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1.
LA had started as just another stop on the Evan Buckley soul searching tour of the America’s but there was something about the ‘On a Roll’ bakery that really took his fancy. He’d only stopped there in pursuit of a morning coffee and croissant but after seeing how understaffed they were for the morning rush he’d offered to help out and 4 hours later he’d been offered a job right on the spot.
He had no roots in LA having only rolled in three days ago and he’d been sleeping in the back of his car since. The owner of the Bakery, Devon, had come to understand this of the man before him and had offered up his spare room in exchange for Evan working open and close with him so he wouldn’t need to keep bribing his regulars to take those shifts.
Three weeks passed by and he was still in LA, still living with Devon, and still working at the bakery. He’d adopted the nickname of Buck following one too many shifts alongside Evan Johnson who’d worked there for years and had taken seniority on the naming front. He didn’t mind, Buck seemed to fit him better than Evan ever did.
Weeks turned to months and Buck found himself surprised by how much he settled into LA living, he’d not lived anywhere this long since he left Hershey with nothing but Maddie’s jeep to his name. Speaking of his sister, he’d since found out that she had also found her way to LA after she’d popped in one morning and promptly dropped her coffee on the floor after spotting those unforgettable blue eyes peek out through the kitchen hatch.
Things were finally starting to feel right, all the best parts of his life had managed to converge in a new city halfway across the country from where his journey began. LA was no longer just a stop on the map, it was slowly becoming a destination.
It was a quiet Tuesday afternoon so only Buck and another member of staff, Hailey, were in the bakery tending to what few customers trickled in the door and working their way through chores to make the close easier. Hailey was manning the front of house as Buck worked on a tray of cupcakes in the back, the shift had been going well. Nothing was burnt, no one kicked up a fuss at the latest price increase on anything containing chocolate, it was an easy shift as Tuesday afternoons went.
So it really was only a matter of time until something went disastrously wrong. Buck had just dropped a new batch of macarons into the front counter and refilled the coffee bean grinders when he saw it. Flames flickering around the oven starting to climb the walls and flood the countertops.
His feet moved faster than his brain and he was rushing into the kitchen towards danger, calling out to the 3 customers dotted across the tables to evacuate now. Hailey pulled out her phone and dialled 9-1-1, Buck losing the sound of the conversation he was having with dispatch over the roar of the flames as he charged over to the fire extinguisher trying to ignore the sharp tickle of flames burning across his skin.
He fumbled with the safety pin and tamper seal between coughs, holding his breath as smoke began to choke him out he aimed the nozzle loosely at the flames in one hand as his other bore down on lever trying to douse as much of the fire as he could.
“LAFD,” a gruff voice called out behind him, the smoke was getting to him, he could just about notice the firefighters passing by in front of him as he became dizzy. Only the strong hands taking the fire extinguisher from his own grip and guiding him out the store were able to ground him enough to stay awake. He let himself be sat down in the back of the ambulance and took his first deep breath in god knows how long once an oxygen mask was strapped over his mouth.
The man before him stood tall in an authoritative stance, he removed his helmet and placed it beside Buck in the ambulance finally allowing Buck a chance to see the man who pulled him out of the smoke. Even through his lightly dazed state he found himself tracing the features of this man's face - the soft ruffled helmet hair contrasted the firm demeanour he exuded, his light stubble framing the warm smile the firefighter seemed to be attempting to stave off. He possessed a level of charm only seen in black and white classic cinema. This might just be the most beautiful man he’s ever seen.
“How are you feeling?” The firefighter asked, taking a step forward and pulling a glove from his right hand and placing two bare fingers to Buck’s pulse point, “a little fast, not unexpected after fighting what I expect is your first fire?” he continued softly.
Buck pinched the oxygen mask away from his face and looked up at the man in front of him “Feeling much better now,” he replied with a silky tone to his voice.
“Yeah?” the firefighter said back, “Anything hurt?” he asked.
“I’m fine,” Buck replied, being caught out by the wince brought on as the pain finally registered in his forearm as it brushed against his button up’s sleeves. The firefighter pulled the mask back over Buck’s face as he passed him to gather some supplies from the ambulance drawers. Buck took the opportunity to glance back at the man giving him such care and attention, finding ‘DIAZ’ stamped across the base of his jacket unlocking another part of the puzzle.
The firefighter found himself again standing in front of Buck with sterile blue latex gloves now in place of his previous fire resistant ones, “can I take a look?” he asked, gesturing to Buck’s sleeve.
“You could at least buy me dinner first before asking me to take off my clothes Firefighter Diaz,” Buck teased with a cheeky smirk as he slipped the oxygen mask off, feeling it slip behind his head. The firefighter chuckled softly in response, no longer fighting back against the smile crawling across his cheeks.
“It’s just Eddie, and you don’t need to take your whole shirt off, just roll up the sleeve. Unless you need me to do that for you?” the firefighter responded letting a little too much fondness slip through his professional exterior as he was waiting for Buck to snap into action. He didn’t, so Eddie placed down what he was holding and stepped between Buck’s legs to close the gap enough to undo the button of the cuff and begin rolling the sleeve up with the utmost care.
“Thank you,” Buck said quietly as Eddie began cleaning and dressing the burn after assessing the damage done, “I mean I know this is your job, but thank you,” he continued.
“Thank you for what you did in there,” Eddie replied, leaving his full focus on the job at hand.
“What? Starting - ow - an oven fire?” Buck scoffed as Eddie’s fingers brushed slightly too hard against a sensitive spot of skin.
“Sorry, and no. Fires like that happen all the time especially with older equipment like what you’ve got there. The thank you was for how much you managed to stop the fire spreading, made easy for us. Plus, you’ll probably have the kitchen back after a deep clean and a replacement oven,” Eddie explained, finally looking back up at Buck once the bandage was securely wrapped around his arm, he watched as the expression softened on his face like it was the first time he’d been told something so kind.
“I just did what needed to be done, what anyone would’ve done,” Buck shrugged.
“You’d be surprised, not everyone can act that fast in the face of danger,” Eddie offered as he watched a light glow behind his patient's baby blues, “now given that you weren’t going to tell me about that burn should I assume you won’t come to the hospital with us and get checked over for the smoke inhalation?” he asked moving around Buck to put away the previously discarded oxygen mask.
“I’m okay Eddie,” Buck defended.
“Okay, you seem alright so I’ll let you off. But if you start to feel worse get yourself down to a hospital,” Eddie stated, pulling back into firefighter mode.
“Yes sir,” Buck teased raising to his feet and getting to now take in Eddie from a new angle, he is tall, but not quite as tall as Buck, not quite as broad either - however well built - and yet he still seemed to consume every inch of Buck’s vision in the moment, “or I could always call 9-1-1 and get you to check me over again, my sister works at dispatch so I’m sure I could convince her to send you,” he continued grimacing slightly as his tongue ran through the soot on his lip as it swept across in enjoyment.
“Faking an emergency is a felony,” Eddie retorted with no real venom in his voice as he stepped aside to let Buck free to get back to his day, “but if you do need us again just come across to the firehouse, 118, always up for visitors,” he added with a smile.
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Buck replied with an unmovable grin, “but I suppose I should hope not to need firefighters again right?” he laughed.
“Probably,” Eddie chuckled back, “well I uh, I hope I don’t see you around then,” he continued to laugh.
“Yeah, same to you,” Buck’s laugh carried until he was well out of earshot of Eddie. He met back up with Hailey who had been on the phone with Devon updating him on the situation and asking what he wanted them to do. They watched the firetruck and ambulance drive away on to whoever needed saving next and waved off the remaining customers. And if Buck checked how far station 118 was from Devon’s place whilst they waited, that's between him and his search history.
2.
The bakery would be closed for 2 weeks whilst they got in a company to clear out the smoke smell from the kitchen and install a new kitchen, it was 3 days into the time off that Buck started to go stir crazy. So he found himself driving down the freeway with Maddie in the passenger seat headed to do some cliche LA sightseeing, after the blip of the fire this was a nice reminder that life was going well.
This thought was cut short when a car flipped across 3 lanes ahead of them. Buck fought hard with the wheel trying to avoid joining the pile up of cars or spiralling into a fresh accident of their own. The jeep eventually came to a stop against the centre reservation blocking the passenger door from being opened. Both Buckleys sat trying to calm their breaths for more than a short moment.
“Mads, Mads, are you okay?” Buck panicked checking over her across the console.
“I-I’m fine Buck, are you hurt?” Maddie asked back equally as concerned.
“I’m fine,” he replied through still laboured breaths. Before any more words could be exchanged a fireball spat up at the sky from one of the cars involved in the accident, “call 9-1-1,” he demanded with a gravel in his voice as he jumped out his car and began to run across the road to start assessing the scene. Maddie follows along soon behind once she’s given dispatch all the necessary information they’d need.
“Help should be here soon,” Maddie called out to Buck as she approached him trying to pull the crushed door off of the flaming vehicle, “Buck they’ll be here soon,” she repeated trying to pull him away from the danger.
“The car could blow at any second Mads, they might not be soon enough.” Buck snapped back as he walked away from the car just long enough to crowd Maddie away from the danger, “try and get everyone else out to safety. I’ll be okay,” he requested, watching her reluctantly walk away and begin work shuffling anyone who could walk over to the edge of the street, she delegated crowd control to the person she deemed most sensible before running back to Buck side as he was still trying to get into the crushed car.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Maddie insisted, “Not if you’re not,” she added, giving Buck an ultimatum she knew he only had one answer to.
“Okay, but stand back a moment. Cover your face,” Buck requested, pulling off his jacket and roughly wrapping it around his fist, luckily being able to use the opposite arm to the one decorated with a burn from his last foray into fire. He smashed through the glass of the rear window behind the driver's side and began calling out to the woman trapped inside, “HEY, HEY, CAN YOU HEAR ME?”
“What’s happening?” Maddie rejoined Buck swapping places with him so she could reach in far enough to check for a pulse, “she’s alive, but the pulse is weak, we need help,” she continued looking back at Buck with pleading in her eyes.
And as they locked eyes in that moment her wish was answered by the sound of a firetruck horn blared behind them. Maddie breathed a sigh of relief as Buck stepped back to wave them down, the first thing he noticed was the numbers across the front of the engine - 118, next he saw Eddie again rushing over with heavy equipment in hand. He was followed by an older man shouting orders and directions to the team and a young man carrying a backboard.
“LAFD please step back so we can work,” the oldest man requested, he was now close enough for Buck to make out the ‘captain’ on his helmet, “are either of you injured?” he asked now that they were a clear distance from the vehicle.
“We’re fine,” Buck answered for the both with a quick glance back at Maddie in case he’d missed anything in the adrenaline.
“What’s your names?” he asked.
“I’m Buck, this is my sister Maddie,” Buck replied with hesitation.
“Should I take it that you two handled the crowd control?” the captain asked.
“Yeah, she’s a dispatcher and I’m a danger magnet so we’re kinda used to this I guess,” Buck answered as he rubbed a hand across the back of his neck exposing the scattering of cuts he got from the broken glass.
“Did you break that window Buck?” the captain continued to inquire softly as he nodded at Buck’s outstretched arm.
“I was trying to get her out and we couldn’t so I at least wanted to be able to talk to her right? Let her know she wasn’t alone, she was already out of it by the time we got to her” Buck defended bracing for the impact of the older man’s disapproval.
“You did good, kid, but you do need to get that looked at. We’ve got it from here, why don’t you head over there to the best paramedics in the LAFD, tell them Bobby sent you,” the older man advised, no anger at Buck’s actions, just concern for his wellbeing, “and I trust that you’ll ensure he gets checked out Maddie?” he asked, turning his attention to her.
“Oh I’ll make sure of it,” she teased back, taking a step closer to wrap an arm around her brother’s shoulders as she started to guide them away from the accident site. Buck stopped dead in his tracks for a moment as he swivelled back to the fire captain he had now learnt was called Bobby.
“Um, could you tell Eddie I say hi,” Buck asked feeling himself cringe at his own teenager-with-a-crush behaviour, “your team responded to a bakery fire last week and Eddie treated me then so um just think it’s worth letting him know I didn’t die from smoke inhalation or whatever,” he rambled trying to explain his request.
Bobby had a warm smile in response glancing back at his firefighters mid extraction before looking back at Buck “I’ll let him know, but given the time it’ll take to get you bandaged up you’ll probably have the chance to talk to him yourself.”
“Yeah, I mean I’ll be uh over there so I’ll try and catch him if he’s free,” Buck continued to ramble only being stopped by his sister pulling him back in the right direction.
“So, Eddie,” Maddie teased as they walked across the freeway to the temporary triage station, “what’s the story there?”
“It’s like I said, he treated me when the Bakery kitchen went up,” Buck answered, trying to sound as casual as he could.
“Is he cute?” Maddie asked seeing Buck near enough jump out of his skin at her blazenness.
“Maddie, oh my god I was hurt and my job was at risk and you think I was focused on whether or not the person wrapping my injury was …cute?” Buck whined back, Maddie simply giving him a knowing look and that’s all it took to break down her brother's walls, “yeah he’s cute. Well no he’s a greek sculpture come to life actually.”
Maddie giggled but they’d reached the ambulance before she had time to taunt any further, “hi, Bobby sent us over here. My baby brother smashed a car window,” she intervened, keeping good to her word that Buck would get checked out.
A female firefighter walked over, “Hi I’m Hen, can I take a look at your hand?” she asked, offering an open grip for Buck to place his arm into.
“Sure, I’m Buck,” he answered, extending his bloodied limb towards her.
“Buck? You don’t happen to work at a bakery do you?” She asked as she began cleaning out the small incisions.
“Does burning down a kitchen get you some kind of recognition,” Buck laughed back between stings.
“No we see that every day, what does get you recognition is making Eddie Diaz blush for days on end,” Hen chuckled.
“Oh? He’s um, he’s talked about me?” Buck asked not caring how needy this might be coming off.
Hen just smiled back as her eyes locked onto something over her shoulder, “well why don’t you ask him yourself?”
“Buck?” Eddie’s voice rang out behind him before he came to a stop beside Hen, “I thought I told you to just come down to the station if you wanted to see us again,” he smiled.
“Well see I thought about that but figured this would be easier,” Buck snarked.
“Were you in the crash?” Eddie asked, his tone shifting from playful to concern as he remembered why they’d run into each other today.
“No, no, we were a few cars back. Just tried to do what we could to help out,” Buck explained, trying to not think too hard about the way his words settled the evident worry on the other man's face.
“We?” Eddie asked, causing Buck to suddenly realise Maddie had left his side some time ago. He spotted her crouching beside someone laid out on the hard floor giving CPR, a paramedic was similarly crouched on the other side of the patient pumping a bag over his mouth.
“Me and my sister,” he replied gesturing to the medical scene playing out before them much to the disapproval of Hen who was still attempting to provide medical care through this interaction.
“The one from dispatch?” Eddie asked, paying no mind to Hen’s raised eyebrow at the familiarity between these two men.
“Yeah, she was a nurse before that. Useful under pressure,” Buck praised.
“Guess that runs in the family then,” Eddie remarked as they both watched on as Maddie and the paramedic got the patient breathing on their own with a shared sigh of relief.
“You’re all good to go if that’s the only injury,” Hen broke through the growing tension.
“Yep, just this. Both arms out of commission now,” Buck laughed weakly as Hen flashed him a smile and left the men alone. Bobby had begun recalling his team and advising anyone well enough that they could drive on or start making alternative arrangements if their vehicle wasn’t fit to get back on the road.
“Now, I mean it this time Buck. Keep out of danger. I don’t want to see you on a call again alright?” Eddie looked at him with genuine sincerity behind his eyes as he asked Buck for the one thing no one had asked him to do in such explicit words.
“I will try my best Eddie but it just seems to find me no matter how far I run,” Buck exhaled. A hand came up to his shoulder, he traced the line of it confirming what he already knew - it was Eddie’s.
“Maybe the running is what’s leading you into danger, why don’t you try staying still for a bit,” Eddie suggested softly, not being aware of how important these words are to Buck. He was staying in LA because he found a job he enjoyed filled with people he liked to be around. Right now he didn’t have that job, it was the perfect opportunity to run again and find somewhere new.
But for the first time ever he didn’t want to run anymore. He had his sister back, he had a new life slowly forming in LA, and some part of him wanted to stay just in hopes of seeing Eddie again. Hopefully next time under better circumstances.
3.
The bakery had been back open a week and whilst Buck still enjoyed working there he started to feel a nagging urge for more so after a late night facebook deep dive he found a local dog shelter looking for volunteers. So he found himself on a sunny Sunday morning replenishing bowls of water and swapping out dirty puppy pads for clean ones. It was what he needed, a way to feel useful and make a difference.
They had no viewings booked in today so when the bell chimed from reception it caught Buck off guard, the other worker was off site on their lunch break so Buck came out from the cages to greet the patron but when he was approaching the main entrance there was no one to be seen. Instead what Buck was greeted by was a smell he was becoming far too familiar with recently - smoke.
In reception he found a small amount of glass shards scattered across the tiles and fire burning its way across the room, he pulled out his phone and dialled 9-1-1 feeling a pang of guilt when Maddie answered the call. Once he was assured that help was coming he struck up a plan.
He couldn’t get all the dogs out, the fire would only continue spreading whilst he went through manually unlocking all the cages and then he’d have a pack of frightened dogs to try and direct. So he did the next best thing and ran to wet whatever towels he could find so he could stuff them against the slim gap at the bottom of the door to the dog area.
Buck used his own body to help block the door, trying to ignore the whining of the animals behind him - he couldn’t help them more than this. He could hardly even help himself right now. He just had to lay there trying to cover his mouth with his t-shirt and hope that the firefighters would get to him before the flames did.
At some point he slipped out of consciousness, he became acutely aware of this when his eyes flutter back open as he’s being carried out. Around him he can see signs of the room that was once reception, but the damage is far less fixable than the bakery kitchen had. He feels nauseated at how little he helped to stop the burning compared to before, his focus was just on the dogs and then he collapsed before he could do anything more.
Once they were clear of the building he felt himself being placed on a stretcher where he finally managed to hold his eyes open long enough to focus. Looking up he saw the firefighter who’d carried him out of a burning building like he weighed nothing and even through his helmet visor and breathing apparatus he could recognise the deep brown eyes that have been haunting his dreams recently.
It was Eddie.
“Ed-d-die,” Buck coughed out quietly as he weakly tried to raise his hand towards the man above him. Eddie dropped the apparatus from his mouth and softly wrapped his hand around Buck’s coaxing it back down onto his chest.
“Shh, it’s okay. Don’t try and speak, you’re going to the hospital this time. No disagreeing,” Eddie replied absentmindedly rubbing his gloved thumb over the back of Buck’s hand.
“Come, c-come with m-me…” Buck strained gripping the other man's hand harder. He saw Eddie’s gaze drift away from him to something across the carpark before he nodded his head in approval and settled his gaze back on Buck.
“I’m not going anywhere,” Eddie assured.
“Dogs…” Buck tried to ask, Eddie having now relented on keeping him from talking.
“The fire doesn’t seem to have spread that far, we’ll know more once we can push past the main one in reception,” Eddie explained, “you did a good job with the towels.”
Buck could feel himself being pulled under again, the next time he woke they were no longer outside and Eddie was no longer holding his hand. The harsh hospital lights above him burned his retinas and the sound of someone entering the room didn’t help much either.
“Glad to see you’re awake,” a woman spoke into the room, “I am detective Athena Grant with the LAPD, mind if I ask a few questions about the fire?” she asked, presenting her badge for Buck’s peace of mind.
“Sure, I didn’t start it,” Buck immediately defended, causing his heart rate to sky rocket on the machine beside him, “I keep being at fires recently, I don’t know why but please believe me I haven’t started any of them.”
“Okay, breathe, let’s start from the beginning, what’s your name?” Athena soothed standing at the foot of the bed with her notebook in hand.
“Buck - sorry - Evan Buckley, Buck’s a nickname,” he replied. They went through the details of the fire, the glass he found suspecting it could’ve started from a molotov. Athena confirmed his suspicions, advising it was being treated as Arson, “who tries to burn down an animal shelter?” Buck scoffed in disgust.
“That’s classified,” Athena replied, “but we have caught our lead suspect and your testimony should help get them put away.”
“What’s going to happen to the dogs?” Buck asked.
“They’ll be distributed to other shelters, we’ll do our best to ensure they all find somewhere to go,” Athena explained seeing a sadness across the man's face, “look that’s all we need from you, did you want me to send your visitors in?”
“Visitors?” Buck’s head snapped up in surprise, Maddie was at work but she’d probably leave if she could to be at his side but Athena specifically used the plural, so who else was here, “uh yeah send them in,” he gave in to his own curiosity.
Athena left the room and soon Maddie was pushing her way through the door, Buck smiled at the familiar face, his jaw turned agape once he saw who was following behind her. Eddie was here, still in uniform, soot settled in his hair from the fire. Still gorgeous.
“Hi,” Buck said, looking only at Eddie as he stood leaning against a wall with a smirk on his face.
“Hi,” Eddie replied, locking Buck’s gaze with his own.
“Could’ve stayed at work,” Maddie joked, pulling both men’s attention to her.
“Sorry Mads,” Buck coughed, “how’s it going?” he asked, gaining a pointed look from her.
“I’m not the one that’s been involved in his 3rd fire in a month,” Maddie replied.
“Well I’m sure Eddie’s been in more fires than that this week,” Buck tried to reason.
“I’m a firefighter bud, it’s kind of my job to do that,” Eddie piped up with a small chuckle.
“I’m sorry,” Buck mumbled to the room.
“Don’t be sorry okay, you’re not choosing to keep getting in danger - although Athena did say you pleaded not guilty to arson five times during your interview with her so I have to wonder if you think you’re doing this on purpose,” Eddie quipped.
“I think I’m cursed,” Buck replied, with no humour in his voice.
“That’s-that’s not a thing Buck,” Eddie stated flatly.
“Then how do you explain this?”
“Old oven, stupid LA drivers, guy pissed that his ex wife stole his dog and gave it up for adoption a week later.”
“Wait THAT’S why someone torched the shelter?” Buck blurted out, “what sense does that make?”
“Think he was hoping you’d release the dogs and he could take his back, they found him nearby with a crate and some treats in his car,” Eddie answered.
“And he’d just risk all those other dogs dying just to get his back? Maybe his ex-wife stole the dog for a reason, Jesus," Buck muttered.
“He also could’ve killed you,” Eddie pointed out, the words leaving his mouth like it was the most important thing he had to say.
“I may be cursed but I’m also kinda unbreakable, you don’t need to worry about me,” Buck hit back with Maddie giving a nod that wordlessly told a thousand childhood stories.
“I believe you, but I’m going to worry anyways,” Eddie replied listening intently to the sound of Buck’s heart rate slowly increasing knowing his own is matching it beat for beat.
“Maybe I’ll just need to stop giving you reasons to worry about me then,” Buck said back.
“Hmm, I doubt that will happen but I’m hoping you’ll prove me wrong,” Eddie laughed back before glancing down at his watch, “I have to get back to work now, keep out of trouble Buck,” he added.
“Well maybe if you stopped showing up when I did it’d be less tempting to get into it,” Buck teased as he watched Eddie start to shuffle back out of the room with a soft laugh - Buck wishes he could bottle that noise.
“Nice seeing you again Maddie, keep him safe,” Eddie laughed off Buck’s response.
“I think that’s becoming your job,” she teased. The door shut behind him leaving just the siblings in the hospital room, “so when are you going to ask him on a date that doesn’t start as a medical emergency?” she asked Buck.
“He’s just doing his job,” Buck stated.
“He got a call whilst we were in the waiting room from his captain asking Eddie to head back into work, that was more than 45 minutes before he actually left Buck. This is not just more than his job, it’s more than the accommodations his job can reasonably give him. He wanted to be here with you,” Maddie smiled softly, “All I’m saying is I managed to get that paramedic - Chimney’s - number at the car pile up. You've seen Eddie, what, three times now and you still only see him when you’re in a burning building.”
“I’ll work on it,” Buck relented. He was discharged 2 days later, he did not go to the firehouse.
4.
Almost 5 weeks had passed since the fire claimed one of the bakery ovens and they'd since reopened back to full capacity, however during the wait a number of casuals had moved on to alternative employment leaving some gaps Buck was happy to fill.
Most notably he was now in charge of the morning bread delivery to local schools and cafes. It was an easy job just: drive to the drop off location, get the invoice signed, move on to the next place all whilst blaring his favourite songs down the streets of LA.
And this of course gave him plenty of time with his thoughts, thoughts that were centred on one face in particular. Buck had realised he was bisexual during his travels - namely his stint as a bartender in Peru - so it was no surprise to him that he was attracted to Eddie Diaz.
What was surprising was how all encompassing his attraction was, he'd never felt anything like this before. He's hooked up with more people than he'd care to try and estimate but that wasn't what he wanted with Eddie. When he looked at him the lust was second to the need to keep seeing him forever, visions of sleepy mornings under duvets and late nights on the couch. Sometimes his mind would drift further to rings on fingers and the patter of little feet down the halls but he knew he was getting ahead of himself and pulling up in a school parking lot was probably influencing the direction his mind was headed in.
He checked his clipboard that he was at the right place after driving here in a Mindless Eddie filled daze. Durand School. He looks up at the building before him and confirms it's the right place. It's his last stop of the morning so he gets to work grabbing the trays of loaves and rolls and heading towards the main entrance. He got signed in and followed the friendly staff member through to the kitchens catching brief glimpses into the decked out classrooms.
“Looks like a great school,” Buck tried to make small talk as they continued through the neverending halls .
“Best one I’ve worked at,” the woman said, “have you got kids?” she asked.
“Oh no, not really settled down enough anywhere yet to think about that,” Buck stammered, she let the conversation go and soon enough she showed him through to the kitchen leaving him to liaise with the cooks, they fell into an easier conversation about bread flavour fusions and raising techniques.
Buck had stayed at the school chatting away for far longer than he needed to so he politely excused himself from the kitchen, he’d made it around two corners of the winding halls before the loud shrill of a fire alarm rang out overhead.
“Seriously,” Buck complained under his breath, there were less classrooms in this end of the building so the sound of young kids rushing out of the building were distant enough that Buck couldn’t place the direction they were coming from. He tried his best to retrace the steps he took to get here but through the adrenaline and light coating of smoke filling the halls he was feeling pretty turned around.
He kept moving in the direction he’d chosen hoping he had to find some kind of exit at the end of it but he knew the growing heat in this direction was only a bad sign - he persisted anyway knowing he’d pushed too far through to go back the other way now. His eyes finally locked onto more people as he found a classroom evacuating, there was a young child holding back from the rest of his classmates, his face turned white as a ghost.
“Hey, you gotta follow your teacher,” Buck dropped to his knees before this kid to encourage him in the right direction.
“I-I lost m-my b-buddy,” the child sniffled, “he c-can’t walk w-well, we’re s-supposed to stay t-together in emergencies,” he was close to full on sobbing.
“He’s probably with your teacher okay, why don’t you follow them and let them know you can’t find your friend,” Buck insisted not for a second letting this child stay here in danger.
“That’s n-not my t-teacher, we got l-lost so I went to f-find help and now I c-can’t find him,” the child was dry heaving, the heat evaporating any tears that tried to slip free.
“It’s okay, you did your best okay, look you go with that teacher and tell them you got lost okay?” Buck asked, “And I will find your friend.”
“You’ll find him?”
“I promise,” Buck nodded, “What’s his name?”
“Christopher,”
“Okay, Christopher.” Buck confirmed before encouraging the child to filter into the flow of kids behind him, Buck slipped back the way he came trying to find the missing child. He knows it’s a long shot and the kid could be anywhere right now.
But something deep down tells him he needs to find this kid.
He moves on instinct more than anything else, checking classrooms and closets alike. He remembers the kid mentioning that his friend had difficulty walking and in that moment he catches sight of a mark along the linoleum floor like the rubber of a walking aid scuffed too hard against it. Scanning the drag path before him he found it leading to a door he’d yet to open, it was a stairwell. Glancing in he finally found the young boy curled up on the floor half a flight down, crutches discarded alongside him.
“Hey, Christopher?” Buck asked as he pounded down the steps to crouch beside the boy.
“Help,” the boy whimpered in a tiny voice.
“Yeah, yeah I’m Buck, I’m here to help,” Buck said quietly, fighting hard to keep his voice from breaking, he brushed a hand softly over the young boy's curls, “do you want me to carry you?” he asked, trying to take stock of any injuries that could make this escape more difficult.
“Legs hurt,” Christopher replied quietly, “please can you…” he teetered off holding out his arms signalling that he wanted Buck to carry him.
“Okay, I’ve got you kid, here wrap this around you,” Buck slipped off his jacket and helped the boy wrap it around himself covering any inch of exposed skin. He swept Chris into his arms and tucked his crutches under his own arm pit, “keep your face covered buddy, I’ll get us out of here.”
“My buddy,” Chris called out in panic, “I lost him, Buck.”
“I saw him okay, I made sure he left with another class and promised him I’d find you,” Buck explained as he tried to make a decision about how to get outside, “You’ll see him once we get out, do you happen to know the quickest way?” he asked taking any help he could get.
“The gym, down the stairs,” Chris answered as he settled his head down on Buck’s chest letting him tuck the jacket fully over him, the heat continued to rise as they continued down the stairwell, the hot handle stinging his hand as he pulled it open. He knew this was a bad idea, but unfortunately it’s the only one they had.
Buck spots a sign for the gym and trusts Christopher’s lead despite the thickening smoke engulfing them as he pushes deeper down the hallway and eventually finds himself jogging across the squeaky basketball court floor towards the illuminated green exit sign on the far wall. His arms tightened around the young boy as he prepared to push the door open at force with his back protecting Christopher from the brunt of the impact as the door gave way and the two fell to the ground, the boy's fall being broken by Buck.
Meanwhile on the main school field firetrucks have arrived from half a dozen stations, some handling triage, others the blaze. Amongst them is the 118 where a shaken Eddie Diaz has been banned from entering the building despite his son still being MIA. After questioning the boys teachers and classmates he was ready to fight off even his own captain to be allowed into the school, but the broad unmistakable figure now pushing through the smoke billowing out the school has the answer to his prayer.
“Hey, hey, I’ve got a kid here. I found him in the stairwell,” Buck called out as he blinked his way through the blinding haze looking for anyone who could help.
“CHRISTOPHER!” Eddie shouted rushing over to them as the jacket slipped off the boy's face. Buck could’ve frozen in shock at not only Eddie’s presence but his concern and familiarity with the boy, but he couldn’t let himself, couldn’t stop moving when getting the boy help was just steps away.
“Dad” Chris whined as Eddie closed the distance and took him into his own arms, Buck’s shock turned to understanding as he watched the two hold onto each other, Eddie finally looked up once he accepted that his son was safe.
“Buck?” he asked breathlessly.
“He saved me,” Christopher whispered into his dad’s chest.
“What? Why were-why were you even here?” Eddie panted, staring sharply into the other man's eyes.
“The bakery delivers here,” Buck answered sheepishly. A paramedic rushed over behind them, he recognised her as Hen from the car accident.
“Eddie let me take him, you know you can’t work on him,” Hen asked softly, waiting for Eddie to pass his son to her, “you can come with but he needs to be checked over.”
“Mijo, can you go with Hen and get checked out?” Eddie asked seeing his son nod subtly as he moved into the other medics arms, “You need to come over as well, I’m surprised you’re so okay after all the smoke you’ve inhaled recently,” he laughed weakly as they followed Hen back to the ambulance, shoulders bumping with every other step.
“Maybe I’m becoming immune,” Buck joked back, “I didn’t know you had a kid, I love kids” he added looking sideways to ensure he wasn’t overstepping.
“I love this one,” Eddie replied, looking back at his son wearing Hen’s helmet as she conducted his examination, ‘thank you for getting him out of there, and don’t go doing your humble hero act okay. This means more to me than I can say Buck, truly thank you.”
Buck didn’t respond, he didn’t need the praise but he’d let Eddie have his wish here, he hung back a moment as the other man continued ahead to sit with his son. A voice came up behind Buck startling him slightly, “we meet again,” Bobby said, placing a hand gently against the younger man's shoulder.
“I feel like I should start paying your wages,” Buck laughed.
“Or maybe we should be paying yours,” Bobby remarked, no teasing in his words. Buck cocked an eyebrow in response as he turned to meet the man.
“What are you saying?” he asked, shaking his head in confusion.
“I’m saying that I think you’d make a great firefighter,” Bobby shrugged.
“Bobby? No, come on. I just keep myself running head first into danger,” Buck tried to reason.
“Well that’s half the job.”
“And the other half?”
“Care for others, wanting to go into said danger just to save someone else,” Bobby answered, “Something you have in spades, more so than most firefighters I’ve met in my time.”
“I mean, I’m just, I’m not a firefighter,” Buck stumbled over his words.
“No, maybe not. But you could be. I think you should seriously consider it Buck.”
“I don’t know…” Buck started,
“But I do, I know what it takes to be a good firefighter and I see it in you kid, so please have a look into it and if you do decide to go to the academy come and let me know. The chief owes me a favour and I don’t want to take the risk of losing you to another firehouse” Bobby requested.
“What? You’d want me?” Buck asked, suddenly feeling himself choking up.
“Of course, I’ve even got the perfect partner lined up for you,” Bobby stated nodding his head towards Eddie before them, “I think you’d work pretty well together, don’t you?”
“Yeah, I suppose we would.” Buck replied with his voice just loud enough for the two of them to hear.
“So you’ll do it?” Bobby asked.
“I’ll think about it,” Buck corrected.
“That’s all I’m asking from you,” Bobby replied firm but gentle, “now go over there and get yourself looked at, and if they want you to go to the hospital please go with them.”
“Yes sir,” Buck retorted playfully, Bobby rolled his eyes as he watched the young man bound towards the ambulances with the glee of someone who hadn’t been involved in four fires in quick succession.
He took a seat alongside Chris in the back of the ambulance., “thank you Buck,” the young boy said.
“Of course, I promised I’d get you out and I keep good on my promises,” Buck assured thinking back to the conversation he’d just had with Bobby, he wasn’t sold on this being his calling just yet but maybe the world was screaming at him to give it a try. Eddie checked him over and insisted that both he and Chris get checked out at the hospital, tucking them both onto the gurney safely.
Chris was still sitting between Buck’s knees when they arrived at the ER being directed to an empty bay.
“Do you mind if we move you to a different bed sweetheart? We can still put you in the same room as Dad,” a nurse asked Chris looking up to Buck when referring to the boy's patriarch.
Buck furrowed his brow and started to open his mouth ready to correct the nurse and release Eddie and Chris to their own room.
“I’ve got him, thank you for keeping us together,” Eddie chimed in, lifting Chris out of the way and onto the adjacent bed. The nurse settled them both in before disappearing back down the hall.
“You didn’t need to lie,” Buck stated as Eddie hovered between the two beds.
“Why not, it’s better this way. I don’t have to choose between which of you I sit with,” Eddie defended, pulling a chair to the centre of the room.
“It wouldn’t really have been a choice, you’d be with your son,” Buck pointed out.
“Sure, probably. But it wouldn’t make it any easier to leave you.” Eddie spoke like these words were his gospel truth, “what were you talking to Bobby about?” he asked, moving the conversation on.
“Oh he was just asking… he was just asking how I was,” Buck answered, stopping himself from mentioning the job offer, this wasn’t a secret - he wasn’t even really sure he’d go ahead with it. But he knows that whatever answer Eddie gave him would make up his mind. If he didn’t want Buck to join the 118 he wouldn’t, he’d probably avoid becoming a firefighter all together. And if Eddie did want him to do it, he’d be signing up from his hospital bed.
So he kept it to himself for now, Bobby’s words circling him like a warm embrace. For the first time in his life he’d started to feel truly wanted.
5.
He’d been researching - hard. His YouTube search history was purely fire academy vlogs, he’d asked to tour a local firehouse - notably not the 118. He was deep into considering Bobby’s suggestion, but living with your boss was not the best place to start looking at a new opportunity. Especially when your residence in his house partially hinged on you continuing to work the less desirable shifts there.
Both him and Devon were home that evening, it was uneventful with both men backed into their respective rooms for the past few hours. Buck was once again studying what he’d need to complete the Firefighter Certification Assessment when he heard a yelp come from the living room, he tried to ignore it at first assuming Devon was just startled by a big spider again.
The second noise he heard was that of a fist pounding on his door, soon followed by Devon’s voice - urgent and scared, “BUCK,” he shouted. He crossed the room and unlocked his door now being faced with the source of his housemates distress.
“Shit,” Buck muttered under his breath, looking down the stairs he could see that the living room was already engulfed, trapping them upstairs where the bedrooms resided, “have you called 9-1-1?” he asked, trying to remain the voice of reason - hopefully some of his research has gone in.
“No, no shit, I’ll call them now,” Devon replied, fumbling his phone out of his pocket and dialling the three numbers. He handled the call as Buck tried to think of any way of getting them out. Bobby’s words echoed louder now than they had before, he believed in Buck, believed that he had what it took to be a firefighter.
Now was the chance to find out if his faith was founded.
“They told us to stay put, firefighters will be here soon,” Devon explained walking back over to Buck who was staring down watching the fire eat away at the wooden support beams.
“I don’t think we have that long,” Buck muttered.
“They said not to move, just because you’ve become a fire magnet recently doesn’t make you an expert,” Devon snarled.
“It makes me more of one than you are,” Buck sneered back, “we NEED to go downstairs, if we stay up here we run the risk of the floor collapsing under us and falling into those flames will be a hell of a lot worse than trying to push through them.”
“You want us to just waltz into that inferno down there? You’re ridiculous.” Devon snapped.
“You want us to just sit here and die,” Buck shouted back at him, “I’m trying to give us a chance to live.”
The both stood eye to eye, maybe it was good that he had new work potentially in the pipeline. Of course he’d need to survive this night first. Before either man could win the fight the floor gave out, swallowing them whole.
They crashed into what used to be the kitchen leaving them both pinned under a heavy support. Buck’s ears were ringing and his chest ached, eventually Devon’s screams broke through to him.
“I - ugh - told you so,” Buck grunted trying to wriggle before the flames eventually burnt through to them.
“Really? You’re going to - ow - do that NOW?” Devon complained, also trying to pull himself out.
“Wouldn’t need to if you’d listened,” Buck mumbled, he tested his strength against the beam. He’d started working out more recently, specifically on weight training, but he’d not been in a situation where he needed to test how effective it’d been.
There’s no time like the present.
He felt a lift, not enough that he could also slide himself out, but maybe he could free Devon. “Devon, are you trapped under anything but the beam?” he asked.
“Uh, I don’t think so,” he answered.
“Okay, can you move your toes?” Buck questioned tapping into the basic paramedic training videos he’d frequented.
“Yes Buck I can move my toes,” Devon replied with a lick of annoyance at the sudden barrage of questions.
“Okay, I’m going to lift the beam as best I can and I need you to get out when I do,” Buck explained, “I don’t know how long I can hold it so you need to be fast.”
“What-what about you?” Devon asked.
“When you’re out try and lift it and if you can’t,” Buck hesitated before speaking again, “if you can’t get yourself out, you should be able to get to the back door from here. Kick hard at the lock if it’s blocked,” he explained locking eyes with Devon.
“Okay, let’s - let’s try,” Devon stammered.
“On three, one two, threeeeee,” Buck strained as he used the full power he could muster to lift the beam. Devon shuffled back trying to ignore the sharp scratch against his hand on a piece of crumbled floor board.
“I’m out, I’m out,” he panted, scrambling up to his feet and straddling the beam, “I’m going to try and lift now okay are you ready?”
“Yeah, yeah, give it a go,” Buck panted back, beginning to push his heels into whatever ground it could find ready for when the pressure across his chest released. Devon pulled up with his full might but the beam hardly moved, he was a much smaller man than Buck who’d rather eat a blackberry croissant than do bicep curls.
It was a long shot - and Buck knew that when he’d suggested it.
“It’s fine, it’s - just go, when the firefighters get here tell them where I am,” Buck demanded.
“No, Buck, there has to be a different way. If I leave you here you could die. You said that yourself,” Devon's voice was filled with anger but the moroseness in his eyes told a different tale.
“Exactly, there’s no point in both of us dying,” Buck stated matter of factly.
“I will get help I promise,” Devon said, “you’re not dying Buck.” He pattered over rumble to the back door managing to push it open.
Buck laid where he was trapped, the past few months breathed new life into him. For the first time he felt like he’d found a true home and if he played his cards right he was going to keep expanding it. And now it could be gone, burning away around him.
He let himself have hope, something he’d long snuffed out in fear of the disappointment that so frequently accompanies it. He’d stopped looking at these fires as a curse and instead as a path, a path to being a firefighter, to knowing the 118, to meeting Eddie. He wasn’t as sure now.
Maybe the path wasn’t to a new life or new home but more one to his death, he was microdosing the end and now was the final course. He felt his eyes closing as the heat continued to consume all of his senses, when his eyes finally shut he saw Eddie checking him over, he felt Bobby's hand against his shoulder, heard Maddie’s voice in his ears asking him to stay.
He wasn’t going to give up. He couldn’t.
As his eyes flashed back open pulling him to his reality of being stuck alone in a burning building, again, he saw pulsing red lights mixing in with the warm glow of the firelight. He knew it was from a firetruck, he knew help was coming, he knew he wanted to be a firefighter.
Outside Devon was rushing across the front yard as soon as the firefighters hopped out the truck, “help please, my friend is still inside,” he pleaded, “he’s trapped in the kitchen, the floor gave out and god please help him.”
“That’s what we’re here to do, which way did you come out?” Bobby asked.
“The back door, it leads straight to the kitchen,” Devon rambled, his hands shaking as he tried to get Buck the help he needed.
“What’s your friend's name?” Eddie asked, stepping beside the men.
“Buck,” Devon answered, seeing the life drain from both men before him, Eddie’s jaw tightened locking eyes with his captain.
“Eddie…” Bobby started - a warning.
“I’m going cap,” Eddie insisted.
“We need a plan,” Bobby reminded him.
“Well what Buck needs is someone to get him out of there, so that’s what I’m going to do,” Eddie snarled before charging towards the house, sculking the perimeter until he found the backdoor, still standing ajar from when Devon escaped, “BUCK!” he called out as soon as he spotted those familiar sandy curls.
“Eddie,” Buck replied weakly, “I did it again,” he joked without a laugh.
“I can see that,” Eddie replied as he made his way across the room, “waste of our oxygen to tell you to be safe in future?”
“Think so,” Buck coughed out in response, the smoke was thickening and the flames approaching. Time was running out.
“I’m going to get you out okay, I’ve got your back,” Eddie assured before placing his breathing apparatus to his mouth to ensure he was at maximum strength before attempting to take any recovery action. Eddie shuffles to assume a similar position Devon was in before, he could get a better lift but there was more rubble holding him down.
Eddie spotted this and passed across starting to dig through the piles of plasterboard and planks, the fire was close and Buck’s consciousness was fading. For all he’s fought back against and survived recently his body has taken a beating, he wanted to keep fighting and he wanted to live. But if he was to die anywhere, being under Eddie’s care seemed like the place to be.
Eddie stopped digging for a moment at the sound of rustling in the doorway, it was the 118 all piling in a few firefighters continued past Buck to start pushing back the fire and allowing the rest of the team more time to get Buck out. Ravi joined Eddie in clearing out the debris as Hen and Chimney hooked Buck onto oxygen and began assessing for injuries.
Once they could see Buck’s legs and checked for any breaks it was time to try again to pull him free. Ravi prepared a jack under the beam as the other firefighters locked their grip under the beam, Bobby positioned himself behind Buck’s head ready to pull him onto a backboard once he was free enough to be moved.
Hen counted down with her hand before a grunt was shared between the 118 as they freed Buck from his entrapment. Hen and Chimney carried Buck on the backboard with Ravi keeping them steady.
Bobby and Eddie followed along behind removing their apparatus on the way back to the ambulance, the fire was now under control and the few team members still inside were close to having it fully doused.
“How can one person have such bad luck,” Eddie shook his head as he leaned back against the side of the truck, trying to give the paramedics space to work on Buck before he went over there, “he doesn’t deserve any of this.”
“The world has a funny way of giving the least deserving the hardest battles to fight,” Bobby replied leaning beside the younger man.
Chimney jogged over catching both their attentions, “he’s awake.” Eddie shared a look with Bobby before rushing around to jump into the back of the ambulance. He stood alongside the gurney and wrapped Buck’s hand in his own, their fingers interlocking as natural as breathing.
“Hi Eddie,” Buck croaked out looking up at the man leaning over him, their eyes trained on each other neither blinking or pulling away. Eddie wanted to say something, no words felt fitting for the moment. Instead he leant down meeting Buck’s lips with his own, the warmth shared between them felt like a homecoming.
“Okay Casanova, remember he’s just come out of a burning building. Let the boy have some oxygen,” Hen called out, hopping in the ambulance on the opposing side to Eddie watching him slowly pull away and take a seat. Never once letting go of Buck’s hand.
“I don’t have a house anymore do I?” Buck asked his voice soft and floaty from the illicit cocktail of co2 inhalation and desire for Eddie.
“Unfortunately not Buckaroo,” Hen replied, Buck smiled at the nickname in spite of his current circumstances.
“I think I have a solution to that,” Eddie offered, “you could always move into mine.”
“Eddie, you hardly know me,” Buck reasoned.
“I know you well enough, plus Chris has been kind of obsessed with you since the school fire so I’m sure he won’t protest,” Eddie continued.
“Must run in the family,” Buck joked, “are you really sure?”
“100%, based on what I’ve heard from Chimney about their date nights this will be much better than crashing on your sister's couch,” Eddie laughed.
“That’s TMI,” Buck groaned. “It’ll be easy to move in, all my stuff is, well, ash.”
“We’ll figure it out,” Eddie assured, placing another kiss to Buck’s mouth once more. The drive to the hospital was far too quick and Buck whined at the loss of Eddie’s hand when they had to wheel him into the ER. He complained again when he realised he was starting to know the staff by name.
They parked him up in a private room with a nasal cannula providing him oxygen and Eddie not leaving his side the whole way. The 118 filtered in and out checking up on them both and providing top ups on coffee and snacks. Bobby was the last to arrive.
“How are you feeling kid?” Bobby asked, pulling up a seat beside Eddie.
“Incredible,” Buck replied with complete sincerity.
“Not usually the response we get from patients, but I’m glad that your spirits are high.” Bobby stated, “Did you have any more thoughts about what we discussed?” he asked, ignoring Eddie flicking between them with suspicious eyes.
“I have, I made the decision under that beam actually,” Buck chuckled nervously.
“And?” Bobby asked.
“I’m going to sign up,” Buck stated confidently.
“Sign up for what?” Eddie asked, letting his curiosity get the better of him.
“The LAFD,” Buck answered, seeing the shock blooming on Eddie’s face, shifting to excitement and pride. There was no doubt in that room that he was making the right choice.
Buck was going to be a firefighter.
+1
When he was discharged from the hospital he moved straight into Eddie’s taking what few items survived the fire from the wreckage, he had never intended for LA to be the ending of his travels - he definitely never intended it to be the new beginning it was. He’d rolled into town a vagrant looking for his next thrill and instead he stumbled into a readymade family with Eddie and Chris.
Weeks of stumbling into danger resulted in what felt sure to be a lifetime of love for him and his sister too given how well things have been going with Chimney. Eddie let him borrow some clothes whilst he gradually bought himself more and he became more and more part of the Diaz family the longer he lived there
The first time he saw Devon after their house burned down he told him he was quitting to pursue firefighting. He wasn’t fought on this and they both apologised for their attitude in the face of danger. He still visits the bakery a few times a week and even covered a shift here and there where his training allowed because he can’t forget his first LA family.
He excelled at the fire academy finishing top of his class with records to show for it. Legend has it his name has become something of a verb amongst new recruits since then. He was carried through by Ravi helping him train, Hen helping him study, and Chimney keeping morale high. Eddie was his number 1 cheerleader and dragged him down to the fire station most days under the pretense that ‘seeing them in action would help him understand the job’ but he spent most of his time there curled up on the couch with Eddie or waiting for him to come back from a call.
Bobby was good to his word and presented him with his very own 118 helmet at his graduation ceremony confirming his place amongst his new family. They celebrated that night at Bobby and Athena’s with a barbeque, Buck cried when they got home that night from the overwhelming acceptance finally being given to him after a lifetime of wanting it. His first shift came on a Wednesday morning, he mostly trailed Eddie around the firehouse until the tones sounded and he loaded into the truck for his first call.
It was a fire, because of course it was. Just a single alarm and no casualties, it was a baptism of fire only in the literal sense of the phrase. He walked out of the burning building with a cat in hand that he swiftly reunited with its owners and finally felt it - purpose. After spending so many years of his life drifting in and out of relationships and jobs he’s now feeling every aspect of his life settle into place all at once.
It was disorienting at first, some guilt as whether or not he’s earned feeling so happy. But with Eddie’s arms wrapped around him at night and Bobby by his side in the firehouse kitchen he can’t find it in him to worry if he deserves to feel this way, his focus is on living in the moment and enjoying what life is offering.
Maybe he was cursed before, maybe he had to fight his way out of fires to prove he deserved to be free from it. But right now all he knows is this is where he was supposed to end up, so maybe in the end he’s grateful for every flame that burned him on the way here if this is where he got to end up.