Chapter Text
“Why did you expel father?”
Laxus always remembers the conversation he had with his grandfather that day. He remembers the anger, the betrayal, how the older man can't seem to meet his eyes, how Gramp obviously hides something from him.
Laxus sometimes hates being his father's son.
Ivan Dreyar, a young Laxus remember, always went on and on about power, about how he was so disappointed Laxus didn't turn out the way he wanted. And Laxus despite disappointing his father, he will train, he will fight, he will learn more of his magic just to get better, get stronger, so his father won't be disappointed anymore.
But younger Laxus is weak.
Laxus might be young then, but he never missed the pitying eyes of the town folk, how they whispered and muttered when they thought he couldn't hear them.
Such a sickly child.
How is he so weak if Makarov is his grandfather?
To think the grandson of a wizard saint would be like this….
Laxus hears all the whispers, the sneers. And he hates it.
That's why he was glad when his father had done something to him, happy even.
Oh, but it hurts. It really hurts.
The feeling of his brain getting picked apart. The coldness of metal trapped his limbs, the sharpness of the blades tearing his skin apart, the sound of flesh ripping, blood pumping, it hurts, it really hurts.
But that's what it takes to get stronger, Laxus.
For the first time ever, Laxus feels strong; he doesn't feel weak and pathetic anymore. So Laxus truly doesn't understand why Gramp has expelled his father from Fairy Tail.
After all, aren’t they family? What is the point of family if Gramps can just kick out anyone who disobeys? What is the point of Laxus trying to get stronger to be worthy of the role he one day would bestow upon?
Is this the true meaning of power? You can do whatever you want? Is this what power always is?
And when he asked, the old man just turned his back, refusing to answer.
Laxus' new power has come with a few setbacks. Everything is more sensitive: the smell, the noise, the headache, the numbness.
He can hardly stand being in the guild hall now; the stench of alcohol and smoke makes him gag every time. He can hardly walk the streets of Magnolia without his headphones; the noises alone made him want to rip his ears off.
It took Laxus a lot of time to control his new power, but he’s glad he has it.
And he hates it.
As expected of Makarov's grandson!
Of course you can handle that with ease, you are a Dreyar after all.
Phenomenal performance, I’m sure your grandfather will be proud.
Laxus hates being Makarov's grandson.
He is Laxus Dreyar.
He is Laxus.
He wants to be Laxus.
Sometimes, Laxus doesn't know what he wants.
Does he want to be a weak child with health issues? That still looks at everything with wonder and starlight in his gaze? Or did he want to be strong and make his father and Gramp proud? Does he even want this power?
Laxus sometimes longed for the child he used to be.
Who adored his grandfather and Fairy Tail. Who watched with wild eyes and big smiles at the Fairy Fantasy Parade. Who world is only big enough for the people he loves.
Laxus loves that child.
But he also hates it.
He is Laxus.
Not Ivan's son.
Not Makarov's grandson.
Just Laxus.
—------------------------------
Laxus hates days like this.
Everything is just too sensitive, too loud, too awful. Even the calming scent didn't help; even his headphones seemed like they had stopped working.
With the guild now having more children than ever, where did the old man even find all of them? And they are a wizard guild, god dammit, it is not safe for children to hang around here.
The ruckus is always here at Fairy Tail; the banter of children, the yelling between adults, the sound of chairs smashing against the wall, the table crumbles under Mirajane's feet, and Erza's sharp armor clanking as she fights. Natsu and Grey-those two specifically- were always the loudest, whenever they’re around, his soundproof room ceases to block out the commotion, the overstimulation.
So he ran.
He ran into the forest, where nothing but wind whispered and the chill, cool air brushed his skin. But that's still too much.
Laxus buried his head in his knee, his hand clapping tightly against his ears, magic sparks uncontrollably around him. Anything, please, just made all this go away.
“Onii-san?”
Is someone calling for him? Laxus can't tell? Everything is too much, it's too much, toomuchtoomuchpleasemadeitstoptoomuchtoomuch.
“Onii-san, oh my god, what do I do, what do I do….” Someone whispered, he can feel them now. Someone, a child, right next to him. Their breath is fast and panicked, and he can smell the sweat off of them, can taste the salt of their tears in the air. Why are they crying?
“Onii-san, please breathe with me,” The child-a girl- spoke, her breathing still erratic, but it was very close to his ear.
“In… hold it.. Two..three..four..five, out…”
Laxus tries to mimic her, inandout, in and out, i n a n d o u t .
“You doing good, onii-san…”
“In… hold it.. Two..three..four..five, out…”
His regained steady breathing seems to calm the girl too, as her breathing became less and less frantic, and more steady and slow.
“Onii-san, can you hear me…?” The girl whispered, and Laxus couldn’t respond, too focused on his breathing.
“Oh no, what do I do now?” The girl sounds like she's gonna cry. “Specto-san told me about this. Why can't I remember what she said?”
“Onii-san, please respond…”
It took Laxus a few seconds to respond, and he didn't want the child to be any more upset.
“Ye-yeah…” His voice was hoarse and rough, but the girl lit up. She cheered quietly, but the sound still made Laxus whine.
“I– I'm sorry, onii-san, but um…. can you look up please?” Laxus complied with her request.
Everything is…… blurry. All Laxus can make out is the green and brown of the forest, and a golden figure immediately catches his eye. The little girl's voice hitched slightly, obviously nervous. She whispered.
“Onii-san, can you hear me?” Laxus nodded again, the obnoxious bright lights shining into his daze, making him shut his eyes once more.
“Um… can you, can you name five things you can see?” Laxus opened his eyes again, and there was a shadow looming over his head. The little girl braided her fingers together to create a shade for his eyes.
“Your hands, your hair, the trees.... The sky….” The child's hand falls over his eyes. Laxus flinches.
“No, no, Specto-san said you shouldn't look far away.” She breathed with him. “Let's try again onii-san, but only things that are close.”
Laxus breathed in, then opened his eyes again after the kid took her hand off of his. He could see a little better now.
“Your hair, your dress, your stuffed animal, the rock under your feet, your shoe….”
She lifted her hand and patted Laxus's back lightly.
“Umm, what next? What next? F-four things you can touch?”
“The grass, the sand, the pebbles, the tree trunks…”
“You doing good, onii-san!” She cheered; the sound didn't make Laxus flinch anymore. “Three things you can smell?”
“Vanilla, strawberry, and mud.” Where did the strawberry and vanilla even come from?
“Okay, okay, you did very well onii-san. Two things you can hear?”
“Birds, your voice…”
“And one thing you can taste?”
“The blood on my lip…” Laxus chuckles. During his panic, he has bitten down so hard that his lip is now a bloody mess. Alarmed, the little girl tried to wipe the blood trickling down his chin away.
Laxus finally has a chance to look at his savior. The little girl looks no more than 9 or 10 years old, or even younger, judging by how skinny she looks.
Her hair is a golden color that matches his, her eyes are brown, hazelnut-like, like honey, his mind supplies. There is a trace of tears mark on her cheek, and Laxus hopes he is not the cause of those tears.
She is wearing a pink frilly puffy dress with a white lily pattern, a big brown bow wrapped behind her back, matched with a pretty pink shoe with the same bow color. In her arm is a white bunny stuffed animal, a little dirty.
Adorable. Is all Laxus can think of.
“Onii-san, are you okay?” The little girl asks, half her face is hidden behind her bunny, obviously shy now with the teen's attention all on her. Laxus notices how her hair is standing up a little, obviously because of his magic. He helped pat it down, making her hair smoother to the touch.
“Yeah… thanks to you, kid.” Laxus thanked her, but was a little alarmed. “What are you doing here?” They're in the middle of a forest, far away from Magnolia, not too far, but far enough for a kid to wander.
Was she taken from her parents? Kidnapped? Is someone looking for her right now? Her parents? Caretaker? Or a kidnapper? Laxus growls, not under his watch.
“U-um, Celia is supposed to watch me, but I can't find her.” Laxus doesn't know who Celia is, but he knows the kid is lying. Laxus eyes her a little bit, but he drops it.
“I can bring you back if you want.” He offered, but not now, his knees are still a little too weak to stand right now.
“U-um, onii-san, does that happen to you often?" She tried to change the subject, and Laxus let her.
“Yeah, it does.” He tried to give her a reassuring smile, but Laxus was not sure what to do with a child like her. She does not like those brats in the guild, loud, annoying, and rowdy. Even the younger, more polite ones like Levy and Lisanna sometimes have their irk moments.
The kid in front of him seems softer, quietly spoken, shy, and sheepish.
“That looks awful.” She commented, still alarmed by his bloody lip. Laxus tried to wipe or at least licked off as much visible blood as he could.
“And you seem awfully familiar with it.” He commented. “That usually is not a good thing.” A child this young shouldn't be familiar with anything like that; it leaves a bitter taste in his tongue. Or it's just the blood, who knows?
The little girl is quiet after that, her head lower as her lip trembles, and Laxus panics for a second. Did I make her cry? Fuck! I didn't mean to! The fuck do I do now!!!
“Wha-what is your name, girl?” Laxus blurted out the question. Trying his best to sound cheerful. “My name is Laxus, Laxus Dreyar.”
Realizing he has unintentionally given away his identity as Fairy Tail guild master's grandson, Laxus winces quietly. Fuck!
“Oh! Um, I'm Lucy.” She shyly stuck out her hand, and Laxus took it, shaking it lightly. She didn't give a last name, Laxus noticed. And she didn't realize his last name, so she must be new in this town, or she only visited here.
“Hi, Lucy, thank you for saving me.” He said, honestly and truthfully.
Lucy blushed; she waved her hand frantically.
“No, um, I’m just trying to help based on what Specto-san has told me. She is the one to thank…”
“No, kid. Your Specto-san may tell you it, but you're the one helping me.” Laxus reassures her again; he doesn't like her insecurity. “You’re the one I give my thanks to. So thank you, Lucy.”
Lucy blushed, tightening her grip on her bunny.
Cute. Laxus smiles. Is this what it feels like to have a little sister?
He might understand what Mirajane and Elfman are onto now. They are always going on and on about how cute their little sister is, but Laxus once saw Lisanna screech at the top of her lungs cause she didn't get the cupcake that she wanted. So he believes their opinion might be heavily biased.
“Alright,” He stood up, his tall and lanky body towering over her like a giant, making Lucy stumble back a little. “Let's get out of this forest, it’s not good for you to be in the woods alone.”
Lucy looks far up at him, for once, Laxus realizes how tall he actually is. Doing something he had never done before, Laxus bent down and offered his arm, silently asking if she wanted to be carried.
Lucy hesitated for a second, but stepped into his embrace nonetheless. She is very light, Laxus notes. But he can't tell if this is normal for a kid her age or not, since he actually never carried anyone before.
After shifting her weight in his arms a little so Lucy could sit more comfortably, Laxus started making his way out of the forest.
For a moment, they just enjoy the silence; the serenity of the forest, the slight brushes between the trees, the small chirps of birds. Everything around seems more peaceful now. Lucy leaned closer into Laxus, dropping her head on his shoulder.
“I'm sorry, Laxus-san…” Lucy said meekly. Laxus blinked. Where does this come from? Also, his name sounds wrong coming from Lucy; he preferred Onii-chan more.
“What's for?” He asked.
“I lied.” She said weakly, as if afraid he would scold her. “I know where Celia is. I was running away from her.”
“Is she—-” Thought ran through Laxus' head. Was she kidnapped? Is Celia a slave trader? Child trafficker? Laxus can help Lucy look for her parents. If her parents aren't around anymore, Laxus can take her to Fairy Tail. There are too many children there anyway; Lucy would fit right in.
“No.” Lucy shakes her head, easing Laxus’s worries a little, only a little. “I was looking for Papa, and I thought if I followed him here, he would be happy to see me.”
Tears began to fill Lucy's eyes. Laxus kept silent, unsure what to do or say.
“Bu-But Papa doesn't seem to be happy at all, and he yells at me….” She cried, a small, pitiful sound coming from her. Laxus is tightening his grip on her. “So- so I ran away, I- I thought if I went missing, Papa would look for me, waaaaaaa!!!”
Lucy's sobs got louder as she trailed off her rambling, unable to stop her tears from falling out of her brown eyes.
Laxus panicked; the sound of her crying was too much, in a different way. It's rare for him to feel this angry, to feel truly connected to someone he just met, but seeing Lucy crying in his arms, the only thought Laxus can think of is. I'm gonna punch that motherfucker.
“Lucy, listen….” Laxus stopped near a large rock, setting her down so he could look the crying child in the eyes. “I haven't known you for long, but you are the sweetest child I have ever met. And I grew up with a lot of them, so I know.” He stopped, then continued.
“You helped me, a stranger. You don't even know if I'm going to harm you or not, yet you still helped, nonetheless. You have a good heart, Lucy. I would hate to see you cry, so please, don't. Okay?”
Lucy stopped wailing, tears still in her eyes, and hiccupped slightly.
“I can't really comfort you about your…. father. Since I have my own demons to work out, but I can be here in Magnolia whenever you need a shoulder to lean on.” Laxus patted her head. Lucy leaned closer into his touch, and her sobs quieted down.
“.... do you have a lot of siblings?” Lucy asked, Laxus blinked, unsure where this came from. “You said earlier you grew up with a lot of kids. Does that mean you are their older brother?”
“Ah, no?” Laxus said hesitantly. “I grew up with them, but we are not blood-related.”
Lucy sighs, enjoying the scene of the forest.
“You're a good big brother. I wish I had an older brother, but it is not possible.”
“You can have a younger brother,” Laxus suggested, engaging in the conversation.
“........” Lucy shook her head, so Laxus dropped it. An idea popped into his head. The idea was so ridiculous that Laxus never thought he could be capable of coming up with that. But the world leaves his mouth before he can even stop it.
“I can be your big brother.” Mentally slapping himself in the face, Laxus paused when looking over at Lucy. She looks at him with such wide and wondrous eyes, like he hung the fucking moon and it was the best thing she has witnessed.
“Really?” Lucy asks, her voice is hesitant, wary, but full of hope and wonder. Laxus swallows the lump in his throat, maybe…. This isn't so bad after all.
“Really! I can be your big brother if you can't have any.”
The sparkle and joyous glistening in Lucy's eyes make it all worth it. She lets out a loud giggle, her hold tightened around his neck, and she squeaks wonderfully.
“That's amazing, Laxus-niichan!!!”
Laxus blushed as Lucy babbled on and on about how much she loved to have an older brother; he nodded along. Turns out, this ain't so bad after all.
.
.
.
“Nii-chan, you say you grew up with a lot of children, can I know more about them?” Lucy asked.
“Hmm.” Laxus hummed. They were halfway out of the forest, probably about 15 minutes or so before they reached Magnolia. “You would hate hanging out with them.”
Lucy gasps dramatically, clutching her rabbit. No matter how many times he sees it, that’s cute!!!
“How come?”
“They’re loud. Very loud. You wouldn't wanna meet them.”
Lucy tilted her head to look at Laxus.
“But I can be loud too. Ahh!” Lucy opened her mouth and yelped. Honestly, her yell just sounded like how the kids at Fairy Tail talk. “Like this?”
Laxus chuckled.
“No, louder.”
Lucy increased her volume.
“AH!”
“Louder!”
“AHHH!!!”
“More!”
“AAAHHHHHH!!!”
“That’s just the regular yelling the other children do.” Laxus patted her head. Lucy looked genuinely concerned and troubled.
“My throat hurts, and they yell like that normally?” Lucy rolled her fist, determined to train her vocal cords so she can be like the children who grow up with Laxus-nii too!
“Yes, and you shouldn't try to copy them.” Laxus snorted. “I can barely handle them, don't know how Gramp did it.”
“Gramp?”
“Yeah…” Laxus’s eyes cast down. “The kids like to call him that; he’s my grandfather.”
Lucy gasps.
“So I have a grandpa too?” She clutched his neck tightly. “That’s wonderful, I only know about them in pictures, now I have a real one!!!”
Laxus cringes. Lucy's family sounds quite…small; probably only her father is left. He thinks about the old man and goes back to Lucy. Gramp would love to meet her. Laxus fondly smiled.
“Nii-chan, looks!!”
Lucy cheered, she pointed to somewhere on his left.
Laxus turned, and saw ... .his guild standing tall and proud. Fairy Tail.
“That’s Fairy Tail!” Lucy whispered in his ear, she giggled. “I want to join Fairy Tail when I grow up!”
Laxus’s heart skipped a beat, happiness ran deep in his bones. He smiled fondly.
“Yeah? Why Fairy Tail?” Laxus expected something that he usually heard from kids, like; It's the strongest guild, or I see them in magazines, bla bla bla. But Laxus didn't expect Lucy's answer to be this.
“Because it’s the kindest guild. A nee-chan risked her life to save mine.” Lucy raised her right hand and ogled it under the sunlight. Laxus already knew where she wanted her future guild mark to be. “I think if Fairy Tail is full of mages like her, then it's a wonderful guild to be a part of.”
Lucy beamed, Laxus had to choke back a sob, and he smiled.
“That’s wonderful, Lucy! I heard only wizards can join Fairy Tail. Are you a wizard?”
“Of course I am!” Lucy giggles. From her white bunny, she unzipped the hidden zipper on its back and pulled out a small pouch. “I’m going to be a Celestial Wizard, just like my mom!”
Laxus’s eyes widened as Lucy pulled out 2 golden keys from the pouch. He didn't know much about spirit keys or Celestial keys, but he knew any summoning item that‘s gold is expensive.
But, how Lucy manages to get those keys isn't his business. Laxus just feels so damned proud that Lucy's dream is aligned with his. Feeling playful, Laxus jokes.
“Then I will count on you to protect me in the future. Oh, master of spirits.”
“Of course I will, nii-chan!!!”
Lucy squeaks, wrapping her arms around his neck. Laxus bites back a smile. Once she is old enough to join Fairy Tail, he’ll surprise her. Imagine her shock, seeing him not only a member, but the future Fairy Tail master.
Laxus now has so many things he needs to do. He has to beat some manners into those jungle and ruthless kids; he can't let them overwhelm Lucy when she joins. He has to make it to S-class, too. If he’s the strongest in the guild, then he can protect Lucy. He can help Gramp make the guild stronger? Maybe snipping off some competition? Phantom has been annoying a lot lately. Laxus heard they harassed some woman from Fairy Tail, can't let that happen to Lucy.
Suddenly, Laxus realized he had so much to do.
.
.
.
“Nii-chan!” Lucy cheered as she ran up to Laxus. Her maid? Helper? Caretaker? Nervously running behind her.
“Miss Lucy, please be careful."
Laxus bent down to pick the girl up, even though he had only met her a day ago; the motion already felt familiar to him. She’s wearing a blue puffy dress today, decorated with little sunflowers and white frilly ribbon at the hem of her skirt. On her head is a beige straw hat, decorated with rows of silk flowers.
Cute. Laxus smiled. If he can rub Lucy in Mirajane's face, he will.
Get that demon. My sister is cuter than yours!
“Let's go on a picnic!” Lucy beamed. Laxus finally noticed the little basket in her hand.
“La, Laxus-san…” Panting after running and failing to catch up to a literal child, Celia offers Laxus a meek smile. The young woman was in tears and shambles yesterday when Laxus returned Lucy to her. “Ple-please take care of Miss Lucy…”
Laxus nodded, still feeling a little absurd at how easily the caretaker just gave Lucy to him. Like, isn't she supposed to be a little more worried? More cautious? What if he just ran off with Lucy? He will, don't tempt him. What’s Celia gonna do about that?
Laxus can't help but frown. Why is everyone in Lucy's life so unreliable? First, he thought it was only her dad (Laxus hasn't met that guy yet, but his fist is ready in case he does), and now even her caretaker seems untrustworthy.
The faster Lucy joined Fairy Tail, the better! Laxus decided. Maybe 17, 18? Usually, they preferred adults, like 20-21 years of age. But Fairy Tail seems to be dominated by young children, Laxus forgot it's not normal for teenagers to be in a wizard guild.
“Nii-chan?” Lucy questioned, tilting her head. Laxus shook his rambling thought away, smiling at her.
“Let go then, have you seen the sakura forest, Lucy?”
The girl shakes her head, stars sparkle in her eyes.
“No, but I heard a lot of stories about them!!!”
“Well, you’re in luck. In a few nights, the sakura trees will fully turn rainbow, marking the start of the Blossom-Viewing Festival.”
“Whoa!” Lucy bounced in his arms, excited. “I can't wait to s–”
Suddenly, her mood goes sour, and her tiny body slumps in defeat.
“What’s wrong, Lucy?” Alarmed by her sudden mood change, Laxus asked.
“I can't see the rainbow sakura trees with you.” She answered weakly. “Papa is done working, and we have to return home today.”
“Today?” But there's so much to do. Laxus hasn’t shown Lucy the famous white lily river, the canal on strawberry street, the night market…. There's so much to do with so little time left.
“Yes…” Lucy casts her eyes down. But once she looked up again, her eyes were filled with hope.
“B-but Papa sometimes would come back here, whenever he does, I'll go with him! We can meet more! So, let's enjoy this morning together, okay?”
Part of Laxus knows Lucy is trying her best to be optimistic, so who is he to make her disappointed?
“Of course, Lucy. I know just the right spot in the Sakura Forest.”
“Let's go then!!!”