Chapter Text
3:17 a.m.
GOATjo has created a new group: My Favorite Students!!!!
GOATjo has added perpetuallyHAMMERED to the chat
GOATjo has added throat_goat to the chat
GOATjo has added m.fushiguro to the chat
GOATjo: 𝒽𝑒𝓁𝓁𝑜𝑜𝑜𝑜 𝓂𝓎 𝒹𝑒𝒶𝓇 𝓈𝓉𝓊𝒹𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓈!!!
m.fushiguro: Remove me from this now.
perpetuallyHAMMERED: fushiguro youre a huge bitch omfg but also sensei get me out of this fuck ass group chat
GOATjo: 𝓈𝑜 𝓂𝑒𝒶𝓃...!!! 𝓉𝒽𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓉𝒽 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓃𝑜 𝓇𝑒𝓈𝓅𝑒𝒸𝓉 𝒻𝑜𝓇 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝒾𝓇 𝑒𝓁𝒹𝑒𝓇𝓈 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓈𝑒 𝒹𝒶𝓎𝓈. 𝓈𝒾𝑔𝒽
perpetuallyHAMMERED: girl talking about respect while being named goatjo im ctfu
throat_goat: hiiiiiiiiiiiii!!!!!!!
m.fushiguro: Why are you named that.
throat_goat: kugisaki told me to!!!
perpetuallyHAMMERED: damn straight im the name factory
m.fushiguro: Then can the name factory explode.
perpetuallyHAMMERED: bitch i KNOW you stole that shit from tiktok comments omfg whats your acc
GOATjo: 𝑜𝒽!!! 𝐼 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓉𝒾𝓀𝓉𝑜𝓀. 𝐼 𝓅𝑜𝓈𝓉 𝓉𝒽𝑒𝓇𝑒 𝓆𝓊𝒾𝓉𝑒 𝒻𝓇𝑒𝓆𝓊𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓁𝓎 𝒶𝒸𝓉𝓊𝒶𝓁𝓁𝓎!
throat_goat: sensei i think smthing is wrong w ur font?? its like. swirly
GOATjo: 𝒶𝒽 𝓎𝓊𝓊𝒿𝒾 𝓉𝒽𝒾𝓈 𝒾𝓈 𝒿𝓊𝓈𝓉 𝓂𝓎 𝒶𝓊𝓇𝒶. 𝒾'𝓂 𝒶𝓃 𝒶𝓊𝓇𝒶 𝓂𝑜𝓃𝓈𝓉𝑒𝓇 𝒾𝓃 𝒻𝒶𝒸𝓉.
m.fushiguro: All of you shut the fuck up genuinely shut the fuck up.
throat_goat: :((((((( okayy,,,,,,srryy,,,,,,
m.fushiguro: Sorry, I was talking to the other two.
throat_goat: :DDD okay!!!
GOATjo: ( ˶°ㅁ°) !!
perpetuallyHAMMERED: GUYS I FOUND GOJOS TIKTOK HOLY SHITTTTT IM CTFUUUUUUUUUUUU SOMEBODY SAVE ME FJFDLSKAJ;DLFKJ;A
[perpetuallyHAMMERED: 1 attachment.]
[It's a link to a Tiktok video. In the video, Gojo is depicted lipsynching to 'Sorry' by Justin Bieber.]
perpetuallyHAMMERED: AND HES USING THE TOUCH UP FILTER TOO
GIRL
ARE WE SERIOUS
PUSHING 30 BTW
GOATjo: 𝒾'𝓁𝓁 𝒽𝒶𝓋𝑒 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓀𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒾'𝓂 𝒶 𝒞𝒜𝐿𝑀 𝓉𝓌𝑒𝓃𝓉𝓎 𝑒𝒾𝑔𝒽𝓉
throat_goat: yeah sensei isn't that old!!!! his receding hairline is only visible without the blindfold!!! >:(
[m.fushiguro took a screenshot of the chat.]
[perpetuallyHAMMERED took a screenshot of the chat.]
throat_goat: ????
whyd u guys do that
perpetuallyHAMMERED: you sweet summer child
throat_goat: i was born in spring ?
perpetuallyHAMMERED: oml i can really tell u was raised by ur grandfather
throat_goat: ok so he died like a week ago
perpetuallyHAMMERED: rip
throat_goat: boi
perpetuallyHAMMERED: dude
look me in the fucking eyes
and tell me you js unironically said boi
m.fushiguro: Itadori, I think you should stop using Reddit.
throat_goat: but r/dankmemes!!!!!!
i need my dankness
otherwise i lose my swag
perpetuallyHAMMERED: i'll skin you alive actually if you make another redditor comment
like deadass
yall got nothing on stantwt
m.fushiguro: Maybe read some books.
(🇮🇱 2)
m.fushiguro: What the fuck does Israel have to do with any of this.
perpetuallyHAMMERED: he dont get the ref
that one friend whos not woke enough
that one friend whos chronically offline
throat_goat: r/woooooosh
perpetuallyHAMMERED: STOP FUCKING USING REDDIT IM ACTUALLY BEGGING YOU
throat_goat: guys i js felt senseis cursed energy enter the dorm building!!!!!!! im gna go say hi
throat_goat: ....guys
you guys might want to come check this out....
[throat_goat: 1 attachment.]
[It's a grainy photo depicting a dorm hallway. About to turn the corner is Gojo, his back facing the camera. Atop his head is a bright purple fedora.]
perpetuallyHAMMERED: oh my god
m.fushiguro: Itadori, this is your fault.
throat_goat: HOW IS THSI MFY FUALTTT
GOATjo: 𝒻𝒾𝓃𝑒. 𝒾𝒻 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝒦𝐼𝒟𝒮 𝓌𝒶𝓃𝓉 𝓉𝑜 𝒸𝒶𝓁𝓁 𝓂𝑒 𝒷𝒶𝓁𝒹 𝒮𝒪𝒪𝒪𝒪 𝒷𝒶𝒹. 𝒯𝐻𝐸 𝐻𝒜𝒯 𝒮𝒯𝒜𝒴𝒮.
perpetuallyHAMMERED: yo i will deadass become a highschool dropout if that shit stays on ur head
m.fushiguro: For once, I agree with Kugisaki.
throat_goat: itz not that bad!!! guys...
sensei........ i tip my fedora to u!!!!
perpetuallyHAMMERED: yo MODS KILL THIS GUY 😭😭😭😭
spewing reddit shit on the tl
we need to have itadori drawn and quartered
m.fushiguro: For twice, I agree with Kugisaki.
perpetuallyHAMMERED: oh YEAH
up top
down low
m.fushiguro: I rescind my statement.
throat_goat has added K̷̠̉̊̑̓̽̈́͗̎̚͝Ì̶͕̜̘̘̩̣͚͂̀͂̚Ǹ̶̢̙̣̞͓̆̊̆̏̔̓͝͝G̷̡͈̩͔̬̝̥͖̰͂̽͋̊̀͊̽͋͐͑̈́̈́͝ ̷̻̬̞̜̟̝͉̦̜̲͍̯̫̓͊̎̔͘O̴̡͚͇̼͍͖̗͙̯̲̲͎̖̗̗̺̽͊̅ͅF̴̲̤̮̟͚̬̟̾̌̍ ̵͈̜͇̏̋ͅͅC̵̘͙̳̈́̓̃̄̽͐͝͠U̷̞̘̗̰̮̳̫͙̜̥̰̤̠͓͉̓̆̇̒̊Ŕ̵̤͉͉̾̃̋̿̒͗̊̎̎̈̀̈́͐̕͝S̴̛̠̪͎̻̭̒̓̅͑Ȩ̷̡͓̺̫̟͍̫͕̤͓̹̱̜̭̓͐̾̒̊͊̓̍̕͜Ŝ̴͇͎̗͍̝̳̝̤͔̦͓͙͕̲͈̽̾͊̉̀̑̿̈́̈́̋̀̕̕ to the chat
perpetuallyHAMMERED: um. ????
m.fushiguro: There is no way that is who I think it is.
K̷̠̉̊̑̓̽̈́͗̎̚͝Ì̶͕̜̘̘̩̣͚͂̀͂̚Ǹ̶̢̙̣̞͓̆̊̆̏̔̓͝͝G̷̡͈̩͔̬̝̥͖̰͂̽͋̊̀͊̽͋͐͑̈́̈́͝ ̷̻̬̞̜̟̝͉̦̜̲͍̯̫̓͊̎̔͘O̴̡͚͇̼͍͖̗͙̯̲̲͎̖̗̗̺̽͊̅ͅF̴̲̤̮̟͚̬̟̾̌̍ ̵͈̜͇̏̋ͅͅC̵̘͙̳̈́̓̃̄̽͐͝͠U̷̞̘̗̰̮̳̫͙̜̥̰̤̠͓͉̓̆̇̒̊Ŕ̵̤͉͉̾̃̋̿̒͗̊̎̎̈̀̈́͐̕͝S̴̛̠̪͎̻̭̒̓̅͑Ȩ̷̡͓̺̫̟͍̫͕̤͓̹̱̜̭̓͐̾̒̊͊̓̍̕͜Ŝ̴͇͎̗͍̝̳̝̤͔̦͓͙͕̲͈̽̾͊̉̀̑̿̈́̈́̋̀̕̕: You lowly beings never cease your pathetic drivel. The incessant 'dinging' has permeated my ears in such a way that I've considered moving up your day of reckoning.
throat_goat: aye big S be nice pls!!!
also sorry guys he wanted to be added to the gc
technically itz my old alt i js changed the name
so my finsta is now sukunas acc
idk how he got a phone tbh i js gave him the password
m.fushiguro: Kugisaki, about that drawing and quartering?
perpetuallyHAMMERED: yep
throat_goat: WHATHJHSLDKFJAKL
K̷̠̉̊̑̓̽̈́͗̎̚͝Ì̶͕̜̘̘̩̣͚͂̀͂̚Ǹ̶̢̙̣̞͓̆̊̆̏̔̓͝͝G̷̡͈̩͔̬̝̥͖̰͂̽͋̊̀͊̽͋͐͑̈́̈́͝ ̷̻̬̞̜̟̝͉̦̜̲͍̯̫̓͊̎̔͘O̴̡͚͇̼͍͖̗͙̯̲̲͎̖̗̗̺̽͊̅ͅF̴̲̤̮̟͚̬̟̾̌̍ ̵͈̜͇̏̋ͅͅC̵̘͙̳̈́̓̃̄̽͐͝͠U̷̞̘̗̰̮̳̫͙̜̥̰̤̠͓͉̓̆̇̒̊Ŕ̵̤͉͉̾̃̋̿̒͗̊̎̎̈̀̈́͐̕͝S̴̛̠̪͎̻̭̒̓̅͑Ȩ̷̡͓̺̫̟͍̫͕̤͓̹̱̜̭̓͐̾̒̊͊̓̍̕͜Ŝ̴͇͎̗͍̝̳̝̤͔̦͓͙͕̲͈̽̾͊̉̀̑̿̈́̈́̋̀̕̕: It seems even your own so-called companions have abandoned you. Cease control now and allow me to handle these pathetic excuses for sorcerers.
GOATjo: 𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝓃𝑜𝓌 𝒷𝒾𝑔 𝒮, 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒶 𝒸𝒽𝒾𝓁𝓁 𝓅𝒾𝓁𝓁!!! 𝓃𝑜 𝓃𝑒𝑒𝒹 𝟤 𝒷𝑒 𝓈𝑜 𝒽𝒶𝓈𝓉𝓎.... ദ്ദി(˵ •̀ ᴗ - ˵ ) ✧
K̷̠̉̊̑̓̽̈́͗̎̚͝Ì̶͕̜̘̘̩̣͚͂̀͂̚Ǹ̶̢̙̣̞͓̆̊̆̏̔̓͝͝G̷̡͈̩͔̬̝̥͖̰͂̽͋̊̀͊̽͋͐͑̈́̈́͝ ̷̻̬̞̜̟̝͉̦̜̲͍̯̫̓͊̎̔͘O̴̡͚͇̼͍͖̗͙̯̲̲͎̖̗̗̺̽͊̅ͅF̴̲̤̮̟͚̬̟̾̌̍ ̵͈̜͇̏̋ͅͅC̵̘͙̳̈́̓̃̄̽͐͝͠U̷̞̘̗̰̮̳̫͙̜̥̰̤̠͓͉̓̆̇̒̊Ŕ̵̤͉͉̾̃̋̿̒͗̊̎̎̈̀̈́͐̕͝S̴̛̠̪͎̻̭̒̓̅͑Ȩ̷̡͓̺̫̟͍̫͕̤͓̹̱̜̭̓͐̾̒̊͊̓̍̕͜Ŝ̴͇͎̗͍̝̳̝̤͔̦͓͙͕̲͈̽̾͊̉̀̑̿̈́̈́̋̀̕̕: Ah, the self-proclaimed 'Strongest'. Tell me, how does it feel to possess such vast power, yet still serve some unnamed superiors like a lapdog to their owner?
GOATjo: 𝓌𝒶𝒶𝒶𝓌 𝓈𝑜 𝓅𝑜𝑒𝓉𝒾𝒸.,,,,, 𝒹𝒾𝒹 𝓎𝑜𝓊 𝓉𝒶𝓀𝑒 𝒜𝒫 𝓁𝒾𝓉𝑒𝓇𝒶𝓉𝓊𝓇𝑒??
K̷̠̉̊̑̓̽̈́͗̎̚͝Ì̶͕̜̘̘̩̣͚͂̀͂̚Ǹ̶̢̙̣̞͓̆̊̆̏̔̓͝͝G̷̡͈̩͔̬̝̥͖̰͂̽͋̊̀͊̽͋͐͑̈́̈́͝ ̷̻̬̞̜̟̝͉̦̜̲͍̯̫̓͊̎̔͘O̴̡͚͇̼͍͖̗͙̯̲̲͎̖̗̗̺̽͊̅ͅF̴̲̤̮̟͚̬̟̾̌̍ ̵͈̜͇̏̋ͅͅC̵̘͙̳̈́̓̃̄̽͐͝͠U̷̞̘̗̰̮̳̫͙̜̥̰̤̠͓͉̓̆̇̒̊Ŕ̵̤͉͉̾̃̋̿̒͗̊̎̎̈̀̈́͐̕͝S̴̛̠̪͎̻̭̒̓̅͑Ȩ̷̡͓̺̫̟͍̫͕̤͓̹̱̜̭̓͐̾̒̊͊̓̍̕͜Ŝ̴͇͎̗͍̝̳̝̤͔̦͓͙͕̲͈̽̾͊̉̀̑̿̈́̈́̋̀̕̕: I eagerly await the day we have a clash of wills. But rest assured, I will emerge atop.
GOATjo: 𝓂𝓂𝓂
𝓃𝒶𝒽
𝒾'𝒹 𝓌𝒾𝓃