Chapter Text
JASPER HALE, in all his years roaming this wretched earth, thought he was meant to be alone. Surely, a monster like him, who'd taken so many lives, both human and immortal, in wars he didn't morally support, deserved nothing but loneliness.
Even when he came across Alice, who changed his life for the better and led him to the Cullen clan, he knew he was destined to be alone when he saw how happy others like him could be, like Carlisle and Esme or Emmett and Rosalie.
He didn't deserve happiness. He deserved the misery that pounded against his skull every day, drowning out the constant emotions of others that passed him in day-to-day life. Between his constant, aching bloodlust and fight to control himself and his violent urges, no one's emotions would ever outweigh his own. No one would ever break through the cage he'd contained his mind and heart in.
He was content in his misery, it a penance for all his past sins.
Until he walked the halls of Forks High School that fateful day.
The wave of emotions hit him like a tidal wave on their first day, all-consuming and coming from one person. So much loneliness and pain and longing for something that he couldn't name. He held his breath, desperate to not get a whiff of human blood as he searched for the source of agony that was out of place in the crowded halls.
And there she was.
Long, blonde hair in perfect curls hanging down her back. A navy and gold cheerleading uniform on her small frame. Shiny gloss on her smiling lips that soon parted as she let out a boisterous laugh that would've been infectious if it wasn't so fake.
So fake that it left a bitter taste in his mouth that didn't even have taste buds any longer.
A group of teenagers surrounded the girl, listening as she talked animatedly about her weekend — something happened at a football game. Jasper didn't care what as he took a step closer to her.
Then he breathed, and through the nauseating scent of blood and overbearing haze of teenage emotions surrounding him, he caught her scent even from across the hall. So tantalizing, but not in the way that made him want to grab her and rip out her jugular.
No, she wasn't a blood singer, which he'd learned about from Emmett.
She wasn't tempting — in that way at least. No, this scent made his head swim, and it managed to drown out the vast sea of cloudy emotions that were always forcing their way into his head and chest. A scent so inviting and warm that it almost gave him whiplash, given that her emotions contrasted those feelings so greatly.
A scent that gave him clarity for the first time since he turned.
Margo Newton was her name, he soon learned.
And she was always miserable despite him never spotting a frown on her perfect face. It didn't matter that she was constantly laughing and making plans with friends and cheering at sporting events.
The girl was as good as dead inside, just like he was, and Jasper couldn't understand.
This girl. This perfectly human girl who volunteered at the hospital and tutored middle schoolers and was a star amongst the halls of the school was a ghost on the inside, haunting the aching, tired bones of her body. She didn't get internally excited when her twin brother scored touchdowns despite cheering. Nor did she really care as she giggled during lunch period about boys with her two best friends. Even when she beamed at the A+ she'd receive on tests, she didn't care.
The only time she did care was when she was ensuring others were happy. It didn't matter that she was exhausted by having to wake up an hour early to get ready and drive Angela Webber to school. Nor did she care when she sacrificed her personal study time to make sure Eric Yorkie knew how to do their math assignments.
Margo did so much for others, all while wishing that she wasn't doing those things. It was miserable.
And Jasper hated it for her. It made him more miserable than he already was every day, all because he cared too damn much about a girl he'd never speak to.
The chip on his shoulder was nearly visible as he sulked in the hallways, at home, in the car. Her emotions were everywhere, suffocating him even from far away. She was his mate, after all. Of course, he'd be so in tune with her even on the other side of town.
They never spoke. Never made eye contact — Jessica had tried several times to make the Cullens feel welcome that first week, but when Margo learned how they brushed her best friend off, she wasn't interested in making friends.
That was for the best, Jasper knew, as he sat at lunch every day, watching her across the cafeteria as no one paid any attention to him. He'd ruin her. He'd kill her. He'd make her more miserable than she already was deep down inside.
They were a pair — not a together pair, but a pair nonetheless. Two souls intertwined, meant for each other, roaming the earth, wishing that they weren't. Spending more time catering and controlling the emotions of others than taking care of their own.
Two miserable little beings that meant nothing to the world in the grand scheme of things, as far as they were concerned.
But you know what they say about misery.
It loves company.