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Penelope woke up and looked out the window onto the Bloomsbury street as she did every morning as she opened her eyes. No matter in what position she fell asleep, when she woke she was always on her side facing out the window. She wondered, sadly, if it was perhaps because even in sleep she knew she did not want to look at the empty place in the bed where Colin was supposed to be, even though he had never slept there.
Her limbs were still heavy and thick with sleep. In fact she felt much heavier and thicker than usual. She could barely move.
She could bear no more of this. Colin sleeping on the settee outside their bedchamber was far more excruciating than if he had gone to another room, or left the house altogether. He was so close. There must be a part of him that still wanted her, still cared for her. There must! And yet night after night he stayed away as she longed for him.
Penelope was just starting to try to stand up, to go in to where Colin was sleeping and beg him to forgive her, to drag him into their bed, when she heard a low grumble in her ear. She felt herself squeezed suddenly, her back up against something warm and solid and comforting. She realized she was naked.
“Stop wriggling, Pen,” her husband’s voice growled in her ear. “I am not ready for you to go.”
Penelope’s breath caught. She had thought she had dreamed it. But no, it was all quite real. Her sisters’ ball had gone off perfectly, the Queen had accepted her, Colin had forgiven her. He said he loved her. He had held her and danced with her in front of everyone, and they had all known everything about who she was and they did not turn their backs on them.
And then she remembered the ride home, how he had sunk to his knees in front of her in the carriage, kissed everywhere he could reach, started pushing up her skirt when the footmen announced their arrival home.
Then he had pulled her from the carriage and dragged her upstairs and they had made love all night, sleeping and waking and finding each other again before finally collapsing in exhaustion.
And now he was here, holding her from behind as they had slept, his whole body curved around hers, enveloping her. Penelope almost wanted to weep from joy and relief. She had imagined so many things in her years of loving him, and even more in the weeks of knowing that he loved her as well. She had imagined him kissing her and touching her and holding her and thrusting himself deep inside her. But she had never in her wildest dreams imagined that he would snuggle up to her in his sleep, holding her like she was precious, like she was the only thing in the world he could not live without.
“Colin,” she said, reaching up and running her fingers through his hair. “You’re here.”
“Of course I’m here,” he said, his voice still low in her ear. “I could never keep myself out of your bed again.”
“Our bed,” she corrected.
He cuddled into her even tighter. “Our bed. Yes.”
He unwrapped one of his arms from around her waist and brushed his fingertips up her back, making her shiver. He brushed her hair away from her neck and back, gently running his fingers through it until it was all out of his way, and then he brushed his lips against the back of her neck. Penelope trembled at the sensations of the lightness of his touch, and she rolled her body back into him, trying to get as close to him as she possibly could.
But when she pressed her hips back into his, she felt all of a sudden that he was hard, that his manhood was nestled in the seam of her core. When she moved she felt his length slide along her body, and she realized that she was wet and leaking on him. She must have felt him in her sleep. Even unconscious, she knew his touch and wanted him.
She squirmed in his arms, trying to roll over to wrap her arms around him and pull him to her, but his hand dropped firmly to her hip and he held her where she was. “Please just stay here like this, Pen,” he murmured into her skin. “You feel so good right here like this.”
“Colin…” she whispered. She wanted to hold him, but he was dragging his lips down her spine and the trembly feeling spread across all of her. She laced her fingers through his and held as still as she could, breathing hard.
She let him kiss shivery feelings all the way down her spine and then back up again. He moved so slowly, as though luxuriating in the feel of her skin. She felt tears prick the corners of her eyes as she kept looking out the window into the warm, softly sunny morning. He was holding her, kissing her, loving her. She could feel how he loved her everywhere his skin was touching hers.
He was softly pressing against her with his hips as he kept kissing over and over the expanse of her back. She could feel how close he was to being inside her, and though he had told her he wanted her to hold still, she could not help but rut her hips back toward his shaft, spreading her legs.
He groaned, holding her tighter. “Hold still, love.”
“I…I want…” She felt her voice stop in her throat. She wanted him so badly.
He waited for her to finish speaking for a moment, still kissing her back, over her shoulders. When she did not, could not, he squeezed her to him a little tighter. “What do you want, Pen?” She just shook her head, too embarrassed to say, and rocked her hips back into him again. He hummed into the crook of her neck and she shivered. “Do you want me inside you?”
“Yes,” she whimpered.
He hummed again, and it was a low, pleased, rumbling sound. It made her core clench around nothing.
“Just wait,” he growled. He rubbed his length a little harder along the seam of her sex. She grasped his hand hard. “Get me wet first. I can feel you dripping on me.”
Penelope heard a mortified little whine escape her, and she squirmed in his arms, though she kept rocking her hips back against him, getting him wet with her arousal, like he said.
Colin just nuzzled his face against her neck, kissing her again. She could feel him smiling against her skin. “It feels so good, Penelope.”
“It…it does?” she whispered. “It is not…strange, that I am wet there?”
“No,” he chuckled, but she did not feel like he was teasing her. “It means you want me. It means your body wants me to take you, wants me to ease myself inside you. Is that what you want, Pen?”
“You know it is,” she said, and she could hear the frustration in her own voice. He was still not pressing inside her. He was just rubbing up and down against her. The end of his shaft sometimes rubbed against the little pearl at the top of her opening, smearing wetness all along her, making her shudder with pleasure and want. “Please.”
He did not answer. He just kept rubbing against her, almost as though testing to see if she could bear it to wait for him as he told her to. He unlaced his fingers from hers and ran them heavily up and down her body, gripping her thighs, cupping and tweaking her breasts, petting her belly. She moaned and trembled and squirmed herself closer to him, but she let him touch her however he liked. He went back to kissing along her neck and shoulders, across her back, as his hands touched and felt and explored her.
“You’re so beautiful, Pen,” he murmured against her skin between kisses.
“You…you can’t even see me from back there,” she whimpered, his thumbs rolling over her nipples. “Please let me roll over so you can take me.”
“I can feel you,” he said quietly. His hands stroked ever curve, every hill and swell of her. The touch of his hands was so perfect, so firm and yet gentle. She had never felt so vulnerable or cherished in her life. “All I need to do is feel you.”
“Colin, please…”
“And I don’t need to roll you over,” he growled in her ear. She felt him shift his hips, positioning them differently. She felt the end of his shaft up against her. “I’m going to take you right like this.”
He pressed down into her hip firmly and thrust his hips up, slowly but constantly. She could feel her core opening up around him, stretching to accommodate him. It was overwhelming, the feeling of him taking her. She felt herself moaning and her back arching. He felt bigger like this, somehow, and her body shook.
“Are you all right?” he murmured gently in her ear. His fingertips were still soothing over her.
“Y—yes,” she said. “I feel…so full up…”
“Do you want me to stop?” he said, pulling back slightly. “Does it hurt?”
“No…not hurt,” she said, truthfully. She felt stretched as wide as she could be, but it did not hurt. It felt wonderful. “It’s so good, I just…didn’t know you could…from behind me…”
Colin hugged her to him. “Oh, yes. There are so many ways I’m going to have you, wife.” She could feel his touch becoming desperate. “Are you ready? Can I—”
“Yes,” she said at once, though she knew her voice sounded choked. “Yes, I’m ready.”
He started rolling his hips shallowly at first. “I’m going to be so gentle,” he whispered to her.
“You…you don’t…have to be…” she mumbled as he thrust a little deeper. “I want you to take me. I want you.”
He growled like an animal into her neck, and she could feel his teeth. He kept stroking her breasts with one hand while the other slid down to her little nub while he thrust a little more wildly into her.
“Very well,” he grumbled. “I will be gentle until you come for me. And then I will not be gentle.”
She keened and pressed back into him and he held her and took her, rubbing her just the way he had learned she liked. He was so hard inside her but his fingers were soft and delicate, stroking perfectly over her.
“You feel so good, Penelope,” he said. “Your body feels so good.”
All Penelope could do was tremble and take what he was giving her.
Every other time he had touched her intimately (in the carriage, the next day in this house upon the settee, last night when the had made love over and over until she had lost track of how many times she had reached her peak) they had barely spoken a word while their bodies were moving together. She had soaked up his sighs and groans, the overwhelmed, overcome look on his face as he looked into her eyes as he sank inside her. Occasionally they had murmured yes or please or right there or moaned each other’s names before their mouths found each other again.
But it seemed that now he could not stop talking.
“Do you feel what you do to me?” he groaned in her ear. He pressed down firmly on her belly and she could feel the way it made the press of his manhood inside of her more intense. “Do you feel it, Pen?”
“Yes, yes,” she moaned. “It feels so good. You feel so good.”
“All I think about is being inside you like this,” he growled. He stroked his fingers a little bit faster across her center. She could feel herself starting to build up that sensation again, deep inside her. “All I think about is making you come while I’m coming inside you.”
Penelope clenched and gasped, her hands grasping for anything they could reach. “Colin…”
“This perfect body, Penelope.” He was grasping at her breasts with his other hand again, feeling the weight of them, plucking at her nipples in a way that made her want to scream. “This sinfully perfect body. All for me, isn’t it?”
“Oh yes,” she crooned.
She could not believe she was hearing him say these things to her. She had not known language could be so filthy, so arousing. The sweet sound of his voice reverberated through her. She was getting closer as he stroked her and murmured into her ear. She had always loved the sound of his voice. It was all things warm and comforting and good, that voice. As he kept muttering to her all the things he wanted to do to her, all the ways he wanted to see to her pleasure, heat started blooming through her chest, down through her belly to her core. She felt she was approaching a higher pinnacle than she had ever yet felt.
“Colin,” she whimpered. “I…I’m going to…”
“Good,” he groaned. “Come for me. Let me feel.”
She did, and it rocked through her center and her chest and outward so intensely her vision blurred and she felt his fingers in her mouth, pressing on her tongue to keep her from screaming the house down.
“Oh yes,” she keened, scrunching her eyes shut. “Oh, I…I…”
“I know,” he murmured in her ear. He was still thrusting into her just as hard, never stopping his pace, dragging more pleasure out of her, prolonging her pinnacle. “I know, my darling. Keep coming for me, love. I love the way that feels.” He did not stop using his fingers or his shaft inside her. Penelope felt utterly overcome.
She kept coming and coming, her body feeling shaky and limp at how intense the sensations were. Her brain was foggy and slow but her body was still on fire. He was still thrusting inside her, harder now. Just as he had said, he was no longer being gentle. He was pounding away, slamming himself inside her over and over again. She could feel the wetness of her arousal all over her thighs and rear end from how hard he was taking her. She wanted to tell him how good it felt, how good he felt, but she could not find the words. She could not speak.
His voice became ragged in her ear.
“You undo me, my love.” She just whimpered and hung on to his arms and hands for dear life. “Do you feel how you undo me?”
“Yes, husband,” she whispered, and then he was coming too, rolling his hips into so hard, driving his spend as deep inside her as it could possibly go. He held her so close to him, his mouth open on her neck, moaning low. She could not tell where his body started and hers began.
Penelope’s entire body felt spent. All she could do was hold on to his hands and try to keep forcing air into her lungs. When she opened her eyes her vision was slightly foggy as she looked out the window into the sunny, peaceful street. So many mornings she had looked out this window, her heart breaking from missing her husband, from needing him. She needed him just as he was now, warm and solid and breathing softly in her ear.
She had almost grown to hate this view in the morning, the first thing she would see before she would have to rejoin the waking world, to feel doubt and fear and loneliness all day long. But she knew she would only love it now, because Colin would be there, loving her, holding her, keeping her warm.
He nuzzled his face into her neck. “Was that all right, Pen? I thought I must have had my fill of you after last night, but I woke up needing you more than ever.”
“Yes,” she said, taking his hand in hers and bringing it up to her lips to kiss it. She was squirming, trying to roll over but he was still holding her tight, his length softening but still buried inside of her.
He made a little noise of protest. “Stay here with me, love. Please don’t get up yet.”
“I am not going to get up,” she said, shaking her head slightly. “I just want to look at you.”
Colin paused for a moment, then pulled her around slowly. She gasped a little at the wet feeling of his manhood sliding out of her and reached for him. She held his face in her hands and he leaned in to kiss her, but she held him back.
His brow furrowed at her in confusion, but she just smiled. “I just want to look at you,” she said softly.
Colin’s eyes scrunched up, and Penelope could see the emotion and affection there, but he did not say a word. He just relaxed into her touch, pressing his cheek into her hand and looking back at her with love, his own hands sliding up to cup her face. He brushed his thumbs across her cheeks and she softly ran her fingers through his hair.
“I liked that,” she said quietly after a long pause where they just looked at each other. She was still brushing his hair with her fingers.
Colin blushed. “Did you?” She nodded dreamily at him. “I was just thinking I had been a rather a brute, taking you just as you were waking up, talking to you like that.”
“There is no need to be bashful, husband. I love feeling you wanting me.”
“God, I do,” he said, shifting closer to her. “I want you. All the time.”
Penelope paused again. “I loved the way you talked to me.”
He quirked an eyebrow at her. “Oh? Why was that?”
“I just…the sound of you saying those things to me in that voice…” She squirmed closer to him. “It made me feel shaky all over.”
He wrapped one arm around her back, pulling her to him so their faces were only an inch apart. “Do you want me to do it again?”
“Yes,” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. “In all the ways you’re going to have me, like you said.”
His hand slid up her back until it was on the back of her neck, holding her close. “How do you wish me to have you now, wife? Do you wish me to have you on your hands and knees? You liked me rutting into you from behind like an animal, whispering filth into your ear?”
“Yes, Colin,” she whimpered. His mouth was so close to hers. “I want you to have me however you want me. You make me feel so good.”
He tilted his face forward at the same moment she did, and their mouths met in the most consuming kiss, the heat of it palpable.
He rolled over her as he kept kissing her, their hands still cradling each other’s heads and faces. “I love you,” he said, his voice heavy with emotion. “I love you so much, Pen. I’m never letting you go.”
“I love you,” she murmured back. “I need you.”
He rocked his hips and pressed in deep to her. She gasped to feel him hard again, inside her with his spend still leaking out of her.
He moved so slowly, so deliberately, his forehead pressed into hers. He told her how beautiful she was, how feeling her touch and being inside her was the most overwhelmingly intoxicating feeling he could possibly imagine. He told her he loved her over and over. He made love to her for the rest of the morning, kissing her and touching her and filling her, but always with his eyes looking into hers. This was exactly how he wanted her, he said as he kissed her again. This was exactly right.