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Listen, at first it was kind of funny.
“What's up, Baby?”
“...Baby? Me?”
Shane is so used to Ilya calling him plenty of nicknames. All in Russian that he thinks he doesn't understand but Shane has a Russian-to-English dictionary that he's slowly making his way through, but still.
The point is, Shane has thought of a lot of pet names for Ilya. Sweetheart; Babe; Honey; Sugar; Love; Asshole. They all are good but none of them are as good as Baby.
“Yeah, you're my Baby. I love you.”
He can hear Ilya scoff and laugh through the speaker, “Okay, Hollander. I've never been someone's baby before.”
Shane thinks about all the people Ilya has been with. Usually, it would fill him with a small hint of jealousy, for being the one to not have Ilya all to himself all these years. But now it fills him with sadness. All these partners and not one of them had considered Ilya to be their baby?
“Well,” Shane starts, "How does it feel?” And he expects Ilya to laugh about the question. Maybe do that sexy snicker he does whenever Shane asks him a question he thinks is particularly ridiculous. But instead Ilya goes quiet for a bit. Almost long enough that Shane has to pull his phone from his ear to check and make sure he didn't disconnect from the call.
“It's nice,” Ilya eventually says. “You are amazing, my love. The best partner I could ever ask for.
“I feel like… sometimes, I always have to care for myself, Da? It's nice to know at the end of the day, there will be you waiting for me.”
Shane wants nothing more than to climb through his phone and give his boyfriend the biggest hug. They don't do much for the rest of the night. No phone sex, just listening to gossip about each other's teammates while they slowly begin to doze off.
He can't wait to see his baby again.
“What's up Baby?”
“I am out with team, Jane. I have a question though.”
“Shoot.”
“Do kangaroos actually exist? Or are they really made up creatures to get people to stay away from Australia?”
“Rozanov. I'm hanging up.”
“What's up Baby?”
“I need help. The water pipe broken again, I think.”
“Ugh, turn on facetime. You really need to get a better drain system.”
“It's not my fault my drain can't handle my beautiful curly hair!”
“I think you need a new house anyway.”
“Im sure you would love that, Mr. Real Estate.”
“What's up Baby?”
“Nothing. Am planning on buying a new shirt! Trying it on now… Turn on facetime!”
“Okay… oh.”
“You like?”
“Wear it back to the hotel. Call me immediately.”
“What's up Baby?”
“...Can you talk to me?”
“Sure, anything in mind?”
“Read something to me. In French?”
“Okay, let me find something. It's a bit boring but I have a History of Sports in Quebec book I haven't started?”
“Everything you read is so boring.”
“You like it!”
“I do.”
“One day, I'll teach you French.”
“Okay.”
“What's up Baby?”
“I love you, Jane!”
“I love you too– oh, he hung up.”
“What's up Baby?”
“Ugh! Hollander, I love being Captain but let me tell you about Connors!”
“He's been off this week.”
“Do not get me started!”
“Whats up, Baby?”
Nothing but distant noise can be heard from his speaker. It sounds like he’s in a parking lot. Shane is at his parents house for the weekend. It's one of the few times when he has a couple days off while Ilya is playing Ottawa and they are using it to their advantage. Shane is still getting ready to head over to their house when Ilya called.
“Baby?” Shane checks his phone. The call is still connected. Ilya probably called him by accident. He hangs up and heads downstairs. His parents are out of the house on a date so he's home alone. A few moments later his phone rings and it's the ringtone he has set for Ilya. He picks up and answers without hesitation. “What's up, Baby? You accidentally called me?”
“...No. Fuck, Hollander.”
“Ilya?”
The Russian takes a deep breath before yelling, addressing someone who clearly isn't Shane. “Quiet down! Shut up! What are you, five?! You guys can't be calm?!”
Shane doesn't say anything, mouth slightly open.
“Shane?”
“Baby? What's up? Are you still with your team?”
“Um. Sort of. You almost at home?”
“Yes, just got in the car. Be there in 10.”
“Oke. See you soon.”
The drive was fast, a lot of people aren't on the road this late. Ilya's car is already parked so Shane happily goes inside without a second thought.
When he comes face to face with Cliff Marleau he probably should've thought this through. He can see Ilya sitting on the couch gripping Connors with one hand and St-Simmon in the other. He is lucky this is a shit situation because the look on Ilya's face was about to make Shane burst out laughing.
He slowly closes the front door and carefully takes his shoes off. Marleau is still standing a bit shell shocked by the front door as Shane makes his way to stand in front of Ilya.
“You have 2 minutes to explain,” Shane says.
“It was my fault!” Connors says. Shane knows him. Two years younger than them and had made quick friends with Ilya after he took him under his wing. He was sweet. “I thought, well, we thought–”
“--We!?” Marleau and St-Simmon shout.
“If we could get Montreal Jane to like us we could meet her! So we hatched a plan.”
“An awful plan," Roz finally says. “You tricked me!” He has to let go of their hands to gesture wildly, almost smacking St-Simmons in the face.
Connors ignores him. “Anyway, we wanted McDonalds. So we told Roz we mobile ordered. He just needed to go inside and grab the food.”
“And since he was driving,” Marleau added, “We made sure he was connected to the aux. That way we could use the excuse of wanting to change the song for him to leave his phone in the car.”
Shane can already put the rest of the puzzle together. “So you called Jane on Roz's phone, in the car, expecting a hot chick to pick up and were so shocked to hear Shane Hollander?” Shane filled in.
They all nodded, head down.
“At first we didn't know it was you,” St-Simmon says. “We were like, no wonder Capitaine hid this from us. Jane is a man. But Marleau is not so dumb when his head is out his ass.”
“Excuse me?” He gawks, “Roz has mentioned multiple times how Jane is such an athlete. A pretty wasian girl with cute freckles. Who plays hockey too. Is tall and models on occasion. And speaks such pretty French.”
“So we take all that information and imagine it as a guy, well only one name came up,” Connors finishes. “Then Roz comes in and sees the 15 second call from us to you and decides it would be best to just… clear the air.”
“I am sorry, moya lyubov,” And god his boyfriend is so cute. He looks so small and adorable hunched over and eyes glossy, “I swear I did not mean for it to happen.”
“Ilya–”
“Please don't break up with me!” He pleads. He stands up to come face to face with Shane and grips his hands in his. “I didn't know they would do this! And I'm so sorry for talking about you. You told me to be more careful–” Oh god, tears are falling so prettily down Ilya's flushed cheeks.
“I will do anything! I have been better, Da? Been sleeping better. And eating better. And I make sure to call Sveta at least once a week. And been keeping a good eye on my knee like I promised. I was even nice to Pike and his lovely wife. Please, Solnyshko.”
Shane looked around at the worried faces of Ilya teammates. They probably think this is all their fault –which is kinda is– and are worried their captain is about to lose the guy they've seen him texting with for almost a decade.
He can't help but giggle.
“I’m not breaking up with you Ilya.” The instant relief the words have on Ilya is magical. He slumps against Shane and mushes his head into the crook of Shane's neck. “You told me you trust your team. So I trust them too.”
Ilya wraps his arms tightly around him and sighs, “Thank goodness. I love you.”
“I love you too, Baby.”
Marleau lets out a dramatic gasp that has the room looking at him. “Thats right!” he starts. “You call Ilya, Baby? What about this man is a Baby? If anything Ilya is an Asshole.”
“Oh my god, Marly, shut up,” Ilya says, turning towards him. “What about me is not Baby? I am cute and make good food. I am great at cuddling, just ask Shanya.”
“To be fair, I also call him an asshole. He just likes it when I call him Baby,” Shane adds, unhelpfully.
“Ew, Roz. You’re such a loser. You have the Shane Hollander calling you Baby?” Connors interjects by shoving Ilya. “You should be the one calling him Baby. You better not fumble this because you’re too busy being a fucking loser.”
Marleau nods. “Don't fumble the baddest bitch of the century because it would backfire on all the Boston Bears and it would be so embarrassing for us. ‘Captain Ilya Rozanov, too busy being fucking loser and gets dumped by the Shane Hollander.’ Fucking brutal!”
Shane watches pleasantly amused as St-Simmons tackles Marly to the ground with Ilya, Connors trying to pull them off him.
Shane snaps a picture and smiles.
He loves his Baby so much…and his weirdly supportive teammates.