Buddie Oneshots
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Summary
“Eddie was amazing, of course,” Buck replies, balling his hand into a fist. “He offered to talk about it… but I’m not there yet.” A tear runs down his cheek, but Buck is barely aware of it. “I don’t… I think, um, I’m getting worse.”
Dr. Copeland frowns. “How do you mean, Buck?”
“I…” Buck trails off, staring at the wall behind Dr. Copeland’s head. “I’m not sure if I was made for… this. Sometimes… I just think it might be better if I… disappear or something. I just feel… not numb… just… nothing. I don’t feel anything. There’s brief emotions here and there. They pop up, flash suddenly, a spark of anger, a touch of joy or laughter. And, then they’re just…” Buck gestures vaguely, “gone, just like that. It’s like… on the surface, I feel the emotions, but inside my heart, it’s full of… nothingness. It’s just a void. So, even when I feel something… it doesn’t change that void, it doesn’t fill it. Nothing can fill it.”
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the fic where i project some of my mental health problems onto buck bc if i have to suffer, then so does he :)
Series
- Part 1 of Buddie Oneshots
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Summary
"Buck couldn’t help but stare at Eddie and Christopher with a little bit of envy. At first, it felt like gazing at the stars, warm, peaceful, and breathtakingly beautiful. Then, a pang of jealousy struck him through the heart, so sudden that the smile dropped from his face in seconds. He missed Abby, missed getting to hold her, missed having somebody to be with after a hard shift. Buck isn’t completely sure when he started getting used to that feeling, but somewhere along the way, he got dependent on it. And, Buck hates himself for it."
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A one shot set post-season 2 episode 3: help is not coming. Buck is dreading going home to Abby's empty apartment, but then Eddie invites him to come inside for a drink.
(title: drew barrymore by sza)
Series
- Part 2 of Buddie Oneshots