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Ford gets off too easily. Bill decides to help. For Kinktober 2017.
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- Part 11 of Kinktober 2017
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Ford couldn't take the constant anxiety, fear, and trauma of Bill's wrath.
When he found himself on the roof of his house after Bill had stolen control from him, he realized this all had an easy solution.
If Bill could get anyone else to do this, he would've gone for the easier prey. For whatever reason, he needed Ford, and only Ford.
So Ford would take that from him. Or so he hoped.
Not if Bill had anything to say about it. Ford wasn't allowed to die. -
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Bill makes the most of an unfortunate situation.
Or more accurately, Bill allows himself to relax and enjoy his involuntary vacation to the physical realm with his favorite pet at his side.
(assorted fluff and smut in AU where Bill comes through the portal powerless)
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- Part 2 of Pet Playcation
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So what happens if i take these aliens, shake em real hard and make their personalities the opposite of what they are in canon?
You get a yearning ex Team Leader, a fucked up Pupa Specialist, an unusually sweet Bounty Hunter and a batshit crazy Chronicler.
Welcome to Polar Opposites, the reverse personality AU!
This AU has been highly requested as a fic by my followers on Tiktok. I post a bunch of Art of this AU on there btw so be sure to check that!
(@solstice_ballin) -
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Ford finds out about one of bill's kinks and learns to exploit it
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Bill has just escaped Theraprism, and is back on Earth. He has two daughters that he hasn't met and a husband he hasn't seen in twelve years, but both parties believe the other to be long dead. Soon, though, the twin girls will meet their mother, Bill will meet his daughters, and Ford will finally feel whole again.
OKAY GUYS I FIGURED OUT HOW TO MAKE A SERIES if you're reading this one before the first one, read Domestic Life, but if you can't be bothered to read that(or if you need a reminder of what happened) here is a really bad summary of what the last fic was about: Bill is a good guy now and whoa he's pregnant whaaat and so he and Ford become parents or whatever and then Bill got kidnapped oh no and Ford tweaked out and then Ford got two kids and also Stan is here now. I'm sorry if that didn't make any sense.
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- Part 2 of The Aftermath
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"'Look, I don’t want you going just as much as you don’t want to go. But I can’t just leave you here while we’re gone! You’d burn the place down!'
Despite Ford being right, Bill is offended by the assumption. Who says he’ll burn the place down?
'Assumptions, assumptions, Fordsy! Don’t you know assumptions are fascist?' Bill waves his hand in Ford’s face. Ford stares at him. Clearly remembering all the time Bill did, in fact, attempt to burn the shack down.
'That doesn’t even– Whatever! The bottom line is, you’re going whether you want to or not, and you will behave.' Ford sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. 'I won’t let you ruin another summer for these kids.'"
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The Pines' are going on summer vacation to the beach. But they can't just leave Bill home alone. So he has to come with them, and of course, he gets into trouble.
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All my Non Euclidean Geometry AU short comics, art, and lore crossposted from tumblr!
Geometry on a curved surface is considered non-euclidean, where regular rules about lines and angles might not apply-
AKA, the AU where you got wasted on your birthday with your Muse and one thing led to another and you REALLY violated that 5th postulate and now you gotta deal with the results, Ford! (he didn’t know he could that! neither did the other one! and neither remembers what exactly they did to do that!!!)
Set Pre-Portal/Betrayal Era, watch Ford and Bill try to parent their surprise baby, Pyramid Steve!Series
- Part 3 of Non Euclidean Geometry AU
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Bill attempts to seduce Ford using the one thing he can't resist--correcting people
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Bill has some less than human things going on downstairs, and has realized that he's not even putting it to good use. What a waste! Though, he doesn't even know if his idea for the night is possible- but his Fordsy was always one for testing theories, right?
Or: Bill gets rawed, OOAK pussy style.
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zugzwang, and other forms of intimacy by haysfever (ratsplendor), ratsplendor for freshtrash, mi princesa, gaylisterine
Fandoms: Gravity Falls
22 Jul 2026
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20 years adrift in the multiverse, in between a rock and a hard place, Ford accepts a tow job from an inadvisable source - and they both pay the price. So it goes!
Alternately: 5 ways to become entangled, +1 to be taken apart.
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post-theraprism stuff, its kiinda handyman bill but also not sometimes
dont worry about it too much its just an excuse for smut- Words:
- 12,387
- Works:
- 3
- Bookmarks:
- 8
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Summary
“You're…pathetic.”
Bill's skin crawled. The room lit red. Without a second thought, he gathered up what was left behind his eye and spit. A thick static loogie hit Ford’s cheek, sizzling like a pinch of flower in an oil vat.
He could almost feel the bonfire warmth of real fury roar back to life where Ford stood. He basked for a heartbeat before Ford twisted the knife in the wall, catching strands of pride and relief like spun pasta around his blade. He leaned in, breathing fire through his teeth.
“I have pinned dead moths more challenging than you. You are a fucking insect to me. Act like it.”
Bill let himself whimper. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes . Bill didn't play stupid games, and he only won prizes he wanted. That meant he wanted this. He'd earned it.
OR: "I went to The Theraprism and all I got was this stupid sexual complex"
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Due to unexplained cosmic fuckery, Bill successfully makes it to Earth in the 80s—without any of his powers. Needing to buy himself time to figure out how to fix this mess, he crashes with the one person who completely and totally trusts him. The only problem is Ford is just a little overexcited to have his Muse with him in person. Deprived of his usual tactics, Bill must figure out a new way to keep his pet in line. Horniness ensues.
Series
- Part 1 of Pet Playcation
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Bill needs something from Ford, but it's not the equation.
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In for a penny, in for a pound, planting his grief straight into the ground,
A coin has two sides, and likewise this tale, of heartbroken freaks whose vices prevail. -
The higher the top the longer the drop by Sprunkly
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Andy Weir's Project Hail Mary - All Media Types
27 May 2026
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Adrian is, to put it bluntly, very upfront. And even a little bit rude sometimes. But they are never mean. When Rocky and I started teaching them English, them and I started joking back and forth a bit. Their humour is dry (like a lot of Eridians, I have found) but they always know how to make me laugh. They’re caring and smart and—I’m getting off track.
To put it shortly, I am…attracted to Adrian. This realisation came shortly after I realised a looming crush on Rocky. How embarrassing. Nothing about us is compatible. I would die outside of my ‘enclosure’ (for lack of a better word) and they would die a slow and painful death inside of mine. Without a protective suit on, I mean.
And yet…
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Grace realises he is very much crushing on not just Rocky, but Adrian as well. He also really wants them to lay eggs in him and possibly has wet dreams about that. Often. Maybe.
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Erid's Finest by wild_dreamer
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir, Andy Weir's Project Hail Mary - All Media Types
31 Jul 2026
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Ryland Grace and Adrian both have one thing in common: a love for Rocky. And both of them are desperate to return everything to the status quo.
In a fit of recklessness upon Rocky’s suggestion to become a throuple, Adrian decides to court the alien in the hopes that their mate will come to his senses and realize what a bad idea it is.
Meanwhile, Grace is trying to ignore the questionable feelings he has for his best friend and support Adrian in their mission.
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Catching Grace by Mystic_Girl
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
28 May 2026
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When Grace agreed to participate in the ancient Eridian mating ritual, he expected something exciting, a little bit scary and hot. He didn't expect just how deeply the predator-and-prey ritual will awaken something inside him. Hunted through the biodome by his two alien mates, Grace discovered a few more things about himself.
Aka: Adrian and Rocky consensually hunt Grace through his biodome and then fuck him. :)
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The Study of Cross-Species Astro Neurobiology (The Official Ryland Grace Guide to Alien Flirting) by powerxtrip
Fandoms: Project Hail Mary (2026), Project Hail Mary - Andy Weir
02 Jun 2026
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Grace and Rocky survived the trip to Erid. Now, all Grace has to do is live on a planet meant to kill him, charm his best friend's mate, and figure out why all these Eridians keep giving him rocks. Easy right? As long as he doesn't die of scurvy, first.
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