Chapter Text
The day actually started out pretty good for Victoria.
Her parents had both needed to be at the hospital extra early, so she’d been allowed to take her beloved pink Jeep for a spin. She rode with the top down, blasting Sabrina Carpenter and singing along way too loudly for Pittsburgh morning traffic. The wind whipped through her hair, and for a few blissful minutes she felt like the main character of her own little movie.
Since she was up and out so early, she even had time to stop by her favorite coffee shop and snag her usual iced lavender oat milk matcha latte. The barista had even drawn a tiny flower on the cup next to her name. Small wins.
When she arrived near the hospital she parked a little further away than usual, something she would come to regret after her twelve hour shift, but it gave her an excuse to take a leisurly stroll through the slightly blooming streets. With her purple backpack slung over one shoulder, iced matcha in hand and soft spring air brushing against her face she felt lighter than she had in weeks.
Honestly, Victoria felt quite giddy this morning.
It was probably just because it was finally spring.
That is what she told herself, anyway.
The cherry blossoms were finally blooming in the park, the weather had stopped literally killing people before they rolled into their ED, and she could finally leave the house without wrapping herself in six layers like a depressed burrito. Naturally, that would improve her mood.
That was it.
Obviously.
There was not anything else going on. Really.
Okay sure, maybe she was a tiny bit excited to be back on the day shift after an imposed two-week stint on nights.
Sue her. It was hard to have a proper life or sleep schedule working nights. And while she loved the night shift staff, she was also eager to work with the day shift again. And while Dr. Shen and Dr. Abbot were amazing attendings, there was just something missing. Like a certain day shift attending, her unhelpful mind supplied as usual.
That was so not true. She did not miss her attending. That would be concerning. Truly.
Like come on. He was fifty. Grumpy. He was her attending. He knew her parents. Knew of her since she was a kid.
God.
Even just thinking about him made Victoria’s stomach do an embarrassing swooping thing.
It was so not fair, honestly. Dr. Robby was not even particularly charming like Dr. Shen or Dr. Abbot. He didn't exactly radiate warmth. In fact, half the staff were mildly on edge lately because of his abrupt mood swings. It didn't help matters that he spent most shifts looking like he wanted to collapse into a supply closet.
And yet...
Knowing all that didn't stop her whole body from reacting like a live wire whenever he entered the room. It didn’t stop the stupid little rush of dopamine she got from any scrap of praise he threw her way. Worst of all, she would become so painfully aware of her own pathetic little existence that she could swear she became slower, clumsier, and overheated due to his presence alone. And her thoughts about him were becoming increasingly—
Questionable.
Victoria cringed.
She took a final deep breath of spring air and tried to compose herself before walking through the sliding doors of the hospital.
Act normal, Victoria.
He is your attending. He is twice your age. He calls you kid for God’s sake.
That should have been enough to kill whatever this was immediately for her.
Tragically, it was not.
She was so deep in trying to snap out of her silly thought spiral that she almost walked head-first into the man causing it.
Dr. Robby was leaning against the nurses' station reviewing a chart with that familiar furrowed brow. His broad shoulders filled out the black scrubs far too well. Reading glasses rested low on his nose, slight silver threading through the dark hair at his temples. And his thighs—
He looked tired.
Comfortingly solid.
Annoyingly attractive.
Her heart gave a pathetic little thud.
"Morning, Victoria," he grumbled, barely glancing up from the chart. His voice had that low, morning gravel to it that always made her knees feel weak. "Glad to have you back on days"
"G-good morning, Dr. Robby," she managed to squeak out.
Cool. Casual. Completely fucking normal. Ugh.
Thankfully, he either didn’t notice her stuttering or simply didn'tcare that one of his med students apparently lost all normal social function around authority figures.
A faint tired half-smile touched his mouth before he looked back down at the chart.
"See you out here in a few, kid," he added without looking up again.
Kid.
That word should have been neutral.
It wasn’t.
She wanted to kick herself. Victoria quickly hurried past him toward the locker rooms before she could embarrass herself further, cheeks burning the entire way there.
Get a grip. He is your boss. Stop being such a weirdo.
This was becoming an actual issue.
She had always been a little flustered around Dr. Robby, but lately it felt different. Stronger. More obvious. Like her brain had decided to take her perfectly manageable admiration for the man and twist it into something deeply inconvenient.
But as she shoved her backpack into her locker and turned to pull her sleek black hair back with her favorite pink scrunchie, she couldnt help the tiny smile that crept onto her face. He had said he was glad she was back.
With that thought in mind, she made the short walk out to the nurses' station where she cheerfully greeted Dana who immediately narrowed her eyes at her.
"What's got you all chipper lately?"
Victoria nearly aspirated. Okay, so she was slightly happier today, was that a crime?
"What? Nothing," she answered way too fast. "Just, uh, nice spring weather I guess! And I got a latte today," she giggled uneasily, sloshing her drink around for emphasis.
Just then, Dr. Robby materialized behind her, towering over her as if summoned. Her entire nervous system lit up on instinct.
He made a scoffing sound, sharing a look with Dana, who tilted her head playfully.
"What even is in that radioactive thing?" he asked, sounding amused.
Victoria flushed brightly. Before she could stop herself, the words tumbled out in a nervous ramble.
"It's a lavender oat milk matcha latte with a slight drizzle of honey. It is honestly soooo goood. Do you want to try?" She offered the cup before she could will herself to shut up.
The minute the words left her mouth, she wanted to evaporate.
Dana snorted loudly. While Robby looked at her like she had grown a second head.
Then one corner of his mouth twitched upwards.
"I'm good, kid. Thanks," he said, voice gruff, but not unkind. "Is it Dr. Shen who has gotten you into all this crap mascarading as caffeine during nights?" he questioned with slight amusement in his tone.
"Oh, no, John only drinks Dunkin! This is way better," Victoria lamented. Her brown cheeks feeling hotter by the second.
Both Dana and Robby quirked their eyebrows at her response. Dana supplying a "John, huh?", with a teasing smile. While Robbys mouth turned slightly downwards. He cleared his throat before Victoria could fumble her way through a response.
"Try not to vibrate off the planet from all that sugar kid," he shrugged. "And head to room six, Dr. Langdon could use a hand"
As he passed, he gave her shoulder a brief, almost paternal pat.
Victoria stood frozen for a second after he walked away.
Her shoulder almost tingling where he had touched her.
Which was insane.
It was a shoulder pat.
People patted shoulders all the time. Probably.
Dana's drawl broke through her spiral.
"You heard the man, kid. Scoot!"
Victoria immediately snapped back to reality.
"Yep. Going!"
She hurried off down the hallway, and totally didn't internally replay the shoulder pat like a treasured cinematic moment set to the tune of one of her favorite Bollowyood films. Totally.
♡
Victoria was about halfway through her shift when the peaceful start to her day officially ended. She was charting next to the nurses' station which had decended into it's usual chaos with phones ringing, monitors chiming, staff weaving around each other with the speed and coordination of people who had long since adapted to functioning under constant stress while running on copious amounts of caffeine.
She was hunched over the computer, typing notes in quick succession while absently chewing on the straw of her empty matcha. When a slight lull in patients brough Perlah and Princess around her, she knew without looking up that she was about thirty seconds away from becoming entertainment.
"So," Princess drawled happily, rolling herself over in her chair. "How was your little night shift adventure?"
Victoria kept her eyes firmly planted on the chart in front of her.
"It was fine."
Perlah snorted softly behind her.
"Just fine?" Princess sing-songed, clearly fishing.
Victoria hesitated.
Okay, so maybe she had enjoyed her time on nights more than she expected. The atmosphere was different. Less administrative hovering, slightly less chaos, despite worse cases, and while Dr. Abbot calling them night crawlers made her cringe, she had grown fond of the staff suprisingly quickly.
Still.
"Fine," she repeated cautiously.
Princess narrowed her eyes.
"Hmm"
"What?" Victoria finally looked up from her screen feeling surprisingly defensive.
Perlah leaned against the counter, grinning at her expression.
"It's just a little weird," Perlah started "you worked with Mateo for three weeks straight and yet you didn't come back acting like a malfunctioning Roomba"'
Victoria nearly choked on air.
Princess gasped theatrically.
"You are so right Perlah! That is quite weird, is it not?"
Victoria buried her face briefly in her hands, warmth crept up her chest to her cheeks.
The thing was, she knew why they were teasing her. A year ago she probably would have been a puddle on the floor after prolonged exposure to Mateo.
And unfortunately for her dignity, everyone in the ED seemed to be painfully aware of her embarrassing little crush on the newly turned night shift nurse. In her defense, he was objectively attractive and had this kind of shameless flirtatiousness that she was unaccustomed to.
But her interest had faded months ago. Now when she thought about Mateo she mostly just remembered him stealing her yogurt from the staff fridge and calling every older attractive woman "mama". It had made her crush die out brutally.
"See?" Perlah pointed accusingly. "No blushing. No stuttering. No eye twitching."
Princess leaned closer dramatically.
"Oh my God," she whispered "Our little Bunny has evolved"
Victoria laughed nervously. She didn't know when Santos had gone from calling her Crash to Bunny and convinced everyone else to utalize the new nickname, it was all a rather new development. And while she knew that Trinity meant it as an olive branch, she still really hated it.
"You guys are ridiculous," she huffed, scrunching her nose.
"No," Princess continued thougthfully, ignoring her entirely. "Actually...this is growth. This is a sign of maturity. Our Bunny is growing up"
Perlah nodded solemnly. "Maybe she is developing a more refined taste?" she suggested with a smirk.
Victoria immediately didn't like where this conversation was headed.
Princess sighed dreamily, pressing a hand to her chest and wiggling her eyebrows. "A taste for emotionally unavailable attendings perhaps?"
Victoria let out a startled laugh that sounded far too high pitched.
Perlah cackled.
"Oh, Bunny knows exactly what we mean"
“No I do not,” Victoria lied instantly.
Princess continued undeterred.
"Dr. Shen is aging like fine wine after all"
"Sure is," Perlah agreed happily "Or maybe Dr. Abbot caught your eye during nights Bunny? Total silver fox, but soooo too old for you"
Victoria giggled uneasily, staring very hard at her computer screen.
“So, Bunny has a new inappropriate work crush,” Trinity, who had been listening into their conversation, supplied unhelpfully, making Victoria practically pout from humiliation.
"W-w-what thats not true!" she forced out making all three woman laugh.
"Relax Bunny," Trinity smirked "exploring your interest in older men is a natural part of growing up straight or in your case just growing -..."
Before she could finish her sentence a chart slammed onto the counter hard enough to make all four of them jump.
The entire nurses' station went silent for half a second.
Dr. Robby stood there leaning against the desk, one hand on the chart he had slammed down, the other tight around his stethoscope, expression humorless.
"Is this a hospital," he asked with a flat tone "or an after school special?"
Princess immediately turned back to her computer.
Perlah suddenly became deeply invested in organizing syringes.
Dr. Santos rolled her eyes slightly, but dove back into her charting.
Victoria felt her spine straighten automatically.
Robby looked exhausted and irritated in a way that suggested something had already gone very wrong this shift. His jaw was tight, reading glasses pushed up into his hair as he rubbed tiredly at his temple.
His gaze shifted toward Victoria.
“You eaten yet?”
The abruptness of the question caught her off guard.
“Oh. Um.” She blinked. “Not really?”
His expression darkened immediately.
Victoria resisted the instinctive urge to apologize, but looked down chastized.
For some reason Dr. Robby took her skipped meals personally.
“You’ve been here how long?”
“Like…” she checked the time quickly. “six hours?”
“And all you’ve had is that green sugar swamp?”
Victoria glanced weakly at her empty plastic cup.
“It has antioxidants?”
Robby stared at her.
Then he pointed down the hallway.
“Break room. Now.”
Victoria blinked.
“But I still need to finish—”
“You’ll survive ten minutes away from your chart.”
His tone wasn’t harsh exactly. Just firm, like he had already decided this for her.
God, it made her want to squeeze her thighs together.
Before her brain could catch up she was on her feet a sweet voice she barely recognized as her own softly saying "Okay. Thank you, Dr. Robby," making Santos raise one eyebrow.
As she hurried past him clutching her pink water bottle, she could practically feel the warmth radiating off him.
Which was unhelpful.
Very unhelpful.
Behind her, Santos muttered into her coffee, just loud enough for everyone to hear:
“With that attitude we’re gonna lose Bunny to the night shift permanently.”
The station went strangely silent for the second time that day.
Robby’s posture stiffened almost imperceptibly.
It was subtle enough most people probably wouldn’t notice.
However, Dr. Santos smirked faintly.
Robby looked down at the chart in his hand.
“Night shift already has enough bad habits,” he said dismissively.
Then he walked away without another word, shoulders stiff.
Princess slowly turned in her chair to look at Victoria who still hovered near the station.
Victoria’s face felt approximately one thousand degrees.
“Go eat your granola bar Victoria,” Princess whispered. “Before he chews your head off."
♡
The break room was blessedly quiet for once.
Victoria stood near the counter for a moment after walking in, still feeling embarrassingly overheated from the interaction at the nurses' station.
Night shift already has enough bad habits.
The comment shouldn’t have stung.
He thinks you are annoying. That you have bad habits. That you bring them to work, that you ruin everyth-
It shouldn’t have bothered her. Rationally, she knew Dr. Robby hadn’t meant anything by it. He was tired, stressed, and permanently one inconvenience away from developing an eye twitch.
Still.
Some soft, ridiculous part of her had immediately wondered if he didn’t want her around anymore. Which was insane considering he’d literally told her that morning that he was glad she was back.
Victoria sighed and dropped into one of the chairs, resting her forehead against the cold table for half a second.
“This is becoming a medical condition,” she muttered to herself.
Determined not to spiral over her grumpy attending before she was securely back at home, she unpacked her lunch instead.
Unlike most med students surviving on caffeine, Victoria actually cooked. Cooking had become her preferred stress response sometime during high school and now she meal prepped like a suburban mother of three trying to win a PTA competition.
Within minutes she had transformed the sad break room table into a suspiciously aesthetic little lunch spread.
Honey chili salmon with crispy edges rested on top of a bed of lemon herb rice next to a cucumber side salad with dill and feta. The whole thing was topped off with a cup of fresh strawberries she’d cut into little hearts because apparently she was psychologically incapable of behaving normally. She considered, not for the first time, if she should just drop out of med school and become a food influencer, but the image of her parents dissapointed faces dissuaded her yet again.
She sighed and took a bite of her food when the break room door opened.
Her stomach immediately flipped.
Dr. Robby stepped inside, still looking tired enough to physically lean with it.
He paused when he saw her sitting there.
For a second his expression softened in visible relief, like he’d genuinely been checking to make sure she had actually listened and taken a break.
Then his eyes dropped to the table.
His eyebrows lifted slightly.
“Well,” he said dryly and moved toward the coffee machine, “that’s considerably better than the protein bar I assumed you were hiding in here with.”
Victoria blinked.
Then beamed before she could stop herself.
“It’s just leftovers,” she said, trying and failing yet again to sound casual.
“Looks good, kid.”
The warmth that bloomed in her chest at the simple praise was honestly humiliating.
“Thanks,” she said softly.
He busied himself with the ancient machine that sounded like it was fighting for its life and not simply brewing coffee. Victoria watched him from beneath her lashes despite herself. Silence settling briefly between them.
Then Robby spoke again, tone casual in a way that immediately made Victoria feel on edge.
“So,” he said finally, glancing over at her while the coffee dripped. “The hyenas out there bothering you?”
Victoria snorted softly before she could help it.
“Oh. No? They’re okay.”
His jaw shifted slightly.
"Hm."
Something about his expression felt…off. Slightly guarded maybe.
He rested one hip lightly against the counter, turning his body toward her, coffee forgotten for the moment.
"They tend to get carried away sometimes."
Victoria felt her chest tighten a little, heat creeping up her neck.
Because suddenly it was painfully obvious that he had heard at least part of the mortifying conversation.
Them teasing her about Dr. Shen and Dr. Abbot, and even worse, about her humiliating past crush on Mateo. She desperately didn't want him to know about that.
"They were just joking around," she rushed to say. "No biggie."
His warm brown eyes searched hers. Steady.
“Didn’t say it was a big deal, kid.”
But his tone was painfully neutral, and him calling her kid made her feel emotionally unstable.
She quickly popped a strawberry in her mouth trying to appear calm. "I'm totally cool," she insisted, softer this time.
Something in his shoulders seemed to finally loosen at that. He gave a curt nod. "Good."
The coffee machine had finished dripping. He reached for the cup, but his gaze flicked once more toward her lunch.
"You make that all yourself?"
Victoria nodded, suddenly shy for reasons she couldn’t explain.
"Huh, impressive," he nodded taking a sip of his bitter coffee.
That stupid warm flutter exploded in her chest again.
Without thinking, she held out the container slightly.
"Want some?”
The second the words left her mouth she wanted to launch herself directly into traffic.
Why was she like this?
Why did she keep trying to feed her fifty year old attending?
She groaned quietly. "Sorry, that was a dumb question. Ignore me."
To her horror, the corner of Robby's mouth twitched.
"I'm good, kid." then gentler "maybe next time though?"
The effect those three words had on her was honestly alarming.
Because maybe next time implied there could be a next time at all.
Victoria was fairly certain she blacked out for half a second.
“Oh,” she squeaked. “Yeah. Sure!”
Robby grabbed his coffee, watching her with faint amusement like he could somehow see every chaotic thought ricocheting around in her skull.
“Eat your lunch, Victoria,” he said, slipping easily back into that familiar gruff attending tone. “And don't let them make you uncomfortable," he added quietly.
And there it was again. That underlying concern. For her.
She smiled helplessly while her chest ached.
“Yes, Dr. Robby, and I won't.”
His gaze dropped briefly to the strawberries she'd cut into little hearts.
One bushy eyebrow rose.
She wanted the floor to open up and swallow her whole.
But instead of commenting, he let out a low huff that sounded suspiciously like a laugh, before he turned toward the door. At the last second, he reached out, snatched one of the heart shaped strawberries and popped it into his mouth.
He glanced back at her just before stepping out.
“Good to have you back, kid.”
And then he was gone. The door clicked shut behind him.
Victoria stared at the closed break door for a full thirty seconds.
Then she slowly lowered her face into her hands.
Her heart felt so unbearably light it was almost painful.
This was bad.
This was so so so bad.
♡
The rest of the shift went by in its usual waves of chaos. Victoria barely even saw Dr. Robby after the break room incident.
Not that she was looking for him, and not that there was an incident.
Okay, so maybe she looked around for him. Just a little bit. Just when she had a couple of seconds to spare.
Whatever.
Well, not really whatever. Her brain wouldn't stop replaying the low rumble of his voice, the way he'd stolen that stupid heart-shaped strawberry. His low maybe next time though looped endlessly in her mind. It was almost to the point she feared she might be going clinically insane.
So maybe some distance was good.
Healthy.
Necessary even.
Going into hour eleven of her shift that distance shattered.
Victoria was updating a chart when Dana waved her over. "Room twelve," she said with a nod toward the area. "Ankle injury. Robby wants you on it."
Her stomach dropped in that pleasant, but annoyingly distracting way.
Get it together. Be professional.
She nodded at Dana in a way she hoped seemed calm, before she quickly hurried down the hall, her pulse already racing.
Dr. Robbby was already in the room when she entered, running a broad palm over his beard. The sight of him hit her like always. He was so handsome it physically hurt her to look at him for too long. She forced herselt to take stock of the room instead.
A fit, distinguished man in expensive athletic wear, clearly in his late forties, was carrying a pretty woman in a white Alo tennis dress bridal style. The woman was maybe a few years older than Victoria, perfectly manicured fingers clutching his shirt. Despite her obviously swollen ankels, she seemed perfectly content in his arms.
Dr. Robby glanced at Victoria. "There you are, kid." His voice warmed for half a second, before turning clipped. "This is Olivia. Bilateral ankle sprains from an intense padel game. This is her father-
“He is not my dad,” Olivia interrupted with a strained laugh, threading her fingers gently through the man’s hair. “This is Jackson. My boyfriend.”
The silence was brutal.
Jackson flushed a deep, humiliated red, looking like he wanted the floor to swallow him. Dr. Robby didn’t even try to hide his reaction. His jaw tightened, and a flash of distaste crossed his face.
"Honest mistake," he said flatly, though his tone held zero remorse. Instead he stepped forward to help transfer Olivia to the bed, his movements efficient but stiff. "Easy there, boyfriend," he added under his breath, the word dripping with sarcasm.
Victoria felt her stomach twist with secondhand embarrassment.
Olivia let out another bright, but brittle laugh. "It's okay," she said to Robby, "happens all the time!"
"Yeah," Jackson muttered "because I'm ancient compared to you."
"You are not ancient. You are forty-eight," Olivia insisted with a slight frown, squeezing his hand.
"Same difference," Jackson shrugged.
Victoria felt Dr. Robby's disapproval radiating off him like heat. It made her skin prickel with shame. Shame that had nothing to do with the couple before her, and everything to do with the thoughts she tried so desperatelyto bury every single day. Thoughts like, if Jackson was forty-eight and Olivia was, she glanced at the chart briefly, twenty-four, then that would give them a twenty-four-year age gap. Which was just a couple years shy off the one between her and-
Do not go there.
Do not-
As Dr. Robby reviewed the X-rays, his tone remained sharp. “Severe sprains on both sides. You’ll need to stay off your feet for a while. Think you have someone who can help you with that?"
Olivia’s smile faltered at his implication. Jackson stared hard at the wall, shoulders rigid.
Victoria’s cheeks burned. She had to suppress the urge of hiding behind Dr. Robby, who was not even pretending to be subtle anymore. The same protectiveness she so desperately craved from him, felt cruel and cutting when it was directed at someone else.
Jackson eventually mumbled something about going to get some water. He pressed a brief forhead kiss to Olivia's skin and practically fled the room before anyone could stop him. The curtain swung shut and the door closed behind him with a heavy thud. The second he was gone Olivia's face crumpled.
Victoria moved closer and began organizing the wrapping supplies, trying to ease the suffocating tension in the room. She was surprised when Dr. Robby spoke up again, his voice low and edged.
“You two been fighting? Or is this his usual behavior?”
The question landed heavily. His tone sharper than necessary. Victoria held back a wince at the way Olivia stiffened, her eyes turning glossy.
“It’s nothing like that," Olivia forced out.
Victoria’s chest ached. Robby’s judgment felt too personal, too harsh. It made her feel strangely defensive of this woman she barely knew.
"Then what is it like?" Victoria asked gently, sitting down to carefully start to clean Olivia's left ankle. She kept her voice deliberately soft.
Olivia exhaled shakily, still staring at the closed curtains. "It's just...it just sucks that it gets to him so much. The comments about our age, people assuming he's my dad."
"Yeah," Victoria nodded carefully, "I can imagine it must be frustrating"
"It's not even that," Olivia answered. "He feels so guilty about it. Acts like being with me makes him some kind of monster."
Dr. Robby let out a quiet, bitter scoff behind Victoria. Olivia clamped her mouth shut.
Victoria's face flamed with shame. She cleared her throat softly. Then she turned in her chair to glance up at Dr. Robby with big pleading brown eyes. "I think I've got the wrapping here, Dr. Robby. Maybe you could try to go find Jackson? I think Olivia would really like to have him back in here."
Their eyes met. His jaw was locked tight, protective instinct clearly warring with professionalism. For a second she swore he was about to refuse, but then with a final look at her he gave a curt nod. “Good idea, kid. Back real soon.”
The moment he pulled the curtains closed and the door shut behind him, Olivia let out a shaky exhale.
"Thanks," she muttered. *I'm just so tired of defending him. Of defending us, really"
Victoria just gave a small smile in return and started wrapping the ankle with steady hands. But her mind was spinning. Robby's harsh tone had left her feeling raw and exposed, like every secret thought she had about him was shameful and wrong. Like he would be disgusted with her if he ever knew.
"Your partner feels guilty because of the age difference?" she asked quietly instead.
Olivia nodded, before she smiled. Almost shy. "We met at the golf club he owns. I used to work there part time as a cart girl. Saw him on one of the company parties and that was it for me. He was so respectful you know? Almost painfully so. I pursued him for like...a year," she laughed weakly.
Victoria’s hands faltered. Her heart gave a painful, hopeful flutter. She kept her voice light and casual, almost offhand.
"That actually sounds kind of sweet," she admitted softly.
Olivia visibly relaxed, her shy smile growing. "He is sweet. Remembers all my little quirks. Like how I only like certain types of spoons or how some fabrics make my skin really itchy." She sighed a little before she continued. "But the guilt is destroying him. He gets in his head about it constantly. Especially when people make comments."
Her eyes flicked meaningfully toward the curtains Dr. Robby had disappeared through moments earlier.
Victoria trampled down the irrational desire to defend Dr. Robby.
Trying to lighten the mood, she instead offered softly, “But if you’re happy together isn’t that what matters?”
“I think so.” Olivia replied, watching her more carefully now. “But he keeps questioning our whole relationship.”
Victoria swallowed.
Then, before her rational brain could stop her -
“What if,” she started carefully, “part of the guilt is because he was technically in a position of power when you met?”
Olivia blinked at her.
Victoria immediately regretted her words. Her whole intention was to make the woman feel better, not cause her further distress by acting like Dr. Robby.
“I just meant,” she rushed softly, cheeks warming, “people can make things sound worse than they are when there’s an imbalance like that.”
Olivia let out a little sigh. “Jackson was my boss technically, yeah,” she admitted. “But he never crossed a line. Not once. Like I said he was almost frustratingly careful.”
Victoria’s hands stilled while tying off the wrap, like she wanted to ask more.
Olivia noticed immediately and continued.
"Which yes, I guess was the right thing for him to do. Because I know what it all looks like okay? I'm not stupid. But it was never, ever like that. He never pressured me or pursued me in any way. I promise." Olivia stated with a finality that made it obvious that she had had this exact conversation an exhausting amount of times before. "I am an adult. I love him. So the guilt he keeps lugging around just fucking hurts."
Victoria’s heart thudded unevenly.
God.
Why did this suddenly feel dangerously close to therapy?
She nodded before she could stop herself.
Too quickly.
Too emphatically.
Olivia noticed immediately.
A slow, knowing smile spread across her face.
“Oh,” she whispered.
Victoria nearly dropped the scissors.
“What?”
“You are in a similar situation aren't you?”
“No I'm not!”
"Mhhhm. Sure." Olivia grinned.
Victoria let out a strangled laugh.
“It’s not— there’s no one— its not like that-”
“There definitely is someone. He older huh?”
Silence.
Olivia gasped.
“So he IS!”
Victoria pressed her plump lips together so hard they nearly disappeared, while Olivia looked positively delighted.
“Wait wait wait,” she whispered dramatically. “How much older?”
Victoria made a vague distressed motion with her hand toward her.
Olivia’s eyes widened even further.
“That much older? Damn, welcome to the club girl!”
“It’s not really like that!” Victoria hissed, glancing nervously at the closed curtain. “Nothing is happening.”
“But you want it to.”
Heat flooded Victoria from head to toe, making her feel slightly dizzy.
She opened her mouth.
Closed it again.
Olivia stared at her with a triumphant look.
"It's okay. I was right where you are. Still am, if we are being honest. Down horrendously bad for some old man."
Victoria groaned, burying her burning face into her shoulder. "Well, this is humiliating.”
“It’s adorable.”
“It’s catastrophic.”
Olivia gentled. "So, what's the issue? Besides the obvious."
Victoria hesitated, she really should not be speaking to a patient of all people about this, but she didn't really have anyone else to talk to and she had to admit it felt kind of nice. Like having a friend her age to vent with. So, in for a penny in for a pound.
"He sort of, well not sort of - he has seniority here"
Olivia’s eyebrows shot upward.
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“But you like him?”
Victoria’s stomach swooped embarrassingly.
“Unfortunately.”
Olivia smiled sympathetically.
“And he likes you?”
That one hurt a little. Victoria focused aggressively on finishing the second wrap, shaking her head. "I don't think he actually likes me," then almost to soften the blow for herself she added "but he is very protective of me. He cares. In his own way."
"Okay,” Olivia said gently, nodding at her to continue.
“He’s just…” Victoria laughed weakly, fingers fussing unnecessarily with the edge of the wrap. “He notices everything about me. Like if I haven’t eaten or if I’m overwhelmed or even if my mood is off. And when he looks after me like that it makes me feel…”
She stopped herself abruptly, cheeks heating again.
Olivia’s expression softened instantly. “Safe?”
Victoria’s chest tightened painfully.
“It doesn’t matter anyway,” she muttered. "I'm just being silly."
“Because of the age difference?”
“Because of everything.” The words tumbled out faster now, raw and unguarded. “He’s older, he has authority over me… people would assume I was being taken advantage of. And honestly, maybe they’d be right. Because sometimes I think I’d let him get away with basically anything. Even if it’s wrong. Even if it makes me look pathetic or weak or desperate. I’d still say yes to whatever he wanted. I don't think I could tell him no-”
Before she could continue, the curtain rustled open.
Victoria jumped so violently she almost slammed her knee into the metal frame of the bed.
Dr. Robby stepped back inside with Jackson in tow. The latter clutching a bottle of water hard, looking sheepish. Both men smelled faintly of cigarettes. Jackson moved quickly to Olivia's side, murmuring apologies as she brightened and reached for him like a sunflower turning toward the sun.
Victoria's eyes found Dr. Robby automatically.
For a second something about his expression threw her off.
He looked—
Angry.
But that didn't make much sense. But maybe the conversation with Jackson had been painfully awkward, she thought with a sympathetic wince. Robby had made his feelings about their relationship crystal clear earlier. No wonder there was still tension.
She gathered her bearings as best she could. “Perfect timing,” she chirped, gesturing toward the finished wraps. “I just finished stabilizing both ankles.”
Dr. Robby mechanically moved forward to check her work. His face remained tight, professional and controlled.
“Looks good, kid,” he said after a moment, voice even, not really praise.
Warmth bloomed instantly in her chest anyway.
She was genuinely hopeless.
"Thanks Dr. Robby," she muttered.
But he was already turning toward the couple, who were wrapped up in each other again. Jackson softly petting Olivia's hair.
The rest of the discharge process passed strangely after that.
Not bad exactly.
Just…off.
Dr. Robby was unusually quiet, still radiating a heavy, brooding tension that made the air feel thick.
Victoria caught him looking at her twice, both times with an expression she couldn’t decipher before he glanced away again. It made fresh shame curl hot in her gut.
His harsh judgement of Olivia and Jackson had hit her harder than she wanted to admit. It made her own feelings seem dirty and pathetic. If he reacted so strongly to strangers, what would he think of her? A silly, naive, stupid girl with a massive crush on him. Stupid stupid stup-
By the time they left the room, Victoria was fully convinced that psychoanalyzing herself with Olivia had somehow made her an even bigger awkward mess than usual. So she spent the remainder of the shift avoiding prolonged contact with Dr. Robby like the absolute coward she was.
Surprisingly, the strategy worked. Mostly because the ED descended into its usual late-shift chaos. Handoffs had a tendency to swallow everyone whole. And by the time it was her turn to clock out, Dr. Robby had disappeared with Dr. Abbot to the roof. Victoria felt half-dead, mildly dehydrated, and so emotionally fragile that one look from Dr. Robby probably had the power to alter the trajectory of her entire week. Which was deeply pathetic, but not something she had any energy left to examine further at the moment.
Instead she hummed softly to herself while she gathered up her things from the locker room, trying to focus on the small mercy of being able to drive home with the Jeep top down. The spring air was still warm. Maybe she'd stop for fries. Her parents didn't need to know after all.
With her backpack slung over one shoulder and her pink Lululemon key chain dangling from her wrist, Victoria slipped out through the staff exit and started down the sidewalk toward the park.
"Victoria"
She stopped so abruptly her backpack nearly slid off her shoulder. She glanced back with big eyes.
Dr. Robby was standing several feet behind her.
He looked exhausted. but there was a coiled intensity in his posture that made her pulse trip over itself instantly. His reading glasses were tucked into the collar of his black t-shirt, which stretched across his biceps in a way that made her eyes flicker there before she could stop herself. His usual hoodie was long discarded. A big man like him probably felt really warm in the spring, her tired brain supplied uselessly.
“Oh,” Victoria squeaked intelligently. “Hey, Dr. Robby.”
His expression didn’t soften the way it usually did around her. If anything, he looked strangely serious. Almost grim as he made his way over to her in a few quick strides.
“I heard from Dana that you drove in today.”
Victoria blinked confused, having to tilt her head up too look at him now that he was closer. “Oh. Yeah?”
A slight frown tugged at his mouth. “You park all the way out in the overflow again?”
Her stomach dipped. She felt the instant need to apologize. She offered a sheepish smile. "It's just...I really like the walk through the park. The weather's real nice today, you know?"
“I’ll walk you to your car.”
The words landed less like an offer and more like a demand.
Heat crawled instantly up her neck. Part of her melted at his concern, enjoying the protectiveness he offered so freely. But a bigger part of her felt oddly deflated. He really did see her as a kid. This was just Dr. Robby feeling responsible for her, yet again. Maybe her parents had put him up to this, she thought miserably.
“That’s really kind, Dr. Robby,” she said awkwardly, adjusting the strap of her backpack. “But you seriously don’t have to—”
He cut her off, "I insist." His tone left no room for argument.
After a second he added, "I'd like to have a word with you anyway so," he gestured noncommittaly towards the path.
Victoria’s stomach dropped.
Every possible worst case scenario flooded her brain simultaneously.
What could she have done wrong?
Had she overstepped by sending him out of the room earlier? Was he angry she'd basically dismissed an attending.
Pathetic little girl, she chided herself.
Then, her tired brain landed on the most alarming possibility of them all.
Oh my God.
He knew.