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When Dr. Grace refuses to join the crew as the science specialist, Stratt had been disappointed that she would have to force the man. She genuinely likes him. She could not respect him for the choices he was making, but that didn’t mean she wanted to send him to die.
But she did want to send him to save Earth.
It was easy to lead him into the small cell. It was harder to speak with him. He would not listen to what she was trying to convey. This is what it felt like for her everyday, speaking with people who were arrogant and selfish. It was exhausting, but it was also worth it because at the end of each meeting she could commiserate with Dr. Grace about how difficult people were being—he understood the real sacrifice that it took to save Earth.
That is why he was working in the Taskforce. He knew she was going to prison and didn’t seem all that worried about it—Eva had thought it was because he understood what the stakes were and that somebody had to bear them.
Eva Stratt thought Dr. Ryland Grace understood what it meant to work side-by-side to Earth’s scapegoat.
They both utilized whatever tool was available to them to its maximum use, including scientists and engineers and lab techs. He should have known he would be used like a rag until she finished wringing all the water out of him. And that when he was dry, she would start the cycle again. But Dr. Grace thought he was exempt from all that.
Whether or not Dr. Grace is a coward is up for debate among her crew, she knows. But there is one word that nobody could refute—he was selfish. He did not want to give his life for billions of others. He was hiding behind his students and lying about it.
He was hiding behind his past failures and fun nature to convince people he was not her second in command. How could a disgraced middle school teacher who wears funny shirts and trips on air be Eva Stratt’s second?
She wasted her time with him. It is not often that Eva makes mistakes of this extremity and it rattles her. He would not do this for Earth. He would not do this for his kids. He loves himself more.
He would not do this for her.
No, it was fine if the consequences fell on Eva Stratt and then he went on teaching, waiting until the beetles came back. It was perfectly acceptable to have Eva Stratt strip herself of her humanity to save Earth, but her second in command did not expect anything of this nature to be asked of him. Well, she didn’t know she had to ask.
And he said no.
*
Two days before launch, the day after Dr. Grace rejected the role, Eva was feeling confident that Earth could still be saved. That she could “pull this off.” Two guards were in place to protect her dear cowardly Doctor, the crew was preparing themselves by saying goodbye to family. There was excitement in the air.
It was happening. There was hope that the crew was going to send them Earth’s salvation in 26 years. They just had to hold out for 26 years.
Then, one of the guards grew a conscience—it might have been that he was fine with brutal murder in his previous job, but drew the line at ejecting an unwilling man to space—and went directly to Yao.
And Yao went to Dr. Grace.
Then Yao and Olesya were in her office.
And now she’s wiping spit off her face because Yao became very agitated at the thought of having an unwilling participant on the ship. Eva still had hope—here was her commander who understood what it meant to give until there was nothing more to give—surely, he would want the mission to go on without further complications?
They needed a science specialist—Eva found them a science specialist. There was nothing else to discuss. Earth needed saving. This was probably one of the last decisions that Eva would make that would impact Earth in a positive manner before she rotted in jail—and they wanted to take it from her?
Well, she had more than one cell. They both had families, she could use that against them, too, if they put up more of a fight. She doesn’t want to blackmail her heroes, but she wants Earth to survive and their last chance at survival is sitting in a cell crying. Why are they forcing her hand? She doesn’t have to do this. But like always, she will. She knows that Yao and Olesya know that Dr. Grace is their only option.
They do not want to be the one to pull the trigger. So they leave it to her. And that’s fine—that’s what she was hired for.
So why this show of morality when they all know Dr. Grace will be on that ship? She keeps her face impassive as they both rage against her. When it seems like they have ran out of original insults and demands, she speaks.
“What would you have me do?” Because for all the posturing, they did not have an actual solution. “Dr. Grace needs to be on that ship. And if I have to keep him in that cell and force him into it myself, then so be it. You know this is our last good option.”
They’re both quiet.
Pained faces.
Bloodless lips.
Do not worry, she wants to tell them. You can keep your hands clean. I will dirty my own for you and you can hate me once you’re up there. But please, God, take him with you up there.
But she stays quiet because the door slams open and Dr. Lokken rushes in, looking harried and breathless.
“You’re serious? He doesn’t want to go? You said he changed his mind!”
Eva stands. This is getting out of control. Where are her guards?
“Dr. Lokken, please come in and close the door. The doctor shakes her head, eyes wide. She looks like she’s about to cry.
“You can’t do that, Stratt. You’re a heartless bitch who takes parents from their children and—and kidnap people but this is going too far. Even by your standards!”
Well, that was unnecessarily cruel. It didn’t hurt, but Eva knows Dr. Lokken wanted it to. Did she think this would change her mind? Dr. Lokken finally walks fully into her office, and to Eva’s consternation, Dimitri and Dr. Lamai follow.
“I told Dr. Lami that we were planning to come here and confront you about it, in case you put us in cells, too.” These are the words that come out of Yao, but his face is panicked. Oh, was this not what you had in mind, Yao? Mutiny never crossed your brilliant mind?
“Come in and close the door.” She can’t drug all of them. That’s eight people that know—four was already too much, but she had chosen guards that had been very loyal to her. Not the Taskforce or the project, but her. She wonders what she did to lose that trust.
“Eva, you can’t do this,” Dimitri doesn’t beg but he doesn’t demand very strongly either. He just looks very pained.
“I can and I will. Give me an alternative that will not kill millions of people.” The rest of the group stare at each other. Silently, they elect Dimitri to speak again.
“Send in next in line, the scientist from—.”
“Do you know what she is doing now? She is working at a brewery. She does not have any education past her Bachelor’s in Chemistry. She knows nothing of astrophage.”
“We can push window back, we teach her everything! We even create a program—Grace can do it, he’s a teacher! A module she can finish before they reach Tau Ceti.” Dimitri continues frantically.
“A module with no practical application.” She deadpans. She turns to Yao. “Is that someone you want on your ship, Commander? Are you willing to stake the mission you are dying for on Caceres learning five years worth of information through a computer? Would you risk the integrity of the ship while she experiments for the first time in years? What if she makes one mistake and the astrophage implodes and you all die like Annie and DuBois?”
Eva knows mentioning their dead friends’ names was not necessary. But did they even think this through before coming in here and disturbing her? There is so much work to do, especially with a uncooperative scientist. Sending an unqualified person would be dangerous, more dangerous than they can imagine, apparently, since all of them look shocked.
“I would not be comfortable, no. But I am also not comfortable with Dr. Grace joining us if he is unwilling—even with all his expertise.” Yao concedes, then angers her again.
“That’s why I am Director and make the decisions you are all uncomfortable making.”
There’s silence. They’re all looking at each other. Dr. Lamai is staring right at Eva. There’s no malice in her eyes, but there’s judgment. That’s fine, Dr. Lamai, I’ll get my day in court soon enough. Or maybe I won’t but you’ll be able to attend my execution.
She addresses the next question to the man who is perhaps closest to Dr. Grace. Where is Carl?
“Dimitri, how many people did we estimate would die if we pushed the launch window?”
He rubs his hand over his face.
“Dimitri.”
“Millions. I do not—the exact number…escapes me.”
“Twenty million people would die if we push the window just three month. You should familiarize yourself with that number if you want to keep Dr. Grace on Earth. Those lives will weigh heavily on you.”
She is swaying them, she can tell. It was better when none of them were aware of the consequences of sending an unwilling man to space. The guilt is all consuming. There was a reason she did not run every decision against a team of counselors. Dr. Grace was her sounding board. But Eva has never shied away from guilt—she wears it proudly like a shroud. She knows she is right.
Eva knows that if he had more time and someone else was in his position, Dr. Grace would agree that this is the best course of action. He would feel terrible for forcing someone’s hand, but he would quietly resign himself to the facts. It’s what happened with the coma-resistance gene research, it’s what happened with nuking Antartica.
“Dr. Grace will understand with due time why I made this decision. He will never forgive me, but he will understand why there was no other option. His anger and fear will fade.” Not that it matters since he’ll be dead, but she doesn’t say that.
She knows Grace’s heart—if he doesn’t go, his guilt will quietly rip him apart. He would never be able to teach again. He could not face the little faces again. And then what would he do?She sits down, rearranges some papers on her desk.
“Any other questions?” She’s convinced them, she’s sure of it. They will turn their heads the other way and pretend that they couldn’t do anything about it to assuage their guilt. Good. Eva can carry it for them.
It is in that moment that Dr. Grace himself walks in to the room, rubbing his right wrist. He wasn’t even wearing handcuffs, please.
“Uh, hey guys.” He waves sheepishly. The rest of the members of the group rush to him, pat him on the shoulder, check his body for injuries. Honestly! The worst she was going to do was drug the man!
“Dr. Grace, who let you out?”
His sheepish smile falls when he addresses Eva.
“Redell found me, told the guards he had the President of the United States on the phone.”
Well.
Andrea Caceres it is, then. Good luck, girl. You will die for nothing.
Eva sighs. She sees Redell peeking into the room and waves him inside. Silently, the crowds parts to let him through, and he hands her a very thick and big phone. A secure line. How in the heavens did Redell get this?
“Stratt.”
Ah, so it is the President. She could recognize those dulcet tones anywhere.
Very well. They have signed their deaths.
“One second, please.” She mutes the line and turns to the people hovering. Still looking to her for the next step, still waiting for her instructions.
Still acting as if any of this matters when Dr. Grace will not be on that ship.
“Someone contact Caceres, I want her here before the end of the day.” She turns to Dr. Grace. “In the mean time, you will create a module on astrophage. She will complete this on the Hail Mary. Between the time she lands here and the second she steps into the launching site, you will be instructing her on anything and everything astrophage related.”
Eva takes a deep breath. Her hands are starting to shake. This is it. She has failed her mission. She cannot send Dr. Grace, not without starting a mutiny in here and she does not have enough time to convince the members of the UN. And she knows they would have eventually agreed with her.
“Why don’t we move the launch date?” Asks Dr. Grace. Because I am not that stupid, she wants to say. Instead she continues on as if he didn’t ask.
“I want you to spend most of your time in the lab teaching her how to use the equipment. She has not touched a microscope in ten years. Familiarize her with lab safety first. Then the dangers of astrophage.”
She stands up. Her voice is starting to shake with anger.
“And if you do your job right, Dr. Grace, we might have a 10% chance of teaching her enough to know what to do up there. Split the creation of the module between all of your departments. This is a collaborative effort now. Decide between heads on who is doing what, with the lab scientists taking charge.”
Nobody moves. Redell looks at her with wide eyes. Dr. Grace is very pale. She’s going to enjoy this next part very much.
“Dr. Grace, you are in charge from this moment until the launch. Congratulations. Somebody get me Carl.”
Dr. Grace startles and starts stammering, others tap him on the back reassuringly. You’ve got this. You’ve been doing it this whole time!
She wants to strangle them all. Nobody is wearing a tie, what a shame.
“Dismissed.”
The group jumps as one and starts shuffling out the door. She picks up the phone, sees that Dr. Grace has not moved.
“What is it, Dr. Grace? I don’t have time for you to cry about being in charge. We just significantly lowered our chances of success. Chances that were already low enough.”
He sputters but then straightens his spine. Good. She will hate him for the rest of her life. He should get used to it.
“I couldn’t do it, Eva. What you’re asking for is not fair.”
“Nothing about this is fair. None of the actions we committed were fair. We’re saving a planet, Dr. Grace, not planning a fucking bake sale.”
“She will do great! I can teach her and she can —.”
“But not as great as you could have been. I almost wish we didn’t launch—we have the same odds of survival, either way. With one, we save three lives but lose hope. On the other hand, we send three people to die unnecessarily but give people hope—that could buy us some time before nations start fighting each other.”
“Eva, please. Please, I’m not—this isn’t what I signed up for! I’m sorry, but I can’t be the man you want me to be.”
A hysterical laugh escapes her lips. It’s closer to a cackle. She sees him retreat in fear and it makes her laugh harder.
“Oh, Dr. Grace. You have no idea what I want. Close the door on your way out. Get me Carl.”
And she picks up the phone.