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As do most of Satoru’s great ideas, it starts with a passing thought. Has Suguru ever kissed anyone?
He’s never talked about that kind of stuff to Satoru, so it’s probably safe to assume he hasn’t. They really do talk to each other about everything, so. But then he keeps thinking. What if he has and just doesn’t feel comfortable talking about it? What if he has done all kinds of stuff and didn’t want Satoru to feel left behind? What if he is left behind? No, that would be stupid. If Suguru had kissed someone, he’s sure he’d tell him. Even rub it in his face, maybe. Probably.
Still, the thought lingers.
It infiltrates his mind at moments he’s not supposed to be thinking about it. Like, he’ll be in class while his brain is just Suguru Suguru Suguru kiss kiss kiss. So yeah, it becomes a little bit of a problem when he can’t focus anymore.
Then it gets him thinking. Satoru hasn't kissed anyone. What if he gets there and, like, messes up? He wouldn't want the girl to think he's a bad kisser just cause he has no experience.
They're kinda past the age when people normally have their first kisses. Because, well. Satoru never really felt the need to spend time with anyone else when he had Suguru. And why would he? Suguru is the best friend he could have.
So, an idea pops into his mind.
They’re lazing around in Suguru’s bed after a mission when he decides to ask it.
“You've never kissed anyone, right?”
Suguru has his head on the headboard, one leg stretched and the other pulled to him, knee bent. He looks up from his phone, a skeptical look on his face.
He doesn’t know why the interval before Suguru answers makes him so nervous. Why he dreads the fact that Suguru might say ‘I have’ and why that idea upsets him so much. It feels like something tightens in his chest at the thought, takes all the air from his lungs.
Suguru looks a little taken aback, which, yeah, Satoru did just drop that in with no preamble, but that’s just how he normally does it. Then he lightly shakes his head. “I haven’t.”
The relief that flows through Satoru has him feeling a little odd. Strangely nervous.
“So, um. What if we practiced?”
Okay, he got it out.
“Huh?”
“Yeah. Like, practice kissing.”
Suguru shuffles a little in bed, and Satoru’s eyes are instinctively drawn to where his shirt has ridden up. He averts his gaze before Suguru catches him. “I just—why?”
“Because,” he drags out the word, “we can’t fuck up when it’s time for the real thing.”
Suguru squints.
“The real thing?”
“Girls.”
The word feels off somehow. As soon as it’s out of his mouth, he feels like there’s something he’s missing, but whatever. All Satoru cares about right now is convincing Suguru that this is a great idea and totally necessary. He knows he’s not quite there when he sees the glint in Suguru’s eyes.
“So you’re saying you think you’d be bad at it?” He smirks.
“No,” Satoru counters immediately, “of course not.” He scrambles for an answer. “I’m actually doing you a favor.”
“Uh huh.” Suguru is staring now, and it’s making him a little squirmish.
“I am!”
After what feels like an eternity, Suguru sighs. “Okay, fine. Let’s do it.”
“Great!”
Now that Suguru agreed, Satoru realizes he didn’t actually think this far into the plan. Are they supposed to do this sitting? They’re already on the bed, so it would be awkward to stand up now. He settles for crawling until he’s closer to Suguru and then sits back down. That should be fine.
Should he move first? He’s the one who suggested this, so he probably should, right? Suguru is looking at him, and that smug look is pissing him off so bad. Why does he gotta look like he knows something Satoru doesn’t?
“Are you gonna—”
Suguru is cut off when Satoru leans in and presses their lips together. It’s a little abrupt, so he guesses he can’t blame Suguru for not expecting it. It’s nothing more than a peck, and Suguru pulls back more out of shock than anything, probably.
“That’s not how you do it, idiot,” Suguru says, holding back his laughter.
“Alright, if you know so much, why don’t you show me?”
Then Suguru’s hand is grabbing at his neck and their lips are meeting again, this time less forcefully and more… right. Suguru’s tongue slides into his mouth, and the wet sensation startles him for a second before he’s meeting him halfway, actually kissing back.
It’s awkward, at first. Their noses clash accidentally as they try to find the best angle, and Satoru’s eyes keep slipping open. It kind of registers in his mind, belatedly, that he’s actually doing this. That’s his first kiss. And it’s with Suguru.
He tilts his head a little and—that’s it. That’s better. A low noise escapes his throat, and he really hopes Suguru didn’t hear it. Can’t have him acting any cockier than he already does.
It’s actually… really nice.
Satoru realizes his arms are just—falling awkwardly down his sides, and he should, like, do something with them. If this is practice, he should use it to figure this type of stuff out. So he places one hand on Suguru’s nape and the other on top of Suguru’s knee, which allows him to lean forward a little more comfortably, and Suguru—
Suguru leans back, pulling Satoru with him so he’s half on top of him. That’s… probably part of practice. It’s a different angle, so like, they have to cover that as well. Obviously.
He has to put some effort into keeping his hips up now, though, because this whole, like, situation got him a little chubbed up and he’d rather die than give Suguru that satisfaction. Suguru’s hand on his waist doesn't help the situation.
So Satoru continues clumsily licking into his mouth, because he’s still not sure he’s gotten the hang of it, but it feels really good anyway. Maybe because it’s Suguru, and he’s always loved doing everything with him. Even going to the konbini is more fun with Suguru by his side. So it makes sense that kissing him would feel great too. And also, he seems to know what he’s doing, at least more than Satoru does.
They part for a second to catch their breaths; Suguru’s hand is still on his waist, stabilizing, and Satoru decides that he likes it there. And maybe that should’ve been it. They definitely know more than they did before. But Satoru leans back in, chasing Suguru’s lips like he needs it. Maybe he does.
It’s just so good, the new sensations flooding his brain with each swipe of tongue. Satoru’s pretty sure he’s fully hard by now.
And then Suguru bites his bottom lip, which draws a needy sound out of Satoru and causes him to pull back in surprise. Fuck, he got carried away. Satoru feels the tips of his ears redden in embarrassment before Suguru tries to chase his mouth. Satoru stops him with a hand on his chest, though it has no real force behind it.
He just takes in the view for a second.
Suguru is breathing heavily—they both are—, eyes half-lidded like this was actually going to lead to something else and—that’s an idea.
He needs to get out.
“We sh— We should stop.”
Suguru stares at him, eyebrows pinched.
“Are you okay?”
“Yeah. I just— remembered I have something to do now. You know. Reports to submit.”
He swears he sees something like hurt flicker in Suguru’s eyes. It's gone within a second, though.
“Oh.”
“Goodbye!” Satoru says, practically jumping out of the bed.
“Bye, idiot,” he hears Suguru say behind him, but there’s affection in his tone.
The fifty seconds it takes Satoru to get to his room seem like an eternity. And like, he’s really glad there wasn’t anyone else in the hallway because he’s pretty sure his hard-on is beyond hiding now.
He just—needs to get off, and he needs it now. There’s barely time to shut the door before he’s leaning against it and pulling his shorts down.
Cool air hits his cock as it springs free, his hand wrapping around it immediately as he hisses at the contact. “Fuck.”
He tells himself it’s just a natural body reaction. It was just the closeness and warmth of their bodies. Biology. But as Satoru strokes himself, it’s Suguru he pictures, can’t help but imagine it’s his hand instead.
The images keep popping up, and he doesn't try to deny them. Instead, Satoru focuses on Suguru’s hand around him, desperate. Or maybe even his mouth—
“Sug— ah—”
And when he comes, it’s with Suguru in mind, the ghost sensation of their kisses just moments ago, the hand that had been on his neck. It's all so fresh; he had been there mere minutes ago. It feels sacrilegious, in a way.
Satoru stills, panting as he tries to assimilate all that just happened.
Fuck. He really did that.
It’s not like he’s never rubbed one off before, so this is completely normal. Not at all different from all the other times. So there’s no use dwelling on it. Totally ordinary.
Should he go back there? No, he just said he was busy. He kinda wants to go back, though. If not to keep making out, then at least to coexist in the same space as Suguru. He doesn't want things to get weird between them, so he needs to, like, establish that nothing's changed. Except maybe it did, but like, not in a bad way.
Yeah, he's going back there.
Satoru cleans off the mess and changes his underwear before rushing back to Suguru’s dorm room.
When he opens the door, Suguru is coming out of the bathroom drying his hands, and he looks at Satoru like he's seeing a ghost.
“S— Didn't you say you had stuff to do?”
“Yeah. I'm done now.”
Suguru squints. “That was like—five minutes.”
“Okay?”
Satoru doesn't want to keep talking about this, so hopefully Suguru will drop the subject. He drops down on Suguru’s bed and pats it twice, signaling for Suguru to come. He finally moves from the entrance to the bathroom and sits down beside Satoru.
“You uhh… sleeping here tonight?” Suguru asks, still seeming a little shell-shocked, and Satoru realizes that it's already dark outside. Might as well.
“Yeah.”
Two hours later, they're both dressed in Suguru’s pajamas, an empty pizza box sitting on the floor—half of it was some stupidly sweet flavor Satoru insisted on getting, which—totally worth it. A movie is playing on Suguru’s laptop propped up against their legs, but Satoru hasn't been paying attention to it for a while.
Suguru’s thumb keeps moving in circles against his hip, which isn't really anything he hasn't done before, but for some reason today all of Satoru’s brain cells decided to focus solely on every point of contact between them.
He shifts to lie on his side, hoping to maybe switch his focus, but now his foot is touching Suguru’s leg, and he doesn't move it. Suguru continues the soft caress.
“Literally why would he go back there?” Suguru’s voice startles him. “He's just asking to die at this point.”
And Satoru has no idea what he's even talking about, couldn't tell you the protagonist's name. He moves again to lay his head on Suguru’s shoulder, his knee pressing lightly into his thigh.
“You okay?”
“‘s comfortable,” he tells Suguru.
Satoru feels him kiss his forehead, and it makes his stomach feel warm and fuzzy. Like when it's a cold day, and you finally get under the covers and get this wave of joy you can't help but kick your feet. Suguru wraps an arm around him. Satoru wants to stay here forever.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
The next week goes by in a flash, as usual, except now Satoru knows the feel of Suguru’s lips against his and how his hand feels on his waist. And that's kind of the problem, because now he can't stop thinking about that. Even worse, since the incident, he can't come without thinking of Suguru, and it's ruining him. Suguru ruined him.
Suddenly, he gets the inexplicable urge to talk to Shoko and gather a second opinion on everything that transpired. Well, maybe not everything, but. Yeah. Talking to her always helps him sort through his thoughts and feelings. Like therapy. He really feels like he should be paying her for this.
So he makes his way to her room and knocks a few times.
She opens the door in her pajamas, looking pissed as if Gojo had woken her up. He knows he didn't, though, because he just saw Utahime leaving, like, a minute ago. She's rubbing off on Shoko.
“What.”
“Emergency.”
At that, her expression changes, softening.
“Speak.”
The words just flow out.
Some time later, they're sitting cross-legged on her bed while Shoko smokes a cigarette. Gojo hates the smell of cigarettes, but at least she keeps it close to the window. He's really glad Suguru didn't pick up that habit from her. Satoru wonders if kissing him would taste any different.
Shoko's room is messy in her own organized way. Everyone would say it's impossible to find anything in the clutter, but she knows where her stuff is. There's some medical papers hanging on the walls along with photos of her and Utahime, as well as some with him and Suguru. Satoru really likes the plushies on her bed, especially the Pokémon one (he got that one for her at the fair since they didn't have any Digimon ones. It took, like, five tries at the claw machine).
“So you're telling me you made out with him and now you're freaking out because you liked it?” She puts her cigarette out in the ashtray she keeps beside her bed. Satoru crinkles his nose.
“When you put it like that…”
“Like, I don't see the problem.”
“Well, the problem is that I want to do it again.”
“Then do it again.” Shoko's looking at him as if she thinks he's completely stupid. “You're so stupid.”
“Huh.”
That… could work.
“But what if he says no?”
“Gojo, I assure you he's not going to say no.”
“How can you tell, though?”
“Just trust me on this.”
“Okay,” he says, because really, Shoko's always right about stuff, so she must be right about this too. “Do you wanna grab a coffee?”
“You're paying?”
“Sure.” He shrugs.
Fifteen minutes later they're sitting in the cafeteria, Satoru with his cinnamon-flavored cappuccino, and Shoko with her plain black one.
“I’m curious, though,” she starts. “He’s not gonna get mad you told me?”
“Why would he? It was just practice.”
“I mean, sure, but…”
And of course, Suguru decided he needed the caffeine at the same time as them. Satoru sees him at the counter, taking his cup from the machine (and he knows Suguru probably chose some disgustingly bitter one, just like Shoko). He calls him over with a hand gesture once Suguru sees him.
And of course Shoko had to test it out.
“I heard you finally kissed him. Good job, Geto.” She gives him a thumbs up.
Suguru’s eyes flit towards Satoru for a moment before returning to Shoko. “Uh. Thanks.”
“Shut up, Shoko.” He shoves her lightly. Utahime would probably telepathically sense it if he used even an ounce more of force and send him a threat via message. But then he’s thinking about how they kissed again and his lips involuntarily curl into a smile. Wait. “What do you mean finally?”
“Oh, nothing,” she responds, stifling a laugh, and pointedly looks at Suguru. Huh.
“So,” Suguru clears his throat, “what were you guys thinking of doing after this?”
The very obvious deflection works, because they end up getting lost in conversation about what movies are in theaters right now and which one they should go watch, even though they probably won’t anyway.
── ⟢ ・⸝⸝
“Suguruuu.”
“Hm?”
They’re both lying on Suguru’s bed after class, each doing their own thing. Suguru is reading some manga while Satoru plays on his DS. It’s something they often do, and also one of Satoru’s favorite ways to spend time.
“You know, I was thinking and like. We should practice some more. Kissing.”
“Should we?”
“Yeah. I mean, it felt good, didn’t it?”
Suguru smirks. “Careful, or I might start thinking you just want to kiss me.”
Satoru scoffs. “As if.”
He feels his ears redden anyway.
“So, can we?” Satoru pouts.
“Yeah.” Suguru’s voice is soft as he nods lightly, almost imperceptible. Then he moves a little closer and Satoru feels that same heat pool low in his stomach. It’s anticipation and something else altogether, and it threatens to spill over.
“You know what, actually just forget about this.” Satoru is about to throw a leg over Suguru to step off the bed when Suguru’s hand comes up to his neck, stopping him.
“Hey.” He’s looking at Satoru so intensely his heart skips a beat. “Come on.”
Satoru takes a deep breath. “‘Kay.” They’re closer now. “Y’know, I kinda missed this, even if we’ve only done it once.”
“That’s funny. I missed it too.”
And that makes him feel kinda fuzzy. Is that what people call ‘butterflies in your stomach’? Oh no.
Suguru moves first, just a slide of tongue at first, which Satoru immediately deepens. Yeah, that’s what he needed. There’s the faint taste of coffee and something sweet, and he’s dizzy with it. Slow and maddening.
His hands come up to hold Suguru’s face. He just wants to touch him everywhere but… that’s too much. Probably.
Suguru’s thumb comes up to clean a bit of spit that’s dribbled down the corner of Satoru’s mouth and, in what’s not his sanest moment, Satoru takes that finger into his mouth, licking around it. He looks up at Suguru, and like... he looks like he short-circuited a little bit. Pupils blown wide, mouth a little parted in surprise and maybe something else.
Satoru pulls off with a pop, then surges forward to catch Suguru’s lips again.
He feels Suguru’s hands wrap around his waist, then Suguru flips him around so Satoru’s back is on the bed, and he has to admit that maybe being manhandled does do something for him. Satoru is strong; he knows this, so for someone—for Suguru—to be able to move him around that easily, it’s…
Well. He’s hard again.
But Suguru’s kissing him and he’s on top of him, and Satoru really doesn’t want to move. He bites Suguru’s lower lip, teasing, pulling a groan out of him that sends a shiver through Satoru’s whole body.
“Suguru…” Satoru grabs at his shirt, trying to get him closer, and Suguru allows himself to be pulled down, the friction from their clothed erections making them both gasp. “Fuck.”
“God…” Suguru looks crazed with the contact, and he buries his face in the crook of Satoru’s neck. “We should stop,” he whispers, close to his ear.
Satoru nods. “We should.”
Neither of them makes any effort to stop, though. It’s simply instinct, to chase that high, to grind against each other carelessly, trying to get even closer.
Satoru feels Suguru begin to kiss his neck, soft, at first, before they turn into hickeys. Fuck, they’re probably gonna bruise. Satoru hopes they do. Suguru’s mouth feels wonderful on him, and god forgive him if he wants people to know he’s got the best friend he could ask for. He tries to convey the feeling by lifting his hips, earning a low groan from Suguru.
“Need— I want—” Satoru is a blabbering mess by now, his dick already leaking precum.
“Tell me.”
Suguru’s moving with him, has shifted his weight forward to get more friction, and each roll of his hips makes Satoru’s spine shudder.
“Just— Just keep doing that. Don’t stop.”
He feels Suguru shake his head, still buried in his neck, and then go back to sucking and lapping at the skin there like it's his oxygen. Satoru feels dizzy. He's so hard it's painful, yet he can barely focus on that, all his attention on Suguru, Suguru, Suguru. Satoru’s hand is on his nape, trying to pull him impossibly closer; he wants all the bruises Suguru is willing to give him.
“Suguru,” he whimpers, and it's like— It's not a sound he's ever heard himself make, not like that. Satoru recognizes his own desperation in his voice, and he might be embarrassed if he had it in him to care right now. Satoru wonders if it feels as good for Suguru, if he's as close as he is just from this. Every time Suguru rolls his hips against this particular spot, Satoru feels his eyes almost roll back, the moans just fall from his lips unabashedly, and through the haze he can make out Suguru’s low groaning.
He's so wet. Fuck, he doesn't think he's ever been this turned on in his life.
It feels like he's been bordering his climax forever, always just a push from going over. Suguru being on him is making him feel so hot, he can only take shallow breaths. His legs are shaking, trying to cage Suguru between them. Satoru doesn't think he could bear it if Suguru were to leave right now. He feels it all build up inside him and then it finally spills.
“Suguru—”
Satoru’s muscles contract as he comes in his pants, his eyes shutting close as he rides the high of what's probably the best orgasm he's ever had. Suguru catches his lips in a kiss as Satoru goes through the aftershocks, messy, because Satoru can't really aim right now.
As his breathing steadies, Suguru pulls away and drops down into the space beside him.
“Holy shit.”
“Yeah,” Suguru agrees.
Satoru props himself up on one elbow. He stares at Suguru, the rise and fall of his stomach, the happy trail that's showing where his shirt has ridden up, the way it follows downward.
The words come out of his mouth, unchecked.
“Let me suck you off.”
Suguru’s head snaps towards him.
“What?”
“You heard me, man.”
He makes this face that looks like he's fighting demons inside of his head, and Satoru’s really hoping the demons will win because he needs to suck Suguru’s dick. Like, right now.
“You don't have to.”
“I know. I want to.”
“Are you s—”
“Please.”
That seems to do it. “Okay. Okay, fuck.” When Suguru’s hands begin to lower the waistband of his pants, it all suddenly becomes very real.
Suguru’s lying there in his boxers, looking at Satoru and, god, he can see how big he is. How hard he is.
He moves to position himself between Suguru’s legs, a hand on his knee, and nuzzles his cheek against Suguru’s cock through his boxers.
“‘Toru...”
Satoru hums at the nickname, burying his nose on Suguru’s crotch. He feels so fucked out, and Suguru didn't even fuck him.
“Satoru, baby.”
Baby.
“Hurry up.”
And then it finally dawns on him that Suguru needs this as much as he does. That Suguru’s desperate for it, for his mouth around him. And he sounds so good like that; Satoru wants him to stop holding back and just take everything he needs.
Maybe Satoru should tease him for it, but he really can't pull away for a second, nor make up a comment intelligent enough. He's just the same. His body's moving in complete instinct, fingers tugging his boxers down. Suguru’s cock springs up, sitting pretty against his stomach and Satoru’s mouth waters at the sight. He's red and aching and, fuck, wet with precum.
Satoru gives an experimental lick up the shaft, reveling in the shaky breath that leaves Suguru. Then he takes the head into his mouth, swirls his tongue around it and lowers himself until he’s halfway down. Suguru’s big, so he wraps a hand around the rest of the length. He has no idea what he's doing, but he wants to make it good for Suguru.
He’s trying to make his way down, taking a little bit more each time he bobs his head, but he accidentally goes too fast, and it hits the back of his throat. Satoru chokes but gets back to it.
“Relax your throat, baby.”
Satoru tries to do so, but he gets no warning for the way Suguru’s hips jerk up.
“S-sorry.”
Satoru shakes his head to signal that it's okay. Or else Suguru might see his watery eyes and freak out.
And Satoru really doesn't want this to stop. He's doing as told, and he thinks he's getting the hang of it. He's hollowing his cheeks every time he takes Suguru’s length into his mouth, and if anything, Suguru’s noises above him are a good indicator.
Suguru’s hand comes to hold the back of his head, impatient. Who would've thought?
“S-so good, fuck.”
His heart sings at the praise. At this point, he's managing to take most of him; his mouth feels so full. Suguru’s hips involuntarily kick up again, and Satoru gags a little. He'd let Suguru fuck his mouth, he realizes right then, because his dick is starting to harden again, straining against his boxers. He didn’t even know he could get hard again this fast.
Satoru regains control of the situation and goes back to bobbing his head, reeling from the soft moans slipping past Suguru’s lips. Suguru’s grip on his hair tightens. Satoru loses himself in it, swollen lips curling around Suguru, moving on their own.
“You take me so well,” Suguru says, and Satoru can't help but think about how it sounds like… like he's talking about something else. And, fuck, he wants that, too. He could take it, make it so good.
The whole situation is so hot, Satoru feels it accumulate in his stomach; he’s so close. He can’t believe he’s got Suguru’s cock in his mouth, up to the hilt now. The mounting pressure is too much; it’s all building up so fast, his heart accelerating.
“I'm— Satoru, I'm gonna—”
He wants to see Suguru’s face when he comes. Even though his eyes are stinging with tears at their corners, he forces himself to open them and look up at Suguru. Their eyes meet for a fraction of a second, and when Suguru comes in Satoru’s mouth, he gets to see his face filled with pleasure. Satoru follows suit, coming for a second time, without even touching himself.
Satoru realizes that maybe Suguru warned him so he would pull back, but that didn't really cross his mind in the moment. He just wanted to keep going. He swallows all of it as Suguru’s legs twitch a little under him and then opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out to show him.
“Fuck,” Suguru breathes out, chest heaving. “C’mere,” he says, and just—pulls Satoru forward. Satoru loses his balance and almost falls, but he manages to sit on Suguru’s lap, and then kisses him back.
“You liked it that much?” Satoru smirks.
“Yeah, but…”
Something stupid is gonna come out of his mouth; Satoru can feel it.
“But?”
“That's not gonna be very useful, you know?”
“Huh?”
“For when you get a girlfriend.”
Oh.
Satoru kinda… forgot that this was what it was all about.
“Do I need one?”
He doesn't know what he's saying.
“Didn't you want one?”
“Y-yeah, but…“ Satoru covers his face with a pillow. The words come out muffled through the fabric: “I have you.”
Suguru doesn't answer immediately, which makes him panic for a second. Because he can't ruin this—everything they have. He can’t lose his best friend. Satoru removes the pillow to look at him—trying to gauge his reaction. Did Suguru get what he meant?
“You want me to be your girlfriend?”
“Dumbass.” Why does he have to say it like that? “Yeah.”
Then Suguru smiles, and he's looking a little crazy and—
Suguru’s kissing him again. They've already done that a lot today, but it feels so sweet this time. So gentle, yet Satoru can tell he means it.
“So, what does that mean?” he asks, because he wants to hear Suguru say it.
“What do you think?”
Goddamn.
“We're dating?”
Suguru kisses the side of his mouth and mumbles, “Mhm.”
“I wanna hear you say it.”
“We're dating,” Suguru says easily. Satoru smiles against his lips and then feels Suguru’s hands settle at his ass. A promise for later. “Take a shower with me?”
And Satoru really wants to take a shower with him, but he also really wants to stay here, and his body seems to prefer that, too. “I know it's sticky, but give me five more minutes. I came twice.”
“Twice?”
“Uh, yeah. Once, y’know, and once when, uh. When I was blowing you.”
“You came from giving me a blowjob?”
“Yeah, that’s what I just said.”
“I can’t believe you thought you were straight.”
“Shut up!” Satoru says and then drapes himself over Suguru because his limbs do feel like jelly. “Five more minutes.”
“I love you,” Suguru says. “I love you so much.”
And it doesn't feel too early to say that, it really doesn't.
“I love you too.” Satoru smiles against the curve of his neck.