Work Text:
“Yashiro,” Nene hears that god-foresaken, devil-cursed voice singing from next to her, “Guess what?”
Nene groans, slamming her fist on her keyboard. She had been in her flow, typing away on her article on the changing tropes in romance. She had finally been happy with where her writing was going.
Of course, Amane’s sole purpose in life is to ruin any sort of happiness that Nene might achieve.
She hears him laugh. “Now, now, Yashiro, calm down. Don’t try to sound so excited.”
She takes a deep breath. Amane is incredibly lucky there’s a wall separating them on the table, otherwise she might’ve ripped out his hair. She peeks her head out to see what the hell her coworker wants.
He grins in the most infuriating yet attractive way possible, Nene’s traitorous heart can’t help but beat a little faster.
“What?”
“So,” he begins, folding his hands, “Recall that article we worked on a few months ago?”
“Yes, because I’m going to recall an article we worked on a few months ago,” she deadpans. Amane always had this habit of vaguely referencing things and expecting her to know what he was talking about.
“The one about how astronomy is depicted in literature,” he explains, like it’s obvious, “Well, it seems like The Astronomical Times noticed it and was very impressed because they just emailed me.”
All the irritation filters out of Nene. She gasps loudly enough that other people start giving her dirties. “Really?”
“You got it,” Amane grins, turning his laptop to face her. There, an email opened, sent from The Astronomical Times.
Nene skims through the email. Dear Amane Yugi… we are very impressed with your work… hoping you might consider—
“Dropping in for an interview?!” she exclaims, followed by multiple people in the office shushing her. She mumbles a quick apology before continuing in a whisper, “Amane— That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you.”
“Thanks, mother,” he laughs, turning his laptop back around, “I can’t stop rereading the email.”
Nene doesn’t blame him. They both have always wanted to become journalists, longer than they both knew each other. He had a blog, back in university, about all the latest astronomical news. Nene never had any interest in science or the stars, but his blogs made them sound so fascinating. Even when they parted ways for a bit after they graduated, she still read them. Amane had a knack for writing and reporting about astronomy — the thousand likes on his blogs agreed with her. When she expressed this to him, he decided he not only wanted to make a living out of journalism, but journalism specifically on astronomy.
Nene had assumed that was his goal the entire time. He minored in astrophysics and majored in journalism. But Amane said his minor was just for fun.
Amane couldn’t immediately apply for an astronomy-based news agency — all of them required some form of experience beforehand. He hopped around between different agencies, before finding Nene’s somehow. This is his third job now. After a few years here, he was initially going to apply to a proper astronomy news agency. But now he doesn’t have to.
“Let’s go out for drinks this week,” Amane says, already typing away at his laptop again.
“You haven’t even gone in for the interview, though,”
“Who cares, I need a reason to celebrate,” Amane replies with a huff, “and we haven’t hung out in weeks.”
“I see you at work everyday,”
“That’s not enough,”
“Is it not?” Nene laughs, rolling back to her laptop, “I thought you’d be sick of me.”
“How could I ever be sick of such a sweetheart like you, Yashiro?”
“You should really shut up before I make you.”
“Careful. That sounded awfully suggestive.”
“I’ll kill you,”
“Awesome! The last thing I’ll see before I die is you.”
And they continue their back-and-forth until somebody on their table tells them to shut up.
☆*⁀‧₊˚
“Don’t even start with me, Nene,” Aoi’s fist crashes into the table, loud enough to make Nene flinch. Even on facetime, an irritated Aoi is a scary Aoi. “My boss won’t listen to any of my proposals.”
“Cheer up, Aoi,” Nene says, slurping her noodles. Her phone is propped up against a decorative candle. “I’m telling you, you have amazing qualifications, so you should apply somewhere else.”
“Nobody else pays like this place does though,” Aoi sighs.
“Not worth it if you’re being treated like shit.”
“In this economy?”
“Touche,” Nene admits, “but I’d do anything to leave my job.”
As if somebody flipped a switch on her, Aoi’s wallowing turns into something mischievous. Nene knows what’s coming.
“And leave your Awfully Attractive Amane?” Aoi laughs.
“Stop calling him that!” Nene exclaims, covering her face with her hands.
“You’re the one who gave him that title!”
“I was speaking objectively! God, Aoi, if he ever finds out about that, I’ll never hear the end of it.”
“So how is he?”
Nene stirs her noodles. “He’s been doing good. Got an interview from The Astronomical Times today.”
“Oh, that’s amazing for him,” Aoi smiles, “Now you can finally leave your job.”
“Aoi, I hate you.”
“Come on, just consider him!” she insists, “What doesn’t he have? You said he was attractive, he’s smart, funny…”
“A year younger than me,” Nene adds.
“Who cares, Nene! You’re twenty-five, not thirteen!”
“I’m– I don’t know, Aoi,” Nene sighs, “I can’t picture it, us being romantic… he teases me too much.”
“He teases you out of pure love,” Aoi says, “and definitely not the platonic kind. Think about the last time he dated.”
“He’s just introverted,” Nene says, quickly, “he says he doesn’t like to date.”
“Introverted? Really, Nene? He’s the most outgoing, charming boy I know.”
“You’ve only met him, like, twice,”
“I’ve heard enough to know,” Aoi smiles, “You should really get your feelings in check, Nene. He won’t be with you for long.”
“What do you mean?”
“If he gets accepted and switches to The Astronomical Times, you won’t be able to see him,”
“Our apartments are near each other, Aoi, I’ll be bound to bump into him,” Nene explains, “and we’re good friends, so we’ll meet up often—”
“You silly girl,” Aoi says, an incredulous look on her face, “The Astronomical Times is all the way in Yokohama, Nene. He’s going to move away.”
Nene’s heart drops.
Move away?
“What? He didn’t tell me that,”
“He probably assumed you knew, it's common knowledge,” she replies, but Nene can barely hear her anymore. There’s manly shouting and beeping coming from her end. Aoi sighs, slamming her fist on the table again. Nene flinches again.
“Um, what’s happening?” Nene asks, startled.
“Nene, I’m gonna have to end the call,” Aoi says, “Teru’s over and he said he’d cook and now he and Akane are fighting and I think I can smell burning. Think about what I said, okay? Bye!”
Before Nene can reply, the call disappears.
If Amane moves away, then she won’t be able to see him anymore. The teasing, drinking coffee together in their breaks, stealing glimpses at the other person’s work for ideas, catching the train home together… all gone?
Hey, Amane said on the way home that his interview is tomorrow, so he hasn’t gotten in yet. He might still have a chance of staying with her—
Nene slaps herself. What is she thinking? Amane has worked so hard to get this opportunity and she’s not going to be selfish. She’s happy for him. Very happy for him.
But when she remembers the smile Amane had today when he teased her, she can’t find any of that happiness she claims to have. Work will be so dull once he’s gone.
Wait. When did Nene care so much about Amane? Why is she so sad he’s going? This is amazing for him. Amane finally will get the job he’s worked so hard for. His life will probably feel whole. Meanwhile, Nene feels like a piece in her life is missing and she knows her job won’t fill that role. She should stop projecting onto him so Nene will stick to her city life and her job and Amane will work near the sparkling coast.
What if she also finds a job in Yokohama? There must be a lot of news agencies there. In fact, the job she has right now has a branch there. She can just ask to transfer to that branch. And she’ll basically be switching to a new scenery without much changing, just as she’s always wanted—
Nene slaps herself again. She does it hard enough this time for the sting to linger. What is her problem? Is she Amane’s dog that wherever he goes, she’ll follow? Why does she care so much that he’s going in the first place?!
She can’t really be in love with him. He looks nothing like the guys she’s into. He’s too thin and pale and his hair looks like it’s been cut blind. She didn’t lie when she said he’s awfully attractive, but there seems to be nothing else going for him.
No, she only misses him because they’re close friends. What else could it be? They’ve known each other for years, since high school!
Well, not technically since high school. He was in the grade below her. Back then, he was just another face Nene walked by in school, unknowing and uncaring.
To attend the university that had the best resources for journalism, Nene moved across the country, thrown into a place where she was surrounded by unfamiliar faces. That first year, she spent with basically no friends and cried almost every night before she slept. She swept through photos of people she knew, people she recognised, even if not very well, like a mourning widow. She doesn’t like to think back to that. It was pathetic.
In her second year, she considered moving closer to home and switching to another university, even if they didn’t offer much for journalism. She just wanted to be somewhere close to home, close to the people she knew.
When she walked into the first class of the year, she spotted a face she recognised for the first time in what felt like forever. Not very well, but nonetheless, recognisable. A scrawny, amber eyed boy, hunched over the seat she usually sat in, typing away on his laptop.
Since then, Amane has been one of her best friends. In university, he was her only friend. When they graduated, she cried because she thought they wouldn’t see each other that much again. He wanted to stay in Kyoto, but Nene was going to move back to Tokyo, where her family was.
So, they’ve known each other for a very long time. That has to be why Nene is so devastated.
They’re good friends.
Nothing more than that.
☆*⁀‧₊˚
Nene stands in the storage room, tilting her head up. The spare mouses are all the way on the top of the shelf, smirking down at her like they expected her to grovel. All the other shelves are empty and some probably ten foot tall jerk decided to put them at the top.
Somebody knocks on the door behind her. “You’re glaring at the mouses like they personally offended you.” A pause. “Wait. Mouses? Mice?”
Nene turns her head away, unable to keep eye contact with Amane for too long ever since yesterday. Her own stupid thoughts made this weird!
“Alright, I’ll help you princess, step back,” Amane stands next to her. He raises his eyebrows. “...damn, they’re higher than I thought.”
He scans the room and picks up a foldable chair, placing it in front of the shelf.
“Creative,” Nene teases.
“My IQ levels are beyond your wildest imagination,” he grins, beckoning Nene to step on the chair.
Nene giggles and places one foot on the seat of the chair, then the other.
She shouldn’t have been shocked when her balance slips considering she’s once tripped over air before.
Nene lets out a shriek and when she expects her head to meet the floor hard, it collides with warmth.
Amane holds her bridal style, her feet up in the air. She blinks up at him, breathless. If she hadn’t been caught, God, she might have had a concussion.
Nene braces herself for his teasing remark, probably something like you’re such a klutz or do I always need to save you?
But where there should have been mischief, there’s concern plastered over his face. Nene’s heart flutters.
“Are you hurt?” he asks softly. His breath tickles her skin.
Nene shakes her head. “I’m fine.”
“You should really be more careful,” Amane murmurs. His face is too close to hers right now. That’s the only explanation for why her eyes drop to his lips.
What would it be like to kiss someone like Amane? She always thought he’d be the controlling, teasing type to pull away in between to murmur something mocking. His soft concern right now says otherwise; he’d be gentle, tuck your hand behind your ears lightly, he wouldn’t overstep the line or—
“Yashiro,” Amane’s voice sends her back to reality, “I know being in my arms might be nice, but they’re starting to hurt. Think it’s your ankles—”
Nene swiftly punches him in the chest and leaves Amane groaning. She stands on her feet and huffs.
“That soured any sort of gratitude I may have had,”
“So you would rather you fell?” Amane laughs, still clutching his chest, “I’d be too jealous watching your head kiss the floor.”
Kiss. She imagined what it would be like to kiss Amane.
Nene knows she’s a little shameless but now she’s starting to think she’s helpless beyond repair. She has the audacity to wonder why guys won’t date her. Her hand itches to slap herself and she would if Amane isn’t right in front of her.
Amane climbs onto the chair himself and grabs the box with the mouse in it. He jumps down gracefully and hands Nene the box.
“Chivalry,” he begins with that grin, “isn’t so dead after all.”
“You will be dead when I’m done with you,” Nene mutters, snatching the box from him. “Thank you.”
“No problem,”
“Interview today?” she asks.
“Yep,” he nods, “I really hope I get in.”
“Same,” Nene smiles, “Your astronomy blog days don’t feel so long ago.”
“No,” he chuckles, shaking his head, “they don’t.”
Now Nene wants him to leave all the way to Yokohama. If he goes, her thoughts of kissing him also goes. They’ll both definitely find someone better to kiss when they’re apart.
“It’s a shame, though,” Amane says with a small smile, looking at the floor.
“Hm?”
“I’ll miss you,”
Nene for a moment thinks she imagined it. One, because he said it so quietly and two because he never says things like that. Amane expresses his emotions in the form of humour and teasing. In all the years she’s known him, he almost never admits vulnerability like this.
Nene fights back tears and hopes her voice is stable when she murmurs back,“I’ll miss you too.”
☆*⁀‧₊˚
Nene is watching a rerun of some bachelor show she’s never heard of when Amane calls her. She picks up with embarrassing speed.
“Hello?” she says.
“Darling, be more professional,” Amane says with a cheeriness that can only mean one thing, “You’re talking to a future astronomy reporter.”
Nene squeals into the phone before anything. “Amane! Oh my god– Congratulations!”
“I’ve worked so hard for this, Yashiro,” he says with a huff of laughter, “I want to kiss the floor right now. You’re the first person I called.”
That makes the corners of Nene’s mouth lift up. “Really?”
“You’ve been with me since I started my degree, I mean,” he says, “Anyways. We’re a hundred percent going out for drinks on Friday. Only you and me before I leave.”
“Of course,” Nene says, unable to keep the smile off her face, “When do you leave?”
“In a week,” Amane says.
Nene’s heart drops. That’s not even close to the time she thought she had.
“How will you pack in one week?” Nene asks.
“Um,” Amane laughs, “there’s not much to pack. I don’t have that many things to move anyway.”
Right. How could Nene have forgotten Amane’s furniture is all rented. How that man is not broke to his ends is still a mystery.
“Then,” Nene says, “have you booked your flight?”
“Flight?” he echoes, “What– To– W–”
“Amane? You’re cutting off,”
“In– Tu– Bye–” and the call cuts off.
Nene tosses her phone across the couch. In one week, Nene won’t see Amane everyday. She won’t hear his stupid innuendoes, his stupid grin, his stupid stories about how the stars came to be, his stupid lips, his stupid face… she won’t see him for a very long time.
No. She’s happy for him. She’s so happy for him. It’s what he’s dreamed of.
Then why are tears streaming down her face at the thought of not seeing him?
Nene sniffles and wipes her tears with her sleeve. This is so stupid, why is she– Amane’s just her good friend, not even her closest. Why does her heart ache? Why can’t she stop thinking about his soft, concerned face? Why can’t she stop thinking about him? Why does she care so much?
Oh God. She loves him.
She loves him badly.
And the chances of Amane liking her back are… well, slim.
Nene always nagged him about finding somebody but Amane has made it clear he doesn’t intend to date anytime soon. A lot of girls and guys have been interested in him but he’s never looked their way. Nene even tried to set him up with multiple of her friends in university. Amane wanted to find love in his own time. So how would Nene be the one to break that rule?
Even if he said yes, how would they work out? He’s leaving in a week. She could leave for Yokohama with him… but she doesn’t want to be away from her family or friends any longer than she already has. She’ll only hold him back.
Nene’s tears become less sad and more frustrated. She punches her couch. It’s going to be so awkward if she tells him. Better just to say nothing. When he leaves, she’ll forget about him.
Great job, Nene. Go ahead and realise you’ve fallen in love right before the man's leaving.
☆*⁀‧₊˚
It’s hard to look at Amane. On the train, he asked her why she was being weird. She blamed it on feeling tired. It didn’t help how he kept bragging about how he’ll see the sea from the windows of his new building.
Amane’s in a joyous mood now. He’s greeting hello to everyone, completing his articles on time for once and even bringing Nene a cookie from the break room. He’ll hand in his resignation soon.
Nene’s an idiot. This is her punishment for spending too long convincing herself she isn’t in love with Amane. She doesn’t even know when the subconscious shift from friend to crush came about.
“This is so annoying,” Nene mutters to herself.
“What is?” Amane asks in a too cheerful tone for her gloomy mood. He peeks his head over their divider. “I can help you with it.”
“No, thank you, Mr. Sunshine,” Nene sighs, “not even you can help me with this.”
Nene realises – she has her love expert who can help her out with this. She opens her phone, dials Aoi’s number and asks if she can meet up at the cafe nearby.
Nene goes out on her break to meet up with Aoi. They sit together on an outside table.
“Nene, nene, nene,” Aoi sighs, resting her chin in her palm. “this is why you listen to me.”
“What should I do? I can’t even look at him,” Nene says quickly, “And I feel like he’s going to catch on that I’m not happy about him leaving.”
“You should tell him how you feel,” Aoi says, “You plan on doing that… right?”
Nene glances away.
“No?” Aoi exclaims, “Nene— He’s going in less than a week!”
“Yeah! All the better reason not to tell him,” she takes a furious bite of her muffin, “I’ll be over him when he goes.”
“That’s not how emotions work, dear,” Aoi says, shaking her head. “You said you’re going out for drinks on Friday, right? Tell him then.”
“He’s going to say no, Aoi,” Nene buries her face in her hands, “He doesn’t want to date anyone.”
“Maybe he wants to get into a relationship with you ?”
Nene drops her hands to give her an incredulous look. “Really, Aoi? The man once told me he thinks not participating in love is a way of ‘rejecting capitalism’. He says it’s too much work. He’ll never want to date me.”
“Nene, don’t be so negative,” she says, patting her hand, “he could consider you. You should ask him about dating again, just to hint at it. Besides, he at least seems to care for you in a way he doesn’t for others.”
Aoi has a point. When they hang out, she’s never paid. He always makes her coffee in the morning. He remembers things about her that she forgets herself. Not to mention he is very picky about his music but he always lets her play what she wants when they share earphones on the train. But...
“All the things he does though can be seen as basic friendship,” Nene says, tilting her head, “It doesn’t necessarily mean he likes me.”
“I think it does mean he likes you, Nene,”
“Who likes you?”
Nene and Aoi both flinch.
Nene whips her head around. “I thought you wanted to work during your break,”
“Well, I couldn’t because,” Amane gestures towards Tsukasa next to him, who smiles exuberantly.
“Hello, Nene!” Tsukasa greets.
Tsukasa must have forced Amane to meet up with him, as he usually does. Nene raises her hand up in a wave,“Hey.”
“Who’s your pretty friend?” Tsukasa asks. Amane pinches the bridge of his nose.
Aoi giggles. “Akane Aoi,” she introduces herself.
“Can I have your number?”
“I’ve got a boyfriend,” Aoi says, almost proudly.
Tsukasa hangs his head low and sighs with a pout. “Let’s go, Amane.”
“Sorry, I don’t know why he asked that,” Amane explains quickly, pinching the bridge of his nose, “he’s already talking to a girl right now.”
Aoi looks stunned and Nene can’t help but laugh. “Okay, bye guys,” Nene waves.
Amane doesn’t respond but gives her a look that says we’ll talk about this later and walks off.
Once he’s out of earshot, Nene murmurs, “Aoi, I’m so done.”
☆*⁀‧₊˚
Nene’s co-workers are planning a surprise party for Amane tomorrow. They’re ordering an insane amount of donuts, all with different, funky flavours. Nene knows Amane’s favourite is homemade, plain donuts but she doesn’t say anything. She’s already worrying enough about Amane to stress over a stupid surprise party. He’ll get his real surprise party when she tells him she likes him.
On the way back home, Nene and Amane sit on the train, shoulders and legs pressed together. This is, usually, normal for how they sit so they can share earphones. However, today, Nene is aware of every shift of Amane’s body against hers and she cannot pay attention to anything else.
Yesterday, Nene chickened out of asking Amane about dating. He fell asleep on the train and Nene couldn’t stop staring at his peaceful face. She felt like a predator.
Today, she has to ask. She gulps and taps Amane’s shoulder. He pauses the music.
“Amane, can I ask you something?” Nene says.
“You already are, sweetheart,” he teases. Nene rolls her eyes. “Okay, go on.”
“Um,” Nene tucks a strand of hair behind her ear, “Are you really serious about not wanting to, um, date for now?”
Amane tilts his head and hums. “I just don’t see the purpose of dating, Yashiro. I’m not going to be actively looking for love. Sure, if I like someone, I’ll pursue them, but for now, I don’t want to date.”
“There’s nobody you like?” Nene asks, fumbling with her bracelet.
“Nope,” Amane says. His lips widen into a mischievous grin. “Why? Wanna be my lover?”
“No!” Nene gasps and looks away. Oh god, how red is she right now?
She slaps herself instinctively.
Loud enough for everybody on the carriage to stop what they’re doing and look at her. A high school boy snorts.
Did she really slap herself in public?!
Nene doesn’t know what to do. She just avoids eye contact but the train is packed. And each person is looking at her. She makes sure to make it look like her shoes are very interesting. God, this is so humiliating—
Amane yells. Just opens his mouth and yells, like ahh!
Nene, and the whole train, flinch.
An old man eyes Amane with pity. The high school boy lets out a louder snort. A child gapes at Amane and her mother whispers, “See, love, some people like that man there aren’t like us.”
Nene presses her hand to her mouth to stifle her laughter at the sheer absurdity.
“What’re you laughing at?” Amane whispers, but there’s a giggle in his voice too.
“Why would you–” Nene tries to speak, but she’s laughing too hard and it comes out muffled beneath her hand. “Oh, God, Amane, you’re insane.”
“I’m insane?” Amane whispers harshly, his laughter spilling out, “You slapped yourself. I just followed your lead. I figured it was embarrass-yourself-in-public-day.”
“Amane—” Nene laughs harder, her hand unable to muffle the clear sound of laughter now. Amane clutches her knee and laughs with her.
Nene and Amane lean forward, their shoulders shaking with silent laughter, while the whole train probably stares at both of them, most likely wondering what nutcases have landed on their train.
☆*⁀‧₊˚
Friday arrives. Nene rethinks over and over about what she’ll say to Amane, even when her head starts to hurt.
She’s going to be rejected, that much is clear. He’s sweet and kind and caring to her so specifically but he said he doesn’t want a relationship. Nene has come to peace with it. Amane will eventually find a stunning lady in Yokohama who is just as intelligent as him and they’ll talk for hours about the universe and have a wedding at night underneath the stars. She just hopes she won’t freak him out so badly tonight that he won’t send her an invite when the day comes.
Nene finds Amane in the bar over the countertop, chatting with the bartender.
“Yashiro,” Amane grins when he catches her eye.
Nene is going to miss how he says her name. Nobody else says it like that.
She smiles back and leans over the countertop. “Have you ordered anything yet?”
He shakes his head. “Figured I’d wait for you. So, something strong? Wanna get wasted?”
“Maybe?” she shrugs. Nene knows she can’t confess without some alcohol in her system but she can’t be so drunk that she says something wrong. “You know I have a high tolerance, it’s hard for me to get drunk easily.”
“Then I’ll make sure you drink enough to get drunk,”
“I don’t know, Amane,”
“Come on, Yashiro, it’s a Friday night!” Amane says, nudging her, “We’re drinking to my success!”
His success.
Nene has to stop being so selfish and realise this is the last night in a very long time she will spend with Amane. This isn’t about her or her complicated feelings. This is about Amane, one of her best friends. He worked his ass off for this and considers her highly enough to invite her one-on-one for drinks before he leaves. She shouldn’t ruin the night. She should savour what they already have. Who cares if he never knows? Nene will forget that she ever liked him in a few months when she probably finds her next eye candy.
“Alright,” Nene grins, “Amane, this will be an unforgettable last night.”
Straight off, Amane orders shots of vodka. Nene downs it with a laugh. Then he orders more shots of tequila, mixes them, and makes her drink them with a cheeky smile on his face.
Nene can get through a whole bottle and only feel a little tipsy. So by the time they’re done with drinks, she only feels mildly off balance. Her edges are softened, that’s for sure, but she can certainly think straight.
Amane on the other hand…
He was a goner the second he took his first shot.
He sings loudly, and very off-tunely, to a mainstream song he claimed he hated a few weeks ago. People eye at him and Nene feels an odd sense of deja vu from the other day on the train.Yet, now they peer at him with amusement.
“I know you love me! I know you dare—”
“It’s care,” Nene corrects.
“Well, I don’t care,” he drawls, sticking out his tongue, “You are my love! You are my… my…”
“Heart,” Nene finishes.
“Stop being a smartass!” Amane exclaims, shaking her shoulders.
“I’m not being a smartass!” Nene raises her hands, “Everybody knows Justin Bieber!”
“Like personally?!” Amane shrieks, “How?”
Nene sighs. “You’re so drunk right now.”
“I’m… not really. I’ve been drunker than this,”
Nene raises her brows incredulously. This is probably the drunkest she’s ever seen him. His cheeks are tinted bright pink, as if somebody put a comical amount of blush on him. He slurs on every word. And god, he was talkative before but now he just won’t stop talking.
“Nene,” Amane says, with a pout, “I’m upset with you.”
“Upset?” Nene repeats with a laugh.
“Uh huh,” he mumbles, petulantly, “I wanna know who you guys were talking about.”
“What are you talking about?” Nene asks, now intrigued.
“The other day with Aoi. She said something— something about a guy liking you,”
Nene stutters. She forgot he heard that. “I— I can’t tell you, Amane,”
This is strange. Nene isn’t drunk. She’s barely even tipsy.
So why does it seem like Amane is genuinely upset about this? Is she imagining the frustration in his tone? Is it truly the alcohol?
“Of course you can’t,” he huffs and turns his head away sharply, “This guy probably doesn’t even deserve you.”
“What?”
“You’re amazing and caring and sincere and clumsy and cute and, and…” Amane taps his chin, then frowns, “other things. What’s so good about that guy, anyway? He’s probably a duplicate of that boy’s older brother you think is hot.”
“Amane!”
“It’s true,” Amane crosses his arms, “All the guys you like are utterly vain, Yashiro. They always think their worth is higher than yours.”
What is this man going on about? “Amane—”
“Whatever. I don’t care,” he mutters, “I don’t! I don’t— What do you see in those guys anyway?”
Nene stays silent, pursing her lips and avoiding eye contact. She knows it’s no use, he’s going to keep asking questions.
She knew Amane was protective but never to this extent. He sounds almost…
“Amane, are you jealous?”
Amane rapidly blinks. “Je- What? Jealous?” he repeats, “Of course I am!”
Nene’s eyebrows raise. “What?”
“I see you, everyday, fawn over a new guy, and I’ve had to watch,” Amane groans, rubbing his head, “It’s painful. It’s like you can’t even see what’s right here.”
This can’t be real. Nene has to be drunk. This has to be a dream.
She pinches her arm. When she still sees Amane’s pouty, flushed face, she increases the harshness until her skin is red.
She keeps hold of her fingers until she wakes from this bizarre dream when Amane catches her wrist.
“Stop,” he mumbles, “Is it really so hard to believe that I like you?”
“Amane, stop joking around, this isn’t funny,” Nene scolds, shaking her wrist. His grip is too hard.
“I’m not joking,” he insists petulantly. The continuous slur in his voice doesn’t convince her. “Yashiro, please. Listen to me.”
“Amane, stop!” she frees her wrist.,“You can’t— Don’t say things like that…”
What type of sick joke is Amane playing on her? Did he somehow figure out that she likes him and wants to taunt her about it? She hates this, hates how it sounds like he’s telling the truth.
Amane speaks, his voice small. “I knew you didn’t like me, but I didn’t expect you to react like this.”
“Don’t like you?” Nene repeats incredulously, “Amane, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you. Nonstop, you’re— you’re in my mind all day long. And now you’re going to leave me with these feelings and… and…”
Nene doesn’t realise she’s crying until Amane wipes a tear off her cheek.
“Now you’re teasing me,” he murmurs.
“I’m not,” she mumbles, sniffling.
“Then who were you talking about with Aoi?”
“You, Amane, you!” Nene says, louder than she intended. She lets out a pathetic sob. “You’re— You’re such an idiot, you know that?”
Nene doesn’t know why she’s crying. Is it because she’s been stressed for an entire week, convinced this man doesn’t like her, for no reason? Because Amane has liked her for such a long time and she remained oblivious, denying her own feelings? Is it because she knows they don’t have much time left to be together before he leaves?
Before she can decide, Amane kisses her.
☆*⁀‧₊˚
If the previous night could’ve led to something more, it doesn’t.
Number one, Amane was completely wasted. He tried to kiss her more but she refused. He smelled too much like a bad decision. Nene had to take him to her apartment since she knew he shouldn’t be left alone in a state like that. She only got his shoes off before he sprinted with Olympian speed to the bathroom and barely reached the toilet. He refused to even let her wash her makeup off by holding her with a horrifying grip for a drunk person. Then he promptly passed out on her bed and Nene decided she wasn't in the mood to detangle herself from him, so she followed him into a deep slumber.
Number two, Nene doesn’t even know if kissing her was a spur of the moment, if he was spewing complete nonsense the night before. This only occurred to her when she was trying to figure out how to wriggle out of his arms in the morning. She decides to push down these thoughts by making herself useful.
She plays a vinyl on her record player, tidies her living room and countertops and makes two and a half stacks of pancakes in an attempt to make herself forget that Amane sleeps in her bed right now. If she always had such dire problems, then perhaps she’d always be productive like this.
She hears a rustle and flinches. Oh, God, Amane’s up and he is going to be confused and say this is all a big mistake and never speak to her again—
No, he’s not awake yet, that’s the wind outside. Nene groans and flips another pancake onto the third stack. This is the third time she’s panicked. She would slap herself, if her cheek doesn’t sting from slapping herself so much already this week.
She turns to pour out more pancake mix but it’s all stuck at the bottom. She shakes it but nothing comes out. No, it’s not stuck at the bottom, it is empty.
Nene groans again. Great. Now she’s stuck with two and a half useless stacks of pancakes and nothing to do with them until Amane wakes—
Nene’s room door swings open. She freezes.
“It smells delicious,” Amane mumbles. His hair drips from the ends and a towel is hung around his shoulders, despite still wearing his sweater from the night before. Nene flushes and turns around to do something. Oh god, he looks unfairly attractive with wet hair. Don’t slap yourself, Nene.
“I took a shower, that alright?” he says.
Nene rolls her eyes. Amane’s the only person who does something and then asks if it’s okay.
“Shower?” she repeats, gaze fixed on the pancakes, “I didn’t hear the water running.”
“Maybe because your record player is on so high,” he chuckles. He reaches over and turns the volume lower.
He stalks over next to Nene and eyes the pancake stacks. “No judgement here, but is this how much you usually eat or—”
“Shush,” Nene mutters, now turning her head to lightly slap his shoulder, “I had some spare time. Did you take the medicine on your bedside?”
“Yes, mother,” he grins mockingly and Nene slaps him harder.
He sits on a high stool by the countertop. Maybe he doesn’t remember much from last night. Nene puts five pancakes on one plate, drizzles some maple syrup on it and slides it toward him.
“I can’t eat all this,” he says.
“Now you can. Eat up.”
“Yashiro, ever considered adopting?” he says in between bites. Nene scrunches her nose at the sight. “You’d be good at this mother thing.”
“I’ll give you three more if you don’t shut up right now,”
Amane laughs and continues eating. Nene grabs herself a pancake and slides in next to him. He’s acting normal, as if they didn’t confess they liked each other and kissed last night.
“Man,” Amane mumbles, “I was so wasted last night.”
Go for it, Nene.
She takes a deep breath. “Do you… remember anything?”
Amane pauses. “Not a thing. What did I do?”
Nene shakes her head. “Nothing. You just said some nonsense.”
“Yashrio,” he turns her head towards him.
“Amane, you okay? You look pale,”
“Yashrio, what did I say last night?”
Nene stammers. “You– You said you… um…”
Her heart is beating out of her chest. Amane can probably see it through her shirt.
She takes a deep breath. Amane was probably teasing last night, but she told the truth. He deserves to know that truth. And he doesn’t need to know what he said — he’ll be forced to say it was a joke. That’d be awkward for him and painful for her.
“I said, um…” she glances at her untouched pancakes, “I said I liked you.”
“Liked me?”
“Like in a, um, romantic sense.”
“Oh.”
Oh god, oh Lord. Nene doesn’t want to look at Amane’s face. She’s screwed, she’s done for, this is the last time they’ll ever eat together ever—
He doesn’t speak for a few beats. Nene can imagine how his face is twisted with shock, with disgust, with pity.
“Did we…” Amane clears his throat, “did we do anything?”
The implication isn’t lost on her. “You kissed me for a bit,” she says, “but I didn’t let you do much more. You were so drunk.”
“Oh, thank god,” Amane sighs. Tears beg to flow out of Nene's eyes and she struggles to fight them. She was so foolish for thinking last night that he wasn’t teasing. How could she forget that alcohol makes Amane ten times more malicious? How—
“I mean, I wouldn’t wanna be drunk if something like that happens,” Amane says quietly, “I would wanna remember it when I wake up.”
Nene whips her head toward him. “What?”
“Yashiro, I don’t know what I said last night,” he says, a seriousness in his tone that Nene has never heard before, “but if I willingly kissed you… shouldn’t that tell you something?”
Nene blinks.
Amane sighs. “You’re lucky I think you’re cute,”
Huh? This is last night all over again. But Amane’s not drunk now.
“Amane, I’m—”
“Yashiro, I like you!” he exclaims, turning her head towards him again, “It’s– It’s always been you.”
“No, Amane—” This can’t be true. She feels a disturbing sense of deja vu.
“I could never imagine myself with anybody but you,” he continues, putting his head in his hands, “I think it started when I started working with you. Your laugh, it plays on repeat in my head. I started teasing you more, well because I…”
His cheeks tint pink and he glances away. “…I wanted to have your attention more. And it’s so frustrating when I see you talking to another guy and—”
“Amane, you said this last night,”
“Did I?” he says, facing her again, “Then why did you think I didn’t like you?”
“Because you were drunk and you’re always saying stupid shit when you’re drunk!” Nene exclaims, “Last time you were drunk, you said I was beautiful and— Oh.”
Amane raises his eyebrows. “I thought I was being obvious when I said that,”
“I assumed you were teasing,” Nene shrugs.
“Oh my god–” he starts laughing. Proper laughing. He clutches his stomach and leans forward.
“Hey, stop laughing at me!” Nene huffs, “How am I supposed to tell when you’re being serious? You said the other day you weren’t looking for a relationship!”
“I said that so the girl I like would stop pestering me about getting into a relationship!”
“It was misleading!”
“Ah, Nene,” Amane sighs, resting his chin on his palm, “You’re so cute, you know that?”
“Shut up,” she mutters.
They sit together in silence for a few minutes. Amane hums now, cutting his pancakes. This must be a pretty big deal for him. He said he liked Nene for, what, six months now and believed she didn’t like him back? Well… she didn’t realise it until last week, so that’s on her.
Stop thinking about Amane, you idiot, this is a big deal for you!
Nene can’t believe it. She refuses to believe it. Amane really does like her. And she’d been so blind to never realise it. She was so stupid, it took the possibility of him leaving her for her to realise. Maybe if she hadn’t been so swept up with other guys, she would’ve recognised what’s right here, right next to her.
Well, not for long. He’ll be miles away from her soon.
How could Nene forget the universe is actively rooting for her downfall?
“I can’t do long distance,” Nene says solemnly.
“Oh, I don’t mind it,” Amane says, putting a piece of pancake in his mouth, “Odd of you to bring it up though.”
“Why is it odd?” Nene asks, glancing at him, “Why are you so casual about this?”
“Um…” Amane looks at her as if she’s crazy, “Why wouldn’t I be? Are you moving away?”
“No, you are! Why are you joking at a time like this?” Maybe this is a sign they’re not going to work out; they’re already fighting.
“Where am I moving?” he asks.
“To Yokohama!”
“And why in the hell would I be moving to Yokohama?!”
“Because you're switching jobs!”
“My new job is literally fifteen minutes away from my place!”
Nene blinks, “What?”
“Who told you it was in Yokohama?”
Right, she certainly didn’t ask Amane. So who told her…
The Astronomical Times is all the way in Yokohama, Nene. He’s going to move away.
“Aoi, that damn girl,” Nene mutters.
“The headquarters are in Yokohama,” Amane explains, “but they have branches here. I would never move away even if it was all the way there.”
“Why not? Isn’t working at an astronomy news agency your dream?”
“It is, but my whole life is here,” Amane says with a warm smile, “I would never move that far by myself.”
Ah, Nene feels way lighter now.
“Oh, Amane,” she sighs, leaning her forehead on the cold marble, “I thought you were moving away. Do you even realise how stressed I was?”
“Silly girl,” Amane laughs.
“Shut up,”
“Wait,” Amane says, that seriousness back in his tone, “Look at me, Nene.”
Nene rises up, wondering what complication she's missed now. “What–”
He kisses her.
And this time, she lets him.
Nene never knew it could feel so freeing to kiss somebody. He rests a hand on her cheek gently. She wants more but she also has enough. He tilts her head for a better angle. Nene has never wanted somebody as much as she wants Amane. She holds his shoulders for balance as he leans forward.
But as she’s about to get lost in the sensation, the ugliness creeps in and infects her mind, like mould growing on bread. She’s able to drown it out for a few seconds before her thoughts become frantic. The kiss sours.
Nene pulls away with a gasp.
“What’s wrong?” Amane asks, breathless. He already looks at her as if he might actually die if she doesn’t start kissing him again.
“Think this through,” Nene warns.
“Nene, I’ve loved you for six months,” he says with a huff of laughter, leaning back in, “Trust me, I’ve thought this through.”
“No,” she pushes him lightly, “You– You don’t understand.”
“Alright,” he leans back and tilts his head, an amused glint in his eye, “What don’t I understand?”
“I’m clingy,” she begins.
Amane shrugs. “Me too,”
“I need a lot of reassurance,”
“You’ll get it,”
“I spend lots of money on things I forget I own,”
“I’ll help you spend wisely, then,”
“I’ll force you to watch romcoms,”
“Then I’ll force you to watch documentaries,”
“I’ll nag you a lot”
“That’s what I’m into,” he says with a wink.
“Amane! Take this seriously!”
Amane laughs. “How could I possibly? You’re listing the reasons why I love you in the first place.” he flicks her nose. “I can’t guarantee we won’t argue. If that’s what you’re afraid of, then I can’t prevent that—”
“No, it’s not that, it’s just–” Nene sighs, “I’m a lot.”
“You didn’t think I realised that the second I met you?” he says, “I don’t care if you’re a lot. I really don’t. I promise you, Yashiro, I’ll love you with all my heart. I’ll make you happy as much as you make me happy.”
Amane’s face scrunches. “Does that make sense?”
Nene laughs. “Yes, got it,”
“Good,” Amane says with a sigh. “I’m not the poetic one here. Great, we got that across.” He grins and leans in. “Let me kiss you now.”
“You’re so impatient,” Nene teases, lightly pushing him.
“I waited for you for six months,” Amane chuckles, leaning in, “Forgive me if I’m trying to rush.”
Amane kisses her.
The missing piece of Nene’s life is locked into place and she has a feeling it won’t fall out.