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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Kakashi deserts Konoha with number-one, brand-new, freshly-banished, the legendary nukenin Orochimaru. He's not sure why the Sannin wanted his suicidal, depressed ass to come with but he's so broken and sad and pitiful he says yes. On one condition. No experiments. Well, potayto, potahto is what Orochimaru says. Now starting a new life with a crazy madman who thinks it's okay to stick people with needles, Kakashi has to come to terms with a lot of things. Namely, his depression and anxiety, the general horror that has been his early to mid childhood, his lost clan history, and right of course, the crazy snake Sannin who keeps calling him things like 'my dear' and a 'pet'.

    Yeah, Kakashi is not certain he made the most sound decision but it's made and now it's time to see where it'll take him. He really hopes he won't have to deal with a new discovery about his sexuality or the sudden emergence of a long-thought dead teammate on top of everything else too...

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,695
    Chapters:
    4/?
    Comments:
    73
    Kudos:
    421
    Bookmarks:
    135
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    6,353

    08 Sep 2026

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Obito watches from the window as Kakashi leans over the crib, his finger enclosed in a small, chubby fist. The boy is awake, his feet kicking randomly, his eyes watching the ANBU.

    Kakashi makes his rounds here. He’s the only protection the orphanage has, really. But this isn’t part of his route.

    Tonight, Kakashi has scrolls in the pouches of his standard-issue flak jacket. The greys of his ANBU uniform are gone, his hitai-ate slanted over his left eye, the ANBU mask nowhere in sight. Hung over his shoulders is a large backpack, the tantō sheath hanging instead from his belt.

    Kakashi lifts the small, squirming bundle into his arms and body-flickers out of the orphanage.

    Oh, this’ll be good.

    OR:

    Not all is lost after the failure of the fox attack, because the kyūbi's new host is an easy target. The problem is that, apparently, Kakashi is willing to abandon his village for a chance at parenthood.

    If only he showed that dedication toward Rin.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    22,006
    Chapters:
    4/5
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    156
    Kudos:
    684
    Bookmarks:
    205
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    8,898

    08 Sep 2026

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    He warned them. Repeatedly. Kakashi didn’t want a genin team. Kakashi had no idea of what to do with a genin team. He was self-aware enough to know he wasn’t quite right in the head. He should not be trusted with a bunch of children.

    But did the Sandaime hear him? No, because the Sandaime wasn’t Minato-sensei and the old man never listened to him. And he went ahead with the brilliant idea of saddling him with his dead sensei’s son, Itachi’s little brother, and a kunoichi who was so much a cannon fodder that she had a literal target on her bright red dress.

    He would not be blamed for the shitshow that was about to start.

    OR.

    Kakashi only knows how to teach three things: survival, assassination, and pretending to be normal. Good thing that's exactly what his cute little genins need to learn. And if they also learned how to be a family in the process, well, that's just a bonus.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    119,212
    Chapters:
    30/?
    Comments:
    3,125
    Kudos:
    3,433
    Bookmarks:
    1,154
    Hits:
    80,317

    08 Sep 2026

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Kakashi jumped to his feet with a snarl. He did not know of a genjutsu that could fool the sharingan—would not have believed it to be possible. But here, in this illusion that was so elaborately built and powerfully enacted, not only did his borrowed sharingan fail to dispel the illusion but it made him believe that he was still five, that his father just died, that Kakashi did not possess the sharingan at all.

    This was not his nightmare, the copy-nin realized with growing horror. This was every shinobi's nightmare.

    Kakashi was compromised.

    Time-travel AU

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    31,641
    Chapters:
    12/?
    Comments:
    509
    Kudos:
    1,683
    Bookmarks:
    512
    Hits:
    27,975

    05 Sep 2026

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    The crux of the matter is that Kakashi’s old. By the time he finally gives up the hat, he’s nearly forty and growing older, and while he’s faced death too many times to still remember to fear it, he certainly thinks about it. He can’t help it. He blames the Nidaime — staring at Senju Tobirama’s reanimated face reminds Kakashi of everything that will die with him: his clan, their history, an entire generation. The realization leaves him unsettled, and as his body starts to ache more and more, he finds himself wishing for a world in which he isn’t so alone.

    Or, Kakashi returns to the Hatake compound in an attempt to speak with his ancestors and promptly forgets that the Hiraishin is, above all else, an experimental time/space jutsu. By activating it, he finds himself in a world not quite like his own.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    286,288
    Chapters:
    19/?
    Comments:
    1,768
    Kudos:
    3,996
    Bookmarks:
    1,403
    Hits:
    126,009

    02 Sep 2026