Work Text:
"So…" Abigail glared. "When exactly were you two going to tell me you're dating?"
Sam blinked in astonishment, dropping his controller, the character on the tv screen dying almost immediately when mushroomba walked into it. "What the fuck are you talking about?" Sebastian asked, his cheeks pink.
"Oh please!" Abigail scoffed. "You know exactly what I'm talking about."
"I assure you I don't," Sebastian said coldly, retrieving the controller off the floor, while Sam just blinked again.
"Dating?" he mouthed, apparently unable to connect two brain cells together so that sound would actually leave his mouth.
Abigail waved her hands in their direction. "Come off it, guys," she said. She held up a hand, and began marking things off on her fingers. "You spend practically all your spare time together," she said, ticking off one finger. "You have sleepovers all the time even though you're in your twenties… sleepovers I'm not allowed to participate in," she added pointedly, tapping a second finger. "You joined his band, in spite of the fact that you hate being the center of attention," she continued, putting down a third finger. "And," she finally said, holding up her index finger a moment, before turning her hand so she could point between them. "You're practically sitting on Sam's lap, even though you hate when people touch you."
She looked at them triumphantly as if she had caught them in a huge gotchya. Sebastian immediately scooched over, giving Sam some extra space.
"You're insane," Sebastian said as Sam finally found his voice.
"We're not dating!" he blurted out.
Annoyance passed over Abigail's face, quickly replaced by hurt. "Yeah, right," she said, crossing her arms and tossing her hair. "You know, I can maybe understand keeping it from everyone else," she sniffled. "We don't live in the biggest town, after all, and even if people are cool about Gil and Marlon being married, I can see why it would be hard to be open about your relationship. The gossip alone would be annoying as fuck. I would've thought, though you could at least have told me. I'm supposed to be your best friend!"
To Sam's horror, Abby brushed a tear off her face. He exchanged a concerned glance with Seb before changing positions on the couch, so he could pull her into a hug. "Shit, Abs," he muttered into her ear. "Don't cry! There's nothing going on between me and Seb, I promise."
"Yeah," Seb agreed quickly. "If we were, we would definitely tell you about it." He paused as Sam and Abigail both looked at him. "Well, I wouldn't," he amended quickly. "I don't share shit about anything. But Sam would! You know he's an open book."
Abigail's expression softened even as Sam continued to glare at Sebastian. "True," she said slowly. "He does share everything."
"I do not!" Sam protested indignantly.
"You do too," Sebastian insisted. "I know all about the hangnail on your right index finger," he said.
"It hurts when I play guitar," Sam pointed out.
"Mm hmm," Sebastian said dismissively. "And we both heard all about your first kiss," he continued.
"I was the first of us to kiss someone," Sam defended himself. "I thought you'd want to know all about it. If you think about it, I was doing you a favour!"
Abigail laughed and Sebastian snorted. "How benevolent of you," Abigail said dryly. "I really needed to know how you almost choked on Haley's bubblegum."
Sam turned red. "I thought it was important to share," he said. "Sue me for not wanting you guys to make the same mistake I did."
"Which brings us to another important point," Sebastian said, shaking his head in amusement.
"What's that?" Abigail asked.
"Sam doesn't like guys."
"Actually I do," Sam said staring at his hands.
Abigail and Sebastian both turned to him, their mouths open in shock.
"What do you mean you do?" Sebastian eventually choked out.
"Sam shares everything," Sam mimicked in a high pitch voice that was the complete opposite of Sebastian's baritone. "I never shared that, did I?" He leaned back on the couch in satisfaction, until he realized he'd effectively come out to his best friends in order to prove a point.
"B-but you've only ever dated women!" Sebastian pointed out, his eyes wide.
Abigail whacked him on the shoulder with the palm of her hand. "That doesn't mean anything," she said. "You know that! You've dated women, after all, and I've dated men."
"Yeah, but I haven't dated only women and you haven't dated only men," Sebastian pointed out.
"Still doesn't mean Sam can't be bisexual!" Abigail insisted. "How long have you known?" she asked, turning her attention away from Sebastian who still looked like he wanted to argue with her and back to him.
Sam shrugged, rubbing his hand against the back of his neck. "Dunno," he said. "I've probably always known, if I think about it, but…" He trailed off a moment, trying to think of the exact moment he'd realized he was bi. He paused when he realized it had been when he'd been watching porn and found himself paying really close attention to the male actors.
"What does it matter?" Sebastian said, inadvertently rescuing him from blurting out another awkward secret.
Maybe I do overshare, he conceded to himself.
"I guess it doesn't," Abigail answered after a moment. She considered Sebastian carefully. "You really didn't know Sam was in the bisexual brigade with us?"
"Does it sound like I knew?" Sebastian glared at her.
"No," she said, thinking it over for a moment. "Even you aren't that good at keeping a secret. Fine," she said. "I guess since you didn't even know Sam likes guys, you can't be dating, after all," she mused. She looked between them. "You should consider it, though. I mean, the chemistry is definitely there. Speaking of chemistry, I owe Maru 100 gold, I guess. I thought for sure you were dating."
Sebastian rolled his eyes as Sam spluttered again. "Why can't two guys just be good friends?" he asked. "You're friends with most of the women in town, and no one accuses you of dating them."
"I don't spend literally all my time with them," Abigail pointed out, glancing at her watch. "Shit," she swore standing up suddenly. "I have to go. I promised Dad I'd be home by five to help with inventory." She shook her head. "Riveting, I know, but at least he's paying me now." She looked at Sam. "You gonna walk me home, or are you going to spend more time hanging out with your Not Boyfriend?" she asked, her voice holding a note of suspicion, as if, even now, she still couldn't quite believe they weren't lying to her.
"I should go too," Sam said, not bothering to dignify the second part of her statement with a response. "It's lentil night, and Mom's going to have her hands full trying to get Vinny to eat his dinner."
He took Abigail's proffered hand, using it to pull himself up into a standing position. Sebastian stood as well, walking with them to the door. "See you later, Seb," Abigail said, tackling him into an unwilling hug before bounding up the stairs.
"For fuckssake," Sebastian muttered in spite of the grin on his face, a grin which faded slightly as he considered Sam. "Can you believe her?" he asked, nodding in the direction of the ceiling. They could hear Abigail talking with Maru in the lab outside Sebastian's bedroom door.
"No," Sam laughed, wondering why things were suddenly awkward between them. He forced a smile onto his face. "Well, ignore her anyways," he said. "I'm sure no one else thinks we're dating."
"Right?" Sebastian said, shaking his head in disbelief. "I mean, can you even imagine?"
Sam blinked as a vision of Sebastian's lips against his flitted through his mind, before he chased it away. Fucking Abby putting ideas into my mind, he thought. "No," he said, wondering if his voice held a note of wistfulness or if he was imagining things because of the weirdness of the moment.
"Sam? Finish kissing Sebastian goodbye so we can go!" Abigail shouted from the top of the stairs, her giggles matching Maru's guffaw of laughter.
"Fuck off, Abby," Sebastian called as Sam took his leave. "Bye, Sam."
"Bye Seb," Sam said, closing the door behind him. "You ready?" he asked Abigail who was waiting for him with a large smile on her face.
"Very," she said, rolling her eyes. Which is fair enough, Sam thought. She has been waiting for me, after all. "Let's go!"
"And then poor Emily tripped over the weights Robin had just placed in front of her spot and fell," Jodi said in between bites of her food. "Why Robin needs to lift weights in her line of business, I'll never know. You'd think all that sawing and hammering and carrying planks of wood would be enough of a workout, but I guess not." She sighed. "She has the best upper arms."
"Was she okay?" Vincent asked, looking up from where he was trying to hide his lentils under his napkin.
"Was who okay?" Jodi asked in confusion.
"Miss Emily," Vincent replied. "You said she fell."
"Oh! Yes, of course she was okay, dear," Jodi assured him, her eyes narrowing on his plate, but not saying anything. "Doctor Harvey was there and he was able to look at her ankle right away, just in case. She didn't even have a bruise on her."
"Why was Doctor Harvey there?" Vincent asked, pushing another lentil towards the edge of the plate.
"Never you mind," Jodi said, waving him off. She glanced at Sam who was also pushing food around his plate, too wrapped up in his own thoughts to eat anything. "Sammy?" she asked, leaning forward and placing her hand against his forehead. "Are you feeling okay? You've barely eaten any of your food."
Sam snapped to attention. "Huh?" he asked, looking up in confusion. "Yeah, I'm okay," he said, trying for a smile. "Just thinking about something Abby said today when we were at Seb's."
"Oh?" Jodi asked, her eyes flashing with excitement. Sam's smile widened. She would deny it up and down, but he knew she loved a good piece of gossip. "What did she say?"
Sam took a bite of lentils, chewing them over slowly in a way he knew would irritate his mother. "Delicious," he said after he'd swallowed. Vincent looked at him like he'd grown an extra head. "Anyways," he relented, placing his fork on his placemat. "She accused me and Sebastian of dating! Can you imagine?"
Jodi stared at him, in what he had to guess was a mirror image of how he'd looked when Abigail had brought up her assumptions, and for a moment, Sam felt validated in his reaction. Until she spoke. "You mean you aren't?" she asked.
Sam stared back at her. "No?" he said. "I… What? What do you mean 'you aren't'?" He groaned. "Don't tell me you think we're dating, too?"
"Of course not," she replied immediately, turning her attention back to her food.
"I thought you were," Vincent said, looking between them both. "You mean you and Sebastian aren't dating?"
"No!" Sam cried. "Of course we aren't dating. Wait, what do you even know about dating anyways?"
Vincent shrugged. "I know lotsa stuff," he replied. "Mr. Alex is dating Mr. Elliott, and Miss Haley is dating Miss Leah, and you and Sebastian are dating, too. That's what Miss Penny said, anyways," he added, sliding another lentil under his napkin. "Although she told me not to tell anyone. She said it's not good to gossip." He paused. "Whoops," he added, unapologetically.
"We aren't dating though," Sam pointed out. "So Miss Penny's wrong."
He looked to his mother for support, but Jodi was staring at Vincent with wide eyes. She was practically vibrating in excitement from all news she'd just heard, and Sam gave it a maximum of fifteen minutes before she called her best friend Caroline to compare notes.
"Miss Penny's never wrong," Vincent replied. "She knows everything." He took a sip of milk and placed his glass back on the table, right on top of a small pile of lentils Sam knew he'd claim 'accidentally' fell off his plate. "I'm gonna marry her one day, you just wait and see."
"Vincent, eat your food," Jodi said, apparently having decided enough was enough. Ignoring her younger son's sigh of frustration, she turned her attention back to Sam. "You know I've always told you that I'll love you no matter what, right Sammy?" she said, suddenly looking serious. "If you like men, it's okay with me. That goes for you, too, Vincent."
"I don't!" Sam protested. Then he paused. "Well, okay I do, actually," he admitted, figuring he may as well come out to everyone in one day. "But that doesn't mean I'm dating Sebastian!"
"Why not?" she asked. "He's a nice boy. I mean, he has more piercings than I would like in a prospective partner for my son, but I suppose I can't hold that against him. I have a couple of tattoos I regret, after all."
"You do?" Sam goggled. "Where? I've never seen any tattoos on you!"
"Well… not since you were born, anyways," Jodi winked at him. "I'm just saying I understand personal expression, that's all!" she added when Sam made an involuntary gagging noise.
"Gross," he said. "I'm sorry I asked. Anyways," he said more loudly when his mother giggled. "It doesn't matter anyways if you like his piercings or not, because we aren't dating!"
"If you say so, dear," Jodi said with a shake of her head, clearly not believing him. "Well, if you ever decide you have something you want to talk about, you can always come to me, dear."
"Thanks Mom," Sam said, slumping in his chair and picking up his fork again. He held it over the plate. "May I be excused?" he asked hopefully.
Jodi rolled her eyes. "No. If your brother has to eat his lentils, then so do you!" Vincent stuck his tongue out at him across the table.
Sam sighed, flinging himself across his bed in frustration. "What a day," he moaned, flipping himself over to lie on his back. His room was dark, and he knew he should probably turn on a light, but he was too worn out from defending himself against dating accusations to find the energy to do more than scrub his hand across his face.
His only comfort was that Sebastian was clearly as shocked as he was to hear the rumours about the two of them. It was laughable, really, when Sam thought about it. Him and Sebastian… dating? Come on, now!
He is attractive, though, Sam reminded himself. In fact, if Sam was being honest, Seb was exactly the kind of guy he might go for. It probably wasn't a coincidence that all the porn he watched featured a pale thin guy with dark hair. But that didn't mean he wanted to actually date his best friend.
You could, though.
Sam closed his eyes, picturing Sebastian's face. He thought of Sebastian's eyes, grey like the edges of an otherwise fluffy white cloud, twinkling with happiness like they usually did when Sam was around. One of Sam's favourite things about hanging out with Sebastian was the way his eyes lit up when he first noticed him enter a room. There was always one second where he let his guard down to let Sam in, before shuttering himself off again behind a mask of practiced indifference.
Then there was his stubble, an almost ever-present five o'clock shadow, but only on his chin, never on his upper lip or neck. He'd heard Sebastian's complaints about having to shave daily time and again, and tried to be as sympathetic as he could, considering that he also had to regularly shave. He ran his fingers across his own stubble, wondering if Sebastian's would feel different.
Sam dragged his fingers to his lips, pressing against them softly. What would it be like to kiss him? he wondered. None of the women he'd dated had any facial piercings, and Sam wondered if Seb's spider bites would hurt as they pressed into his skin. From there, it was only natural to think about what Sebastian would taste like.
Smoke, probably, he told himself, smiling with his fingers still resting against his mouth. But probably coffee, too. Maybe some mint if he's chewed a piece of gum recently. In fact, Sam realized, he probably tastes like he smells. He'd spent too much time in close quarters with his best friend to not know his scent. Sometimes after they hung out all day, he'd arrive home and realize he smelled like his friend: smoke, coffee and mint, for sure, but also a hint of sandalwood from his deodorant. It was a much more subtle aroma than the body sprays Sam favoured, but the combination of their scents together always made him smile.
Sam opened his eyes as his phone dinged. He fumbled for it, eventually pulling it out of his pocket.
seb.
abbys insane
Sam grinned.
i no rite? can u imagine us dating?
There was a pause while Seb typed a message, deleted it, then typed and deleted it again.
The screen went blank as it timed out while Sam waited for Sebastian's reply.
It was crazy, right? He and Seb couldn't date each other… right? It didn't normally take this long for Sebastian to reply, though. Could it be Seb was wondering the same thing?
What if we start dating and it all goes wrong? Sam reminded himself. You'll lose your best friend.
He unlocked his screen, composing a message of his own. What if we start dating and it all goes right? he thought. He hesitated, his fingers drumming on the back of his phone case. Fuck it, he thought. We ball. He hit send on the message, watching as it flipped from 'received' to 'read' almost immediately.
He held his breath as he waited for Sebastian to reply again. Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long.
seb.
sure.
Sam smiled. If people were going to talk about them anyways, they might as well give them something to talk about. He dialed Sebastian's number quickly.
"Hey Sam," Sebastian greeted him, picking up right away.
"Hey," Sam grinned. "So I was thinking maybe Saturday we could go to Zuzu? If you pay for gas, then sushi's on me?"
Sam could hear the smile in Sebastian's voice. "It's a date."