Riddle_Master_101



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    “I can’t tell you anything.”

    ”Oh, come on!” She whined and Shane couldn’t help but laugh. “When have you ever been able to talk to a friend about the hot guy you’re seeing?”

    ”We’re not see—“

    ”Or not seeing.” He could practically hear her eyes rolling. “Semantics. Answer the question.”

    ”Never. Obviously.”

    Summary:
    Ilya is finally at the cottage. He’s beautiful in the mornings. He scratches his tummy when he’s sleepy. Shane is so enamored and he needs someone to know. So what if that text message Shane received from Rose wasn’t the only one?

    Moments at the cottage you missed, the text messages Shane sends about a mystery guy to the only other person who knows he’s gay, and the one text he sends to the wrong person by accident.

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    19 Oct 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    I think you can tell your parents you are gay without giving them a list of all the guys you are fucking

    Ilya had said it playfully but it landed heavier than it should have. It should be that easy. His parents were great. But being gay was not the full story. Every answer to any question about it would include Ilya. When did you know? Ilya. How did you know? Ilya. Are you seeing someone? I don’t know what we’re doing but the answer is also Ilya.

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    03 Oct 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Captain
    good morning bood!
    do you have suggestion for fuck marry kill?

    Bood
    Let me think.

    Haasy
    Does it have to be people?

    Captain
    HAASY
    only rule is fuck marry kill

    Bood
    What did you have in mind Luca?

    Haasy
    Blue, green, purple.

    LaPointe
    Luca, your mind…

    Hayes
    Abstract, I like it.

    and

    Bood
    Okay I got it. Noodles, Rice, Bread.

    LaPointe
    Oh my god Bood I can’t believe you would do this to me.

    Captain
    fuck rice marry noodles kill bread

    Bergy
    NOT THE BREAD 😭

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    “Shane,” he says, dread filling his stomach, “is this Boston Lily’s house?”

    “Maybe,” Shane says, dropping down another cooler with a loud bang. “But shhhhh,” he says, putting a finger to his lips, “you can’t tell, okay?”

    “Shane,” Hayden says, a little desperately. “Shane, we have to go.”

    “No,” Shane says, drunk and stubborn and pushing the doorbell about fifty thousand times in quick succession until Hayden pulls his arm away.

    “Shane,” Hayden says, nearly a plea, “listen, I know she broke your heart, but dropping off two hundred pounds of tuna isn’t-”

    Before he can finish telling Shane that a drive-by tuna fishing isn’t a cure for a broken heart, the door opens. When it does, though, it’s not some buxom Boston beauty in a silky negligee.

    It’s Ilya fucking Rozanov.

    Hayden’s one consolation in this mindfuck is that at least Rozanov looks equally surprised at finding himself in this situation.

    (while drowning his sorrows post tuna meltdown, shane ends up in possession of approximately two hundred pounds of raw tuna) (naturally, there's only one person he wants to gift with such a bounty)

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    01 Oct 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    They’re on their own on this fishtrip, the rest of the team tapping out for fear of having to be part of figuring out what they’re going to do with what is almost definitely going to be an ungodly amount of fish. On the wildly rare times Shane has gotten drunk enough to do this before, they’ve been back in Montreal, celebrating a cup win or a bachelor party and with access to multiple fridges and freezers for Shane’s winnings. The first time Shane had done this, Hayden had thought it was a joke. The second time, he’d thought it was a bit. Now he knows that there’s just something about sipping enough Tequila Sunrises that makes Shane feel the siren call of auction-based seafood acquisition.

    Including when they’re in Boston and due on a plane within 24 hours, unfortunately.

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    After two years of playing as Centaurs together and their almost stanley cup win, Hollanov sits down to take a look at their career, from now all the way to 2008.

    Maybe they reveal a little more that people thought because I am sorry did I hallucinate or did they just say they talked/pseudo flirted ever since 2008 and what do you mean they hooked up before they ever played a single NHL game ????

    or: Hollanov do a video series inspired by the vogues "life in looks" and maybe break the internet

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    14 Sep 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Daaany @Holzzyylefttoe

    Ok so fellas who do you text first after a Stanley Cup win and where would you rank your arch rival in that list bc wdym the first one you respond to is Ilya?!

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    Ilya suddenly cleared his throat, squared his shoulders, lifted his chin with a strange expression and began reciting poetry in Russian.

    Shane's jaw dropped.

    “...anyway, he cut his wrists, wrote this poem with his blood, and hanged himself. What?”

    Shane closed his mouth, shook his head, and finally said,

    “When I came here, I expected a lot of things. I don't know that you'd make me drink litres of vodka or something like that. But not poetry in a cemetery, I admit, I didn't see it coming.”

    ...

    NHL 2012 Lockout. Hollander comes to Moscow to play in the KHL and learns two things: Moscow landlords don't particularly like renting to Asians, and Ilya Rozanov has a spare room.

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    08 Sep 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    @scotthunter_admirals Something is deeply wrong with our league if people have to justify themselves for being friends. Rooks @shanehollanderMTL @ilyarozanov81 don't listen to anyone, you're doing great.

    @shanehollanderMTL Well, “doing great” is a stretch, some sponsors now think I'm a thug…

    @ilyarozanov81 I think you lost some favor after someone snatched your Rolex in platzkart.

    @shanehollanderMTL THAT'S YOUR FAULT I DIDN'T WANT TO GO TO KAZAN I WANTED TO GO TO YEREVAN

    @ilyarozanov81 WHY THE FUCK YOU NEED ROLEX IN YEREVAN OR KAZAN YOU IDIOT

    @shanehollanderMTL WHY DID YOU BOOK PLATZKART WHO DO YOU THINK PLANES WERE INVENTED FOR AT LEAST GET A COMPARTMENT

    @ilyarozanov81 THERE WERE NO TICKETS

    @shanehollanderMTL LIES YOU CHEAPSKATE YOU THINK I DIDN'T NOTICE YOU REFUSED TO PAY FOR SAPSAN VIP SEATS THOSE SIDE BUNKS BY THE TOILET STILL HAUNT ME

    @ilyarozanov81 700 BUCKS FOR SEAT ARE YOU NUTS VIP SEATS MY ASS

    @scotthunter_admirals …oh god