Sarcasmandconstantrage



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    Heal Deal by

    Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid  

    30 Jul 2026

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    Summary

    It’s his Person.

    Missed you missed you missed you, he tries to convey with no mouth and no voice and all his heart. He’s reborn the way he died; the name of his Person nestled safe against his tongue.

    “Ilya,” Shane gasps, and his heart beats again.

    Shane Hollander dies the second Ilya Rozanov’s plane goes down. It just takes a while for his body to catch up.

    Thankfully, death isn't permanent — for either of them. Their tangled souls have been given a second chance at life, and they’re going to act like it. Which means never separating again. Ever.

    After all, death can’t part them. Why should hockey?
     

    (Shane's POV of BOGO, can be read as a standalone.)

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    05 Aug 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Yay more emotional devastation by BOGO for a second time, now through Shane’s happily codependent/obsessed/soulmate-entwined pov and I’m once again fighting for my life against the char limit in bookmarks

    Shane Hollander dies on the ice, midway through a middling game against a team he doesn’t even remember anymore. He dies, right there with his blades cutting the ice and the puck nestled in the curve of his stick, and no one notices. Especially not him.

    He needs to be wherever Ilya is – on the ground or in the sky or in the heavens. If he digs and digs and digs and all he finds is blood and broken bone, he’ll lay himself to rest next to Ilya’s remains so they can never be separated again

    He’s fine. His heart is coming apart in small fragments and he’s spitting them out like broken teeth. They won the game. His organs are melted into one and no longer wish to be imprisoned under his flesh. Nothing happened. Someone stuck a crowbar into his sternum and is slowly cracking open the safe of his chest, inch by inch, snapping ribs and sinewy tissue on their path to the empty space where his душа used to be

    Fuck, Shane treated loving each other like it was a dirty secret to beg forgiveness for, and not the best thing that’s ever fucking happened to him

    Every creak of the doorknob could be Ilya. (But it never is.) Every call to the house could be Ilya. (But it never is.) There’s a small envelope in the mix of cards and packages today, neat Cyrillic on the front. It could be Ilya.

    Hand in hand with Ilya’s ghost, Shane dies again. It sticks this time. Finally.

    It’s his Person. Missed you missed you missed you, he tries to convey with no mouth and no voice and all his heart. Missed you more missed you more missed you more streams back to him, because of course his Person is a competitive motherfucker even in death

    They settle into each other, over and under and all around. Spirits buzzing in perfect harmony. They’ve always operated at the same frequency, a connection so exclusive and sacred to them, and now it’s all they are. Stardust interwoven

    It wants him to speak with no voice. It’s trying to re-crystallize salt from the ocean they’ve become. He fights it, clings to his Person and feels him press protectively right back. Nothing can uncouple them now, after all they’ve been through to reach each other again

    Like a fairytale, Shane presses kiss after true love’s kiss to Ilya’s lips until his sleeping beauty finally opens his eyes. Of course, his princess is Ilya Rozanov. So. It plays out more like a bad porno intro than a Disney movie ending

    A second finger nudges at Shane’s entrance. Ilya groans. “So tight for me, my Shane.” “Obviously,” Shane bites out. “You fucking died, Ilya. It’s been a while.” “Me too,” Ilya says unnecessarily. “No sexy ghosts in afterlife.” What about me? I was there too, Shane almost chirps back indignantly, but he really doesn’t want to bring that up before he can get Ilya’s cock in him

    “No, that’s not what I meant.” Shane kisses him like he’s trying to devour him whole, leaving his mark so no one can look at Ilya without knowing to whom he belongs. “You’re mine. In this life and the one before and whatever came before that. You always were. Even before we met. Even when you were fucking a different woman every night. Even when you tried to run away. I don’t give a shit. You were mine from the start.” Ilya comes with a sob

    Shane’s parents look mildly distressed when Shane plops himself into Ilya’s lap at mealtimes. He just can’t stand any further separation. To him, the layers of fabric between Ilya’s dick and Shane’s hole is already a compromise

    Yuna describes it as if Ilya is a stubborn barnacle on a precious gem. A parasite exploiting the desperate plea of a family praying their loved one back to earth. Shane thinks about stardust mixing and celestial hands tugging and stay stay stay.

    David teaches Ilya how to cook his favorite meals. “Shane won’t eat half of these, let alone learn to cook them… I need a son to pass these down to, so. Grab a cutting board, Ilya.” Ilya will deny it until the day he dies a permanent death, but he cries as soon as David leaves the kitchen. Before his tears have even dried, he’s googling for hacks and swaps to make all the recipes Shane-friendly

    What really takes Shane’s breath away, however, is Ilya’s own cubby. They’ve preserved it. The nameplate on top of the stall still boasts Rozanov in bold letters. Bundles of flowers line the shelves, intermingled with electric candles and stuffed bears wearing Russian flag shirts. Little dog figurines are also dotted among the tribute offerings

    “Yoohoo! Where are my ponies!” Ilya Rozanov, back from the dead, greets his team with a toothy smile. “My idiots! I have missed you dearly, but I am back. I hope you gave my husband a warm welcome.”

  2. Public Bookmark *

    Homerun to You by

    Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV) RPF  

    03 Aug 2026

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    @baseballnerd44
    HE ADOPTED HER AS A ROOKIE???

    @historybuff617
    The adoption story is actually pretty well known around Boston.

    After he was drafted, Shane flew to Japan to visit his grandparents in Kyoto before reporting to the organization.

    On the trip back, he stopped in Paris and met a young woman who was trying to escape an abusive husband.

    He helped her get safely to Canada, connected her with organizations that support women fleeing domestic violence, and stayed in contact while she got back on her feet.

    When she gave birth by the end of his first year as a professional baseball player, she made the incredibly difficult decision to place the baby for adoption.

    Shane adopted her.

    Her name is Sofia Yuna Hollander.

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    04 Aug 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    (8) oh delicious a new Lulu Hollanov fic this time baseball themed for me to devour, I love the fuck out of this, even with it hurting my yankee heart to be positive about a red sox team even fictional, I adore Shane enough to let it slide, Ilya in this is heart breaking in the best way, I’m so glad that he cut off his family after seeing Ursula escape from them and also that he found Ursula again to be reconnected with the niece he didn’t know he had, as always fuck Alexei and Grigori, and now get to know and love alongside her adopted family, the Bears in this are delightful especially Rookie Connors with all them helping Ilya see that he has a much better family in his team and that he is a good man despite his awful fucking family, also I related to Ilya so hard when at the first sign of strong romantic desire for Shane he immediately buried it and then when that didn’t work and his competency kink knocked him over he immediately had an existential crisis about it and full spiral panicked about it, but I adore how he got himself the help his mother didn’t have through therapy and self-acceptance and medication and allowing himself to accept that he might deserve good things and to be happy, and also Shane being hyper protective and BAMF about his babygirl is the fucking best and I love how he terrified an entire league of superfans into helping him protect the innocence of his babies childhood especially with him being a public figure: Chapter 8

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    Gay During That Goal, Too by

    Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Game Changers Series - Rachel Reid  

    14 Jun 2026

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    Shane Hollander accidentally comes out to his hockey team after years of hiding his sexuality behind carefully crafted personas and unfinished coming out speeches. As the Metros slowly begin icing him out on and off the ice, Shane spirals between rage, grief, and self-discovery—while Ilya refuses to let him forget exactly who he is.

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    03 Aug 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Shane should absolutely go apeshit and have a massive crash-out on the metros through weaponized psychological warfare while rediscovering what brings him joy at, it’s the least of what he deserves after all that bullshit, and I love the complicated/messy/uncomfortable/difficult aspects of Shane’s relationships with himself and others this story wasn’t afraid to adress

    “I stopped pretending, Mom! I would have—” The clock had already struck past midnight. Maybe it was tiredness, maybe it was the fact that Shane just had enough. Perhaps it was a combination of suppressing himself for years, and that his mother treated him like a client rather than as her son. “All my life, you taught me how to be media-perfect. You taught me how to speak more Canadian so they wouldn’t ask me questions about being half-Japanese. You taught me how to smile more authentically, in your words, because my normal smile isn’t bright enough. You taught me how to sit straighter so I’d look more manly. You taught me how to survive every room by becoming whatever version of myself people would accept easiest—so tell me. Have I changed, or have you forgotten what your son is actually like?”

    “Shane—” The crack in her voice was telling. His mother let herself cry rarely in front of Shane, and maybe he wasn’t the only one affected by the Hollander performance. “It’s called professionalism.” She laughed bitterly. “You have no idea what the world is like to people who are different, Shane. All I did was protect you.”

    “Protect? More like controlled me into a persona that was easy to manage. You made me terrified of being difficult—” My Dad, your husband, had to accidentally watch me kiss my partner for me to come out to you. I tried so fucking hard to be normal, and I did it to please you.

    “You think I don’t recognize what’s happening?” Yuna asked softly. Her voice still hitched, tears catching her vowels, tainting the words. “You finally have someone in your life who tells you to stop caring what people think, and suddenly everything burns down.”

    Shane went rigid instantly. Something unbearably furious moved through his chest, climbed up his throat and ripped his jaw apart with assertions dangerous enough to kill. “You don’t get to blame him for this—you. You just hate that he’s the first fucking person who ever wanted me to be a person before a fucking symbol.”

    That one hurt her. Deservedly. Yuna Hollander loved Ilya Rozanov like a son, no one could deny that. And yet, Shane realized as he heard his mother inhale shakily on the other side of this call, he struck gold. His mother loved him unconditionally, Shane understood, but Ilya loved him in ways his Yuna never could. Ilya saw Shane as just Shane. Yuna saw Shane as something to mold and shape into a character.

    “I have spent your entire life trying to help you survive this league. I did what I thought would keep you safe,” she cried.

    “And I spent my entire life trying to survive being your project.”

    “I know she loves me.” “I know,” Ilya replied. Somehow, that almost made Shane cry more than if Ilya had agreed with him outright. There was no competition here, no villain, no easy answer. Just a mother who had spent her life trying to armor her son for a world she knew would cut him apart if given the chance. And a son who no longer knew where the armor ended and he began.

    “No,” Ilya agreed quietly. “But mothers are stupid with love sometimes.” Ilya almost never talked about mothers, not unless something inside him had already been cracked open first. “My mother used to cut crust off bread for me until I was twelve. She thought it made life easier.” A tiny smile flickered briefly across his mouth before disappearing. “Parents see monsters before children do. They panic.”

    The monsters his mother protected him from, Shane realized, were real. She had never imagined those things, and had spent years preparing him for exactly this kind of cruelty. Somewhere along the way, though, the preparation had become its own cage.

    And Shane wasn’t even fucking sure anymore what he meant, because all he saw in this apartment were two men standing in the middle of the same wound. Shane thought people loved him because he was useful, and Ilya thought people loved him because he was available. Shane believed acceptance could be earned, and Ilya believed it never existed for himself in the first place or would be withdrawn in the future. Somehow, both of them had spent years looking at each other and thinking: at least you don’t have my problem.

    The older Shane Hollander understood that after all these years, after all the compromises and mistakes and fear, he was allowed to want. Want something only to himself. If that was a Russian idiot sitting two hours away, then, well. Maybe the version of sixty-year-old Shane Hollander could explain that one.

  4. Public Bookmark *

    Dernière Danse by

    Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types, Heated Rivalry (TV) RPF  

    26 Jul 2026

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    Summary

    So, I'm trying something a little different with this new installment in the series, and I know it won't be everyone's cup of tea.

    As much as I adore M/M, I've always wanted to throw my hat into the very small pool of Female!Shane/Male!Ilya stories. I've also been itching to write the actor!Shane trope for quite some time, so I finally decided to combine the two.

    Another reason I wanted to write this fic is that, while I absolutely love exploring Shane's Japanese heritage, I realized I've been neglecting Ilya's Russian heritage throughout this series. I wanted to give that side of him more attention here and explore it in a way I haven't before.

    I really hope you'll give it a chance, and if you do, I'd love to hear what you think. I hope you enjoy it! ❤️

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    31 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    Fuck me, get your foot off my neck author and let me breathe jeez (kidding please never stop), every damn fic just makes me fall more and more in love with how this author writes, I just adored every detail about this so much

    Jane's eyes sparkled as she recounted the memory. "She always said your mom danced with so much raw passion. That whenever she stepped onto a stage, it was completely impossible to look anywhere else. I lost count of the times I heard her say that Irina lit up the entire theater."

    Without thinking, Ilya's fingers rose slowly to brush some of the moles on his face. It was a trait his mama had shared. In all his years, through all the media profiles and hockey interviews, no one had ever pointed it out before. No one had ever looked close enough to see her

    It did not. Nothing about Ilya Rozanov felt natural or easy. He made her incredibly nervous. He made her completely forget basic vocabulary. He made her talk entirely too much about things she shouldn't, and then left her to panic about everything she had said afterward. And somehow, despite the absolute mess she felt like, he still looked at her like he loved every single second of it

    Slipping it on after a grueling ten-hour shoot, drowning in the oversized sleeves with the name ROZANOV and the number 81 resting against her back, provided a strange, grounding solace. It was a tangible anchor to a night where she hadn't had to perform for anyone.

    Except, there was one tiny problem: Ilya had absolutely no idea what the layout of her rented apartment looked like. He confidently marched down the narrow hallway, heavily turning left directly into what turned out to be a walk-in linen closet

    It wasn't the smile of a man flirting, nor the grin of a player enjoying the crowd. It was the instinctive happiness of someone whose favorite person had just appeared. Someone who forgot there were twenty thousand people watching because only one person mattered

    Svetlana covered her mouth, trying not to laugh. Of course. Of course, he could not say the words he was too afraid to say. He could not tell Jane that he loved her, but apparently, declaring his devotion to her freckles was perfectly acceptable

    The audience doesn't get the comfort of explanation because neither does life

    Someone online joked that Ilya Rozanov carried Jane Hollander's bags, her dreams, and probably her entire future. Another person replied that Jane had somehow managed to tame the infamous playboy of Boston. Others argued she had never tamed him at all; she had simply found the version of him nobody else had ever been allowed to see

    Maybe that was what love really looked like. Not fireworks, just someone reaching for your hand without thinking. And somehow, that seemed infinitely more beautiful

    “Do you guys not like your wives?" Ilya asked, his Russian accent heavy and completely free of sarcasm… “It sounds exhausting," Ilya continued smoothly, looking down at the Toronto forward. "To live with someone you complain about all the time. Maybe you should give them the chance to find someone who actually enjoys spending time with them

    Her parents had been over the moon. Yuna had declared him her "absolute favorite son" during a FaceTime call, which had caused the massive, terrifying hockey captain to promptly bury his face into Jane’s shoulder and shed genuine tears of emotional overload. Jane had found it utterly endearing, even if she secretly wished he’d learn not to hide his pretty blue eyes whenever he cried

    “Thank you for being my anchor, my home, and my favorite person in the entire world," Jane said softly, her eyes locked onto his. "You told me tonight that I was going to win. But the truth is, I already won the moment I found you. I love you."

    “We don't care about that, Ilya," Yuna told him firmly, stepping up to cup his jaw with her hand. "You played with your whole heart. You gave everything you had on that ice, and it showed in every single shift. Nobody wins forever. You had an extraordinary year, and we are so, so proud of you."

    I never imagined that decades later, her son would fall in love with my daughter. There are moments that make you believe life has a strange way of bringing people back to one another. This is one of them. I know she would have adored Jane. And I know she would have been so incredibly proud of the man you have become. Welcome to the family, Ilya

    “You taught me that home was never a place at all. It was a person. It was coming back to someone who never asked me to be anyone except myself. You taught me that love doesn't have to be loud to be extraordinary. It can be gentle, patient, and unwavering. It can be waiting for me after good days and terrible ones with exactly the same smile."

  5. Public Bookmark *

    His Majesty, Shane Fucking Hollander by

    Fandoms: Heated Rivalry (TV), Game Changers | Heated Rivalry - All Media Types  

    30 Jul 2026

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    "You signed with the LA Kings?" she demanded. "What were you thinking? You know the plan. We'd go to the draft, get first pick, and go to Montreal."

    "What are you even talking about?" Shane shot back. "If I got first pick, I'd go to Boston, not Montreal. And I don't even want to go to Montreal."

    "Why?" Mom asked immediately. "They're one of the best teams in the league. One of the Original Six."

    Something inside him snapped, and before he even realized it, he switched to Japanese.

    "I don't know," he said, his voice tight. "Maybe because they're full of racists and homophobes. Do you even understand what I'm saying? Or have you become so white you forgot your own language?"

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    09 Jul 2026

    Bookmarker's Notes

    (14) I guess it’s official that I love all the hollanov this author writes cause this is also fucking brilliant, LA fits Shane delightfully well and I love that so much for this Shane especially with him having much closer ties to his Japanese heritage in this, I adore how healthy/accepting/friendly this LA team feels especially with Ryan, Bood, and Wyatt alongside Shane, Hollywood is one of my fave nicknames, Shane with self-confidence in regards to his sexuality is refreshing, Shane and Rose friendship always gives me life, Yuna finding her way back to her culture with David right besides her and starting to mend their relationship with Shane is so healing, Rose + Lisa + Farah = the epic partnership I didn’t know I needed, yesss give my goalie all the sponsorships, love that being on different sides of the country is still not enough distance for Hollanov to forget each other, Ilya yearning for routines/mundanity/boring stability is catnip to me, Obaachan took one look at Ilya and immediately decided to adopt him as her grandson with Ojisan smartly agreeing as he teaches Ilya about gardening, yesssss sexy grinding in a gay bar where it’s safe for them to be together, Shane on a mission to seduce his man through tequila body shots is perfection, every socmed chapter from this author is a gift, all hail his majesty and his loyal knight, BED CHEM!!! Fucking love everything about their first time just absolute perfection, the intimacy and care and honest vulnerability in their silences is so precious, “You're mine. No take-backs.", Ilya being terrified of leaving familiar abuse of his family for the warmth and joy in being wanted just as he is from Shane and choosing to try anyway is why I adore him, making me tear up over the grandparents gifting them pets so they won’t be lonely at home is rude, their love will never truly cure their anxieties/depression/insecurities but it can sure as fuck help, Yuna and Ilya bonding over moving to a new country so very different from their home is so important, I will never get over Shane guiding Ilya through his childhood stomping grounds, the Council finding Ilya as an acceptable consort is hilarious, and yes Warlord Rozanov is the best fucking choice
    (17) I love a Japandi style home for Shane, fuck “is that our house” hurts so good, we love an intense and non-toxic rivalry, Shane’s peaceful morning getting de-railed by Ilya’s surprise CK ad and then getting virtually railed by Ilya surprise gift is perfection, and Ilya being loved by the Hollander family through recipes, puzzles and endorsements is so lovely
    (18) Sveta and Ilya here are my fave type of friendship where they meet each other both as they are and who they’re growing to be, where with new boundaries and life-style changes they adapt to continue growing together rather than drag the other back, also Svera being perceptive as hell is fantastic
    (19) long live loverboy Ilya, comphet is so fucking weird babe, and emotionally secure and trusting Hollanov is delicious
    (25) all the smut in this is so delicious, glad to see the internet also unable to handle the CK ad, the @lululives inserts are always hilarious, hehe poor Neutralfan, i’m so happy Ilya finally has home built to welcome him with love in every detail, I love these four supportive idiots, BACKYARD SOCIOPATHS hehehe, inner peace making Ilya a hockey terrorizing machine is delightful, cute-top girl/nightlife menace Ilya supremacy, aww I love Shane reclaiming French detached from resentment, and BAMF Shane helping fix the emotional ruins of Ilya/Sveta/Sasha is my fave
    (27) every Sato/Hollander family chapter makes me so happy and seeing Ilya fit into Shane’s family is the best, and yay we are the building the cottage!! god i love this so much: Chapter 27