Chapter Text
“Banned from the creche, you are.”
Slowly, Plo turned around to face the moldy raisin currently scolding him.
“And for what reason, Master Yoda?”
As two of the oldest members of the Jedi Order, both Plo and Yoda had the joy of raising many Jedi, several of which now sit beside them on the council. The two quickly bonded over the fact, sharing many tea sessions reminiscing on old memories and friends. Once upon a time, Plo might’ve even considered Yoda as one of his closest colleagues, perhaps even as a friend.
But then the “spine of steel” Master Yoda was infamous for slowly turned into a massive stick up his ass. Long gone were the days of Yoda leading passionate debates against the Senate. Now, he sits in his little high chair of audacity, whispering in the ears of Master Windu to comply with every miniscule demand.
The Senate wants some Jedi to act as their bodyguards even though the Jedi are a peace-keeping organization?
The Jedi will be there in five minutes!
The Senate wants the Jedi to negotiate trading plans with a “rebellious system” even though the plans will completely overhaul the system’s economy?
Of course, we’ll get right to it!
The Senate wants the Jedi to get rid of their armor? The armor that protects them? The armor that allows them to do the banthashit insane missions the Senate keeps sending them on?
It’ll be melted down by noon!
And don’t get Plo started on the “attachment” issue. Master Yoda couldn’t see the difference between love and attachment if it bent down to punch him in the face.
Attachment is when you enjoy the feeling of loving someone more than the act of actually loving them. Attachment is stopping your life for the sake of someone else, or even worse: stopping another’s life just to satisfy your own desires. Attachment is selfish. It breeds a path to jealousy, and hate, and the darkside.
But to love someone is to live a life that doesn’t fight to surround them, but to simply keep them in your orbit. To love is to watch your children leave your home to bigger and better places; to watch your friends fall in love, get into fights, and be there for every single stupid decision; to remember your partner’s favorite things and habits out of practice rather than memorization.
Love is keeping another in your heart rather than your hands. When you love someone, you do not make decisions just to keep them in your grasp, you make decisions for yourself, knowing that you have their guidance to make it through.
Yes, the force sensitivity of the Jedi enables them to feel the emotions of others around them and their own emotions tenfold. Yes, this creates situations of others being harmed due to the intensity of their feelings. Does that mean the Jedi should bury their feelings and forbid love?
No! Obviously kriffing not! But for some reason whenever Plo brings it up, Yoda’s long and hypersensitive ears seem to curl in on themselves, no matter how pleased the Force seems to be.
The slam of a walking stick hitting Plo’s skin took him out of his rumination. With a squawk, Plo jumped back from the old Grandmaster, hackles rising as Yoda laughed.
“Daydreaming, you are. Unlike you, that is.”
Plo fought to keep both his expression and Force presence under control. Even looking at the old troll made his blood pressure rise.
“I’m sorry Master, may you please repeat your statement?”
With a huff, Yoda hit the stick on the ground forcefully.
“Too attached to that youngling, you are. Need time to meditate over your behavior, you do.”
Yes, there it was. Plo was wondering when this conversation was gonna come. After Depa posted that picture of him sneaking through the hallways to deliver young Obi-Wan back to the creche (to the misery of Master Vant and the great amusement of both Vokara and Jocasta), Plo had been “under investigation” by the council. However, because Plo Koon was, well, Plo Koon, the council, quite frankly, couldn’t do shit besides tell him not to “kidnap the youngling out of the creche” again (or really, send Mace to his quarters in the middle of the night to tell him not to do it again.)
(Naturally, Plo did it again. And again. And again. Just to ensure young Obi-Wan has a full night’s rest of course. No other reason.)
(There have been many times where Plo had been face to face with one of the temple guards or a fellow Jedi while in his pajamas and fluffy socks. However, Mace either bribed them or intimidated them into silence. Plo really needs to send that fruit basket).
Another wack to his shin made Plo briefly consider turning to the darkside, attachment or not. Yoda shook his head.
“Slow, you are. Need to do better, you do.”
Hit me again, and I will turn that walking stick into a training saber.
With a slight twitch in his eye (and great strength in containing his Force presence), Master Plo bowed.
“Of course Master. I will no longer step foot in the creche while young Obi-Wan is there.”
---
“MACE YOU NEED TO SIGN THESE.”
Sighing, Mace Windu pinched the bridge of his nose. He had been having a decently good day too: the meeting with the Senators had been fairly short for once, there were no council meetings today, and Mace could finally get to his paperwork.
Of course, at that moment, Plo Koon just had to walk into the room, carrying a shatterpoint with him.
Plo slammed his stack of papers on Mace’s desk (and really, there was no need for that). Mace took a moment to curse any and every Force god out there before he opened his eyes to glare at him.
“And what am I signing?”
Plo smiled, but it wasn’t his “Yoohoo, I’m just an old, innocent Kel Dor totally not planning on trying to adopt you” smile, but his “I am here to make your life infinitely harder and there is nothing you can do to stop me” smile.
“Field trip forms of course.”
Mace took a paper in his hands and began to skim through it. Then he skimmed through the next one. And the next one.
“Plo, these field trip forms are just to parts of the temple.” Plo smiled.
“It appears so.” Mace stared at Plo. Plo stared back.
“You don’t need field trip forms to go through the temple.”
Plo’s smile seemed to widen (frightening thing to witness when you take in account the mask that somehow fails to limit his facial expressions).
“You would be correct dear one. In any other case, field trip forms only need to be signed when one is trying to take younglings to trips outside of the temple. However, according to the Page 6, Section 6 of the Jedi handbook, it explicitly states that field trips forms need to be signed when taking younglings anywhere out of the creche, not just out of the temple.” Mace narrowed his eyes as Plo continued.
“After my extensive talk with Master Yoda, there has been a temple-wide ban on me entering the creche. However, there was no discussion banning Obi-Wan from leaving it. But to ensure that there are no more…internal conflicts…I have acquired field trip forms so that I may file them every time Obi-Wan wishes to travel, with me as his sole chaperone of course.” Mace put his head in his hands.
“Plo, are you asking me to sign documents allowing you access to a youngling you have been very obviously banned from speaking to that not only allow you to take him anywhere you want in the temple but also at any time you want, not just your midnight kidnappings?” Plo nodded his head.
“I am also asking you to keep the subject quiet. These documents are simply insurance so the council can’t charge me for breaking any laws or whatnot.”
Mace let his head bang on the desk. He needed a drink. A very, very, strong whiskey. Perhaps even some vodka, straight from the bottle. The action seemed to only encourage Plo to move forward.
“Now, you can either sit here and go through all 730 papers in this stack - as each paper can only be used for one trip, day or night - or you can sign this one, single, very easy document right here.”
Pulling a scroll from his robe (and he calls Mace dramatic), Plo gently sets it in front of Mace’s resting head. Perhaps if Mace stays still long enough, he’ll go away. But after two minutes of silence (and a raging headache from Plo’s shatterpoint-seriously what is this man planning), Mace sighs and lifts his head. He pulls the small gold bow holding the scrolling together and unravels the paper. Inside is a single statement and four signature lines, Plo’s signature filling one of them.
“I, MACE WINDU, AS MASTER OF THE JEDI ORDER, ALLOW MASTER PLO KOON TO ESCORT INITIATE OBI-WAN KENOBI OUT TO ALL AREAS OF THE TEMPLE AS HIS SOLE CHAPERONE IN ALL TIMES OF DAY AND NIGHT - EFFECTIVE UNTIL VOKARA CHE, DONIN VANT, OR I DEEM MASTER PLO KOON AS DANGEROUS AND/OR UNFIT FOR DUTY.
Mace slowly raised his head up to Plo.
“Plo, no one is going to take this seriously. Some of the council members might even call for your expulsion just for the sheer audacity.” Plo shook his head fondly.
“Yes my dear, but are they Master of the Order?” At Mace’s silence, he plowed through.
“I think both you and the other council members are forgetting who really makes the calls. Yoda may be Grandmaster, but truly it is only a figurehead position. You are the one who distributes missions, meets with Senators and outside organizations, files out of inventory forms, and so much more. And while the council members may not like the decisions you make, or the forms you sign, there is ultimately nothing they can do.”
Plo locked eyes with Mace.
“They can complain all they want, but they voted for you as Head of the Jedi Order. They gave over their power to you. I believe some of them need to be reminded of that.”
Mace gave Plo a long look. The Force didn’t give any negative impression of what Plo said. If anything, the Force seemed excited (which is a bit of an overreaction regarding the situation). And truly, it wasn’t a super large shatterpoint Plo was carrying, meaning that Mace’s actions here wouldn’t affect the grand scheme of things too much. If anything, it just meant that Plo would find a way around his ban, whether Mace approves or not.
Sighing, Mace summoned his pen with the Force. Plo tried not to look too smug (and failed miserably). Mace signed the document quickly, and threw the paper back at Plo.
“Be gone now, I have important work to do.” Plo nodded swiftly.
“Of course, I wouldn’t want to bother you during your work hours after all. However, you should join me for tea time later. I’ll make that exotic tea that you like so much.” With that, Plo scurried off, looking far too much like a tooka got the cream.
Once the door shut, Mace sighed again, slowly sinking down in his seat and closing his eyes. Perhaps he should take a nap. He deserves one.
Finally, peace at last.
“Damn, he really played you like kloo horn.”
Peace for about 30 seconds. New record really.
Cracking an eye open, he looked over at the door. Depa had her head peeked through, a teasing grin on her face.
“Heard all of that, didn’t you?” Depa rolled her eyes.
“Obviously, these walls aren’t as paper thin as some of our fellow Jedi believe. Don’t worry, my lips are sealed this time. I learned my lesson after the last time I exposed a deep secret of Plo’s.”
As Depa shuddered, Mace massaged the sides of his head. You would think once your padawan was knighted, they’d be more independent and out of your personal life. However, it seems like becoming a knight only allowed Depa deeper into his business.
“Was there anything substantial you wanted to add?” Depa snapped out of her very traumatic flashbacks.
“Nah, just wanted to ask why you decided to sign the form."
Mace paused. Why did he sign the damn form? Plo was gonna get his way no matter what, yet Mace had singlehandedly made it his problem. Finally, Mace shrugged.
“The old troll has it coming for him.” Depa laughed.
“Ah, pettiness! The true power of the Jedi!” As Depa walked away, she called back to him. “By the way, you should tell Plo to bring the little tyke to tea, I wanna know what the big deal is.”
Mace was about to reject the idea, but he hesitated.
Well it would only piss the the council off more...they might call for my expulsion at this rate.
With that, Mace picked up his com.