Chaoticpuff
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When Whitaker accidentally sends a dick pic to Dr. Robby, he never thought it would end like this.
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The ED team shuffles out, Whitaker and Dr. Robby taking up the rear. Dr. Robby stops him with a hand on Whitaker’s waist, there and gone. “Really,” he says low, directly into his ear, beard scratching his cartilage, “that was amazing. You didn’t waste any time starting compressions. That probably saved that baby’s life. You saved that baby’s life.”
The praise goes to his head, suffusing him with endorphins. “Thank you, Dad.” And he promptly wants to crawl out of his skin and slither down the drain with the after birth slop.
Series
- Part 1 of joshua 1:9
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 24,437
- Chapters:
- 1/1
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- 10
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Bookmarked by Chaoticpuff
19 Sep 2026
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Whispers in the Castle by aspionage, BinteMuhammad
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
08 Jul 2024
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While trying to escape from Dudley and his gang, nine-year-old Harry Apparates himself to Hogwarts instead of the roof of his school. Thrilled by his magical surroundings and the lack of vindictive Dursleys, Harry decides to blend in amongst the students so he can stay in the castle forever.
Meanwhile, Severus tries to make sense of a new, tiny first-year whose name he can't quite place.
- Language:
- English
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- 38,929
- Chapters:
- 11/11
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- 9
- Comments:
- 536
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- 14,841
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- 3,232
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Bookmarked by Chaoticpuff
01 Sep 2026
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Griphook sighed, pulling a book from his desk.
“After learning of your entry into the tournament, I requested the bank’s records on the rules,” he explained, flipping through the pages. “Other than death, that is.” The Goblin smirked slightly as he turned the book toward Harry.
‘In the event that the entered Witch/Wizard is pregnant or under a surrogacy contract said Witch/Wizard will be disqualified without risk to her/his magic or life. This clause takes place after the first insemination attempt for surrogacy-’’
“...Are you telling me I can get pregnant?” Harry blinked in disbelief.
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After his unwanted entrance into the Triwizard Tournament Harry will do anything to get out of it. Anything.
This is a story of how one desperate attempt to get out of a contest changes the course of many peoples lives.
Please Read the tags. Don't like, don't read.
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Harry Potter and the fact his life can't get more fucked up by Awkwardaxalotl
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
11 Jun 2026
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NOT AN UPDATE - CHAPTER HOPEFULLY OUT THIS WEEKEND
Harry sees that playing the hero in his first year gets him dumped back at the dursleys with a pat on the back for literally murdering a man and decides fuck it I live like I want now. He goes to gringotts gets an inheritance test finds out he has a reluctant soulmate and that dumbledore is a prick. Shenanigans ensue. This is purely self indulgent and my first attempt at fanfic .
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What if Severus Snape had taken pity on Harry Potter? What if he had told him the truth at the end of his sixth year? The truth is that he is a Horcrux and that as part of Dumbledore's grand plan, he will have to sacrifice himself to kill the Dark Lord.
Well, the trouble was, telling him the truth seemed like a great idea at the time, but it really didn't go the way Snape wanted it to. He realised that the minute Albus Dumbledore mysteriously dropped dead, but by the time Harry comes back to Hogwarts as Head Boy for his final year, the rest of the world know it too. His new tattoo has as much meaning as the baby Basilisk around his shoulders and nobody, even those he was formerly friends with, wants to mess with him.
Now that he has Harry on side, can Voldemort win the war that so many said he was destined to lose?
Only time will tell.
Series
- Part 1 of The Devil Within
- Language:
- English
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- 402,121
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- 64/64
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- 14
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Bookmarked by Chaoticpuff
01 Jul 2026