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"...shades of grey?" Crowley raised his glass.
Gods, he was beautiful. The candle light revealed his golden eyes ever so slightly, and the moonlight bounced off his glasses. Aziraphale mimicked the motion, raising his own glass. He couldn't believe it. They had come so close, and they still made it through. Aziraphale was thrilled. Thrilled with himself, but mostly with the proud smile he had received from Crowley. He loved it when he made him smile.
Crowley leaned back in his chair, tipping his hat over his face. Relieved. He allowed himself to relax, a soft smile tugging the corners of his mouth. Aziraphale really was terrible at magic. But this… fluke, of sorts, was mighty impressive. Through the sliver of light between the rim of his sunglasses and hat he saw Aziraphale leap up. His eyebrows raised in surprise.
Aziraphale glided across the room, pulling a feather boa from where it rested on the record player. There hadn't been a record on the platter, but the one there now began spinning, a comforting harmony echoing around the bookshop. Aziraphale danced, swirling himself in the boa.
Crowley removed his hat, resting it on the table. He sipped his wine, enjoying the performance.
Aziraphale had almost forgotten Crowley was there until he opened his eyes. When he did, his smile grew wider. He held out his hand, inviting him to dance.
Crowley raised an eyebrow. They don't dance. They never dance. He sucked in a breath, considering the options. They don't dance, but oh how he would love to twirl around, carefree, with his angel. He gently raised out his hand, the other one setting his glass back down on the table.
Aziraphale took his hand like it was always expected, and pulled Crowley up, grabbing his waist without a second thought.
Crowley flinched the slightest, but relaxed into Aziraphale's firm hold.
It felt like second nature, like his hand had always belonged there. Crowley's free hand joined Aziraphale's on his waist, his other clasped around Aziraphale's.
Neither of them were really sure what to do. Angels, in general, don't dance. Aziraphale had only ever learnt the Gavotte. Crowley had been known to dance in the past, but not the sort of dancing that required a partner. They ignored all of this, though, and managed to find some rhythm in the music. Their steps were awkward, kicking and stumbling over each other.
Not a single clear thought had formed in either of their heads. They didn't care that they didn't know how to dance. They didn't care that this was so completely beyond their boundaries. They were together, and as far as they knew they wanted to stay like this for the rest of eternity.
Crowley let Aziraphale go and twirled him under his arm. He'd seen it done in movies, but nothing could compare to how elegantly Aziraphale twirled. They hadn't even spoken a word. Just slow breathing and small bouts of laughter let the other know they were still fully there.
Aziraphale pulled the boa from around his neck, and threw it around Crowley's. He grabbed the ends, and pulled Crowley's close. He let go, but Crowley remained practically nose to nose. He was smiling. Aziraphale reached up to his face, and gently pulled his glasses off.
"There you are." Aziraphale discarded the glasses to the floor of the bookshop.
Crowley didn't think he'd ever been this close to Aziraphale. With the removal of his glasses, he could properly see all of the angel's wonderful features. His pale blue eyes twinkled with the moonlight's reflection. The lines that rested perfectly on each side of his eyes, the ones that told you the exact smile count of a person. Aziraphale had infinite smiles. Crowley's eyes trailed down to his soft lips, which parted to reveal the very smile he knew so well. He noticed his arm out of the corner of his eye, indicating that his hand had mindlessly wandered to the back of Aziraphale's neck, playing in the soft fuzz of hair.
Aziraphale reached out to hold Crowley's face. He held it tight, like it might disappear at any moment.
No, this was not what they did. But it is now.
Before a chance of hesitation, Crowley pushed himself forward, breaking Aziraphale's hold on his face, and pressed his lips against the ones he had been staring at for millennia. He bumped his teeth against Aziraphales, and missed slightly to the left, but it was perfect.
Aziraphale pushed back, somewhat harder. His empty hands found the back of Crowley's head, grasping his hair and pulling himself closer. They swayed gently to the music, finally, finally, feeling complete.
They broke apart, and Crowley wiped the tears that had escaped from those beautiful eyes of his angel. He didn't care that this was technically impossible. For the sake of them, they had made it possible. He pressed his forehead against Aziraphale's, laughing gently. He felt free.
Aziraphale pushed himself back from Crowley, but was brought back immediately, finding he was tangled in the boa that wrapped tightly around them both. Not that he minded. He'd rather not let go of Crowley anytime soon. He leaned in, kissing Crowley again, but this time he pushed harder. He guided Crowley to the couch, pushing him down and falling on top of him. Crowley breathed in, eyes widening with surprise. Aziraphale kissed him deeply, hands travelling down to Crowley's tie, and began loosening.
Crowley kissed him back, his hands occupied with the undoing of Aziraphale's waistcoat. The added difficulty of being held close to him by the tangled boa served a challenge, but they managed. Crowley hadn't even realised Aziraphale's hand was tracking down lower. He felt his pants unbutton, and lifted himself up as Aziraphale yanked them down. He gave up on Aziraphale's top buttons and focused his attention down below as well.
--
Crowley stared wide eyed at the ceiling. He was barely even aware of the weight that sat on top of him as he stroked Aziraphale's fluffy hair, which rested just below his nose. Aziraphale's hand rested on Crowley's bare chest, and the feather boa was still draped around them. The record on the player had run out, and so had the few candles. He laid still, surrounded by darkness and quiet, other than the soft breathing of Aziraphale. He couldn't quite comprehend what had happened. Did they even talk beforehand? He didn't even remember how they had ended up on the couch. He didn't think he regretted it. No, this was something he wanted. He was positive on that note. Was it what Aziraphale wanted though? He recalled Aziraphale being the one to actually initiate, well, everything. That answers that, then. Still, there was a strange tugging in his chest. Like a knowledge of something he hadn't quite picked up on yet. Other than that, he felt peace. Peace for Crowley was hard to come by. He couldn't quite remember the last time he had actually felt this peaceful. It would have been before the fall.
Aziraphale stirred, and Crowley planted a kiss on his forehead. The feeling of knowing bugged him. But what did he know? He knew this was what he wanted. He knew this is probably what Aziraphale wanted as well. What else was there to consider?
"Crowley?" Aziraphale looked up.
"Mmm?" Crowley looked down.
"Was that… I mean…" Aziraphale cleared his throat. "Are you ok?"
Crowley hugged Aziraphale tighter.
"Better than ever, Angel. And you?"
"Quite." Aziraphel buried his head closer to Crowley's chest, his hand forming circles around his nipple.
The two laid in silence as the morning light began leaking in, coating them both in a layer of sunshine.
Crowley's heart sank. He knew what it was. He had known all along. They didn't do this. And there was a reason.
"Angel?"
"Yes?"
Crowley's mouth went dry at the thought of saying the words.
"I love you."
"I love you too, my dear."
That was not what Crowley wanted to say. Well, it was exactly what he wanted to say. But he shouldn't have. Because there was something else that he had to say.
"Angel?"
"Mmm?"
"We can't… we can't do this again."
Crowley felt Aziraphale breath out. "No. No, we can't"
He knew as well. Aziraphale knew since he first invited Crowley to dance. He knew when he pushed him down to the couch. But he didn't care. He was hungry, and had to indulge.
The silence was loud, now. There was so much more that they wanted to say. But they both knew it would be pointless. It wasn't safe.
"What now?" Crowley asked, breaking through the noise.
"We… forget. We forget all about this. Until it's safe. Until we're safe."
Crowley wanted to argue. He desperately wanted to reject the suggestion. But he knew he couldn't. Because as much as he hated it, he agreed. They had to forget this. They had to move on.
They knew they were built for each other, but they also knew that the universe was not built for them.