HappyOrties
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Summary
Four Slytherins and a Gryffindor crammed into a Muggle apartment.
Sure, why not?Hermione runs a programme: take former Death Eaters who failed their court-mandated therapy and teach them how to function in the Muggle world.
It was meant to be educational.
It became... something else.This fic is roughly 80% chaos and 20% cute. Where the smut fits into that is between you and your conscience.
Pansy - socially lethal, beautifully dressed, a problem.
Theo - chaotic manchild or unsettling genius. Your pick.
Blaise - sexual deviant. No pick. You'll like him anyway.
Draco - arrogant, impressively incompetent and permanently attached to a baseball cap. Oh, and he wants Hermione. Bad.Don't read this if you're a normal, sane person.
Do read if you want to laugh and question your life choices at 3am.The only fic I'd recommend reading as a WIP—small doses.
Hermione developed a kink.
Draco developed feelings.
Theo found Muggle tech.
Nobody emerged from this experience unchanged.
You probably won't, either... not convinced that's a good thing.I spent two months immersed in this and started thinking in nothing but double entendres.
Good luck.
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His Mudblood, His Obsession, His Prize by DarkRedQueen
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
16 May 2026
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Draco nuzzled his face into the crook of her neck, breathing in the scent of her sweat and fear and sex.
“Shhh, Granger… didn’t expect a Mudblood to feel so fucking good,” he murmured against her skin, lips brushing her ear. “All these years I thought your kind were worthless. Turns out you’re an overachiever in every way. Top grades weren’t enough for you, were they? No… you had to have the most amazing cunt too.”
Hermione sobbed harder, the sound raw and broken. “Please… Malfoy…”
Bookmarked by HappyOrties
02 Aug 2026
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A Bludger You Send Flying Always Comes Back by Shadiwrites
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
05 Jun 2026
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Summary
It’s Draco Malfoy’s birthday.
His therapist is exhausted, his house-elf has terrible timing, and one badly timed newspaper photograph sends his entire day off the rails.
Things only get worse from there.
Series
- Part 4 of She and Her Guard Dog
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Five Times Theo Ruined Draco’s Proposal (And the One Time He Didn’t) by LyraMBlack for Midnight_Requiem
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
29 Jul 2026
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Draco Malfoy has planned the perfect proposal.
Unfortunately, Theodore Nott exists.
After enchanted swans, a kleptomaniac Niffler, an accidental proposal to the wrong Hermione, French smugglers, experimental truth serum, and one deeply traumatised engagement ring, Draco begins to suspect that perfection may no longer be an option. -
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Summary
Returning for 8th year, Hermione unexpectedly winds up with a 2nd familiar when the one she buys for Ron as a gift—a ferret she jokingly names Draco—refuses to go to him. When she realizes the creature isn't what it seems, she goes further than she ever thought she would to get the real Draco back.
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Bookmarked by HappyOrties
25 Jul 2026