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Idia was sprawled across Malleus's couch like a dying starfish.
One leg hung over the armrest, his hood was pulled low over his head, and his phone rested inches from his face as his thumb mindlessly scrolled through Magicam.
Cat video.
Advertisement.
Lilia Vanrouge somehow going viral again.
A meme about Professor Trein.
Someone had edited Azul into a green octopus with the caption 'Nature Octopus.'
"...He'd probably sue over that." Idia muttered to himself before scrolling again.
After some time he glanced over the edge of his phone to where Malleus was sitting on the bed.
"You're making that face again where you wanna tell me smth but you're too much of a coward."
"I am not a Coward." Malleus started pouting.
"Spit it out already."
"I was wondering... you know Lilia, who I see as a father."
"Yea, duh... He goes to the same school as us... isn't that hard not to know him."
"You are correct, my love. As I was saying..." Malleus smiled softly. "I was wondering if I could meet your parents."
Idia's thumb stopped moving.
His phone slowly slipped from his hand onto his chest. "No."
Malleus blinked. "...No?"
"No."
"My love..."
"Malleus." Idia finally sat up, staring at his boyfriend like he'd just suggested they wrestle an overblot for fun. "Do you have any idea who you're asking to meet?"
"Your parents."
"My parents are Hades and Persephone."
"I am aware."
"No, I don't think you are."
Malleus tilted his head. "You have spoken of them before."
"I have spoken about them because they're my parents." Idia threw his hands into the air. "You hear 'parents.' I hear 'the King and Queen of the Underworld.'"
"I fail to see the problem."
"Ofc you do!" Idia groaned dramatically and flopped backwards onto the couch, covering his face with both hands. "My dad literally judges the souls of the dead..."
"He does."
"My mom can make flowers bloom with a wave of her hand..."
"She can."
"They're immortal gods!"
"They are."
"They're your future in laws!"
"..."
"...Wait." Idia slowly lowered his hands.
"Nope. Strike that. Forget I said that last part."
A faint blush spread across Malleus's cheeks. "I did find it rather flattering."
"You weren't supposed to!"
Malleus chuckled. "I still wish to meet them."
Idia looked at him in disbelief. "...Why?"
"Because they are important to you."
"..."
"I would like to thank them for raising the man I love."
Idia's face immediately turned bright red. "...You're making it really difficult to tell you no."
"Is that not a good sign?"
"No! It means you're using emotional damage!"
Malleus's smile only widened. "So... may I?"
Idia sighed so heavily it sounded like his soul was trying to escape his body. "You have no idea what you're asking."
"I believe I do."
"No." Idia pointed at him. "You think this is 'meeting the parents.'"
"It is not?"
"It is meeting Hades."
"...Yes."
"And Persephone."
"Yes."
"And if my mother hears that her son is bringing his boyfriend over..." Idia shuddered. "...She's gonna invite the entire family."
Malleus smiled politely. "That sounds lovely."
Idia stared at him. "...You don't know who 'the entire family' is."
"I confess that I do not."
"...I'm trying to save your life here." Idia sighs and gives in. "...Fine."
Malleus blinked. "...Fine?"
Idia let out another exhausted sigh. "We'll go."
A small smile spread across Malleus's face. "Truly?"
"Don't make me change my mind."
"I would not dream of it."
"I'm serious."
"I know."
"...You're buying me a new game afterwards."
𓂃⋆★⋆𓂃
Three days later Idia stood in front of a massive pair of black iron gates, hands shoved deep into the pockets of his hoodie. "...I can still fake my death."
"You have suggested that four times since we left Night Raven College."
"Because it's becoming a more tempting option every minute."
Malleus looked up at the towering gates.
Intricate carvings of pomegranates, asphodel flowers and skeletal dragons covered the metal. Beyond them stretched a path of polished obsidian leading toward an enormous palace carved directly into dark stone.
Despite its intimidating appearance, countless flowers bloomed along the path, their vibrant colors standing in stark contrast to the surrounding darkness. "It is beautiful."
"Yeah..." Idia mumbled. "Mom insisted the Underworld needed more color."
"And your father approved?"
"He stopped arguing after the fifth garden."
Malleus smiled. "I look forward to meeting them."
"I don't."
"You say that despite them being your parents."
"Exactly because they're my parents." Idia rubbed his temples before pulling a small black crystal from his pocket. "...Here goes nothing." He tapped the crystal twice.
For a moment... Nothing happened.
Then the ground rumbled beneath their feet.
The enormous gates slowly began to open with a deep groan.
Warm golden light spilled out from the palace beyond.
Idia immediately frowned. "...That's weird."
"What is?"
"The lights."
"They seem rather welcoming."
"They're usually not on."
"...Is that unusual?"
"My dad likes keeping the place... Y'know..." Idia gestured vaguely. "...dramatic."
"So why are they illuminated?"
"I..." Idia's eyes slowly widened. "...Oh no."
"What is it?"
"My mom."
Malleus blinked. "What about Lady Persephone?"
"She turned on every light."
"...Which means..."
Idia's shoulders slumped. "...She got excited."
Malleus smiled warmly. "That sounds rather kind."
"You don't understand." Idia looked at him with the expression of someone watching a train wreck in slow motion. "When my mom gets excited..." He swallowed. "...things happen."
Before Malleus could ask what he meant, the front doors of the palace flew open.
"My darling!" Persephone's cheerful voice echoed all the way down the path. "There you are!"
Idia closed his eyes. "...I'm already regretting every decision that led to this."
Persephone hurried down the palace steps, her emerald dress flowing behind her like spring itself had come alive. She pulled Idia into a hug before he could protest. "My little Fire!"
"Moooom..."
"Oh, let me look at you!" She cupped his face in her hands before finally turning her attention to the tall fae prince standing patiently beside him. "And you must be Malleus." She smiled brightly. "It is a pleasure to finally meet the young man who has stolen my son's heart."
Idia made a noise that sounded suspiciously like a computer crashing. "Moooom!"
Persephone giggled behind her hand. "Oh, don't 'Mom' me. I've been waiting to meet you for months, Malleus."
Malleus offered her a respectful bow. "The honor is mine, Lady Persephone. Thank you for welcoming me into your home."
"Oh, such wonderful manners!" Persephone beamed. "Idia, where did you find him?"
"I didn't find him!"
"You certainly didn't grow him in one of my gardens."
"Moooom..."
She laughed before linking one arm with Idia's and the other with Malleus's. "Come along! Dinner is getting cold."
Idia froze. "...Dinner."
"Yes, dear."
"...Who's here?"
Persephone blinked innocently. "What do you mean?"
"Mom."
"Yes?"
"...Who's. Here."
She smiled. "Oh, just the family."
Idia felt every ounce of color drain from his face
"...Define 'the family.'"
"The family."
"...Mother."
Persephone tilted her head. "I don't understand the question."
"You invited someone, didn't you?"
"I may have."
"Mom."
"I only sent a few invitations."
"A few?"
"Well..." She tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Your uncles and aunts heard you were bringing your boyfriend."
Idia's eye twitched. "...Which uncles."
"Zeus said he wouldn't miss it for the world."
"Poseidon was curious."
"Mother said she wanted to 'make sure he deserves my grandson.'"
"Hestia insisted she help with dessert."
"Hermes arrived before the invitations were even delivered somehow."
"Athena wished to meet the brilliant inventor you've become."
"Ares came because Zeus came."
"Apollo wanted to hear how the two of you met."
"Artemis only came because Apollo came."
"Aphrodite said she simply had to witness young love."
"Hephaestus was interested in having a chat with the genius who built Ortho."
"And Hera said someone had to make sure Zeus behaved."
Silence.
Absolute silence.
Idia stared blankly ahead, his soul visibly leaving his body. "...Mom."
"Yes, sweetheart?"
"You invited..."
"Mm-hm?"
"...The Olympians."
Persephone smiled as though she'd just announced she'd baked an extra pie. "Well, not all of them."
"..."
"Dionysus couldn't make it."
Idia slowly turned toward Malleus. "I warned you."
Malleus, to his credit, remained perfectly composed. "I must admit..." He looked toward the brightly lit palace with genuine curiosity. "...I did not anticipate such a large gathering."
Idia let out a hollow laugh. "Congrats."
"Hm?"
"You've unlocked the secret boss fight."
𓂃⋆★⋆𓂃
The doors to the dining hall swung open. Every conversation stopped. Every head turned.
Zeus was the first to stand. "So!" he boomed, loud enough to shake the glasses on the table. "That's the dragon!"
Idia physically flinched. "...Hi, Uncle Zeus."
"There you are!" Zeus spread his arms. "You've been dating this boy for months and this is the first time you bring him around?"
"was trying to avoid exactly this."
"Nonsense!" Zeus laughed. "Family should meet the boyfriend!"
"You're proving my point."
Zeus completely ignored him and walked straight over to Malleus. "So you're Malleus Draconia!"
"I am."
"Hah! Bigger than I expected!"
"Thank you... I believe."
Zeus grabbed Malleus's shoulder and gave it an approving squeeze. "Strong!"
"Father," Persephone warned.
"What?"
"Indoor voice."
"I am using my indoor voice!"
Hera sighed. "No. You're using your 'I want the entire mountain to hear me' voice."
Zeus waved dismissively. "Same thing."
"It is not."
He looked Malleus up and down. "So."
"..."
"You planning on marrying my nephew?"
Idia choked. "WUT?!"
"What?" Zeus shrugged. "I'm asking the important questions."
"We've been dating for a few months!"
"So?"
"So?!" Idia repeated. "We're in school!"
"And?"
"And I'm trying to survive midterms before I think about marriage!"
Zeus frowned. "Seems like poor planning."
Hera closed her eyes. "I am surrounded by idiots."
"I heard that."
"It was intended."
Zeus turned back to Malleus.
"Can you fight?"
"Yes."
"Excellent."
"Can you cook?"
"I can."
"Excellent."
"Can you make my nephew eat when he's locked in his room coding for three days?"
Malleus nodded once. "I already do."
The room fell quiet.
Demeter smiled softly.
Persephone looked suspiciously emotional.
Hades raised his eyes from his wine. "...Good."
Idia immediately buried his face in his hands. "Please stop earning approval points."
"I was merely answering honestly."
"I know!"
Zeus slapped the table. "I like him!"
"Nobody asked!" Idia shot back.
"I did."
"No, you didn't!"
"I did just now."
"You can't retroactively ask a question!"
"I am Zeus."
"That is not a valid argument!"
"It has worked for several thousand years."
"It shouldn't!"
Hera took a slow sip of her wine. "I have been telling him that for several thousand years."
Hermes leaned toward Apollo. "Five drachma Idia snaps before dessert."
Apollo glanced toward the increasingly frazzled son of Hades. "I'll make it three minutes."
"I can hear you!"
"We know," Hermes replied cheerfully. "You're being very loud."
Idia looked around the table in disbelief. "I'm the loud one?!"
"No," Hestia said gently. "But you're certainly the funniest one tonight."
Idia groaned. "I'm never bringing another boyfriend home."
Malleus smiled. "I was unaware there would be another."
"...You're lucky I love you"
Malleus tilted his head. "...May I ask a question?"
Idia sighed. "Sure. What's one more?"
"You mentioned on our journey here that Lord Hades' siblings would be present."
"Yeah?"
Malleus glanced around the table. "Lord Zeus."
"Mm-hm."
"Lord Poseidon."
"Yep."
"Lady Hestia."
"Yep."
"Lady Demeter."
"Also yep."
"...Lady Demeter is also Lady Persephone's mother."
Idia slowly closed his eyes. "...Yeah."
"...And Lord Zeus..."
"...Is also my mom's dad."
Malleus blinked.
"...Then Lord Hades married his niece."
"...He did."
"And Lord Zeus is married to Lady Hera."
"He is."
"...Who is also his sister."
"Yep."
Malleus stared into space for several long seconds. "I believe I have become confused."
"Only now?"
Hermes burst out laughing. "Oh, I like him."
Athena, who had somehow produced a notebook, looked up. "The family tree is more accurately described as a family graph."
"It's a circle," Idia muttered.
"It's technically a directed cyclic graph," Athena corrected.
"It has loops," Hephaestus added.
"It has problems," Hera said flatly.
Zeus waved a dismissive hand. "Oh, everyone always makes such a big deal about it."
"Because it is a big deal," Hera replied.
Poseidon took another sip of his drink. "I stopped trying to explain it centuries ago."
Demeter sighed. "Family reunions become much easier when you stop asking who's related to whom."
Idia pointed at Demeter. "See? Grandma gets it."
Demeter smiled. "I baked you your favorite pie."
"...Grandma, I love you."
"I know, dear."
𓂃⋆★⋆𓂃
As everyone sat down Apollo suddenly clapped his hands. "Oh!"
Everyone looked at him.
"We never asked the important question."
Idia narrowed his eyes. "I'm afraid."
Apollo pointed dramatically between Idia and Malleus. "Who confessed first?"
Idia froze. "Next question."
"Oh, absolutely not," Aphrodite smiled. "Now I need to know."
Hermes grinned. "I've got twenty drachma on Malleus."
"I'll take that bet," Ares said. "Apollo?"
"Idia."
Athena looked up from her notebook. "Statistically speaking, Malleus was the more likely candidate."
Persephone smiled into her drink. "I know the answer."
Idia's head snapped toward her. "Mom."
"What?"
"Don't."
She giggled.
Zeus pointed his fork at Malleus. "Well?"
Malleus looked around the table before his gaze settled on Idia. Idia was very subtly shaking his head. Malleus understood immediately. "I believe," he said calmly, "that is a private matter between Idia and myself."
The table went quiet.
Hermes blinked. "...Seriously?"
Malleus nodded. "It was a very important moment for us." He smiled softly. "I would rather keep it between the two of us."
Persephone's expression immediately softened. "...That's actually very sweet."
Hestia smiled warmly. "I think so too."
Demeter nodded in agreement. "Some memories deserve to stay with the people who made them."
Apollo slumped dramatically in his chair. "My gossip..."
Aphrodite sighed. "Ruined."
Hermes looked personally offended. "You can't just be emotionally mature."
"I can."
"It makes it impossible to tease you."
"I do not mind."
Idia slowly let out the breath he'd been holding. "...Thanks."
Malleus looked at him. "There was never another answer I would have given."
For a brief moment The dining hall fell completely silent and Idia's cheeks turned pink.
"...You're doing the emotional damage thing again."
"I am merely speaking honestly."
"...Yeah, well..." Idia looked away, trying very hard not to smile. "...Stop making me look like the lucky one."
Malleus's smile only softened. "But you are."
Hermes quietly looked at Apollo. "I hate how adorable they are."
Apollo nodded solemnly. "It's actually making me ill."
"You'll survive," Artemis replied.
"I don't want to."
"You're going to."
Zeus looked around the table. "So..."
Everyone immediately looked at him with suspicion.
"...What?"
"I was just going to ask who t-"
"NO."
"I DIDN'T EVEN FINISH THE QUESTION!"
𓂃⋆★⋆𓂃
By the end of dinner... The table looked like a battlefield. Empty plates, Half finished glasses, Crumbs everywhere.
Somehow...A chair was missing. Idia didn't even want to know.
"Well!" Zeus announced, standing up. "This was fun!"
"You broke the chair," Hera replied.
"It was a weak chair."
"You sat on it."
"It should've been stronger."
Hephaestus sighed. "I built that chair."
"It was a lovely chair."
"It was."
Zeus clapped Malleus on the back hard enough to make even the fae prince take half a step forward. "Come back anytime!"
Idia immediately pointed at him. "He will not."
"He absolutely will."
"He absolutely won't."
Zeus looked at Persephone. "Can I ignore him?"
"You usually do."
"I do."
"I noticed."
Hermes was already stuffing leftover pastries into a small satchel. "No one saw that."
"I did," Hestia replied.
"Can I keep them?"
"Of course."
"You're the best."
"I know."
Demeter walked over to Malleus carrying three containers. "These are for you."
Malleus accepted them politely. "...Lady Demeter?"
"You'll get hungry on the journey home."
"I do not believe I shall require this much food."
"Nonsense." She handed him another container. "And this one is for later."
"...Thank you?"
Idia looked at the stack. "Grandma."
"Yes?"
"You packed enough food to survive a famine."
"I know."
Poseidon finished the last of his drink before standing. "If you ever wish to visit the ocean, let me know."
"I appreciate the offer."
"We can race. Underwater."
Idia sighed. "He's serious."
"I am," Poseidon confirmed before walking out.
Aphrodite stood, smoothing out her dress. "They're adorable."
"Mhm" Artemis agreed.
"I hate agreeing with you."
"I know."
One by one The dining hall emptied.
Hestia hugged Persephone goodbye.
Demeter kissed Idia on the forehead despite his protests.
Hermes somehow stole another pastry.
Athena collected the notebook Hermes had "borrowed."
Ares reminded Malleus that his sparring invitation remained open.
Zeus loudly declared he'd "won dinner."
"You didn't compete," Hera deadpanned.
"I competed spiritually."
Eventually... The massive doors closed.
Silence settled over the hall.
Only four people remained. Hades, Persephone, Idia and Malleus.
Idia let out the longest sigh of the evening. "Finally over."
Persephone laughed softly. "You say that every family gathering."
"Because every family gathering is like surviving a boss raid."
"I thought it went rather well."
"Mom, Uncle Zeus asked Malleus if we were getting married before he'd even sat down."
"He gets excited."
"He needs therapy."
Hades took another sip from his goblet. "He needs consequences."
Persephone nodded. "I've been saying that for centuries."
Idia looked at his father. "...So."
"So?"
"...What'd you think?"
Hades didn't answer immediately. Instead, he looked directly at Malleus. The room suddenly felt very quiet. "You are not afraid of me."
It wasn't a question.
Malleus met his gaze. "No."
"Why?"
"You are Idia's father. I have never known Idia to fear you."
Hades remained silent.
"So I have no reason to."
For several seconds...,Nothing happened.
Then Hades looked toward Idia. "...He observes."
Idia blinked. "Huh?"
"He pays attention."
Malleus tilted his head. "I simply notice what is important."
Another long pause. Hades gave a single nod.
"...Good."
Persephone smiled knowingly. "I think that's the closest you'll get to a compliment from him."
"It is," Hades agreed.
"...Dad."
"Yes?"
"You couldn't have made that less intimidating?"
"I could have but I chose not to."
Idia groaned. "There it is."
Malleus, however, simply smiled. "I understood what you meant."
Hades looked at him for a moment before the corner of his mouth lifted... just barely. "Good."
Persephone covered a laugh behind her hand.
"I do believe he likes you."
"I gathered as much."
"I didn't," Idia muttered.
"You rarely do," Hades replied.
"...Low blow."
Persephone laughed. "I've missed having you home."
Idia looked around the now quiet dining hall. "...Yeah I missed home too." The confession hung in the air for a moment.
Naturally Persephone immediately stood up and hugged him.
"Moooom."
"Oh, hush."
"I'm an adult."
"And?"
"...Fair point."
"Visit again soon."
"I literally just got here."
"And now you're leaving."
"Yeah that's how visiting works."
She laughed before turning to Malleus. "And you."
"Yes, Lady Persephone?"
"Our home is always open to you."
𓂃⋆★⋆𓂃
Malleus smiled.
"I believe they have accepted me."
"They've done worse."
"Worse?"
"They like you."
"Is that worse?"
Idia pointed toward the palace. "It means you'll never escape."
"I do not particularly wish to."
Idia looked at him. "You're impossible."
"So I've been told." They stepped through the gates together. Behind them, the great black doors slowly closed with a deep rumble.
For a while... Neither of them spoke. The silence was comfortable.
Then
"My love?"
"Yeah?"
"I forgot to ask one thing."
Idia immediately looked suspicious. "What?"
Malleus smiled, just a little.."When is the next family dinner?"
Idia stopped walking. "...You're kidding."
"I am not."
Idia stared at him for a long moment before letting out a laugh. A real one.
The kind that escaped before he could stop it.
"Seven..."
He reached over and laced their fingers together. "You're such a weirdo."
Malleus gently squeezed his hand. "So I've been told."
Idia smiled despite himself.
"Yeah, Good thing you're my weirdo."
Together, they disappeared down the obsidian path.
"Definitely not coming back for at least a
month."
Malleus hummed thoughtfully. "I believe Lady Persephone said next weekend."
"...I'm breaking up with you."
"You have said that three times today. And yet you're still holding my hand."
"I intend to continue doing so." Idia's fingers intertwined with Malleus's just a little tighter.
"But you're buying me two new games this time."
"I believe that is a fair compromise."
Their laughter echoed down the path as the gates of the Underworld closed behind them.