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Routine ball inspection you know how it is

Summary:

Dirk gets up close and personal with Jake's nether regions.

Notes:

More dirkjake. Enjoy.

Work Text:

    Jake laid back on Dirk's desk, looking up at him with those fake oblivious eyes. "Thanks for helping me with this," he said, clapping him on the arm. Dirk stared down at him, trying to keep his cool. Jake's legs were spread open with his knees bent, presenting his clothed crotch to Dirk's leering eyes. Underneath those tight shorts was what he'd been looking forward to since the day he met Jake. Thick, long, uncut...at least that's what he hoped. And here he was, giving his best friend a 'routine testicle check', which was totally a normal thing that bros did for each other, and not an excuse for him to slobber all over Jake's greasy knob.

    He took deep breaths as he reached down to pop the button on Jake's shorts. Feeling the weight of Jake's eyes, he glanced up. Sure enough, Jake had that goofy grin on his face. His stupid fucking overbite...Dirk almost forewent taking the shorts off to slam his face down and start worshiping Jake right then and there.

    "Well, get on with it, then," Jake said, gesturing with his hand. Dirk's shades had tipped down his nose, which let the two of them lock eyes. Dirk stared. Jake stared back. Dirk blushed. Jake's lip quirked up again. He had a shitty little moustache. Dirk wondered what it would feel like on his lips. It would probably scrape a bit, but in that ticklish way. That'd feel nice. On his south lips too. Dirk could imagine it: Jake holding him down and sucking his cocklet, teasing him for how small it is. Hollowing his cheeks around it, and that shitty little moustache scratching him under his bush. Two fingers scissoring him open as he begs him to let up, but he—

    Jake was snapping his fingers in front of Dirk's face with an expectant look. Right. The 'inspection'. Dirk cleared his throat and grabbed the zipper of Jake's shorts. "Of course. What are friends for?" He exhaled as he unzipped the shorts. He was one step closer to getting that monster down his throat. He knew Jake was large. He could tell from the accidental boners that poked him while they wrestled. He could tell because he would grind back against them, hoping Jake would take the fucking hint.

    Sure enough, when Dirk pulled the shorts down there was a sizeable bulge waiting for him. He bit his lip to stifle any sounds he would have made. Fuck, it was so hot. He only realized he had frozen up again when Jake lightly kicked his side. 

    Dirk took a deep breath and ran a finger down the front of Jake's boxers. He heard Jake's breath hitch as his thighs twitched from the touch. "Nice and large," Dirk said, like he was judging a show pony, "that's good." He ran his finger up and down again before rubbing Jake's tip through the fabric. That rewarded him a choked gasp. He smirked ever so slightly as he gripped Jake's shaft. "Girthy, too."

    Jake swallowed and nodded his head. "Glad to have a professional ap–appraising it." He had a look in his eyes. It looked like embarrassment and excitement had a fucked up baby. Whenever Dirk stroked him, his breathing faltered. He was shaking like a leaf under Dirk's skilled hands, despite his only practice being with his silicone packer. He continued caressing Jake's thighs, feeling up his thick gams and occasionally his ass. His taint and balls, however, were a delicacy Dirk couldn't wait to rub his face all over. Well, he could wait. Jake was the impatient one. 

    Dirk grasped Jake's thighs firmly, thumbs snug between where leg met crotch. He could see some of Jake's bush peeking out of his boxers, and his cunt clenched as he imagined the wiry curls scratching his face with Jake's hands on either side, making sure he feels it. Making sure he chokes on it. God, his briefs were going to be a mess. 

    Dirk looked up at Jake as he leaned down, taking a strong whiff of his clothed erection. Fuck. He didn't know it, but Jake absolutely could see his eyes rolling back behind his shades. "It's," he cleared his throat, trying to keep his cool, "it's unwashed."

    Jake did that stupid thing where he puts his arm behind his head. "Oh, er, sorry, I didn't—"

    "Don't worry, cleaning it is part of the inspection," Dirk said, his grip tightening slightly. He held eye contact with Jake as he moved forward, snagging the waistband with his teeth and slowly pulling it back. When Jake's dick sprung up, Dirk gasped and let go of the waistband, causing it to snap against Jake's balls.

    "Ow, fuck, Dirk! Warn a guy before yooh my god." Jake was cut off as Dirk began huffing and mouthing the base of his shaft, tongue lapping at his balls in apology. He reached up and pulled Jake's boxers down further to get more access. He tasted so salty, savory, bitter...maybe a little sour too. Dirk moaned and tried to take off his shades without breaking contact with Jake's nether regions. Thankfully, Jake helped him get them off, unceremoniously tossing them off to the side somewhere as he threw his head back, moaning loudly as Dirk kissed and nuzzled his dick closer.

    Dirk reluctantly pulled off to look up at Jake again, his face burning with pleasure. "Now...now I have to do the actual inspection. Make sure they're..." he glanced down and bit his lip to stifle himself, "...up to code." He looked back up at Jake, who stared at him slack-jawed with lidded eyes. He took heaving breaths and clenched his fists, one of his legs crossing over Dirk's back to pull him closer. The only thing that could have made it more perfect was if Jake grabbed his head and face-fucked him, made him choke and cry on it. His cunt clenched again and he huffed out a breath.

    Dirk stroked Jake's nuts before taking them into his hand. "Nice weight, must have a lot of spunk in them," he said, gently pressing his thumb down. Jake let out a choked yelp that went straight to Dirk's dick. He continued rubbing and massaging Jake's balls, watching him suck in breaths through his teeth and sigh with pleasure. His face would draw up as he inhaled, and then he'd shudder on the exhale, his shoulders shaking. It was delicious. Jake winced when Dirk's cold hands let go of his balls. "Now for the performance test."

    Dirk made sure to get Jake's attention, his eyes on him as he opened his mouth, letting his tongue hang out before licking a stripe up Jake's length. The moan that followed was music to his ears. He held eye contact with Jake as he lapped at the head, tasting the bitter precum that leaked out of it. He pursed his lips and pushed ahead, slipping the tip into his mouth. Immediately, Jake's hand went to Dirk's head, hesitating before gently playing with his hair. Dirk sucked hard in response, feeling more precum dribble onto his tongue and Jake's grip tighten. That was it; that's what he wanted. All Jake had to do was drop the formalities and get rough.

    Dirk made a show of slurping more cock into his mouth, wiggling his hips as he did so. It was wet and loud, but that's what he wanted. He wanted to make Jake as horny as possible. Wanted to see what he was like when he broke. Jake groaned above him, petting his hair as he sucked diligently. "Fuck, Dirk...good— good boy..."

    That was the kicker. Dirk moaned and practically leaped forward, taking as much as he could in. He gagged as Jake hit the back of his throat, but before he could back off, both of Jake's hands had grabbed his hair, pulling him flush with his bush. Fuck yes. Drool slipped from the corners of Dirk's mouth as Jake moaned and groaned overhead, his hips bucking against Dirk's flushed face. Dirk relaxed his throat, his moans vibrating around Jake's shaft. Jake's fast pants and huffs as he tried to hump his face without actually pulling back pulsed through Dirk's brain. This was the hottest thing ever. The only thing hotter would be–

    Dirk suddenly pulled off and Jake fell backward. "Wh– Dirk, I was– fuck, I was so close!" he said, betrayal lining his tone of arousal.

    Dirk didn't care. His hands were flying to his belt as he squeezed his thighs together. "Sh‐shut up, there's one last thing we have to test," he said, climbing onto the desk. The smell of his arousal overwhelmed the air as he dropped his pants. His briefs were soaked with slick and his cock jutted against the cotton prison. Jake's eyes widened to saucers as Dirk pulled them down, revealing his swollen cunt. "Fertility."

    Jake stumbled over his words as Dirk braced a hand on his chest, slowly lowering his hips. "Fert– Fertility. Okay, cool, cool, er– fuck." Jake's hands shook as they tried to find purchase on his swaying hips. Dirk took deep breaths as he pressed down, feeling the tip slide against him. He shuddered as the pre smeared across his lips. Jake's anxious babbles melted into a low moan as Dirk finally notched Jake inside him.

    Dirk softly groaned as he clenched around Jake's tip, slowly lowering his hips. "Fuck, so thick..." He could feel Jake's heartbeat as he slipped past a vein. The pulse slid against his walls as it slipped deeper. Jake's cock was throbbing inside him, stretching and stuffing his cunt, inch by inch. He wondered how deep it would get. His breath hitched as he started groping himself through his shirt, adding to the stimulation. He gasped when he felt Jake buck and pull him down, then let out a low groan as he bottomed out. 

    He sat perched on Jake, legs spread wide, his speared cunt and hard cocklet on display. Jake looked like he was melting. Sweat dripped down his forehead as he tried to keep his eyes on Dirk, who began to gently bob his hips. Dirk reached down and cupped his sex, his cocklet poking between his fingers. "Absolutely dwarfs mine in comparison," he said, pressing his length onto Jake's. Size difference was definitely something he was into. He made a mental note to frot with Jake next time. Next time... If getting fucked by Jake wasn't enough, now he was imagining fucking him, too. Some kind of fuck-ception, like the dick-ception that was going to happen when he would stuff his cock in Jake's foreskin and—

    Dirk's thought was immediately interrupted by Jake shoving him down and thrusting up. "Nnnnh– fuck!" Jake cried out, "Please...!" He looked up at Dirk, his eyes like a begging dog's. Dirk shuddered and grabbed Jake's shaking hands, bringing them to rest on his ass. Jake immediately squeezed them like stress balls, taking generous handfuls. He grabbed like Dirk might disappear at any moment. With that, Dirk groaned and began moving properly.

    He started off slow, savoring the feeling of sliding Jake in and out of him and the delicious moans it elicited. As he sped up, the volume and groping increased. Hands kneaded his thighs like dough, occasionally lifting off to land a stinging slap before digging in again. Soon, Dirk was moving up and down, his plump tits bouncing like in a shitty hentai. Underneath him, Jake looked like he was falling apart. His eyebrows were drawn together and his mouth hung open, letting desperate, broken moans grace Dirk's ears. Dirk couldn't take it anymore. He plunged forward, locking lips with Jake.

    Jake kissed like he was hungry, scratch that, like he was starving and Dirk was a five-course meal. The intensity of Jake plundering his mouth sent Dirk's head spinning. If he was this — talented wasn't the right word, there was no technique to it, just mindless tonguing and slurping. Whatever it was, it felt good, and Dirk couldn't help but imagine how good it'd feel in his southern hemisphere. The two of them moaned and drooled into eachother's mouths, sucking face.

    Soon, Jake pulled back. "D-Dirk, I'm close..." he whined, his cock starting to retreat from Dirk's depths. He was trying to pull out, how gentlemanly. Unfortunately, Dirk wasn't looking for a gentleman. He was looking for a creampie. He grit his teeth, slamming his hips down and clenching hard.

    After a brief moment of shock, Jake squeezed Dirk's ass tighter, speeding up his thrusts. Dirk moaned. He loved being manhandled. Suddenly, Jake let go of one of his cheeks. Dirk was about to whine in protest until he felt Jake's hand snake between them and pinch his cock hard. 

    A choked sound escaped Dirk's lips as the searing pleasure shot through him. It didn't let up, either. Jake kept yanking and tugging with one hand and groping with the other, and when one of his fingers teased Dirk's asshole, it was over. Dirk came with a loud moan. His cunt clamped down hard, making Jake feel even bigger inside of him. His whole body went fuzzy as he tried to regain full consciousness after his intense orgasm. The sounds of skin clapping and Jake huffing and moaning filled his ears. Then, following suit, Jake let out a loud yell as he slammed into Dirk. 

    Jake's hips stuttered as his yell tapered out. Soon, the two of them lay on Dirk's desk, sweaty and reeking of sex. Dirk could feel Jake absentmindedly kneading his ass as he calmed down. Then, he spoke up.
    "So, how, er, did I do?"
    "You fuckin'...passed with flying colours," Dirk huffed, grinding down and savoring the twitch Jake's poor dick gave inside him.
    "And, it's alright that I...y'know, inside..."
    "Jesus Christ, Jake, that was the whole fucking point."
    "Okay, but what if I, uh, pass the last part of the exam too?"
    "What?"
    "What if you get....well...pregnant..? Not that it wasn't the hottest thing I've ever done, just I don't think either of us are ready for—"
    "I'll get an abortion," Dirk interrupted.
    "Cripes, Dirk!"
    "I literally do not give a shit," he continued, "I will spawncamp as many little swimmers as it takes for you to keep—"
    "Okay!" Jake grimaced at Dirk's choice of words.  "I get the idea!" He sighed before returning to kneading Dirk's ass. The two of them sat there in silence, enjoying the closeness.
    "In the meantime, I'm gonna enjoy this," Dirk said, running a hand down his abdomen and giving it a little pat. 

    Dirk sighed and leaned back, basking in the sensation of Jake plugging him up. He couldn't think of anything more intimate than having another man inside of him, his man inside of him. He wanted to be inside Jake, too. He wished he could open up Jake's head, crawl inside his mind, and make a little room for himself in Jake's thoughts.

    Finally, Dirk lifted himself up, legs shaking. Pearly globs dripped out of him alongside Jake's dick as it slipped free. He was quick to swipe them up and press them to his entrance, attempting to push them back inside. Underneath him, Jake's face flushed a deep maroon as he watched with wide eyes. Dirk continued cradling his stuffed cunt as he crawled off the desk. Once he was balanced and standing, he reached down with one hand and pulled his briefs up, pulling them snug against his crotch. There was a nonzero chance that Jake's load was going to leak out and stain his underwear, and he liked those odds.

    Dirk looked back over his shoulder at Jake, who sat on his desk with parted knees, a soft dick, and a very flustered expression. His shorts and boxers dangled around his right foot. The sight was what Dirk's dreams were made of, and if he could, he'd make half-naked Jake a permanent fixture in his room.