Work Text:
Agott had always believed exhaustion was a weakness one could simply outwork.
If her wrist ached, she adjusted her grip. If her eyes burned, she moved the lamp closer. If the lines of a sigil began to swim across the page, she washed her face with cold water and started again.
There was always another curve that could be cleaner, another rune that could be more precise, another spell that might finally prove she deserved the name she carried.
So, while the atelier slept, Agott worked.
Night after night, the soft scratch of her pen continued long after the other girls had gone to bed. She sat hunched at her desk with her dark hair falling over one ear, her eyes fixed upon pages crowded with repeated sigils. Some were crossed out so violently that the nib had torn through the paper.
A lamp burned beside her until the flame dwindled to a trembling blue point.
On the first night, Coco stirred and sleepily asked if Agott was coming to bed.
“Soon,” Agott answered.
On the second, Tetia left a cup of water beside her elbow.
Agott did not notice it until morning.
By the third night, even Richeh had begun watching her with a quiet, troubled expression.
Brushbuddy noticed too.
The little white creature would creep into the room after everyone had fallen asleep, his round body nearly disappearing beneath the edge of Agotts chair. He would sit beside her said chair and stare up at her with dark, shining eyes.
Agott ignored him at first.
Then he began nudging her ankle.
“Stop that,” she whispered.
Brushbuddy nudged her again. “I am working.”
He placed both tiny paws against her boot and leaned his whole weight into it.
Agott’s pen slipped, dragging a dark streak through the centre of her sigil.
Her breath caught.
For one terrible moment, she stared at the ruined page.
Then she tore it from the desk, crushed it in her fist and threw it aside.
Brushbuddy flinched.
Agott closed her eyes.
The anger disappeared as quickly as it had come, leaving only a hollow ache behind.
“I’m sorry,” she murmured.
Brushbuddy cautiously approached again. He stood and pressed his head against her shin, soft and warm.
Agott rested her hand upon him for only a second.
Then she returned to her work.
By the time morning light reached the windows, she had not slept at all.
At breakfast, Coco was talking excitedly about the day’s lesson.
“Master Qifrey said we’re going outside,” she said, her blue eyes bright. “He wants us to practise wind-based sigils where there’s more space.”
Tetia clasped her hands. “Maybe we’ll make flower petals fly!”
“Or clouds of glitter!” Coco added.
Richeh calmly buttered a slice of bread. “Wind would scatter glitter everywhere.”
“That’s what makes it fun," Tetia exclaimed.
Agott sat at the end of the table, staring at a bowl she had not touched.
The smell of food turned her stomach. Even lifting her spoon seemed to require more energy than she possessed.
Olruggio stood at the stove with his back to them, but Agott knew his attention had shifted towards her. He had an inconvenient way of noticing things while pretending not to.
“You planning on eating that?” he asked.
“I’m not hungry.”
“That wasn’t the question.” Agott’s fingers tightened around the spoon.
Olruggio glanced over his shoulder. His stern expression softened slightly when he saw the shadows beneath her eyes.
“Eat a little, kid.”
“I said I’m not hungry.” The words came out sharper than she intended.
The room fell quiet.
Coco looked down at her plate.
Agott hated herself for that.
Olruggio did not react with anger. He merely set down the wooden spoon he had been using and crossed the kitchen. He crouched beside her chair, bringing himself closer to her level.
“Hey,” he said quietly. “No one’s fighting you.”
Agott looked away.
“I know.”
“Do you though?” His voice was gentler than usual, which somehow made the tightness in her chest worse.
Before Agott could answer, Qifrey entered the room with his hat tucked beneath one arm and his light hair still slightly disordered from sleep.
“Good morning, my little apprentices.”
Tetia immediately brightened. “Good morning Master Qifrey!”
He smiled at them, but the smile faltered when his gaze reached Agott.
“Good morning, Agott.” She gave a stiff nod.
Qifrey tilted his head. “Did you sleep well?”
“Yes.”
Olruggio made a low sound of disbelief.
Agott glared at him.
Qifrey’s visible eye narrowed with concern, though his voice remained light.
“Agott, my dear child, you know you don’t have to lie to me.”
Her face heated.
“I’m fine.”
“Now, you’ve said that three times this week.”
“Because I am.”
Qifrey rested one hand on the back of her chair. “Then come outside with us today.”
Agott blinked. She had intended to remain behind and continue working.
“I have sigils to finish.”
“They will still be there later.”
“You don’t know that.”
The answer made little sense, but her tired mind could not repair it quickly enough.
Qifrey’s expression changed.
He lowered his voice.
“Sweet girl, ink and paper are not going to run away from you.”
Agott stared at the table.
“I’m falling behind.”
“No, you aren’t.”
“You don’t have to pretend.”
“I never pretend about my students.”
His hand moved from the chair to her shoulder, warm and steady.
“You are coming to the lesson,” he said. “Not because you must prove anything. Because I would like you there.”
Agott swallowed.
Olruggio rose from his crouch and placed a piece of bread beside her bowl.
“And you’re eating half of that first.” Agott looked between them.
They were both watching her with the same unbearable concern.
“Stop fussing,” she muttered.
“Can’t,” Olruggio replied. “You’re one of ours.”
Something inside Agott twisted painfully.
She picked up the bread and began to eat.
The field beyond the atelier was bright with sunlight.
The sky was cloudless, and a warm breeze moved through the long grass, carrying the scent of earth and distant flowers. Qifrey had chosen a gentle hill for the lesson, giving the girls plenty of room to practise without accidentally blowing anything into the workshop windows.
Coco and Tetia knelt together over a sheet of parchment while Richeh worked several paces away, already absorbed in her own design.
Agott remained slightly apart from the others.
Brushbuddy followed Coco at first, bounding through the grass in uneven hops. Then he seemed to remember something and changed direction.
He hurried towards Agott.
She looked down as he settled beside her boot.
“Go back to Coco.”
Brushbuddy huffed and stayed where he was.
Agott sighed.
Her head had been aching since breakfast. The sunlight felt too bright, pressing sharply behind her eyes. Every time she looked down at her parchment, the black lines seemed to blur.
She blinked hard.
The sigil required a precise sequence of curved channels to guide the air. It was not particularly advanced.
Agott had drawn far more complicated spells.
Yet her hand still trembled.
She paused and tightened her grip on the pen.
Across the field, Qifrey demonstrated the movement the spell should create. A ring of wind rose around him, stirring his cloak and sending loose strands of blond hair across his face.
“The important thing is not strength,” he explained. “Wind is already strong. Your task is to give it direction.”
Coco’s first attempt produced a sudden gust that snatched Qifrey’s hat from the grass.
Tetia laughed as it tumbled away.
“Oh!”
Coco leapt up. “I’m sorry!”
Qifrey laughed too. “Well, it certainly moved in a direction.”
Even Agott nearly smiled. Nearly.
She looked back at her parchment.
The circle was wrong.
One side curved too sharply.
Her heart began to beat faster.
She rubbed it out and tried again.
Wrong.
Again.
Still wrong.
The sound of the others faded until all she could hear was the scratch of her pen and the pounding of blood in her ears.
Her fingers felt strangely numb.
Brushbuddy gave a soft chirp beside her.
“I know,” Agott whispered.
She drew another line.
The world tilted.
Agott placed one hand against the ground.
The grass beneath her palm felt cool, but her face was burning.
She inhaled slowly.
It did not help.
“Agott?” Coco’s voice sounded distant.
Agott forced herself upright.
“I’m fine.”
She heard Olruggio’s voice in her mind.
'You’ve said that three times this week.'
Agott attempted to stand.
The moment she straightened, the field lurched sideways.
Her vision darkened at the edges.
She barely had time to realise she was falling.
Brushbuddy shrieked.
The little creature sprang forward as Agott’s knees buckled, pressing frantically against her leg as though his tiny body could hold her upright.
It could not.
Agott knees collapsed into the grass.
“Agott!” Coco’s cry cut across the field.
Qifrey was beside her almost immediately and managed to stop her head striking the grass.
One moment he had been several paces away; the next his knees struck the earth beside her, his hands laying her down and carefully turning her onto her back.
“Agott? Sweetheart, open your eyes.”
Her lashes fluttered, but she did not respond.
The colour had drained from her face.
Qifrey pressed two fingers against her neck, searching for her pulse. His hand trembled only slightly.
“Olly!”
“I’m here.”
Olruggio came running from the workshop path, his dark hair shifting in the breeze. He had been carrying a box of materials, but it lay abandoned somewhere behind him.
He dropped beside Qifrey.
“What happened?”
“She collapsed.”
“Did she hit her head?”
“No. I caught her shoulder before she struck the ground.”
Olruggio placed the back of his fingers against Agott’s cheek.
“She’s way to warm.”
“She’s also exhausted,” Qifrey said.
There was a sharp edge beneath his calm voice.
Brushbuddy pushed between them, making distressed little sounds. He planted his front paws against Agott’s arm and pawed at her sleeve.
Coco knelt nearby, pale and frightened.
“Is she all right?”
“She’s breathing,” Qifrey assured her. “Coco, my dear, bring me the water flask. Richeh find something she can put on her face for cover against the sun and Tetia, go to the atelier and bring a cool cloth for temperature please.”
The girls scattered at once.
Olruggio slipped one arm beneath Agott’s shoulders and raised her slightly.
Her head lolled against his chest.
His stern expression cracked.
“Oh, little star,” he muttered. “What have you done to yourself?”
Qifrey looked at him. Olruggio rarely used such soft terms aloud.
Agott stirred faintly.
Her brow furrowed.
“No,” she whispered.
Qifrey leaned closer.
“Agott?”
“I have to finish…”
“No,” Qifrey said firmly. “You don’t.”
Her eyes opened a sliver.
They were unfocused.
“Master… Qifrey?”
“I’m right here.”
Agott tried to move, but Olruggio held her securely.
“Easy,” he murmured. “Stay still, kiddo.” Her eyes widened slightly at the word, clearly still not used to the affection of those around her.
Olruggio looked almost embarrassed like his reputation was on the line or something but he did not take it back.
Coco returned with the flask. Qifrey thanked Coco and lifted Agotts head slightly so she could drink from the flask.
“Small sips.”
Agott obeyed weakly.
Her eyes closed again.
Qifrey brushed a strand of hair away from her face.
“When did you last sleep properly?” he asked.
Agott did not answer. “Agott."
“Two nights ago.”
Olruggio frowned.
“Try again.”
Her mouth tightened.
“Four.” Coco gasped.
Qifrey went very still.
“Four nights?”
“I slept a little.”
“At your desk?” Olruggio asked.
Agott turned her face away.
That was answer enough.
Olruggio exhaled slowly through his nose. His frustration was clear, but his hand remained gentle where it supported her shoulder.
“You stubborn little thing.”
“I had work.”
“No, you had a bed.”
“I needed to improve.”
Qifrey’s face tightened.
“Oh, my darling student.”
Agott flinched as though the endearment hurt.
“I’m not—”
“Not what?”
“Not good enough for you to call me that.”
Silence fell across the field.
Even the breeze seemed to quiet.
Qifrey looked stricken.
Olruggio’s grip tightened protectively around her.
“Agott,” Qifrey said, his voice barely above a whisper, “do you truly believe affection is something you must earn?”
She said nothing.
Her eyes filled despite her attempt to stop them.
Qifrey bent down closer until he knew he was fully in her view, Agott being unable to look away from the truth he was about to spill.
“My dear girl, even if you could never draw another perfect sigil in your life, you would still be precious to those around you.”
Agott’s breath shook.
“You say that now.”
“I will say it tomorrow. And the day after. I’ll say it every day until it finally finds its way through that remarkably thick skull of yours.”
A tear slipped from the corner of Agott’s eye.
She looked furious about it.
Olruggio wiped it away with his thumb.
“No shame in tears, kiddo.”
“Don’t call me that,” she whispered.
Olruggio’s mouth softened.
“Why not?”
“It’s silly.”
“You like silly things more than you admit.”
“I do not.”
Brushbuddy clambered onto Agott’s stomach and curled into a small ball.
Agott stared down at him.
His tiny body rose and fell rapidly with frightened breaths.
“He was scared,” Coco said quietly. “He tried to catch you.”
Agott’s expression crumpled. “I’m sorry.”
Brushbuddy lifted his head and pressed his face against her hand.
Qifrey watched them for a moment before sliding one arm beneath Agott’s knees.
She realised what he intended and immediately tensed.
“I can walk.”
“No, you cannot.”
“I can.”
“You fainted.”
“I’m awake now.”
“And still pale as parchment,” Olruggio said.
Qifrey lifted her carefully.
Agott gave a startled sound and grabbed the front of his cloak.
“Master Qifrey!”
“There we are.”
“This is unnecessary.”
“It is extremely necessary.”
“I’m too old to be carried.”
“You are never too old to be looked after.”
Olruggio rose beside them and placed a steadying hand against Agott’s back.
“Besides,” he said, “he carries Coco when she falls asleep over her books.”
Coco flushed.
“Master Olruggio!”
“And Tetia once fell asleep in a basket.”
“That was one time!”
Tetia and Richeh arrived at the same time. Richeh folded the cloth she had brought for shade and placed it over Agotts eyes. Whole Tetia placed a cool cloth on her forehead.
“It was twice," Tetia replied
For the first time that morning, a weak laugh escaped Agott.
It was small, almost soundless, but Qifrey heard it.
His smile brightened.
“There she is.”
Agott quickly hid her face against his shoulder despite the numerous cloths.
“Don’t.”
“My sweet little apprentice Agott.”
“Stop.”
“My brilliant, impossible, stubborn little moonbeam.”
“That one is worse.”
Olruggio walked beside them, one hand remaining on her shoulder.
“I thought little moonbeam was good.”
“It was not.”
“I’ll keep using it, then.”
Agott groaned. Qifrey gave a loud chuckle at her response and ceases his torment for now.
The sound was weary but no longer empty.
Back at the atelier, Qifrey settled her into his own bed while Olruggio opened the curtains just enough to let in fresh air without flooding the room with sunlight.
With the cloths no longer covering her eyes or forehead, Agott protested the effort until Olruggio gave her a look that silenced her.
“You are staying there,” he said. “No writing. No reading. No sneaking out.” He walks out the room.
“I don’t sneak.”
“You absolutely sneak," Olly shouts back his voice disappearing into the hall way.
Qifrey tucked a blanket around her. Agott stared at him.
“You’re both being ridiculous.”
“Yes,” Qifrey replied. “How dare we care for our apprentices.” Her face warmed.
Olruggio returned with a cup of water and set it on the bedside table.
“Aye you’d better get used to it, kiddo.”
Agott pulled the blanket up to her nose.
Brushbuddy wriggled beneath the edge and curled against her side.
Coco, Tetia and Richeh stood together in the doorway.
“We can stay with you,” Coco offered.
“I don’t need everyone watching me sleep.”
“We don’t have to watch,” Tetia said. “We could sit nearby.”
Richeh nodded. “Quietly.”
Agott looked at their anxious faces.
Something in her chest softened.
“All right,” she whispered.
The girls settled around the room with books and small projects. Coco sat cross-legged near the bed while Brushbuddy remained pressed against Agott’s ribs, apparently determined to make certain she did not disappear again.
Qifrey sat on the edge of the mattress.
His fingers brushed gently through Agott’s hair.
She wasnt going to admit it but being comforted like this felt nice plus she was too tired to complain.
“You frightened me today,” he admitted.
Agott’s eyes lowered. “I didn’t mean to.”
“I know.”
“I thought I could manage.”
“You don’t always have to manage alone, my child.”
Olruggio leaned against the bedpost with his arms folded.
“You’ve got an entire atelier full of people willing to help carry things.”
Agott’s eyelids began to droop.
“What if I’m too heavy?”
The words were so quiet they nearly missed them.
Qifrey’s hand stilled.
Olruggio straightened.
"Then we carry those things for you instead” he said.
Agott looked up.
Olruggio’s expression was serious, but his eyes were warm. “No matter how heavy it gets,” he continued. “Do you understand, little star?”
Agott swallowed.
She gave the smallest nod.
Qifrey slowly combed his hand through her hair one more time before rising.
“Rest, darling girl.”
Agott’s eyes closed.
The room remained softly alive around her, the rustle of Coco turning a page, Tetia’s muffled whisper, Richeh’s steady pen strokes, and the quiet breathing of Brushbuddy against her side.
For once, Agott did not think about unfinished sigils.
She did not count the hours she was losing or the mistakes waiting on her desk.
She listened instead to Qifrey humming beneath his breath and Olruggio quietly complaining that the blanket was crooked before fixing it for the third time.
Surrounded by warmth, Agott finally allowed herself to believe that perhaps she did not have to earn her place every night.
Perhaps she already belonged.
And with Brushbuddy tucked beneath her hand and her teachers keeping watch nearby, Agott slept.