KesWillNot



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    “You are not broken, Ilya,” Terry says, sounding a little stern now. “I told you to keep an eye on the side effects. How long have you been experiencing this?”

    “Since last night.”

    “What?”

    “Since last night,” Ilya repeats. “Or afternoon, technically.”

    And Terry…Terry fucking laughs.

    Ilya is going to die, and Shane will be sad forever and Terry fucking laughs.

    “It hasn’t even been a day?” Terry clarifies, still chuckling. “Well, this could have nothing to do with the medication. It could just be an off day—”

    “Off day?” Ilya repeats incredulously. “Have you seen my husband? There are no off days with an ass like that.”

    OR: Ilya starts taking antidepressants only to realise it's fucking up his sex life. And, he acts totally very chill about it.

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    11 Aug 2026

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    Atelectasis: the partial or complete collapse of a lung due to inadequate alveolar inflation

    How do you fix what you broke?

    (Or: the Cens are a team of professional hockey players. They've got tenacity and audacity.)

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    08 Aug 2026

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    In Vegas, after they’d said everything right up to the edge of I love you, Shane and Ilya came up with a plan. It was long term, with many, many steps. There might be a spreadsheet somewhere that Shane won’t admit to.

    But it’s a plan, nonetheless. Over the summer of 2014, they tweak it and add things important to the both of them. There are even many, extensive, contingency plans.

    OR

    Thanks to Shane's small lie the first time they hooked up, Shane and Ilya are together years earlier. Now, they have to figure out what to do about it.

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    07 Aug 2026

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    “What is the League saying?” Shane asks. He’s almost scared to find out, but they need to know what they’re dealing with here.

    “They want you back, obviously. They don’t know why Rozanov hasn’t made any demands yet-”

    And it’s ridiculous and so, so like his Mom to be disappointed in someone for being inefficient at kidnapping her son.

    “I am thinking about it!” Ilya protests. “Has been only two hours!”

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    02 Aug 2026

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    “Sweetheart, your pretty little head is so silly. For every photocard I make of ugly hockey men, I make two of my gorgeous, radiant, pulchritudinous boyfriend. Sometimes three.”

    A smile breaks through the heated haze of Shane’s expression. “You’ve been using the thesaurus Dad got you for Christmas?”

    “I will beat Yuna Hollander at Scrabble one day,” Ilya declares against Shane’s hip bone.

    In the year between the Cottage and the Centaurs, Ilya misses Shane more than ever. Svetlana’s teenage cousin offers a coping method: Kpop-style Shane Hollander photocards to stare at all day long. It's a shame carrying around pictures of fellow hockey players is just not socially acceptable.

    …At least, not yet.
     
    (AKA: Ilya's mission to desensitize the hockey world to his Hollander fanboyisms, and the NHL players that suffer for it.)

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    01 Aug 2026