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Lin leaned back in his chair, not saying a word. He watched as Seol frantically moved around her dressing room. She had to be out on stage in less than ten minutes, and she was clearly on edge. She cycled between her vanity, her closet, and pacing in front of him.
He watched her check her makeup, look through outfits, and then complain about her manager. Her voice was strained by the time she reached her vanity. He knew it was best not to interrupt her process. This was not an unusual ritual for them before she had to perform. This time, though, he frowned as she took a big gulp of water at her vanity.
Her voice had sounded a little strained. Not unusual when complaining about him, I’m sure she’s fine.
He didn’t voice his concern. He rarely said anything this close to her performing. She didn’t need him to distract or try to comfort. That never helped. She was doing what worked best for her, and he wasn’t going to risk making anything worse.
He knew if she really needed his help, she would make it obvious. She would ask if she needed it. Surely she would, right?
He flexed his fingers as she checked her makeup. She looked as perfect as she always does. He had made the mistake early in their relationship, telling her he prefers her without makeup… after she had spent 45 minutes getting ready for their date. It hadn’t clicked in his head that she would prefer he reassure her that she looks good after all the effort she'd put in.
He stayed seated as she made a minor adjustment to her eyeliner. He could hear someone talking right outside the door. He ignored the distraction, keeping his attention on Seol as she kept looking at herself in the mirror.
She started doing some vocal warm-up as she walked over to her closet again. As her voice got higher in pitch, she had to stop to clear her throat. She let out a quiet cough that made his heart leap. He chewed the inside of his cheek but kept quiet.
She's never done something like that, surely it's nothing.
As she cleared her throat, her manager barged in. Lin frowned automatically upon seeing the light shine off his balding head. He left the door open and closed in on her.
“Show starts in five, Luna.” Lin clenched his fists as he started talking at her, “I promised reporters you’d speak to them afterward, and you’re ready to perform that unreleased track, right?”
He took a breath and kept going, “Great. Your outfit looks good, but maybe next time we should go for something more exciting?”
Seol frowned, “I was gonna try to see some fans after the show, not talk to paparazzi.”
Her manager scoffed as Lin clenched his teeth, “Surely you can do both, but one is more important than the other.”
Seol looked like she was going to protest, but he was already walking away. Once he reached the door, he turned back, “Almost time to get moving.”
He walked out, leaving the door open. Seol’s shoulders slumped as she turned back to the mirror. Lin was quick to head to the door and shut it, muffling the outside noise.
He walked towards her as she put her head in her hands. He exhaled through his nose and leaned down, resting his chin on her shoulder. He gently wrapped his arms around her and pressed a kiss to her temple.
She pulled her hands away and sighed, staring at herself in the mirror. His heart ached at the defeated sigh she let out.
He tilted her chin towards him with a finger, encouraging her to look at him rather than her reflection. When they locked eyes, he smiled softly, “Hey.”
She chewed her bottom lip and didn’t reply.
He continued, “You know what I see?”
Her glassy eyes met his, but she kept quiet.
He kept his gaze firm. “I see the prettiest girl in the room…”
She rolled her eyes, “Lin…”
He kept going, “...who always gives everything her all.”
She gave him a small smile, her eyes still shining in the lights of her vanity.
“...I’m the only girl in this room.”
His cheeks felt hot, and his eyes went wide. He spluttered out, “What I meant-”
She cut him off with a kiss on the cheek, her hand cupping his cheek. She gave him a warmer smile. “Thank you, Lin.” She cleared her throat. “I’m lucky to have you.”
He smiled and leaned closer, resting his forehead on hers. Their lips molded together for a quick kiss, drawn to each other like magnets.
She pulled away and said, “I should get out there.”
Neither of them moved. Not wanting to end the moment, the silence stretched for a moment too long before she finally pulled away
He gave her a smile. “I’ll wait for you here.” The tension in her shoulders lifted.
She nodded slowly, pulling away properly. He watched her walk to the door, but she paused when she got to it.
Turning towards him, she added, “I wanna get ice cream afterward.”
He gave her a mock salute, “Yes, ma’am.”
She chuckled and walked out, shutting the door with a click.
He was now left alone in her dressing room.
He didn’t move for a little while, the warmth of her fading from his skin. He sighed and moved back to the spot on the couch he had sat earlier.
He grabbed the remote and turned on the TV that was mounted to the wall. He never turned it on when Seol was getting ready, never wanting to give her unnecessary distractions.
He changed the input, so it showed him the stage's camera feed. It was still dark and empty.
He could feel a hint of uncertainty low in his chest. He wasn’t sure what was making him nervous about this concert. Seol is a machine on stage. He’s never seen her make any kind of mistake.
He shook his head. I’m being ridiculous.
After a minute or so of waiting, the show started.
Seol emerged from a rising platform that was a part of the stage, with bright spotlights all centered on her. He could hear the crowd screaming from the screen and through the walls.
He had a stupid smile on his face as she started singing. She made it through the first song perfectly, and the crowd was losing their minds.
He could hear people screaming the lyrics back to Seol.
During the next song, background dancers emerged from backstage and danced in unison with her. He started humming along as she remained absolutely perfect.
Song two flowed seamlessly into the third. She barely had time to take a breath before continuing the next verse. With no breathing room, he could tell her voice was starting to get a little strained. It was barely noticeable. Hopefully the crowd wouldn’t pick up on it.
He leaned forward in his seat as she showed no signs of slowing down. When there was finally a break for her voice, she moved flawlessly with her dancers further backstage.
He let out a breath when he saw her grab a water bottle and take a quick drink from it.
Reasonable to need some water after such intensive singing.
Seconds later, she was confidently walking back down the walkway, singing and dancing.
His nerves fade as she makes it through the rest of the song with no more vocal issues.
She really is flawless.
He’s back to nodding along as she continues the show. He watches elaborate choreography, dramatic lighting, and some brief pyrotechnics.
The concert is about halfway done when Seol gets to her “unreleased track”. Lin could tell from the crowd reaction alone that this was new.
The loud cheering and screaming didn’t drown out Seol, though. Her voice rang loud and clear throughout the arena. The music swelled beautifully as she held the final note, going higher and higher.
Her voice cut off.
The lights went out, and everything went silent.
He took a breath.
Then the crowd started cheering loudly, and Lin found himself with an ear-to-ear grin.
Only, when the lights came back on, something was clearly wrong.
Seol had the microphone to her mouth. She opened her mouth to sing, and nothing came out.
She froze as he shot out of his chair. His heart pounded as she tried to sing again.
Silence.
The crowd let out another round of cheers, thinking she was pausing for dramatic effect.
He could see panic setting in. Her eyes went wide, and she started frantically looking around. Eyes darting to the crowd and then to her dancers.
“No…no no no.”
He was inches away from the TV screen. He didn’t even remember crossing the room.
She turned and ran past her dancers and quickly slipped backstage as he ran out of her dressing room.
Stagehands and technicians blurred past him as he ran to her. His heartbeat pounded in his ears. He could barely hear the disgruntled crowd.
He saw her.
Tears were streaming down her face, and her manager was hot on her heels. They slammed into each other, quickly wrapping their arms tight around each other.
“It’s ok, you're ok, it's ok…”
He whispered into her ear as she clung to him like a lifeline. She let out a quiet sob into his ear.
She gasped and sniffled before saying, “I can’t-my voice…”
His hand found the back of her head to hold her steady. He murmured back, “I’ve got you.”
He wasn’t sure what to say, how to fix this. He couldn’t just make her better. He could be here for her, so that’s what he would do. Always.
“What’s wrong? Can we get her back out there? The show isn’t over.” Her manager's voice cut in, rude and demanding.
Lin grit his teeth. I can tell him to fuck off.
“You’re not helping, ok? Give us a moment.” He gave him a tight smile and started guiding Seol towards her dressing room.
“Tell her to get her act together. She has a responsibility to finish this show.” His tone was making his blood boil, but getting angry would do nothing to help Seol. That would always be more important.
So he kept walking with her, eventually ending up back at the door he had left wide open. He quickly shut and locked it, moving her towards her vanity so she could sit down. He tensed when he heard the TV still on, the crowd's unhappy sounds coming through.
He quickly grabbed the remote and shut it off. He knelt down in front of her, who was slumped over in her seat and crying.
He took a deep breath and reached for her hands. She was quick to accept his touch, interlacing their fingers and squeezing his hands tight.
She looked up at him, eyes overflowing with tears. “What…do I do?” She sniffled, her voice barely above a whisper.
His heart ached at how broken she sounded. He gave her hands a reassuring squeeze. “I don’t-I don’t know, Seol.”
His eyes were glassy when she let out another sob. She wiped her eyes on her shoulder, not letting his hands go. She asked, “What-what do I tell my fans?”
He took a moment to respond. Their eyes locked.
What would I do if I were her?
“I would just tell them the truth. It’s out of your control, Seol.”
She squeezed her eyes shut, fresh tears streaming down her cheeks. She gasped, “I wish…I could control it.”
He watched her swallow thickly, wincing from the effort.
He racked his brain for anything he could do.
His eyes drifted to the ice pendant hanging from her necklace.
Wait…
“...your ice? Could it…?”
He left the rest unsaid as her eyes went wide. “I’m so-stupid.”
“You’re not stupid.”
His response was instinctual.
She disconnected their hands and rested her hands on her throat. He held his breath as ice formed in a thin layer under her fingers.
He gave her knee a squeeze as it melted away.
She took a deep breath. “How-how do I sound?”
She slumped forward as her voice rasped still, slightly better but in no shape to sing.
His eyes stung, but he reached for her hands again.
She frowned, “Why-why didn’t that work?”
He gave her hand a squeeze.
He didn’t speak for a moment.
“Maybe…maybe some things just need rest.”
She wiped her eyes and sighed, “I should-I should go tell them. I can’t perform.”
His eyes widened. He asked, “Do you want me to do it?”
“They deserve to hear it from me. I’ll… refund their tickets-as well.”
He smiled. “I think that’s a great idea.”
She nodded slowly. “I don’t want to keep them waiting any longer.”
With one last look, she turned and walked out.
“I’ll wait for you here.”
It came out before he could even think about it, but she looked back and smiled all the same.
The door clicked shut behind her, and he let out a breath. His heart was pounding in his ears. He quickly moved to the TV and turned it back on.
After a few moments of pacing in front of the screen, she walked back out on stage. The crowd cheered, but Seol’s expression remained somewhat sad.
He muttered to himself, “You got this, I know you do.”
She raised the mic to her mouth and sighed. She said, “I…I lost my voice during that last song.”
The crowd erupted with sounds of confused shouts and disappointed groans. Lin clenched his fists.
But she continued.
“I-I can’t do the rest of the show for you guys. I don’t-I don’t want to lip-sync the rest. That would be a disservice to you all who came for and paid for a proper show.”
He could see her flinch from the shouting coming from the crowd, but she didn’t stop.
“I’m refunding everyone’s tickets, and I’m-” She cleared her throat, “-I’m so sorry I let you guys down…I…I…I’m sorry.”
He could see her eyes getting glassy as her arm dropped to her side. He could see a few girls in the front making hearts with their hands. She squeezed her eyes shut and dropped the microphone.
As she disappeared off stage, he was already halfway to the door. He ran out and towards her.
They collided together just as they did before. Arms wrapped tight, with him quietly reassuring her in a low voice.
She mumbled into his ear, “Can we still get ice cream?”
“Absolutely.”
After a few more moments in each other’s embrace, they broke apart. Finally noticing all the eyes on them from the production crew and her manager.
“Come on, let's go home.”
He didn’t check to make sure that was OK before wrapping an arm around her waist and walking with her to an exit.
He distantly heard her manager, “Get me a phone, I need to call off the press.”
She leaned against his side as they got closer to their car.
She mumbled against his shoulder, “Do you think I did the right thing?”
He nodded immediately. “Of course. You respect them enough to keep it real.”
She sniffled, “It didn't feel good to do.”
They were almost at their car.
He rubbed her side. “You know what will feel good? Some ice cream and some sleep.”
She nodded as he opened the passenger side door for her. He gently shut the door after she slipped inside. He quickly got into his own seat. He started the car, put on his seatbelt, and drove them out of there.
The drive home wasn’t very long, and he did stop by a place to get them ice cream. He could only hope her favorite flavor would cheer her up.
When he pulled into the parking lot, he glanced at her. She was leaning against her window, staring out. Her arms were wrapped around herself, and he could hear her quietly sniffling. He pulled into a parking spot. She wouldn’t want to go through the drive-through and risk someone recognizing her.
He gave her knee a gentle squeeze as he stepped out of the car to go inside. He ordered them both a cup of their favorites, mint chocolate chip for her and maple for him.
When he got back in the car, he held out her cup for her. She slowly reached out and grabbed it. She mumbled, “Sorry I didn’t tell you what I wanted.”
He raised a brow, “You always get the same flavor.”
She paused when she looked inside the cup. “You’re so sweet.”
He gave her knee a gentle squeeze as he set his ice cream down in a cupholder. He backed out of the parking spot and drove out.
The rest of the drive was short. By the time they made it up to her apartment, she had eaten half of hers. He took a few bites before he went into the bathroom. He turned on the shower, laid down a towel in front of the sliding glass door, and set out a folded towel on the counter.
He walked back into the kitchen where Seol was leaning over the counter, eating her ice cream. He walked behind her and gently wrapped his arms around her waist. She immediately leaned back into him, her shoulders pressing into his chest.
He rested his chin on her shoulder and pressed a kiss into her cheek. She let out a content sigh and melted into his arms. She left her ice cream on the counter and put her hands on his.
They stayed like that for a few minutes. Enjoying being close to each other with no eyes on them. He could feel the tension leave her shoulders as he pressed another kiss to her temple.
He gently asked, “Do you wanna take a shower? I got one started for you.”
She nodded slowly. “Would you mind joining me in the shower?”
She looked back at him, a slight sparkle in her eye. Her voice still sounded a bit weak but hopeful. He could never say no to her.
He smirked playfully, “If you’re gonna make me.”
She smiled, a soft, genuine smile that made his heart melt. They both leaned closer, meeting in the middle. Their lips met as she kissed him, both of them taking their time to savor the moment. His hand cupped her cheek as hers tangled in the back of his hair.
Their kisses were slow and gentle. His lips were chapped and rough while hers were soft and warm. There wasn’t an inch of space between them, his arm firmly around her waist and her smaller frame tucked against his broader one.
His heart rate picked up as their kisses grew more urgent and desperate. Her hand ran down the expanse of his back as her tongue pressed between his lips. He let out a gasp, and his eyes shot open as her hand dug into his backside.
He let her lead now, yielding control over to the love of his life. She walked forward, and his back knocked into a wall. A low groan rumbled out of his throat as her grip on his hair got tighter.
Her tongue pushed further in his mouth as her knee pushed between his legs. He whimpered as her thigh pressed against his bulge.
After another moment locked in a heated kiss, they broke away, gasping for air. Their foreheads rested against each other as they caught their breath. He gently ran a hand up her back while her hand rested on his butt.
Their eyes met, and she gave him a smirk. She asked, “We should-probably get in the shower.”
He nodded eagerly, “Yes, ma’am.”
They didn’t move, though, so he continued, “When we’re done, we can watch your favorite show, sound good?”
She nodded and pulled him towards the bathroom, now covered in hot steam. They quickly stripped off their clothes and got in together.
When they got out, both of them felt the similarly pleasant ache of exhaustion. Both were wearing marks on their skin from the other. They got dressed. He put on some pink pajama pants and a plain T-shirt.
Seol put on her own pair of pink pants and stole one of his shirts to wear. It was at least 2 sizes too big and went down to her thighs, but she was happy, so he was happy.
As they sat down on the couch together, she snuggled into his side. She rested her chin on his shoulder as he navigated the TV to find her show.
She mumbled into his ear, “Thank you… for everything today. But that really…um, I needed something to wear me out. To stop me from thinking about what happened earlier.”
He turned to look at her properly. Her blue and brown eyes were half-lidded. Clearly he had done a good job. He smiled, “Did it work?”
She blushed and nodded slowly. “I really needed something to make today better, and you always know how to do that with me.”
He leaned in and kissed her. Their lips met briefly and gently. He pulled away and grabbed her hand with his free one, giving it a squeeze. “I can’t have you forgetting that I love you.”
A big smile broke out on her face. “You're so sweet, Lin.”
He turned back to the TV. Finding her show after a little more looking.
She tapped his legs.
He smiled. He knew what she wanted. He lay down on his side as she stood, making room for her in front of him.
She lay down in front of him, her back against his chest and her hips against his. As he turned on the next episode, she looked back at him.
“I love you.”
His heart swelled, and he had an ear-to-ear smile before he knew it. He wrapped his arms around her midsection.
“I love you too.”
They both turned their attention to the TV. Her head leaned back into his chest as he got surprisingly invested in this show. Thirty minutes blew by, and when he looked back down at Seol, she had shifted her body towards him.
Her face was resting against his chest, and she was asleep. Her soft snores made him smile.
He pulled her closer and settled in, not wanting to be anywhere but here with her.