Celalala



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    "You're serious?" Eddie manages, voice quieter than he intends. "I don't- I wouldn't even know what to do, man. Just- hold it there?"

    He hears Buck's breath catch even through the crackly line. "Yeah. Or you can, like, roll your hips, grind against it. Or you can ... do little rotations with your wrist." A pause. A lengthy, pregnant pause that should indicate that Buck is about to say something insane that shatters Eddie's world, but Eddie's apparently naive enough to think this is still at least a semi-normal conversation until Buck says, "I could show you."

    Eddie's stomach does a somersault, heart suddenly thundering so loud he can barely hear himself think. "What?" He croaks out.

    "I could show you, it's - it's… not a big deal. It doesn't have to be." He's not sure which one of them Buck is trying to convince with that. "Just... a guy showing another guy how to get off."

    or: Eddie is struggling to keep up with his sex drive after starting T. If only someone else could lend a helping hand.

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    19 Jun 2026

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    "You, uh, you ever heard of—of a prostate massage?" Buck asked. He had his hand resting on Eddie's shoulder now, with Eddie still holding onto his wrist.

    Eddie huffed out a laugh best he could. "Don't tell me you learned that in, uh, in Peru." He said, trying to keep his voice light and joking as if it would dispell the tense air lighting up the room. As if it could hide the way he felt himself twitch in his briefs hearing Buck say prostate massage.

    Buck smiled, not quite laughing as he replied. "No, that one is from other sources." He said. "Really good for stress relief, though. Tried and true."

    Eddie shifted underneath Buck, feeling the stiff flagpole tucked away in his pants. He was leaking steadily now, the front of his underwear damp and sticking to him uncomfortably. He let go of Buck's wrist, bringing his hands up to sit underneath his head while he arched his back ever-so-slightly up towards Buck.

    "If you think it'll help." He says, hoarse and much more sultry than he meant.

    OR

    the platonic prostate massage fic

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    11 Jun 2026

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    “A star?” he whispered.

    Eddie nodded slowly. “Yeah.”

    “A silver one?”

    “Yes.”

    Theo turned to Buck, whispering louder. “Buck.”

    “I know.”

    “Buck.”

    “Yeah.”

    “He has a star.”

    Buck’s expression shifted before he could stop it. Pride first. Then something warmer underneath, something Eddie did not have the emotional bandwidth to inspect too closely.

    “I know,” Buck said softly.

    Then, because Buck had apparently decided Eddie didn’t deserve to survive dinner, he added, “Eddie’s kind of a big deal.”

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    01 Jun 2026

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    Buck chuckles, digging his fingernails into the expanse of Eddie’s hips. “Don’t forget the name of the game… truth or dare?”

    “I hate you,” Eddie hisses as he lets his head hit the door with blunt force, the sound echoing throughout the empty house. Bad idea. That may hurt tomorrow.

    “Feels like it.” Buck pauses to pull back, sweat dripping down his forehead, his cheeks blotchy and his nose beet red. Eddie wants to lick it up, wants to take another shot of tequila and chase it down with Buck’s sweat and a squeeze of lime. “You’re still so hard, Eds.”

    Or; Eddie and Buck get drunk on tequila and they play a very intense game of Truth or Dare.

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    25 May 2026

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    "That is. Okay. Where do I start." Pushing off the counter — hands need to be free for this. "Number one. That is not how being secure in your sexuality works. Number two. That is the opposite of how it works. Number three. Most straight men who are secure in their sexuality do not, as a method of confirming this, seek out gay sex. That is— Eddie, that is gay. The thing you are describing is gay. The act of doing it is gay. There is no version of this where you end up more straight at the other end."

    Eddie scoffs. "You don't know that."

    "I do know that."

    "You don't."

    "Eddie, I am bi. I have personally conducted this experiment. The results are in."

    Or,
    Eddie asks Buck to fuck him to prove he's straight. Things go about as well as you'd think.

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    21 May 2026