Work Text:
Xemnas greets all of the new organization members personally. He needs to be sure of their capability to be vessels, to see whether they are worthy enough to be a part of the plan to claim Kingdom Hearts, and to give them their new name containing the recusant’s sigil.
The newest recruit is a young boy with the power to wield the Keyblade. Sora’s Nobody. Xemnas meets him outside the old manor in Twilight Town and bestows onto him the name Roxas. He knows what Sora looks like and while this boy looks similar, they are not exactly alike. Instead of having brown spiky hair, Roxas has blond. Roxas lifts his head and Xemnas can see his dull, blue eyes. Something about that look cuts through him and-
“Here, let me fix that for you.”
The boy looks at him with wide eyes, looking like he's on the verge of tears.
“There. Good as new. You don't need to worry about it. It was a mistake. You didn't mean to break it so let's just forget it ever happened.”
What was that? Was that a memory? He shouldn't have a memory of a boy like that yet something like the feeling that he once recalls as warmth of it lingers in his chest, foreign and unwelcome in a body that shouldn't feel warmth at all.
The moment fades and Xemnas is left wondering what it meant.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
“C'mon. No fair!” The boy pouts, “You always leave me behind.”
“I just want you to be safe, V̷̧̼̤̰̤̭̐̈̐̍̚e̷͖̮͍̳̘͛̈́͌ͅn̴̨̘͇̣̬͛̉̽.”
“I’m tired of being coddled. I’ve been training alongside you and À̷̖̲́̏q̷̦̞͓̍u̸͓͈̼̅̈̒ä̵̗̎̿̌ since forever and I can handle myself just fine.”
“It’s only because I care about you. We couldn't bear it if anything bad happened to you.”
Xemnas stops as fragments of something pop into his head. He’s gotten them throughout the years but they seem to have gotten more frequent recently. It contains fragments and remnants of a boy with blond hair and a big smile, a smile so bright it feels so out of place against the graying numbness of his own thoughts.
Roxas feels similar to that boy now that he thinks about it, but how can that be? It makes no sense. The boy in the fragment is not Sora. This memory - if it is even a memory after all - belongs to someone else entirely, someone whose name dissolves into static every time Xemnas tries to hold it still in his mind.
Xemnas barely makes appearances apart from his meetings in the round room, so when he appears in the corridors of the castle unannounced, Axel nearly drops the mission report he's filling in.
“Is everything alright?” Xemnas asks and his gaze lowers on Roxas, who looks a little worse for wear, his blond hair like a bird's nest and his eyes underlined by dark circles.
“Ouch! That Heartless really was strong,” Roxas mutters, more to himself than to anyone.
A voice says, “Let me see.”
He looks up to see Xemnas observing him. Roxas’ mind goes into overdrive as he thinks of all the worst possible reasons why the superior is here right now speaking to him but Xemnas only opens his hand. Nestled in his grasp is a high-potion that he puts in Roxas’ own hand.
“Um…” Roxas doesn't know what to say.
“Take care,” Xemnas tells him. His voice is his usual low and measured tone, but there's a hint of hesitation in it, and maybe something that could be described as softness. He turns and is gone before either of them can react.
“Huh? What was that about?” Roxas wonders. It's strange to see the boss out of the round room and more surprising, to see him be nice.
“Who knows?” Axel sighs, “The boss always was a weird one. Best to just play along.”
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
Xemnas eavesdrops and overhears Xion talking about the new world she's been to as she watches over a comatose Roxas. Roxas has collapsed but something within Xemnas tells him that it's familiar, that it feels right, that for the echo with blond hair and a bright smile, sleep is his right.
“It's so beautiful. I wish you could have seen it. A beach, the sea, and there's even a tree with star shaped fruit,” she explains, “I wonder if they mean anything.”
Somewhere out there is a tree with star shaped fruit, flits through his mind, the words sharp and clear. Someone very important told him that once, but who? Why can't he remember them and why aren't they here with him now?
Xemnas moves away from the door but not before he notices that the puppet’s hair underneath her dark hood that covers her face looks blue for a split second.
An unbreakable connection.
· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·
A suit of armor lies on the ground. He feels connected to it in a way that he cannot explain. It's not the first time he's done this. Many a time across the years he has sat on the throne and spoken to the scraps of metal, alone in the dark, letting words spill out of him that he would never say to his supposed comrades. It may be the only time he feels something close to peace.
Xemnas closes his eyes.
“One day, we'll all be masters. It'll be strange, don't you think?” the words wash over him but he doesn't know who's saying them. It’s not him, but it feels it could be. It’s all and all a confusing mess inside of his head, bits and pieces tangled together that's hard to pin down and make sense of.
“I'm worried,” she admits, “What if I'm not good enough?” A girl’s voice, gentle and kind. He can vaguely picture her and he tries to keep the image of her in his mind.
“À̷̖̲́̏q̷̦̞͓̍u̸͓͈̼̅̈̒ä̵̗̎̿̌, you are the strongest person I know. You'll pass with flying colors and you'll be a wonderful master. The best of all of us, probably,” Xemnas, not Xemnas, reassures her.
That seems to ease her tension. “Don't let the master hear you say that,” she teases.
Whoever this girl is, she's his friend. She trusts him and he trusts her. He knows that, deep in his non-existence, just like that boy of sunshine is too. Xemnas doesn't know her name. He doesn't know his name either. But he knows one thing - the three of them will be reunited one day, even if Xemnas has to find them and claw them back to him himself.