EVYSCER4TED
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All's Fair in Love and Post-Production by kuchi_sabishii
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
11 Nov 2025
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Summary
Because of a lost bet, Harry is now a contestant on Dean's first-ever wizarding reality dating show. He started out sceptical but willing to play along; three weeks later, he just wants out.
He hates everything: the sun, the cameras, the kissing, the “challenges,” the emotional manipulation.
And then Draco Malfoy walks in.
Hermione was right. This is a psychological experiment.
—
Or: “oh no, he’s hot”
—
Or: The silly Love Island parody no one asked for.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 89,174
- Chapters:
- 17/17
- Comments:
- 228
- Kudos:
- 791
- Bookmarks:
- 259
- Hits:
- 20,539
Bookmarked by EVYSCER4TED
08 Aug 2026
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Summary
Narcissa Malfoy is missing. Harry has no idea why the Unspeakables want him tagging along on the investigation, but he's not complaining. His job has never been this interesting.
His job has never before involved observing a fit, long-haired Draco Malfoy around the clock, or noticing how good he smells, or burning his breakfasts. They're not paying him to ask questions, or notice when something is terribly wrong, or take matters into his own hands.
Unfortunately, these are the things Harry Potter does best.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 49,458
- Chapters:
- 8/8
- Comments:
- 406
- Kudos:
- 2,538
- Bookmarks:
- 972
- Hits:
- 44,335
Bookmarked by EVYSCER4TED
30 Jun 2026
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Summary
There have been no more tears. No waves buffeting Kurama’s feet; no boiling rage to draw him out.
There is only a cold, terrible resolve.
Naruto smooths his thumb over his eyelids, traces his face. Whispers things that Kurama tries, for whatever reason, not to hear.
It’ll be alright. I’ll be there soon. You won’t be lonely.
Resolve. Terrible resolve.
Bookmarked by EVYSCER4TED
27 Jun 2026
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Summary
“What are you doing here?” He demanded, maybe a bit harsher than necessary.
Wriothesley crossed his arms, completely unimpressed with Neuvillette’s attitude. “Well, our hysteric Archon visited Meropide and ordered that I accompany Sigewinne here because Fontaine’s beloved Iudex had fainted. Just doing my job.”
***
Or, where Neuvillette has a vision while spending time with his daughter, he definitely didn't faint, and Furina, being the brat that she is, decides to meddle and help her beloved Iudex out with his relationship to Wriothesley. Not that he needed any help.
And hopefully Wriothesley doesn't end up hating him for keeping a giant secret from him. Or several, really.
Series
- Part 2 of Le Cœur de la Mer
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 8,372
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 64
- Kudos:
- 2,551
- Bookmarks:
- 297
- Hits:
- 37,177
Bookmarked by EVYSCER4TED
25 Jun 2026
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Summary
The answer to the age-old question, "What if instead of a scratch on the arm, Buckbeak had stomped on Draco's head instead and caused tragic memory loss?"
It was a truth universally acknowledged that the path to reforming a Slytherin prince never did run smooth.
Year 5 Order of the Phoenix ongoing
- Words:
- 268,098
- Works:
- 4
- Bookmarks:
- 1,113
Bookmarked by EVYSCER4TED
22 Jun 2026