Chapter Text
Erling Haaland had joined Kappa Sigma for three reasons: the parties were good, the house was five minutes from campus, and nobody asked questions when he stumbled downstairs at eleven on a Sunday morning wearing someone else’s hoodie.
By senior year, he had perfected the lifestyle. Classes, football, parties, questionable decisions, repeat.
He wasn’t exactly proud of his reputation, but he wasn’t ashamed of it either. Erling liked people, people liked him, and commitment had always seemed like an unnecessary complication when casual worked perfectly well.
He flirted because it was fun. He hooked up because it was easy. He never promised anybody something he couldn’t give, never lied about wanting more, and never understood why Martin kept referring to him as an emotional hazard.
“You’re taking a freshman this year”
Erling looked up from buttoning his black shirt, “No”
Martin Ødegaard stood in his bedroom doorway with his arms crossed, “Yes”
“Absolutely the fuck not”
“You don’t get to decide”
“I can barely take care of myself”
“That’s why this will be good for you”
“That makes no sense”
Martin shrugged, “The board disagrees”
Every year, Kappa Sigma assigned incoming members a protégé mentor, an older student responsible for showing them around campus; introducing them to the fraternity, helping them settle into university life and, ideally, preventing them from making the same idiotic mistakes everyone else had made as freshmen.
Erling had successfully avoided the responsibility for three years, but apparently his luck had run out this year.
“I don’t want a protégé”
“You don’t know who you’re getting yet”
“I don’t care”
Martin gave him a long look, “You’re terrified of responsibility”
“I’m not terrified”
“You stopped seeing someone last year because they left a toothbrush in your bathroom”
“They bought one specifically for my bathroom”
“That is what people do when they’re dating”
“It felt presumptuous”
Martin laughed, “You’re proving my point”
Erling rolled his eyes and sprayed cologne onto his neck. It is not that he is scared of responsibility, he simply preferred things uncomplicated, and for years uncomplicated had meant temporary.
Downstairs, music already shook the floorboards even though the recruitment party didn’t officially start for another forty minutes. Oscar Bobb and Antonio Nusa were arguing over a banner in the living room, while Declan Rice and Bukayo Saka had taken over the kitchen with Jack Grealish and Phil Foden. The house was loud, crowded and exactly the sort of environment Erling understood.
Martin Ødegaard had already warned Erling to behave before either of them made it downstairs. There would be younger students at the party, most of them new to the university; some living away from home for the first time, and Martin knew exactly how charming Erling could become when he was bored.
“Aye aye captain”
Martin didn’t move, “There are freshmen coming tonight”
Erling stared at him, “That is generally how recruitment parties work”
“I’m serious Erling”
“So am I, can we go now?”
“For the love of God, behave”
Erling laughed, “Why is everybody acting like I hunt freshmen for sport?”
Martin’s expression didn’t change, “You have a tendency”
“I have a social life”
“You are a revolving door”
“Well aren’t you the nicest piece of shit”, Erling retorted jokingly.
Bukayo Saka, Declan Rice and Oscar Bobb repeated variations of the same warning once they reached the kitchen.
Bukayo pointed at him the second he walked into the kitchen, “Keep your hands to yourself tonight”
Erling studied the room, “What the fuck?”
Declan looked over, “Oh, good, somebody already told him”
“You had a meeting about me?”
“No”, most of them said.
Jack shrugged, “Maybe”
Erling stared around the room, “This is ridiculous”
Bukayo laughed, “Nobody thinks you’re dangerous”
“Sounds exactly like what people say before explaining why somebody is dangerous”
“You’re just…”, Jack considered, “slutty”
Erling pointed at him, “You have absolutely no room to speak”
“Never said I did”, one tongue stuck out in a teasing way.
Martin opened the fridge, “What they’re saying is that some of these guys have been here for ten minutes, they’re eighteen, nineteen, twenty. Don’t make anybody’s first month unnecessarily complicated”
He knew they didn’t mean it in a bad way, nobody truly thought he was dangerous, exactly, but they knew his pattern. Erling liked people quickly and intensely, then grew uncomfortable once casual affection began developing into more.
Erling sighed, “I’m not interested in anybody tonight”
“What?”
“You say that every time”
“I mean it this time”
“You said that at Halloween, then disappeared with Spider-Man thirty minutes later”
Erling paused, lost in thought for a few seconds, “The costume was impressive”, he smirked.
One look from them and Erling dismissed them all, “Trust me, I’m behaving”
He then proceeded to smirk, “Only for tonight”
At the time, he did mean it until Jude Bellingham walked through the front door.
Erling noticed him almost immediately, which was irritating enough on its own, not because he was looking for someone. At least that was what he told himself.
Jude had arrived beside Trent Alexander-Arnold, one hand tucked into his jacket pocket while he listened to something Trent was saying over the music. He looked composed from across the room, but Erling could still see the unfamiliarity in the way his gaze moved around the house.
Oscar recognized Erling’s interest before Erling admitted it to himself.
“No”
“I didn’t say anything”
“You didn’t have to”
Erling looked back toward the door, Jude had already taken his jacket off. He was talking to Bukayo now, the tension in his shoulders already easing as familiar faces gathered around him.
“He’s rushing Kappa?”, Erling asked.
“Yeah”
Interesting.
From what Erling had grasped, Jude was new not only to the fraternity but to the university, the country and almost everyone around him. He had transferred recently, played midfield, and knew several of the England players through football, but outside that small circle he was still learning names and places.
Bukayo appeared beside them, “Whatever you’re thinking, don’t”
Erling closed his eyes, “Oh my God”
“He’s a good kid”
“He’s an adult”
“That’s not what I mean, he trusts people”
“So?”
Bukayo gave him a look, “So don’t do your usual thing”
“My usual thing?”, Erling asked confused.
“You meet someone, flirt with them, sleep with them for a couple weeks, then panic the second they expect anything”
“That’s not always what happens”
“Often enough, apparently”
Erling stayed silent, he lowkey understood his friends. Jude had barely settled into university life, and Oscar had no intention of watching Erling turn someone’s first semester into another one of his short-lived romances. Touché.
Nevertheless, Erling found the concern mildly insulting until he actually looked at Jude again. Their eyes locked on each other, then Jude smiled. A small, polity, pretty, gorgeous, earth shattering…
“Oh, you are fucked”, Bukayo said, interrupting his thoughts.
“Shut up”, Erling answered, hasn’t realized he stopped breathing a few seconds.
When Trent eventually introduced them, Erling expected himself to do what he always did. Smile, charm him, say something just suggestive enough to test whether the interest might be mutual. Instead, he found himself curious.
“So you’re rushing?”
“Thinking about it”
“You should”
“Trent says it’ll help me meet people”
“It will”
“Normal people,” Trent interrupted.
“I’m normal”
Four people immediately said, “No”
Jude laughed and Erling decided, within approximately three minutes of knowing him, that he wanted to hear that sound as often as possible.
When everyone eventually drifted away, Erling stayed, not because he was trying anything, he simply wanted to know Jude.
And that alone should have warned him.
“You drink?”, Erling asked.
“Sometimes”
“Want something?”
“Water’s fine”
Erling looked at him, “Water?”
“I have training tomorrow”
Instead of mocking him, Erling smiled.
“What?”
“Nothing”
“You’re judging me”
“Actually the opposite”
He brought Jude a bottle of water. Their fingers brushed, it was barely anything, but Erling still felt it.
Erling wanted to know where Jude had come from, how he was finding university, what position he preferred, whether he liked the city, whether he was settling in properly. He ended up settling for his age; Jude was twenty, younger than Erling but not dramatically so, and carried himself with enough confidence that Erling initially assumed the transition had been easy.
“I think I’m managing good, but it’s so different..”
Jude looked toward the crowded living room, “Everybody already knows everybody”
“Not everybody”
“It feels like it”
“Give it some time”
Jude smiled faintly, “That’s what everybody keeps saying”
Erling understood more than he expected to. He remembered being new himself, even if he had hidden the discomfort beneath confidence and parties until nobody noticed. That was the first moment Erling’s attraction shifted into something slightly more dangerous. He wanted Jude to stop looking like he was standing slightly outside of everything.
“You know,” Erling said, “if you join, you’ll get assigned a mentor”
Jude frowned, “A what?”
“An older member. Shows you around, helps with classes, team stuff, fraternity traditions”
“That sounds suspiciously responsible”
“It is”
“And they let you do it?”
Erling put a hand over his chest, “You’ve known me five minutes”
“I received a disclaimer”
Erling laughed, took a deep breath as he look up to the ceiling. He is genuinely in danger.
That same night, Erling found himself in a dilemma, staring at Jude’s phone number, he debated texting him. He had been horny throughout the whole night, but did not acted upon it… Gosh… He sighed and went through his contacts, deciding who to message for some company tonight.
He finally decided not to contact anybody out of respect for them. He knew he would have pictured Jude instead of the person who would be sharing the bed with him. He was scared of “commitment”, not an actual asshole.
Erling laid in the dark of his room, one hand slipped into his boxer, on his way to his already hardened cock. The house was quiet, everyone was in their room, probably sleeping at this time.
His hand moved, slow at first, reminiscent of how Jude had looked earlier. His coiled hair, dark eyes, the way his jacket sat across his shoulders, the silver chain at his throat, the solid thighs under those joggers. Erling’s cock was already leaking against his palm.
He bit his lip and kept going, he imagined Jude in the missionary position; on his back, legs spread, his chest rising and falling. Erling’s hand tightened as he exhaled. Fuck… those thighs would look amazing as my personal belt…
His hips jerked, and stroked faster, thumb dragging over the head on every stroke. He would imagine every single reaction from Jude, the way he would be holding his breath, his moans, the occasional eyes close trying to focus not to cum too early.
A low sound slipped out of him, but turned his face into the pillow to muffle it.
“Mmmhhh… Jude…”
As respectful as Erling tried to be, a man had needs. He wondered if Jude would enjoy getting choked, slapped and just being manhandled. Erling likes to be rough during sex and not everyone can handle that, he’s sure Jude would do just fine in his care. He continued his strokes up and down from base to tip, twisting his wrist to coax himself closer to the edge.
A few more strokes, his hips rolling up into his fist with increased speed, and he was already cuming, hips stuttering, mess spilling over his fingers and onto his stomach, biting the pillow to stay quiet.
He just lay there breathing for a few seconds, fingers sticky and shame faced in the dark. Guilt sat heavy in his stomach. Erling has seen Jude once, and here he was, cock in hand, thinking about splitting him open just so he could watch his face while he pleasures him.
The protégé assignments were announced three days later, and Jude Bellingham’s name appeared beside Erling Haaland’s, the group chat exploded within thirty seconds.
Bukayo: absolutely fucking not
Trent: who approved this
Declan: 😭😭😭
Oscar: THIS IS A TERRIBLE IDEA
Martin: Erling??
Erling stared at the screen from his bed, laughing under his breath, then another notification appeared directly beneath the assignment email.
Jude: Guess you’re stuck with me then 😂
Erling smiled so hard his cheeks hurt.
Erling: Think you’ve got that backwards
Three dots appeared almost immediately.
Jude: Should I be worried?
Normally, there were at least six different answers he could have sent, something teasing, something flirtatious, something suggestive enough to make his intentions perfectly clear without him having to spell anything out. Instead, he typed the first thing that came to him.
Erling: No, I’ll take care of you
He read it once, hesitated for barely a second, then hit send.
Across campus, Jude stared at his phone and smiled. Meanwhile, in the Kappa Sigma group chat, Martin sent one final message.
Martin: I swear to God, Haaland, if you hurt that boy, Norway will need a new striker
Erling stared at the message, laughed, but left them on read.
Within the first week, Erling knew his schedule. Not deliberately… At least that was what he told himself. He was his mentor after all.
He simply remembered that Jude had sports psychology early on Mondays and Wednesdays, biomechanics on Thursday mornings and a lighter schedule on Fridays. He remembered because Jude sometimes forgot breakfast before early classes, so Erling started making extra food. He also remembered because Jude hated rushing in the morning and because there was something strangely satisfying about watching his sleepy expression change when Erling handed him a plate.
Martin caught him making breakfast one morning and looked at Erling as though he had discovered evidence of a personality disorder.
“What are you doing?”
“Making breakfast”
“At seven forty-five?”
“Yes”
“Who’s coming?”
“No one”
Martin looked at the second plate, at the same time Erling also looked at the second plate.
“Erling”
“What?”
“Who is that for?”
“Fine! For Jude”
Martin closed his eyes, “Erling, drop the act. Leave this poor boy alone. He doesn’t need any more of your fuckery on his first fucking semester”
“I’m being nice and suddenly it’s an act? I can’t fucking do shit without getting a warning”
Erling did not blame him though. Five months earlier, the idea of arranging his morning around somebody else’s timetable would have horrified him. Now it happened without thought.
By the third week, Erling seemed to appear everywhere Jude needed him. When Jude needed a book, Erling drove him to the bookstore. Jude finished training late, Erling was waiting outside. Jude complained that the dining hall closed before he was hungry, and Erling appeared with food later without mentioning it again. None of it felt dramatic enough to qualify as courting, he simply began adjusting his routines around Jude until everyone else noticed before he did.
The England players certainly noticed.
Bukayo cornered Erling outside training one afternoon, “You know being his mentor doesn’t mean becoming his personal assistant”
“I’m not his personal assistant”
“You know his timetable”
“So?”
“You know his coffee order”
“He told me”
“You know he hates mushrooms”
“He complains dramatically”
“You know he calls his mum Sunday evenings”
Erling smirked, “How do you know I know that?”
Bukayo stared, baffled, “That is not the point Haaland”
They remained protective, particularly Bukayo and Trent, who had known Jude before university and had already heard more than enough stories about Erling. Their warnings gradually changed, though. At first they had been directed at Jude: be careful, do not assume Erling is serious, remember his history. Eventually they began directing them at Erling instead.
Do not hurt him
Do not make promises you cannot keep
Do not confuse him simply because you enjoy being wanted
Erling might have resented the reminders more if they were not based on truth. He had spent years flirting because it required almost nothing from him. He knew how to make somebody blush, how to make someone feel wanted for an evening, how to lean a little closer and lower his voice at exactly the right moment. He understood physical attraction far better than emotional responsibility, but Jude changed that balance.
He noticed every time Jude borrowed one of his hoodies, every time his eyes sparkled talking about food, every time his shirt lifted slightly when he stretched. Erling’s imagination remained perfectly capable of being irresponsible, but his behaviour became the opposite. The more he wanted Jude, the more careful he became.
It even took several weeks before Erling allowed himself to properly flirt with him, and when he finally did, it was almost accidental.
They were studying late in the library when Jude teased him about the reputation everybody had given him.
“You’re different than everybody said”
“That good or bad?”
“Haven’t decided yet”, he started by saying, “They made you sound terrible”
“They’re dramatic”
“They said you hate commitment”
“I did”
Jude paused, “Did?”
Erling looked at him, “I don’t know”
“Very convincing”
“I’m working on it”
Jude studied him, “Why?”
Erling knew what he meant:
Why change?
Why now?
Why him?
He didn’t have an answer. So instead, he told the truth, “Because there are some things you don’t mind being responsible for”
Jude’s eyes lifted. Erling immediately looked down at the textbook, avoiding his eyes, “Eat your food”
Jude smiled, “Coward
Erling laughed, “Careful”
“There he is”
“What?”
“The guy everyone warned me about”
Erling leaned slightly closer, “You want to meet him?”
Jude went completely quiet. A sudden, prickly heat flooded his cheeks, and he quickly looked down at his shoes.
Erling discovered something terrible that night; he liked making Jude shy. Far too much, for his own good and unfortunately for Jude.
After that, restraint became selective. He never pushed, never made Jude feel as though kindness came with an expectation attached, but he did begin complimenting him more openly. He told Jude when he looked good, teased him when he wore his clothes.
“My hoodie looks good on you”
“You gave it to me”
“I know”
“So?”
“So I’m appreciating my generosity”, he grinned.
Jude rolled his eyes as he walked away.
Erling added casually, “Looks better on you than it does on me”
Jude stopped walking, he swallowed hard as heat flooded his ears.
Or when he let his gaze linger long enough that Jude could feel it.
“What?”
“Nothing”
“You’re staring”
“I’m looking”
“At me”
“You’re in front of me”
“From across the room?”
Erling would smile, “Good eyesight”
Jude would pretend to be annoyed, but Erling quickly learned the difference between genuine discomfort and the embarrassed smile Jude tried to hide whenever the flirting landed properly.
It slowly became their thing; something soft and private at first. The rest of the fraternity still saw it, of course. Erling was not subtle enough to hide interest for long, and everyone knew he had become attached long before he admitted it.
Their first kiss happened upstairs during another party. Jude had escaped to his room because the house was too loud, and Erling eventually followed under the excuse of checking on him. They talked for a while, mostly about nothing important, until the space between them began feeling increasingly deliberate. Jude kept glancing at Erling’s mouth, the later kept noticing.
For once, Erling asked rather than assuming, “Jude”
“Yeah?”
“If I kiss you, are you going to panic?”
Jude’s eyes widened slightly, “I don’t know”
“That’s reassuring”
“I don’t think so”
Erling then took the chance and closed the gap between their faces. The first kiss was soft, almost cautious, Jude froze for half a second, then relaxed, fingers catching in Erling’s shirt.
Erling then pulled back barely an inch, “You okay?”
Jude nodded, “Why’d you stop?”
Erling stared and immediately looked embarrassed, “I want you to beg for it”
“No”, Erling smiled. “Absolutely not”
Erling knew that would be the end of the beginning for him, his cock throbbing in his pants already, demanding release from his enclosed captivity.
“Erling”
“You asked”
“Shut up”
Erling kissed him again, Jude was ready this time. Still hesitant, still learning, but he followed instinctively, and when Erling’s hand settled carefully at his waist Jude made the smallest sound against his mouth.
Erling nearly lost his mind, so he pulled back, laughed quietly and rested his forehead against Jude’s, “You’re dangerous”
“Me?”
“Yes, you”
Jude looked genuinely confused, which somehow made it worse.
They kissed again, for longer this time. Jude’s hands eventually found Erling’s shoulders, then his neck, and Erling had to repeatedly remind himself that there were approximately forty people downstairs and that he had promised himself he would not become the cautionary tale everyone expected him to be.
When Jude shifted closer, Erling stopped, not abruptly. Just enough for his self control.
Jude blinked, “Did I do something wrong?”
“No… not—“
“Then why?”, Jude asked cutting him mid sentence.
“Because I need to ask you something”
Jude looked suspicious, heartbeat still hammering in his chest.
“How experienced are you?”
Jude went very still. Erling watched his face, then understood before he answered, “Oh”
Jude looked away, embarrassment creeping through himself. Erling’s eyebrows lifted, “Oh”
“Stop saying oh”
“I’m processing”
“There’s nothing to process”
“There is absolutely something to process”
After a few minutes, he continued “So…” “You did… nothing?”
“I mean I’ve kissed people”, Jude started, “But not more… I guess I wasn’t ready”
Then realization hit Erling, Jude was inexperienced, not merely shy.
Inexperienced.
Erling had not expected that because Jude carried himself with so much confidence. Erling had assumed, incorrectly, that someone as attractive and self-assured as Jude must already know exactly what he liked. The revelation changed something inside him immediately. It did not make Jude seem fragile, Erling would have hated thinking of him that way. It made his trust feel heavier.
“You don’t have to prove anything to me”, Erling said immediately.
Something in Jude face softened, still embarrassed.
“I’m not expecting anything because we kissed”
“I kinda do know”
“I mean it”
Jude smiled faintly, “You’re being responsible again”
Erling mocked, “Don’t tell anyone, I have a reputation to maintain”, proceeded to wink.
Jude laughed, “They’d never believe me”
Jude looked relieved. Erling was relieved too, although for different reasons. He wanted Jude badly enough that patience had become an active choice, and Erling was beginning to understand that making that choice mattered more to him than satisfying the attraction itself.
Everyone downstairs knew they had kissed within approximately five minutes of seeing them. Because Martin took one look at Jude’s face, then Erling’s, and immediately said, “No”
He turned toward Trent, “Something happened”
Trent stared, “Oh my God”
“Nothing happened”, Erling called.
Bukayo appeared from the kitchen, “What happened?”
“Nothing”
Oscar looked over the sofa, “Why does Jude look like that?”
Jude touched his face, “Like what?”
Erling started laughing and everyone turned toward him.
“That. Guilty”, Martin pointed
“I’m not guilty”
“You look delighted”
“I’m generally delightful”
“You’re generally irritating”
Eventually Erling admitted, “We kissed”
Silence…
Complete silence…
Then everyone started talking at once.
“You WHAT?”
“I knew it”
“For fuck’s sake”
“Haaland”
Erling raised both hands, “He kissed me back”
“That is not the reassuring statement you think it is”, Trent said.
Erling rolled his eyes, “I stopped”
Martin blinked, “You stopped?”
“Yes”
Oscar frowned, “Voluntarily?”
“Fuck all of you”
But the truth was obvious. Erling wasn’t treating Jude like a conquest. If anything, he became more careful afterward. Which only made everybody more suspicious, Jude was no longer the one they needed to worry about, Erling was.
The notorious frat boy who used to run from commitment had kissed his sweet, inexperienced protégé exactly once and already looked completely, hopelessly fucked.
After the kiss, things somehow became worse. Not between Erling and Jude, but between Erling and everybody else.
The morning after everybody found out, Jude walked into the kitchen wearing another one of Erling hoodies, and Erling looked up from his coffee like the universe had personally delivered him a present.
“Morning, pretty boy.”
Silence… Absolute, unnatural silence.
Jude stopped walking. Martin slowly lowered his cereal spoon. Oscar looked up from his phone. Antonio froze halfway through opening the fridge. Trent, who was visiting for breakfast, simply stared.
Jude blinked, “Morning”, his ears visibly twitched, flustered.
Erling smiled into his coffee.
Martin looked between them, “Oh hell nah”
Erling glanced over, “What?”
“You cannot start doing this”
“Doing what?”
“That”, Martin pointed between them.
Erling looked innocent, faking a pout, “I only said good morning”
“You called him pretty boy”
“He is pretty”
Jude looked down immediately. Oscar’s jaw dropped. Antonio whispered, “Holy shit”
Erling turned toward him, “What?”
“You said that in front of people”
“Yes?”
“You?”
Erling frowned, “I’m confused”
Oscar leaned forward, “You spent weeks acting like somebody would shoot you if you flirted with him”
“I was being respectful”
“And now?”
Erling looked toward Jude, he was trying very hard not to smile.
“Now he knows I like him”
Jude looked up. Everyone else went quiet again. Erling took another sip of coffee, making sure to slurp loud.
Trent slowly turned toward Jude, “You okay?”
Jude laughed, “Yes”
“You sure?”
“Yes”
Erling frowned, “Why does everyone keep asking him that after I speak?”
“Historical precedent”, Martin said.
“Fuck off”
Jude finally sat down beside Erling and he immediately pushed the plate of toast toward him.
“You eat?”
“Not yet”
“Take that”
Jude did. Trent watched the interaction like a scientist observing a newly discovered species.
“So this is happening now”
“What?”
“This”
Erling sighed, “You people need hobbies”
“We have hobbies”, Oscar said, “This is just more entertaining”
Jude bit into his toast. Erling glanced sideways at him, “You sleep okay?”
Jude nodded, “Yeah”
“Good”
Then Erling added quietly, “You look cute when you’re tired”
Jude nearly inhaled his toast.
Martin slapped both hands on the table, “ENOUGH”
Everybody burst out laughing, Jude covered his face out of embarrassment. Erling looked delighted.
“That one worked”
Jude glared at him through his fingers, “You’re enjoying this.”
“I told you”
“You’re horrible”
“You kissed me”
“Once”
“Several times, actually”
The kitchen exploded. Jude kicked him under the table. Erling laughed while faking being hurt.
Trent looked genuinely betrayed, “I did not need that information”
“You asked”
“I absolutely did not”
Martin pointed at Erling, “Behave”
“I am behaving”
“This is you behaving”
“You should see me when I’m not”
Jude choked while drinking his coffee. Erling stopped, then slowly smiled, “Oh”
Jude immediately knew, “No Haaland”
“Oh, that was interesting”
“Erling”
“You’re blushing”
“I hate you”
“No, you don’t”
Oscar made a gagging noise, “This is disgusting, I might puke”
Antonio nodded, “I preferred him when he was emotionally unavailable”
“So did I”, Martin said.
Erling ignored them, because Jude was smiling.
That was the part everybody eventually noticed. Jude wasn’t nervous in the bad way, he wasn’t uncomfortable, he wasn’t shrinking away from Erling’s attention, he was happy.
Embarrassed, yes. Flustered constantly, but happy.
And the more obvious that became, the more everybody’s warnings started sounding less serious. Not gone, actually never gone, but softer now.
Less stay away from him.
More don’t fuck this up.
Then one day Erling did something nobody expected; he asked Jude on an actual date.
Martin nearly dropped his phone, “A date-date?”
“What other kind is there?”
“You have historically considered ‘come over’ as a date invitation”
“That wasn’t a date”
“Exactly”
Erling rolled his eyes, “I’m taking him to dinner”
Martin stared, “You’re evolving”
“Don’t make it weird”
“You’re taking someone you like to dinner instead of attempting to seduce them against a kitchen counter. That’s growth”
Erling threw a cushion at him, “Oh, shut up”
The date itself was simple. Dinner somewhere small enough that neither of them had to dress formally, followed by almost three hours of conversation that moved easily from football to family, university, the strange experience and loneliness of living somewhere new. Erling had discovered Jude hated olives and called home far more often than he admitted. Jude had discovered Erling secretly liked terrible romantic films and had hidden the fact from everybody for years.
“You’re lying”
“I’m not”
“You expect me to believe you like romantic movies?”
Erling shrugged, “I didn’t say good ones”
Jude laughed, “Name one”
“No”
“You’re embarrassed”
“I’m protecting my dignity”
“You don’t have any”
“Ouch”, Erling said holding his chest, faking a stabbing punch.
When Erling brought him home, he kissed Jude outside and said goodnight, but the later had looked surprised. Given everything he had heard about Erling, perhaps he expected him to follow him upstairs.
He wanted him to.
Their second date was mini golf. Jude won and Erling accused him of cheating despite having kept score himself. They bought ice cream afterward, walked home holding hands and sat together on the sofa while their friends made increasingly poor attempts not to watch them.
“I’m watching you”, Bukayo said.
Erling sighed, “You say that every time”
“I mean it”
Jude who sat beside Bukayo added, “He behaved”
Bukayo looked suspicious, “Define behaved”
“I only flirted with him twelve times”, Erling added proudly.
Jude laughed, “More like twenty”
Bukayo closed his eyes, understanding what he enabled, “I hate both of you”
By the third date, Jude had stopped seeming like the newcomer Erling had met at the recruitment party. He knew the fraternity now, knew the university and had built routines of his own, but there were still moments when he admitted feeling uncertain. During a long walk home that night, Jude confessed that people often assumed he knew exactly what he was doing because he looked confident.
“I don’t”, he admitted.
Erling looked over as Jude shoved his hands deeper into his coat pockets.
“I just don’t like people knowing when I’m lost”
Erling was quiet for a second. Then, “You know you don’t have to do that with me”
Jude looked at him confused, “What?”
“Pretend”
Something softened in Jude’s face, “I know”
That simple answer affected Erling more than anything else that evening. By the time they got home, most of the fraternity house was asleep. A few people were still downstairs, but the music was gone and the lights were low.
They walked upstairs quietly, not alerting the others. Jude stopped outside his bedroom, Erling stood in front of him. For a second neither spoke, feeling a little awkward.
Then Jude smiled, “I had fun”
“Good”
“You?”
Erling stepped closer, “Obviously”
Jude rolled his eyes, “You could just say it properly”
“I had fun”
“Thank you”
“Very demanding”
“I’m learning from you”
Erling smiled. As Jude was about to open his bedroom door, he hesitated, “You want to come in?”
A simple question that changed the mood for the greater good of the rest of the night. An unexpected invitation he shouldn’t pass on.
As soon as the door closed, they kissed almost immediately. Jude was eagerly waiting for this moment, that’s all he had been thinking about ever since the second date.
He caught Erling by the front of his jacket and pulled him back before Erling had fully turned around. That alone nearly ended Erling’s good intentions.
He laughed against Jude’s mouth, “What was that?”
“Shut up”
“Someone’s confident”
Jude kissed him again, and Erling’s hands settled at his waist, careful at first, almost hesitant, before tightening when Jude moved closer.
It was different from their first kiss. Jude wasn’t frozen anymore, wasn’t second guessing every little movement or waiting for Erling to take the lead. He knew him now, trusted him, and somehow that trust made Erling’s head spin worse than anything else could have.
Jude’s fingers slid into his hair, and Erling breathed out against his mouth, “Careful”
Jude smiled, just barely pulling away, “Why?”
Erling looked at him for a second, “You really want me to answer that?”
The smile disappeared beneath a fluster, which only made Erling groan, “You cannot do that right now”
“Do what?”
“That”
Jude blinked at him, “What?”
“Look innocent after dragging me into your room”
That made Jude laugh, “I invited you in”
“Exactly, that’s dangerous”
Erling kissed him again before Jude could say anything else, longer this time, and Jude pressed closer until Erling had to remind himself repeatedly that he was supposed to possess some form of judgment. His mouth moved along Jude cheek, then stopped near his jaw, and the second Jude’s breathing changed Erling noticed it.
Of course he would notice, he always noticed everything when it came to Jude.
Jude’s hands tightened around his shoulders, and for one dangerous second Erling thought about how easy it would be to keep going, how much he wanted to, how many times he had already imagined something exactly like this. Jude was warm beneath his hands, relaxed in a way he hadn’t been before, trusting Erling enough to pull him closer instead of away, and that alone almost ruined whatever self-control Erling had left.
Then Jude shifted against him, and Erling remembered exactly who he was with. Not some stranger he had met at a party, not somebody he could kiss for a few hours and forget about the next morning.
It was Jude, the person whose trust had somehow become more important to Erling than he knew what to do with.
So he stopped, slowly enough that Jude had time to realize what was happening. He opened his eyes and looked at him, confused, “What?”
Erling exhaled and rested his forehead against Jude’s for a second, “I think I should go to my room”
Jude blinked, “Oh”
The disappointment crossed his face so quickly he probably thought Erling hadn’t seen it, but the later caught it immediately.
“Not because I don’t want to stay”
Jude looked back at him as Erling gave a quiet laugh, “That is very much not the problem”
The fluster returned, warm and softer this time, and Erling brushed his thumb over Jude’s cheek, “I just think if I stay, I’m going to want more”
Jude swallowed, “And that’s bad?”
“No”, Erling’s voice softened immediately. “No, it’s not bad”
He looked at him and continued, “I want you so bad that I don’t think I can stop if we start. My cock is fucking aching in my pants, my thoughts are in shambles thinking of different positions I could possibly think of”
He leaned down and kissed Jude again, short and gentle this time, nothing like the kisses from a few seconds earlier, “But I don’t want tonight to become something you regret just because we got carried away”
Jude stayed quiet for a moment, he had been wanting Erling’s hands everywhere on his body, touching, squeezing and tasting every inch, before nodding, “Okay”
Erling searched his face, still not completely convinced, “You okay?”
“Yeah”
“Sure?”
Jude smiled, “Yes”
That finally let some of the tension leave Erling’s shoulders, “Good”
He kissed Jude’s forehead before stepping away, “Goodnight Jude”
Jude’s smile changed then, becoming smaller, warmer, the kind that did something uncomfortable to Erling’s chest, “Goodnight, Erling”
Erling left before his self control developed any further opinions and his body making questionable actions.
He walked down the hall, opened his bedroom door, stepped inside and closed it behind him before leaning back against it and staring at the ceiling.
“Fuck”
Because now that Jude wasn’t standing directly in front of him, restraint suddenly felt considerably less noble. All Erling could think about was Jude pulling him inside, Jude’s hands in his hair, the way his breathing had changed when Erling kissed along his jaw. Worse than that was the realization that Jude was becoming more comfortable touching him, more comfortable kissing him first, more comfortable asking for him without looking like he immediately regretted it afterward.
And that was the dangerous part, Erling wanted him, he had accepted that weeks ago, there was no point pretending otherwise, but the attraction had changed since then. It had become sharper, more specific, wrapped up in everything else Erling had started learning about him.
He wanted every version of Jude. Confident, shy, laughing, and every other possible version Jude would allowed him to discover. The Jude who got embarrassed every time Erling complimented him, the Jude who tried to hide his smile and failed miserably, the Jude who had started kissing him first instead of waiting for Erling to do it.
And yes, there were other thoughts Erling absolutely did not intend to share with anybody. Thoughts about how good Jude would look underneath him, about how easily that careful composure might unravel if Erling took his time, about how badly he wanted to be the person who learned what Jude liked with him rather than simply assuming he knew, about how Jude would take his cock in that huge ass and how his thick thighs would tightened around his waist.
That last thought made Erling rub both hands over his face, “Jesus Christ”
Corrupting Jude had started as a joke, mostly in Erling’s own head, something that belonged to all his old instincts. The flirt, the fuckboy, the version of himself who saw somebody attractive and immediately wondered how far he could take it.
Except it didn’t feel like that anymore. He didn’t want to corrupt Jude, not because he wanted to prove something nor because he liked being the experienced one; he wanted to discover him, slowly, at Jude’s pace. He wanted Jude to want things because he genuinely wanted them, not because Erling knew enough to steer him toward whatever reaction he was hoping to get.
Which was frustratingly mature, something that he had been lacking the past years, and he hated it.
His phone buzzed in his pocket, pulling him out of his thoughts. He picked it up and immediately smiled when he saw Jude’s name.
Jude: You made it 20 feet away safely?
Erling: Barely
Three dots appeared almost immediately.
Jude: Dramatic
Erling: You almost killed me
Jude: By kissing you?
Erling: You know exactly what you did
There was a pause, long enough that Erling assumed Jude had decided to abandon the conversation before making things worse. Then another message appeared.
Jude: Maybe I do 😉
Erling stared at the screen. Then sat down on the edge of his bed and stared some more.
“You little shit”
His phone buzzed again.
Jude: Goodnight 😂
Erling typed back immediately.
Erling: Coward
Jude: Look who’s talking, you’re the one who left
Erling dropped backward onto his mattress and stared at the ceiling because that was unfair, mostly because Jude was technically right. After a few seconds, he lifted his phone again.
Erling: I left because I like you
The typing bubble appeared, disappeared, came back again, then vanished for so long that Erling started wondering whether he had finally managed to scare Jude off. Eventually, the reply came.
Jude: That makes no sense
Erling smiled, hands typing but deleted a few words.
Erling: It will one day
Nearly a full minute passed before another message appeared.
Jude: I like you too
Erling stared at those four words for much longer than necessary, and suddenly the attraction wasn’t the scariest part anymore.
Wanting Jude physically, Erling understood that. He had spent years understanding that kind of wanting, knew what to do with it, knew how to flirt around it and joke about it and act like none of it mattered more than it actually did. But this? Lying alone in his bedroom with an idiotic smile on his face because Jude had told him he liked him? That was unfamiliar.
That was responsibility, commitment, vulnerability, all the things Erling had spent years avoiding because they always sounded like complications he didn’t need.
And somehow, instead of feeling trapped by any of it, he felt ridiculously happy. Which probably meant everybody had been right.
Well I’m fucked.
Jude lasted twenty-eight minutes. He knew because he checked the time three separate times while lying flat on his back, staring at the ceiling like it had personally offended him.
12:14.
12:26.
12:42.
At exactly 12:43, Jude threw the blanket off and sat up, “This is ridiculous”
The room, unsurprisingly, offered no response. He sat on the edge of his bed and rubbed both hands over his face, exhausted but nowhere close to actually sleeping.
He had tried, he really had. He’d closed his eyes, changed positions about six times, turned his pillow over to the cold side, even put his phone facedown on the nightstand in some pathetic attempt at self discipline.
That had lasted maybe two minutes. Then he picked it back up, opened Erling’s messages, closed them, opened them again and reread the same conversation despite already knowing exactly what every message said.
I left because I like you.
That should have helped, but it did not. If anything, it made everything considerably worse because now Jude knew. There was no room left for him to rationalize it away as Erling flirting because that was simply what he usually did, no pretending the teasing and the lingering looks meant nothing because everybody had already warned Jude that Erling was naturally like that.
Erling actually wanted him, he had been honest about it a few minutes ago. And Jude wanted him too, apparently far more than he had been prepared to admit while Erling was standing in his bedroom twenty-eight minutes earlier.
He could still feel Erling’s hands at his waist if he thought about it for too long, which unfortunately he had been doing for the better part of half an hour. He remembered the way Erling’s voice had changed when the teasing disappeared, how serious he had suddenly sounded, how carefully he had looked at him before deciding to stop.
That restraint was somehow the worst part. Erling had wanted to stay. Jude knew that now that Erling spelled it out for him. He had wanted more and had still walked away because he was trying to be good about this, responsible, careful with Jude in a way he hadn’t expected from him.
Jude groaned and dropped his face into his hands, “Why is that attractive?”
He already knew the answer, which was the problem. Everything about Erling was attractive.
Annoyingly so.
Jude stood from the bed, made it approximately one second before sitting back down again, “No”
Absolutely not. He was not walking down that hallway. Erling had made the mature decision for both of them, and Jude was going to respect it instead of appearing at his bedroom door less than half an hour later like some desperate idiot who couldn’t survive one night without kissing him again.
He had dignity, he thought he had self-control. He was an adult capable of making reasonable decisions.
Thirty seconds later, Jude was standing outside Erling’s bedroom. He stared at the closed door for several seconds, suddenly very aware that he was barefoot, wearing sleep clothes and had willingly walked down an empty hallway at nearly one in the morning after specifically telling himself he would not do exactly that.
“This is humiliating”, he whispered.
He raised his hand to knock, stopped before his knuckles touched the wood, then slowly lowered it again.
No—
He could still leave, Erling would never know he had been here. Jude could walk back to his room, get into bed, close his eyes and deal with whatever this was in the morning like a normal person
He turned around and took exactly two steps, then stopped.
Jude stood there for another second, jaw tightening as he muttered something deeply unkind about his own decision making skills before spinning around and walking straight back to Erling’s door.
This time he knocked before he could talk himself out of it, but nothing happened.
Jude waited, suddenly wondering if Erling had somehow managed to fall asleep within the twenty-eight minutes Jude had spent having an existential crisis across the hall.
He knocked again, slightly louder this time. There was a pause, then movement came from inside the room. His heartbeat quickened as the mouvement became louder the closer Erling gets to the door.
A few seconds later, the door opened. Erling stood there in sweatpants and absolutely nothing else, hair slightly messy from lying down, looking far too relaxed for somebody who had been occupying Jude’s thoughts for the last half hour.
Whatever speech Jude had prepared vanished immediately.
Erling blinked at him, still half asleep, “Jude?”
Jude stared before he could stop himself, his eyes dropping briefly over Erling’s bare chest before snapping back up again. Erling followed the movement, looked down at himself, then back at Jude as a slow smile spread across his face.
“Eyes are up here”
Jude’s face burned, “I know”
“Do you?”
“Shut it”
Erling laughed softly, leaning one shoulder against the doorway, “What are you doing here?”
Jude glanced past him into the room, suddenly wondering if walking all the way over had been a terrible idea. Then Erling shifted slightly, still standing close enough that Jude could feel the warmth coming off him, and whatever part of Jude had considered retreating disappeared.
“I can’t sleep”
The teasing vanished from Erling’s expression almost immediately, “Everything okay?”
“Yes”
“You sure?”
“Yes”
“Then why—”
“Because of you”
That shut Erling up. Jude almost felt victorious about it, until Erling straightened against the doorway and looked at him properly, all traces of sleepiness slowly disappearing, “Me?”
“Yes”
“What did I do?”
Jude gave him a flat look.
Erling’s mouth twitched, “Right”
“You know exactly what you did”
“I kissed you”
“And then left”
“For good reason”
“That doesn’t mean I liked it”
Something in Erling’s expression changed at that, his smile fading into something quieter, more attentive, “You wanted me to stay?”
Jude looked away for a second, suddenly aware of how exposed the admission made him feel, “I thought that was obvious”
“I wasn’t going to assume”
When Jude looked back, Erling was completely serious, and somehow that made the tightness in his chest ease a little. Erling wasn’t trying to tease an answer out of him or push him toward something; he was waiting for Jude to say it because he wanted to hear it from him.
“I wanted you to stay”
Erling nodded once, “Okay”
Jude waited, Erling waited too. After several seconds, Jude frowned, “That’s all you’re going to say?”
“What do you want me to say?”
“I don’t know”
Erling stepped closer then, not enough to touch him, just enough that Jude had to tilt his head slightly to meet his eyes. The lack of contact suddenly felt deliberate, almost cruel. Jude found himself noticing the few inches between them more than anything else, the space where Erling’s hands could have been resting at his waist again.
“You came all the way down here because you couldn’t sleep”
“Yes”
“Because we kissed”
“Yes”
“Because you wanted more”
Jude swallowed. He could have avoided the question, could have made some sarcastic comment or told Erling he was being dramatic, but Erling was standing right there and Jude was tired of pretending that leaving his room earlier hadn’t left him lying awake wanting the warmth of his hands back.
“Yes”
Erling’s voice lowered, “And now you’re standing outside my bedroom looking at me like you’re trying to decide whether this was a terrible idea”
Jude’s mouth twitched despite himself, “Maybe”
Erling smiled, “Come inside”
The door closed quietly behind him, and for a moment neither of them moved. The confidence Jude had somehow managed to collect in the hallway disappeared the second they were alone again. He stood there wondering what exactly he was supposed to do now, while another, far less reasonable part of him simply wanted Erling to touch him.
Erling noticed the hesitation, “Hey”
Jude looked up with a gaze resembling lime he was still processing his thoughts and words.
“We don’t have to do anything. You can literally sleep here and that’s it”
“I know”
“You can change your mind”
“I know”
Erling studied him for another second, then his expression softened, “But that’s not what you came for”
Jude held his gaze, “No”
He had said it, no shame whatsoever. He had been wanting to be touched for weeks now.
Erling exhaled slowly and dragged a hand through his hair, “You’re going to kill me”
Jude laughed nervously, “I’m serious”
“So am I”
Erling stepped closer, and Jude didn’t move away. If anything, he had to stop himself from closing the last bit of distance himself.
“Tell me what you want”
Jude stared at him. That question was somehow harder than walking down the hallway had been, but his pussy clenched with the sudden switch in Erling’s voice.
“I don’t know”
“Use your words Jude”
“I just…” Jude hesitated, trying to put words around something that felt much easier to understand when Erling’s hands were actually on him. Erling waited without interrupting, and eventually Jude let out a quiet breath, “I didn’t want you to stop”
Erling went completely still. Gosh, you will be the death of me.
Jude’s face warmed, “Earlier”
“I know what you meant”
“Okay”
Another pause settled between them, but it didn’t feel awkward anymore. Jude could feel Erling watching him, and the attention only made that same restless need return, the one that had followed him from his own bedroom all the way down the hall.
Then Erling smiled, softer this time, “You could’ve texted me”
“I thought about it”
“And instead you walked over here”, he continued in a teasing tone.
“Yes”
“Brave”
“Don’t make fun of me”
“I’m not”
Erling reached for him carefully, giving Jude plenty of time to move away, but he didn’t.
The second Erling’s hand settled against his waist again, something in Jude relaxed. It was embarrassingly immediate. He hadn’t realized how badly he had wanted that simple contact back until it was there again, warm and steady, exactly where he remembered it.
The first kiss was almost gentle, slow enough that Jude could feel Erling holding himself back.
The second wasn’t. Jude’s hand slipped around the back of Erling’s neck and pulled him closer before he could think too hard about it. Erling made a quiet sound of surprise against his mouth, then smiled.
“There he is.”
Jude frowned, “What?”
“Confidence”
“Stop talking”
“You came to my room”
“Erling”
“You practically demanded—”
Jude kissed him just to shut him up. It worked… For approximately ten seconds.
Then Erling pulled back barely enough to speak, still close enough that Jude could feel his breath, “I like this version of you”
Jude narrowed his eyes, “You’re irritating”
“You like that too”
Unfortunately, Jude did.
Things became quieter after that, less teasing, though Erling never stopped being careful with him. Every time he slowed down, every time his hands shifted away, Jude became painfully aware of the loss of contact and found himself moving closer again without even meaning to.
It wasn’t that he suddenly knew exactly what he was doing. He didn’t. He simply knew he wanted Erling closer. He wanted his hands back when they moved, wanted the warmth of his body pressed against his own, wanted the strange sense of calm that came with being held by somebody he trusted. Every time Erling touched him gently, Jude found himself leaning into it before he could second guess the reaction.
Jude became painfully aware of that the second his palms landed against bare skin. His hands froze for half a second.
Then move slowly at first, over Erling’s shoulders, across his chest, down his sides. Jude had touched him before, but not like this, not with the freedom to actually feel the warmth of his skin beneath his hands. Erling let him, watching him for only a second before leaning in and kissing him harder.
One of Erling’s hands slid from Jude’s waist to the small of his back, keeping him close while the other traveled higher, over his side and ribs, never slipping beneath the shirt but touching him with enough confidence that Jude’s breath caught anyway.
He liked the way Erling touched him. That was becoming embarrassingly obvious. Jude kept leaning into it, chasing the warmth of Erling’s palms every time they moved, his own hands restless against bare skin. Erling seemed to notice the pattern, because the next time his hand dragged slowly down Jude’s side, he deliberately pulled him closer at the end of it. Jude exhaled shakily against his mouth.
The kisses became slower but heavier, the kind that made Jude forget where he had planned to put his hands because all he could think about was staying close. Erling’s fingers spread over the middle of his back, pressing through the fabric, while his other hand settled at Jude’s hip and held him there.
Jude’s grip tightened around Erling’s shoulders. He wanted more. Not anything specific, not anything he could have explained without embarrassing himself, just more of Erling’s hands on him, more pressure, more warmth, more of that feeling of being held so firmly that Jude didn’t have to wonder whether Erling wanted him there.
Erling kissed along his cheek and down to his jaw. Jude tilted his head almost automatically, and that was all the invitation Erling needed. His mouth moved lower, warm against the side of Jude’s neck, and his whole body reacted before his brain had a chance to catch up. His hands tightened against Erling’s back, fingers pressing into bare skin as Erling kissed the same spot again, slower this time. Jude breathed out sharply.
Erling hand moved from his hip to his side, thumb pressing through the fabric as he kept taunting at the skin. He wasn’t rushing. If anything, that made it worse.
Every kiss seemed deliberate, every touch landed like Erling knew Jude was paying attention to it.
Jude’s head tipped back a little farther, inviting him to continue, Erling’s mouth lingered at the curve of his neck.
Jude swallowed hard and pulled him closer by the shoulder, a moan escaping his mouth. That made Erling’s hands tighten on him.
For a few seconds, neither of them seemed interested in being careful. Erling’s licked, kissed, sucked gently his neck, then kissed the edge of his jaw, then returned to his mouth with enough intensity that Jude stumbled half a step backward. Erling followed immediately, one hand sliding around Jude’s back to steady him, the other staying firm at his waist.
Erling’s hand moved slowly up his back, between his shoulder blades, then down again, fingers dragging over the fabric with just enough pressure that Jude shivered. He was being touched everywhere without Erling actually crossing any line, and somehow that made the anticipation worse, he was already hard.
Jude let his palms travel lower before catching himself and returning them to Erling ribs. Bare skin, warmth, solid and he almost slid his hand into his pants.
Erling noticed. The corner of his mouth lifted for half a second, but thankfully he didn’t say anything.
He just kissed Jude again and let his hands wander. One slid across Jude’s back and settled at his waist. The other moved down his side, over his hip, then along the outside of his thigh through the fabric of his pants before returning upward again.
Jude’s breath hitched. He did it again, but slower this time. Jude’s fingers tightened at his shoulders. That small reaction seemed to encourage Erling more than anything else.
His hands became more confident after that, moving over Jude’s sides, waist, back, hips, thighs, always over clothing but with less hesitation now. Jude stopped trying to hide how much he liked it. Every time Erling pulled him closer, he went willingly. Every time his hands drifted away, Jude found himself shifting after them, chasing the contact. It was humiliating, almost impossible to stop.
Erling returned to his neck, kissing just beneath his jaw while his hand remained firm at Jude’s hip. Jude closed his eyes.
His entire body felt too aware. Aware of Erling’s bare chest against his hands, the heat between them, the pressure at his waist, the mouth at his neck, the fingers flexing slightly against his hip whenever pulled closer.
Jude hand slid up the back of Erling neck and into his hair, hoped to send a signal to have more.
By then the kisses had lost whatever neatness they had started with; it’s now messy and breathless, broken apart only when one of them needed air, and even then Erling kept touching him.
A hand at his waist, a thumb tracing along his side, fingers pressing into his back, a slow palm down his thigh.
Jude realized he liked that most. Fucking hell it’s so good.
Jude leaned forward until his forehead rested against Erling’s shoulder. He was breathing too hard, Erling’s hand moved slowly up and down his back as Jude closed his eyes. That softness should have calmed him, instead it made him want Erling all over again.
“I want more”
He lifted his head and kissed him without warning. Erling immediately answered.
He wanted Erling’s hands on him constantly. Wanted every bit of attention, wanted the pressure of his palms, the warmth of his skin, the way Erling seemed to notice every little reaction and adjust around it.
Erling paused, his hand still resting at Jude’s side.
Jude half-closed gaze, panicked, “What?”
Erling looked at him for a long second, “You okay?”
Jude almost laughed, “Yes”
“You sure?”
“Yes”
“You’ll tell me if—”
“Erling”
“What?”
Jude stared at him, already missing the kiss they had stopped in the middle of, “If you ask me that one more time, I’m leaving”
Erling grinned, “No, you’re not”
Erling could take him right here and now, unable to resist his sultry gaze, before he remembered that Jude was still a virgin. He took one look at him, pupils blown wide, expression loose and unguarded, both lips still slightly parted. He brushed his thumb over Jude’s lower lip, the touch soft enough to feel like asking for permission. Jude nodded, and Erling kissed him again.
His hands settled firmly at Jude’s waist, pulling him closer before lifting him with surprising ease. Jude reacted instinctively, arms winding around Erling’s neck as his thighs settled around his waist, holding himself there while their mouths stayed together. He felt the press of Erling’s growing erection beneath him and that took everything in him not to grind down on it, to not lose control.
Wow he’s big. So damn big.
Erling carried him toward the bed without breaking the kiss, then lowered him carefully onto the mattress. Jude landed against the sheets with a quiet sound slipping from his throat, his whole body already running hot. His breathing has gone uneven, chest rising a little too quickly, lips parted as he looks up at Erling with that dazed, wanting expression he can’t seem to hide. He’s barely been touched, barely kissed, and somehow he’s already trembling, every nerve in his body feeling too exposed.
“Erling” he whispered, breath catching, “Kiss me… Please”
Erling lets out a soft laugh, completely charmed by him, “Anything my baby wants”, he murmured, teasing just enough to make Jude’s face warm even more.
Then he leaned down and kissed him again, angling his head as the kiss deepens, slow and deliberate, until another small whimper slips from Jude before he can stop it.
When Erling finally pulls away, it’s only far enough to look at him, his thumb brushing gently over Jude’s cheek.
“Can I take your shirt off?”, he asked quietly. “Let me see you”
Jude nodded almost immediately, so quickly that Erling has to bite back another smile, like the answer had been sitting on the tip of his tongue the entire time.
Cute. Was the only word Erling can think of, because every reaction Jude gave him is ridiculously endearing; every shaky breath, every nervous little look, every movement that seemed to say more than Jude realizes. He’s practically asking for more without even needing to say it.
Erling shifted back just enough to catch the hem of Jude’s oversized shirt between his fingers, but before pulling it any higher, his eyes lifted to Jude again, silently checking one last time. He nodded, already breathless.
Only then did Erling ease the fabric upward, slowly revealing more of him with every inch until the shirt finally slips free. He tossed it somewhere beside them, but instead of immediately moving closer again, he paused. For a second, he simply looked at him.
Erling’s gaze drifted over him slowly, taking in the rise and fall of Jude’s chest, the softness of his stomach, the visible flustered on his face and the slight tremble running through his thighs. He looked at him like he’s trying to memorize every detail, and when he finally leaned down to press a kiss against Jude’s collarbone, the tenderness of it makes something inside both of them twist.
Another kiss followed at the base of his neck, then one against the curve of his shoulder. Erling takes his time with each one, touching his lips to Jude’s skin as though every inch of him deserves its own attention, its own quiet moment. The care behind it almost makes it worse.
Jude shifted restlessly beneath him, overwhelmed by how much he can feel. His thighs pressed together almost without permission, rubbing slightly as he tries to deal with the restless heat building inside him. He had absolutely no idea what to do with his hands anymore, so he settled for gripping the sheets tightly between his fingers.
Erling kept moving downward, leaving slow kisses along his chest until he paused. His eyes lift briefly, catching Jude’s already dazed expression before his attention returned to him.
The first brush of his tongue made Jude jolt, “Nnh~ fuck”
His back lifted slightly from the mattress, a sharp breath escaping him before he can swallow it down. Erling only continued, slow and deliberate, lingering there long enough to make Jude feel every second of it.
It was almost too much, every touch sending another wave of heat through him, his pussy clenches.
Erling shifted to the other side, giving him the same slow, careful attention, while his hands stayed anchored at Jude’s hips. His thumbs moved in small circles there, soothing him even as everything else only makes him more restless. Then Erling started working his way down again, leaving warm, lingering kisses over his ribs, across his stomach, just above his navel.
Jude’s thoughts completely scattered. His legs twitched, his hands reaching blindly for Erling’s shoulders while his thighs fell apart on instinct, like his body has already decided what it wants before his mind can catch up.
“Erling~” he gasped, “Please…”
He doesn’t even know what he’s asking for anymore. More, probably. Just more. His whole body feels overheated, wound tight with anticipation, and Erling still hasn’t even reached the place Jude was most desperate for him.
“Jude”, Erling says softly.
Then, even gentler, “Princess”
The pet name alone pulled a helpless sound from Jude’s throat.
“Can I kiss you here too?” Erling asked, pausing lower, in front of his covered cunt, which is soaking through his boxers' material.
For a second, Jude forgot how to breathe. His hips lifted slightly before he can stop them, an instinctive little movement that made embarrassment and want hit him at the exact same time. He felt completely gone already, and Erling had barely done anything.
“Y-Yeah”, he managed, his voice cracking around the word, “Please~”
Erling didn’t hesitate. He lowered himself again, pressing a kiss on his pussy, through the damp fabric between Jude’s thighs, and the reaction is immediate.
A broken sound had caught in Jude’s throat as his back lifted from the mattress, eyes squeezing shut from the sheer intensity of it. The thin material clung to him, making the contact feel even sharper somehow, like that single kiss sent a jolt through his entire body.
Erling hummed softly, clearly pleased by how easily he can pull that reaction from him, but instead of lingering there, he shifted to Jude’s inner thigh. His mouth brushed warm against the skin before his teeth caught lightly, followed by a slow, deliberate kiss that left Jude squirming beneath him.
His legs twitched and fell open a little wider without him even realizing it, while his fingers tightened around the sheets again. Then Erling reached for the waistband, moving slowly enough to give Jude every chance to stop him. When Jude didn’t, he eased the fabric downward, peeling it away from overheated skin until there’s nothing left between them.
And then Erling froze, not even a small mouvement. For one long second, he just stared, completely caught off guard by the sight of him.
Erling took him in like he can’t quite believe what he’s looking at, his gaze lingering for so long that one thought keeps repeating in his head. No fucking way.
This didn’t feel real. Jude looked unreal, almost too beautiful to touch, like something made to be admired instead.
The intensity of Erling’s stare made Jude squirm. He caught his lower lip between his teeth and tried to turn away, hips shifting as his thighs began to close on instinct, suddenly too aware of how exposed he is.
Erling stopped him gently but firmly, one hand settling against his knee before easing it back open.
“Don’t hide”, he murmured, “Let me watch your beautiful cunt”
The words sent a shiver straight through Jude. He felt painfully vulnerable beneath that gaze, every inch of him exposed to the cool air and Erling’s undivided attention, and it’s almost unbearable how carefully he was being looked at. His whole body trembled with it, caught somewhere between embarrassment and wanting more.
Erling exhaled slowly, like even breathing has become difficult. His pussy wet, glistening, asking to be eaten raw.
“You’re so beautiful, baby”
Then he bowed down and licked. From the base of his entrance to his clit, there was a single, long, slow stripe. He wanted to experience every aspect of it, so he dragged through smoothly with a flat tongue and full fucking pressure.
Jude softly groaned. This was unbelievable to him. He found it unbelievable that this can feel so damn fantastic. A ragged gasp escaped his throat as his legs trembled and his fingers shoot out to clutch the blankets. He recoiled his head.
Erling lets out a low moan against him. His voice was almost slurred with hunger as he murmurs, "Tastes so fucking good”
After that, he ate. Teasing was not present, he had no time to play. He ate without any hesitation at all, his tongue was constantly sucking and lapping him, making his mouth dirty. He worked Jude over by pressing his face in and holding him down with his hands on his thighs.
Jude’s respiration becomes more audible. He began to lift his hips off the bed. His eyes were prickling with tears, he was blinking and groaning more quickly. He didn’t know what to do with it since it's so damn wonderful, wet, and overwhelming.
"Erling~ Erl~, I~” he exclaimed.
Erling continued. He simply keept devouring him as if he is deserving of this. He knew he belong between those thighs.
A hand flew on Jude’s mouth, trying to restrain himself when Erling sucked hard around his clit. With a gasp that is far too loud for the late hour of the night, his other hand went into Erling’s hair, his fingers twisting tightly. The later groaned into him, his mouth buried so deeply that the vibrations caused Jude’s legs to fucking spasm. He didn’t even try to pull, but his hips sprung up.
He choked out, "Can't~ nngghh~”, as his back arched so sharply that his shoulders rise off the bed.
It’s impossible to stay quiet when it feels so fucking good right now. These broken, pitiful little sounds that don't even sound like him are coming from him.
Even when he tried not to, his shaking, overstimulated thighs are grinding into Erling’s face. Erling’s hands then clenched around his hips to direct him and precisely angle his pelvis.
"That's it”, he murmured, It sounded like he's proud of how much Jude was losing it, because his speech is so full of praise. He flattened his tongue and applied dragging pressure after licking another stripe up his moist slit. Jude’s whole body trembled.
Jude didn’t realize what's occurring until Erling’s finger glides inside of him as one of his hands slides down. Jude was so wet, it entered and exited with such ease, it sounded like a favourite rhythm to Erling.
He let out a gasp and clenched his hands so tightly in Erling’s hair that he might pull it out. His entire body reacted before his brain can process the intrusion, and his walls tightened around it.
"Fuck”, he murmured. "Why is it~ Erl~”
Why is it so good?
Erling simply didn’t stop. Like he had all the time in the world, he curled his finger over that delectable area and sucked at his clit once more, genuinely believing that Jude was the sole item available on the menu.
Jude’s eyes started to well up with tears once more, and this time he doesn't even blink them away. Gosh… So damned sensitive.
Erling was devouring his wet, noisy pussy as if it were his goddamn job.
"Ngghh~ oh~”, Jude could only managed that.
As Erling inserted a second finger into him, the sound hitched in his throat and ended in a sob. He opened his mouth in an attempt to breathe, but Erling is filling him, stretching him, and working him open since he had an endless amount of time to destroy him.
He has never had more than this. Erling was driving him crazy. His cunt pulsed as he was trying to relax. Erling dipped his head and licked at his clit, causing another low and soft moan. He kept touching him with the same deliberate rhythm, finding exactly the spot that made Jude fall apart and staying there until a helpless cry slips from his throat.
When Erling shifted closer, combining each touch with the toying of his tongue , Jude completely lost whatever control he had left. His entire body was trembling now, his breathing coming in short, uneven bursts that he can barely catch. Erling kept one hand steady against his thigh, holding him securely when he started to squirm, adjusting the position so his thumb can tease slowly under his clit.
A sudden rush of pleasure teared through Jude so sharply that a cry broke from him before he can hold it back.
“Erling~ Erli~, oh my Go~”, The words tumbled out between shaky breaths and helpless little whimpers, barely forming into anything coherent, “I… I~ need… fuck, I need..”
“Mhm?” Jude hummed softly, staying close enough that Jude can feel the vibration on his cunt, “You need more, baby?”
Jude nodded frantically, already too overwhelmed to be embarrassed by the tears gathering at the corners of his eyes and slipping hot against his skin.
“Ye~ yes~, please, I… nngghh~”
Jude’s thighs are trembling uncontrollably, his legs instinctively trying to draw together even while Erling pinned him open. By now, he can’t stop the tears slipping down his face, his whole body wound so tight with sensation that it felt almost unbearable. He’s never been touched like this before, never been brought this close to the edge, and he has no idea what he’s supposed to do with any of it.
When Erling touch became quicker, fucking him deeper, finding that same sensitive spot again, Jude cried out.
“I can’t~, Plea~, nnngghh…” he choked, his voice breaking as something inside him built too fast, rushing toward a point he didn’t know how to control.
His hands became restless, grabbing first at Erling’s hair, then his shoulder, then whatever he can reach as he tried desperately to ground himself. Erling stayed close, mouth locked in on his clit, sucking like his life depends on it, and every small movement of his tongue sennt another wave through Jude until he can barely think past it.
“Wait… Erl~” The words barely made it out, colliding with each other between ragged breaths as Jude’s whole body tightened.
“You can let go”, he murmured voice low and encouraging, “Come on, baby. I’ve got you”
Jude’s clit is lightly scraped by his teeth. The tension snapped through Jude all at once, his back arching sharply as a broken cry teared from his throat. Every muscle in his body locked for a second before the release crashes over him, overwhelming enough to leave him shaking.
He squirts.
"Oh, shit”, Jude gasped, another shudder coursing through him as his nails sank into Erling’s shoulder "Oh~, Erl~"
He was having trouble breathing, unable to think well enough to construct a new sentence. The intensity of everything still flowing through him overwhelmed him for a little while.
He blinked vigorously, attempting to focus despite the tears streaming down his cheeks. When his eyesight finally cleared, Erling remained between his thighs, staring up at him mouth licking him slow, not wasting any last drop.
"Another one?" he murmured, running his thumb in circles over Jude’s moist, sticky thigh "Hm? For me?”
Erling merely smiled as Jude was still recovering from his high. Erling encouraged him, "You can do it, baby” "Aren't you my good boy?"
His pussy fluttered at the sound of being called a good boy. His eyes the. fluttered open, his lashes slightly clumped together. Jude’s mouth was open wanting to say something, but all he can manage is a cracked moan.
Erling murmured, "I know, my princess”, kisses trailing through his thigh, “You are very sensitive at the moment, don't you? But I want another one”
And Erling inserted two fingers back inside before Jude can complain, argue, or beg for forgiveness.
"Nggghhh~ aaahh” Jude gasped, his body twitching as his cunt tightened. Jude tried to close his legs, but Erling pushed them open once again, keeping his arms steady and his tongue trailing back to his clit with soft licks that intensify his sobbing to overstimulation.
"There you have it," Erling said softly "Just accept it, You're doing so fucking good for me”
His lips worked so tenderly over Jude’s clit that it felt like worship, his fingers curled. With each stroke of Erling’s tongue, Jude felt as though he is unravelling all over again and writhing helplessly.
"I-I-I ca—can’t..” he whimpered.
Erling purred, "You can baby” “Remember that you are mine? My good boy. And when being told, good boys do listen”
With a trembling cry, Jude’s hands fumbled for Erling’s wrist and clung to it as if it were the only thing holding him to this planet earth.
"I'm~ please…please~ Erl”
“Yes, cum for me again, princess. Let me have it right on my fingertips”
Jude breaks when he sucked hard once more and pressed his tongue there on his pulsing clit. Again and again, relentlessly.
His cunt squeezed down around Erling’s fingers as if it wants to hold on to him as another orgasm hitting him. He simply watched Jude crumbled while continuously praising his cunt in hushed tones. He looked at Jude’s clenching and unclenching cunt, which was leaking sticky liquid.
"That's it, princess. Good job my baby. You are so perfect my princess, such a good boy”
Even though his orgasm is slowly washing through him, he is continued sobbing, chest is hiccuping, tears are trickling beyond his lashes. His nails dug into Erling’s flesh as his trembling fingers cling to his arm.
Erling eased his hand away from his cunt slowly, then he leaned down and pressed one last kiss on the inside of Jude’s thigh, lingering there for a moment before beginning to make his way back up. He kissed the soft curve of Jude’s stomach, then his ribs, each touch gentler than the last, until he was finally hovering over Jude’s flushed face again. His thumb brushed carefully beneath his eye, wiping away the tears still clinging to his skin. His expression softened, and he leaned in to press the lightest kiss to the corner of Jude’s eye, so tender it almost makes the moment feel quieter than everything that came before.
“Hey,” Erling murmured softly, “You okay?”
Jude sniffled and gave him a small nod, still looking dazed and impossibly pretty.
“Come here”
Erling shifted back against the bed and gently pulled Jude into his lap, bare skin settling against the warmth of Erling’s chest. He was still in his sweatpants, which somehow made the whole thing feel even softer, like the intensity is over now and all that was left is this.
Erling wrapped both arms around him immediately, one hand spread wide and steady across Jude’s back while the other reached his tight coiled hair, petting it slowly. Jude clung to him without hesitation, arms wrapped tightly around him as he buried his face into Erling’s neck. Little hiccuping breaths still caught in his throat, tiny aftershocks of everything that just happened.
“You did so well,” Erling whispered against his temple. He kept kissing him as he speaks, pressing soft kisses to his forehead, his cheek, the line of his jaw.
“Such a good boy for me,” he muttered, “You handled everything so well”
A quiet snivelled slip out of Jude, “F-Feel weird…”
“I know, baby” Erling’s hand moved slowly down the length of his back, soothing him with every pass. “Your body’s just coming down from it. You’re okay princess, you’re safe, I’m here”
He kissed the top of Jude’s head again, rocking them gently enough that Jude can feel the rhythm of it without even having to think.
“You were perfect”, Erling whispered, “You’re always perfect”
“Just stay like this for a little while”, he murmured, his voice warm against Jude’s skin, “Let me hold you”
And Jude did. He lets himself go completely loose in his arms, breathing in uneven little hiccups with his head resting heavily against Erling’s shoulder. He thought he was finally starting to come back down, though his whole body was still buzzing with the aftermath, sensitive enough that every small sensation feels magnified.
He didn’t even noticed the little bit of drool at the corner of his mouth until Erling gently wiped it away with his thumb, letting out an affectionate hum.
“Still with me, princess?”
Jude tried to nod, but it came out more like a sleepy nuzzle into the side of Erling’s neck. A tiny, breathy sound left him, something close to mhm, though he didn’t quite have enough energy to make it into a proper answer. Everything felt strangely weightless.
Erling rocked them gently, only once, and Jude immediately lets out a weak, broken whimper, caught somewhere between discomfort and that lingering ache that still felt almost too good.
Then Erling’s hand slipped between them again, brushing over Jude already oversensitive, swollen, moist cunt.
Jude jolted in his lap, hips twitching on instinct as a shaky gasp teared out of him.
“What are you…. doing~ Erl~”
“You think you’ve got one more in you?” Erl muttered against his hair, voice soft and low, “And if you really can’t, you tell me, princess. Okay?”
Jude breath caught. He thought he could. Maybe only barely, but for him, he wanted to try. Just for Erl, he had to try.
The lightest touch was enough to make another helpless sound slip from him, his whole body trembling like he’s already too close to the edge again. Erling working his fingers on his sensitive clit, light pressure at first.
“One more”, Erl coaxed, his mouth near Jude’s neck now. “Come on, my sweet princess”
Jude shivered hard at the pet name, lashes fluttering as his eyes started to lose focus again. His hands clutched at Erling’s shoulders, holding on like he needed something solid beneath his fingers to keep himself grounded.
Erling kissed his damp cheek gently, “You want to make me proud right?”
Jude lets out a tiny whimper before nodding, “Y-Yeah…”
“Okay”, Erling whispered, holding him a little tighter. “Then give me one more, pretty. Only for me”
Erling started moving his hand again, slow and careful over his clit; Jude immediately folded into him. He bite down against Erl’s shoulder to muffle the sound that broke out of him, clinging tighter as his whole body started to shake. His thighs trembleed so badly they kept knocking softly against Erling’s hips, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t stop the high, breathless little noises slipping from his throat.
He was way too sensitive now, every touch landing sharper than the last, almost enough to make him squirm away. But Erling didn’t rush him. Not yet. He kept it gentle, controlled, giving him just enough to make him tremble without pushing him past what he can handle.
“So proud of you, baby”, Erl whispered, “Give me one more, please”
Jude barely managed to focus on him. His eyes rolled back, mouth falling open as another broken sound slips out, and he looked completely overwhelmed, too far gone to care how needy he sounded anymore.
Erling gently tipped his chin up and kissed him, slow and open, catching the next shaky moan between them as he inserted two fingers in. That was enough to undo him. Jude’s whole body jolts, hips trembling as the tension finally snaps with his clit catching on every mouvement. This one hit differently, softer than the first, rolling through him in slow waves instead of crashing all at once, but it still left him shaking in Erling’s arms.
“There it is”, Erling murmured, “My good boy. Just like that”
He held Jude through every last tremor, never letting him drift too far, keeping his touch gentle, steady as he continued fucking him through the high.
Erling didn’t seem bothered by how messy or overwhelmed he is. If anything, he looked completely taken with him, like every little sound and every shiver only made him want to hold him closer.
“Do you have any idea how sexy you sound when you cum?”, Erling asked.
Jude wasn’t even trying to speak anymore. His mouth stayed slightly open, breath coming in tiny, hiccuping gasps while he trembled in Erling’s lap, completely spent and somewhere far beyond coherent thought. His body gave one last little shiver before finally going loose against him, all the tension draining out at once. Erling didn’t move right away; he just looked at him with that same soft, awestruck expression, likeJude is the only thing in the room worth seeing.
When he finally shifted, he does it carefully, making sure not to jostled him too much. Slowly slipping his fingers out his slick heat with a wet sound, gentle in a way that made them twitch.
Erling lets out a quiet laugh under his breath and leaned in to kiss the corner of Jude’s mouth.
“Sorry, baby,” he whispered, brushing away the tears still clinging to Jude’s cheeks with both thumbs. “You’re just so fucking pretty, I got carried away”
Jude only managed a soft whimper in response, too exhausted to form anything close to a real sentence. His arms were still loosely looped around Erling shoulders, holding on without even realizing it, like if he lets go he might drift somewhere too far away to come back.
Erling brushed his sweaty forehead, laid one more kiss on his damp temple, “You’re okay”, he whispered. “Always proud of you”
The second Erling put him down on the mattress, Jude clung harder. His legs curled, his body folding in on itself, automatically reaching for Erling’s warmth again.
“Okay, okay, I’m not going anywhere”, Erling soothed, sitting down next him and lazily pulling the blankets up with one hand. He puts both arms around Jude, tucking him in and tugging him close till they’re mashed up against each other. Flushed, nuzzling into Erling’s chest at once, Jude bonelessly. His breath was already slowing, soft tiny puffs against Erling’s chest.
“You will be sore tomorrow princess”, he ran his fingers up and down his back, “I am sorry in advance”, he gently teased.
“Mhm..” Jude said, sleepily. His voice was thick, hoarse, slightly shocked, “Shut up”
Erling laughed, kissing the top of his head, “So headstrong, even when you’re sleepy”
Jude hummed in reply, the faintest of smiles pulling at the corners of his mouth. He pressed himself deeper into Erling’s chest, floating, all warm and safe, breathing with Erling’s heartbeat.
“Goodnight princess”, Erling muttered, petting his head one more time, “Sweet dreams”
Erling stayed awake long after Jude’s breathing evened out, staring down at him in the dim light coming through the curtains.
Jude looked softer asleep. Younger somehow, not in age, but in the way all that usual composure disappeared when there was nobody left to impress. His lashes rested dark against his cheeks, his mouth slightly parted, the sharpness of his features relaxed into something almost delicate.
Erling had never been someone who lingered after things got quiet. Quiet usually meant expectations, and expectations had always been his cue to leave, to joke, to put distance back where it belonged. He liked people easily, wanted them easily, but staying had always felt harder. Now Jude was curled against him like he belonged there, one hand resting loosely against Erling’s chest, and the thought of moving felt unbearable.
Everything about this was new. Erling looked at Jude’s sleeping face and felt something tighten beneath his ribs, equal parts happiness and panic. He wanted mornings with him, wanted to know what Jude looked like grumpy and half awake, wanted to complain when Jude stole his hoodies and still leave them somewhere easy to find. He finds himself wanting routines, inside jokes, toothbrushes beside each other at the sink.
All the things that used to make him feel trapped suddenly sounded dangerously close to comfort. Erling swallowed as he felt fear creeping in his chest, he was 100% scared, but underneath the fear was something warmer, something he couldn’t bring himself to run from.
Jude shifted in his sleep, pressing closer. Erling smiled before he could stop himself—“Fuck”, he whispered.