Chapter Text
Knowing tomorrow’s going to be a busy day, Usopp decides to call it a night early. He makes sure the pantry is stocked, the house is tidy, and the guest bedroom is ready, and then takes himself off to bed with the intention of getting a solid eight hours of sleep.
Kaya’s already there when he comes up to their room. Attempting to climb under the covers, he nearly trips and faceplants into the mattress because he’s too busy smiling dopily at the way her tongue pokes out of the corner of her mouth as she animatedly makes notes in the medical journal she’s reading.
It hits him then, as it does from time to time, that this is real and he gets to have it. Gets to have everything, in a way. He’s sailed all over the globe, become a brave warrior of the sea, and helped make one of his closest friends the Pirate King, and now this is his life. A warm house, a beautiful bride, and the manor they’ve converted into a clinic in Syrup Village that serves all of the East Blue.
It’s idyllic, perfect even, and he’ll be grateful every day for the rest of his life.
“You’re staring again.” Kaya’s eyes are bright, her smile warm as she looks up from her journal to glance at him. Her cheeks are plump, tinted a healthy pink, and Usopp mentally adds her robust health to his list of things to be thankful for.
“Am I?” He says, pulling the covers back with a grandiose gesture and wriggling his way underneath them. “I don’t think I was. In fact, I think you’re fibbing, and that’s a terrible habit to get into Miss Kaya.”
“You’d know,” she replies with an impish giggle. “You’re the king of liars.”
“Excuse me?” Usopp gasps with mock affront, one hand splayed theatrically over his chest. “It’s the king of snipers, thank you very much. I’ll ask you to address me by my proper title,” he adds with a pointed sniff.
“I just did,” she deadpans. “Now, what are you doing up here so early? You’re usually more of a night owl than this.”
“Ah, but we have company coming tomorrow,” Usopp reminds her. “Young, energetic company, spawned from a pair of veritable demons. I need a good night’s sleep if I’m to have any hope of keeping up. What with my advanced age and all.”
“You’re thirty one,” Kaya notes. “I’d hardly call that decrepit.”
“And neither would I,” Usopp agrees, nodding affably. “Which is why that particular term never passed my lips. However, I’m still not a teenager anymore, and our visitor-to-be tends to make me feel every year of our age disparity.”
“Alright then,” Kaya says with a diplomatic hum. Picking up the strip of braided leather he’d given her a while ago to use as a bookmark, she slips it between the pages of her journal and closes it with a quiet snap.
Shifting to set the journal down on the nightstand, she takes a few moments to adjust the blankets around her, before reaching over to flick off the lamp. “Goodnight, Usopp,” she says as darkness floods the room. “Sleep well.”
Usopp smiles as he listens to the sounds of her moving around to get comfortable. Once she stops, he sinks back into his own pillow with a quiet sigh. Tomorrow will be here soon enough, so it’s definitely time to let sleep take him.
*****
Usopp wakes not to the sound of the alarm he’d made sure to set, but rather to the familiar rattle of a transponder snail. Groggily forcing his eyelids open, he fumbles around for the snail’s receiver, wondering not for the first time why it’s on his side of the bed when Kaya’s medical practice makes her the one more likely to receive emergency nighttime calls.
Misjudging the distance, he accidentally cracks his knuckles against the corner of the nightstand, an act that wakes him up just enough to finally find the snail. His fingers close around the handle - blessedly cutting off the noisy ringing - and he brings it to his mouth.
“H’lo?”
The faintest irate grumble reaches his ears, and Usopp squints in the darkness, wondering why he can’t make out the words. “H’lo?” He tries again, a little sterner this time.
More muffled grumbling. It sounds like the person on the other end of the line is trying to talk to him from across a chasm. “Is’t snail broken?”
“No, you’ve just got the receiver turned the wrong way around,” Kaya says tiredly from behind him.
“Hmm? Oh.” Moving at a snail’s pace - heh! - Usopp manages to turn the receiver the right way around, noting absently as he does so that the caller is still talking as if he’d been listening all along.
“ - why I need you to take her for a few days. It shouldn’t take me long to sort out, and then I’ll be back to get her.”
“Eh?” Usopp’s distantly able to register the voice as one he’d trust with his life, but beyond that his sleep-addled brain has no idea what’s happening. “Take who?”
“The kid,” the voice says with more force than Usopp feels is strictly necessary. “Have you listened to a word I’ve said?”
“Not really,” Usopp admits. “S’early.”
“Oh for fucking - ” the voice breaks off with a snarl, and for some reason Usopp has a vision of sharp, pointy objects being aimed his way. “Put your wife on, would you? She’s always been the smarter of the two of you.”
“Very true,” Usopp agrees with an affable nod. He then shoves the receiver back towards where he imagines Kaya is, heedless of the way the cord twangs off his nose. “S’for you.”
“I actually don’t think it is,” Kaya says with a quiet laugh, “but I’ll take it all the same.”
God, she’s so perfect. Letting out a dreamy sigh, Usopp sinks back into his pillows, confident that, whatever’s going on right now, his lady will have things well in hand.
*****
The next time Usopp wakes, it’s still not to his alarm like he’s expecting, but there’s enough sunlight filtering in through Kaya’s beloved frilly curtains that he knows it’s time to rise and shine. Sitting up with a yawn, he briefly stretches his arms above his head before letting them fall back down.
His left hand hits the fabric of the linens as expected. His right, however, comes to a stop on a neatly folded piece of paper. Intrigued, Usopp glances down for a closer look.
It’s from one of Kaya’s prescription pads, he realizes, recognizing the clinic’s symbol stamped on one corner. It’s been bent perfectly in half and is resting in the centre of Kaya’s pillow, while Kaya herself is notably absent.
Picking up the paper, Usopp unfolds it and quickly skims the contents. Written in Kaya’s familiar, flowy script is a message that says she hadn’t had the heart to wake him, so she’d turned off his alarm to let him sleep in. She concludes her words by telling him not to worry about going down to the docks, and that she’ll take care of securing their incoming package.
“She really is the best,” Usopp murmurs with a happy groan. Setting the paper aside on the nightstand, he throws back the covers and swings his legs out over the side of the bed. His feet hit the floor with a quiet thump, and he stands soon after.
Figuring it won’t hurt him to take a quick shower before he goes in search of breakfast, he pads over to the en suite bathroom, intent on getting his ablutions taken care of. He emerges from the bathroom about a half an hour later, freshly washed, dressed, and with a growling stomach.
A quick glance at the clock tells him Kaya probably won’t be back for a little while yet, and he wonders if he should wait so that they can all eat together. On the other hand, he supposes he could make a breakfast big enough for everyone, and Kaya might have returned by the time it’s ready.
Pleased with this plan, he wanders out into the hallway and makes his way down the stairs that will take him to the living and dining area. He passes by framed photos of their friends and family as he goes, saying a silent good morning to them all as he slips by.
Upon reaching the bottom of the stairs, however, he stops due to an unexpected noise coming from the kitchen. Since there shouldn’t be anyone else around with Kaya out of the house he frowns, wondering who it could be.
“Hello?” He calls, sternly reminding himself that brave warriors of the sea don’t allow their voices to catch. “Who’s there?”
His question goes unanswered, so he swallows heavily and drops down off the bottom step of the stairway. Squaring his shoulders, he does his best to remember where he’d last left Kabuto and marches towards the kitchen.
“Look here you,” he says airily, thrusting a hand forward to shove open the swinging door that will let him into the room. “I don’t know who the heck you think you are, but you can’t just go around breaking into people’s houses. That’s the kind of thing that’ll earn you a bad reputation and - oh, hey there, Sora. I didn’t realize you’d be here this early. Where’s Aunt Kaya gotten to?”
Her brow furrowing, the ten year old girl seated at his kitchen table looks up from the massive bowl of cereal she has planted in front of her. As it happens, she’s just shoved a spoonful of said cereal in her mouth upon his arrival, and she makes a point of chewing and swallowing it before she speaks.
“Uncle Usopp, are you playing one of your weird games again?”
“What?” Usopp blinks. “No, of course not.”
Now that he knows he’s not about to have to defend his home from a gang of ruthless brigands - which he would have done superbly, of course - Usopp breezes the rest of the way into the room. “I just thought you’d be a little later, is all, so I was surprised to see you.”
“So surprised that you forgot my name?” The girl asks skeptically.
“Hmm? What?” Usopp plants his hands on his hips and gives her his most scandalized look. “I, the great Captain Usopp, commander of eight thousand troops, along with dozens of squads of giants from Elbaf - ” he pretends not to see the girl mouthing the words along as he goes, “ - have never forgotten your name a single, solitary time. I’ve known you since you were born, young Sora, and I’m not about to start making mistakes like that now.”
“Uncle Usopp,” the girl frowns, and it’s as she does so that he realizes her blond hair is a little longer and shaggier than he’s expecting. Also, her clothes aren’t as neatly pressed as usual, and he thinks he can see the faint outline of a scar on her chin that should decidedly be elsewhere, not here.
He stares at the child in mounting horror, his mouth flapping uselessly as she shakes her head.
“Uncle Usopp,” she says a final time. “I’m Kuina.”
*****
Usopp, because he’s a manly man with hundreds of adventures under his belt and the courage to match, doesn’t faint. He also doesn’t scream, puke, or do any of the other things he’d like to in the wake of this terrible announcement. Instead, he stays rooted to the spot.
This lasts for the better part of a minute until Kuina - fuck, he can tell by the way she moves it’s definitely Kuina, holy shit - scrambles down out of her chair and wanders over to him.
“Are you okay?” She asks, waving a hand in front of his face to get his attention. “You didn’t hit your head or anything, did you?”
The question snaps Usopp out of his stupor. “Why would you ask that?” He demands, wincing when the words come out higher pitched than he’d like.
If she notices this, though, Kuina doesn’t say anything. Instead, she shrugs in a laconic way he’d recognize anywhere. “Dad says that happens sometimes,” she informs him. “And that it can make people act funny when it does.”
“He’d know,” Usopp mutters through clenched teeth. “Speaking of your dad,” he adds, yet another terrible thought occurring to him, “where, exactly, is he?”
Now Kuina rolls her eyes. Not in the Roronoa way, though, oh no. This habit she inherited from someone else.
“Don’t you listen when people talk to you?” She demands, crossing her arms over her chest. “You literally talked to him this morning.”
“I did?” Usopp blinks, a vague memory surfacing of a snail call at some ungodly hour. “That was your dad?”
“Yes,” Kuina huffs, clearly unimpressed. “Haven’t you guys known each other for forever? You’d think you’d recognize him when he called.”
“In my defence,” Usopp says absently, his thoughts still racing along several different paths, “it was very early, and I’ve never been much of a morning person.”
“Whatever.” Uncrossing her arms, Kuina turns to make her way back to the table and her abandoned breakfast. “No wonder Dad made you give the snail to Aunt Kaya. At least she knows which way is up.”
And isn’t that just rich coming from the offspring of none other than Roronoa Zoro. Usopp’s not sure if Kuina’s inherited that particular ridiculous trait, but he’s still ready to open his mouth and taunt her about it when he gets derailed by something else.
“Wait,” he says, holding up a hand. “Kaya knows you're here?”
“Duh,” Kuina gives him the kind of pitying look that only a preteen can manage. “I already saw her, right before she headed off on some errands down at the docks. Who did you think let me in?”
Honestly, since Zoro’s never been one to let a little light vandalism stand in his way, Usopp had been expecting to find a window shimmied open or that the front door was in need of replacing. The idea that Kaya had personally welcomed their new arrival had never occurred to him.
“Alright, fine,” Usopp flaps a hand, figuring he can unpack that later. “Going back to my earlier question, where’s your dad? Please tell me he’s not asleep in the living room or guest room or something. That would … not be good.”
“Why not?” Kuina asks around a fresh mouthful of cereal. “We’ve crashed here before.”
“Kuina.”
“Okay, okay jeez. Why are you so wound up today? Nevermind.” Shaking her head, Kuina reaches for the pitcher of milk and tips a generous portion into her bowl. “Dad’s not here. He’s gone off to deal with some challenger who’s after his title, and you’re watching me until he gets back.”
“He is? I am? Well, a little warning would have been nice,” Usopp groans, massaging his temples with his fingers. He can feel the opening strains of a headache coming on, or possibly a brain aneurysm. Maybe he should call Chopper to discuss his symptoms. “And Aunt Kaya okayed this?”
“Yup,” Kuina says, a trail of milk running down her chin as she gets a little too exuberant with her spoon.
“Right,” Usopp says, and leaves it at that. What he very much does not say out loud is that Kaya - his beautiful, beloved, perfect Kaya - is also apparently a giant, filthy traitor. “I guess I’ll, uh, talk to her when she gets back.”
Oh god, when she gets back. He groans. Back from the docks. The docks where she’s no doubt picking up a very important parcel, the likes of which are going spell doom for all and sundry, but especially Usopp’s sundry.
Trying hard not to swallow his own tongue, Usopp gives himself a stern mental shake and even a light smack to the cheek. “Focus,” he tells himself. “Focus, focus. This is no time to panic.”
In reality, of course, it’s the perfect time to panic, but it’s not like he can just come out and say that in front of an audience. “Okay,” he tries instead. “I’m just going to go, er, wait for Aunt Kaya outside.”
“Okaaayy,” Kuina replies, drawing the word out and giving him a look that suggests she thinks he’s gone crazy. “Have fun with that, I guess? I’ll see you when you come back in.”
“Yeah,” Usopp says miserably. “You will.”
*****
Figuring he can safely leave Kuina to her own devices for the time being, Usopp trudges out the front door like a man walking to his death. Visions of his imminent demise are dancing back and forth before his eyes, and he flops down heavily on the porch swing that he and Kaya like to sit outside on during warm evenings.
He’ll miss nights like that when he’s dead, he thinks. It’s too bad he couldn’t have had more of them.
“How could this happen?” He murmurs, burying shaking fingers in his hair. His wedding band momentarily snags on a stray curl, but he barely notices. “How could she do this? Why would she do this? She knows how they’re bound to react.”
A somewhat snide voice pops up in the back of his head, and notes that something like this had to happen sooner or later. Lost in a series of horrifying futures, though, Usopp tells it to shut up and goes back to worrying.
He stays where he is until he sees a pair of figures, one taller than the other, walking up the lane outside of the house. Trying hard to ignore the icy shiver that’s crawling up his back, he watches as Kaya deftly opens the gate, and proceeds to usher the smaller form through ahead of her.
“Uncle Usopp!” Her blonde hair plaited neatly into braids on either side of her head, Sora - the actual Sora this time - waves at him excitedly. “Hi hi hi! Did you miss me?”
His inevitable doom aside, Usopp can’t help but smile. “Of course I did,” he promises, shoving up off the porch swing and clomping down the wooden stairs that will take him to her level. “As the greatest uncle who ever lived, I miss all my nieces terribly when I’m separated from them.”
Sora lets out a giggle as she wraps her arms around his waist before pulling back to beam up at him. “I’m your only niece, silly,” she declares, “so I’m the only one you have to miss.”
And wasn’t that the crux of the issue? Patting Sora absently on the head, he risks a glance at his wife.
What did you do? He mouths where Sora can’t see him.
Kaya, to his dismay, smirks back at him. “What was necessary,” she says, not bothering to try and hide their conversation. “It’s high time this nonsense got sorted out, mainly so that those two can pull their heads out of their - butts.”
Her choice of wording no doubt being a concession for smaller ears, Usopp releases his grip on Sora and takes a careful step back. “And just what makes you think that we’re qualified to handle the fallout that’s about to occur?” He wants to know.
“The fact that we’re here and willing to try,” Kaya replies firmly. “Somebody’s got to do something.”
“And that somebody has to be us?” Usopp whines. “You do realize the fact that you’re a woman might not even protect you in this instance, don’t you? They’re going to freak.”
“Who’s going to freak?” Sora asks curiously, abruptly reminding him of her presence.
“Everybody,” Usopp replies grimly. “Yourself included. Although, unlike certain parties I could name, you at least are totally innocent of all wrongdoing.”
“Papa tells me that all the time,” Sora says with a smile.
“I’m sure he does,” Usopp says, scrubbing a tired hand over his face. “Too bad he’s not going to say nearly such nice things to me the next time I see him.”
“Why wouldn’t he?” Sora asks, tilting her head to the side in a way that makes one braid stand up a little on end while the other dangles towards the ground. “You’re doing him a favor by letting me stay here while he and Grandpa get ready for the big party.”
Ah yes, The Party. Capital letters are a necessity as far as Usopp’s concerned, what with the way Sanji had described it when he’d called to see if they could watch Sora. The Baratie is celebrating a major anniversary - it’s 25th maybe? - and is having a big open house to mark the occasion. Sanji’s been roped into helping the chefs get everything ready, and had asked for Usopp’s assistance so Sora wouldn’t be under foot.
At the time it hadn’t seemed like much of anything. A favor so small it was practically Usopp reaping the benefit since he sees Sora so rarely, and loves spending time with her. Now, though, it feels like a weight of monumental proportions.
“I’m not equipped for this,” he mutters, worrying his bottom lip nervously. “This is more Chopper’s domain. Or maybe Robin’s. It should definitely be handled by a professional in any event.”
“Well, we’re the only ones here, so we’ll just have to do,” Kaya says philosophically. “At least we know we can’t make any more of a hash of it than their parents have.”
“Hah,” Usopp says wearily, even though she’s entirely correct on that point. “This is going to be a disaster.”
“What is?” Sora wants to know. “How come you’re being all doom and gloom when I’ve only just got here?”
Usopp sighs, closing his eyes for a moment before slowly opening them again. “It’s complicated,” he says tiredly. “But, um, I guess the best place to start is by letting you know that your aunt and I have something we need to tell you.”
“Okay,” Sora says, her big blue eyes widening even more when she realizes he’s being serious. “What is it?”
“I - well - ” Usopp stutters, wringing his hands nervously as he tries to come up with the right thing to say. “The thing is … ”
He’s interrupted by the sound of the front door slamming open and a body rushing outside. “Aunt Kaya, you’re here!” Kuina shouts as she comes thundering down the steps with her arms stretched wide. “Did you miss me?!”
“Of course I did,” Kaya says brightly. She sets down the suitcase she’s been carrying - Sora always travels with multiple - and holds her own arms open. “I barely got to say hello when you got here since I was running late.”
“That’s okay,” Kuina assures her after hugging her hard enough to almost knock her off her feet. “At least you didn’t forget my name!”
“Forget your name?” Kaya echoes, her eyebrows arching in surprise. “Who forgot your name?”
“I didn’t forget anything,” Usopp grumbles, wrapping his hands around the straps of his overalls and jerking his chin towards a visibly confused looking Sora. “What I actually did was make a very understandable mistake.”
“Ah.” Understanding now showing on her face, Kaya gently eases Kuina backwards and turns her until she’s facing in the opposite direction. “I suppose that makes sense.”
Her attention having been caught by Sora, Kuina doesn’t comment on this. Rather, both girls stare at each other, their blue eyes narrowed and their faces wearing identical expressions of surprise.
Kuina finds her voice first. “Who are you?” She demands, shrugging free of Kaya’s loose grip on her shoulders so that she can move to stand nose to nose with the other child. “Why do you look like me?”
Sora bristles at her tone. “I don’t look like you,” she huffs. “I was here first, so you look like me.”
“You were not here first!” Kuina snaps. “You just got here and I’ve been here for hours already. Why are you at my aunt and uncle’s house?”
“They’re not your aunt and uncle, they’re my aunt and uncle!” Sora stomps her foot. “Stop saying things wrong!”
“I’m not!”
“Are to!”
“Am not!”
“Are - !”
“Girls, girls,” Kaya rushes to get between them before things can come to blows. “You’re both right,” she says quickly. “Usopp and I consider ourselves to be both your aunt and uncle, so we’re all family here, okay?”
“Literally in their case,” Usopp mutters. Unsurprised when his words catch both girls’ attention, he runs a hand over his face and then points at the house. “Why don’t we all head inside?” He suggests. “We’ve got a lot to talk about.”
*****
“So wait,” Kuina says once they’re all settled in the living room a little while later. “You’re telling us we’re, like, sisters?”
Perched on an armchair she’d claimed for herself, Sora rolls her eyes so hard she’s lucky she doesn’t hurt herself. “Were you even listening?” She asks in a voice that’s dripping with condescension. “They’re telling us we’re twins.”
“Which also makes us sisters,” Kuina snarls back. “Or are you too dumb to realize that?”
“Girls,” Kaya says, forced not for the first time to interrupt. “I know this is a lot to take in, but with your parents having dropped you off at the same time, we didn’t really have a choice but to tell you.”
“Our parents. Plural.” Sora says. “We have the same ones?”
“And they’re both guys?” Kuina says with matching skepticism. “How’s that possible?”
“Well, actually - ” Visibly floundering, Kaya casts a look in Usopp’s direction. “Maybe your uncle is better suited to answer that one. I wasn’t there, but he was.”
And what a memorable event it had been, Usopp thinks. Leaning forward, he rests his hands on his knees and does his best to hold both girls’ attention at the same time. “What have your dads told each of you about your other parent?”
“Nothin’,” Kuina says with a shrug. “Just that they weren’t in the picture but he’d take care of me.”
“Papa pretty much says the name thing whenever I ask,” Sora says, chewing nervously on her bottom lip. “I always figured I had a mom, though. Not - ”
“The World’s Greatest Swordsman?” Usopp finishes for her, cracking a slight grin when she nods. “Yeah, I can understand why he wouldn’t have been your first guess. Just like I can understand why Kuina wouldn’t have been expecting Blackleg Sanji.”
“Your dads were a couple, back in the day,” he explains. “They even got married while the crew was still all sailing together, but I’m afraid it didn’t work out. About a year before they split, though, they saved a devil fruit user who gave them a very unusual, not to mention unexpected, reward.”
“You mean us?” Kuina guesses, and Usopp nods.
“I mean you,” he confirms. “Don’t ask me how she did it because I have no idea how her powers worked, but the next thing anybody knew she was gone and there were two brand new baby girls on the Sunny in her wake.”
“So we’re, like, freaks of nature,” Kuina decides. “That’s kind of cool.”
“It is not!” Sora wails, kicking her seat. “Why would you say it like that?”
“Uh, cuz it’s true?” Kuina retorts. “We’ve got two dads and no mom for real. No one else has that.”
“Well, we don’t know who else the devil fruit user may have helped, but I agree it’s obviously a very rare circumstance,” Kaya says. “However, the more important thing is that you two are sisters. Isn’t that exciting?”
Both girls eye each other warily.
“It’s … something,” Sora decides in the end.
“What she said,” Kuina agrees. “Also, how come our dads split us up?”
Because they’re both idiots, Usopp valiantly refrains from saying out loud. “You’d have to ask them that,” he declares instead. “They’ve never been overly forthcoming on the details.”
“Well that’s gonna change,” Kuina announces. Likewise, Sora’s fervent nods suggests the twins have finally found something they can agree upon. “I can’t believe Blackleg Sanji’s my dad.”
“Or that Roronoa Zoro is mine,” Sora murmurs. “I mean, I know who he is, but Papa never talks about him.”
“Yeah, Dad won’t talk about Blackleg either,” Kuina notes. “He just says they had a falling out, and I’m not supposed to ask the rest of the crew about it.” She turns a solemn gaze on Usopp. “You’re probably going to be in big trouble by the way.”
“Tell me something I don’t know,” the sniper replies. “But it’s not like we can unring this bell, so what do you guys want to do next?”
“Can we get some lunch?” Sora wonders. “Breakfast was ages ago, and I think I’m weak from shock.”
Kuina gives her a funny look, but shrugs easily enough when Usopp shifts to look at her. “I could eat,” she says. “All I’ve had so far today was that cereal.”
“Okay then,” Kaya says brightly, clapping her hands together. “I’ll take you two to the kitchen, and your uncle will make sure all your things are safely stowed in your room. It’s a good thing we have bunk beds in there, isn’t it?”
“Wait,” Kuina pauses on her way out of the living room. “Is this - ” she gestures at herself and her sister “ - why there’s always been two beds in there?”
“Yes,” Kaya says primly. “I’ve been holding out hope for years that I’d get to see you both in the same spot again. Now, come on. Lunch isn’t going to make itself.”
The girls allow themselves to be led from the room, but Usopp still waits a beat before he moves to stand. When no further disasters appear to be forthcoming, however, he pushes up off the couch with a groan.
Snagging two of Sora’s three suitcases on the way by, he deposits them in the spare room, and then goes back for the third. Kuina’s knapsack is already resting on the top bunk, and he recalls that Sora’s always slept on the bottom.
“Hopefully that’ll be one less thing for them to fight over,” he says as he places all three of Sora’s bags on the corresponding bed. “Because I don’t know what I’m going to do if they spend their whole visit at each other’s throats.”
Sighing for what feels like the umpteenth time today, he makes sure that all the bags are safely stowed before turning to leave the room. Having not had breakfast yet, he could use some food himself.
Not to mention possibly a drink.