Work Text:
You would think the worst part of missions would be almost dying, falling out of the sky, trying to make sure your husband is safe and your son isn’t swinging to his death, but no.
The worst part by far, is the goddamn press, which just so happens to be waiting with baited breath to interview this super hero family. The mission proved to be easy, which is why Sam and Bucky let Peter join them. The quinjet is loaded and ready to go, and it's just calling Sam’s name. He wants nothing but to shower and curl up on the couch with his son and husband, but no, all that has to wait so he can deal with the goddamn press. It really shouldn’t be such a big deal to Sam, he deals with this shit all the time and he’s incredibly media trained, really none of this stuff should affect him, but it does. Simply because Peter and Bucky cannot conduct themselves like normal human beings for five seconds.
-
Bucky can’t stand interviews. Mostly because it seems every time he gives an answer it’s the wrong one. Which makes zero sense, don't ask a question if you won’t like the answer! Whatever, Bucky wouldn't even take any questions tonight if it wasn’t for Sam getting swooped away by countless journalists and reporters. Might as well answer a couple, It can’t hurt right?
“Mr. Barnes! Just one question!” A young reporter approaches Bucky.
“Ask away.” Bucky says, he has a good feeling he’ll get this question right.
“What is it like helping Captain America raise a child?”
Oh, this one is easy.
Peter and Bucky have a great relationship, but it's always been hard for Bucky. Bucky has a fear of emotional intimacy, and the last thing he’d want to do is break Peter’s heart. The kid is too pure to deal with the baggage that Bucky carries on him daily, he doesn’t wanna hurt him. It took time for Bucky to realize that he has to let Peter in to understand him, he can't close everyone out like he so wishes too, not Peter. He wants to be there for him and be the other dad he deserves, Sam Wilson is his freaking father for god sakes, he has some shoes to fill. So, it scares Bucky at times.
This question is a walk in the park.
“Oh, children terrify me.” Easy. Nailed it.
The interview stares up at Bucky with wide eyes. They look like they’ve seen a ghost.
“Oh! Um, well wou-would you mind elaborating on that-”
Bucky had already begun to walk away. They said one question so his work there was done. Bucky was really proud of themselves. That question was too easy for him. Hm, maybe he should do interviews more often.
-
“SPIDERMAN. SPIDERMAN!” Someone yells trying to get Peter's attention. Peter had done such a great job today and he couldn't stop thinking about when he grabbed his Dad’s shield and tossed it to Bucky like the incredible family they are. Like, name a better family, I’ll wait. Exactly. Too good. Now all Peter wants to do is hug his dad and-
“SPIDERMAN SPIDERMAN, ONE MOMENT.”
Oh god what they possibly want?
“Just a couple of questions?”
Peter might as well answer a couple. Sam is swarmed by the press and so is Bucky, it can’t hurt right? “Ok, yea! Go for it.”
“So, what is it like having two super heroes as Dads?”
Ok hold, he kinda likes this question. This is a perfect opportunity to talk about how Bucky has super powers, but his dad doesn’t, and Peter just got his super powers so it's kind of been a learning curve for Peter. His household is a melting pot, so there's so much he can say. Also, Sam and Bucky come from such different walks of life, but they create such an incredible household. ohhhhhh shit this question Peter can’t possibly fuck up.
“Wow! That's a great question! Ya know, growing up in a mixed household, I’ve learned a lot from my dad and Bucky, and I think I’ve been able to appreciate all walks of life because of my home life. My Dad has taught me a lot about taking life one day at a time, and to not let people tear me down because of who I am, and for that alone I think that makes me the luckiest kid out there.”
Holy fuck bro he crushed that interview.
The interviewer takes a pause to soak up Peter’s response. “Wow, Spiderman, that was beautiful. It’s incredible to hear someone embrace their heritage. Thank you for your insight.”
“Anytime!” I guess Peter never thought of having superpowers in that way, but he definitely embraces his family's heritage so that's definitely what they meant. Man, the mission couldn’t get any better, this is the first interview where everything didn’t come crashing down and burning, literally everything he said was perfect. Peter had felt so emboldened and asked for another question.
“Are there any more questions you wanna ask?”
The reporter went to work quickly. “Yes, I had just spoken to Bucky. He had mentioned having certain thoughts about raising children, how does that make you feel?”
Hm. I mean Peter understood it. His spider abilities are scary sometimes, hell Peter scares himself 24/7, so he can't imagine what it’s like having to raise a kid with his supernatural abilities.
“I understand where he’s coming from. Sometimes my spider traits can be scary, so I would be scared if I had to raise a half spider half teenage boy.”
The reporter furiously scribbles Peter’s response down. “It must be hard to deal with your spider abilities, have you ever scared your parents?”
“Oh yea, tons of times.” That time Peter climbed the walls at three am so he could eat peanut butter on the ceiling, definitely scared the shit out of Sam, “I’m surprised they don't run away in fear everyday!” That other time Peter brought home a bunch of spiders and sat on the roof with them all day because “spiders work together.”
Yea, Peter has given them a heart attack or two.
“Spiderman, these responses have been so thoughtful. Thank you for your time!” The reporter rushes over to Sam, and Peter can’t help but think that Sam is going to be so proud once he hears what he’s said. Peter is gonna do interviews more often, this one went way too well. Just as Peter searched through the sea of reporters to scout Sam, he caught Bucky out of the corner of his eye.
“Bucky! Over here!” Bucky immediately lights and strolls over to Peter. They crash in a hug and Peter can’t help but melt into him. It's kind of a thing they all do, an unspoken prayer that says you're still alive, we’re both here.
“Hey Pete, saw you getting an interview, they give you any shit?” Peter beams up at Bucky, while some kids might find overbearing parents annoying, Peter wouldn't ask for anything else.
“Nah, I actually answered the question flawlessly, they said it was “ Beautiful” and I gave “thought insight”. I'm simply a genius.”
Bucky smiles right back at Peter. “Wow Pete, you’re practically a pro, you take after Sam.”
“Did you do any interviews Bucky?”
“Yea, I did one interview and I think it went pretty well. I think Sam will be pleased with us.”
Bucky and Peter walk off to the quinjet side by side, proud of their work.
“I think so too, Bucky.”
-
Sam is absolutely swarmed. Out of the corner of his eye he can see Bucky and Peter walking to the quinjet. Damn. Sam dog tired from the fight and wants to crawl into a hole, but he can’t, he has to remain professional answer dumbass questions like-
“What do you think about people who have doubts about you carrying the shield?” Oh great. He hasn't answered this question a thousand times.
Sam puts on his best camera ready face, “I think they have nothing to worry about. I have nothing but the people's best interest. I don't want people to put me on a pedestal, or to snuff me out, I want people to understand I'm just like them and I want nothing but to protect the people.”
Just smile and nod, Wilson. Smile and nod.
“Captain America! Just a couple of questions please!” Ok, after this he’s done. He can only handle so many micro aggressions in one night.
“Go right ahead!” Sam is mentally preparing to answer the same old questions, but that was far from what they asked.
“How does it feel to raise an upstanding African American child around Mr.Barnes who has a phobia of children?”
Wait.
What
“The fuck?”
“I’m sorry, I asked how it felt raising an-”
“I know what you said, and I'm not computing what just came out of your mouth. An upstanding African American- and Bucky is- where did you hear this????? Who the hell told you this?”
“Spiderman and Mr. Barnes, Sir, I'm sorry if that was out of line-”
Sam literally thinks he’s seeing stars. There is just no way. No way is his family this insane. Why the hell didn’t they get media trained!
The reporter must be noticing Sam tweaking out and decides to move on. “Let me just ask another question, how do you feel when your son sheds?”
Ok. He’s losing it.
“WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN"SHEDS "??”
Bless this poor reporters heart “S-Sheds like molts-”
“I know what you mean! I just- you know what? Just scrap everything you got tonight, cause I don’t know what the hell is happening. Thank you for your time.”
Sam walks away from whatever the hell he just heard. He’s going to kick himself in the ass tommorow for acting so unprofessional, but WHAT THE FUCK??!?!?!?!!? Sam is permanently banning his family from answering anymore questions, because he almost had a heart attack. What could they have possibly said to make the reporter ask him that? After taking a second to recover and one more quick picture (that probably looked like shit cause he can’t compute anything), Sam makes his way over to the quinjet with the rest of his family.
“Dad!” Peter crashes into Sam with that same soul crushing hug he gave Bucky. Sam melts into the hug and forgets for a second what just happened, "Aren't you proud of me? I did an interview today and I literally didn't mess up anything, it was flawless. Bucky did an interview too and his went great as well! I think we are doing interviews every time from now on!”
Sam jumps out of his skin, he’s been brought back to life, “Oh, HELL no. You two are permanently banned from ever answering a single question ever again!”
Peter and Bucky gape at Sam.
“What?” they say in unison.
“They asked me, and I quote, “How does it feel to raise an upstanding African American child around Mr. Barnes who has a phobia of children” and, “how does it feel when my son molts? "," What on god green earth did you tell that reporter?!?”
It's Peter's turn to look at Sam like he’s crazy.
“What the fuck? I didn't say that! I said that you taught me to embrace myself and I grew up in a mixed household?
“Mixed household?” Sam cannot believe he just said that.
“Yea, like you don't have super powers, but Bucky does and I'm still learning mine, ya know, a mixed household?
Sam laughs out loud at the absurdity, the things that come out of his son’s mouth blows his mind. “Peter, why would you word it like that? There were a million better ways to say that other than saying mixed household, they thought you were mixed.”
“ Wait no, I didn’t mean it like that. Oh god I thought that I actually did good this time.”
“Wow Peter, you really dropped the ball." Bucky laughed.
Sam and Peter both swivel to Bucky. “Oh no young man, you're not getting away so easily.” Sam points at Bucky.
“Hey, all I said was that children terrify me.” Bucky states plainly.
“Bucky! Why would you say that! That’s not - what?” Sam feels his brain melting.
“What! they do!” Bucky exclaims.
Peter turns to Bucky and flashes his boba eyes “Wait, I scare you Bucky?”
Bucky rushes to comfort Peter, he thinks he’s gonna hit the floor. Damn Peter and Sam for having those big boba eyes.
“What no! Why would you think that Pete?”
“You just said children terrify you!” Peter says frantically.
“Well that's not what I meant! I meant- whatever, that reporter doesn’t know what they are talking about, Sam.”
“You know what? I’m just mind blowingly confused on how you two can play the most fucked up game of telephone known to man. You guys are insane. No more interviews until I get y’all some media training classes.”
“No!” Peter and Bucky say in unison.
Welp. fuck it all to hell I guess.
What am I gonna do with you two?” Sam grabs both Bucky and Peter, they may be idiots, they’re his idiots goddamn it.