LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandoms
- Hermitcraft SMP (12)
- Critical Role: Exandria (Web Series) (11)
- Vampires SMP (11)
- RWBY (10)
- Haunted Winter SMP (7)
Recent works
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electing strange perfections by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for buoymehome (Lilibel)
Fandoms: Original Work
13 Sep 2026
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Summary
Bes's party has taken a hostage, and she is completely normal about him.
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 1,467
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Hits:
- 19
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[web weave/collage] i've been tamed to fear goodbyes by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for pluvium (semperpluvial)
Fandoms: Hermitcraft SMP
13 Sep 2026
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Summary
Web weave of an AU premise: Pearl has gone missing in their small town, and Gem isn't going to stop looking for her.
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Summary
After defeating Krampus, Legundo has everything he could ever need: a safe place to sleep, a steady source of food, people he trusts. (People he loves.) He would never ask for anything more.
Maybe it's time for that to change - and maybe he isn't the only one with something they're hiding.
Series
- Part 2 of finding both your hands
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clutching at shadows by LeanMeanSaltineMachine for TheEnderWolf
Fandoms: Haunted Winter SMP
06 Sep 2026
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Summary
A list of what Drift knows to be true:
- It is winter.
- There are monsters.
- Apo disappeared.
- There is a monster with her face.
- It is injured.
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Summary
Once upon a time, in a faraway land, there were four friends: Avid, Drift, Elle, and Shelby.
OR: A Cinderella-inspired AU featuring Princess of Winter Shelby, magical Avid, human Drift, and an alive Elle who still manages to haunt the narrative.
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Again, his eyes found the youth holding arms and hands and touching skin, like that would prevent their separation. Their breaths caught as His Majesty's gaze landed on Shelby.
"Shelby Grace," King Scott purred, "your presence is requested at the castle. Permanently."
Recent series
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Summary
Legundo falls into a world and is declared to be a god. Now he has to face the natural perils of the world, something that might be magic, and relearning how to be a person around other people. Thankfully, he's always been a quick learner.
- Words:
- 53,246
- Works:
- 2
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RWBY Fanfics by emo_space_gay, LeanMeanSaltineMachine, rivercollabs (theriveroflight), Stormage_dark_lord, sureashyr, UnsteadyShade
Fandom RWBY
09 Nov 2025
- Words:
- 2,233
- Works:
- 1
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coaxing the words from the earth and the dirt by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandom Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types, Stardew Valley (Video Game)
14 Feb 2026
Summary
Cody knows there's something weird going on in Pelican Town, and he's determined to figure out what.
- Words:
- 1,229
- Works:
- 1
- Bookmarks:
- 3
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on the open roads by DuskDragon39, LeanMeanSaltineMachine
Fandom The Magnus Archives (Podcast)
02 Sep 2023
- Words:
- 20,155
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 1
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- Words:
- 6,046
- Works:
- 3
Recent bookmarks
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There's Work to Do by TourmalineQueen for StringedVictory
Fandoms: Swordheart - T. Kingfisher
16 Feb 2026
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Summary
Daggerbound's cover reveal just happened and I feel Extremely Normal ™️ about it. So here's a ficlet of Halla and Sarkis having Feelings.
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
21 Oct 2026
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Summary
Nerves crowd the space in False’s chest as she knocks on the door. She’s never done something like this before, and has no clue what she’s really in for. Will they judge her lack of experience? Will she be made to do something she doesn’t like?
No, probably not. She knows Gem, Pearl, and Cleo very well, and they wouldn’t make her feel bad on purpose. They invited her, for goodness’ sake. Bloody hell, she’s such a nervous wreck.
Series
- Part 2 of Costello's Kinktober 2026
- Language:
- English
- Words:
- 3,541
- Chapters:
- 1/1
- Collections:
- 1
- Comments:
- 4
- Kudos:
- 28
- Bookmarks:
- 4
- Hits:
- 423
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
17 Oct 2026
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Summary
"I'm fine. I don't need to rest."
"Bullshit."
There was something refreshing about how easily Cleo saw through him, through the lies he told himself.
"Must I remind you that you are human?" There's pain in her voice and he can tell that it breaks for him. "Do I really have to remind you of what you are when you fight so hard for it? Come on, Doc."
His voice is weaker too, when he replies: "But I can't just…" This time he isn't interrupted, the sentence just fizzles out and between the unsaid words, Cleo plucks the first shy wisps of victory from the air.or: Legundo overworks himself. Cleo makes him rest. It drags up a whole slew of feelings.
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
17 Oct 2026
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Summary
A follow up to "it's us, isn't it?"
AKA
After the last obol is spent, Owen has to get creative if they're gonna all make it out
UPDATE: Everyone has been so kind and lovely so I'm making this fic public friendly, thank y'all so much <3
Series
- Part 2 of Owen - Pantheon SMP fixit
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
08 Oct 2026
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Summary
The thing was about dying young, Owen had never had much time for self-reflection. Every day that Owen had been alive had been about surviving, finding food and shelter. But now that she was dead- or had died, or was in some middle ground, he wanted to be herself. Himself. Both. And Owen finally had a chance to discover who that was.
Aka, Owen tries to explore her gender a little bit and it turns out the feather holders are very supportive and the entire server is willing to come together to make him a new outfit. Fluff ensues.
Aka, a trans person giving everything my fellow trans sibling deserves
UPDATE: Everyone has been so kind and lovely so I'm making this fic public friendly, I love all of y'all so much :)
Series
- Part 1 of Owen - Pantheon SMP fixit
Bookmarked by LeanMeanSaltineMachine
08 Oct 2026