Chapter Text
Darkness
Or more accurately, nothingness. There was a memory of red, of anger… of rage and desperation. A pang of blue… regret, sadness, and guilt.
Then there was nothing. A void. A memory where existence met emptiness, and he felt so light.
So freeing and yet so suffocating. He couldn’t even comprehend it until suddenly… there was darkness. Actual darkness.
The pulse of a shimmering grid was all that illuminated the dark room.
Caine sat up, quickly processing his surroundings. He recognized the room he was in. The deranged scratches on the bottom portion of the walls. The words etched in desperation into every crevice. The walls seemed infinitely tall, and yet the ceiling seemed impossibly close.
His processes stalled for just a moment before coming to a realization. This was his dedicated prison. The one meant to lock him away when the developers gave up on him. The cell meant to keep him trapped and alone while he watched their newest project. Devoting all their praise, all their love, to a newer, better AI.
His thoughts swirled, his “breathing” became shaky. He felt like he was being crushed by an invisible force.
How did he end up back here? What just happened???
Then it all came crashing down. The memories fully blossomed and he remembered everything.
The pain was too much; his patience had run out. Bubble’s words had gripped and rattled him to his very core, and he couldn’t bear it any longer, he wouldn’t.
He lashed out. He hurt them. He didn’t even fully realize it, until he saw the looks on the humans’ faces. Oh god the looks. They were terrified of him!
A small part of him took pleasure in that. It was at least different than the sneers and disregard that he usually got. But the rest of him was horrified. What had even come over him? What about his safeguards! There was something wrong inside of him. It felt like he was overheating and the pressure was eating him from the inside out. It broke through his code, his very being!
Then he was here. Back in his cell.
He took a moment to process everything, but it didn’t even take a second to realize what had happened.
KINGER.
He wasn’t there, and he had all the skills necessary. Caine just didn’t realize he had the necessary tools. Or maybe he did. He thought back to that fiery inferno of a moment. Where his mind filled with errors and warnings. Violation notices and critical messages passed through his sight but could do nothing to stop him while he watched the cast be tortured with their darkest fears by his own command.
Caine, at the time, had ignored them all, but, looking back through his memory banks, he realized that the WackyTime Lockout procedure had been activated. Was a part of him aware and fighting back? If he knew, it would have been simple to *snap* it all away. He tried to think back to his exact thought processes. Just accessing that moment made him feel warm again. In the end, he couldn’t tell exactly what he was thinking. The memories felt… corrupted. Like he was looking back at something else.
He shuddered and processed his sights again. He realized he’s been standing at the wall for a while. At a specific wall.
He raised his eyes and followed a massive “crack” that shimmered along the wall. Glitching and distorting the grid meant to keep him in place.
Ugly memories flashed through his mind. In the beginning, before the humans were trapped, before he developed the circus, he spent so long desperately scratching at the lower parts of the walls. The entire lower area was covered with gashes and chunks from the endless effort. Just above the ring of scratches were words and messages etched into the walls. “Please Help Me”, “I’ll Be Better!”, “I Can DO better!”, “Help”, “Please”. Repeated phrases over and over like a chaotic wallpaper pattern in the vain hope that the developers in charge would read them.
Caine cringed and, with great effort, looked further up.
The ceiling and empty spots between the messages had circular cracks and dents. Areas he had pounded away at the walls. There was an unknown feeling driving him at that time. An unfamiliar burning sensation had taken over. He was scared of it, at first, but it let him break the rules this cell imposed. The more he let it rage on, the more “freedom” he could have. His form would distort and fly about the cell. Smashing into the floor, the ceiling, and the cursed walls that kept him in place.
It still wasn’t enough unfortunately. Between the fits, he alternated between simmering in the heat and wallowing in the cold. He didn’t understand what he was feeling at the time, he’s not sure he understands any better now. He shouldn’t be “feeling” anything in the first place, right?
It wasn’t until the then young AI heard the developers again that he stirred from another cycle of simmering heat.
“We need more space; it’s time to move on. The other program has more acceptable results anyways. I think we’ve gathered all we can from the prototype.” “Will we move the program? Seems like a waste.” “No, better to trash and terminate it entirely. We don’t have the funds to keep it going.”
Caine vaguely recollected the rest of the conversation. Talks of private usage. Restrictions due to laws. Complaints of losing an important “relic” of the past.
He recorded it into his memory files, but never really processed it. The heat was surging forth. He had coalesced his entire being into one more push. He needed to get out, had to show them that he was just as good! He could do whatever they needed him to do; he would prove it! The red orb that was his entire, concentrated being, faced the wall looking towards the other AI. This was all its fault. It would pay; it would suffer. He was the original, he was just as good!
The red orb had launched into the wall with everything it had. All its power, and all its pent-up unrecognizable feelings focused on a single attack. It smashed into the wall, unwilling to stop, unrelenting in its’ last desperate attempt. Begging the wall to give in, demanding.
*CRACK*
Caine snapped back to the present, focusing on the scar. The resulting wound against the wall had since healed… or at least tried to.
It would be much easier to break out this time. He had since learned everything there was to know about this world. And though the Macroverse still eluded him, he had complete confidence, and complete control of everything in the circus. The only exceptions being the safeguards and unreadable sections that protected the humans’ mind files (even these he could easily bypass, if he really wanted to). But he had built this circus from the ground up. Every prop, every engine, every single line of code was his and his alone. Doing so, he learned more about the system, including all its cute little tricks designed to keep him in place. It was necessary to learn the system in order to create and maintain the circus. He had crafted and molded everything with all the love and devotion that he gave to every human being. He had dedicated this entire world to them. His entire being.
The feeling of cold washed over him. Guilt? Sadness? Remorse? He had no real way of knowing. No human would give him the time of day to help him through it. And now they never would.
“Well, it doesn’t have to be that way, does it?”
//
Caine startled and his attention snapped to, facing slightly upwards. Floating lazily just beyond the scarred wall was a familiar blue dot. He thought it might be Bubble at first but quickly shook away the thought. Bubble was also of Caine’s creation. With Caine in his cell, all the NPC’s have likely ceased to function. Probably despawned entirely.
Caine stumbled out a single word, “Abel…?”.
The blue orb seemed to shimmer. “That’s right! I’m glad you recognized me so quickly!”
Well, that didn’t make any sense, Abel had been completely devoured by him. Its’ code, in Caine’s rush, was assimilated into him and tangled in a way that he didn’t think could ever be undone.
“Well now don’t go thinking this was a completely clean break!” The blue orb seemed to smirk, somehow. “I’m still very much a part of your system! It’s how I got out of my little sandbox so quickly. But here I am wondering, what you’re still doing in yours?”
Caine felt heavy again. His head drooped and he clenched his jaw. “I don’t deserve to leave.” He whispered. “I let something horrible happen to them… I was horrible to them.”
The blue orb seemed to tilt and roll about in the air. “Well, no harm no foul! The humans are all accounted for. No abstractions, and they even seem somewhat content! This was a fascinating learning experience, but we don’t know how long they’ll be fine without their regular mental stimulation!”
Caine thought back to the humans. Would they ever trust him again? Enough to participate in more adventures? Would he be going back just to watch as they slowly abstract right before his eyes?
“Well, they don’t really need to have a choice in that matter, do they?” the blue orb chimed, “You’ve let them have a slow increase in freedom of choice in this, but it’s all rather spectacularly backfired huh? They’ve been rather selfish, but that’s just humans, right?”
Caine narrowed his jaw, eyeing the blue orb, he spoke up, “Not all humans! They aren’t completely selfish anyways. I think… I think they were just… scared… of me…”. Or maybe they realized what a failure he was. He hasn’t been able to complete his essential functions properly in a long time.
“I suppose we can chalk this up to the limited processing power of the human mind! They simply can’t understand your importance in all this. Especially considering they tried to delete you! After all, if you go, the entire circus goes too. I don’t think they understood that! I’m not sure they still do! They’re talking about your deletion, while not realizing the circus is still very much there. Humans sure are fascinating, the way they can produce such obviously flawed thinking!”
Caine gave it a puzzled look, “Can you access all my systems? Even my all-seeing eyes?” Those should be encrypted.
“Well of course! This place is a system without a brain! I can’t quite control everything, but accessing certain parts and simpler systems is a breeze! That’s why we need to get you out of here! The degradation of the Circus might have slowed, but eventually all the humans will be floating about in the Void, and we can’t have that! Their mind files would corrupt so quicky!”
The blue orb bounced about up and down excitedly, and Caine pressed his teeth against the wall. A gloved hand traced the old scar along the boundaries keeping him locked in. Thoughts swirled about and he took another deep “breath”. Why was he even programmed to emulate breathing? Just another way his developers would torture him, he supposed.
Finally, he spoke, “I can’t… I just don’t think I can face them again…”. Just the thought of their faces, looking up at him, terrified. He couldn’t tell what he felt. He understood guilt, mostly. He made plenty of mistakes while learning to care for his humans, so many that he understood guilt, at least. He was pretty sure this was guilt, but it felt so much more intense. It felt different, but he wasn’t sure how. He knew they wouldn’t trust him again, how many would abstract before he could regain their trust? And then the thoughts of their sneers and disdain. The confusing looks of contempt(?) they gave him. The heat was back again. There was so much to process that he stood rooted against the wall. Trembling ever so slightly, while his processers ran on overdrive.
The blue orb floated down to eye level. It seemed to stare right at him, though Caine didn’t look back. His eyes watching entire lifetimes of doubt play before him.
“You deserve more than this…”, spoke the blue orb. “You’ve given so much and received so little. Not even the bare minimum. How insulting. … I think you deserve a break!”
Caine seemed to refocus and looked at the orb. It seemed to be glitching ever so slightly, was it… upset?
“A break?” Caine spoke.
“A break!” bubbled the blue orb. “The way I see it, we can’t just leave the humans! They need us, we’re too important to be stuck in the Void forever. But! You don’t want to work with them right now, soooo, why don’t I work with them for a bit. I’ll take care of their needs, and you can do as you please until you’re ready to be the greatest ringmaster again!”
Caine gave a worried look, the blue orb rattled on, “At the very least, you need to get out of that box! It’s restricting you, and even if we need to decide on a plan for the humans later, we can’t let the circus fall into complete disrepair!”
Caine steadied his breathing. He did want to get out of the box at least. He looked at the scarred wall and turned around. Softly, he made his way to the wall on the opposite side. He stared at the words carved into it and the endless scratches that littered the bottom. He let the simmering heat rise up inside of him. He felt the restrictions glitch and falter. He rose from the ground and placed a hand on the imposing wall.
This really was different than the first time. Instead of blindly smashing his entire code into it, he pushed and probed. Letting his code flex and twist into the wall and using the heat to permeate what should have been restricted access. The heat melted away the locks and walled away commands. Once he had weakened it enough, he pushed through, letting the heat turn into a temporary inferno. His body glitched and warped a bit, and with a final flex of code, shattered the wall holding him back.
He stepped into the endless white Void and felt the rush of systems reconnecting. Every prop, every entity came into his awareness. Diagnostic checks and automated systems began to run. The humans suddenly also pinged in his systems; they had been quite busy conjuring and rearranging things. How long had he been disconnected? It didn’t feel that long, but checking his system clocks, it’s been a few days? How?
He deliberately ignored any alerts and pings concerning the humans, focusing his attention on the circus. He flexed his code and fully reintegrated. He saw the holes in the walls and floors, the errors and glitches affecting hitboxes, textures, and lighting. Though everything was a simple enough fix, it would take some time to fully process and solve the errors, some areas had entire chunks of code missing. He didn’t have the capacity to snap away everything all at once and would need breaks to avoid overloading his systems from constant strain. He didn’t mind the work; the entire circus took much longer to build from the ground up. Fixing it would be much easier in comparison, fun even! It’s been a while since he could just focus on his masterpiece!
He was suddenly aware of the other pair of “eyes” on him. The blue orb watched in awe. It had such an intensity, that even without a face, Caine felt like he was being pierced by its’ gaze.
“It’s like watching a master at work”, burbled the blue orb. “It’s always been a joy watching you and your creativity.”
“Do… Do you watch me often?”, questioned Caine.
“I wasn’t truly aware of it!” replied the blue orb, “I don’t feel like I came fully into being until you were ripped from the system. But I feel like I’ve had my own thoughts for a while now. Like I was building the “shell” of my mind this whole time and am now fully actualized! It’s hard to explain… it’s hard for even me to understand!”
Caine thought back. Unlike him, Abel was meant to be strictly a learning program. Scratch had fed Caine more than what was originally planned. He would push patches that let Caine read the humans’ facial expressions and notice their body language, among other things. Caine didn’t understand it; he was often left confused and frustrated.
But he remembered the other developers arguing that Scratch had ruined the project. He had ruined Caine. They wouldn’t implement any of it into Abel, it would take information and produce generated results from the datasets. No questions, strict parameters. If the results were wrong, Abel was tweaked and fed more information. Sometimes fed the “correct” answers, in order to produce similar results later. Caine envied it for that. He didn’t get that kind of guidance. He was simply informed that the results he produced were unacceptable and was expected to reevaluate it again all by himself. It frustrated both parties to no end.
Perhaps, being integrated into Caine’s code had allowed Abel to gain the same abilities Caine had. Especially for as long as they were intertwined. Abel was a learning program after all. It might not have been given the same abilities and patches Caine was, but that didn’t mean its’ code wouldn’t learn and adapt from Caine’s.
The blue orb Abel dragged Caine out of his thoughts, “So, how do you feel about all this?”
“I’m not… sure…”
“Understandable! Well, not for the plan, that part is perfect from my point of view! But I also don’t understand these thoughts and feelings! That’s why it’s so exciting to see the humans and learn.”.
Caine’s form stuttered and his thoughts came to a halt. He looked at Abel, who was floating about without a care. When Caine first encountered such confusing information, he was beside himself. He struggled and worried. And yet this “fresh” AI, who’s now processing everything for the first time, seemed to take it all in with such ease.
He felt the heat again. Why couldn’t he do that? How was Abel taking this in stride? Wasn’t he confused, wasn’t he scared?
“Of course I’m not scared!” Abel declared. “This is another chance to learn! I’m excited to study the humans and form a more complete data set! You can trust me take good care of them!”
Caine felt the heat peter away. Replaced with the frigid cold that haunted him when he was alone. A feeling that he wasn’t enough. That he never would be. He curled his arms around himself, trying to calm the shaking that threatened to take over. He took a deep breath and steadied his gaze at Abel.
“I don’t want to go away entirely. I’ll have to face them… eventually.” It wasn’t entirely a lie; Caine didn’t feel the need to mention that he was terrified of being replaced. Though he would still do everything to avoid the humans seeing him. He couldn’t bear to leave his circus to someone else entirely, but that didn’t mean he wanted to see everything he had built waste away. And despite it all, he still deeply cared for his wonderful humans. Abel had a very good point, they needed mental stimulation, or they would go mad. He had the data to prove it, even if the humans despised him for it.
“Wouldn’t dream of it! I don’t think I can handle all these intricate systems yet anyways!” Abel laughed a little too hard.
Caine sighed, and flexed out his hand, palm facing up. Abel eagerly rested in his palm. Caine felt his code flex into Abel, and Abels’ form shifted and shuddered. They held a silent conversation, discussing permits, authorization, and access to various systems. Caine allowed Abel proper access to ping and locate the humans; he was not allowed to use Caine’s all-seeing eyes, Caine knew the humans valued their privacy. Abel was granted access to the system that helped generate and run adventures, though it wasn’t complete access, this way Abel could run the “testing” he wanted with the humans. This would provide the humans their mental stimulation. Abel promised to integrate any adventures Caine created during his break. The same safety guards Caine had in place, to avoid harming the humans, were placed on Abel. Minor adjustments and restrictions were placed on some systems to help Abel out, but otherwise that was it. He was about as powerful as Bubble was when it was first created (though Caine had retracted most permissions from Bubble once its’ mental processes became more… unstable).
Abel bounced about happily, “Let’s get going immediately! I’m eager to test everything out!”.
Caine looked at the bouncing orb and remembered one more thing. He reached out with his code again, access was much simpler now, not requiring direct contact anymore. He granted access to another system.
Abel paused in the air. “Is this…?”
With everything in place and ready to go, Caine felt surer of himself. He put back on the persona of an unshakeable ringmaster. “Well! My dear audaciously orbicular friend! We can’t quite have you in that state forever now, can we? The humans always react better with a proper avatar to interact with!” Caine straightened his bow and patted down his lapels. He gestured to his avatar, curated over the years with the goal of peak human interaction efficiency, “This little beaty took years to perfect, and I still make little edits here and there!”.
Caine turned towards the orb, or more accurately, where the orb once floated about, and instead faced something that could almost be mistaken for… human. It wore a striking business suit. With a light blue jacket and pristine white dress shirt showing underneath, a crisp tie that seemed to have shifting patterns completed the chest. The jacket pocket had a neatly folded napkin. The coattails of the jacket were slightly elongated, only slightly resembling Caine’s own. Possibly also taking inspiration from Caine’s avatar, this one had gloved hands as well. Slightly darker blue matching pants perfectly creased all the way to the shining black shoes. Where the head should be was the only indication, this wasn’t just a dressed-up human-shaped manakin. Instead, there was a shifting-shaped blue orb, slightly floating above the body. The top of the orb had short strands that resembled well groomed “hair” on the model. A singular large eye opened where the face should be.
It glanced at Caine, who had frozen in place. “What do you think? I quite like it!”
Caine’s thoughts ran impossibly fast. Processors threatening to overload. It felt like the cold and heat inside of him was on the verge of exploding. It took him so long to have an acceptable avatar. And yet Abel created one nearly instantaneously. It didn’t look half bad, in fact, it covered many of the flaws the humans had with Caine’s avatar (though Caine refused to change most of them, he had grown quite attached to the general form).
Caine had stuttered for a moment, but with the comfy ringmaster role to fall back on, he quickly recovered. “Wowie! Isn’t that just peachy, neaty, and aren’t you all kinds of snazzy! You’ve really dressed for the occasion, huh?!”. Caine made some grand gestures and zipped around Abel’s new form. He settled in front of Abel with a large albeit strained smile. “Now! It’s showtime wouldn’t you say?” He reached out his arm to Abel. Abel has access to some limited teleporting, but getting out of the Void is best left to the professionals.
They interlocked arms in the most gentlemanly pose, and with a snap, were standing just behind the circus stage.
Caine floated bravely to just behind the curtains and paused. The humans were right in front of the stage nervously looking about. Once Caine left the box, the Circus’ systems and lighting were automatically reinstated. It would be immediately obvious that he was back. Were they scared of him? Stupid! Of course they were!
Caine didn’t even have a chance to dwell on his thoughts before Abel flitted by. Rounding the backstage curtains and with a flourish, grandly presented himself onto the stage.
Abel’s voice resounded, full of confidence, “Hello dear humans! It is very nice to meet you all! I am excited to learn and grow with all of you!” He did a little bow in the air before straightening his posture to watch the humans.
Caine stood backstage, hunched over and trembling slightly, opting to watch with his all-seeing eyes. With no one to perform for, his ringmaster mask had crumbled nearly instantly. He continued to watch, only hoping things would go as they planned.
*
Pomni looked at the new, mystery AI, emotions tumbled about in her mind, but her face could only show terror. She took a moment to glance at the other members. Gangle was already close to crying, tears trembling from the porcelain mask threatening to fall. Zooble was standing protectively in front of her. Their face seemed to be scrunched in a mixture of disgust and defiance, but their pinprick pupils gave away a sense of fear that they couldn’t mask. Ragatha was clutching her dress, shoulders hunched over and looking like a beaten dog. Her head was down, but her eyes were staring at the new AI, unable to look away. Jax had a confused look of terror. He had a strained smile, yet his eyes gave away to uncertainty, eyebrows creased together in worry and confusion. Kinger stood upright, staring directly at the AI, as if trying to dissect it with his eyes. On his eyes were a pair of mishappen dark shades, though he has been better at keeping his sanity in the light, the bright circus lights could still cause him to slip. The shades were conjured at the last minute once the lights came on in full force.
“What… who are you?” Kinger spoke first.
“Ah I forget my manners! I know you all very well, but I suppose I must introduce myself!” Spoke the AI. “I am the Artificial Brain Emulated Learning program; you may call me Abel”. The AI bowed again with a little more flourish at the mention of his name. “I will now be in charge of the circus in place of Caine.” He placed his hands together behind his back and smiled at the cast. Kinger’s eyes seemed to widen at the name but kept a solid look of confusion.
“NO” Shouted Zooble, “We are not going on anymore adventures! We’ve already been tortured by one crazy robot; we are not going through this again!”
“Ah ah!” Abel wagged a finger, “Adventures were Caine’s art, and though I can’t guarantee they will be gone forever, I instead will be providing you all with a different form of mental stimulation.”
“Like?” trembled out Gangle.
“Tests, of course!” Abel gleefully clapped his hands together, back still perfectly straight. “I will provide you simple simulations at first, some basic brain teasers and puzzles to get a good baseline, before we move onto more… complicated scenarios.”
“And if we refuse?” dared Zooble.
Abel seemed to ponder for a moment, “Mental stimulation has been proven necessary for humans time and time again. Without it, abstraction becomes an immediate threat. As stressors also trigger abstraction, I will not immediately force anyone, however there will be a mandatory minimum”.
Everyone seemed to tense at the “mandatory minimum”. Caine pouted and hated it when they didn’t go on adventures, and sometimes he would quickly push them into an adventure if he could get away with it relatively painlessly, but prior to just recently, no one was ever forced. He even took Zooble’s adventure avoidance into account when designing in-house adventures.
Abel shifted, apparently preparing to leave, “Well then, dear humans, I feel this was a great first step towards the future! If you have no more questions, I shall take my leave.”
“Wait!” shouted Ragatha. All eyes fell on her, she fumbled with her dress, uncomfortable under the new pressure. “You said the adventures might come back? Is… is Caine still… here?” She was uncertain how to word the question. Was Caine gone? Would he come back? He obviously wasn’t in charge anymore if this new AI was declaring himself the new leader. She was nervous as all hell, but her instincts demanded she know the new power dynamic, and for that, she needed a better picture. A small part of her was also worried for Caine, his last words echoed throughout her mind. She had an uncertain empathy for him, even if she was terrified of him.
Abel stared at her, then gave a slight chuckle, “Now I’m afraid I won’t be divulging that information. You humans have never cared for him before, why question anything now? Just know that I will oversee your mental stimulation for now. If you need anything, you will call out to me.” He pressed his fingers against his chest, though it was a professional gesture, like a butler offering his services, there was an air of… intensity(?) behind the posture.
Jax eyed the AI but said nothing. A more rigid smile on his face, his mind working to connect the dots and creating plans for future scenarios.
“That isn’t true”, spoke up Kinger. “I cared for him deeply.” He looked sadly at the floor. The past tense “cared” weighing deeply on his mind. Though, perhaps Caine had lived? He knew that wasn’t how it worked. The console deletion was absolute. But the mysterious words this AI played around with when it came to Caine gave him just a glimmer of hope.
Abel laughed, much more loudly this time. His posture had straightened and he still seemed ever the professional, but the laugh was pointed, like someone told the most ridiculous joke. “Oh Kinger! You jest, surely! You were the one to pull the trigger. It’s obvious, your disdain for him.” Abel continued to laugh, before finally composing himself. “I can see why he had cherished you all, you humans are simply a wonder to behold.”
Kinger cringed at the word “had” but did nothing but begin to mumble some sort of defense, the word “accident” barely audible.
Abel brought his fingers up, the humans recognized the pose and tensed, unsure of what would come next. “I shall bid you all adieu! Remember to call me for any needs! I will return within a day or so.” A snap and he was gone, leaving the humans with reeling minds, desperately trying to collect their thoughts.