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Teaching is the greatest optimism.
Colleen Wilcox
+++++++++++++++++
In hindsight, maybe I shouldn't have kept this from Rocky.
But it's not like I tell him everything. Just a lot of things. Most things.
Okay, pretty much everything.
And by that I mean everything which might not actually be all that healthy if you think about it. But I guess that’s what happens when you spend four years of your life on a cramped spaceship with no one else to talk to. Stratt had the right idea with the coma. The only reason I didn’t lose my marbles on the flight to Erid was Rocky’s supereridian patience with my babbling and his unending curiosity about everything concerning earth and Ryland Grace. If I hadn’t had him as a sounding board the isolation and the monotony and the stress would have driven me insane. More insane. So is it any surprise that I might have been oversharing from time to time, telling him stuff I have never told anyone, not even to myself in my own head? I think not!
And I was at a disadvantage from the get go, let’s be honest. I've always been a yapper, ever since I could talk. Maybe even before that. I think the first words I ever heard from my parents were “Can't you shut up for five minutes?”
Another thing I (over)shared with Rocky and which had made him endearingly angry on my behalf. It also meant that he’d gone out of his way to keep me engaged and talking every time I fell into one of my ‘moods’ which in turn made me feel a lot of emotions that made me babble even more and… yeah.
Fun times.
So Rocky knows pretty much everything about me. Maybe even more than I know about myself since my brother from another solar system has an uncanny ability to read between the lines so to speak.
Since we have arrived on Erid I've tried to reign it in, honest! He has Adrian now who deserves his full attention and all the other Eridians who want to pick his brain about the mission and what he experienced out there. Rocky can't spend all day listening to the human he brought home chewing his nonexistent ear off.
But it's hard. Every time Rocky visits me in my dome there is still that kneejerk reaction of wanting to tell him every thought I’ve thought and every idea I’ve had since we last saw each other. It helps that he isn’t the only one with more obligations now. I too have a lot of curious visitors vying for my attention nowadays. Scientists asking about earth, engineers consulting me about the dome and doctors monitoring my dietary needs. They keep me busy most days and help a lot with the separating anxiety I have been experiencing.
But it's simply not the same.
They are not Rocky.
But the schedule they are keeping me on is pretty light compared to what it could be. They are still not completely happy with my overall condition and so they are giving me a lot of time and space to recover between meetings. Considering that they live about ten times longer than I do they have a very different idea of “giving someone time”. No matter how hard I try to explain that I can take it, that I don’t need a 24 hour rest period between every single meeting, they are surprisingly stubborn about it. Probably because Rocky threatened them with bodily harm if they broke his human.
So I have way too much time on my hands and have taken to wandering aimlessly through my dome every time Rocky is not available to distract me from the boredom that threatens to overwhelm my tiny, brittle mind.
You’d think being on another planet would be the opposite of boring. You’d only be correct for the first couple weeks, though. Everything is new then and everything is amazing and it still is, don’t get me wrong. But a factor all those adventure and sci-fi books about first contact never have to deal with is my unique situation which is that I’m completely alone on this planet.
Let me rephrase that: I’m the only human here.
Back on earth I didn’t mind being by myself with only my own thoughts as company. I fondly remember many (ok, not so many, my memory is still not what it used to be) moments of sitting in my classroom, long after school had let out, to grade some papers, enjoying the silence and the play of the light on the ceiling. A good night for me meant sinking into my couch with my favorite chinese takeout and a good movie. None of that ever made me feel lonely.
But I think even just the possibility of a kid wandering in because they have a last minute question or Marissa calling if I want to meet up for dinner and some gossip about old colleagues had a lot more impact than I thought.
None of that is possible here on Erid. Every personal interaction has to be planned days in advance. The dome is an engineering masterpiece but entering and leaving it is a nightmare. Maybe my experience with Rocky’s tunnel has made me complacent. It felt so easy and effortless back then, for Rocky to hop into his ball and come on over. But the dome is another ball park entirely. A small space ship is not the same as a giant fish bowl and the logistics are a nightmare. On top of that I have come to realize that Rocky is a bit of a daredevil compared to the others of his species. Apparently there had been a million and one ways his little stunt of connecting our two ships could have gone wrong, something he told me he knew but also kind of figured was a risk he had to take considering the circumstances. I wanted to be mad at him when I heard about that but it’s not like I can argue with his logic.
And it’s not like I don’t know that the years of solitude before the Hail Mary came around were hell on him. How can I be angry at him for wanting connection with someone else so badly he didn’t care about risk assessment at all and just went for it?
But his colleagues are a lot more cautious which is a good thing, honestly. Our atmospheres are just too different. Even a little of mine escaping or a little of theirs getting in could get a lot of people killed very quickly. No one wants that so the procedure to come in here is… complicated, to say the least. Everyone wants to be extra careful so passing the airlock takes up to an Eridian hour and leaving almost longer. They only come in here in person when it’s absolutely necessary and never just because.
Everyone except Rocky of course. My friend drops by every day, not caring that it takes up a big chunk of his time. I feel pretty guilty about that to be honest. That is time he could spend with Adrian or the rest of his family. Fortunately Adrian seems to have taken a liking to the leaky space blob their partner has brought home and accompanies Rocky a lot of the time. But they can’t always be here because they are busy making the dome more user friendly. They are actually working hard on making the airlock more efficient. They are confident that they can get the process down to a few minutes instead of hours but that will take time. No matter how often I try to tell Rocky that I’ll be fine and he doesn’t have to suffer the process every day just to come visit me my friend just won’t hear it.
Probably because he knows I’m lying.
So. All that to say, I’m alone and bored a lot of hours in a day. Which is why I’m sitting in the sand near the observation deck hours before my scheduled meeting with Eridian doctors to discuss my meal plan for the next few weeks. I was kinda hoping that some of them might already be here but the other side of the xenonite wall is empty. I should have known better. The Eridians are very busy, they don’t have time to hang around and sit idle.
Not like I do.
The observation deck is what I have named the little area where I have my daily (and only, dang it) meeting with the Eridians that have been tasked with my care. When I got to Erid I was a mess but now I’m well enough that they don’t have to check up on me in person every day and to bypass the airlock problem they installed a small meeting point where we can converse with each other without them actually having to enter my dome. It is built into a cave-like structure and it’s basically just a big window where the xenonite is as thin and see through as they could safely make it. It means we can hear each other through it without having to shout. There is even a handy built-in translator near the ceiling even though we only need it anymore to translate my words into the Eridian language. The years with Rocky have made me pretty much fluent in Eridian.
So I’m sitting in front of that window, in the sand. Waiting. There is enough time to go back to the house and take a nap but that feels like a defeat and I actually don’t want it to become a habit for me to take naps whenever I’m bored. I don’t think that would lead to anything good.
I try to keep busy by staring at the waves and finishing the coffee (or the closest thing Eridians were able to manufacture for me) I have brought. When my eyes start to water from the artificial breeze and I realize that that’s not actually keeping busy but just disassociating, I turn to the sand to do something with my hands instead. I’m telling myself that I’m building structures and training my dexterity, keeping those fingers nimble and preventing arthritis and whatever else I can think of.
I’m playing with sand. That’s all it is.
I snort a little at myself but whatever. No one is around to judge me and even if they were, the Eridians would probably find it fascinating. They don’t really have sand like this on Erid. Their first few attempts at imitating it got me all those big boulders because they misjudged the size.
I’m in the middle of forming the second tower that will be part of my epic sand castle when I see movement out of the corner of my eyes. Someone is on the other side of the observation window. I look up, expecting to see one of the scientists or maybe even Rocky since he likes to drop in on my meetings as often as he can to spend even more time with me. They have given up on trying to stop him ages ago. Rocky is not just bossy with me, it seems.
But it’s actually much too early for the meeting and so I’m not really surprised to find the other side just as abandoned as it was when I got here. Weird. I could have sworn I saw something move over there. Before I can turn back to my sand project there is another movement and this time I catch what it is.
A tiny Eridian.
I rub my eyes (saying 'Fudge!' under my breath when I almost rub sand into them) and lean forward but nope, not a hallucination. It’s a teeny, tiny Eridian, maybe as big as my head, claw to claw. Not even, I’d guess. They are a bright blueish color and their carapace is a bit more round than oval like Rocky’s.
They thrill a high sound that doesn’t get picked up by the translator which means that it has no clear meaning. Like when a human gasps or sucks in a deep breath. It actually sounds a little like that. The small Eridian tries to hide behind some equipment the other scientists left behind. They stay there for a second and then dart out as if to run away but when they notice that I’m now staring straight at them they scramble back behind the stuff and hold very still.
A child, I realize with a start.
That’s a child!
“Hey,” I call and then wince when my voice sounds too rough, too loud. The kid squeaks again. I was about to get to my feet but abort the movement at the sound. After a second’s hesitation I decide to stay low and crawl closer on my hands and knees. I’m keeping myself as small as I can and stop a few inches away from the xenonite wall. I wait but the little pebble (I think that’s what Rocky called the children of his people) doesn’t show themselves again. It takes me much too long to realize that they don’t have to peek around the corner to see if I’m still there. They can see through walls, just like Rocky. I smile and hope they can see it and know that it's a friendly gesture.
“Hey there,” I try again and this time I’m keeping my voice really low and calm. It’s my teacher voice, the one I use for shy and scared students.
Used.
The fact that I haven’t had to use it for years and it still comes to me automatically almost knocks the air out of my lungs but I have to schedule that crisis for another time. This is not about me, it’s about making sure the little pebble doesn’t die of fright from the scary alien. “Hi, I’m Grace. It’s alright, you don’t have to be scared.”
The translator is thankfully always active and I can hear the accompanying musical notes getting my message across. The little pebble jumps in surprise which I can only see because the top of their carapace briefly appears above the obstruction. I bite back a laugh and wait patiently. The biggest mistake you can make with a scared child is overwhelm them with too many questions or a barrage of reassurances. Kids don’t need all of that, they need time to process and come to a decision and they need you to be there in case they need a little help along the way.
I don’t think it’s much different for Eridians.
I stay on my hands and knees for a few minutes while nothing happens. My back is starting to cramp but I don’t want to scare them with unnecessary movements. Just when I start to contemplate slowly lying down on my stomach the kid finally leans around their hiding place. I realize that they are doing that for my benefit and smile involuntarily. Are all Eridians this damn sweet? I thought I hit the jackpot with Rocky and his ability to tolerate my human idiosyncrasies but I’m starting to realize that this whole species is just extremely patient and attentive.
“There you are,” I croon and slowly sit back on my butt. Oof. That’s better. I cross my legs and rest my hands on my lap.
The Eridian twitches but then steps out further.
“Not scared,” they say and gosh, their voice is high pitched and adorable. Definitely a kid. Pretty young too, if I had to guess.
“Good. Nothing to be scared of here. What’s your name?”
They sway from side to side and I recognize this from Rocky when he’s trying to make up his mind about something.
“My name is ♫♬♩♬♩♫♬♩.”
It’s a long name and it sounds very pretty. I nod along as if I understand but as I was sitting back I had sneakily grabbed the keyboard that had been half buried in the sand behind me. It is connected to the translator and we haven’t had to use it in weeks. Thankfully it still has charge and the connection holds. I pause for a second, trying to think of a name. I want to keep it gender neutral. Rocky doesn’t mind that I’ve assigned him he/him pronouns in the heat of the moment and he carries them with a certain pride now, as the only Eridian to have them. But I know that Eridians don’t have genders like us humans do. This kid won’t ever know if I’ve given them a very masculine or feminine sounding name but it still feels wrong.
I can tell the pebble is growing a bit nervous with my continued silence so I quickly highlight the name they just told me and feed the replacement “Sam” into the translator. Not very original but it will have to do.
“Nice to meet you, Sam!”
Sam crouches down for a second and then straightens up immediately. They come closer, a few tiny tippy steps at a time. Gosh, they are so cute.
“You are not scary at all,” they say, almost accusingly. “You are squishy!”
I laugh a little and Sam rears back at the sound then scuttles even closer as if to compensate. They are a curious and brave little thing. “Rocky tells me that all the time.”
“♬♩♬♫♬♬♩♫♩ said you are a scary space monster and you will eat us all.”
“Who is that?” I try to keep my voice relaxed although my heart skips a beat. The Eridians have been nothing but sweet with me. I have asked Rocky if there are any problems or animosities I should be aware of because I can only imagine all the little alien hating fractions that would form on earth, preaching the end of the world or Eridians as the harbingers of doom should Rocky have come with me instead of the other way around. But Rocky had assured me that everyone on Erid is excited and happy that I’m here. Was I too naive to believe him?
“My older sibling.”
All the tension leaves my body and I can’t help but snort really loudly. Sam jumps in surprise and then apparently tries to mimic the sound which makes me laugh even harder.
“Alright. That explains it. I’m afraid your sibling was pulling a prank on you, Sam.”
Sam comes even closer to the xenonite. If there wasn’t a barrier I could reach out my hand and touch them. All that fear and apprehension seems to be forgotten. Guess I’m too squishy to be scared of. “They do that a lot! They are mean a lot.” They sound just like any other of my kids who would complain to me about an older sibling and I breathe easier than I have done in months. Maybe even weeks. This feels so familiar.
“Yet here you are! Facing the scary space monster all on your own. That was very brave of you. I bet your sibling could never do that!” They preen at my compliment and jump from claw to claw in excitement, waving their little jazz hands around. I do the jazz hands too and they dance even more. I’m so charmed by them that my own words only register with a delay. “Wait! How are you here, actually? How did you get here?”
Admittedly I don’t know how it looks beyond the darkness on the other side of the xenonite. Only a small part of it is fitted with lights so I can see my visitors. Everything beyond that is pitch black. But I kind of assumed that it was a locked room or something. Or at least a fenced area that not everyone could walk into. Least of all a little pebble.
Sam waves the question away with a movement that reminds me so much of my kids on earth that I need a second to banish the memory. “I am sneaky.”
I flounder for a moment. That… doesn’t really answer anything at all. “Listen, maybe you shouldn’t come here without your parents. I don’t think they’d like that.”
“Grace don’t tell!” Sam pleads and puts a claw up against the xenonite wall. “Please!”
Can Eridians have the equivalent of puppy dog eyes? Is that a universal thing in all children, no matter the solar system or species? It shouldn’t be possible but I feel a strong urge to agree to everything this little pebble asks of me. Dangerous stuff.
“Ok, I won’t tell, but-”
“Amaze amaze amaze,” they shout and I wonder where they picked that up. “What is that?”
My eyes follow their pointed claw rapidly tapping the glass it had been pressed against just a few seconds ago. I think they mean the abandoned sand castle. “Oh. Uh. That’s just… I was just messing around with the sand.”
“What is “sand”. Never seen sand before.”
“Sand is a material composed of finely divided mineral particles.” I can’t tell if Sam understands what I mean so I take up a bit of it in my hand and let the sand tickle through my fingers right in front of them. They tilt their carapace and intensely watch the tiny particles fall. “It’s about the grain size, see? Sand grains are smaller than gravel and coarser than silt.”
I take up some more sand and spread it over my palm. “Usually, well, that’s how it is on my planet at least, rocks erode over a long period of time, mainly by water and wind, and their sediments are carried downstream. These sediments continue to break apart into smaller pieces until they become fine grains of sand. Like these.”
“They are very small,” Sam agrees and points to my sand castel. “How does sand stay up like that?”
I grin and tell Sam to wait while I go grab my coffee mug. I run to dip it into the water that is fortunately not boiling today, just a bit warmer than comfortable, and come back to the window where I dump the water on the sand in front of me. Sam trills in surprise and then loafs down so they can watch closely as I gather the wet sand together and form a little ball out of it. “While dry sand is loose, wet sand is adherent if the proper amounts of sand and water are mixed. The reason for this is that water forms little "bridges" between the grains of sand when it is damp due to the forces of surface tension.”
“Surface tension?”
“Yeah, look.” I run to get some more water in my cup and come back winded. My health is still not a hundred percent but I’ve never felt more energetic. I also can’t seem to stop grinning. “Look, at this.” I tear out two to three of my hairs and let them fall into the mug. They swim on top of the water. I try to think of an easy way to explain this phenomenon. Eridians know about molecules and stuff but how much does Sam know yet, as a pebble? When does their education start? “Surface tension is like an invisible layer on top of the water caused by water molecules holding tightly to each other. They hold so tightly because there is nothing above them to hold onto so the molecules pull inwards and create this strong layer. It allows light objects to float.”
Sam makes a sound that the translator funnily enough translates as “Cool” and I nod.
Yeah. Very cool.
We spend at least an hour like this. Me explaining something, prompting Sam to ask a new question leading us down another rabbit hole. It’s fun. The most fun I’ve had in a while. I have to explain a lot to the Eridian scientists but this is different. This is not just explaining, this is discovering something new together. Sam’s excitement is contagious. I find myself thinking about child friendly experiments I haven’t thought about in a long time and how I could recreate them on Erid.
By the time I glance at the clock and realize that the meeting will start soon I’m unreasonably reluctant to send Sam away but it’s better that no one knows that they were here. Not only would Sam probably get in trouble (and I’ve grown very fond of my little scholar) I would probably too. I don’t think I’m supposed to entertain a little pebble without letting anyone know that they are here. That’s something a responsible adult wouldn’t do and I can just see Rocky and Sam’s parents getting very cross with me. I wince.
Hopefully they haven’t launched a search party for the little troublemaker yet.
“Time to go,” I say and point to the Eridian clock on their side. “There will be lots of adults here soon and you don’t want to get in trouble, do you?”
‘You don’t want to get me in trouble, right?’ is what I’m not saying but I think Sam might get my meaning anyway. They jump from side to side in a giddy fashion and do the jazz hands again. “This was fun.”
My heart grows warm and fuzzy at that. “Yeah, it was.”
They scuttle towards the darkness where I’m guessing there is a door or something like it. I really hope they know how to get out of here but getting to know them for the past hour I have no doubt. They are pretty sneaky.
They rub one claw over their arm in farewell and I copy them before they disappear into the dark.
I lean back on my hands and take a deep breath. This was… good. Really good. I feel relaxed in a way I haven’t for a long time.
I hope I see them again some day. That would be nice.
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
“You got to be kidding me.”
The next day I’m once again way too early for a meeting. I don’t know what I expected. Maybe I don’t really want to admit that I expected anything, to be honest.
But whatever it is, it’s not Sam with three other pebbles waiting for me on the other side of the xenonite.
“Grace Grace Grace!” Sam shouts and jumps towards the barrier. The other three, about the same height but with different shades of green and pink and red, hold back a little. They don’t seem afraid. Just cautious. “See! I told you. Squishy alien. Not scary.”
I sit down hard on the ground. “What? How did you all-?”
“Show them sand!” Sam orders and man, they sound so bossy I could almost think they are related to Rocky. “Show them surface tension.”
“I don’t-”
“What is in your claw?” one of the other Eridians asks, a bit more timid. They point to my glasses that I've taken off the moment I thought I was seeing double and triple.
“They are my glasses. They help me see.”
“What does that mean?” the little red one pipes up and presses next to Sam against the glass. I can see now that they are a little bit taller than the others. Maybe older too?
So I explain to them about glasses and prescriptions.
Then I explain what eyes are.
Then I explain what light is.
And then-
++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
So yeah. That’s how it starts.
One week after my first visit from Sam there are now around fifteen pebbles gathered around on the other side of the xenonite barrier. For some reason they always know exactly when I’m about to have a meeting and arrive a few hours early. And for some reason I come to the barrier as well, a few hours early, even though I know I should let someone know about this security breach. I mean, how is it possible that over a dozen Eridian kids smuggle their way into this facility(?) every day and no one notices? And don’t their parents wonder where they are?
But I’m afraid if I tell someone about this, they won’t be allowed to come back anymore. The engineers will close whatever safety gap they are using to get here and then I’ll…
I bury my head in my hands, despairing a little. I know I can’t keep this up forever. I can’t be the guy parents warn their kids about during stranger danger. The older man who lures you to his van with promises of fun science experiments and tells you to keep it a secret from your parents. Ugh. Just the thought makes me gag.
No no! I won’t let this continue, no matter how much I enjoy having little attentive listeners. This has to stop. Rocky said he’d visit today after my daily meeting with the scientists and doctors and I will tell him then. He will be mad, I’m sure. But I’d rather tell my best friend than a horde of angry parents. Maybe my buddy, my pal, will deal with them for me?
What can I say? I’m still a coward.
“Teacher Grace?” Quinn, one of the older pebbles, asks. “Okay?”
My heart seizes at the address but I take a deep breath and tell myself to get over it. This might be my last lesson ever so I might as well make it a great one.
“Yep!” I rub my hands over my face to get rid of any trace of sadness and smile at my… class. “Where were we?”
“Rocky would also like to know.”
I jump about three feet in the air, not to mention the screech I let out at the unexpected voice at my back. My pebbles are all just as surprised. They were so focused on me that they evidently didn’t notice Rocky coming up the beach. They are probably more worried about intruders on their side of the window and not mine.
They all scramble over each other, shouting “Hero Rocky, Hero Rocky” repeatedly. Some of them curl up into little balls and roll across the floor frantically. It would be the most adorably chaotic sight if I weren’t freaking out myself. I whirl around and there is Rocky, on my beach, his new and improved xenonite suit glittering in the artificial sun. He has crossed two of his arms, a mannerism he has picked up from me. I can’t really explain how but I can tell that he’s deeply unamused. The only thing missing is a tapping foot or him shaking his carapace like a disapproving governess might shake her head.
The kids are still flapping around but also fleeing into the dark one by one.
“Rocky!” I drawl and open my arms wide for a hug I know is not coming. “Pal. Buddy. Rock! The Rockster. You… uhm. You are early?”
Rocky may not have a face or eyes but he still manages to give me the feeling that he’s staring right at me with a stoic expression. I chance a look at the space behind me and none of the children are visible anymore. If I squint my eyes I can see some of the shadows move a little so they are still there, just hiding. I wonder why, considering that Eridians don’t need light to see and they have to know that Rocky will still be able to spot them.
Maybe they don’t want to leave me alone with him? How sweet!
“Grace.” Rocky greets and I can’t place the tone of his voice. I’ve gotten better with it but this time I’m drawing a blank. Is he angry? Disappointed? “I see you have been busy.”
“Ah, well.” I look at the sky and then at the ground and then at the waves just behind him, anything to avert his ‘gaze’. I shrug my shoulders before I point a thumb at the observation deck behind me and give him a shaky grin. “Hero Rocky, eh? Cool. You never told me they call you that. How fitting.”
Rocky dips to the side a little and for a glorious second I think I have distracted him. My friend deals even worse with all this hero worship than I do. But he just chirps in a way I know means he’s exasperated. “Don’t change the subject.”
“Hey, look. I was going to tell you. Today, in fact! I wasn’t trying to keep this from you.” I wince a little and hope he can’t tell how long this has been going on although it’s pretty obvious by the little setup I've assembled for some easy experiments that this is not a new development. “I really have no idea how they keep sneaking in here.”
“They are pebbles of the Eridians who work here,” Rocky says and finally comes closer to softly bump into my side. The action releases a tension I didn’t even know was there. “Scientist’s have grown suspicious about why their children want to accompany them to work for the past week. Should have known Grace has something to do with it.”
“Oh.”
I feel a little dumb. That actually makes a lot of sense. The parents don’t wonder where their kids are because they brought them to this place themselves. I vaguely remember going with my mother to her workplace and being left alone in a room by myself with a coloring book and a stern warning to stay out of the way. I wonder if it works like this here too, if there is some kind of playroom where they are all left alone, free to wander off and seek out a weird alien who teaches them about all kinds of earth stuff.
Rocky taps the ground repeatedly with one of his claws, agitated. I place a hand against his suit, hoping that he’ll take comfort from it even though I’m probably in the dog house with him right now.
“Are you very mad?”
As soon as the question is out of my mouth I cringe. What an embarrassing thing to ask. I’m a grown man, I can deal with my friend being angry with me without fishing for reassurances.
Except I really, really don’t want him to be angry with me.
Rocky twitches and presses closer against me. I sink to the ground so we can finally have that hug. We always hug when he comes inside and I didn’t even know how much the change in routine has bothered me until it is reestablished.
“Rocky not mad.” Rocky regresses into our old speaking patterns when we only had a limited vocabulary available before he catches himself. “I am not mad at Grace. I am… confused. Why did you not tell me about this?”
“I’m not even sure what this is,” I mutter against him. He tightens his limbs around me and I sigh. “I promise I was going to tell you today. I know I shouldn’t do this in secret. I just… I don’t know. I was afraid that… well-”
It’s hard to put into words but luckily Rocky has always been able to understand me even without silly things like full sentences. He hums deep in his body, a very calming vibration traveling from him through me, and runs a claw through my hair. Those new xenonite suits are a godsent for my touch starved body.
“Why do you think I would be mad?” Rocky asks. “I know Grace is a teacher.”
Something about that sentence makes my breath hitch. I haven’t been considered a teacher for a long, long time. “I guess it’s hard to remember, sometimes.”
Rocky keeps humming.
“Grace is being stupid again,” he declares and finally pushes me away. Gently. Then he turns to the xenonite barrier. “Stop hiding. You are not fooling anyone.”
One after another the… my pebbles creep out of the shadows and gather together in front of the xenonite wall. I’ve gotten a lot better at reading their body language (they are also much more open than the adults) and it’s obvious even to me that they are intimidated by Rocky’s presence. It’s a bit weird to witness but it also makes sense. Rocky saved their entire planet. He is revered by everyone.
“Hero Rocky,” Sam, who has appointed themselves a bit of a spokesperson for the class over the last week, no doubt out of a “finder’s keeper’s” mindset, steps forward. “Don’t tell our parents, please. We want to keep coming here.”
I feel myself tear up a little. It’s always good to know that I wasn’t the only one enjoying these lessons.
“I will definitely tell your parents about this,” Rocky scolds and while I know that it’s the right thing to do (the only thing he can do, really, and which I should have done days ago) I still slump a little in disappointment. The little pebbles start to chitter angrily until Rocky lifts one of his arms. “And then I will arrange with them regular hours for you to come back for more teachings.” He leans towards me. “If Hero Grace is okay with that.”
“Yes!” I blurt out, too shocked to protest the ‘Hero Grace’ thing. “Yes of course!” After a second I lean closer to Rocky so he can hear me over the children’s excited screeching. “But… do you think they’ll agree to that? I spent time with their children and taught them without their consent, they can’t be too happy about that. I wouldn’t be.”
The sound that comes out of Rocky is way too familiar. It’s his “I can’t believe you actually saved two worlds” sound. I mostly heard it on our way over when I refused to sleep, paranoid that Mary would break apart any second, or rationed my food into too small portions and kept passing out. It’s his “you’re an idiot” grunt, followed by his “but I love you anyway” chirp.
“Grace is most beloved person on all of Erid next to Rocky. They will trust you with all of their children without question.” He taps my forehead which, ouch! “They will be thrilled. Once word gets out, everyone will want their children to come here. But we will keep classes small for now. You are still healing. No overexerting yourself!”
I want to believe him but I’m also kind of not convinced. I’m just… Grace. Yes, I know my way around a classroom and the kids seem to have enjoyed the last few days but is that really enough?
“Do you really think… I mean, do you think there is something I can teach them?”
“You have taught them for a week. Grace tell me,” Rocky points out and then tries to tap my forehead again but this time I lean out of his reach. “And you have taught adult Eridians so much already. There is a lot we don’t know that you do. Stop being stupid. When last sleep, question.”
I roll my eyes but he’s got me there. Eridians are unbelievably advanced in a lot of areas but in others they know next to nothing because their biology has never made it necessary to research these concepts. They don’t perceive their world like a human does so the theories on light for example are completely unknown to them. Or radiation. Teaching the Eridian scientists and doctors about that and explaining what went wrong with the rest of the crew had been bittersweet but also rewarding because they immediately got to work on making sure nothing like this could ever happen again.
So yes, I guess I could teach Eridian children a thing or two and, most importantly, make it fun for them.
Something in my chest loosens. I realize I want this. More than anything in the world.
Rocky seems to know what I’m thinking. As usual. He comes closer and leans against me again. His warmth though the xenonite suit is grounding me in the here and now.
“Grace will teach again,” he says and I start to cry for real this time. “This is who you are. Remember, statement.”
I allow myself some tears and sniffles and then rub my arm across my eyes and laugh a little.
“Thanks, Mufasa.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’ll explain next movie night, buddy.”
Rocky must be able to tell that I just made a bit of fun of him because he turns his attention back to the class.
My class.
“I will talk to your parents and you will continue the lesson until they come to get you. Ask Hero Grace about these.” He points at my face where there are still big fat tears running down my cheeks. I just can’t stop. “Those are called tears and leaky Hero Grace has them a lot. For a lot of reasons. Some of them stupid. Ask him about them.”
“Rocky!” I shout but my friend is already leaping away across the beach, chittering and laughing. I’m laughing too as the kids clamor in front of the xenonite wall, waving their little limbs around to get my attention, asking what tears are and if they are dangerous and why do I have them now and what purpose are they serving.
“Alright, alright, settle down. My hand is up, kids!” They settle down and I grin. “Now what purpose do you think they serve?”