EmeraudeBee



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  1. Rec 8

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    Summary

    Dan and Phil have ignored the problems in their house for as long as they can.

    But when Dan and Phil are awoken in the middle of the night by freezing cold air and an amorphous shape lurking in their bedroom, it’s time for Dan to admit what Phil has suspected for a while:

    Dan and Phil are being haunted.

    But who — or what — is haunting them? And how are they going to rid their home of spirits?

    Featuring: a hyper competent Phannie, gross misuse of TATINOF, Sister Daniel and flustered Phil and…. The golden pig?

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,806
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    11
    Kudos:
    69
    Bookmarks:
    8
    Hits:
    433

    04 Aug 2026

  2. Rec *

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    Summary

    “Are you– are you full though?”

    “I’ve taken the safe amount,” he says, which Dan understands means ‘no’. “Do you need anything else?” Phil adds, glancing at him. “Uhm– a shower maybe?”

    So he knows. Great.

    The only thing worse than coming in your pants like a pubescent school boy at the thought of being drained of every last drop of blood, is the guy who was sucking your blood to notice.

    Dan really needs some money to pay his rent. Phil really needs blood to survive. It's a pretty good deal, and Dan gets a lot more than he bargained for.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,853
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    210
    Kudos:
    918
    Bookmarks:
    170
    Hits:
    6,563

    15 Jul 2026

  3. Rec 24

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    Summary

    “The real problem is, they just want more Sister Daniel, don’t they?”

    “Oh sure, yeah Phil, it’s the lesbians who want more Sister Daniel.”

    Phil rolled his eyes, “You know I’m right.”

    “We talked about this last year. We can’t do Sister Daniel twice for baking. She has to come back for… something else.”

    “Sure, but what?” Phil pointed to Dan’s clickbait title on the board, “The Sister Daniel x Father Phillip sex tape?”

    “You know that it would get the views…”

    *

    Dan and Phil attempt to launch OnlyPhans. Things do not go as planned.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,587
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    186
    Bookmarks:
    24
    Hits:
    1,779

    25 May 2026

  4. Rec 60

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    Summary

    Everyone is hitting on Phil tonight but Dan believes he's the only one who can please Phil right. So he's horrified when a younger version of himself appears in front of them and rivals his love for Phil.

    Meanwhile the two Phils would love taking two Dans to bed. Maybe even have one of them watch.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    33,190
    Chapters:
    2/2
    Comments:
    67
    Kudos:
    333
    Bookmarks:
    60
    Hits:
    5,765

    25 May 2026

  5. Rec *

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    Summary

    Phil stays quiet, his lips pressed together, until they’re all sat in their living room, Dan next to Phil on the sofa with far more space between them than they usually have, looking around helplessly.

    “Just what exactly do you remember?” he asks Dan.

    “Uh,” makes Dan. “I know my name is Dan. They told me.”

    Dan has a ski accident and loses his memory. Phil can't do anything but offer him a home - Dan finds that said home is quite obscure.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,517
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    87
    Kudos:
    1,009
    Bookmarks:
    187
    Hits:
    5,685

    22 Jun 2026