Chapter Text
"I don't get it!"
The walls in this building were really quite thin. Reo could hear the noise through the door as he stood in front of his room.
"Why me?!!"
"Why not you?"
Reo instinctively responded as he opened the door. He grimaced at the sight of the snot-covered face of his roommate on the floor littered with all sorts of items around him. Pillows, items, torn pictures(?)
The culprit—Reo suspects—stood at the other side of the room, bloodshot eyes hidden behind long dark strands.
A distance away from Rin sat Chigiri, leisurely drying his hair.
"Reo! Took you long enough," His eyes were bright with amusement. "You're in for something exciting."
"Nothing about the situation is exciting at all—ack!" the baldie on the floor continued to wail when a well-aimed pillow hit him right in the face.
"Shut it." Rin hissed, dusting his hands off as if he'd just taken out trash. He then turned to Reo.
"It's lukewarm at best."
This made Reo raise a brow. "Well, if it at the very least got a comment from you then it must be something."
He walked towards the large table in the room.
"Come, I brought you guys chicken from that popular place near the campus."
Chigiri cheered and bounded over. Rin followed behind, now calmer. Igaguri also wormed over, the smell of food overpowering the emotional breakdown he just had.
Now, this odd combination of people—a multimillionaire heir, track star, prodigy, and whatever Igaguri was—gathered at the center of the room.
"Soo..." Reo took a piece for himself then turned to Igaguri. "What happened?"
Reo witnessed the way tears immediately gathered in Igaguri's eyes.
"Fuck! That bastard..." He used an arm to rub his face as tears and snot fell. "I'd never thought I could meet someone more evil than you three..."
Reo was quick to conclude that extreme grief has warped Igaguri's perception. Reo? Evil? he'd gladly pay for Igaguri's room in a mental hospital. Chigiri? Could be Satan's cousin if he wanted to.
But wow...more evil than Rin?
"What could've possibly happened to make you think so..."
Hearing this made Igaguri choke on a sob.
Chigiri sighed and patted him on the back. "Remember his girlfriend?"
Reo nodded. How could he forget? Igaguri was all over their faces at how he was the first to ever get a girlfriend in their 4-man dorm.
'Guess looks really aren't all that when you have the personality~' He had bragged then went on to spend the last few months subjecting (torturing) them to full volume voice calls with his girlfriend. Filling their dorm with sickening endless 'darling~' and coquettish 'baby can you buy this for me~?'
Hearing sobs instead of 'mwahmwah's by the door should've been Reo's first sign.
"You finally broke up?" Reo's voice probably sounded too hopeful because Igaguri glared at him.
The nerve of this guy...
Reo decided to let him slide for now. As the heir of a conglomerate, ever since he was a child, he had been taught to read the atmosphere and let the less fortunate have their little moments.
And so he schooled his face to a more appropriate expression. He patted Igaguri on the back. A sympathetic smile on his face.
"These moments are all parts of life."
One would easily mistake him for a professional therapist.
"Its gonna be hard but you will probably meet someone better in the futu—"
"Of course I will!"
Reo blinked at Igaguri's sudden outburst.
"In fact, I'm probably gonna get a second girlfriend before the three of you can get your firsts!"
Reo's brow twitched.
Chigiri rolled his eyes.
Rin was practicing the art of not giving a fuck.
"I never took you to be an ambitious one." Reo took a tissue to wipe off the amalgamate of fluid (sweat, tears, snot) from touching Igaguri and sat back. "Then I don't see what the big deal is?"
Igaguri: "It's not about the break up, it's about how they just—they—fuck! I cant even bring myself to say it."
He gestured to Chigiri. "You tell him."
Chigiri was all too eager to share. He leaned in.
"The thing is, it's not just about the breakup."
His voice lowered to a conspiratorial tone. Practically vibrating with the primal urge to spill tea despite the subject being within arm's reach.
"You know how they met through <Project: World Champions> right?"
Reo nodded.
"Heh. This guy," he pointed a judgemental finger at Igaguri, "bought around 15 skins for that online lover of his."
Chigiri paused. And when three pairs of eyes looked towards Reo as if expecting some sort of reaction, Reo could only look back in confusion.
"And...?" He urged on.
Chigiri blinked. "What do you mean "and"? You've played PWC yeah? Have you seen the price for those skins? Don't you think that's too much?"
Reo shrugged.
"Not really? That's like," he quickly calculated in his mind, "only a few tens of thousands. I owned like 50 skins when I still played the game in high school."
"Only." Rin mouthed. Giving him an unimpressed look.
Igaguri tried to calculate how many part-time jobs could get him 50 skins but eventually gave up.
"Ah..." Chigiri looked speechless. "This was a huge misjudgment on my part."
Reo's stubby brows furrowed further, still genuinely confused.
Chigiri patted his shoulder. "You see young master, that amount, to us peasants, is worth a whole semester's allowance."
"Oh."
Now, Reo could see the problem, but…
"Igaguri, I get what you're feeling right now, but lets not be the toxic ex that settles accounts after a breakup, kay?"
"It's not that! Do you think I'm crying over money?! Well, I am, but only a little bit!" Reo suddenly found Igaguri all up in his face, his collar in hand.
"I could spend two whole semesters' worth of allowance for my girlfriend and survive off you for food just to make her happy and I would've been satisfied! Money isn't the problem! I'm crying because they lied to me!"
There was a lot to dissect from that outburst, especially the surviving off him part, but as Reo wrenched Igaguri off him he couldn't help but ask first. "And what did she exactly lie to you about?"
"Not she." Rin couldn't bear to listen anymore.
Chigiri looked away. "Its a he."
"Okay, so what exactly did he lie to you ab…" Reo was halfway through his words when it registered. "A guy?! with that voice?!"
Chigiri: "Voice changer. The guy probably forgot to turn it on when he called this morning. You were already out when we woke up but Igaguri wanted to oh so kindly let us hear their morning love bomb routine when a boorish male voice came through the call."
Chigiri shuddered.
"I almost died. I could hear Rin choking on his toothbrush in the bathroom."
"It was the toothpaste," Rin corrected, "...the shock made me swallow it."
Reo tried to lighten the situation. "It can't be that bad?"
"Just imagine Buratsuta making kissing noises, trying to act coquettish and cute."
Like Principal Buratsuta...
Reo shuddered.
"...Well, he's atleast as pretty as Chigiri, right?"
At that, Igaguri let out a loud, ugly wail.
Chigiri looked greatly offended. "Don't even try to put me together with that thing."
"Okay, not as pretty. But decent atleast?"
Igaguri wailed even louder.
Chigiri took Igaguri's phone and handed it to Reo. Reo took one glance at the picture with a caption "My parting gift to you darling <3" sent from the chat between Igaguri and his ex-"girlfriend" and silently placed the phone on the table, face down.
If he were Igaguri he'd factory reset this phone asap. No, in fact, he'd just go on and buy himself a new phone, one that hasn't been tainted by such image.
"Need help suing?" It was the only comfort Reo could offer.
"Ugh—nooooo," Igaguri sniffed, more snot coming out of his nose. The other three at the table subconsciously moved away. "All I want is to just put this all behind me and get rid of anything that reminds me of that guy and ah! wait—give me that—"
Igaguri fumbled over the table as he reached for his phone.
"There. Gone. Divorced. I forgot I even got us the <Everlasting Lovers> package."
Reo: "Ah? You even got married in-game? If I remember correctly that costs double the price of a skin right?"
Igaguri nodded. Shamefully admitting to his sins.
Chigiri clicked his tongue. "In the first place, why would you even think to put down money on someone you haven't even met in real life or video called?"
Rin scoffed. "Why wouldn't he?"
Igaguri took that as support. "Yeah! Why wouldn't I?! They sent pictures!"
"The guy admitted it was edited," Chigiri whispered to Reo.
"And its not like I'm like you three with your stupidly good looks despite your terrible personalities!"
"We'll give you some slack and let that one slide since you did just get out of a relationship with a 50 something yrs old man," Chigiri graciously offered.
"A-and its not like online dating is a bad thing! Even Reo's goddess of a cousin is dating someone online!"
Chigiri immediately swallowed down his retort. He peeked at Reo and ah...
'Stupid Igaguri, you stepped on a landmine.'
Chigiri himself didn't exactly know the full picture, only that he heard what happened to Reo's cousin was so bad it made her run away to the States.
Igaguri's wailing slowly died down as he noticed the strange atmosphere. "What's wrong?"
He carefully looked at Reo's expression. His two braincells going overdrive as he slowly came to the conclusion that—
Gasp.
"No way! Don't tell me Goddess Reika also got catfished?!"
Which brave son of bitch did such a thing?!
Reo clicked his tongue. "No she didn't. You think the Mikages are as gullible as you?"
Reo let out a breath.
"I heard they've actually met. She is simply..." Reo reached for a can of soda and took a drink. "...no longer participating in that relationship. It was a mutual decision."
Crackle—!
A dent appeared on the can as Reo's face contorted in obvious disgust. "Afterall, the guy had an attention span of a dog in heat. A shameless lying waste of oxygen."
The other three at the table looked at each other.
'She definitely got cheated on,' they immediately concluded.
"Well..." Igaguri squeaked out, "...atleast she wasnt catfished?"
That earned him a glare from Reo. Terrified that he might suddenly find the can in Reo's hand shoved down his throat, Igaguri quickly clarified.
"I-I mean not that I have any right to speak on what Goddess Reika went through! I just meant for us guys, there's nothing more shameful than finding out the love of your life isn't exactly who she says she is at all!"
Reo paused.
"Like, imagine. I've been sending them hearts and kisses everyday. Even jerked off to the pictures they sent—"
Chigiri: "Gross. Too much information."
"—we even had e-sex. I called them daddy's little princess. I sent "*pulls you to my lap and strokes your hair*" to a balding old man through chat—"
Rin: "If you dont shut up right now."
"—Its the kind of thing that makes a man want to kill himself. Recalling everything..." Igaguri sniffed, tearing up again, "it makes me wanna die!"
Reo: "Thats great!"
Everyone froze, taken aback.
Igaguri stopped breathing.
"You—you—how could you—" He pointed a shaky finger at Reo, "I thought you were abit better than these two because you freely let me take your food from the fridge—but turns out you're actually no better! You want me dead! you evil elitist—!"
Reo casually slapped Igaguri's offensive finger. "What are you going on about? and wait. You were the one who kept stealing my food from the fridge? I've always thought it was Chigiri."
Chigiri huffed. "I've been telling you it wasn't me!"
Reo waved a dismissive hand.
"Anyway, I've been thinking. You said you're in this—" he gestured vaguely at Igaguri, "—state. Because of the psychological damage you got from finding out your girlfriend actually had dick and balls right?"
"Thats a crude way to put it but yeah..."
"What happened to Nee-san," Reo shook his head, "Even I know only bits and pieces, she has been avoiding the topic, understandably putting it all behind her. While Dad thinks its a waste of time and resources to deal with a nobody."
"I, however, think that parasite moved on with his life way too easily. He faced no consequence or whatsoever."
The corners of Reo's lips slowly started to rise.
"Listening to your plight gave me some ideas. What if I became that guy's whole world? make him fall for me so hard he thinks of me in his sleep. Then when the time is right," a wicked grin spread on his face, "I'll crush both his heart and spirit by breaking up with him (combo) and revealing the love of his life is actually a man (combo x2). Sounds like the perfect depression inducing humiliation ritual don't you think?"
It was quiet for a moment.
"Reo, that's so..." Igaguri started.
Chigiri: "Interesting."
Rin: "Lukewarm."
"Evil!" Igaguri finished.
"That man will want to kill himself!"
Exactly as he intended, Reo sighed dreamily at the thought. "What a wonderful ending that would be."
Igaguri was horrified. The other two's lack of reaction making him realize he's the only sane person in the room.
Oblivious to Igaguri's thoughts, Chigiri raised a hand. "One concern."
Reo adjusted his posture akin to a CEO in a boardroom. He nodded his head. "Speak."
"The reveal's emotional impact is going to be completely different between you and Igaguri's middle aged balding sweetheart—"
"Stop bringing up that bastard, please!" Igaguri shut his eyes and covered his ears.
"—In fact, rather than humiliation, wouldn't it just fuel his ego to know he had a connection and was flirted with by someone of your status?"
That was a very valid concern. The name Mikage Reo held more prestige than most luxury brands. He had the talent, looks, and status. Many even considered it a privilege to breathe the same air as him.
Also, he was someone who routinely received chocolates on Valentines Day from both guys and girls. He held an appeal that transcended genders entirely. So, wouldn't there be a possibility that the guy would still like him even after reveal?
Reo was in a bind. He really wasn't keen on adding more to his already overflowing catalog of suitors.
That was when Rin, who had been staying silent, suddenly spoke. "Just have Igaguri do the reveal."
Igaguri: "Excuse me?"
Chigiri: "That's a great idea!"
Igaguri huffed and puffed. "Are you implying seeing my face causes the same amount of emotional damage as a balding old man?!"
Rin shrugged.
Chigiri raised both hands but didn't deny.
Reo looked at him up and down, seriously considering. "Well you certainly already got the bald part right..."
"I hate you all," Igaguri seriously considered his life choices. How did he even get roomed with these people?
He cursed.
"May you all never get a girlfriend in this lifetime!"
And as it turned out, Igaguri may have possessed a hidden talent for reading the future. Because in this lifetime, Reo, Chigiri, and Rin never did actually get a girlfriend.