Chapter Text
[Part 1] An End to the Beginning
Death is never kind.
There is no such thing as a painless death. The moment your heart stops beating, you feel as though your entire head is being torn apart. No oxygen reaches your veins, and slowly, your vision begins to blur. Your ears ring like an alarm blaring right beside them. And then comes the most painful part ....
You watch your entire life play out like a movie.
Every regret. Every moment of happiness. Every sorrow. Every little thing you have ever experienced.
Ajax doesn't know what will happen after the memories finally come to an end. Perhaps he will meet angels who weigh his deeds, deciding whether he deserves heaven or hell.
But nothing happens.
After reliving the memory of his own death on a blood-soaked, snow-covered road, Ajax finds himself standing before a woman.
Though ... can she really be called a woman?
She has long, white hair and a pure halo floating above her head. For the briefest moment, she reminds Ajax of the Traveler's little companion, Paimon.
But no. That's definitely not Paimon.
Ajax knows that much. Paimon should still be alive when he died. The Traveler would have kept her somewhere safe. Hopefully, that little friend is alright.
Please.
"Too many deaths."
The woman finally speaks. Her voice echoes through the emptiness, despite the fact that there is nowhere for the sound to travel. The two of them stand—or perhaps float—in a void of nothing but darkness.
Ajax doesn't know what to say. Hell, he doesn't even know who—or what—he's standing before.
He's dead. He knows that much.
So shouldn't he at least be allowed to rest?
"Ajax of Morepesok."
The way she says his name sends a chill down his spine. Her brilliant golden eyes stare straight into his soul.
"I'll give you a choice."
Ajax remains silent, but a faint glimmer of hope sparks in his eyes.
"Do you wish to accept eternal rest," she asks, "or would you rather start everything over?"
A chance.
A chance to start over.
"You must understand. If you choose to begin again, you will experience the same pain all over again. You will suffer a second time. And even if you manage to change the future, there will be things that cannot be changed, no matter how hard you try."
The lights shimmering around her flicker softly. For some reason, her expression seems almost sorrowful.
"Eternal rest may be the kinder choice. But if you choose it, you will never have the chance to fulfill your regrets."
Ah.
Regrets.
Right.
Ajax has plenty of those.
When he left for war, things between him and Tonia had been ... complicated. He still remembers her screaming, crying, begging him not to leave.
Then there was Capitano's fountain pen.
Ajax had thought it was simply a gift before the man departed for Natlan. He never realized it was actually Capitano's final keepsake, left behind before his death.
And—oh. Right.
Zhongli.
Their friendship had never been quite the same after Ajax discovered that Zhongli was actually Rex Lapis. Zhongli had tried to apologize—no, "tried" was putting it far too lightly.
He had begged for Ajax's forgiveness.
The last time they saw each other was before the war.
Speaking of the war ....
Ajax remembers the cruel things he said to Lumine, too.
He hadn't meant for his words to cut so deeply. His mind had been a complete mess at the time, and Lumine kept throwing herself into danger, sacrificing herself again and again until she was eventually injured.
But now that he was dead, Ajax wished he had been kinder to her.
It was only now that he realized just how many people cared about him.
"I—"
Ajax tries to speak, but his throat burns with every word that escapes.
"I want to go back."
He knows what that means.
He'll have to live through all that pain again. He'll get hurt. He'll lose people. Those old regrets will follow him into the night, haunting him over and over.
But Ajax wants to try.
He wants to fix everything.
"Very well."
There is a gentler warmth in the woman's voice now. She raises one hand, and countless glimmering lights bloom around them like distant stars.
"May Celestia bless your journey, Ajax of Morepesok."
And then—
Everything goes dark.
***
When Ajax opens his eyes, he is greeted by a painfully familiar ceiling of cracked white ceramic.
He blinks several times.
A sharp chill brushes against his skin, despite the crystals in his room actively keeping the temperature warm. It's not the cold that bothers him. It's the fact that it has been a very, very long time since he last saw this ceiling.
Ajax throws himself out of bed and rushes toward the mirror.
He's wearing his old white pajamas. His hands are rough from years of intense training, but they're there.
Both of them.
Still attached to his body.
With trembling fingers, Ajax unbuttons his pajamas and looks down.
Nothing.
No scars.
Not a single one.
His body should have been covered in ugly scars from the war. He should have lost his left hand. His right eye should have been gone.
But right now, Ajax is fine.
He woke up inside his old chamber in the Fatui quarters of the Zapolyarny Palace.
It's been a decade since he last saw this place. A decade since he had stepped inside this room. If he really has gone back in time, then ... then everything is still alright.
Everyone is still alive.
Everyone is still out there, living their lives.
Ajax tries to hold himself together.
He really does, but the tears betray him.
They spill down his cheeks one after another until his vision becomes nothing but a blur. His knees give out, and he collapses in front of the mirror, silently sobbing.
He's back.
He actually came back.
This time he'll make everything right.
***
After crying himself to relief, Ajax sat on the edge of his bed. Now, he began to organize his thoughts.
Okay, first, Ajax needs to figure out which point in the timeline he has regressed to. The answer becomes obvious when he finds his Harbinger coat hanging inside his wardrobe. Well, that makes things considerably easier. He certainly has no desire to relive the blood, sweat, and tears it takes to claw his way into the position of the Eleventh Harbinger.
He pauses, trying to reconstruct his old routine back when he is still stationed at the palace. Five in the morning means training until ten, then reporting to his post. No, that only applies to the earlier part of his tenure. By his second year as the Eleventh Harbinger, he takes on another role as the head of a training troupe, drilling new recruits until they can barely feel their legs. Then there are the promises he makes to his siblings. Plenty of them. The problem is, Ajax can't remember which promises he makes in this particular timeline. Even if he technically travels back in time, he refuses to break a promise just because fate decides to give him a second round.
So, yeah. He really needs to know where—or rather, when—he is.
A knock sounds against the door.
Ajax, already dressed in his Fatui uniform, swings it open and finds Ekaterina standing there in her neat vest, short bob perfectly in place.
Ekaterina. For a fleeting moment, the sight of her nearly makes him forget himself. It's been so long. Far too long. He has to physically restrain himself from pulling her into a hug, which would probably be a rather alarming way to greet his subordinate first thing in the morning.
"Lord Tartaglia," Ekaterina says with a tired sigh, glancing past him into the room. "So I am right. You really are in here."
Ajax raises an eyebrow. "You sound disappointed."
"I'm surprised." She gives him a puzzled look. "It's rare to find you in your room at this hour. I assume you are usually halfway across the training grounds by now."
"Ah, yeah. That's—" Ajax's mind briefly scrambles for an excuse before he casually waves a hand. "That's a complicated story. What brings you here, Ekaterina?"
"Her Highness is looking for you," she replies, as if delivering the simplest piece of information in the world.
Ah.
There it is.
Ajax suddenly knows exactly when he is.
His expression remains composed, though something inside him clicks neatly into place. "Got it. I'll be on my way."
He takes a step forward, then stops. His gaze settles on Ekaterina for a moment longer than usual, almost as though he's making sure she's really standing there. Alive. Healthy. Here.
"Oh, and Ekaterina?"
"Yes, Lord Tartaglia?"
"Pack your things. And tell the others to do the same."
Ekaterina blinks. "Excuse me?"
"We're going abroad."
Her eyebrow rises.
"For a long, long time."
She stares at him for a moment, her expression slowly shifting from confusion to concern. "Where exactly are we going?"
"The Land of Contracts." Ajax's lips curl into a mischievous grin. "Liyue."
Ekaterina's eyes narrow. "Why? No, I mean, You haven't even been ordered by Her Highness, have you?"
Ajax turns toward the hallway, his coat swaying behind him as he starts walking.
"Let's just say," he calls over his shoulder, "It's a hunch."
Ekaterina watches him disappear down the corridor, then sighs deeply. "That answer has never meant anything good."
Ajax's laughter echoes from somewhere ahead.
"Don't worry! It'll be fun!"
"That is precisely what worries me, Lord Tartaglia."
***
He was right.
This is the timeline where the Tsaritsa orders the Harbingers to gather the Gnoses, and this time, Ajax is assigned the role of Childe—the diplomat and representative of the Northland Bank in Liyue.
He has just finished speaking with the Tsaritsa and is making his way down the palace corridor when a familiar hand settles on his shoulder, making him stop in his tracks. Ajax turns around and finds himself face-to-face with a tall figure clad in his usual armor, a black mask concealing his features.
Capitano.
For some reason, simply seeing him alive and standing in front of him makes Ajax's stomach twist.
"Tartaglia, are you free?" Capitano asks.
"Ah, the Captain." Ajax gives him a small bow, forcing himself to act as naturally as possible. "I am. I just came back from meeting Her Highness."
"Oh?" Capitano's hand remains on his shoulder for another moment. "Did she give you an assignment?"
"She did. Apparently, I'll be leaving Snezhnaya for a year."
Ajax feels the hand on his shoulder tense ever so slightly.
"That's ...," Capitano pauses, as though carefully choosing his words. "Quite a long time."
Ajax blinks.
This conversation never happens in his previous life. Not like this. After meeting the Tsaritsa, he remembers crossing paths with Capitano in the palace, but he leaves almost immediately, too preoccupied with ordering his subordinates to pack for the journey. He never stays long enough to notice the concern behind the Captain's words.
Is he ... worried?
Ajax has always assumed Capitano doesn't see him as an equal. How could he? Capitano is the strongest among the Harbingers, while Ajax is the youngest and lowest-ranking of them all. But after everything he experiences in his previous life, Ajax knows better now. The Captain respects him. He cares about him. He even leaves half of his will to Ajax before his death.
I wonder why he care about me that much?
"Tartaglia?"
Ajax snaps back to reality. "Oh—sorry. What was that again?"
"I asked if you would like to attend Sandrone's tea party."
"... Oh."
A laugh slips from Ajax's lips. Right. Of course. How could he forget? Capitano is always like this. Somehow, after dying, getting a second chance at life, and realizing he has a decade of memories to sort through.
Capitano tilts his head. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Ajax simply smiled.
The older man seems like didn't buy that. "You look pale."
"I'm always pale. I live in Snezhnaya."
"That isn't reassuring."
Ajax snorts. "Really, Captain, I'm alright. Please, lead the way."
For a moment, Capitano says nothing. Then a quiet chuckle rumbles from behind his mask.
"Very well."
Ajax follows beside him, hiding a smile.
***
This has never happened in his previous life.
Of course, Ajax attends Sandrone's tea parties several times, but never before his departure to Liyue. Now, he sits beside Capitano at the round table, surrounded by delicate porcelain teacups, freshly baked pastries, and enough sweets to make even the most disciplined soldier surrender. The warm aroma of tea mingles with the faint scent of sugar and butter, creating an almost absurdly peaceful atmosphere for a gathering of the Fatui Harbingers. Across from him, Arlecchino calmly pours tea into Columbina's cup while its owner is currently in the middle of an argument with the hostess.
"I told you not to touch my masterpiece so carelessly!" Sandrone snaps, her fingers curling around the edge of the table. "It's not a doll!"
"But it's so small and cute," Columbina replies, perfectly serene as she holds the mechanical contraption in question. Her smile is innocent enough to be infuriating.
"Those 'small and cute' things you're talking about can literally explode and destroy an entire city!" Sandrone's eye twitches. "If you accidentally activate that machine, this entire palace will be reduced to ash!"
Capitano glances between them, his head tilting slightly. "What happened?"
Arlecchino takes a leisurely sip of her tea, completely unfazed. "The usual."
"I see." He nods.
Sandrone's head snaps toward him. "No, you don't! Why is everyone acting as though this is perfectly normal? She nearly burned down the palace!"
"But I didn't," Columbina points out, tilting her head with an almost angelic expression.
"I said nearly!"
"Then that means I didn't."
"That is not how this works!"
Columbina's shoulders shake with a quiet giggle while Sandrone looks as though she's reconsidering every decision that leads her to hosting tea parties in the first place. Ajax can't hold it anymore. A small chuckle escapes him, earning him a sharp glare from Sandrone. His smile immediately freezes.
"And what, exactly, are you laughing at?" Sandrone asks, her voice dangerously sweet.
Uh-oh, he's in trouble.
"Nothing." Ajax straightens in his seat, desperately attempting to look innocent. "I just think it's nice seeing how close you and Columbina are."
"Nice?" Sandrone's eyebrow twitches. "You call this nice?"
Columbina suddenly claps her hands together, her eyes brightening. "Oh, how sweet. I'm happy to hear that from our youngest."
"No, don't encourage him." Sandrone pinches the bridge of her nose, exhaling through her teeth. "I'm already regretting this."
Arlecchino's lips curl into an amused smile as she lifts her teacup, her sharp eyes settling on Ajax. "I never knew you were such an observer, Tartaglia."
"I'm not." Ajax tilts his head, genuinely puzzled. "But who wouldn't think the same thing after watching the two of them?"
Capitano gives a slow nod. "He does have a point."
Sandrone turns toward him in disbelief. "Oh, wonderful. So our youngest has allies now?"
Her glare returns to Ajax, though the faint twitch at the corner of her mouth betrays the playful nature behind it. "Perhaps I should send my newest toy to your room tonight. I'm sure it would be fascinating to see how long your bed survives."
Ajax's smile falters. "You wouldn't."
"I absolutely would."
"That's terrifying."
The others laugh softly, and for some reason, the sound makes something warm settle in Ajax's chest. The conversation feels strangely familiar—casual, ridiculous, almost domestic. He remembers how he used to sit quietly during gatherings like this, convinced that he didn't belong among people so powerful and accomplished. Back then, every Harbinger seems like someone standing on a distant mountain while he is still struggling to climb it. But now, sitting among them with the knowledge of everything he loses, Ajax realizes just how precious this ordinary moment is.
"Oh, don't worry, Sandrone," Ajax says with a grin. "I definitely won't be sleeping in the training grounds tonight."
"Then choose your side carefully." Sandrone huffs, though her expression has softened. She studies him for a moment before adding, "You're oddly talkative today. You usually sit there like a decorative vase whenever we have tea."
Ajax blinks. "A decorative vase?"
"At least a vase doesn't cause explosions."
"Hey!"
Columbina giggles behind her teacup, while Arlecchino quietly hides a smile. Even Capitano's shoulders seem to shake with restrained amusement.
Sandrone folds her arms. "See? You're proving my point."
Ajax sighs dramatically. "Maybe I'm just in a good mood. I'm leaving for Liyue soon, after all."
Sandrone's eyebrows rise. "Liyue? For what?"
Ajax straightens proudly, practically glowing with excitement. "I'm going as a diplomat!"
For one glorious second, the room falls completely silent.
Then—
"Pfffft—"
Sandrone breaks first.
Her shoulders begin shaking before a loud, helpless laugh bursts from her. Columbina quickly covers her mouth, but her trembling shoulders make it obvious she's barely holding herself together. Arlecchino stares at Ajax as if she is trying to determine whether he is joking, lying, or suffering from an undiagnosed head injury. Even Capitano lowers his head, and the unmistakable rumble of laughter escapes from behind his mask.
Ajax's proud smile slowly collapses.
"Why is everyone laughing?" he demands, looking from one Harbinger to another. Finally, he turns toward Capitano with wounded disbelief. "Captain! At least you understand that I can be a decent diplomat, right?"
Capitano pauses, clearly fighting another laugh. "I believe you are capable of diplomacy."
Ajax's expression brightens.
"... In theory."
"Captain!"
Sandrone nearly chokes on her tea. "You? A diplomat? Tartaglia, you're a walking catastrophe with a Harbinger coat! The moment negotiations become difficult, you'll probably challenge the other side to a duel!"
"I would not!"
"You absolutely would."
"I have self-control!"
"You once started a fight because someone told you to stop smiling."
"That was different!"
Columbina leans closer, her smile turning teasing. "Perhaps Tartaglia is better suited to being the diplomat's bodyguard. You can stand behind the real diplomat and glare at everyone until they agree."
Ajax's cheeks burn. "I know basic accounting, you know!"
Sandrone snorts. "Oh, how reassuring."
"I learned from the Rooster during my early days!"
Arlecchino raises her teacup, hiding another smile behind the porcelain. "That somehow makes it worse."
Ajax looks around the table, utterly betrayed. "Why is nobody taking me seriously?"
Columbina pats his shoulder with a soft giggle. "Because you're very cute when you're offended."
He—what?!
"I am not cute."
"How come our youngest have hiding this cute side of his all this time? Sandrone, you should've invited him more often."
"Columbina!"
The room erupts into laughter again, and Ajax sinks into his chair, cheeks burning as he mutters something about never attending another tea party ever again. Nobody believes him. Shit, this is embarrassing. He should've just gone straight to his room rather than attending this tea party.
"Alright, enough," Arlecchino finally cuts in, though the amused smile tugging at her lips makes it clear she is enjoying Ajax's misery. "Our youngest is turning into a literal tomato." She gestures toward him with her teacup, her eyes briefly flicking over his flushed face. "Besides, I'll be departing soon as a diplomat myself."
"Really?" Ajax immediately perks up, grateful for the change in subject. He leans forward, curiosity replacing his embarrassment. "Where are you going?"
"Fontaine."
"Fontaine?" His eyes brighten. "Wow, that's amazing. I've heard it's beautiful. The architecture, the canals, the technology ... even their streets are supposed to look like something out of a storybook."
Arlecchino gives a small nod. "It is an interesting nation. Though I suspect you'll find the people more interesting than the scenery."
Ajax grins. "Now I really want to go."
"You'll probably cause an international incident within the first week," Sandrone mutters, reaching for another pastry.
"Hey! I'm trying to be a diplomat!"
"Exactly my concern."
Ajax opens his mouth to protest, but Sandrone continues before he can get a word in.
"I want to visit Fontaine too. I've heard they have all kinds of advanced machines and mechanical automatons, even though I doubt it's more advanced than Snezhnaya. Nevertheless, I want to see how they operate firsthand." Her eyes gleam with unmistakable curiosity, already imagining herself dismantling one of Fontaine's finest inventions and putting it back together just to understand every mechanism.
"But we have robots at home," Columbina says sweetly, taking another sip of tea.
Sandrone look at her in disbelief. Slowly, she turns her head toward Columbina. "Don't."
Columbina blinks innocently. "I only mean that you already have plenty of robots here."
"I know what you mean."
"Then why go all the way to Fontaine?"
"Because theirs are different."
"How different?"
"Different enough."
Columbina hums thoughtfully. "So you want to see other people's robots because you're bored with your own?"
Sandrone's eye twitches.
"Shut it."
Ajax snorts into his tea.
Sandrone immediately points at him. "And you. Don't start."
"I didn't say anything!"
"You were about to."
"I swear, you people are impossible."
Arlecchino quietly laughs into her cup while Capitano watches the exchange with the patient silence of someone who has long since accepted that this is simply what a Harbinger tea party looks like.
For a moment, Ajax just sits there, listening to their bickering.
And somehow, it feels like home than his own house.
***
Today is the day Ajax departs for Liyue. Time is too tight for him to return to Morepesok and bid farewell to his siblings, so he settles for writing a letter and promising to send them gifts from his journey. It happens exactly the same way in his previous life, and the familiarity leaves a dull ache in his chest. He hates that, even with a second chance, some things remain beyond his control.
"Tartaglia."
Ajax turns at the familiar voice and finds Capitano walking toward him. The harbor stretches behind them, crowded with soldiers, merchants, and sailors preparing for departure, while the cold Snezhnayan wind carries the sharp scent of salt through the air. It takes nearly six hours to reach the harbor by train from the palace, so seeing Capitano here is unexpected—especially because this never happens in his previous life. Back then, Ajax leaves without telling him.
"Captain?" Ajax blinks, surprise quickly overtaking his face. "What are you doing here?"
"I'm here to give you something." Capitano reaches inside his coat and hands him a sealed letter. "Give this to a woman named Madame Li. She owns a boutique in Liyue. I've commissioned several sets of clothing for you."
Ajax stares at the letter, then at Capitano. "Captain, that's—wait, you commissioned clothes for me?"
"You'll need them."
"I'll be fine with what I have."
"No, you won't." Capitano's tone is calm but firm, leaving little room for argument. "I know you. You'll bring nothing but your usual Snezhnayan attire and convince yourself that sweating through three layers of fur is perfectly reasonable."
Ajax's mouth opens, then closes.
"... I would not—"
"You would."
"Okay, maybe I would."
Capitano continues, almost patiently explaining something obvious to a particularly stubborn child. "Liyue's climate is considerably warmer than Snezhnaya. It doesn't snow there year-round, and you won't be surrounded by freezing winds every time you step outside. You need clothes suitable for the temperature."
Ajax lowers his gaze to the letter in his hands, fingers tightening around its edges. "You really didn't have to do this."
"I know."
The simple answer makes Ajax's chest tighten.
Don't do this.
Please. It's just make things more difficult for him.
Every thoughtful gesture from Capitano feels like a blade pressed against an old wound. Because Ajax remembers. He remembers the war, the blood, the losses. He remembers Capitano's death. He remembers the will left behind, and the knowledge that one day, this man standing before him will be nothing more than a memory.
He takes a slow breath and slips the letter into his coat. Then, gathering every ounce of courage he has, Ajax reaches forward and takes Capitano's gloved hand.
Capitano immediately stills.
Ajax's fingers tremble slightly around his. He has never seen Capitano's face. The man is always hidden beneath armor and that imposing black mask, as though the Captain himself is something untouchable. Yet somehow, throughout both lifetimes, his presence is one of the few things that makes Ajax feel safe enough to keep moving forward.
"Captain," Ajax says quietly, his usual grin nowhere to be found. His eyes are unusually serious. "You need to stay alive."
For the first time, Capitano's hand shifts beneath his grip.
Ajax swallows. "You're someone I really look up to. So I want to keep sparring with you. I want to fight beside you for a really, really long time. So—"
—please don't die, the rest is left unsaid.
Capitano is silent for a moment before releasing a soft sigh. Then, to Ajax's complete surprise, his free hand rises and settles gently on top of Ajax's ginger hair.
"I am not going anywhere," Capitano says, his voice quieter than before. "You're the one leaving the country. I believe I should be saying that to you."
Ajax's eyes widen slightly before his expression melts into a small, helpless smile. The warmth of the headpat sinks through his hair, strangely comforting. Even his own father never gives him gestures like this. Somehow, Capitano manages to fill a place Ajax never realizes is empty—a distant, awkward sort of father figure buried beneath layers of armor and an intimidating reputation.
It's strange, but Ajax finds that he doesn't mind.
The harbor bell rings in the distance, signaling that the ship is preparing for departure. Ajax reluctantly releases Capitano's hand and takes a step backward, his coat fluttering in the cold sea breeze.
"I'll be going now, then." His eyes sparkle beneath the pale Snezhnayan sunlight as he gives Capitano a bright smile. "I'll take my leave, Captain!"
"Try not to blow up Liyue or anything, alright?"
Ajax almost choked on his breath.
Technically, he is going to wake an ancient god beneath the harbor, unleash a massive monster, and come dangerously close to blowing up half of Liyue.
Oh well, that is a problem for future Ajax.
"You should have more faith in me!" Ajax protests, laughing a little too nervously.
Capitano's shoulders rise with what might be a quiet chuckle. "I'll believe it when I see it."
Ajax turns toward the ship, desperately hoping Capitano can't see the guilt written all over his face.
Yeah.
He can't promise that.
Maybe Sandrone is right this time.
***
"What the hell is wrong with him?" Ajax asks, pointing toward Vlad, who clings to the ship's railing like the ocean itself is personally trying to drag him into the afterlife.
"Seasick," Ekaterina answers flatly.
"This is hell," Vlad groans, his face paler than the snow covering Snezhnaya. His knuckles are white from gripping the railing. "I can see the gates of Celestia."
Ajax bursts out laughing. "Hang in there! We should reach Liyue tomorrow morning."
"That's hell—urgh!"
Vlad barely manages to turn his head before emptying the contents of his stomach into the sea.
"Gross," Nadia mutters, wrinkling her nose as she takes several steps away.
Ajax waves a hand in front of his face. "Alright, everyone, try to get some rest. Once we reach Liyue, we're going to be incredibly busy."
"I'd rather get slaughtered by a Hilichurl than ride this damn boat," Vlad groans, wiping his mouth.
"Shut it, Vlad." Ajax tosses him a small bottle. "Here. Take a health potion."
Vlad stares at it with genuine horror. "The smell of that thing is making me even more nauseous."
"Don't be picky!"
Ajax leaves his subordinates behind to continue bickering, their voices fading beneath the groaning of the ship and the endless crash of waves against its hull. Once inside his chamber, the playful smile slips from his face. He has work to do. He will be staying in Liyue for an entire year, and the moment he arrives, there will be meetings with the Qixing, appearances as the Northland Bank's representative, accounts to review, documents to sign, debts to collect, reports to write ... the list alone makes his head ache. For someone who spends most of his life fighting until his knuckles bleed, being forced to sit behind a desk and wrestle with paperwork might actually be a more terrifying punishment.
And yet, he already done this before.
He has disguised himself as a diplomat once already. He has smiled, negotiated, attended meetings, shaken hands, and pretended that every word coming out of his mouth is carefully measured. He knows exactly what awaits him. The thought alone makes him groan. "Don't complain, Ajax." He lightly slaps both cheeks, forcing himself to straighten up. "You've got this."
He sits at the small desk in his cabin, opens a notebook, and begins writing down everything he remembers. Names. Events. Dates. Conversations. Mistakes. Anything that might become useful later. His handwriting grows faster as the memories return, filling page after page until the candle beside him burns low.
Ten months.
That's how long he spends playing the diplomat before the Traveler finally enters the picture.
Ten months of paperwork, meetings, negotiations, and pretending to be nothing more than an obedient Fatui representative before he secretly begins setting his real plan into motion—the release of Osial.
Ajax's pen stops.
He stares at the page.
"... Seriously?"
A bitter laugh escapes him.
Looking back, the whole thing feels ridiculous. He spends months orchestrating an elaborate scheme, manipulating half of Liyue, fighting the Traveler, and nearly drowning an entire harbor, only to discover that the entire operation is nothing more than a test arranged by Zhongli.
Yeah, right. Him.
Ajax leans back in his chair and exhales slowly.
What is he supposed to do about that man?
Should I avoid him?
It would certainly be easier. Zhongli isn't necessary for his mission, and staying away from him means Ajax doesn't have to reopen wounds he barely knows how to carry. Besides, ten months without Zhongli might be lonely, but loneliness is easier than seeing him again and remembering how their friendship ends.
Ajax closes his eyes.
Not yet.
He isn't ready.
***
"Childe."
The voice comes from behind him.
Ajax stops.
He doesn't turn around immediately. He already knows who it is. That voice—the warmth hidden beneath the guilt, the hesitation that wasn't there before. Slowly, he turns his head.
Zhongli stands before him, his amber eyes fixed on Ajax with an unfamiliar desperation. The usually composed man looks almost painfully human now. His shoulders are tense, his expression stripped of its usual dignity, and there is something raw in his gaze that Ajax has never seen before.
"Please," Zhongli says quietly. "Hear me out. I beg you."
Ajax stares at him.
For a moment, there is nothing but silence.
Then he laughs. It's short, cold, and completely devoid of humor.
"You think this is funny, Professor?"
Zhongli's expression falters.
Ajax takes a step forward, his eyes burning with anger. "You think I'm a mere pawn? Something you can move across a board whenever you need me, then throw away when the game is over?"
"Childe, that is not—"
"Don't."
The single word cuts through the air like a blade.
Ajax's hands curl into fists. His shoulders tremble, but he refuses to look away. Beneath the fury is something far worse—a deep, aching sense of betrayal that threatens to consume everything else.
"You knew."
Zhongli falls silent.
"You knew who you were. You knew what you were doing. You knew exactly how this would end, and you still let me dance around your little game like some idiot."
"Childe—"
"Don't call me that."
The anger in his voice drops into something quieter, somehow more frightening. Ajax steps closer until there is barely any distance between them, his eyes cold enough to rival the Snezhnayan winter.
"Gods really are selfish creatures, aren't they?"
Zhongli's golden eyes flicker.
"They play with human lives, make their plans, move their pieces, and then call it necessary when someone gets hurt."
Ajax smiles, but there is nothing warm in it.
"And a mere human like me?"
His voice lowers to a whisper.
"I'm nothing to you."
The words hang between them.
Zhongli looks at him as though Ajax has struck him.
But Ajax doesn't stop.
"Maybe that's all I ever was."
A convenient little Harbinger who is useful when pointed in the right direction. He remembers the anger. The humiliation. The way his chest burns when he realizes that every conversation, every battle, every step he takes in Liyue is part of someone else's carefully constructed game.
And yet, beneath all that fury, another memory surfaces. Because Ajax doesn't hate him.
He hates that he still cares.
***
"Lord Tartaglia, may I come in?"
The knock against the cabin door pulls Ajax out of his thoughts. His eyes linger on the half-filled notebook before he quickly closes it, burying the memories beneath a stack of papers. For a moment, the gentle rocking of the ship is the only sound in the room, accompanied by the distant creak of wood and the muffled crash of waves against the hull.
"Yeah," Ajax answers, rubbing his temple. "Come in."
The door opens, and Ekaterina steps inside with a neat stack of documents pressed against her chest. Her expression is composed as always, though her eyes immediately flick toward the scattered papers on Ajax's desk. She says nothing about the mess. She has worked with him long enough to know that questioning it will only create another problem.
"After we arrive in Liyue, there's someone named Andrei waiting for us. He's the manager of the Northland Bank there." She places several documents on the desk and carefully straightens the stack. "One of Lord Pantalone's men gives these to me before we depart. They're related to the bank's operations, accounts, and some local arrangements. They should be useful once we take over our duties."
Ajax reaches for the documents, flipping through them with a surprisingly serious expression. "Thank you, Ekaterina." He pauses when he notices she doesn't immediately leave. Instead, she remains standing across the desk, arms loosely folded, watching him with an expression that makes Ajax suspicious.
He slowly lowers the papers.
"... You have something else to say, don't you?"
Ekaterina sighs through her nose, as though mentally preparing herself for an exhausting conversation. "My Lord, I know your brain is mostly occupied with fighting, training, and finding increasingly creative ways to get yourself into trouble."
Ajax's eyebrows rise. "That's a very unfair assessment."
"I'm not finished." She raises one finger. "You can leave the accounting work to me. I'll handle the ledgers, reports, and other tedious matters. You just need to remember one thing."
"What?"
"Please don't start a war in Liyue."
Ajax stares at her.
The ship rocks gently beneath their feet.
"That's what concerns you?" His expression slowly twists into genuine disbelief. He places a hand against his chest as though personally wounded. "Seriously? What am I, five?"
Ekaterina's lips twitch.
"Sometimes, you feel like five."
"The audacity!" Ajax sits straighter, looking thoroughly offended. "I am perfectly capable of behaving myself! I won't cause any trouble. In fact, I can do my job just fine." He points toward the documents with exaggerated confidence. "You seem to forget that my tutor is Pulcinella. I learned accounting from him!"
Ekaterina raises an eyebrow. "I'm surprised you still remember that."
"Of course I remember!"
"I thought you'd forget." She picks up one of the loose papers from his desk and gives him a dry look. "You've spent most of your life fighting people, challenging stronger opponents, and doing things that make everyone around you wonder whether you're trying to get yourself killed."
"That's not true."
"Your entire career says otherwise."
Ajax opens his mouth, then pauses.
"... Okay, that's partially true."
Ekaterina lets out a quiet laugh. "I'm honestly impressed you still remember your accounting lessons. I assumed they disappeared the moment you discovered you could solve every problem by hitting it."
"It's not like I forgot!" Ajax protests, throwing his hands up. "I simply prefer practical solutions."
"Punching people isn't a practical solution."
"It is if the person you're punching is the problem."
Ekaterina stares at him.
Ajax stares back.
"What?"
"Nothing." She shakes her head, though the faint smile betrays her amusement. "I understand now why Lord Pantalone keeps assigning you people to supervise."
"Hey! I was looking for stronger opponents!"
"And ended up hurting yourself."
Ajax's grin falters for half a second before returning. "That's how I ended up becoming the Eleventh Harbinger." He leans back in his chair, folding his arms proudly. "Want some tips?"
"No, thank you." Ekaterina immediately shakes her head. "Being your subordinate is already exhausting enough."
Ajax gasps dramatically. "Ekaterina, you have such a sharp tongue."
"I hear that every day."
"That's not a compliment!"
"I know."
She says it so calmly that Ajax can only stare at her in disbelief.
Seriously, the audacity!