Chapter Text
Steve stood on the steps of the bank, answering press questions. Fury didn't like them to talk to reporters before debrief, but Steve always felt the Avengers had nothing to hide from the American public. And this mission had been very straightforward anyway. A superpowered teenager and his mutant best friend thought the best thing to do with what they'd been given was to use it to take other people's hard-earned money.
"The boys have been handed over to the proper authorities, and I'm confident that the New York justice system will deal with them fairly," he said with his best Captain America smile.
It wasn't a line. Steve believed in the system.
A young lady reporter—female reporter, Steve mentally corrected himself, or just reporter—stuck out her microphone. "Captain, what do you have to say about the claims made by Andrea Sullivan?"
Steve searched his memory. He was almost sure he'd never heard that name before, but she might be one of the countless starlets and celebrities everyone in this decade just assumed to be a household name. "Claims?" he asked.
The gaggle of reporters erupted like a swarm of angry hornets.
"Captain," the young reporter elaborated, the aggressive sneer on her face mirrored in her voice. "About an hour ago, Ms. Sullivan went on national television claiming that you're the father of her unborn child."
Steve's breath stopped. He didn't know what to say. It was impossible. Not only had he never met this woman, he'd never... Well, Steve was just really sure he wasn't anyone's father. But should he tell that to the press? Was this one of those "death knells" the PR people were always warning them about? Would anyone even believe him? "Kid's not mine, I never touched the bird," had been an old, tired line even in the forties.
Suddenly, Tony was by his side. He was still in his armor, but had the faceplate up, giving the press his most blinding smile. "Oh, come on, guys. You know better than that."
All the reporters started yelling over each other. "Is this a denial?" "What do you know about the situation?" "What's the nature of Captain Rogers' relationship with—"
Tony hooked his left arm around Steve's right, squeezing his biceps reassuringly. For a moment, Steve almost lost himself in wonder at the fine motor control the gauntlets allowed, but then a blinding flash right in his face snapped him back to reality. He saw that Tony's other hand was raised and he was waiting patiently, with a wide smile, for the press to calm down.
Amazingly, they did.
"Seriously, folks," Tony said, sounding easy and relaxed as if this was a dinner party, not a disaster for the Avengers' reputation and Steve's good name. "You may have thought you could spring this on Steve and surprise him into some misstep that you could feast on for weeks. But this is me. And you all know how often I've been around this particular block." He grinned. "With no results, I might add. If Tony Stark hasn't been caught in a valid paternity claim yet, does anyone really think it's going to happen to Captain America?"
There were some chuckles from the press corps. The young reporter in the front looked mutinous. Before she could say anything, Tony continued.
"Now, guys, you know the drill. The Captain will, of course, agree to a paternity test."
Steve nodded. He wasn't entirely sure how those worked, but if Tony thought they could prove the truth in some modern scientific way, he was all for it.
Some of the reporters started shouting questions again, but Tony just smiled and waited them out. "We will make no further comment until we have the test results."
"What if it's a match?" a middle-aged, boorish-looking man shouted.
Tony's just rolled his eyes. "Oh please. Do any of you really believe that?"
The young redhead from earlier spoke up. "For argument's sake?" She sounded a lot less demanding than a minute ago.
Tony sighed. "Steve, tell these nice people what you'd do if by some miracle of nature, the kid did turn out to be yours." The mere thought made Steve's head spin. Tony smiled reassuringly. "Just tell the truth," he added, loud enough for the reporters to hear.
Steve swallowed and nodded. "If the child was mine, of course I'd take full responsibility and marry Ms. Sullivan."
The reporters exploded again.
Tony chuckled. He waited till the first barrage of excitement had calmed down and raised his voice. "Clearly, our Captain's not aware of modern protocol for cases like that. Not that he needs to be." He looked around with a wide grin, but challenge in his eyes. "That enough for you vultures? We all know it won't come to that, but if it did, Captain Rogers would do the right thing."
There was a quiet murmur off assent.
"Just one more qu—" an Asian looking woman started.
"No. No more questions." Tony suddenly sounded cold, cutting, harder than Steve had ever heard him. "We gave you what you wanted, and more than you needed. Now, you will drop the matter. Captain Rogers will undergo the test if and when Ms. Sullivan provides her samples. Until then, you will leave us alone about this. No more questions about this issue sprung on him, or any other Avenger. Or our friends, family, coworkers, and staff. Basically, shut up about it till there are real facts.
"Further, I'm under no illusion that you'll keep this out of your assorted rags until there's actually something factual to report. But I'd like to remind you all that I have an excellent legal department. And believe me, it's at Captain Rogers' disposal in this matter. So be very, very careful what you write. Quoting what the woman said, and what we said just now, is fine. Any unfounded allegations, inferences, rumors and speculations, and we will try very, very hard to make a libel charge stick." He grinned wolfishly. Steve had never heard him sound so scary, not even in mid-battle when challenging their attackers. "More than a few of you can ask your bosses how conflicts with my legal department tend to go. None of you will like the answers."
The reporters were quiet. All of them looked solemn, some downright intimidated.
"Now," Tony continued, "Are there any final questions about today's mission?"
The young redhead spoke up again. She looked chastised, all earlier aggression gone. "Thank you for the interview, Captain Rogers, Mr. Stark. And—" She visibly swallowed. "Thank you for your service."
There was a mumble of assent. Someone in the back cheered. Tony's grip on Steve's arm tightened and he pulled him towards the nearest SHIELD vehicle. "Here's where you make a graceful exit." A SHIELD agent opened the backdoor and Steve let himself drop onto the seat.
Tony bent down so their faces were at the same height. "We'll talk when we get back to the tower. But listen to me: do not be worried." He closed the car door and signaled the driver, who took off before Steve could get out the "I'm not."
As he sank back into the soft car seat and reached for his seat belt, he felt a smile spread on his face. He wasn't worried. Not with Tony Stark on his side.