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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Summary

    Several MLH players have their phones hacked.

    Most people find embarrassing photos.

    Ilya Rozanov accidentally leaks five years' worth of sex reviews.

    -

    You know that TikTok trend where people rate how good the sex was in front of their partner?

    Yeah. It's that.

     

    UPDATED: (second chapter) July 12, 2026

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,068
    Chapters:
    2/2
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    10 Aug 2026

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  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Selected text messages from the phones of Ilya Rozanov and Shane Hollander, circa 2020-2021.

     
    Troy Barrett: I’m planning to drive up to Toronto to finish packing up my apartment on Saturday, and I was wondering if you’d want to grab dinner after your game while we’re both in town?
    -
    Jane: …did you tell Barrett about us?
    Lily: no i promise
    Lily: he maybe thinks it is possible, but i did not tell
    Jane: I don’t think he has any idea
    Lily: what makes you say this
    Jane: Just a hunch

     
    Or: Troy asks for Shane’s number, and Ilya gives it to him. What could go wrong? Or maybe more importantly, what could go right?

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    25,321
    Chapters:
    12/12
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    Comments:
    585
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    7,544
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    09 Aug 2026

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  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Then Ilya reached over and gently tapped Logan’s nose. “You never told us what you wished for.”

    Logan’s eyes widened immediately. “Oh.”

    Shane smiled softly. “You know, when you blew out your candles?”

    For a moment Logan looked suspicious, like perhaps wishes were classified information. Then he leaned closer dramatically. “I wished for Isla.”

    Shane blinked. “…Who’s Isla, baby?”

    Logan looked at him like this should’ve been obvious. “My baby.”

    Or Shane and Ilya give Logan the sibling he wished for on his third birthday.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    26,606
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    81
    Kudos:
    3,008
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    478
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    36,699

    27 May 2026

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  4. Public Bookmark *

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    At some point their relationship got fucked up enough that Ilya helps wax Shane’s pubes when they’re in town together, instead of doing normal couple things like watching Iron Chef or having brunch. Ilya thinks it started happening around, after the time he had to beg Shane not to bleach his asshole but before they both started peeing while taking showers together. “I just want a clean slate,” he tells Ilya very seriously, but they come to a compromise that he should keep something short and trimmed above his dick. Ilya, on the other hand, is under strict instruction to never touch any of his pubic hair, lest Shane have nothing to hold on to when he’s working the head with the back of his throat, so it’s kind of a shock when he says, “We should wax your ass too.”

    Or: Ilya Rozanov gets fisted.

    Series
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,647
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    230
    Kudos:
    3,155
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    732
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    13 May 2026

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  5. Public Bookmark *

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    “Sylvia,” Shane murmured, clearly mortified.

    “What?” she said innocently. “I’m just saying. And I’m also saying that a certain someone here, hasn’t stopped staring at someone else since they walked in. Their partner has been doing all of the work.” A brow was quirked towards the Russian paramedic.

    Ilya nearly dropped his gauze “Da- I mean no, I—” he started, then stopped, flustered.

    Shane looked like he wanted the floor to swallow him whole.

    Cliff snorted under his breath and turned away, suddenly very interested in the supply bag.

    Sylvia leaned toward Shane. “Ask for his number,” she whispered loudly enough that it wasn’t a whisper at all. “They’ll be taking me away in T-minus five minutes. You don’t wanna miss your shot kiddo!”

    Or Shane is a Librarian and Ilya is a Paramedic. They meet , fall in love, have a baby together . Oh and Shane is Autistic and worries a lot.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    34,243
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    49
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    1,670
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    449
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    30 Apr 2026

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