Work Text:
1
It's may when Maki met Harua. He found it funny because they met when it was late spring, and Harua is Harua, which makes Maki, silly bartender Maki, make a stupid joke about his name and the season, which of course Harua hated. He gave Maki a flat smile and asked for his matcha strawberry latte, sat at the table close to the window, earphones on, just watching the horizon until he left exactly an hour later, putting back on his mask and cap as if he didn't want to be recognized.
Maki can't help but be curious about their new customer. He's used to mysterious customers coming and going. Samidare's spot in the city, hidden from the eager tourists' eyes and loud sounds of the main streets, draws attention of the ones who want some peace, and Harua seems to be looking exactly for it.
Peace. But he looked so down, dark bags under his cat-like eyes and a wrist brace that caught Maki's eyes when he handed him his card, black and with some company name, Maki tried not to spy, because he's used to it too, artists and other important people that meet here just because it somehow became a secret place for them, and most important of it with employees who don't spy or share their secrets. And with Harua it wouldn't be different.
Maki knew that wasn't Yudai's idea when he opened Samidare, a coffee shop-slash-bakery high at the top of a mountain with a beautiful view of Mount Fuji right after he retired and got married to Takayama Riki, another famous singer that grew up at Koga Yudai's side, but even so, his name, and contacts got most of their regular special customers.
When Maki started working here he was warned of their strict policies about their customers. Jo, his favorite coworker who gave him his training, had handed him a paper with rules and said, when he realized Maki wasn't going to read all that, to just don't fall in love with any of the customers, they are out of our league, he had said, and by the hurt on Jo's eyes that he tried to brush off with a chuckle, he knew to follow that specific advice, specially when Nakakita Yuma, dancer and singer, who regular visits the coffee and always gives Jo a special snuggle tooth smile and it somehow explained all Maki needed to understand of it.
Maki knew he didn't stand a chance since the first day, and yet he waited to see that handsome face again.
2
Harua showed up when they were about to close. The coffee was empty. Jo went home because he needed to finish a commission, because of course he's an artist too, just Maki was this stupid boy with no talents that was still trying to figure out what do with his life, in his twenties Maki knew he was young, everyone told him it, but he still can't help feel the time slipping through his fingers. Besides that, he didn't care to close the store alone, even if Jo said he could leave early tomorrow, Maki really didn't care, so he said his line, caught Harua's order and watched him sit at that same spot, watching the horizon and so lost in his thoughts Maki couldn't help want to know everything.
Watching the horizon on Samidare was their flagship for sure. The top of Mount Fuji far away but yet so close, covered with that snow that never melts-
"Sometimes I think it is a creation of our imagination."
Maki was taken back by the sudden voice. Harua didn't seem like someone who starts chatting with strangers, he must want to talk, Maki wondered and yet, Maki answered, dumbly, "Uh?"
Harua didn't turn to look at him, "Mount Fuji. It never changes."
"I was thinking the same thing! That snow never melts, it's weird." He chuckled, looking at Harua, watching a small smile tug at the corner of his lips.
His hair grew since the last time he visited, not that Maki paid that attention, but he has a good memory, what can he do? It is also darker, curling around his nape and falling down his eyes. The wrist brace also went away, he wondered if Harua was better. He couldn't ask anyway.
"It's weird but it's beautiful." Harua said, looking at the mountain.
"It's beautiful." Maki said, looking at Harua.
He shook his head right after. He can't look. He caught a small flannel from the drawer and started to clean, he needed to close even if he would stay all the time Harua wanted. He wished Mount Fuji was a lie, that time was a lie too, that they were not getting older or late.
"It must be nice to work here, and get to see it everyday." Harua turned at him. Maki felt his eyes burning on his back. He didn't turn around.
"Yeah, kinda is. I get to disassociate with a pretty view." Maki joked.
Harua chuckled, in a cute way Maki shouldn’t notice, "I may want a job here if everything goes wrong-" He realizes what he said a beat too late, Maki didn't care, he found funny how Harua waved his hands in front of him, "Not that it means things went wrong for you, oh my god. I'm sorry-"
Maki wanted to take away the hands that Harua used to hide his face in embarrassment. He liked to see Harua's frustrated face. Harua's not exactly wrong, things didn't go wrong for him but they didn't go right either.
Too many failed attempts of a degree took him here. He's not sad, he's okay. Maki gets to pay the rent and have free time when he wants, he gets to travel when he wants and buy the things he wishes, it's okay he doesn't have the perfect life and instead got a simple one. Life is not perfect and it's all gone one day anyway. He always needed to repeat it to himself.
"It's okay, Harua. Whatever happens, I will save you a spot on Samidare ."
Maki hoped he didn't need to, but Harua smiled at him and that being the second on the day felt like a big win.
Harua leaned on the table, propping his chin on his hand, and covering his eyes from the sun that comes from the window and that brightens his seems to be so soft hair, "I never got your name."
"Maki." Maki gulped. He's really beautiful.
"Thank you, Maki, but I'm horrible as a coworker, be aware."
Maki laughed and for a moment he forgot he needed to close or that Harua looked so down when he arrived.
3
The only bad thing about late spring is that leaves fall and every day right after opening he needs to clean the front of the store. It's good that he liked the morning air or he would find some way to push it to Jo to do like he does at the evenings they work together.
Maki believes Jo wants to quit. His commissions were taking a lot of time and he's leaving every day early so he can work til late hours to finish them, and Maki understands if he quits even if he will miss his favorite and only coworker that shares shifts with him. He doesn't know about Euijoo and Nicholas who take the opposite shift, but he thinks he will soon, sooner than he imagined.
He wonders about Nakakita Yuma, what will he do when Jo no longer works here to him to come every other day and flirt with Jo without knowing he is breaking his heart?
Will they exchange numbers? Jo would never ask. Yuma would, Maki believes in him.
They would be a nice couple. Jo is shy and Yuma is loud but he talks softly with Jo and asks about his paintings. Maki knows he already commissioned an art from Jo, he respects and encourages his work, and yet Jo doesn't realize Yuma is down as deep as him.
Maki was sweeping the last of the leaves when Harua's low hi took him from his reveries.
"Oh! Hi, Harua."
Harua visits were also being every other day. Since they talked about Mount Fuji they always found a little thing to comment now. Maki tried not to think about it too much. He better not, he knew. But sometimes Harua would showed up when Maki was about to close, and Maki would end up leaving too late to almost lose the last train, just because him and Harua were talking about a new anime they started watching and got lost on the time. Other times in the middle of the day, when the store was so busy Maki couldn't pay too much attention to him, and still Maki would watch him sat at the same table seeing lost on his own thoughts and making Maki wants desperate to lose himself on them too.
However, never early in the morning. Maki was also never here in the morning, working just the second shift til the close time, but today Nicholas had some plans and Maki had to change with him. Jo couldn't come because he had classes, so it was just Euijoo and him. Maki didn't meet Euijoo before, but he's nice and the customers love him, so Maki was okay with him too, his second favorite coworker now.
"You're never here in the morning." Harua stopped at his side, he looked tired, like he didn't sleep. Maki wanted to make him tea and put him under some blanket.
"I'm replacing Euijoo's partner." He explained as if he needed to.
Harua swung on his heels, "Oh, okay."
"You're never here in the morning too- I mean- I couldn't know- Sorry, I'm being inappropriate-" Maki stupid said. He lowered his head and waited for Harua to say yes you're, call me your manager. But Harua didn't, he wouldn't.
Harua snorted, "It's okay, Maki," He looked around the tables on the outside, he brushed past Maki, and he couldn't help feel how good he smelled, expensive colognes probably, Maki held his breath but then Harua asked, " Can I sit here? I never did."
"Yeah, of course." He said, taking his little notepad from his apron's pocket, "The usual?"
"Which is your favorite?" Harua raised his eyes at him. Dark bags under his eyes, but still he smiled softly at Maki, "I really need to wake up,"
"Did you have a bad night?" Maki rushed to ask, but then he realized, "Sorry, I'm being inappropriate again-"
Harua shook his head, chucking at him, "Maki it's okay, I don't care."
"I still shouldn't-"
"I like talking to you. I rarely talk this much, except when I'm with you." He said lowly, Maki shouldn't take this to heart but it did the worst it could do inside his stupid heart.
He pretended not to take it to heart anyway. He held his breath, and smiled, "I will make you a good latte with an extra shot. What do you think?"
Harua nodded, face softened at the edges, like he could let his guard down at least when he was there. Maki didn't know how to not take it to heart.
His silly heart that wanted so much to feel things it shouldn't, that squeezed between his ribs every time Harua smiled at him, every time Harua asked him things and every time Harua would say things like that, like his time with Maki was something special and not just some two hours lost on his day just to have some caffeine and follow with his day. Maki knew he shouldn't make it weird, he knew how these people are, they are charming, lovely, beautiful, so beautiful it's almost heart-stopping, but that was just what they do for living and specially why they do it for leaving. Harua was all this, charming, lovely, beautiful, so beautiful Maki kept stealing gazes at him when he shouldn't.
He wondered about him, what would he do when Harua no longer came here to talk with him without knowing he was breaking his heart?
Maki hoped once again that Mount Fuji was a lie and time was not passing.
He finishes Harua special latte and plates a cookie pie for him too. Harua never orders sweets, Maki doesn't even know if he likes it, but he slides it across his table because he wanted to, because in the end he wanted to see Harua smile just once more to him, even if he knew he shouldn't indulge.
Harua didn't complain about the cookie pie and when he comes back the next day, Maki has a slice of that same pie saved for him.
4
"You never asked me what I do."
When Harua arrived Maki had already turned the sign to closed, but Harua had knocked and said "Sorry, I got stuck in the practice room because of a move I couldn't get right." Maki had his suspicions that Harua was an idol, he was pretty to be one, and sometimes he would show up with makeup still caught in some places of his face, so Maki never had to ask, he never dared too.
"I can't do that, it's our police." He explained from behind the counter, watching Harua sit in the stool in front of him, eating the slice of pie Maki saved for him, red berries cheesecake today.
Harua wrinkled his nose at him, "You can ask me things, Maki."
Maki snorted and against his judgments, he asked, "What do you do, Harua?"
Harua then smiled big, so shiny, not even the big lights turned off could hide, "I'm a trainee, it's my second year. I hope I debut this year though- I mean- Am I being too arrogant? That's bad, right?"
"You're not, Harua. I'm sure you work hard for it."
"I do, but sometimes it is so hard to believe I deserve it."
Maki watched how his eyes got watered, he felt his own throat tighten, "Of course you do, more than anyone you deserve good things."
Harua giggled at that, "More than anyone?" He raised an eyebrow.
Maki scratched his nape, "Can't I be biased?"
His eyes widened for a moment but then he relaxed, nodding and leaning in closer. Maki felt his own upper body going too.
"You deserve good things too, Maki." Harua whispered.
Maki bit his bottom lip, holding back whatever he could do. He wanted to kiss Harua's chapped lips. He wanted to pull him against his chest and hold him there forever. He didn't. Maki smiled, tilting his head and trying to hide the way his eyes watered. Harua noticed of course, they were close, too close.
"Are you being biased too?"
Harua nodded. So much more brave than Maki.
"Will you ask me things now? I want you to ask me things, Maki." He said almost like a plea.
Maki did. That night, he missed the last train home.
5
It's raining.
Maki liked it when it rains, when the coffee got empty and his vision was just the white horizon, and behind the soft songs playing in the store the rain filling his ears. When those days happened he could turn off his brain and just exist.
He would like if the world was simple, that his dad wouldn't be calling him every day and asking about the degree he dropped off and didn't tell anyone, that his favorite coworker hadn't quit so now the only happy time on his day was when Harua would show up, tell him about his day and Maki, so excited to talk to him, would ramble away until the sparkle on Harua's eyes were back.
When Nicholas met him and he met Nicholas, he had called Maki a loverboy, had instantly caught in Maki's cracks the way he looked at Harua, had smiled at him, arched his brow and said, "Oh boy, what could you lose?" Maki had chuckled, and thought about all the things he could lose. When his heart showed up first, he didn't give it a care, Harua could have it.
He didn't know yet he already had it whole.
"I want a house by the water." Harua confessed.
That night Harua had asked Maki to sit on a table with him, and Maki, who had already turned the sign of the door to closed, agreed. And at that table Harua liked to sit, Maki sat in front of him, and even if he didn't want to, he knew what that meant. It was a goodbye.
"You like the beach?" Maki asked, because he allowed himself too, because Harua asked him to, and Maki wanted to know everything about him.
"I love the beach, do you?"
"I do."
Harua smiled, turning to look at him. He had finished his matcha strawberry latte, and hadn't stopped looking at Maki the whole night, like was memorizing his features. Maki couldn't be sure he was, but Maki was, paying attention to his face, and ignoring the redness of his own cheeks. That night he didn't care if Harua saw in between the cracks too. He wished he did, as selfish as it could seem.
"Stop on by, I'll make you a cup of coffee."
Maki nodded because he wished so much to.
Maki wished so much for the night to never end, but when it came, because it had too, Harua lingered at the door, waiting for Maki to turn off all the lights and lock the store.
"See you, Maki." Harua had said at the door, he motioned a hug, a little shy to ask, and Maki, letting it indulge knowing it was the last time, wrapped his arms around him. Not too tight, not for too long, not too close, just enough to not miss it too much.
"See you, Harua." Maki whispered. Hoping it will come true.
He missed the last train home for the very last time.
+1
Maki was about to close. Days have been slow. Nicholas and Euijoo were taking a break—honeymoon in Hawaii. Maki had to train a new partner for his shifts and it was making him exhausted, but the boy was nice, careful to learn everything, and listen to Maki's explanations, however Maki couldn't help missing Jo.
He wondered how he's going, how Yuma was going, was he missing Jo too? He couldn't help but wonder if Jo thought about Yuma as much as Maki thinks about Harua. If it was as hard as it was to him, when he saw something about him.
Yesterday when Maki was coming to work he saw a billboard with Harua's face, a boy group promotion. He looked amazing, makeup enhancing his pretty face, colorful hair and some different clothes.
He had made his debut. Maki didn't need to save a spot on Samidare for him anymore. He knew he would get his dreams to come true, Harua deserved it, he worked so hard. Maki was so happy for him.
The door jingled and Maki turned around, "Sorry, we are closed-" He was so sure he had turned the sign to closed. He really wanted to go home. For Maki, even simply being alive has been rough, he knows there's dark bags under his eyes, and after a long day at work his hair is all messed up by his own hands, but when he turned around and saw him, Maki wished he had a nicer night of sleep.
"Harua?" His eyes widened. Maki ran a hand through his hair trying to look a little more presentable.
It was May when Maki met Harua for the first time. It was may, early spring when Maki saw Harua again. It's been a year.
"I kinda miss your matcha strawberry latte." This turn he smiled at Maki, there's still some makeup on his face, but his lips were chapped and there was eyeliner smudged on his eyes, still he looked nothing but gorgeous.
Maki, stupid bartender Maki, didn't make a silly joke about the season and his name, so his smile fell when Maki too in awe stayed silent, "Sorry- bad time right? I'm going-"
"No- wait- sorry- I can make you a matcha strawberry latte." Maki rushed to his side instead of the back of the counter.
Harua brushed from the closeness and Maki took a step back, so Harua asked, "And can we talk? I want to say sorry for disappear-"
Maki waved his hands, brushing it off, "I saw you debuted, you don't need to-"
Harua took a step closer, "I didn't say a proper bye. I'm sorry, the first year was crazy." He looked at Maki with big eyes, always watering eyes Maki can't help but resemble, always on the verge of crying every time he looked at Harua.
Maki gulped around the lump on his throat, "It's okay Harua, it was your dream. I'm happy for you and I knew that was a goodbye."
He knew and he suffered as much. Maki wondered if Harua had said it would hurt less.
Maki knew it wouldn't because that night he was so happy to be around Harua, and the next day that it hit, that he realized Harua wasn't going to show up, not in the morning, or at the afternoon, or before he was closing, not the next day or the day after that.
He remembered how on the first time he saw Harua he kept his gloomy face on his mind the whole night and day after, wondering if he would come back, if he would come better, and when Harua talked to him and smiled, Maki knew that he couldn't do other thing than make Harua smiles, like it was his side gig.
Maki was good at his job. So he made Harua his latte, and sat at his front on that table that belonged to Harua, and that Maki watched too many people sit there just for them to not be Harua for Maki's miserable state. That night the person there is Harua, looking at him and savoring the sweet of his drink. Maki was so good at his side gig too, Harua smiled at him like he deserved.
"I still think about you every day." He broke the silence.
Maki inhaled, "Uh?"
"I mean I missed you, Maki, and I let my heart here so I came back to get it."
"Harua-" Maki breathed. It was another goodbye? Maki didn't know if his heart could take it, if Harua knew how his own heart was there with him too.
"You took good care of it, thank you." Harua smiled.
"Did you take care of mine too?" He asked, almost shy to ask, almost taking his words back, stuttering them as they left his trembling lips.
"Maki," Harua whispered, finding Maki's hands on the table. He turned his palm up and pretended he was putting something on his hands, closing Maki's fingers around it, "I did, and I want you to take care of mine for a little longer, can you?"
Maki squeezed his knuckles around the metaphoric heart Harua gave him. He nodded, "I thought about you every day too."
"Really?" Harua hummed, brushing away a tear that had slipped down his eyes.
Maki chuckled embarrassed, but Harua let his fingers linger on his face, and he didn't care if he looked stupid, or that Harua had seen he was just a loverboy that let his weak heart feel too much. He really hoped that Harua would take good care of him.
"Yeah, and I listened to your album every day too." Maki smiled softly.
Harua smiled back, "Always so biased." He teased.
That time when his heart did something like jump a trampoline between his ribs he let it, and wondered if Harua's held it's hand when he fell on the floor, if he wasn't hurt, and if he was if Harua's kissed it better.
"I am." He whispered to Harua around the lips that found him in that warm night of may, when rain fell from the clouds, and it all came pouring from his insides, all the wishes, all the love, all the promises he let slip from his lips and flow into Harua.
Maki knew he didn't stand a chance since the first day, and yet he wished for kissing those lips for the rest of his life.