Lascka



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  1. Public Bookmark 7

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    Alastor: Anway! I shadowed up to the King of Hell’s room, where she was pounding on the door. I shot a glare at the No Alastors Allowed sign. How childish.

    Lucifer: And necessary, in any place with Alastors. Now available near you, in travel size!

    Alastor: Shut it. Lucifer answered the door in – I kid you not, my fellow hellions, it was a duck onesie. It was yellow fleece, with a little orange bill on his forehead.

    Lucifer: Ugh.

    Alastor: I’m telling you, it was outrageous. I tightened my grip on my staff, thinking what a nitwit he was.

    Lucifer: Hey!

    Alastor: Stop interrupting – we had a deal. Are you done?

    Lucifer: … Are you done being an attention whore?

    Alastor: No. Anway, Charlie was hyperventilating. “Mom called! Mom called me back! She’s coming home! She’s gonna be here any fucking minute!”

    And I watched Lucifer’s cherubic little off-the-cob expression fall.

    Fall, my dears.

    Lucifer: Fuck you.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,689
    Chapters:
    2/26
    Comments:
    8
    Kudos:
    24
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    16 Dec 2025

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Lucifer gets word of what Valentino did to Charlie and decides he wants some revenge, dragging Alastor along with him. All things considered, it goes shockingly well.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,084
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    35
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    562
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    14 Dec 2025

  3. Public Bookmark 80

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    He’s done some pretty insane things in his time alive—he’s been alive for a long, long, uh, very long time, after all—but, perhaps, this one, probably, takes the cake—the last nail in the coffin, one could say, of his persistent insanity.

    (Or the last nail on the Bambi.)

    He grins.

    (Oh, well—worth it.)

    AKA

    In which Lucifer is determined to prove that Vox is a lying liar who lies and that Alastor does, indeed, have a tail—(for literally no reason at all).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    14,737
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    383
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    80
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    14 Dec 2025

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    Lucifer knows damn well that hell is all about punishment, its very inception nothing more than a rather lazy design for eternal suffering and torture.

     

     

     

    That’s their whole shitick down here anyway, right? Go to hell, burn in a blazing inferno of doom and dismay for all of eternity?

     

     

     

    Lucifer feels he should know, he is by all formal and informal technicalities the head honcho of this fiery shithole.

     

     

     

    However, even with all of that aside, this particular request seems needlessly cruel, like a punishment so extreme and ruthless that he’s stunned his daughter, of all people, is asking this of him.

     

     

    Or Lucifer begrudgingly agrees to join Alastor on errand days and ends up getting a hell of a lot more than he bargained for.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    84,769
    Chapters:
    7/25
    Comments:
    104
    Kudos:
    322
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    103
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    6,527

    14 Dec 2025

  5. Public Bookmark *

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    Vox grits his teeth with a growl and directs his glare back to Lucifer. “Listen here you royal piece of shit.” He starts as his claws harshly poke at the glass separating them with every word. “I own you now. You have no power in this situation. You understand?”

    Lucifer is yet again confused about what exactly Vox wants from all this as he sighs. “Yeah you mentioned that but the thing is..I really don’t care.”

    The man in front of him is a perfect mixture of baffled and furious at his blasé attitude. “Well you should!”

    “Mmmm, says who?” Lucifer asks with a confused tilt of his head.

    “Wha- says me!” Vox shouts, grip on his composure slipping. “You should care because I said so!”

    “My, quite the compelling argument.” Alastor interjects snidely.

    “Alastor, shut the fuck up.” Vox scowls at the radio demon.

    OR:

    Lucifer ragebaits too close to the sun and causes Vox to put him on the guest list for his Heaven take over party to prove to him he's not a failure.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,646
    Chapters:
    6/6
    Comments:
    219
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    1,548
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    339
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    18,050

    13 Dec 2025