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Who’s Afraid of Little Old Me? (you should be) by Snoweylily
Fandoms: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
02 Oct 2026
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Summary
“No post on Sundays” Uncle Vernon announced happily, “No damn letters today-”
Something came whizzing down the kitchen chimney as he spoke and caught him sharply on the back of the head. The next moment, thirty or forty letters came pelting out of the fireplace like bullets.
“That does it!” he snapped, his beady little eyes focused solely on Harry, “It’s you that they want. And they won’t stop coming after us until you’re… gone”.
Harry didn't like the sound of that.
“But Vernon, we can’t! You heard what that- that despicable old man told us!”
“Don’t worry, pet” Vernon said, his nasty grin triumphant, “I’ll leave him someplace so far away that those freaks will never trace him back to us. There’s an institute up north, for these- these hopeless cases and whatnot - St Brutus's Secure Centre for Boys. I’ll leave him there, and then we can get back to our nice, normal life”.Or, the one where Harry doesn't attend Hogwarts in first year but finds his way to the wizarding world anyway, and this changes everything.
Series
- Part 1 of WAOLOM
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Summary
Harry Potter was never meant to survive - let alone disappear.
When he returns to the wizarding world years after being presumed dead, everyone expects a saviour. Instead, they find a boy with bright Killing curse eyes, an innate understanding of Dark Magic and runes, and teeth far too sharp for comfort.
But power always recognises power, and Harry finds himself being pulled - inevitably, irresistibly - toward the two men who wield it best.Or, "You think you're clever, don't you?" Severus said, though without the bite he usually reserved for such remarks.
Harry tilted his head, a wry smirk on his blood red lips. “I think I’m clever enough... Say hi to your husband for me." -
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Summary
For as long as Jason can remember back, he’s known that he has something other and magical running through his veins.
He doesn’t remember much of his father, but he remembers his mother cradling his cheeks and telling him he has Willis Todd’s eyes, his eyes and his gift; something sacred that he must always keep close to his heart, because magic is rare, magic is for special people, people destined for something great. It’s a spark in his blood, a thrum under his pulse, and no matter how much he hates it, it’s all his.
Except, he’s all its, too. And when Jason dies, his magic doesn’t let him go.
It takes a clown, a crowbar and a bomb for him to figure that out. And then– well. Only way to go from a grave is up, right?
—
Or, the one where Jason is semi-immortal and decides to make it everyone else’s problem. Also, there are shadow demons and magical threats and mystical monks, sometimes. He deals with them and– runs a crime empire on the side, or something.
Shit only really starts going awry when the Bats show up.
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Summary
When a Voldemort in his thirties encounters a time-travelling, seventeen-year-old Harry Potter, he makes a dangerous—and hilarious—assumption. He assumes that Harry is his son. And his son, of course, deserves the very best.
A confused Harry plays along for the sake of self-preservation, but living with his “father” is proving to be intolerable in more ways than one.
“You are mine,” Voldemort said gently, and smiled when Harry flinched. So the boy did know Voldemort, after all. He knew Voldemort was to be feared. “I will look after you, my own.”
“I don’t belong to you,” Harry spat, despite his fear. Oh, what a delight he was! He was no cowering, simpering sycophant, like Voldemort’s other followers; no, this child had a spine of steel. Not many could stand before Voldemort without quailing.
“You are my son,” Voldemort declared. “Of course you belong to me. Your every cell, your every fibre, your every heartbeat. You are mine in flesh and blood and soul. You are mine in magic. And you will not deny me.”
Now with Chinese, Korean, Russian and Portugese translations, and featuring art by Mona and Hypnodisc!
Series
- Part 4 of Tomarrymort Stories
- Part 3 of Daddymort
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Summary
In a world where Voldemort's victory brought forth the golden age of pureblood supremacy, young Harry - an average Durmstrang student - grows surrounded by the same propaganda that has become the gospel truth of the Wizarding World. Injustice is a norm and racism is not only accepted, but actively encouraged. Embracing the status quo becomes harder when Harry finds himself in a train station where the living should not dwell, and a dangerous friend who goes by the name "Tom".
Series
- Part 1 of Train to Nowhere