FiveDollarMixtape
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“So!” immediately becomes the most annoying sound Nobel has ever heard. The official leader of SPECTER unit Grey Wolf, Agent Achilles, sits next to her on the surface of her desk, either oblivious to or willfully ignoring how the real leader of the team is currently working. He leans back on his hands like he’s stretching out the long line of his body, and he wants her to look at and appreciate it. Nobel, too focused on sketching her newest death ray design, does not. “Guess whose turn it is on the sex relief assignment?”
With all the passion of an overworked retail employee waiting for liberation, Nobel asks, “Yours?”
BEHOLD: the CIPHER porn parody!
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 2,982
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 2
- Hits:
- 85
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haddasahwing and the love of the game by FiveDollarMixtape
Fandoms: Warriors - Erin Hunter
10 Mar 2026
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It's a beautiful morning in RiftClan, and Fuzzykit is completely and utterly bored.
Haddie has a mission, should Fuzzykit choose to accept it.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,891
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Hits:
- 12
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bitter-root and the hunt for decent patrol management by FiveDollarMixtape
Fandoms: Warriors - Erin Hunter
16 Sep 2024
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Finally, the deputy’s eyes land on Bitter-root and stick there. She’s staring her down the way other cats might do a starving, snarling wolf — in an attempt to be encouraging, Bitter-root smiles, but showing her teeth must have been the wrong move because it makes Silvershadow look like she’s going to be sick.
“Bitter-root,” Silvershadow squeaks out, “…How about a hunting patrol?”
The management of LochClan isn't great, but Silvershadow might just show some potential.
Series
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take a shot of holy water by FiveDollarMixtape
Fandoms: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
30 Jun 2024
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“So,” a voice says to his left — speak of the devil and he shall appear. Muryu might have jumped, but he’s grown used to the way Sarren likes to sneak up on him, so he only briefly tenses and snaps his head around to look at him and relaxes again when he realizes who it is. “You’re making friends all on your own now, hmm?”
“I am,” Muryu agrees, easy and warm, a little proud of himself. It’s true, after all, and aren’t new friends always something to be proud of?
“They don’t seem to like me that much.”
Muryu laughs a little, quiet and nervous. “Well…”
A few snippets of Muryu and the cambion that's taken an interest in him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,019
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Kudos:
- 4
- Hits:
- 33
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stop and smell the flowers by FiveDollarMixtape
Fandoms: Dungeons & Dragons (Roleplaying Game)
13 Mar 2024
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“You aren’t supposed to be here,” Blossom says into her shoulder.
One of her ears twitch, confused. “Why not?” They were going to steal a boat, weren’t they? After their parents shipped them off to school, they wanted to ditch the whole thing and go exploring.
No, no, their parents never shipped them off…
Why didn’t they? That’s what they wanted to do, right?
When had they decided to go sailing?
Two siblings' near-death encounters with their very dead sister.
Recent series
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if you figure things out, would you figure in me? by FiveDollarMixtape
Fandom Warriors - Erin Hunter
10 Mar 2026
Summary
Hey there, new friend across the sea
If you figure things out, would you figure in me?
Wouldn’t it be a thing, to live somewhere quietly where there’s a breeze
And there’s a reason for us to be?- Words:
- 2,786
- Works:
- 2
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Summary
SO THE SOUL.
- Words:
- 4,095
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 1
Recent bookmarks
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Sweeter Than Fiction by iam93percentstardust
Fandoms: Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types, The Witcher (TV)
12 Nov 2024
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There you stand, next to me
All at once, the rest is history
Your eyes are wider than distance
This life is sweeter than fiction~
At the end of it all, when the Witchers have united under Geralt’s name, when Geralt stands in front of them, when he tells them that in two days’ time they march for Ard Carraigh—
It’s Jaskier who first shouts his agreement, “White Wolf!”
The hall seems to hold its breath for a moment and then, a great rumble like thunder in the distance, coming from every voice in the hall, “White Wolf!”
Jaskier could swear, even though he’s only one of hundreds, that in that moment, Geralt looks directly at him, golden eyes burning into his soul.
Or: the first twenty years of the Warlord of the North's reign as documented by Jaskier of the Cats
Series
- Part 52 of Alle's Version
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 60,251
- Chapters:
- 20/20
- Comments:
- 432
- Kudos:
- 1,873
- Bookmarks:
- 619
- Hits:
- 36,869
Bookmarked by FiveDollarMixtape
09 Aug 2026
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A Red String in the Stars by fall_of_grace
Fandoms: Welcome to Night Vale, Project Hail Mary (2026)
20 Jun 2026
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We’re getting a few calls into the station regarding our announcement of the Sun’s early retirement. Frankly Night Vale, I think you’re overreacting a little bit. Humanity has been around for millennia already, I’d say we’ve had a pretty good run. And this way we all get to know exactly when we’re going to die! Who hasn’t wished for that before, huh?
Now another important update from Dr. Grace: he has found a rock.
Bookmarked by FiveDollarMixtape
28 Jun 2026
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Four years after the beetle probes reach Earth, the internet inadvertently gets ahold of the Hail Mary’s video logs.
Chaos reigns.
Series
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,459
- Chapters:
- 3/3
- Collections:
- 7
- Comments:
- 297
- Kudos:
- 5,673
- Bookmarks:
- 868
- Hits:
- 29,141
Bookmarked by FiveDollarMixtape
11 Jun 2026
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grace's three laws of eridian magic by eunoise
Fandom Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
07 Jun 2026
Summary
magic is real and so are aliens and so it the power of friendship! titles come from clarke's three laws
- Words:
- 18,689
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 157
Bookmarked by FiveDollarMixtape
10 Jun 2026
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Summary
"My horse is hitched to a post closer to Asperger's and autistics than narcissists and sociopaths, but that's not what you want to know. You want to know how I faked my genetic profile."
Jack straightens. "The Bureau doesn't discriminate along species lines--"
"Unless, of course, you lie on your application or tamper with the genetic screening your employment is conditional upon," Will counters, upper lip curling in disdain. He's not devout, content to be ignored by Others and gods alike, and though he acknowledges the usefulness of the Compact, he considers the monthly tithe too high a price for the boons they receive in return. He's still going to argue this point with anyone who'll listen, because as little as he likes Others, he appreciates hypocrisy even less.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 80,678
- Chapters:
- 17/?
- Comments:
- 1,019
- Kudos:
- 2,424
- Bookmarks:
- 888
- Hits:
- 49,410
Bookmarked by FiveDollarMixtape
22 May 2026