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Something fell to the ground as Ryo’s elbow knocked into the shelf.
“Sakuya, wait—”
A shaky exhale escaped his lips as Sakuya gripped his hip harder.
The space was too cramped. They barely had enough room to breathe properly. Sakuya pulled Ryo’s shirt out of his pants while his hand found his belt, letting the electricity in his veins consume him whole.
“Fuck…” Ryo mumbled.
He stifled a moan when Sakuya slipped a hand in the narrow space freed by his unbuckled belt. The latter found him already half hard under his fingers.
“Keep quiet,” he muttered into his ear.
Ryo squeezed his eyes shut. He shuddered at the feeling of Sakuya palming him over his underwear.
Sakuya wanted to ease his tortured frown by kissing him, but he couldn’t. They were still wearing make-up and their lipsticks would get messed up if they kissed. Which was a shame, because Ryo’s lips only looked more enticing under a pink tinted gloss, and he was ruining it anyway by biting them to hold back his moans.
He'd get scolded by their make-up artist again because he had a bad habit of biting and picking at his lips when he was nervous, and they'd already switched his gloss to a non-flavored one so he’d be less tempted to lick them—and the artist wouldn’t know Ryo’s bad habit would have nothing to do with his red-bitten lips this time.
Sakuya wanted to kiss him, devour him, leave his lips chapped and bleeding and let him take all the blame in front of the staff.
“Saku, please. I’m next…”
Sakuya put his forehead against Ryo’s, getting as close as he could without committing to kissing him. He pushed him further against the wall. Ryo’s hand tightened on the front of his shirt.
“I know.”
He watched Ryo squirm and fail to hold back his whines as he teased him in the heat of his pants. He was never good at keeping quiet, and without Sakuya’s mouth to muffle him, he was even noisier than usual. Sakuya could see him falter every time a moan was punched out of him.
A voice reached their ears through the wall, making the both of them still.
“Where’s Ryo?”
A staff member.
Ryo pushed Sakuya away. He had to manually get the latter’s hand out of his pants, because Sakuya was determined to keep holding him.
“You’re impossible,” he whispered under his breath as he adjusted himself.
Sakuya smirked. “And you’re hard.”
Ryo left without another glance.
Sakuya could have easily held him back. He could have trapped him against the wall, made him come without even getting his hand dirty and gotten him late and in trouble with their manager. He could have, but he let him go.
He’d have him later.
Because whatever Sakuya wanted, he got.
Looking back, it may have been a gift he'd always had.
At first, he just thought he was lucky. That the four leaf clover he'd found at the Namsan Park was stacking the odds in his favor. When the clover started rotting away and inevitably ended up in the trash and his luck remained, he started believing in God. He read verses of the bible during lunch breaks and prayed at night so his dearest wishes would be granted.
But there were only so many instances of the universe bending to his will that could happen before he realized that he was God.
The first time it truly hit him, his stomach was turning with so much anxiety and stress he could’ve thrown up. He was standing straight under blinding lights next to bodies he couldn’t care less about. The focus wasn’t on him anymore.
All the attention was on the three trainees whose names hadn’t been called yet, and Sakuya couldn’t look at him, he couldn’t, because if he did, he’d have to not only feel it in his guts but also see it in his eyes—that he was about to lose him.
He’d forgotten how to breathe. He just held the air inside his lungs and waited, waited, waited for the carbon dioxide to poison his veins and make him choke. He stared straight ahead and waited for the world to end, because if Ryo didn't make it with him, his life would stop, and no one else’s deserved to go on.
But the world didn't end.
It didn't, because Sakuya had it in the palm of his hand.
And just like that, he bent reality where the odds didn’t add up. He bent reality where fire should have set ablaze and just burned quietly, where water should have frozen and evaporated instead, where Ryo shouldn’t have debuted with him but did.
Sakuya felt it tangibly for the first time. Reality cracked under his fingers.
New rule. Emergency meeting. Five-member line-up.
The fourth one got chosen. Not Ryo.
Another remained. Higher in the rankings. Not Ryo.
It didn't matter.
Because Sakuya wanted Ryo.
He blinked.
Ryo’s name got called.
He blinked, and the world stopped buzzing. His lungs expanded anew, his blood flooded without poison, his heart beat at a regular pace.
The judges got up and congratulated them. The trainees celebrated. Hugged. Cried. Voices and farewell wishes filled the space around him.
He could only hear his blood pumping to the rhythm of his heartbeats.
Ryo came up to him, relief and happiness etched all over his face. Sakuya couldn’t look at him. His eyes, smile and embrace felt far too real compared to the surreal thing that had just happened.
Couldn’t he see? That Sakuya had just broken space and time for a second, just to mold reality to his liking?
Looking back, it may have been a gift he'd always had.
He'd passed the trainee audition. He'd met Ryo on his first day in Korea and had decided he’d stay by his side no matter what. His sister had been recruited too, but she'd left. Ryo had stayed. They'd gotten into the survival show as the youngest members. While everyone else had been paired with someone they barely knew, they'd stayed together. And now, when Ryo had been about to slip away, Sakuya had held him back.
They were debuting together.
Sakuya had wondered how far he could twist reality with the sole force of his will.
When, less than a year later, they performed their debut song on the very same stage where Sakuya had promised to Ryo they’d stand on one day, shock had turned into understanding.
Sakuya dissected his existence with his own eyes, sowing seeds with a mere thought and watching it come to life a few days later. They won their first win exactly when he was praying for it. The expected rainy weather changed because they had a performance the next day. He grew, rapidly. Gained more and more fans.
If he wanted something hard enough, he’d get it. And as long as he didn't wish for anything selfish, he could persuade himself that he remained a good person.
But there was one singular thing where his greed knew no bounds.
“What are you doing?”
Sakuya pulled his chair loudly. He sat at the table with a hot bowl of ramen and stirred the three singular drops of spicy sauce he'd added to the broth.
Ryo’s eyes were set on his phone. He was typing something. “Texting.”
Sakuya could tell. He blew on his noodles.
“Who?”
“A friend.” Ryo didn’t spare him a glance and just gnawed the toothpick in his mouth. Riku had advised him many times to stop doing that, because if he fell, he could hurt his throat. “He’s coming to Korea tomorrow.”
Sakuya halted. He stared down at his chopsticks.
“Really?” he said flatly. “What friend?”
“You don’t know him,” Ryo replied distractedly. He typed on his phone again. Sakuya’s grip tightened around the chopsticks. “Middle school.”
Sakuya took a bite. He chewed far too strongly for what was required for overcooked wheat noodles.
“Are you meeting up with him?”
Ryo glanced at him. “Yeah.” His eyes went back to his phone. “Of course. ‘Want to come along?”
Sakuya looked at the red dots in his soup. He knew he'd added too little spicy sauce for it to be the reason for his burning throat and stomach.
“No.”
The ramen tasted like cardboard in his mouth.
He finished eating, hungry for something else.
The next morning, they got woken up by the notification sound of Ryo’s phone. It was weird, because it was always on DND, and Sakuya would have cursed him for being the cause of such an early wake up on a day off if he didn’t know what it meant.
Because whatever he wanted, he got.
Ryo reached above him to grab his phone on the night table. Sakuya followed the movement and draped an arm around his waist, naturally finding the hollow of his side there. He listened to the sound of Ryo softly tapping on his phone and caressed the warm skin under his fingers.
“Aw,” Ryo said in a disappointed tone. “My friend’s flight got cancelled. He can’t come.”
Sakuya stared at his freshly awakened face. He observed his disheveled hair, his barely open eyes and his sulky pout. The soft glow of his screen cast a cold light on his features, adding a glint to his pupils and eyelashes. Sakuya’s eyes drifted to his neck and found a faint mark there.
His mouth watered.
“Really?” he replied sleepily. “That’s a shame.”
Ryo looked at him without a word. His eyes were still half-closed, and he looked no more menacing than a puppy with his hair sticking out; but his gaze suddenly seemed too clear.
Sakuya stopped moving. He stared at Ryo with the same intensity.
For a second, he thought Ryo could see right through him.
It happened, sometimes. Ryo looking at him like he had him all figured out.
Admittedly, Sakuya played this game too often. One could say he was trying his luck—but there was no luck to begin with if he got what he wanted every time.
He’d pretend their order hadn’t gone through so they’d walk to the restaurant themselves and spend more time together. He’d mess up the alarm so they’d accidentally spend an hour longer in bed. He’d wish for Ryo to be on the opposite team just so they could compete against each other. He’d wish for Ryo to mess up a choreo part just so he could help and teach him himself. He’d want him so badly that Ryo would be the one urgently pulling him in a closet before the end of the day.
And sometimes, Ryo looked at him like he knew.
But how could he?
How could he know, when Sakuya didn’t want him to?
Ryo’s face suddenly broke into a smile, and the tension dissolved like it had never existed in the first place.
He slumped on Sakuya’s chest with a sigh.
“Yeah,” he muttered. “I guess we’ll do that another time.”
“Hm.”
Sakuya ran a hand through Ryo’s unruly hair to attempt to give it a more decent shape. His other hand stroked his waist, tracing idle circles on his bare skin.
Ryo looked up at him.
“Looks like I have to spend the whole day with you,” he said with a sly smile.
Sakuya smirked back at him. “Yeah?” He switched their positions, trapping him under his body. Ryo looked beautiful like this.
Most importantly, he looked happy.
“You’d like that?”
Ryo pulled him closer for their lips to finally meet. They kissed softly between giggles.
In times like these, Sakuya could pretend that they were normal. That his feelings were pure.
He could pretend that he wasn’t keeping Ryo in a cage.
Sakuya was so used to Ryo always being by his side, always being his—a part of him—that every time the universe ripped him away, it sent him into a wild rage.
Wanting Ryo couldn’t be a regular thing. A background thought. A casual feeling. If Sakuya ever forgot, the world threatened him with what he had to lose.
He'd stared blankly at their manager when, after taking Ryo’s temperature, she'd announced that he had to rest and couldn't attend the awards ceremony with the rest of them. He'd looked down at Ryo with a cold gaze.
Sakuya hoped he hadn’t noticed—he surely hadn’t; he'd been so feverish back then he'd fallen back asleep almost immediately. He'd only been mad at himself. Mad that he'd let his guard down. Mad that he hadn’t wished for Ryo to stay by his side enough.
And now, they were being separated.
Sakuya only texted him twice that day. He hated acting desperate, and he didn’t want Ryo to suspect how much he craved him anyway. He just spent the day burning with anger and keeping a cool front on. He could physically feel every minute ticking away, as if someone was sticking thin needles in his ribs.
He hated acting desperate, and he knew he didn’t need to. He’d have Ryo by the next morning.
He could feel his fingers twitch and his mouth dry up because of how much he missed him. He'd only desired Ryo so badly a few times before, and the universe had never dared to deny him whenever he had.
That was when Sakuya understood that if he faltered, if he took Ryo for granted, if he let him go for a single second—he’d slip away.
He couldn't let that happen.
He’d long stopped pretending that any of the power he exerted on Ryo was ethical.
Bending reality to make him his was one thing, but it wasn’t enough. Even when Ryo’s eyes shone with love and devotion, even when his hands always reached for him first, even when his mouth moaned only his name—it wasn’t enough. Sakuya could wish for the perfect reality, there was only so much hunger that a simple wish could satiate.
Some things could only be stolen with teeth and claws.
He'd wished for Ryo to belong to him; and he did, it was written in his eyes—but Sakuya needed to see the mark himself. Ryo was already docile, but he needed to put him in a cage.
Sakuya had read somewhere that over a certain threshold of wealthiness, the richer the population was, the higher the chances to find deviant behaviors among them. There were many explanations possible, such as wealth conferring an immunity that a poorer person wouldn’t have, or one committing vile crimes just because they had the means to do so.
Another reason was desensitization to regular pleasure. When one could have everything they wanted without breaking a sweat, they started gravitating towards the forbidden. Seek high risk to feel its thrill.
Sakuya didn’t seek risk. It didn’t exist for him.
And despite being aware that no uncertainty existed, he still wanted to eradicate it.
He knew Ryo was already his, and it wasn’t enough.
He had to make sure he’d never leave.
Ryo’s love was already his, because he’d wanted it to be, but he needed to dig between Ryo’s ribs himself and reach and hold his heart.
He knew Ryo’s soul was already his, so he made sure his body was too.
He kissed every inch of his limbs. His tongue learned the patterns that made him cry. He sank his teeth into his sensitive flesh. He held every curve of his body so he could mold a copy in his own mind. He left marks under his jaw, on his chest, below his navel, on his thighs—everywhere he could reach. Everywhere it didn’t matter.
He got into his mind, too.
He offered his heart on a platter, then took it back. He held him while he was inside him to whisper promises that no normal human would be able to keep and that he was definitely able to, but wouldn’t. He gave him everything and pulled away, he built him worlds he’d leave behind, he swore him loyalty then let him doubt. He let Ryo believe he was something uncertain, something he had to seek and earn, something worth endeavor—instead of the one who ruled his world.
He let Ryo think he had to earn his love, as if it hadn’t been the sole thing shaping his existence until now.
One time, Sakuya had broken a light bulb on purpose as they were changing the lights in their room. He'd turned it too far in its hole, held onto it too hard, and it had shattered in his hand. It had cut his palm.
Ryo had rushed over, and Sakuya had stifled an accusation between his teeth. He'd complained earlier and asked for Ryo to do it himself, because he'd never done it before—a lie. Ryo had apologized, removed the glass from his hand with tweezers, disinfected and bandaged his wounds and looked up at him with a sorry look. Sakuya had drunk his guilt like pure ambrosia.
Admittedly, there were times where it caught up to him.
There were times where Ryo looked at him with so much love, with an affection so pure and strong that Sakuya felt like he was being punched in the guts. Ryo’s feelings were so unlike the obsession in Sakuya’s chest that he couldn’t help but wonder what he shouldn’t.
Ryo was so perfect, so exactly like every dream he’d ever had, so his—Sakuya couldn’t help but wonder where his fantasy ended and where Ryo began.
If Sakuya’s power knew no bounds and Ryo was the thing he wanted the most in the world, how much of Ryo had been shaped by Sakuya’s desire? Was any of Ryo’s love for him real?
Was any of Ryo real?
He couldn’t quite describe the feeling that would invade his chest. It wasn’t exactly guilt, because if it were, he’d let Ryo go. It wasn’t grief either, because Ryo was there, alive, safe and sound; but Sakuya sometimes mourned what Ryo could’ve been if the former didn’t have a hand that molded want into reality. It was something Sakuya could only describe as sad, selfish and obsessive.
It’d never be enough to make him give up on Ryo, though.
If anything, it made him want him in a different way. He’d never know if Ryo’s love was real, but no matter how twisted his heart truly was, he’d make sure he deserved it. He’d prove his love to Ryo countless times, over and over again, he’d give him everything he wanted and everything he didn’t know he needed. He’d make him feel so fulfilled, cherished and cared for that even if Sakuya hadn’t shaped his heart, he’d have had no choice but to fall in love with him anyway.
That was why Sakuya took his sweet time with him whenever they had sex.
There was something almost unholy in making amends to Ryo while taking what he coveted the most. He apologized silently as he stole exactly what he was sorry for. He kneeled and repented while the flavor of the forbidden fruit burst on his tongue.
What could he do, when Ryo looked at him like he wanted him to sin anyway?
It wasn’t like it mattered.
It didn’t matter, because Sakuya was God.
Ryo’s breath hitched as Sakuya bit the skin right above his collarbone. His teeth grazed the bone and teased the thin flesh there, like he’d only allow himself to devour where Ryo didn’t have much to give.
His hand slid down Ryo’s torso. The latter pressed his lips together to prevent a moan.
“Fuck—Saku…”
Ryo squirmed, and the sheets rustled with the movement. Sakuya held him down by the hips, getting a whiny noise out of him.
Ryo was still in his jeans, but he didn’t seem to care. Having access to Sakuya’s leg was enough for him. His underwear was peeking out of his unbuttoned pants, and while Sakuya couldn’t see any dark spot due to the lack of light in their room, he'd definitely felt its wetness against his thigh.
But Sakuya wasn’t there for a quick rub off session.
He leaned in and licked into Ryo’s mouth, the latter’s lips parting immediately under his hot tongue. He drank Ryo’s moans and saliva like they were the sweetest nectar in the world. Ryo was so eager and needy—and he was forced to go at Sakuya’s pace as he kissed him slowly and held him down.
Ryo weakly pushed his chest. “Stop teasing me…”
Sakuya smiled. “Shh,” he whispered. He kissed his jaw. “I’ll take care of you.” He gently nibbled there, and Ryo turned his head to grant him more access.
He sucked below his ear, light enough to not leave a hickey. His hands ran along the skin of Ryo’s arms until he found his wrists. He circled their thin bones with two fingers, handling them carefully like they were made out of glass.
Sakuya was well aware that he didn’t need to. Ryo didn’t break. No matter what he did, Ryo never did.
But he wasn’t there to push Ryo.
He was there to repent.
He brought Ryo’s wrists above his head and held them there with a single hand. Ryo had gone limp and soft under him, letting him place him however he wanted. Sakuya knew Ryo wouldn’t try to hump his leg anymore, so he let go of his hip. He held the side of Ryo’s jaw to make him look at him.
A heavy haze already covered Ryo’s eyes. Sakuya gently kissed him.
“I got you, okay?” he whispered against his lips.
Ryo nodded. “Okay.”
“I love you,” Sakuya said, looking him in the eye as he slid a hand in his underwear.
Ryo’s body immediately went tense. He whined when Sakuya pulled him out of his boxers and wrapped a hand around him. Sakuya spread the precum on the length of his dick to ease the slide, savoring each of the noises Ryo failed to hold back just below him.
Ryo’s hands reflexively pushed against him, but he had so little strength it was easy to hold him down. Sakuya rubbed the skin of his wrists to ease the tension under his skin.
He tightened his hold around Ryo’s dick and picked up the pace. He looked down at his work, his mouth watering at the sight of Ryo’s body helplessly squirming under his hand. His legs were getting tangled in the sheets, trapped in the thick fabric of his jeans, bothered by the sweat oozing from his covered skin.
Sakuya showed him mercy and pushed his pants and underwear further down so the fabric would stop rubbing uncomfortably on the underside of his length. He looked up, because as much as watching Ryo flinch in his hand was thrilling, his favorite part was watching his face as he took him apart. Ryo already knew about it, which was why he had his eyes squeezed shut and his face turned to the side. Unable to handle Sakuya’s attention.
Sakuya didn’t hold it against him. He loved when Ryo got embarrassed. He peppered light kisses on the side of his face, blew softly in his ear and watched the shiver that coursed through his whole body.
He let his thumb wander and tease the tip of his dick.
Ryo choked on a whimper. Sakuya held his wrists tighter.
“Are you close?”
Ryo simply nodded, unable to utter a word. His breaths were ragged, interrupted every time he tensed and Sakuya let go of his dick for a split second.
“Look at me.”
Ryo opened his eyes and blinked several times until he managed to focus on Sakuya. He gave him a pleading look, his eyebrows drooping like a kicked puppy. “Please,” he breathed.
Sakuya took him in his hand again. He pressed against his tip and stroked him anew, his hand running up and down with a wet sound. This time, Sakuya let him reach the edge. Ryo’s features twisted in a tortured expression and his eyes squinted under the overwhelming sensation, but he maintained eye contact until he came.
He spilled in Sakuya’s hand with a miserable moan.
Sakuya continued to rub his length as he held him close, whispering praise in his ear and kissing his neck. Ryo relaxed under him when he finally let go of his dick, his limps going completely slack. A trembling sigh escaped his mouth, like Sakuya had been exactly the relief he needed.
Like Sakuya didn’t need more.
Like Sakuya wouldn’t take more.
Sakuya was well aware that he was a carnivorous predator and that Ryo was a prey he'd just convinced was safe with him. He'd persuaded him that being devoured meant being loved. He'd made him love him, so Sakuya could keep him trapped and eat him away.
I’m sorry, Sakuya swore with each of the kisses he laid on his shoulder. I love you and I’m sorry I do, he promised with each of the caresses that brushed his fragile skin.
Ryo’s hand found Sakuya’s hair as he went down his torso. He licked Ryo’s cum off of his stomach then looked up at him as he suckled on his spent dick. Ryo averted his eyes and jerked in his mouth, a sharp breath slipping past his lips. His hand tightened in Sakuya’s hair.
Sakuya welcomed the pain like a blessing.
He pulled off when a pained whimper escaped Ryo’s mouth. He kissed his navel as a silent apology and a love promise.
He took off the rest of Ryo's clothes entirely, grabbed his limp legs and bent them at the knee to make more room for himself between them. He fumbled with the rumpled sheets until he reached between the mattress and the wall to grab the lube.
He squeezed a good amount in his hand and rubbed it between his fingers to warm it up. He leaned down to capture Ryo’s lips in the meantime. The latter draped his arms around his shoulders and licked his lips, so Sakuya happily let him deepen their kiss.
Once he deemed the lube warm enough, he made sure Ryo’s legs were parted enough with his thumb, then pressed a wet finger to his entrance. He rubbed the skin there, making sure Ryo’s body got used to his presence. Funnily enough, Ryo seemed to be as hungry as him, because Sakuya was focusing more on what his hand was doing than his lips, and Ryo was happily claiming his slack mouth.
Ryo would also soon stop focusing on kissing him.
Sakuya adjusted his leg so it would block Ryo’s thigh and slowly inserted a finger. As expected, Ryo whined and parted from him. Instead, his eyebrows knit and his nails dug in Sakuya’s shoulder.
“‘That okay?” Sakuya asked, attentively observing Ryo’s face.
“Yeah,” he nodded. “Go deeper…”
Sakuya smiled and kissed his cheek. He pushed further into Ryo’s heat. Ryo moaned again, the sound going straight to Sakuya’s dick. His boner was becoming particularly painful, still trapped under two layers of clothes.
He curled his finger, and it only took him a few seconds to find the spot he was looking for. Ryo jolted and clawed at Sakuya’s back as his body tensed.
“There—”
Sakuya kissed his cheek. “I know, I know,” he said as he slowly thrust his finger and pressed against that particular spot again.
Ryo whined when he inserted a second finger.
Sakuya watched him melt, tension easing out of his body as he pleasured him. If Sakuya wasn’t close enough, Ryo’s arms would probably have certainly slid off his shoulders. He didn’t have enough strength left to hold back his noises or avoid his gaze anymore. He looked at Sakuya with hazy eyes while his fingers punched whimpers out of him.
When Ryo’s body started flinching again, Sakuya made his thrusts more shallow to focus on his prostate. He dove to his neck and sucked right above his collarbone, occasionally biting on the skin.
Ryo squirmed helplessly. “Ah, harder, please…”
Sakuya complied. And because he knew Ryo by heart, he captured his mouth right as he fell apart on his fingers.
This time, Ryo came quietly. His breath stuttering was the only sound he made against Sakuya’s lips.
Sakuya pulled his fingers out slowly and sat back between Ryo’s legs, letting him ride the end of his orgasm. He rubbed soothing circles on his legs and kissed his thigh. He never risked overstimulation once Ryo had come more than once.
“Saku…” Ryo whined with a slurred voice.
“Hm?”
Ryo looked at him with a heavy half-lidded gaze. “Need you. Inside.”
Sakuya went still for a second. “You sure?”
This wasn’t supposed to be about him.
He could blow Ryo, suck on his nipples or finger him again if he wanted to, but this wasn’t about him. He’d just jerk off in the bathroom or right there if Ryo wanted to watch, and he’d wrap Ryo in his arms right before he fell asleep.
He’d taken enough. He didn’t need Ryo to give him more.
Not today.
But Ryo whined and grabbed his wrist to tug at his arm. Sakuya couldn’t possibly refuse him.
“Okay,” he gave in.
He laid a kiss on Ryo's knee and pulled down his sweatpants and boxers altogether.
He hissed when he got a hand around his hard cock. He stroked his sensitive length a few times, more to watch Ryo’s face as he was doing it than to pleasure himself. Ryo stared intensely at his dick and imperceptibly scooted down on the bed.
He was so perfect for Sakuya.
Sakuya leaned over him to get closer and press his cock to his hole. He took a deep breath as he teased his tip against his entrance, a shiver running down his spine at the stimulation. Ryo’s hips moved under him, impatient, so Sakuya lowered a hand to keep him still.
Air got punched out of his lungs as he finally slipped in. His arm faltered, and he fell onto his elbow next to Ryo’s head.
“Hm, Sakuya…” Ryo sighed.
Sakuya pushed further and breathed deeply, earning a whimper from Ryo.
His cock suddenly being surrounded by heat was making him lose his mind at a rapid pace. Ryo’s pale flesh laid before his eyes—a blank canvas he wished to ruin with bloody red. He sank his teeth in his own lip instead, squeezing his eyes shut for a brief second for the vision to disappear.
Ryo pulled him in and kissed the corner of his mouth. Sakuya heaved out a sigh and pulled out a few inches, then thrust back in. Ryo wasn’t trying to be quiet anymore.
Sakuya fucked him slowly, tenderly, observing every shift and twist on Ryo’s face to adjust to him. He stroked the skin of his thigh and made sure his legs weren't too far apart. Sakuya wasn’t nearly buried enough, but he was hitting Ryo’s prostate just fine, so it didn’t matter.
When Ryo opened his eyes and looked at him with a soft smile, lost in bliss, Sakuya’s heart swelled with pride. This was what he wanted the most—what he was doing it all for.
Ryo’s pure, raw and unfiltered love.
The latter reached out to hold Sakuya’s face. A melodic laugh slipped past his lips. “What’s gotten into you? You’re being so gentle today.”
A pang of guilt pierced Sakuya’s heart.
He stared down at Ryo with a long look.
“You deserve it,” he said with a deeper thrust.
Ryo’s breath hitched when Sakuya’s dick pressed on his prostate again. He gripped Sakuya’s shoulder tighter, then let go. His hand drifted to Sakuya’s nape to pull him down. He followed.
Just as Sakuya thought they were going to kiss, Ryo turned his head to whisper in his ear.
“Do you think I don’t know what you’re doing?”
Sakuya stilled. He pulled away slightly, just enough to meet Ryo’s eyes again.
“What?”
Ryo smiled again. He stroked the side of Sakuya’s face.
“What is it? Are you feeling guilty?”
Sakuya’s heart skipped a beat.
He looked down at Ryo with a confused gaze, fear choking him up.
“What do you mean?” he frowned.
“Come on,” Ryo said with a whine. “Take what you want.” He took Sakuya’s hands to place them on his waist. “Take me. I’m all yours.”
“What do—fuck, Ryo,” Sakuya choked when Ryo wrapped his legs around him and pulled him in deeper. A jolt of pleasure coursed through his veins, and he reflexively thrust in response to Ryo’s initiative. He hid his face in the crook of his neck with a shaky sigh.
His blood was still boiling with desire and hunger. He breathed in Ryo’s scent and slowly started fucking him again, now pressing to the hilt with every thrust. “Is that what you want?” he said between ragged breaths.
Ryo repressed a moan and just hummed. “Is that what you want?”
Sakuya raised his head back up. “What are you—”
Ryo cut him off by pushing his shoulder with an unexpected strength. Sakuya fell on his back, and Ryo straddled him immediately.
“Ryo, what the fuck—”
He groaned when Ryo reached to take his cock and put it back inside. Sakuya grabbed his waist to prevent him from sinking all the way. His jaw clenched as Ryo’s heat wrapped around him again.
Ryo looked down at him with dark, needy eyes. “Saku…” he whined, and placed his delicate fingers over Sakuya’s. One by one, he removed them from his waist and moved Sakuya’s loose hold to his hips.
Sakuya saw stars when Ryo fully sat on his cock.
Ryo rolled his hips, and Sakuya couldn’t help but moan. He accompanied his next move with his hands, guiding him in a slow thrust. He relieved some of Ryo’s weight when he started moving his hips up and down.
Ryo’s torso was glistening with sweat. His dark hair was all over the place, wet strands sticking to his forehead and peeking out of his nape. He was breathing fast, whimpering every time Sakuya’s cock hit his sensitive spot. His face was twisted by pleasure and pain—because he'd already come twice.
Sakuya was so fucking close.
As soon as he realized it, it was like Ryo felt it too.
He glanced at him, breathless, lips parted. “Sakuya…” he leaned in, placing his fingers on Sakuya’s tense stomach. “Please take me. Stop feeling bad.” Ryo took his face in his hand. “I made you mine, too.”
Sakuya frowned, lost in pleasure. “What—”
Ryo silenced him with a kiss. Sakuya groaned as Ryo licked into his mouth and squeezed his dick tighter. He couldn’t hold back forever. He kissed Ryo back with fervor and grabbed his hips to thrust a few last times into him.
Sakuya moaned against Ryo’s lips when he came, burying himself deep inside. He hoped his hands would leave marks on his hips.
They flopped onto their side, every ounce of strength leaving Sakuya’s body as the tension released. He naturally found the crook of Ryo’s neck, staying there as he savored the aftermath of his orgasm. He felt thirsty; but he'd quenched what mattered the most.
He let his breathing slow down and didn't move for a few more seconds before propping himself up on one elbow. He gazed at Ryo with a long look.
Ryo looked—fucked out, shortly. His hair fell around his sweaty face like a dark halo and a slight blush sat high on his cheeks. His chest was still heaving with quick breaths. He looked at Sakuya with tired, half-lidded eyes—but there it was, again.
His gaze looked too clear.
Sakuya stared at him.
“Ryo.”
Ryo gave him a lazy smile. “Hm.”
Sakuya laid there, still. The silence felt suffocating around them.
Every word his brain suggested was too heavy on his tongue.
“Do you know?” he just said.
Ryo didn't move for a while. He just stared at Sakuya, adoration in his eyes.
“Yes.”
Sakuya’s blood froze.
He could see it in Ryo’s eyes—he knew what he was talking about.
All of it. He meant he knew all of it.
Sakuya blinked, lost. He couldn’t wrap his head around how that was possible. Had he—inadvertently wished for Ryo to find out?
He could feel a vise slowly tighten around his throat.
“Since when?” he asked, dumbstruck.
Ryo breathed calmly. “I always did.”
Sakuya looked at him with astonishment. “How?”
Ryo raised a hand to stroke Sakuya’s cheek, then delicately brushed a strand of hair behind his ear. “Saku… Did you really think you had had this blessing forever?”
He frowned. The gears in his head turned, weaving together childhood memories, sleepless nights and recent events.
It had been so long since he'd questioned anything about what had become as normal as the sun rising and setting.
“I don’t know,” he said truthfully, wary. “I’d say it truly started when I came to Korea.”
Ryo smiled softly. “It started when you met me, Sakuya.”
Sakuya’s breath got stuck in his lungs. He played back memories, tried to find a flaw, a crack—but Ryo was right.
“I know you wished for me to be yours,” Ryo continued with a serious look. “Do you think you’re the only one who can wish for that?”
Sakuya stayed silent for a while.
“You have it too,” he said calmly. Not a question.
Ryo nodded. His eyes glowed with the soft light of the room.
“On the day we met, I wished for you to have everything you wanted.”
Sakuya’s brain didn't register Ryo’s words right away.
Then, it finally clicked.
His eyes widened.
“I have it because of you,” he breathed out.
Ryo gave him a gentle smile. “Yeah.”
Sakuya looked down at him quietly for a while. Then, he leaned in slowly and pressed his lips to Ryo's—addressing a silent prayer. Ryo kissed him back softly.
Sakuya put his forehead against Ryo’s with a sigh. “I’ve been selfish with it.” He already knew Ryo hadn’t. He would've noticed, if he had.
Even in the way he'd offered Sakuya his love, he'd been selfless.
“I know,” Ryo said as he wrapped his arms around his shoulders. “But even in your selfishness, I was always included. I’m glad.”
Sakuya shifted and nuzzled into Ryo’s neck, letting him hold him closer.
“I tried breaking you,” he confessed.
“Yeah.” Sakuya could hear the amusement in his voice. “Two can play that game, Sakuya.”
He smiled. “I love you,” he whispered as he kissed Ryo’s jaw.
It was messed up. Maybe, ever since the beginning, Ryo was the one who had made him that way. Maybe Ryo had had his heart too far on his sleeve and he'd given too much power to a boy he only had a crush on, and was now stuck with a lifelong passion that would never run out.
Sakuya didn’t care. He didn’t care who had been the first one to cross the unethical barrier and fuck up their feelings. He didn’t care that their respective loves had fed onto one another until it turned into obsession. He didn’t care that none of it may be real.
Because Ryo was God, and he’d made Sakuya too along the way.
They could make real whatever they wanted.