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Lucifer was going to lose his mind.
Working with Alastor has always been a mine field of tested patience and loss of self restraint. Which is all part of the sinner's machanations. Every time they have to work together, Alastor is sure to do something to make things way more difficult then they need to be for his own amusement.
And the worst part is, Lucifer can't even complain about it because, try as he might, these weird challenges end up being a lot of fun.
In retrospect, that is.
In present times, it was absolutely agonizing trying to keep his composure.
Once again, Lucifer found himself working alongside Alastor in the kitchen for some inane. Was Charlie the one setting them up for some team bonding exercises? Was Alastor deliberately seeking him out as a task partner just to mess with him? Was Lucifer unintentionally putting himself in these situations out of some sadomasochistic desire to torture himself and Alastor?
Trick question.
The answer is all of the above, and probably some other motives mixed in there for good measure.
The point is, Lucifer is stuck with Alastor again, thinking that he'll be butting heads with the stubborn buck over who takes charge in their trust exercise, only for things to not go according to plan.
Well, according to Lucifer's ill defined, not-at-all thought out plan.
For Alastor, everything was right as rain as he paraded around the kitchen with his freaking tail – that very floofy, very pettable tail – out on display to drive Lucifer insane.
It was the most bizarre turn of events Lucifer had ever seen.
Alastor, who is always dressed to the nines, who adamently hates his deer features, especially when someone (Lucifer) coos at how adorable they are, decided to show off his cute little tail with no warning whatsoever.
It was torture.
How the hell was Lucifer supposed to focus with all of that in full view?
Another trick question. He wasn't.
Lucifer kept fumbling at every step of the way. Dropping dishes, burning food, and tripping over his own two feet every time he passed by Alastor, unable to take his eyes of the tail.
He so desperately wanted to pet the floof.
Which is exactly what Alastor was expecting.
As soon as Lucifer gave in to temptation, reaching his hand out without thinking, Alastor head snapped around to stare Lucifer down with a bemused look in his eye.
If Lucifer didn't know any better, he'd say Alastor was waiting for this exact moment just to taunt him over the irony that the Devil – Temptation Incarnate – couldn't resist temptation. Which shouldn't be a surprise to anyone. It's literally his nature to endulge! And yet people continue to taunt and tease him over it everytime he loses the battle with self restraint.
It's why Lucifer instinctively tuned Alastor out when the teasing began.
He probably should be paying attention anyway, if only because he tends to act impulsively when his mind wanders.
Like focusing in on Alastor's mouth, and how to shut him up.
There was one particular way he could shut Alastor up. Which has become a distressingly common thought in Lucifer's head of late. Pretty much anytime they got in each other's face, the thought of dragging Alastor down into a passionate kiss flashed in his mind like an alarm system. Practically demanding he take action.
He never has, obviously, but it was getting harder to silence those thoughts.
And now they're standing face to, well, back, because Alastor still hasn't fully turned around like the creepy bastard he was.
Lucifer would be more freaked out about the head turn like that if he hadn't been living in Hell for thousands of years. He's seen way weirder shit than that, but good on Alastor for keeping up the effort to try and disturb the Devil.
All it did was give him a new mental image to enjoy. One of pulling Alastor into a kiss like this, and see how Alastor bends and twists at an awkward angle.
The mere thought of it was enough to jumpstart Lucifer's kiss addled brain to take action.
He reached up, grabbed hold of Alastor's face in both of his hands, and pulled him down into a kiss, forcing him to bend backwards to accommodate the difference their heights.
He was rewarded instantly with a startled bleat, and Alastor's hands flailing around trying to keep himself balanced as he was yanked backwards. His hands eventually finding purchase on the countertop behind Lucifer.
And what's better is that Alastor didn't pull away.
It would have been easy to do so. Lucifer wasn't holding on that hard, and yet Alastor stayed right where he was, and kissed him back.
Lucifer wasn't sure what he was expecting out of all of this. He hadn't even realized he did anything until their lips were pressed together, so, if anything, he was just as caught off guard as Alastor was. Having nothing to do but go with the flow, and deepen the kiss.
He would have been happy to stay in this moment forever, enjoying the small bits of intimacy he's been craving for years. Something he hadn't realized how much he missed until Alastor came into his life.
But then the tail caught his attention again.
The tip of that floofy tail brushed against his stomach, barely making contact with the odd angle Alastor was bent at, but it was enough to remind Lucifer of what started this all.
And what a perfect opportunity this was to finally pet it.
Without slowing down, Lucifer reached down, and ran his fingers through the fur of Alastor's tail, relishing in just how soft it was.
Alastor jolted, and tried to pull away, but Lucifer kept a firm grip on his head, holding him him in place as he continued to fondle Alastor's tail.
He was treated to the cutest noises he's ever heard from a sinner.
And still, Alastor didn't pull away.
That fact alone spurred Lucifer on, wanting to see how far he could take this.
Call Lucifer spiteful, but he was considering this as payback for all the times Alastor drove him up the wall with these little games he likes to instigate.
What game were they playing this time around? Hell if Lucifer knew. But whatever game it was, Lucifer was definitely winning this time.