Chapter Text
Mary was trying very hard not to laugh at the look that Mr. Hayward was throwing at Mr. Ryder, whose grin was far too big for being currently in the middle of the lake.
“How do you always manage to cause such a scene?” Mr. Hayward asked as he and Mr. Ryder continued to tread water in front of Mary.
“It’s quite bracing, isn’t it?” Mr. Ryder responded, completely unperturbed by Mr. Hayward’s irritation. Mary could do nothing but try and hide her laugh behind a smile when Mr. Hayward scowled at Mr. Ryder in response. “Could you help, Miss Bennet?”
“Oh, uh, yes,” Mary said. She looked around for rope or anything that could be used to help the gentlemen onto the boat. Mr. Hayward seemed to have already thought of that, though.
“Miss Bennet, could you get an oar, please?” Mr. Hayward asked breathlessly as he tried to tread water with waterlogged boots.
“Yes, of course,” Mary said as she grabbed the first oar she saw and threw it to Mr. Hayward. She quickly realized her mistake as it floated right past him before either man could grab it. “Ah.”
“That’s not… quite what I meant,” Mr. Hayward said. “Could you get the other oar and hold onto your end?”
Mary tried to fight her smile again as she grabbed the other oar and brought it to the edge. She really didn’t want to lose her hold on this one and wrapped her hands around the oar.
Both gentlemen thanked her as they simultaneously reached for the oar. Mr. Ryder got his hands on it first and immediately began trying to pull himself up. She quickly realized that simply holding onto the oar would not add the necessary leverage to help get the man in the boat.
She quickly repositioned herself and leaned her body fully on the oar as Mr. Ryder started to pull more. His weight began to cause Mary to slide, though, and she felt her balance begin to shift the more that Mr. Ryder moved.
“Let go,” Mr. Hayward said, his brows furrowing the more he watched Mr. Ryder. “The last thing we want is to pull Miss Bennet in.”
“Okay,” Mr. Ryder said. But he either thought he would let go once he got in, or that Mr. Hayward was just being overly cautious, because instead of letting go, he threw his leg over the side.
This shift in position forced him to adjust his hands on the oar, which caused the placement of the oar to move again, and shifting the balance that Mary had on it. Or more precisely, making her lose it entirely.
Mary’s heart jumped into her throat as she felt her feet rise from the floor of the boat just as Mr. Ryder nearly finished pulling himself up. The flung out her arms on instinct, for some reason thinking that the air might provide a handhold. It did not. She had already begun tipping, and even as her feet hit the ground she quickly found that she did not have enough room to regain her balance. And so while Mr. Ryder was halfway getting into the boat, Mary was halfway falling out of it.
The cold registered before anything else, and it stole her breath from her.
Her mouth had been open in shock from her fall, and so as the water surrounded her, she swallowed and breathed in more than anyone should, causing her body to immediately panic as the water hit her lungs. Mary kicked her feet as hard as she could, briefly breaking the surface and taking a small breath of air before sinking back under again.
Mary had thankfully swum enough as a child to be a proficient swimmer, but knowing how to swim only went so far when you’re attempting to cough up half the lake. And so when Mary resurfaced, she reached blindly for the side of the boat she’d fallen from as she tried to tread water. She was desperately looking for some sort of purchase to hold onto so she could continue coughing without fearing her head would back under the water.
While she didn’t find the edge of the boat, she suddenly found herself being lifted slightly out of the water.
Something warm was wrapped firmly around her waist, allowing her to lean against something warm and solid as she was finally kept steady enough to hack up the remaining water in her lungs. After a few more rattling coughs, her chest felt clear enough to breathe clearly again and actually notice that a voice was frantically calling her name.
“Miss Bennet? Miss Bennet, are you alright?” Mr. Hayward said right next to her.
Mary looked over to see Mr. Hayward’s eyes were mere inches away from hers. Water dripped from his hair and down his face as he stared intently at her to make sure she was okay.
He had one arm holding them to the boat, ensuring they wouldn’t sink beneath the surface again, while the other was wrapped securely around her waist. Mary then realized that the warm, solid form she was resting against was, in fact, Mr. Hayward himself.
Her arms, which she had not been paying attention to in her panic, were resting around Mr. Hayward’s neck and shoulders in an attempt to keep her head above water. The result was that Mary was quite literally hanging onto him, closer than she’d ever been before, even during their dance at Lady Winspear’s ball.
They were so close that she could feel him trembling under her hands, though she could not tell if it was from the cold water, the exertion of holding them both above the water, or something else.
“Miss Bennet, please, are you alright?” Mr. Hayward asked again, his breath tickling her cheek as he tightened his grip around her so she would not slip back under the water.
She was glad that the blush that formed could easily be explained away by the present circumstances, and not be the reaction this man was causing in her.
“I am fine, Mr. Hayward,” Mary said, though her voice sounded raw from her coughing.
From above them in the boat, Mr. Ryder began to move closer to the side Mary and Mr. Hayward were on, likely to be able to lay his eyes on Mary himself. However, his movement caused the whole boat to shift, jostling Mr. Hayward and forcing Mary to wrap her arms tighter around him so she could fall in again.
Mary could feel his thundering heartbeat underneath her fingertips as he yelled for Mr. Ryder to stop moving.
“Miss Bennet, I cannot apologize enough for you ending up in the water. Are you hurt?” Mr. Ryder asked.
“I believe I am fine, Mr. Ryder, but I think we should definitely get back to shore,” Mary called up.
“Right, of course,” Mr. Ryder said. “Here let me get you back in the boat.” He moved as though he planned to pull Mary up by her arms, but Mr. Hayward spoke up before Mr. Ryder could even attempt it.
“I think we saw what happens when someone tries to pull someone else into the boat, Mr. Ryder. If you attempt it, I fear you will capsize the boat and then we’ll be in even worse trouble,” Mr. Hayward said through gritted teeth.
“What do you suggest, Mr. Hayward?” Mary asked genuinely. He turned his head to address her, bringing their faces inches away from each other. She tried to ignore the way Mr. Hayward’s eyes seemed to flit down. Was he looking at her lips? No, Mary was being ridiculous. Mr. Hayward looked back up into Mary’s eyes, his pupils blown wide, before he swallowed loudly and answered her.
“I suggest I lift you into the boat, Miss Bennet, and then Mr. Ryder can use the oar while I push from my side of the boat,” he said.
Mary didn’t particularly like the idea of having to share the baot with Mr. Ryder, considering he was the one who had caused them to be in the water, but she also knew there wasn’t any other option. She nodded to Mr. Hayward.
“Mr. Ryder, grab Miss Bennet’s hand and I will lift her up,” Mr. Hayward said. “Miss Bennet, I need you to grab onto the boat now.”
Mary unwrapped her arms from around Mr. Hayward to reach for the edge of the boat while he gently positioned her closer. Mr. Ryder reached down to grasp her hands.
“Ready when you are, Hayward,” he said.
“One. Two. Three!” Mr. Hayward called. He was somehow able to kick hard enough to keep his head above water while he brought his other hand to her waist and pushed her up into the air while Mr. Ryder pulled her enough to bring her back over the edge.
She landed, sprawled on the floor of the boat, water dripping from her drenched clothing as she once again caught her breath. She ignored Mr. Ryder’s hand up as she positioned herself in her previous bench on the boat. Once she was safely sitting down, Mr. Hayward called for Mr. Ryder to use the remaining oar to start directing them while Mr. Hayward pushed from his side.
What had previously been a lovely day now felt much colder as the wind blew across the lake. Mary felt her breath shake as she inhaled, and could see her hand shake as she pushed her glasses, which had thankfully not been lost in the ordeal, further up her nose.
Mr. Ryder kept trying to start a conversation as the boat moved closer to shore, but the chattering of Mary’s teeth and her irritation with him resulted in a far more silent boat ride than he had intended.
As they got nearer, Mary could see her aunt and uncle watching them with confused concern. She imagined she would have looked the same if one of her family members had left dry and returned drenched.
Once they hit the sand, Mr. Hayward pulled the boat further up while Mr. Ryder got out to help. When the baot was no longer in the water, they offered their hands to help Mary down. Her still-wet dress made it admittedly hard to maneuver, though she thankfully did so without falling.
“What on earth happened to you all?” Aunt Gardiner asked. Mary looked down at herself to try and get a better picture of what her aunt was seeing. Mary was sure she looked like a drowned dog in that moment. As she looked over at Mr. Hayward though, she realized she had at least one thing to be grateful for: not wearing a white dress.
For Mr. Hayward had been wearing a white shirt, and the dip in the lake had now made it completely translucent. Mary could see, clear as day, the contours of his chest and shoulder, and the man was slowly untying his cravat and pulling it from his neck.
Mary forced her eyes away and tried to listen to Mr. Ryder’s apologies for his intrusion and his actions causing them to fall into the lake, and that he was here for some sort of legal advice. None of the words registered to Mary as she tried to avoid looking at Mr. hayward again. Tried to forget that she’d had her arms wrapped around that neck and those shoulders. That her body had been resting against that chest.
“Let’s get you into some dry clothes, Mary,” Aunt Gardiner said, pulling Mary from her distracting thoughts. “All of you must get changed, or you will surely catch your death.”
They slowly trudged up to the inn, Mr. Hayward and Mr. Ryder on either side of her as she tried to keep her balance. Her wet dress kept catching on her legs, making walking far more taxing than normal. Mr. Hayward walked close by, his hand seeming to hover nearby in case she needed him.
Mr. Ryder kept attempting to tell jokes to cheer her up, but Mary was in no mood to entertain him at the moment. Her curt responses seemed to clue him in soon enough. She may have been more forgiving if she hadn’t fallen in the lake, and if he hadn’t interrupted her conversation with Mr. Hayward.
They were finally nearing the inn, with a drizzle just starting, when her uncle spoke.
“That was a much more adventurous day than I’d been imagining,” Mr. Gardiner said. While Mary agreed with him, she may not have shed as positive a light on it.
“Yes, it was quite unexpected all around,” Miss Bennet commented as she pushed her hair out of her eyes. “I mean… What, the Hursts are here!”
They all stopped at Mary’s words as they so the unexpected additions. Mr. Hurst seemed delighted to see her, if a little confused by her appearance.
“Greetings from London!” He called as he came down to greet them, smiling warmly at her. “Miss Bennet.”
“Mr. Hurst,” Mary said, confused by his presence as everyone else greeted the couple.
“What is that smell?” Mrs. Hurst commented, a deep scowl on her face. Mary wasn’t sure what she was referring to; it smelled like nature and rain to her. Mrs. Hurst being here suddenly worried Mary though. Where Mrs. Hurst was, Caroline Bingley was likely nearby.
“Is this the whole of your party, or is…?” Mary asked before the voice of exactly who she feared was heard.
“Louisa? Have you seen my silver reticule?” Caroline said as she walked outside, coming to an abrupt stop. “Oh.”
“Miss Bingley,” Mr. Ryder greeted with a smile, evidently not surprised by her presence.
“Miss Bingley,” Tom said, clearly not as happy as Mr. Ryder was at seeing the woman.
Caroline gave them all a once-over, her eyes lingering on Mary in irritation before landing on Mr. Ryder.
“Ryder, why are you undressed?” Caroline asked. Mr. Ryder looked down at his jacket, as though he didn’t know how to say he took a dip in the lake. Mary just kept looking at Caroline, though. It was bad enough that Mr. Ryder had intruded on their trip, but now Caroline and the Hursts? “Well, I have never been anywhere so wet and muddy in all my life. And what is that smell?”
“That’s what I said,” Mrs. Hurst said. Mary couldn’t imagine what smell they were referring to, it certainly smelled better than London. Mr. Hayward seemed just as fed up with the comments, somehow putting Mary’s thoughts to words.
“That is oxygen, Miss Bingley. That is the smell of fresh air,” Mr. Hayward said with a forced smile. Caroline just sniffed at him, hardly deigning to acknowledge him before looking at Mary.
“Miss Bennet, no one mentioned you were going to be here,” Miss Bingley said curtly, as though Mary was the uninvited guest.
“And yet, here I am,” Mary said with a shake of her head. She was growing tired of this conversation; she truly did just want to change into some dry clothes.
“Right. Well, we ought to get ourselves settled in these frightfully small rooms,” Miss Bingley said before walking away. “Louisa, Mr. Hurst.”
Mary breathed a sigh of relief that she’d finally gone, only to have Mr. Ryder moving into her line of sight, his boots squelching with every step.
“Right. I will change and meet you all for supper…” he said as he smiled at Mary. “…by the fire to warm us up.”
Mary heard Mr. Hayward sigh as Mr. Ryder departed; it almost sounded like relief.
He took his place in front of Mary now, his eyes once again scanning her face to verify her well-being.
“I’m so sorry you fell in, Miss Bennet,” Mr. Hayward said. Mary immediately shook her head; he had nothing to apologize for.
“You are certainly not at fault, Mr. Hayward. In fact, I’m positive that you’re the reason I’m not still coughing up the lake. Thank you,” Mary said earnestly. Mr. Hayward smiled gently at her.
“It was not a problem, Miss Bennet. I’m just thankful you’re okay,” he said. “If you’ll excuse me, Miss Bennet, I shall go and change as well. I believe you should too.”
Mary nodded as he walked away.
“Oh Mary,” Aunt Gardiner said as she grasped Mary’s still damp hand. “Tom is right; let us get you out of these wet clothes.”
She pulled Mary into the inn and up to her room while her uncle said he’d request that the inn worker make the fire a bit bigger tonight.
Once in her room, Mary immediately untied her hair and shed her wet clothing. She used one of the towels to dry herself and her damp hair before donning a dry dress. She quickly put her hair into a simple updo and wrapped a shawl around her shoulders to try and keep the chill out. It was doing little, though, and she soon left her room in search of the large hearth in the inn.
She was pleased when she came down the stairs to find Mr. Hayward had the same idea. When her footsteps drew close enough for him to hear, he looked up and smiled at her. Before he could stand, Mary sat down in the chair beside him, happy to bask in the heat of the fire.
“Are you feeling better, Miss Bennet?” he asked.
“I am, Mr. Hayward. I trust you’re feeling warmer too?” She asked.
“Yes, Miss Bennet,” he replied. They sat in warm silence as they enjoyed the fire and each other’s presence. It reminded Mary a little of how content she’d felt that afternoon, before Mr. Ryder had shown up.
“I’m sorry that Mr. Ryder interrupted our time on the boat, Mr. Hayward,” Mary said.
“As am I, Miss Bennet,” Mr. Hayward said with a pained look at the reminder, before giving her a soft smile. “I’m especially sorry our conversation was interrupted.”
Mary nodded in agreement.
“Perhaps we could-“ Mr. Hayward began, before Mr. Ryder once again made his voice heard.
“Miss Bennet,” Mr. Ryder called as he came down the stairs, Caroline on his heels, bowing to Mary in greeting. Mary could see Mr. Hayward grit his teeth at being interrupted again. “I’m glad you’re looking much warmer.”
“Thank you, Mr. Ryder,” Mary said as she stood and curtsied.
“Yes, we’re all much warmer,” Caroline said, shooting Mary an irritated look. “Shall we go and find out seats at the supper table, Mr. Ryder?” Caroline pulled Mr. Ryder into the dining room with minimal complaint from him, though his gaze lingered on Mary as he departed.
Mary let out her own sigh at the departure of Mr. Ryder and Caroline, already missing when their party had been just the Gardiners, herself, and Mr. Hayward.
“Shall we join them for supper, as well, Miss Bennet?” Mr. Hayward said as he took a step closer and offered her his arm. Mary looked up at him to see the return of that soft smile, his gaze even warmer than the fire. She wrapped her arm firmly around his and nodded.
“Let’s,” Mary agreed.
Despite the larger party, Mary was happy to say that dinner that evening was not dissimilar from what it had been most nights during their time at the lakes. She and Tom still spent much of the meal in deep conversation. While they were both hesitant to bring up the conversation on the boat in front of a crowd, they still had no shortage of things to talk about.
They discussed the multitude of activities they’d enjoyed during the week, from a nature walk to a trip to the local village. Mr. Hayward recounted some of his more unique legal cases, and happily answered Mary’s questions, and asked his own when she discussed potential lessons she’d like to teach as a governess.
At one point, while Mr. Hayward was telling her about an interesting case involving one of his clients in London, Mary let out a small sneeze. She didn’t think anything of it, but she could see her aunt had thrown her a searching look.
“I’m fine; it was just a sneeze,” Mary promised. Aunt Gardiner squinted her eyes slightly before continuing her conversation with Mr. Hurst.
Mary turned back to Mr. Hayward to see he was giving a worried look of his own. She reached forward and squeezed his hand lightly in reassurance.
“Truly, Mr. Hayward, it’s nothing. Now, you were saying?” Mary asked. Mr. Hayward hesitated before finishing his story. And so their conversation continued to jump from topic to topic as they ignored the other dinner guests around them.
Mary was in the middle of giving details about a geology lesson and how to identify sedimentary rock when she let out another sneeze. It at least small enough that her aunt hadn’t heard, but Mr. Hayward certainly had.
He said nothing to her before he quickly stood and left the room. Mary didn’t get a chance to ask what he was doing before he came back carrying a small blanket. Mary felt silly being doted on, but still thanked Mr. Hayward when he wrapped it around her shoulder, her breath hitching slightly when he hand came achingly close to grazing her cheek. She again recalled how close they’d been when he grabbed her in the lake, and hoped he didn’t notice how much she was blushing now.
“Thank you, Mr. Hayward,” Mary said as she pulled the blanket closer around her.
“Are you sure you’re feeling up to the climb tomorrow? I arranged for the guide to meet us here in the morning, but I can easily reschedule.” Before Mary could shake her head, not wanting to lose out on a chance of climbing to the peak beside Mr. Hayward as they planned, Mr. Ryder’s voice once again piped up.
“Ah, yes. Mr. Gardiner tells us that you are climbing Scafell tomorrow,” Mr. Ryder said, looking almost worryingly between Mary and Mr. Hayward, like he wasn’t particularly happy by how close they were to each other.
“That is true…” Mary said, wishing Uncle Gardiner hadn’t been quite so forthcoming with their plans.
“Then we shall join you,” Mr. Ryder declared. Mary felt that flicker of irritation again, trying to remind herself that Mr. Ryder was her friend, even if it was a little difficult to remember in that moment.
“You would need to make proper preparations before undertaking such a climb,” Mr. Hayward said, clearly not happy with Mr. Ryder inviting himself on their climb.
“Of course, Mr. Hayward would rather confine us to smooth lakes and calm views,” Mr. Ryder said jokingly, looking at Mary for her agreement as he took a sip from his cup.
“I would just be happy to make it through the day without one of your particular adventures,” Mr. Hayward said, his voice a little harder. Mr. Ryder seemed unbothered by his comment, though.
“What about you, Miss Bingley? Mrs. Hurst, will you join us?
“It is a difficult climb,” Aunt Gardiner said.
“A most difficult climb,” Uncle Gardiner said in agreement. Caroline wasn’t listening to any of them as she answered Mr. Ryder.
“I have long wished to see the place that birthed such magnificent verses. A few inconveniences on the way are a small price to pay,” she said, giving Mr. Ryder a sweet smile.
Mary was surprised by Caroline’s response, never suspecting that she might also be a fan of poetry.
“Do you read poetry, Miss Bingley? I didn’t know you cared for it,” Mary said.
“It was a passion I share only with my friends,” Caroline snapped back, glaring at Mary for her question, causing an uneasy silence to settle on the table.
“Tell me, how long will this climb take?” Mrs. Hurst asked, breaking the quiet.
Mary still felt the tension, though. And while Caroline’s barbs didn’t hit as they once did, Mary still didn’t have the patience to deal with tonight. She was starting to feel a shiver of cold again, and could feel a familiar itch in her nose again.
“I think I’ll turn in,” Mary whispered to her aunt. Aunt Gardiner’s looked over Mary’s face, as though looking for some sign that she wasn’t feeling well, before giving her a small nod.
Mr. Hayward stood with her, giving Mary an opportunity to bid him goodnight.
“I hope you are feeling better tomorrow, Miss Bennet,” Mr. Hayward said as he once again pulled the blanket tighter around Mary’s shoulders.
“I’m feeling perfectly fine now, Mr. Hayward,” Mary said, though she could see Mr. Hayward didn’t fully believe her.
“Nonetheless, if you aren’t feeling well tomorrow, we can reschedule our climb,” Mr. Hayward said without hesitation.
“Too many people are going now; it would be unfair to change plans now,” Mary said, hating that it would no longer be their small party at the top tomorrow. Mr. Hayward didn’t seem to care as he shook his head though.
“I have no want to climb to the top of Scafell if you are not with me, Miss Bennet,” Mr. Hayward said, causing warmth to bloom in Mary’s chest. “But perhaps, if you are still feeling well enough tomorrow, you and I could walk together to the top of that mountain? So we might finish that conversation that we started in the boat?”
Mary couldn’t hold in her smile at his suggestion.
“I’d very much like that,” Mary said, just as Mr. Hayward was called away by her uncle.
Mary watched him go, a feeling of hope beginning to spark at the thought of their continued conversation and where it might lead. Her daydreaming kept her from noticing Mr. Ryder until he was right in front of her.
“Miss Bennet,” Mr. Ryder said, causing her to stop. “I’ve been wanting to speak to you to apologize…for my proposal at Pemberley.”
“For Pemberley?” Mary asked, having tried to forget the offer he’d given her at Pemberley. Mr. Ryder’s eyes widened as he quickly remembered another reason why he should be apologizing.
“And for today, of course. I’m so sorry, again, for you ending up in the water,” he said.
“Please, think no more of it,” Mary asked. She really didn’t want any more reminders of Pemberley, and as for today, hopefully it would look much amusing after a good night’s sleep. “Besides, I’d very much like to retire after today’s swim in the lake so I can be rested for the climb tomorrow.”
“Mr. Ryder,” Caroline called, trying to interrupt their conversation. “We need your knowledge of the mountains to settle an argument.”
Mr. Ryder hardly gave her a passing glance as he asked her for one moment and focused back on Mary. Speaking again before Mary could leave.
“Miss Bennet, the top of Scafell Pike is the most beautiful place I have ever seen,” Mr. Ryder said. “Once we get there… I will make amends to you,” Mr. Ryder said seriously.
“Mr. Ryder, you have nothing to make amends for, truly,” Mary said as he walked away to join Caroline and the Hursts.
Mary huffed in frustration that he wasn’t listening to her and turned to finally go back to her room.
She changed quickly into her nightgown and kept the blanket Mr. Hayward had given her wrapped around her shoulders as she sank into her covers. She tried not to worry herself when she gave another sneeze, this one far louder than the other ones, and quickly fell asleep with the hope that she would get to finish her conversation with Mr. Hayward the next day.