her mother, and then went back home.
On the way back, Shinobu’s thoughts escaped as words. They came quietly, but still loud enough for Mitsuri to hear.
“Time is passing so fast…”
Mitsuri stopped in her tracks and met her wife’s reflective gaze.
“Nobu…” Mitsuri gently took her hand. “Time is always passing the same way. It’s just our perception that has changed.”
“Still… it makes me uneasy. That soon…we…”
She couldn’t finish.
“Love, those were the same thoughts I had every day fighting demons.” Mitsuri said, tucking a grey strand of white hair behind Shinobu’s ear. Her wife had changed her hairstyle over the years, wearing it down just because Mitsuri liked it that way.
The purple butterfly pin now found a place in Mitsuri’s head, along with her now shorter hairstyle.
“Rengoku once told me, ‘Growing old and dying is what gives meaning and beauty to the fleeting span of a human life.’ ” She tried to mimic her old master's enthusiasm. “Since then, I knew I wanted to live it all with you, one day at a time. So, my dear, don’t worry. When our time comes… it comes.”
“Rengoku… sometimes he was an airhead, but he was still pretty wise.” Shinobu smiled fondly, remembering their former comrade.
But the smile flickered, thinking back to how Rengoku had left them so soon.
Shinobu was fortunate to grow old.
In fact, she ended up fulfilling Kanae’s wish…
…Kanae.
She no longer remembered all the features of her beloved sister, only her silky hair and the pins in her hair. But she still had her butterfly haori neatly stored in her wardrobe; she intended to gift it to Atsu soon.
Mitsuri was right.
As ever.
There’s no point in overthinking something they can’t escape, something set since the day they were born.
The only purpose of life is living it.
At the same time, it was terrifying and, yet, freeing.
Shinobu felt a strange, quiet sense of relief. Mitsuri’s ability to soothe her never faltered in these moments.
“You’re right. Thank you, Mitsu.” She leaned into her wife, placing a tender kiss on her temple.
“You’re always welcome, my love.”
“Then you plant the seeds here, and water them. In a few months, they’ll bloom.”
“ Months?! Are you sure, Granny? That’s so long…” Junpei complained.
“You’re always so impatient.” Kiku said with a sigh, scolding her brother.
“And you’re always so nosy!” The boy shot back.
“Alright, alright.” Shinobu laughed, trying to ease the tension. “Let’s go eat some cookies your grandmother baked.”
“Yes!” they both shouted, rushing inside the house.
She stayed in the garden for a moment, her gaze drifting to their dog as he enjoyed his usual morning sunbath.
“Aren’t you coming?” Shinobu lowered her head, looking at the dog. He lifted his head in curiosity, then shifted his body to enjoy the sun more comfortably.
“I will take that as a no.” Shinobu petted his head and then went inside as well.
Her grandchildren was already devouring their lunch.
She smiled slightly and went to the living room.
Mitsuri was there, singing along with the phonograph. It was the same foreign song she had been listening to for almost a month.
She had grown fond of trying to translate the lyrics, becoming even more attached to them with each new meaning she uncovered.
“Oi, Nobu!” Mitsuri greeted her with a smile.
It had been almost fifty years since she first saw that smile, and it still carried the same sweetness and warmth as it always had.
“Did you figure out the meaning of the song?” Shinobu asked with genuine curiosity.
“Yes.” Her eyes shone with excitement, as if a brilliant idea had just popped into her mind. “Let’s dance it together!”
“Oh, darling, are you sure? You didn’t have a backache yesterday?” Shinobu teased.
“Nobu! Don’t be mean…” Mitsuri laughed. “Come on, take my hand.”
Shinobu took her hand and kissed it. She couldn’t help but gently caress her eternal lover.
Eternal for as long as they lasted.
Then the song started. Shinobu recognized it as bossa nova. The foreign rhythm had become popular in pubs and stores across Japan. It sounded a bit like jazz, but it held something else.
Something unique.
Mitsuri began to sing the song softly into her ear, translating it so she could understand.
I know that I will love you
For all of my life, I will love you
In every goodbye, I will love you
Desperately, I know that I will love you
Mitsuri tightened her hold around her waist as Shinobu rested her chin on her shoulder, and they continued to sway gently to the calm rhythm.
I know that I will cry
In every absence of yours, I will cry
But every return of yours will erase
What your absence has caused me
Shinobu then closed her eyes, letting Mitsuri’s chant carry her mind back through the moments they had shared, the happy ones and the sad ones. And Shinobu wished she could live them all a thousand times again, over and over, without changing a thing.
And each verse of mine
Will be
To tell you
Then Shinobu pulled back a bit to meet her lover’s gaze.
Though their eyes carried the weight of time... Whenever they found each other, the same shine from the old days immediately returned.
As if they were falling in love for the first time.
That I know I will love you
For all of my life
The song ended, and they stayed in each other’s arms.
Only the buzzing of the phonograph in the background.
They didn’t need to say anything.
The faint beating of their hearts and the passionate look in their eyes spoke volumes. Because sometimes even the words ‘I love you’ weren’t enough to express how much you cherished someone.
In her eighties, Mitsuri fell ill.
She wanted to spend her last night at home with her family.
Shinobu stayed by her side all day. She tried to be strong, to act carefree, as if it were just another normal night.
But they both knew better.
“I am sorry, Nobu.” Mitsuri’s voice was weak. “I couldn’t keep my promise.”
A promise made so long ago, one of the few things Mitsuri still remembered from that time.
‘Swear to me you won’t die before I do.’
Shinobu couldn’t hold herself together anymore.
She really didn’t want Mitsuri’s last image of her to be her crying, but she couldn’t help it.
“It’s ok.” Her voice was trembling. Shinobu was never good with goodbyes. But in truth, she didn’t see it as a goodbye, just a ‘see you soon.’ “We will meet in the next life, I am sure.”
It earned Mitsuri a weak, soft laugh, followed by a cough. “I thought you didn’t believe in such things.”
“I didn’t, until you changed my mind. My love for you, Mitsuri, isn’t enough for just one lifetime.” Shinobu was resolute. “No matter what, I will find you again, and again I will do my best to make you fall for me.”
“Look who is the sappy one now?” Mitsuri faintly smiled, trying to cup Shinobu’s face. Unfortunately, she didn’t have the strength to reach her lover.
But Shinobu didn’t let her down.
The former Insect Hashira caught her hand mid-air and brought it gently to her lips.
“You don’t have to try so hard, Nobu. Falling for you comes the easiest.” Mitsuri whispered. “Thank you… for everything.”
Shinobu would usually retort and joke, but this time she simply accepted Mitsuri’s words into her heart.
Then they just kept talking about the old times, about the people they had met, about everything, until they fell asleep together.
The next morning, Atsu found her mothers holding hands.
Mitsuri was no longer breathing.
Just like Shinobu.
I know that I will suffer
The eternal misfortune of living
The waiting to live by your side
For all of my life
She thought she would be too late, but when she reached the classroom, she realized she was actually half an hour early.
Mitsuri still couldn’t believe she was starting her first semester of architecture. She took a seat, waiting for her Calculus I class to begin.
She was excited but a bit surprised to learn she would have to take such a hard subject.
“Man, I chose architecture just to run away from all this math stuff, but it seems I was so wrong…” She spoke out loud, mostly to herself.
She was about to take her materials out of her backpack when she heard someone respond to her comment.
“Yes, indeed. I would be mad too if I chose a more creative field and ended up doing crazy math.” A girl with black hair tipped in lilac said to her.
Mitsuri was immediately stunned. A feeling of déjà vu struck her hard, as if she had known the woman standing before her her entire life. And from the look in the brunette's eyes, she seemed to feel the same way.
“Can we share this desk?”
“S-sure.” Mitsuri moved her backpack, making space for the other woman to sit beside her.
“I’m Mitsuri, by the way.”
“Nice to meet you, Mitsuri. My name is Shinobu.”