Chapter Text
Damon appreciates the time he gets to spend alone—always has. Ever since he was a child he's cherished the scarce amount of time he got to spend in his room by himself, book in hand as the sun sank away behind him. It was peaceful, tranquil and a proficient way of spending his evening as sleep clung to his eyes.
Even now, as an adult attending college he found that he needed time to be with himself. It was an old habit that never left, one of comfort. More often than not he found himself craving an escape from the loud, bustling student life that left him with a pounding headache. Somewhere he could just be. Alone with his thoughts, taking in the slow passage of time before having to concern himself with assignments and debate tournaments alike.
Unfortunately for Damon, Eden's Garden Academy lacks many of these quiet spots that he once took for granted. It was only natural that at an academic institution such as the one he was attending, most, if not all quiet spots were taken up by students like himself trying to get some peace after a long day.
Nearly every time that he decides to risk it and head over to one of these designated spots he finds that they are either already populated by those faster than he; or were not as quiet as the college proclaimed. Even if he was able to get a few moments of peace it was quickly interrupted by the noise of students making their way through during passing periods or groups of friends loudly chatting during their lunch breaks.
It was unbearable.
Now, Damon was well aware that he could use his dormitory room if he wanted some quality alone time, and more often than not he did take advantage of his single room for just that. But after a while he came to desire a change in atmosphere; somewhere he could get a bit of fresh air and feel the wind in his hair as he catches up on the latest chapter of his book.
So sue him for being a little annoyed that he couldn't find anywhere to relax in peace.
Until he does find somewhere, and completely by chance, too. Apparently if you try hard enough you'll stumble across hidden gems. Unexplored parts of campus that not many bother to travel to, unless bored out of their mind and desperate for an escape—just like himself.
Damon found the small, secluded area behind the dormitory building which was about a fifteen minute walk from campus. It was quite the journey and required going someplace that seemed unappealing to most, which explained why he never saw anyone there. But once you got over that small hurdle you'd find yourself by a large, undisturbed oak tree. It seemed a bit out of place, sure, but it provided enough shade during the warmer months and gave him something to lean against when he was feeling a little restless.
It was the best stroke of luck Damon has found himself with in an extremely long time. Ever since that day he's found himself frequenting the oak tree. At least three times a week, much less than he would have liked. However, even he could admit that the walk itself was a downside. Often he came with a book in hand to get in some light reading or even scroll mindlessly on his social media feed.
(Apparently if you scroll far enough your classmates will start appearing on your feed as well.)
Naturally the best part of this little area was that nobody but Damon seemed to be aware of its presence. Not once in the three months since he's started to attend has he seen even a sign of someone headed over to his secret location—let alone someone at the foot of the oak tree he's grown rather fond of.
Until one day he does; and it's perhaps the last person he wants to see at his spot.
Damon has had what can only be described as a horrifically busy, and stressful day. It started with realising he had forgotten one of his many assignments, a rare mistake on his behalf for forgetting to log it down in his calendar. For someone as diligent as he was, it wasn't often that he forgot to turn in work. So this sudden failure hit him quite hard, especially when it was such an important one.
Due to this mistake he spent the majority of his afternoon studying in one of the campus libraries, catching up on his missed work and preparing for an upcoming debate tournament. It didn't help that his work was piling up, seeming to never dwindle in size. Whenever he thought he was free of work it seemed like yet another assignment popped up out of nowhere. It was even worse when a loud, inconsiderate group of students entered the library—as if they were tasked with making his day worse.
Seriously, was it that hard to stay quiet in a library?
By the end of the day Damon wanted nothing more than to de-stress. His new, unopened book that he purchased just yesterday was still sat in his bag waiting to be opened and the pounding in the back of his head was only growing as the seconds passed.
All he wants to do is to spend some time at the oak tree—his spot. It was something that belonged to him, even if not really. It may sound selfish but after so many months of sitting under the tree during cool summer evenings he's come to see the spot as a sort of safe space. The calm after the storm of a busy day at college, where he doesn't need to worry about the loud, judgemental voices of passer-by's. It's serene.
(Even as the days transitioned into winter and he wonders how long he can get away with visiting the spot before the temperature becomes unbearable.)
As he approaches the area he's become so familiar with Damon finds his mouth curving into a smile; excitement bubbles up within his chest as he thinks about opening up his new, crisp book and getting started on the first chapter. It was such a nice feeling to start a new book, after all.
Until he sees something in the distance. It was unmistakably another person, sat under his tree with their phone in hand, looking to be so lost in thought that they haven't yet noticed his approaching footsteps. What was worse was the fact that the person in questions looked to have the brightest pink hair that Damon's ever seen, meaning it could only belong to one person.
Kai Monteago. Damon felt a scowl coming over his face.
Damon quickens his pace as he walks over to the base of the oak tree, hands on hips as he stares expectedly at his classmate who's only just now noticed his presence. Amber eyes widen as he looks up at him, a small, shy smile coming over his face.
Damon wastes no time getting to the point. "What the hell are you doing here, Kai?" he demands, harsh and cut-throat. If his day wasn't going terribly already it absolutely was now.
Quite frankly it made absolutely no sense as to why the influencer was here in the first place. Even if he happened to stumble across the secluded spot just as he had a few months prior, it made little sense as to why he would bother spending his evening here. After all, he was a popular guy with a packed up schedule, right? Instead of hanging out with his friends why was he here?
"Aha, hiya Damon!" Kai replies, voice shaky as he turns off his phone and drops it into his bag. Damon watches with observant eyes as Kai stands up and brushes any dirt accumulated on his trousers off.
"Hey," Damon replies. "Are you going to answer my question?" he asks, raising an eyebrow.
Kai laughs nervously. "I was just hanging out here after class, y'know?" he answers quietly and if Damon looks hard enough there's a hint of melancholy behind his glassy eyes. But he decides to pointedly ignore it in favour of getting to the root of the problem.
Not to mention he'd rather not deal with the overly emotional influencer given the sort of day he's had. If he has to comfort a clingy, sobbing Kai after what he's been through today—well he thinks he's likely to combust on the spot if it comes to that. The thought alone has him shuddering.
No thanks.
Damon sighs. "What I'm trying to ask is how on earth did you find this spot?" he demands,/ crossing his arms over his chest. Perhaps he was being a little too harsh on him, sure. But its been an extremely overwhelming day for him and seeing the influencer's carefree smile was the straw to break the camels back.
A small pout appears on Kai's face as he mirrors his pose. "I just happened to stumble across it on my walk back from campus, nothing crazy—why do you care so much?" he demands, raising an eyebrow defensively. It seemed that he too, now, was becoming irritated.
Damon takes a deep breath. Honestly he was hoping this day would never come, the day someone threatened to take the one place he found comfort in after a long day; and by an extroverted influencer no less. If Kai was to share this location with his friends then there was no doubt about it—he'd lose his spot.
"It's my spot, so I'd appreciate it if you could leave," he says bluntly, and sure, he might sound slightly childish being upset over something as small as this. But he was emotionally drained after today and the last thing he wanted was to share his space with a loud, inconsiderate and rather whiny social media influencer.
Kai scoffs at him in disbelief. "Are you being serious right now?" he asks, cheeks puffing out in annoyance.
"I am," Damon answers. Why wouldn't he be serious?
Kai stammers at his straight-forwardness, and an offended expression comes over him as he shoots him a disapproving glare. "I can't believe you—this is a public space, y'know?!" he argues loudly.
Unfortunately Damon can't deny the truth behind Kai's words. It was correct that this spot was in fact open to the public and he didn't hold any rights over it, and who got to use it whatsoever. It was, in theory, completely irrational to be asking someone else to leave in when they had gotten there first. But that wasn't about to stop him because apparently out of all the hills he could choose to die on this was where he was laying his claim.
"I'm well aware of that," Damon answers coolly, yet the stone-cold glare he holds betrays his voice, patience growing paper thin. If Kai could just leave and get this over with then he could start reading his new book. But no. Of course, it couldn't be that simple.
Kai squawks. "Then why the hell are you being such an asshole?!" he shouts back, causing him to flinch back in surprise—so loud.
Damon takes a deep breath, rubbing at his temple. "Listen, I've had an extremely busy day and I usually come here to de-stress in the evenings," he explains calmly, yet his eyebrow twitches as he wishes for the interaction to end as soon as possible."I would like to do just that right now without you interrupting me, hence why I am asking you to kindly leave." he bites out, giving him a forced-smile.
Apparently his words didn't come out as kind as intended—understandably enough as he did describe him as an interruption, which he was. He watches as the influencers eyes widen in surprise, pricked with tears as he scoffs loudly before grabbing his keychain-overloaded bag and throwing it over his shoulder, wincing as it jangles loudly.
Who the hell needed so many keychains on their bag anyway?
"You're such a jerk, Damon!" Kai retaliates, voice cracking as he wipes away at the tears threatening to spill out from his eyes. "It's not like I knew you were gonna be hanging out here anyway, and its not like I wanted to spend time with you while you read your dumb books either!" he yells, the weak insult spilling out of his lips in a poor attempt to cover his genuine upset.
"Okay?" Damon scoffs as he moves to unpack his bag, reaching for his new book which has been buried among all of his other study material. He pointedly decides to ignore the petulant pout resting on Kai's lip and his puffy eyes, not quite understanding why he seemed to be so upset at the rejection.
As he said himself, it isn't like he wanted to spend time with him and his 'dumb books' and for that Damon's thankful. If he had to spend any more time with the influencer than he does in class he's sure he'd go insane.
"It's not a big deal. You said you didn't want to spend time with me either so it shouldn't matter," Damon responds, moving past Kai to slide down the back of the tree, staring up at him with a face that says 'please leave.' "Anyway you've got plenty of friends to hang out with instead, right?"
It didn't make much sense as to why someone as popular as Kai would be bothered that a classmate which he hardly interacted with, let alone got along with, didn't want to spend time with him. Not once in their time knowing each other have they had what could be described as a positive interaction; with majority of their interactions being teasing comments from the influencer in an attempt to rile him up.
Damon never engaged with these childish comments, of course. It made little sense to him why Kai was even bothering in the first place, trying to get some sort of reaction out of him whenever the opportunity presented itself. Was he seriously that bored?
Kai clenches his fists, scoffing loudly at his comment before turning his head away from him in what looked to be offense. Clearly his words stung him for which he couldn't understand why. It was true, he was a popular guy, after all.
"Whatever. I shouldn't have expected you to understand anyway," he mutters before beginning to walk away, waving him off as he takes slow steps in the direction of their dorm; head hung low as he mumbles something incomprehensible under his breath.
Damon raises an eyebrow as he watches the influencer fade into obscurity, only looking away once he watches him disappear and head into what only he can assume is the building leading to his room. It was strange, he'll admit, seeing someone as bright and outgoing as Kai reduced to something of misery—genuine hurt in his eyes, not that fake sadness that he puts on in an attempt to be dramatic in front of others.
What the hell was that all about?
Damon quietly wonders what Kai's final comment before storming off meant as he opens his book, skipping through the foreword and straight to the first chapter. It made little sense to him because of course he wouldn't understand the influencer; they were polar opposites living completely different lives, after all.
From the get-go Damon understood that Kai was loud and opinionated—he made his presence in a room known, laughter spilling out of his lips easily as he bounced from person to person; making small talk about his talent seemed like second nature to him. It was even more obvious when his feelings had been hurt, something that was a common occurrence. Each time someone showed disinterest in him an upset pout would overcome his face and he would sink into the corner of the room, sulking for the rest of the night.
It was easy to notice because that overwhelming presence that had his ears ringing was gone within an instance, replaced by an eerie silence that had him feelings slightly uncomfortable; even if the prior was equally as irritating as the former. It felt even stranger when that sound which he had grown so accustomed to disappeared.
Not that he cared—or paid attention to those smaller details, of course. It was just an acute observation about a classmate he disliked.
Damon on the other hand, was nothing of the sort. More often than not he preferred to stick to himself and a small group of people in which he tolerated—respected. Naturally he could be just as loud and opinionated, it was part of the job description as a debater to be a clear and direct communicator. It was easy for him to make his presence in the room known, yet it wasn't handled in the exact same way as the influencer.
Instead it often lead to isolation from his peers, something he didn't mind all that much in the long-run. It could absolutely become lonely from time to time, but when he had the company of his parents and an extremely small circle of trusted friends he found himself rather comfortable with the situation he found himself in. It was nothing like the influencers life whatsoever.
Damon doesn't think he'll ever see eye-to-eye with Kai and he's completely okay with that.
Taking a deep breath he removes any thoughts of the influencer from his mind and quickly returns to his book at hand. A small smile overcomes his face as he observes the cover, pleased with the recommendation Eva had given him the other day. Wuthering Heights.
Damon wasn't worried in the slightest about having to encounter Kai ever again at his spot. It seems like he successfully scared him off with his harsh insults and cold tone and it was unlikely that he would even consider approaching the area again. The risk of being chased away was too high and so a small smile settles on his face at the thought of being able to enjoy his peace once again.
Oh how wrong he was.
Damon returns to the spot by the oak tree the next day as he always does. It's cold out by the time he reaches the dormitory building and it's clear that winter is steadily approaching as he pushes through unkempt shrubbery and weeds alike to reach the field. If he was being completely honest he knew that making the journey this late into the evening wasn't the smartest of ideas but he did it anyway. Not as the temperature continued to drop as the hours passed, causing his teeth to chatter loudly.
The wind was biting as he moves to brush some unkempt hair out of his face, tightening the scarf around his neck, making sure that it was all nice and snug around him. It wouldn't be wise if to get ill after all and with an upcoming debate tournament he'd like to avoid a stuffy nose and sore throat if possible. It's then that he realises that there's a high chance of the pages of his book blowing in the wind, something sure to irritate him—but unfortunately not much can be done now that his mind is set on his destination.
Damon hardly thinks back on yesterdays encounter with his classmate as he hurries over to the tree which he can see in the far distance. In his own mind he easily resolved the issue when he scolded the influencer, making sure that he was so upset that he wouldn't think about returning to his spot. (Even if a bit childish.)
But as he approaches the tree, removing a hand from is coat pocket to dig through his bag for his book, he sees something that surprises him. It's Kai Monteago sat at the base of the tree just like the day prior.
What the hell is he doing here?!
Damon watches in a daze as Kai yawns, a hand coming to cover his mouth. He's holding a book that looks suspiciously like a volume of some sort of manga from where he was stood, a conservative smile on his lips as he flips the page. On his head rests a pair of expensive looking headphones and he periodically taps his foot to the beat as he reads, not having noticed the person quickly approaching. It looks like he's enjoying himself much to Damon's annoyance.
Damon stomps over, feeling his blood boil as he stares down at the influencer expectantly who has finally noticed his presence after being engrossed in whatever book he was reading. He watches as Kai slips his headphones off, dropping them into his lap as he closes his book before giving him a small smile. But he doesn't respond, instead looking up at him with expectant eyes. .
Damon raises an eyebrow. "Are you going to say anything?" he asks coldly, crossing his arms over his chest. If he pays close enough attention then it almost looks like he's tired, subtle eye bags beginning to form. But of course he's not paying close attention, he just happens to be near enough to notice them.
"Hey," Kai answers, flashing him a toothy smile which has him immediately recoiling back.
Why was he being so casual?
Damon takes a deep breath. "What are you doing here?"
Kai laughs heartily as if he should already know the answer. "I'm reading, obviously!" he says teasingly, waving his manga in front of his face; a hand coming to cover his mouth as he suppresses further giggles. "It's like I told you yesterday. I'm here to relax after my classes are finished—just like you are,"
He looks almost hopeful.
A scowl comes over Damon's face as he shoves the book away from his face, watching as Kai yelps, gathering it back up in his hands. "But why?" he demands bluntly, unable to comprehend why he decided to come back. It just made no sense.
"Huh?"
Damon furrows his eyebrows. "I can't understand why you're so insistent on spending your time here instead of elsewhere. Isn't there literally anywhere else you could go?" and it's supposed to sound insulting, supposed to deter the influencer away from him but it doesn't; and he makes no move to continue and force him to leave either for some odd reason.
Instead he lowers himself down to the base of the tree next to Kai, making sure there's a respectable amount of distance between them that it doesn't look like he's being friendly with him, because he isn't. A hand comes to reach in his bag as he grabs his book, sneaking a glance over at the influencer who looks understandably surprised by his sudden cooperativeness to sit besides him.
Damon is just as surprised himself if he's being honest.
Kai stammers at his question and a hand comes to clutch his chest. "A-ah—well everywhere else is like, super busy, y'know?" he he answers nervously, tugging at his hair shyly. "I guess I just figured that this was the best place to read uninterrupted!" he mutters, carelessly picking up his book and flipping to a random page.
He wasn't on that page before, was he?
Damon can't deny that everywhere else was far too busy, after all he had first-hand experience with the problem. It's what led him to the oak tree in the first place, a stroke of luck that he's still appreciative of to this day. Even if it has lead him to now, having to deal with a strangely nervous influencer who looks to be seconds away from an anxiety attack. Seriously, why did he look so nervous?
But based on his own observations Kai never seemed like the type to care about reading all that much. During class he would yawn at his open textbooks with disinterest, resting his head on the desk instead of note taking. So it made little sense as to why he could care about reading outside of class. Perhaps it was the idea of reading for purely enjoyment rather than the expectation of having to read within an academic setting?
Manga did seem pretty in-character for him as well.
Damon furrows his eyebrows as he watches Kai's nervous expression, desperately trying to gauge any ulterior motive that he was possibly hiding. It still left him in a state of confusion as he tried to understand why the influencer would opt to spend the evening with him of all people—perhaps this was all in an attempt to gain more material to tease him on?
No, that seemed to elaborate for someone like Kai. Not to mention pathetic, and as much as he may dislike the influencer he holds enough respect for him to not believe that he'd stoop so low.
As Damon watches he also notices that the influencers cheeks seem to be tinted pink. In fact, that rose colour was only becoming more obvious as the seconds passed. Perhaps he was cold. He observes as amber eyes widen in surprise; a noise that sounds almost like a squeak escaping his lips as he quickly turns his head around, hands coming to cover his face.
Huh?
Ah, perhaps staring at someone you dislike in the eyes so intently wasn't the smartest of ideas. It did come across rather threatening, even if that was not his intention—rather he was trying to gauge whether Kai posed a threat to him. Clearly not.
"Sorry," he chokes out, coughing into his hand awkwardly.
Kai exhales loudly and nods slowly and he watches as a small gold ring slips off his index finger that he anxiously plays with for a few seconds before promptly sliding it back on; chewing his bottom lip which looked rather chapped now that he got a better look at it.
Not that he was staring, of course. It was just another acute observation, that's all.
"I-It's fine, man!" Kai answers meekly, giving him a strained smile. "So, ah, do you mind if I stay?" he asks quietly, eyes sparkling with something that has his stomach churning uncomfortably.
"I guess you can stay as long as you don't bother me," he mumbles, giving him a stern look. Really, he didn't know why he was being so charitable to the other man, so hospitable to someone he openly disliked. Perhaps it was because agreeing to his request was a favourable option over having to deal with him whining at the face of rejection—yeah, that was probably it.
Kai's eyes widen in surprise and he nods enthusiastically. "Ah, thanks, man!" he says energetically, playing with the corner of the page from his book. "I won't interrupt you, promise! I'm your guest and that would be, like, totally rude!" he explains, chuckling nervously.
Damon nods. "Right," and for some unexplained reason, the sight of Kai's enthusiasm has a small smile coming over his face; something that he quickly hides by coughing into his hand and promptly shoving his head in his book.
It was bad enough allowing Kai to spend what is supposed to be his alone time with him, and even worse admitting that there's a small part of him that doesn't mind it. A slither of excitement under all the irritation, something he'll never let the influencer know for he doesn't think he'll live it down. So instead he'll focus on his book, and he'll be sure to stay focused the entire time.
For the next twenty-minutes or so they both read in a comfortable silence that Damon finds himself relaxing into as he flips to the next page of his book. Each time he sneaks a glance over to the influencer he finds that he, too, is engrossed in his manga, a wide smile on his face as noises of excitement escape his lips every few pages.
It must be an interesting manga.
Damon could have never imagined himself in a position like this. It was customary at this point that most of his interactions with Kai involved back and forth bickering, although more often than not it was Kai throwing out petty insults. But now they were both sat together and by choice. He's allowed the last person he could have imagined into his spot. It was a strange feeling, unable to wrap his head around why he was doing this when he could very much kick the influencer out.
He just…did.
As time passes those little excited noises begin to die out, replaced by the sound of soft breathing and slow page turning. It's something that he doesn't pick up on straight away as he tries to read an especially long chapter of his book, his own small noises of disbelief escaping his lips at the particularly tricky wording of Wuthering Heights. It isn't until he hears the sound of something hitting the floor rather loudly that he decides to glance over at the influencer, his concentration broken.
Damon's eyes promptly widen at the sight—Kai has somehow fallen asleep and the sudden noise he heard was the sound of his book clattering to the ground. It lay half open on the grass, about to snap shut and if that happened he would lose his spot.
Was he really that tired?
Damon reaches over, careful not to wake the sleeping Kai, and picks up the book and inserting the butterfly designed bookmark into it where he assumes he was at before dozing off. A curious hand brushes over the cover, observing the characters on the front; a blonde haired young man in a school uniform and next to him, a taller, dark haired man of similar age with a basketball in hand.
Damon hums quietly, flipping through the pages and noticing that the two characters seemed to be rather close. In some scenes the darker haired boy looked to be blushing with wide eyes at what he assumes is his friend. Is this one of those boys love mangas that he overheard Toshiko talking about sometimes?
Deciding that now was probably not the time to become invested in whatever high-school romance manga Kai was reading he reaches over yet again and carefully places it in his bag for safe-keeping. Better to not lose it, after all.
Damon glances back over at Kai and notices that he's still fast asleep, not once reacting to his subtle movements. His head is positioned in a way that could only be uncomfortable, and he's sure his neck is going to ache if he continues like that. His lips are slightly parted as he ever so often scrunches his nose in a way that makes him look almost childlike. Damon stares for a few seconds too long, only realising how long he's been watching when the influencer makes a sleepy noise—immediately he turns away and takes a deep breath.
A frown comes over his face as he considers what course of action to take. Realistically he knows he can easily wake Kai up, scold him for falling asleep when he swore not to interrupt him and watch as tears prick his eyes. But he doesn't, and he doesn't really feel like addressing why he decides to give him the benefit of the doubt and let him sleep despite how uncomfortable he feels.
Ultimately he settles for shifting closer, close enough that their shoulders are brushing up together. Bad idea apparently because immediately, as if subconsciously picking up on the warm body next to him, Kai slumps against his side; and he watches as his head comes to settle against his chest, a soft noise escaping his lips.
What the hell?
Damon can't help but freeze up, unsure of what to do in a situation like this when he could have never predicted this possibility. He slowly moves his head, careful not to wake the influencer up. As he observes the peaceful expression on his face as he sleeps he finds that his heart begins to race for reasons he can't and doesn't want to explain. Kai looks to be so relaxed, almost at peace, completely unaware of the inner turmoil going on inside the head of the person he was slumped up against.
What the hell was happening with him?!
A shaky breath escapes his lips and he clenches his fists together as he continues to watch, feeling his cheeks warming as his heart thuds in his aching chest—but why? It has to be anxiety, surely the nervousness he was feeling was because he was in a situation that he was unsure of how to handle. Yeah. It has to be that.
Damon stares up at the the cloudless sky, noticing just how dark it has gotten in the past hour. Once again he wonders how long he can get away with this behaviour before it gets so dark that by the time he arrives at the base of the tree it will be near pitch black out. The idea of not being able to return to this spot has a frown tugging at his lips.
Just for a second Damon allows himself a moment of respite, desperate for a moment of peace as he tries to calm his uncooperative heart that races unnecessarily fast. It's something he still can't explain as he drags a hand down his face.
"Why did this have to happen to me of all people?" he groans quietly, eyes quickly darting over to the influencer yet again to make sure he hasn't woken up from his slumber, and thankfully he hasn't. Instead he's still sleeping like he was some sort of prince, blissfully unaware of what was happening in the real world. This seemed like the sort of crap to happen in one of those romance mangas Kai seemed to read.
But unfortunately this was real life and Damon was completely clueless of what he was supposed to do in a situation like this, probably one of the last people you'd expect to see starring as one of the main characters in a romance manga.
It's then, as he continues to watch a sleeping Kai that he notices pink, dyed hair spilling over Kai's face as he slept. It looks rather uncomfortable he thinks to himself, eyes narrowing at the sight; and before he can stop himself his hand is moving, brushing it from the influencers eyes, tucking some of it behind his ears.
What the fuck was he doing?
Damon is thankful that Kai happens to still be asleep. Although he's not sure how considering everything that's happened the past few minutes. But he's sure that if the case was otherwise he'd never live this interaction down, and he would much rather not have that happen; he would like to keep his dignity in tact, thank you very much.
But what now?
Damon carefully reaches for his phone which is on the top of his bag and glances at the time and a chews the bottom of his lip. It's nearly six-o'clock already, far too late to be staying outside considering the fact that he hasn't even eaten dinner yet. Not to mention the dropping temperatures and the darkening sky that will soon be pitch black. If he's going to start making his way back to the dormitory then it should be now.
But when Kai is asleep what exactly is he supposed to do?
…
Wake him up, of course. It's the most obvious answer and quite frankly he doesn't even know why he's dwelling on the question in the first place; since when did he care about the sleeping influencer anyway? It wasn't like him to be so attentive towards others, especially Kai and taking into consideration how he seems to be comfortably asleep resting against his side should be the least of his concerns when his hands are starting to go numb from the cold.
Shaking that thought from his head Damon shifts slightly to wake Kai up. Gently he shakes the other mans shoulders, calling out his name in hopes that it will wake him up from his slumber sooner or later.
"It's time to wake up, Kai," he murmurs quietly, a soft sigh escaping his lips.
Soon enough the influencers eyes start to flutter open like the wings of a butterfly and a small yawn escapes his lips as they look up to sleepily gaze at Damon—and then close again almost immediately!
Damon squawks. Seriously?!
It's not until he's shaking him much harder and calling his name out louder than before that the influencer finally wakes up; blinking slowly as he attempts to gain his bearings, not looking to be fully conscious just yet. Damon wouldn't admit it out loud but the sight of him looking to be so groggy and confused was rather funny.
It's obvious, however, the moment that Kai realises where exactly he is, fast asleep on the chest on his classmate as he suddenly jerks back, an undignified yelp escaping his lips as he stares up at him in horror.
"It's getting quite late and I wanted to get back for dinner," Damon explains casually, fighting back a yawn as he stares at the ever growing embarrassed face of the influencer. "I assume that it's the same case for you as well." he hums quietly.
Kai doesn't answer though, face flushed red from and a hand comes to cover his mouth, muttering something incomprehensible under his breath as his other free hand tugs anxiously at his hair. It's a sorry sight, really.
"Shit—I'm so sorry, dude!" Kai apologises profusely, nervous laughter spilling out of his lips as he starts to mess with one of the many golden rings on his hands—an anxious habit, it seems because he doesn't dare to look him in the eyes.
Seeing the influencers flushed face has Damon feeling equally as awkward and he feels his own cheeks beginning to burn against his will as a small sigh escapes his lips, rubbing the back of his neck uncomfortably as he tries to find the right words to say.
"It's fine," he answers quietly, swallowing the lump settling in his throat, feeling his heart hammering in his chest. It was a strange feeling, and he doesn't know what exactly to think of it. "However, you need to start sleeping properly if you're going to fall asleep so suddenly, especially in the middle of a field in the midst of winter." he scolds, giving him a disapproving look as he stands up.
"Right…" Kai mumbles quietly, not looking to be completely present as he follows in action, stretching his arms over his head.
Damon sighs, shaking his head. "If it wasn't for me I don't know what you would have done, falling asleep all by yourself in a place like this—it's dangerous," he reprimands, eyes narrowing at the influencer as he picks up his bag from the ground.
Honestly Damon doesn't know why he cares so much. It shouldn't concern him whether Kai puts himself in dangerous situations like this or not. If he's going to be irresponsible and put his well-being at risk then that's his fault, obviously. But he does care for some reason, and through all of it he hopes that his genuine concern doesn't show.
"Yeah, you're right!" Kai answers nervously, picking up his own bag and throwing it over his shoulder, still looking to be rather embarrassed about the whole situation as he trudges behind him on their walk back to the dormitory building.
Damon nods. "I put the book you were reading in your bag, by the way," he informs, glancing over at the sullen looking influencer. A frown comes over his face as he coughs into his hand awkwardly. "Out of pure curiosity what exactly is that manga about? Is it one of those…boys love mangas?" he asks, genuinely curious as to what he was reading.
A beat of silence passes as Kai freezes in his spot for a split second before proceeding to burst out into unadulterated laughter, doubling over as a hand comes to weakly clutch at his stomach.
"Why the hell are you laughing?!" Damon scowls, stepping back to stare at the influencer with angry eyes.
Kai is still giggling, any semblance of embarrassment gone as he wipes a tear from his eyes and he shakes his head as a hand comes to cover his mouth, the other reaching out, trying to block his vision. Damon shifts, trying to see past his hand and look at his face. It's real, genuine laughter unlike Damon has ever heard before from the influencer and it has him freezing, chest tightening.
Huh.
"I-I'm so sorry! Oh my gosh!" Kai answers weakly as his laughter finally begins to die out, taking a deep breath before giving him an apologetic smile. "I just can't believe that the Damon Maitsu is asking about bl manga—imagine if people found out, hehe!" he snickers, falling in step with him as they continue to walk.
Asshole.
Damon glares at him, giving him a slight shove. "Don't you dare tell anyone about this!" he demands, feeling the heat rising to his cheeks. If this gets out he's sure he'll never recover from the humiliation. Toshiko for sure would make sure he remembers, daily.
Kai throws him a toothy grin. "Fine! Fine!" he giggles and his eyes are practically watering from just how much he's been laughing—it's a sight that has his heart fluttering. "But how exactly do you know about boys love manga, Damon?" he asks teasingly, blinking his eyes at him innocently and he watches as a tear quite literally falls down his cheek.
It couldn't be that funny.
Damon sighs. "I only know about through Toshiko since she talks to me about the manga she reads sometimes," he explains, giving him a knowing look. "Anyway, you still haven't answered my question yet. Is it one of those boys love mangas—it sure as hell looked like it." he observes.
Kai nods happily. "Ah, yeah, it is!" he answers cheerfully before a confused expression comes over him, eyebrows furrowing. "Wait—did you look through the manga, Damon?" he asks, and it's obvious he's stifling laughter once again.
Damon rolls his eyes, already wishing he never asked. "I just skimmed through it, that's all," he answers, thinking back to the different panels he saw that depicted what could only be described as a romance manga. "What exactly is it about, though?" he asks, curiosity piqued.
Kai's face practically brightens at this question, eyes sparkling light a child on Christmas day and Damon does his best to try and ignore how the sight makes his chest warm, breath catching in his throat.
"It's about these two high-school boys who are roommates. One of the dudes is a second year on the disciplinary committee—he kinda looks like a delinquent but he's actually more like a mother-hen!" he explains enthusiastically, face animated as he talks. "Oh! The other guy is his kouhai and he's on the basketball team!"
Damon hums, listening intently for whatever reason. "I see. It must be interesting then since you looked to be really into it earlier on," he observes, thinking back to how the influencer would giggle every five seconds—before he fell asleep, of course.
Kai nods shyly. "Aha, yeah," he replies meekly. "Oh! You should totally read it, Damon!" he says, a pleading smile on his face.
Damon narrows his eyes at him, unsure. "I don't know. I don't really read manga anymore and romance isn't a genre I'm well versed in," he explains, ignoring the fact that romance is a prominent theme in the book he's currently reading—even if the main relationship was rather unhealthy from his perspective.
Kai makes a pouty face at this, puffing his cheeks out. "Oh come on!" he begs, gently shaking his arm which has him recoiling backwards—the influencer simply laughs. "I'll get you to read it one day, Damon!" he promises, a cheeky smile coming over his face.
Damon chuckles quietly, shaking his head at the mans antics. "If you say so, Kai," he answers, finding it funny just how serious Kai seemed about getting him to read what looked to be one of his favourite manga series.
It's as they walk that Damon realises that the way they're talking, so casually, so easily—it makes them seem like friends, feeling almost comfortable or relaxed as they talk. It's a strange feeling since he's never once considered the influencer to be a friend, quite the opposite in fact. So having the ability to talk to him so aimlessly, conversation coming so easy to him as laughter spills out of his lips is a new feeling, yet not an un welcomed one.
"What are your plans for tomorrow?" he finds himself suddenly asking Kai, a curious look coming over his face.
Kai's eyes widen at this and that earlier flustered expression on his face returns, cheeks burning red as he glances over at him shyly, not wanting to be seen. A small sound of surprise escapes his lips which he immediately tries to cover with a hand to the face.
Damon frowns. "What?"
Kai gives him a shaky smile. "I-It's nothing!" he babbles, grip on his bag tightening ever so slightly. "It's just—the way you worded it kinda made it sound like you were gonna ask me on a date or something, I guess!" he jokes nervously, biting his bottom lip. "Are you?" he asks quietly, sounding weirdly serious.
Damon's eyes widen and he momentarily mirrors Kai's flustered expression before regaining his composure, taking a deep breath. "I'm not asking you on a date," he answers sternly, giving him a concerned look, wondering how he even got to that conclusion. "I was just wondering whether you were coming to the tree tomorrow, that's all." he admits, voice turning into something of a mumble at the end.
Kai nods quickly, panicked. "Yeah! I knew that, dude!" he laughs loudly, obnoxiously, even; averting eye contact as he moves to stare at the ground. "I—uh, I can't though. I have to edit a bunch of photos for a post on my page tomorrow, you see!" he explains, lips curving upwards.
Awkward.
Damon nods. "I understand," he says plainly, desperately trying to ignore the pit in his stomach at the answer he received. There was no way he was upset that the influencer would not be joining him at the tree tomorrow. He was annoying, after all—an unnecessary distraction to his time spent alone and most certainly not an exception.
"Uhm, why were you asking though?" Kai's small question brings Damon out of his thoughts, a hint of blush remaining on his cheeks, lips quivering slightly; from the cold he assumes.
"I was just curious, is all," Damon answers coldly, hoping that the influencer accepts his response as it is and doesn't look any farther. But unfortunately for him the slight frown on his face, cheeks almost puffed out in a sort of pout betrays his alleged disinterest.
Kai giggles. "I can drop by the day after, though!" he answers enthusiastically as they approach the front of the dormitory building, squeezing through all the shrubbery, nearly tripping over one too many prickly plants in the process. "I guess it would be a good way to finish the next volume of my manga too!" he continues shyly, as if suddenly realising how out of character his enthusiasm seemed.
Damon finds his breath catching in his throat, surprise coming over his face as he stares at the influencers awkward expression. Why, despite everything, did Kai still insist on spending time with him—and why didn't he feel so opposed to the idea?
Just yesterday he would have vehemently denied this proposal, would probably snap at him about how he didn't care for his company; didn't need his presence when he was much happier by himself, reading all alone in the evening as the perfect way to de-stress. Yesterday he did kick him out. So why was he genuinely considering allowing the influencer to join him?
Suddenly the prospect of spending his down time with someone else, with Kai Monteago didn't seem all that horrific—it seemed almost appealing, exciting even. Perhaps it was genuine curiosity, a desire to understand more about the influencer who was willingly offering to spend time with him instead of his many friends. Reading alongside him even if their taste in books were ever the different, sticking to his word of not distracting him. (Besides falling asleep, of course.)
It felt that as if out of nowhere he was comfortable letting someone into his spot. The one place that had come to be special to him and swore he would never let anyone into for fear of his peace being interrupted, corrupted. So why was he about to let Kai Monteago into this place, someone he swore he couldn't tolerate, someone he couldn't see eye-to-eye with.
Why was he different?
"Yeah, sure," Damon chokes out, realising he's been silent for far too long that would be deemed acceptable.
Kai's face brightens at this. "Ah, awesome! I'll see you tomorrow then?" he asks excitedly, and he looks genuinely excited, eyes sparkling once more—like a little kid who's just made their first friend. It's almost cute. Almost.
Damon nods. "Yeah," he mumbles, making sure to avert eye contact. It's hard trying to hide the small smile that comes over his face but he can't deny it: a part of him genuinely looks forward to tomorrow, even if he'd never admit those words out loud.
It's a few days later and Damon is spending the entire day in anxious anticipation waiting for his scheduled meetup with Kai. Honestly he's not sure why he's looking forward to it as much as he is, foot tapping impatiently as he sits through his last class of the day; eyes on the clock more than his open document as he watches the minutes slowly tick by.
Eventually the lecture comes to a end and without even considering how enthusiastic he may look to the people around him he stands up, chair squeaking loudly behind him as he reaches for his bag to pack up his belongings. As he's haphazardly chucking his notebook into his bag he notices someone stood next to him—It's Kai.
"Heya, Damon!" he calls out, peering over and into his bag to see what he's doing. Soft laughter escapes his lips as he observes his messy looking bag, a rare occurrence for someone usually so organised in his belongings. "Ah, are you getting ready for later on?" he asks curiously, gripping onto his own keychain-adorned bag.
Damon coughs awkwardly into his hand, feeling somewhat embarrassed about being caught in the act of his own excitement, especially over something like meeting Kai at an oak tree to read a book. It was quite pathetic in his opinion. "Yes, I was just making sure I have everything," he answers, zipping his bag shut and placing it over his shoulder. "And you?"
"Oh, well I wanted to tell you that I'll probably be by there in like twenty-minutes give or take!" he says, a hand coming to rest on his chin. "I have to make a quick stop to my room to grab my manga since I forgot it this morning!" he chuckles nervously, giving him a small apologetic smile.
Damon nods understandingly. "If that's the case then I think you should also go and grab your scarf or at least something to cover up since it's going to be pretty cold outside," he suggests, a disapproving look on his face as he observes the influencers less than acceptable outfit choice considering the weather. "I noticed how cold you looked yesterday."
Kai giggles, and a hand comes to cover his mouth. "Yeah?"
Damon frowns. "Yes?" he answers, crossing his arms over his chest. "Why are you laughing?"
Kai shakes his head. "I'm sorry! It's just the way you said it—it almost sounds like you care about me," he teases, cocking his head to the side. "Do you care about me?" he asks, voice dropping to a whisper.
A startled noise escapes his lips and his eyes widen in surprise as processes what Kai's just said to him. Not wanting to be seen he ducks his head low in an attempt to hide his flustered expression, feeling his heart racing in his chest, hammering. Why the hell was he getting so embarrassed?!
It wasn't like he really cared all that much about Kai, right? It was just another acute observation about the state of his appearance, and really, he doesn't want to be responsible for another classmate getting sick because they neglected their health to spend time with him. That was all.
"Shut up!" Damon sneers, shooting the influencer an irritated glare. "Why don't you just go and grab your scarf, hm?" he says through a strained smile. "I'm going to head over to the spot now and try get some light reading in, so I'll see you there." he hums, gently pushing Kai away from him and into the direction of the door.
"Asshole…" Damon mutters under his breath as he watches as Kai bursts out laughing, catching the attention of a few people in the room—notably one of his younger classmates who he briefly locks eyes with before turning back to the influencer.
"I'm leaving! Don't push me, please!" Kai laughs, eyes pricking with tears as he waves his hands in the air, moving to the door he quickly waves him goodbye before leaving. "I'll see you soon, Damon!" he calls out in a sing-song tone as he exits the room.
Damon can't stop himself from chuckling as he watches the influencer leave the room, giving him a small wave back as he watches him disappear into the hallway. Taking a deep breath he regains his composure, shaking his head as he tightens his grip on his bag.
Maybe spending time with Kai wasn't as bad as he thought. For as annoying as he could prove to be he was also good company, and for whatever reason he didn't feel like pushing him away anymore. Instead he was interested in where their friendship would progress form here, they felt like polar opposites after all and that made for an intriguing pair.
Damon's about to start making his way to the tree before he feels a small hand on his shoulder which causes him to flinch. But when he turns around to scold whoever it is he realises he has nothing to be afraid of. Standing in front of him, eyes wide and blinking innocently is Toshiko Kayura and she looks to be stifling laughter.
"Toshiko?"
"Good afternoon," she greets him, fanning herself gently with her fan as she glances over at the door where Kai was just seconds ago—a small chuckle escapes her lips. "I was not aware that you were this close to Kai Monteago, Mochi!" she hums, her interest clearly piqued as she glances back over at him. "So close in fact that the two of you are meeting up discreetly, all alone!"
Damon stammers, surprised at her sudden and rather direct comment. Clearly Toshiko wasn't one to hide her intentions when it came to this sort of stuff. "I don't know what you're on about, Toshiko," he answers, taking a deep breath as he stares down at the shorter girl.
Toshiko giggles, nodding at him slowly as if she knows something that he doesn't. "I was just hoping to inquire about something, Mochi," she begins, a quizzical expression coming over her face as she stares intently at him, like she's searching for something hidden. "Is there something romantic going on between you and Kai?"
…
What?!
"I-I'm sorry what are you suggesting?" he demands angrily, desperately trying to hide his flustered expression. Apparently everyone was trying to humiliate him today with rather obscene questions and this was by far the worst. "I can assure you that me and Kai don't have anything going on we're simply—" he pauses. Actually, what were he and Kai?
Now that Damon sits with the question it's not something he's given much thought to, really. Whatever they had developed in the past few days, a strange bond over books and a need to escape the bustling college life, was it something to be labeled and if so what exactly were they?
Toshiko laughs coyly, picking up on his confusion. "You are simply what, Mochi?" she asks and it's clear she's having a lot of fun teasing him as she stares intently into his eyes—it's almost creepy. "As from my perspective it seems that there may be romance brewing between the two of you! Of course, you can trust my judgement on this topic, right?" she asks sweetly.
Damon stares at her in a daze. Is she being serious right now? "No, I don't think I can trust your judgement, Toshiko," he scowls, crossing his arms over his chest, not wanting to deal with whatever bullshit she was spouting. "Me and Kai are just friends, that is all." he clarifies. Yeah, friends. It seems like the most appropriate terminology to use given recent events.
Toshiko nods calmly. "I see that is how you interpret your relationship, then," she responds dutifully, but there still looks to be something on her mind as she narrows her eyes at him, shaking her head in presumed disapproval. "I don't suppose you've picked up on the influencers rather obvious crush on you, then?" she asks, cocking her head to the side.
What?
Damon makes a choked noise. "I'm sorry—what?" he asks in disbelief, struggling the process the young girls words, unable to wrap his head around the rather loaded accusation towards the influencer. "I'm sorry, there's absolutely no way that Kai has feelings for me!" he disputes loudly, deciding not to believe her words for just how absurd they sounded.
Toshiko may be the Ultimate Matchmaker, a talent he's still not sure how to feel about if he's being completely honest; but that did not mean he had to agree with all of her judgements, and he doesn't. Especially when they sounded so foolish, childish and baseless accusations that held no merit to them whatsoever. In what world would Kai of all people develop romantic feelings for him, after all?
It was insane.
Toshiko scoffs, and an almost offended expression comes over her face, muttering something incomprehensible under her breath, clicking her tongue in irritation. It's then that Damon gets all but seconds to prepare before he's been whacked around the head by an decorative fan, the sound being rather horrific.
"What the fuck was that for, Toshiko?" Damon yells, reaching to soothe his throbbing head.
Toshiko laughs weakly. "I apologise, Mochi!" she says through gritted teeth, yet he finds it hard to believe that her apology is sincere if the way she rolls her eyes is anything to go by. "But you must understand that my actions are justified. After all I do not believe I have ever met someone so…so profusely dense!" she exclaims loudly, clicking her tongue in disgust.
Did that really warrant physically assaulting him though?!
"I don't know what you're talking about, Toshiko," he snarls, seconds away from storming off. Being called dense by a fourteen year old has to be up there for one of the worst insults he's received. The comment itself was nothing, it was merely the fact that a literal child who just so happened to be his classmate had the audacity to comment on his love life.
Toshiko huffs. "It is so painfully obvious that Kai Monteago harbours romantic feelings for you, Mochi!" she declares, pointing an accusatory finger in his face which has him jerking backwards, a horrified look on his face. "I don't know how you haven't seen how he actively seeks out your attention every single day, even if not in the most conventional of ways," she says, voice trickling off at the end.
Huh?
"What do you mean?" Damon answers, still not believing her words. In fact he thinks he's less inclined to trust her claims after the blatant assault on his life, which was very rude might he add. "I'm sure he's just looking to bother me—or befriend me, I guess," he argues back, unable to deny his curiosity ever since he and the influencer developed some sort of companionship.
Could Toshiko really be right?
Toshiko rolls her eyes, sighing loudly. "Oh my goodness, Mochi…" she mutters, looking to be growing increasingly irritated with his denial. "My, have you considered why he is so insistent on spending time alone with you in the first place? I saw how terribly excited he looked to spend some quality time with you later!"
Damon pauses. "I…don't know?" he admits quietly, eyebrows furrowing as he takes in her words; surely it didn't mean anything, right?
Could it be possible that Kai's story that he just so happened to stumble across the oak tree one day by chance was actually a cover-up. If it was true then that would mean that he had actually seen Damon head to that spot, day after day, and only went there as an excuse to spend time with him. A convenient lie on the tip of his tongue.
"No way.." he mutters under his breath. It sounded impossible, but if Toshiko was right and Kai really did have romantic feelings for him; what exactly was he supposed to do? How was he supposed to confront it, if at all?
Toshiko snickers. "It looks as if you finally understand, Mochi!" and it's more than obvious she's finding great pleasure in watching his suffering.
Damon shoots her a glare. "Shut up, Toshiko!" he snaps, taking a deep breath as he tries to gather his thoughts, failing almost instantly. "What the hell am I supposed to do?" he asks, a frown on his face. It's not like anyone's ever had feelings for him before, this is a completely foreign experience to him. Perhaps asking a literal child for advice isn't his proudest of moments but he has little choice at this point.
Toshiko hums curiously. "I suggest you take the time to think over these new developments," she answers, fluttering her eyelids at him, teasingly, mockingly. "Ah, and perhaps pay attention to your own feelings, Mochi. I will be here, as always, to give advice if necessary!" she says cheerfully, giggling quietly to herself.
"What?" Damon answers dully, furrowing his eyebrows. "I don't know what you mean when you say I should pay attention to my own feelings. I don't—" he pauses, eyes widening in realisation as yet another strained noise escapes his lips for perhaps the fifth time today. "You're not suggesting what I think you are, Toshiko?" he asks quietly.
Toshiko cocks her head to the side. "I don't know, Mochi. Am I?" she repeats sarcastically, and although he can't see her the lower half of her face, obscured by her fan, he's sure she's grinning widely right now; if the way her cheeks puff up is anything to go by.
"Toshiko," Damon scowls, narrowing his eyes.
"Ah! It's getting rather late, Mochi! I have places to be, so I think I shall see myself out!" she giggles nervously, taking her bag before tailing it for the exit. "I wish you look in your romantic endeavors! Do treat Kai gently, will you?" she says warmly before practically running out of the door leaving him alone to sit with his thoughts.
Damon gives a bewildered look. "That brat…" he mumbles as he heads for the exit himself and by the time he reaches it Toshiko has already gone, her little legs must be fast as she goes God knows where. (Probably to harass another one of their classmates about their love life, he presumes.)
To say he was at a loss would be an understatement. The news that Kai allegedly had romantic feelings for him was surprising to say the least, a development he couldn't see coming from a mile away. As someone who's never once taken those sort of thing into consideration the thought of a classmate having feelings was strange—especially when it's Kai Monteago she is accusing.
But what's even more baffling is Toshiko's suggestion that he pay attention to his own feelings, as if suggesting that he, too, has developed romantic feelings for his new friend.It sounded utterly absurd. For as clueless as he is, he's sure that he would at least realise if he developed feelings someone.
But for now he shoves those troubling thoughts down, something he wishes to do forever but knows he can't. But that was a problem for a future Damon. As is stands, he has places to be, and if he wants to get to the oak tree and having at least some peaceful reading before Kai shows up then he needs to hurry.
Damon is able to get at least ten minutes of quiet reading in when he hears the quick pattering of footsteps and an enthusiastic voice calling out his name. It's Kai, of course, a large smile on his face as he hurries over to the base of the tree, waving his book in the air as if to prove he's not forgotten about their meetup.
"Damon!"
Damon looks up from his book, mouth curving into a small, affectionate smile as he lifts a hand to wave back as Kai hurries over, unable to stop the laughter that escapes his lips at his enthusiasm. Not to mention the fluttering feeling in his chest that he can't ignore, causing him to suck in a breath.
Is it because he knows how Kai feels about him—or his own, conflicting feelings?
"You seem excited," Damon observes calmly as he watches Kai sit down next to him, leaning up against the tree as he laughs nervously, a yawn escaping his lips as he turns to look over at him. Its almost sweet. Almost.
"Is it so bad to be excited?" he asks, smiling from ear to ear as he nudges him playfully before turning to point down at his winter scarf. It's pink and matches the colour of his hair almost perfectly. "I didn't forget to wear my scarf like you said!" and there's this almost innocent look on his face as his eyes sparkle, as if looking for praise. Like some sort of dog.
Damon hums, looking him up and down. "Good job?" he answers bluntly, raising an eyebrow at the way Kai's cheeks puff up into a childish pout. He snorts. "What? You seriously expect me to praise you for putting a scarf on?" he says, a hand coming to cover his mouth as he watches the influencers lips twitch.
Kai gasps. "Uh, that is not the case!" he replies, placing a hand on his chest dramatically. "I don't need your praise, Damon!" he huffs, shaking his head. It's that easy, light-hearted teasing that has the tension in his shoulders fading as laughter bubbles up in his chest.
"If you say so, Kai," he hums, feeling rather pleased with himself as he glances over at the influencer who's opening his book. "Is that the same manga you were reading yesterday?" he asks curiously.
Kai nods excitedly, showing off the cover. "Yeah, it is!" he answers cheerfully before giving him a sly, mischievous smile on his face. "Are you sure you're not interested in reading it, Damon?" he asks sweetly, leaning in closer to his side. Damon promptly ignores the way it makes his heart stutter.
"Not right now," he huffs, shifting away and putting some distance between him and Kai. It's only because he doesn't like sharing his personal space, that's all—nothing more.
Kai's eyebrows raise. "Oh? Not right now?" he observes cheerfully, snickering. "Does this mean that you'll consider reading it at some point?" he asks innocently, showing him the book cover once again, as if showing him what he's missing out on.
Damon rolls his eyes, sparing one final glance at the book cover. It did look rather interesting much to his annoyance. "Just shut up and read your book, Kai," he huffs out, shaking his head before picking his own book up.
Kai laughs airily before turning away and opening up to where his bookmark is slotted in; and Damon quietly hopes that he guessed right and placed it in the right spot yesterday. Going off the small smile on his face, it seems he did a good job as the influencer immediately goes back to reading, with Damon quickly following in suit with his own book.
The next twenty minutes go by peacefully, like the day before. Damon concludes that he made a good decision in listening to Eva's book recommendations and makes a mental note to thank her later. Perhaps they could even discuss the content at a later date, after all he knew that despite being the Ultimate Mathlete she found great joy in other things, classical literature included.
Reading alongside someone else is less annoying as he imagined, although perhaps that's because he's with Kai. Honestly he's unsure if he'd be able to focus the same way with anyone else, which is strange because he believed that if anyone was to cause him a great distraction then it'd be the loud and whiny influencer. But he was sorely mistaken because when he glances over to see if he's given up on reading he sees Kai so absorbed in his book that he doesn't even notice that he's being watched.
Guess the manga really is that good, huh.
Damon finds himself so relaxed in fact that he doesn't even flinch when he feels Kai leaning into his side, a small gasp escaping the pink haired mans lips as he flips the page, most likely seeing something exciting happening between the characters if the giggling that follows is anything to go by.
Damon yawns, turning the page to his own book and his eyes grow heavy as he takes in the words on his page, brain beginning to struggle to process what's happening as he rereads the same sentence for the third time. It's not that Wuthering Heights is a bad book, it's just sometimes he feels there are too many words on the page and after over half an hour of intently focusing, everything seems to get all jumbled within his mind.
Thankfully for Damon it seems that Kai is also beginning to grow restless as he closes his book, dropping it to the ground beneath him dramatically. It causes him to jump, shocked out of his own inner turmoil as he glares at the influencer who simply gives him an apologetic smile.
"Watcha reading, Damon?" Kai asks curiously, leaning over to get a peak at his book, eyebrows furrowing in intrigue. "Mm…"
Damon grunts, moving the book away from him. "Why do you care?" he asks, unsure as to why Kai is so interested in what he's reading. It definitely doesn't seem like the sort of book he'd get much of enjoyment out of considering his current read of high-school romance.
Kai scoffs. "Jeez, God forbid I'm interested in your hobbies, dude!" he groans, cheeks puffing out into a childish pout as he sneaks yet another glance at the front cover.
Damon stares at him incredulously, rolling his eyes at the immature expression on his face. "I don't think you'd understand it, anyway,"
Kai gasps in offense. "Are you calling me too stupid to understand your books?!" he yells, clenching his fists as tears prick at his eyes—crocodile ones, no doubt.
Damon doesn't answer, deciding to look away from him instead.
"Ugh! You're so rude, Damon!" he cries out, clicking his tongue. "I can be smart, too," he mumbles, putting a hand on his cheek as his bottom lip puffs out in yet another childlike pout.
Damon stifles laughter at his whines, raising an inquisitive eyebrow at him. "I didn't say anything about you being stupid though?" he answers back in mock confusion and he has to take a deep, grounding breath in order to stop the way his mouth curves into a small smile.
Kai shakes his head disapprovingly. "Eyes speak louder than words, man!" he exclaims, pointing an accusatory finger at him.
Damon nods slowly, smirking. "And you assumed that my eyes were calling you stupid?" he clarifies.
Kai sniffles. "Yes! Why else would you be looking at me like that?!" he bawls, wiping at his eyes, that childish pout still present on his face as he glares at him, and Damon doesn't know if to laugh or feel bad for him and his pathetic display.
"I can assure you that I'm not calling you stupid, Kai," he assures the other, figuring that if he goes on any longer there will be much worse consequences to deal with, such as real tears. "It's just that the book Im reading doesn't seem like the sort of thing you would enjoy." he explains, looking down at the boys love manga the influencer was currently reading.
Kai frowns. "What book is it then?"
Damon sighs, closing the book and showing him the cover. "It's Wuthering Heights,"
This gets an offended noise from Kai as he gasps, snatching the book from his hand before observing the cover with wide eyes.
"What the hell?!" Damon yells, staring at Kai in disbelief.
Kai glares at him, eyebrows furrowing. "I can't believe you think I don't know what Wuthering Heights is, Damon!" he snaps, clicking his tongue at him as he flips through the pages. carefully observing some of the passages, nodding in understanding. "I read this a few years ago and my memory is kinda hazy, but like, it was a good book!"
Damon is genuinely surprised by this information. It really didn't seem like Kai was the type to enjoy classical literature, especially something like Wuthering Heights; a book that was often regarded as difficult to read and absolutely not beginner friendly. He quietly wonders if this means Kai has read other classical literature.
"I assumed that you would have at least heard of it since it's pretty popular but I didn't think you would have actually read it," Damon mutters, gently taking the book back from the influencers hands, checking for any damage.
Kai chuckles. "Yeah, it was like, super hard for me to understand and I got really mad at it sometimes if I'm being totally honest," he admits, rubbing the the back of his neck awkwardly. "I think I'd go pretty crazy if I was living on the Yorkshire Moors, though. I don't know how the characters did it!" he jokes, a small smile on his face.
Damon nods in agreement. "I suppose they wouldn't know any different though, if they were born and raised on the Moors then a life of isolation and limited social interaction would be their norm," he explains, finding it enjoyable being able to talk about something like this with another person. "Although I guess isolation can manifest in different ways, even on the Moors…" he mumbles in consideration.
"I guess your right. It must definitely suck, though!" Kai laughs quietly, looking to shudder at the thought alone of being trapped on the Moors, and as he speaks there seems to be something equivalent to melancholy in his eyes, as if there's something he wants to say, to add on—but doesn't.
"Unlike you, someone who's spent the majority of their life in the city, with a large social group and an abundance of friends—you'd know the difference," Damon explains, thinking back on just how many friends the influencer had. If he were to suddenly be isolated from that, he's not sure how the other would react, he can imagine it wouldn't go down well, though. "If you were in 1800s England, however and grew up in the Moors then you wouldn't know any different."
Kai nods and there's something subdued about his expression, lips pressed into a thin line. "Do you think you could live on the Moors, all alone and isolated, Damon?" he asks quietly, cocking his head to the side as he stares at his expression intently. It's almost uncomfortable.
Damon considers the question carefully. "I'd probably struggle being isolated from society for so long," he admits, trying to put himself in the shoes of the characters in Wuthering Heights. It makes him furrow his eyebrows in consideration. "Although I do understand isolation to some degree. I spent the latter half of my childhood isolated from my peers, and in a way I grew used to that feeling of loneliness—I came to appreciate it." he mumbles, thinking back on his younger years.
It may also partly be because he was an only child if he really thinks about it. Even if he had an extremely close relationship with his parents they didn't speak much to their extended family, having no cousins around his age also meant for more time to be spent alone in the confines of his own room. It wasn't uncommon for him to spend extended periods of time alone in the house when his parents were at work; leaving in the early hours before he was even awake and arriving home just in time for dinner.
Damon had grown to appreciate solitude as he grew up. It was part of the reason why he was so sure on finding somewhere to de-stress when he started college, overwhelmed by the busy student life that had been suddenly placed upon him. But that didn't mean he could live in complete isolation. No, he still had a small group of friends and he needed to speak to people in order to partake in debating tournaments—it was a part of his job, after all.
"I could probably handle it for a few weeks at most before needing an out. I might spend a lot of time cooped up in my room studying for debates but I still need that freedom, that choice to go and see others." Damon continues, thinking that he would very quickly come to miss the presence of his parents, knowing that he couldn't easily see them when in such an isolated part of England. He glances over at Kai who's still listening intently.
"Yeah, I figured," he agrees, giving him permission to continue talking.
"I suppose it would be harder for someone like you though," Damon says, not missing the way Kai frowns deeply at this comment. Why? "You're a lot more sociable than me from what I've gathered and you always seem to be around a group of people. I can't imagine it would be easy not having your friends around anymore."
Kai nods. "I guess you're right. I would probably get pretty sad not being able to see my friends after a while, who wouldn't?" he asks, voice coming at a little exasperated as he taps his foot anxiously. "But—" he pauses, a frown tugging at his lips.
"But?" Damon pushes, curiosity piqued.
Kai sighs, turning to look at him; a pout rests on his lips as he sends him an offended glare, which only leaves him more confused than before. "I'm a lot more lonely that you might think, Damon," he says harshly, arms crossing over his chest in disapproval. "You know, for someone who seems to be so observant of my life, I'm surprised you haven't noticed yet."
Huh?
Damon pointedly decides to ignore the comment on how observant he is about the influencers life and instead focuses on the matter at hand. It surprises him, hearing the other man admit that he feels lonely; he'd come so used to seeing him surrounded by others, walking through the hallways in large groups, always a smile on his face as he listens to his friends talk. But has he been incorrect all along? Has he completely misinterpreted the situation at hand?
Was Kai really that lonely?
"What do you mean?" he decides to ask, curious as to what Kai could possibly mean. "I always see you hanging out with a bunch of people, not to mention you're a social media influencer with a large following. I just assumed that—"
Ah. Maybe that was the problem. Making assumptions about someone he didn't really know all that well and being so sure in his convictions. Damon has already wrongly assumed that Kai would be a distraction, an annoyance and a burden on him if he kept visiting the oak tree day after day. And although he could be loud and sometimes bothersome, he was also good company. An unlikely friendship between them was blossoming, one he could have never expected to have.
And if Kai had feelings for him…Damon felt even worse about his ill-intended assumptions about the influencer.
"I do have friends, you're not completely wrong about that. But it's not all like that," he begins, frown still present on his face as he tries to explain exactly what he's feeling. "I guess that even though I'm surrounded by all these people I still feel, like, super lonely," he mutters nervously, tugging at his hair anxiously.
Kai takes a deep, shaky breath. "I dunno why but even in a big group of people I feel out of place and un-welcomed. I just feel like I don't belong, y'know?" he rambles, voice shaky as he talks.
Damon's eyes widen in understanding. "Is that so?" he mumbles, intrigued and wanting to know more; an ache in his chest forming as he listens. It's not something he expected to hear but he's learned very recently that perhaps making assumptions about others just like has with Kai isn't the smartest of ideas.
"Y-yeah," Kai admits, sniffling as he rubs at his tear pricked eyes, a sorry sight, really. "I just—I feel like I'm trying to fit in with all these people and I wanna be cool to them, I guess." he babbles, and he's completely opening up to him for reasons he's yet to understand as whatever protective barrier he has placed up collapsing instantaneously, any and all worries spilling out.
Damon nods, showing that he's still listening, quietly encouraging him to continue.
"A lot of people don't take me seriously 'cus of my talent and I get teased sometimes," Kai continues, hands shaking as he reaches to fiddle with some of the many golden rings on his fingers. "I dunno if it's because of my looks or whatever, but I just feel like that despite being surrounded by so many people I'm constantly fading into the background—I always have," he mumbles, voice trailing off at the end, quiet and melancholic.
Damon hums. "I would have never guessed," he admits, unable to shake off the guilt of misunderstanding the influencer as he watches him open up him, perhaps the first time he's spoken so freely in a long time. "Is that why you've been spending a lot of time with me recently, instead of these so called friends?" he asks, cocking his head to the side.
Kai nods meekly, wet laughter spilling out of his lips. "Ah, yeah…" he answers, cheeks flushing with embarrassment.
"Huh…" Damon mumbles, still unable to understand why him? What made him so different from all these other people. Especially when he could be so rude, so dismissive and arrogant to others—especially towards Kai whom he's only shown genuine kindness to in the past few days. Before that he behaved the same way to him as he would most people, so how? It made even little sense to him how Kai grew to develop feelings for him, all things considered.
"A lot of what of what people assume about me is a lie," Kai answers weakly, chewing at his bottom lip anxiously. "Most of what you see online is. It's dumb stuff like how I don't like to wear hats or whatever, but also—uhm," he pauses, voice shaking. "Anything about my weight is a lie, too." he whispers, swallowing loudly.
"I see," Damon mumbles, not all that surprised that Kai takes on an online persona, being a social media influencer in this climate it only makes sense the he might have to falsify parts of his identity. It was as clear as day that he was insecure about his appearance, and he can tell that just admitting the information available online about his weight being a lie was difficult.
"Yeah…" Kai breathes out, clutching at his chest. "So when I meet people face-to-face I guess I kinda panic and get all defensive cus' It's not as easy to hide the truth in person—not when I can't hide behind the screen and ignore all the stupid things people say about me!" he laughs nervously. "It's why I like, hate meetups with my fans," he explains, a forced smile on his face.
Damon frowns. "You only post certain stuff online. It's easy to curate your social media account and hide all the bad parts, I guess," he ponders, trying to recall the layout of Kai's social media page, something he's only looked at once or twice. "But in person you can't do that so easily. Suddenly everyone can see you for who you really are behind the camera, huh?" he observes, watching as Kai's face distorts into one of sadness.
"I get scared," he admits quietly. "I do all of this so that I can fit in, I guess. I know It's totally lame or whatever, but I do it anyway…" he mumbles, voice shaky.
"I don't understand why you're telling me this, though," Damon admits, trying not to sound so harsh with his words when someone's opening up to him, he has at least that much respect for the influencer despite everything. "What makes me different? Why are you so comfortable opening up to me when I've been nothing but rude to you since we met?"
It was true, after all. Ever since the day they met he's been nothing but insulting and dismissive to Kai and his talent, judgemental towards someone he thought he understood. Every teasing comment would be met with a snarky insult or an irritated roll of the eyes. Not once has he ever shown genuine interest in Kai up until the past few days since developing their more than unconventional friendship. So for him to choose him of all people, someone who he couldn't be sure would take in his words, listen to his struggles and even relate; it made no sense.
"I guess I thought you would understand how I felt," Kai admits, voice barely above a whisper as he continues to talk. "I dunno why, but you just—you looked like you knew about isolation and found comfort in being by yourself and I thought because of that you might be able relate to me," he rambles on.
Oh.
Kai chuckles nervously. "I know It's kinda dumb but you gotta hear me out, alright!" he pleads, a small, sad smile resting on his lips. "I also knew that you didn't really know about me from my social media before we met based on our first interaction so you wouldn't have anything to compare me against I guess,"
Oh. Damon was absolutely not going to tell him about the three or so times he's looked him up on his social media in the past few months, acts of pure curiosity and motivated by nothing but boredom he swears. The most recent absolutely wasn't yesterday, either after he heard that Kai was going to be posting something new on his page. It was a piece of information that the influencer definitely didn't need to know, not now, or ever, actually. But it all made sense now.
"Whatever. I shouldn't have expected you to understand anyway,"
Kai came to him that day wanting to be friends, or rather something more but that was besides the point. It was perhaps, like Toshiko had claimed, not in the most conventional of ways, but he did it regardless. In fact, he had wanted to be friends with him for a while, or at least have a mutual understanding with him; one built on respect and a shared understanding of isolation.
Instead of getting that, though, Damon had pushed him away, dismissed his non-harmful intentions to be his friend and asked why he couldn't bother his other friends instead, friendships that he likely didn't have. Despite being surrounded by so many people there was a lack of trust, a lack of understanding among them all—nobody really knew who Kai was behind his online persona or cared to know him, for that matter.
Everyone was just people he knew but didn't have a close bond with, no strong connections to be considered as anything but a group of people he spoke to during passing periods. It wasn't friendship, it was people he walked on eggshells around, unsure of their motivations and unable to really be himself with without that fear of being judged.
Kai was lonely, he realises. A lot more isolated than he had imagined, never taking into consideration how someone can seem popular, well connected and fulfilled but could actually feel disconnected from reality. And yet Kai wanted that with Damon—real friendship.
Shit. He actually felt bad now.
"I might not be able to fully understand your situation and I don't think I ever will," Damon begins, voice trained to be perfectly still as he speaks. He knew how sensitive the influencer could be and when handling a conversation like this, well, he wanted to avoid any unnecessary issues. Tears, mainly.
Kai nods slowly. "I know," he whispers, looking deflated, head drooping—as if he's already decided that that's it, that Damon will never understand him and opening up about his feelings was all for nothing.
Damon furrows his eyebrows. "But—" he continues sternly, shooting Kai a serious glare, forcing him to pay attention; he takes a deep breath, rubbing at his temple. "I can understand that feeling of loneliness," he admits quietly, chewing on the bottom of his lip, close to drawing blood.
Kai's eyes widen and he looks up at him curiously. "Huh?"
Damon sighs. "And…I don't mind spending time with you like this, if that's what you'd like," he murmurs, feeling the heat rising to his cheeks as he keeps his eyes trained on Kai's face, wanting him to know he's completely serious.
"W-what?"
Damon clicks his tongue. "Did you not hear what I just said?" he answers, perhaps too harshly as he crosses his arms over his chest, feeling uncharacteristically embarrassed. "I usually like to spend evenings like this by myself, and usually I wouldn't make any exceptions to that rule," he explains, trying to ignore the way Kai's lips wobble as he listens to him speak.
"Usually…" Kai whispers.
" I guess you might just be that exception," he groans, putting his face in his hands, trying to conceal his flushed face; knowing that if he has to look at those hopeful, sparkling amber eyes for a second longer he's going to combust. Why does it make his heart flutter to admit that he likes spending time with him?
"A-are you being for real right now?" Kai asks in disbelief, wet laughter escaping his lips.
"I am being for real right now," Damon clarifies, mumbling quietly to himself—why did he have to ask for confirmation when saying the damn thing was already so humiliating in the first place?
"Thank you, Damon," Kai chokes out a sob as he speaks, rubbing at his wet eyes and he flashes him a smile, one of true, genuine happiness, his smile lines visible. It has his heart skipping a beat and he actually has to grab at his chest to stop the ache he feels.
Damon nods. "It's fine, I guess," he answers sharply, trying to settle his aching heart as quick as possible but failing miserably because for whatever reason Kai is doing things to his heart that he'd not ready to address. "Do you want to get back to reading now?" he asks, hoping to change the topic because he knows his heart can't take anymore.
"Ah! Yeah!" Kai nods excitedly, opening up his book once again to where he left it. "I've got the motivation to read again, now." he answers cheerfully, a soft sigh escaping his lips as he scans the page to find what panel he was on.
Damon opens his own book, staring down at the pages, finding that the words are no easier to process now then how they were just ten minutes ago, brain still struggling to understand just what was going on. He finds himself yawning as he glances over at Kai's who's back to happily reading his manga, looking to be nearly finished with the volume as well.
"Maybe I'll consider reading that series of yours one day," he says out loud, eyes trained on the pages he can see from where he's sat. Both characters looked to be blushing rather furiously at the moment and the blonde one was yelling, although he couldn't be sure what about. It looked interesting enough, though.
Immediately Kai gasps, turning to look him straight in the eyes in disbelief. Once again, they sparkle, sending a slight shiver down his spine. "Really?! You aren't joking, man?" he asks excitedly, leaning into his side and he might as well be glowing.
Damon gulps, already beginning to regret his decision. "Yeah, I'll read it," he mumbles, turning his head away to hide the way the flush on his cheeks is only rising by the second. "Don't get too excited, now otherwise I won't read it all," he scolds, a scowl on his face.
Kai giggles, a hand coming to suppress his laughter. "Alright! Alright!" he replies, but there's a cheeky smile on his face as he looks at him before picking up his book again, humming quietly to himself. "I can't believe you're actually considering reading, bl, Damon," he hums teasingly.
Damon rolls his eyes. "Shut up," and all he gets in response is further laughter that he can't help but return.
The rest of the evening goes peacefully and Damon finds himself able to finish another chapter of Wuthering Heights much to his surprise and he sighs loudly when he finally closes the book, head pounding. It was definitely a lot to digest but he was still enjoying it nonetheless, thankful for the recommendation from Eva.
It felt calm sitting with Kai, almost serene as they read together in silence. The only sound to be heard being the occasional flipping of pages and quiet groans of annoyance escaping his own lips when he reaches a particularly difficult line, always eliciting quiet giggles from the influencer much to his annoyance.
Damon finds that perhaps he was right in saying that Kai was the exception, as surprising as it is. Despite all his best efforts to convince himself that the influencer was an annoyance, an un-welcomed presence; he can't help but feel himself relax beside him. It's easy to do, feeling the tension from the day leave his shoulders as he allows himself to get sucked into his books, hardly even phased by the thought of someone sharing what was supposed to be his space.
But with the newfound knowledge that Kai harboured romantic feelings for him, he's not sure how long he can go on like this, go on knowing that this new friend of his wanted to not just pursue a friendship with him—but something more.
It's a thought stays with him as they walk home together and as he eats dinner accompanied tonight by Kai who slides into the seat beside him like they've been friends for years. It stays with him as he climbs into bed that night and stares up at the ceiling, resorting to counting sheep as he tries to fall asleep.
It shouldn't bother him, really. But when he has the words of Toshiko filling his mind, it's hard not to. Especially when she could be so cryptic in her messages, as if she knew more than he did. Toshiko knew all the pieces to the puzzles to his mind and he was still yet to find all four corners, let alone the final piece.
"Ah, and perhaps pay attention to your own feelings, Mochi."
That night Damon dreams about intertwined hands, soft, endearing touches on bare skin and swears he can he hear the fluttering of beautiful butterfly wings as he drifts in and out of consciousness; and although cannot see them as he sleeps when he wakes he swears he can visualise them, pretty pink things as the phantom touch of the little insects landing all over his skin consume him.
There was no way he had feelings for Kai, right?